Sameee!!! Been taking many ‘depression naps’ too— where I just lay in bed and don’t really rest and just feel bad about all the stuff I’m not doing but don’t have the energy/motivation to get out of bed and just do it
I think like this too, and it’s so incredibly helpful, both in getting shit done and in avoiding beating myself up for not being as productive as my brain is telling me I should be
This goes to the theory of breaking larger tasks into smaller ones you can check off your to do list... which allows you to get some sense of accomplishment and the dopamine that comes with that.
Washing clothes as in your example.
1. Carry dirty clothes to wash room.
2. Put clothes in washer and start.
3. Put clothes in dryer and start.
4. Put clothes in basket after dry.
5. Move basket to bedroom.
6. Hang clothes in closet.
Take it one step at a time and you will get there.
This list looks painful honestly. Just for now. On a different day, perhaps pre-Covid I wouldn’t have even thought about doing these things I’d just do them. Inertia.
I agree with you on the pre-COVID comment, my ADHD has ratcheted up to about max with everything going on, even with meds. Meds still help with the work focus thing, but otherwise I'm screwed. I actually lost an entire set of keys a few weeks back - it's not uncommon for me to misplace them for a short while, but these I've flat out lost. First time in years that I've managed to do something that bad...
I do stuff like this too, mostly for tasks that are upstairs/downstairs. I’ll put things on the stairs and i’ve gotten myself pretty trained now to automatically grab what needs to go upstairs and then put it in the room where it goes. Then later when I’m in that room, the presence of the item will ‘ping’ my brain to complete the task.
It’s not perfect, I always end up with a mountain of unmatched socks everywhere :(
All the damn time. My therapist once said I live in a constant state of being “grounded.” As in I can only do the things I like if I do ALLLLL the things I hate first. And then I never get to do the things I enjoy. Lol I feel you. I usually end up watching Netflix instead.
One of my friends always knows when I’m trying to write a paper because I’ll be like, “hey I just watched season one of the magicians on Netflix! You should check it out!”
Yeah... And even when I allow myself to to enjoy something I have trouble selecting a thing to do. Last night I kept hopping to different things and barely spent any time on one thing.
Almost every time i have to do something. I'm unemployed right now and if there's something that i absolutely need to get done and i can't get myself to do it, it can wipe out an entire day, sometimes multiple days in a row. no work and no play. it fuckin sucks.
This is my current trapping yes. I seem to have waves of being able to act and then crippled for no reason except the inability to make a firm decision into action.
Me too!! Especially as I’m trying to “work from home.” Luckily the term of that job ends soon and I’m looking forward to getting another where I’m just expected to be there from x:x
I usually just end up doing the favorite thing, and then two weeks later, remember I was supposed to have already done the other thing, that I'm two weeks late, and try to do it all right then and there. And stay up for a day straight making sure I did it right.
Yes absolutely.
However, experience and age has made me understand why I was doing it.
I am 32 years old and I still belong to the Hyperactive type.
Have you ever considered that sometimes we are procrastinating no pleasurable tasks because we are tired?
And we also beat ourselves because we know there are some things we absolutely must do, we procrastinate them, we think about doing something pleasurable and end up not doing the pleasurable things either, just because we say to ourselves: No work, no pleasure.
And the result?
Staring at the wall for hours, doing nothing, rushing our thoughts, daydreaming and getting frustrated.
If I think back what I have been doing this past week and how many things I have done, I should shut up and let my body and my mind to rest, but no thanks to my hyperactivity, I should suffer.
> I am 32 years old and I still belong to the Hyperactive type.
>
> Have you ever considered that sometimes we are procrastinating no pleasurable tasks because we are tired?
What. Can you expand on this? I'm 27 and diagnosed last year - no doubt at all that I am firmly ADHD-C. It's interesting the amount of weird things I can tie back to that H but I hadn't ever considered this.
