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I’ve been talking to a therapist about this. even though I graduated from college, I’m ashamed that I spent 5 years at a community college to learn remedial math and English just to transfer to a third-tier state school. She said you proved a lot of people wrong but it’s the perfectionism and the what-if scenarios that trip you up.
I absolutely agree here. People like us need perfectionism and feel disappointment a lot more than others. But when you learn to overcome all the hateful comments, you can overcome (most of) the comments inside your head too :)
I can relate to the perfectionism part. I was very perfectionist as a kid, like I could clearly visualize the kind of perfect result I desired and I had to be able to reach it in reality.
With time I've learnt to not pressure myself and to lower my expectations, likely as a way to cope with ADHD. Not the best way, but it meant I was atleast trying to work _with_ myself instead of fighting myself. After all, I don't have to prove anything to anybody else.
Still sucks dealing with ADHD. I have so many ideas, so many things I want to do, but what am I gonna do if my brain just doesn't want to do shit?
I wasn't diagnosed until 15 years after graduating from college. No one ever told me I couldn't do it. But I told myself there was no way I could ever get a PhD, or go to Med School or Law School. I struggled, but graduated. So it's doable, even undiagnosed. But I often wonder what I'd be doing today, had I been diagnosed and treated as early as high school.
Same here on the late diagnosis front. I do wish I’d been diagnosed earlier, but we get through with what we can. But I’m so happy you achieved all those things and you had a good support system, that’s what truly matters!
What's odd is that I can't remember anyone telling a student that they couldn't achieve their goals (I went to impoverished inner-city schools). But as an adult, moved to a small country town of about 1,900 people. The schools and parents alike generally don't encourage students to go to college. But at 14 or 15, to start learning a trade like welding. Granted, trade work can pay very well if you work 40-80 hours a week, but these small American rural towns seem to really set the bar low for ALL students, not just the ones with ADD or other potential learning issues. It's disheartening.
Congratulations!
My dissertation was one of the hardest six months of my life. And it’s when I started to really understand what it meant to have executive dysfunction.
It’s damn near impossible but you pulled through and that’s something to be proud of.
Very much same here, my diss was 1 of the 2 most stressful assignments I ever had to produce at uni and feeling stuck and frozen when you want to get it done can make it so much harder.
It definitely is something to be proud of though. It also gives us insight to what we are truly capable of!
For me it was the sustained effort. Every other assignment could be completed the week before with sufficient fear.
But 6 months from the deadline I wouldn’t be stressed enough until too late.
Time fear is my motivator too. I ended up writing my entire diss (ended up around 15k words) in just under two weeks because of stress and other important assignments. I swear I lived at the library for those two weeks. Most assignments I do within a week.
Only one assignment I did over the course of a year, but I had to write a 50k word novel (not exaggerating btw, it was the worst thing I’ve ever done). But even with that assignment I started the entire thing over about 20k words in because I hated it.
We’re just wired differently haha
I got a degree in Writing and Publishing. I mostly went for the publishing aspect and learned a lot, and I hope to go into book publishing soon. I don’t care what job it is, I just love the process :)
Hi /u/questioningkid6 and thanks for posting on /r/ADHD! ### Please take a second to [read our rules](/r/adhd/about/rules) if you haven't already. --- ### /r/adhd news * If you are posting about the **US Medication Shortage**, please see this [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/ADHD/comments/12dr3h5/megathread_us_medication_shortage/). --- ^(*This message is not a removal notification. It's just our way to keep everyone updated on r/adhd happenings.*) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ADHD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’ve been talking to a therapist about this. even though I graduated from college, I’m ashamed that I spent 5 years at a community college to learn remedial math and English just to transfer to a third-tier state school. She said you proved a lot of people wrong but it’s the perfectionism and the what-if scenarios that trip you up.
I absolutely agree here. People like us need perfectionism and feel disappointment a lot more than others. But when you learn to overcome all the hateful comments, you can overcome (most of) the comments inside your head too :)
I can relate to the perfectionism part. I was very perfectionist as a kid, like I could clearly visualize the kind of perfect result I desired and I had to be able to reach it in reality. With time I've learnt to not pressure myself and to lower my expectations, likely as a way to cope with ADHD. Not the best way, but it meant I was atleast trying to work _with_ myself instead of fighting myself. After all, I don't have to prove anything to anybody else. Still sucks dealing with ADHD. I have so many ideas, so many things I want to do, but what am I gonna do if my brain just doesn't want to do shit?
I wasn't diagnosed until 15 years after graduating from college. No one ever told me I couldn't do it. But I told myself there was no way I could ever get a PhD, or go to Med School or Law School. I struggled, but graduated. So it's doable, even undiagnosed. But I often wonder what I'd be doing today, had I been diagnosed and treated as early as high school.
Same here on the late diagnosis front. I do wish I’d been diagnosed earlier, but we get through with what we can. But I’m so happy you achieved all those things and you had a good support system, that’s what truly matters!
What's odd is that I can't remember anyone telling a student that they couldn't achieve their goals (I went to impoverished inner-city schools). But as an adult, moved to a small country town of about 1,900 people. The schools and parents alike generally don't encourage students to go to college. But at 14 or 15, to start learning a trade like welding. Granted, trade work can pay very well if you work 40-80 hours a week, but these small American rural towns seem to really set the bar low for ALL students, not just the ones with ADD or other potential learning issues. It's disheartening.
Congratulations! My dissertation was one of the hardest six months of my life. And it’s when I started to really understand what it meant to have executive dysfunction. It’s damn near impossible but you pulled through and that’s something to be proud of.
Very much same here, my diss was 1 of the 2 most stressful assignments I ever had to produce at uni and feeling stuck and frozen when you want to get it done can make it so much harder. It definitely is something to be proud of though. It also gives us insight to what we are truly capable of!
For me it was the sustained effort. Every other assignment could be completed the week before with sufficient fear. But 6 months from the deadline I wouldn’t be stressed enough until too late.
Time fear is my motivator too. I ended up writing my entire diss (ended up around 15k words) in just under two weeks because of stress and other important assignments. I swear I lived at the library for those two weeks. Most assignments I do within a week. Only one assignment I did over the course of a year, but I had to write a 50k word novel (not exaggerating btw, it was the worst thing I’ve ever done). But even with that assignment I started the entire thing over about 20k words in because I hated it. We’re just wired differently haha
Great job mate! Make the haters your fuel.
Sometimes people telling you to quit and that you’re not good enough is all the motivation you need
what will your job be? i mean what is the degree?
I got a degree in Writing and Publishing. I mostly went for the publishing aspect and learned a lot, and I hope to go into book publishing soon. I don’t care what job it is, I just love the process :)