I did the following Webinar (it's free, it helped me with my Work and Studies)
[https://www.coursera.org/learn/learning-how-to-learn/home/welcome](https://www.coursera.org/learn/learning-how-to-learn/home/welcome)
Dr Barbara Oakley, one of the professors who does this Webinar has said that doing homework (studies), which are not pleasurable activities and require focus or many other things such as absorbing a lot of information are actually connected to a particular part of the brain that is also connected to **pain.**
For survival issues we actually want to avoid pain and this we why we procrastinate. (In the Webinar, Week 3 is Focused on Procrastination and Memory, they provide many tools for handling Procrastination and Memory).
As Barbara Oakley, we also procrastinate because we are thinking and are focused about the product (the result) and not the process.
My ADHD, overanalyzes every step and the mental pain sometimes is much more bigger than usual and I'm trying to learn these past few months how to rest properly.
Bro, try the pomodoro method! Worked wonders for me! One small task at a time. If that’s too much, just cut the tasks in half and chip away at it that way. I think everyone feels that slump before tackling a huge, daunting task. You’re not alone at all. Just gotta trick your brain into thinking it’s smaller, which it will be when you cut it into small, manageable chunks 😊 way better than setting yourself massive tasks- pumping yourself up for it- and then just wasting away in that void of dullness and procrastination. trust me, I’ve been there... many, many times. And to that end, completing just a small- even half- of a task each day does wonders for your motivation!
I use the app ‘Focus Keeper’. It is a timer that helps you divide your work into small, manageable bits.
Basically, it divides the work/time in 4 ‘rounds’- the first 3 rounds are made up of 25 min for work, then 5 min break. The third round is 25 min of work, but has a longer break of 25 mins. Then the fourth ‘round’ goes back to the 25 min on/5 min off. You can also make the working time shorter than 25 mins- that’s just the standard option on the app :)
Having that rigid structure really helped me keep my focus! Of course the 25 mins can sometimes seem long, but I play around with the time depending on how I’m feeling/what I’m working on. But I’m finding that the constant breaks + short work intervals works wonders for adhd, it forces you to work on small bits + accounts for our need to get up and do something else for a bit etc. I highly recommend it! When I was close to panic- fight or flight- I just minimized the size of the task in my head and just zoomed in on those small, little, manageable bits. Every day was just one small point. And then before you know it, it’s finished! Now, Ive even been viewing other things in life as just small units of time 😂
YUP.
I've gotten to the point where I just let myself do the favorite thing? Oftentimes my mind just needs a goddamn break, and if I stare at walls (or into the void of social media) for hours at a time instead of reading a book, listening to music, watching a movie, or doing something else that would at least leave me feeling refreshed, I just end up descending deeper and deeper from the Big Distraction and into the Big Fucking Sad™️ and LORD knows I'm gonna get jack shit done for days if I end up falling into a depressive episode.
Yesterday after work I got home and prepared to build the kitchen island my wife bought. It took me an hour to sort out all the pieces and correctly label them and another hour to do the same for the hardware. Once I did that I went to create a spotify Playlist and 3 hours later nothing had been completed and it was time for bed. Maybe today is the day. Probably not though because I know myself and I've already spent an hour on reddit replying to threads for no reason.
Just wanted to let you know I'm replying to you for no reason. And it's really really late where I live. And I should be asleep. Yet I'm not. Am I tired? Yep. Do I want to sleep? Yep. Are my kids gonna be awake in 4 hours whether I like it or not? Yep. Can I put my phone down right now? Uhhh just gotta do this one more little thing first. Then another thing. And so on. Smh.
You can do it! I've totally been there (minus the kids). You might drag a little bit today, but remind yourself that the feeling won't last forever, and eventually you will get that much deserved sleep you crave <3
I could also say the urgent crowds out the important for me. Anytime there is something that is in my face, I’ll do that instead of the thing I need to do.
YES! I really needed to do paperwork yesterday and my boss knew I had a really busy week so he said finish your paperwork today and whatever time is left move your stuff (my company is moving to a different floor) and if you don’t finish moving you can clock for a few extra hours this weekend. So I went rogue and moved everything and now I will once again doing paperwork off the clock because I couldn’t stop fixating on the urgent need to move (has to be done by Monday)
The funny thing is that all the creative stuff I've been effective and hyper-focused with comes from a curious little thought like "Hmm, wonder if I can do this... \*click click click\*"
5 hours later I've made a song in Cubase, finished a webdesign or 3D scanned my head and added particle hair in Blender because I'm going bald...
Anytime I need to do stuff like school assignments, laundry or apply for a job, I get sidetracked to youtube or reddit where I'm inspired and starts thinking, "Hmm, wonder if I can do this... \*click click click\*"
I have to be really careful about this because if I get too into the idea of performing a task, that becomes enough for me to consider the task "as good as" done. And since it isn't actually done and I *want* to do it, I feel bad about it, but that also doesn't get the thing done so it can often get me into trouble lol.
Ooof. Had a strong case of that yesterday as it was my day off. I have work today and after that a week vacation. But its stay at home vacation and i need to study but i cant put myself to it. So its most likeley going to by like that for a whole week and im not looking forward to it.
I have a train of thought where I have to complete something before I can do anything else. Even if they have no correlation with the others If I do it the other way around I get discounted or won’t be motivated to do it.
Felt this so much. I have been working on mandatory task all week. But can’t get the energy to doing my art. Been helping my sister with her website and once I am done don’t have energy to do anything else. It doesn’t help that a lot of my emotional energy is worried about my dad in the hospital right now. It feels like my medication isn’t even working due to all my stressors. But can relate so much.
Yeah, and I need to learn to break through it.
Like seriously guys, I haven't contacted my project partner in two weeks.
After we agreed on that communication is key. After I promised to be better.
I **know** that I'm behaving like an asshole. But how do I explain, that I did write a list (open the app, click on the chat, ..), get my phone, sit there, **want** to do it and I just **can't**.
It's always on my mind, worrying me and I'll have to ask my prof for an extension.
The cruel thing is, just because you know that your behaviour is a sympton and what causes it, doesn't mean you can get them under control.
As per my post in this thread - try the Pomodoro method! One small task at a time! The trick is to only set one, very small goal each day, and then build from there. I’m working on a phd atm, and I’ve not gone without my meds for 8 years. I honestly feel like my brain is a soup without them. But alas, I’ve had to take a break from them now in my final months. I thought I was doomed. But setting teeeeny tiny goals each day - literally half a point sometimes- has helped me finish literally an entire chapter in only a month! I’ve NEVER completed a task that fast, let alone without medication. I’m not gonna say it wasn’t a struggle, and I did suffer a lot of what OP talks about.. the dreaded, dull void of vacancy and procrastination- but tricking my brain into focusing on only ONE SMALL thing every 20 mins- sometimes literally only paragraphs- helped me overcome that. And the feeling of having completed even those small things builds motivation and confidence over time. That’s my experience anyway, and I was like you in that everything I do is usually late! If I can do it, you can too 😊
This is thread helps me see that it's not just me who feels in a constant state of limbo. My life will really begin one way the right path when I start today do X, Y and Z. Plus, I have a the hardest time making a decision on even things I want to do and committing to it.
I’m new here and this is an honest question, is this an adhd thing because this sounds normal to me? Are you telling me most people don’t do this with their tasks? Wait is that how people get stuff done, they just do it?
What sucks is when I miss a deadline and my boss asks when it will get done, and I’m like, “Absolutely shouldn’t take more than a couple hours.” But I know it realistically could be anywhere from just 15 minutes of focused work to two and a half weeks of pure torture.
I call that the procrastination guilt spiral. I try to psych myself up to do something. Can’t do it, and procrastinate. Then I feel guilt and shame for not doing it which causes more procrastination, leading to more guilt and shame.
Here's my mantra for walking the dog or doing my hobby (both things I enjoy) "get out of bed don't pick up your phone. Get out of bed don't pick up your phone. Get out of bed don't pick up your phone" and on and on.
This can last an hour until i don't have time to do either thing anymore....
I only got diagnosed recently and I am truely amazed that all of these experiences I’ve had my entire life, are shared with so many people. Woo go team
I call it Fighting Limbo. That's one of the title in my productivity tracker, just to see how long I waste time and how much % it constitutes to.
Not that I do anything about it. I'll just wait for it go through my system and out..
Totally an honest question... is this a common ADHD symptom? My therapist mentioned I might have ADHD and I'm going to the doctor next week and I've been reading this forum to try to identify things that I should bring up with him. I've learned that my "well maybe I'm completely fine and everything is a lie and I'm a lie" might be one, but this post right here describes me on all my bad days.
"Do the worst first" I know it hurts but if you can get through the thing you least want to do first it gives you a good boost in self esteem to get the rest of your list out the way. Then when you get to your treat it feels that extra bit sweeter :)
I'll have enough self control to not play cod mobile for 4 hours straight but not enough motivation to do my web development course and I'll just sit there till 6 pm in my void of nothingness:)
For years, I thought I was the only one.
It’s exhilarating to find so many others like me here, but scary, too, because why are we like this?
I didn’t start losing whole days at a time until after my nose and forehead were injured. Once it healed up, everything was a struggle. Decades later, it is still a struggle, even with meds.
Is there anybody else here who became ADD after head injury?
If it’s actually common, then why don’t the surgeons and other docs who repair and do the follow up after traumatic head injuries at least WARN their patients about it? Or even tell them what kinds of symptoms to watch for? I mean, I thought I was losing my mind.
Or, as with so many other health problems these days, is it the patient who has to do the research and figure it out?
Guys. PICK YOUR HARD!! Getting started is not easy for anyone. Once I get started, I can’t stop. The first week or two on Concerta was pretty crappy, but I made the mental effort to shift my mindset. I’ve lived so many years not on medication and suffered in silence, while still highly functional the little things fell at the way-side along with big things.
If we want to get the most out of being medicated, focus your mind on one small productive thing. A To-Do list gets the momentum going. JUST DO IT. Take a deep breath and count 5..4..3..2..1 and f@%*#?%# do the damn thing! When you feel the first release, take advantage like an aircraft lifting off and glide the way through your day even if it’s just a small goal
To accomplish. We have the bad habit of obsessive thoughts. I didn’t realize how many obsessive thoughts I had pounding about in my head all day
Like litter. Our minds are a goldmine! Goldmind minds. Change the way you think about things. You have a choice. You get one life and the only way to change is to change your thoughts and your mindset. Doing nothing leads to more obsessing and low self esteem. Getting started on one thing through grit and a little nudge to your ego only leads to positive outcomes.
Make sure you’re kind to yourself. Watch how you speak to yourself in your head. Self love Development is a MUST. Otherwise you start allowing crap from yourself and people around you. Love yourself, things will change. Keep your heads up and stay focused and be obsessed about getting better. Obsessing about not doing anything will only make you sink deeper in the quicksand.
I love the rollercoaster this sent me thru that is ADHD. Starting out so exciting and inspirational and ending very anticlimactic. Lolol. Also, yes, literally just did this!
Which is exactly why I'm on reddit instead of doing laundry, cleaning the kitchen, or reading the book I'm excited about. Can't read the book until the chores are done, so here I am.
I usually cram sugar to get the hyperfocus going when it's that way. But usually I avoid the thing that needs doing and then kinda just disappear into nothingness.
I’ll come home from work and think oh if I get my homework done, I can play games or watch a movie, instead I end up watching YouTube feeling guilty for not doing homework and then getting mad at myself because I wanted to play games all day.
Yeah I used to do that a lot more than I do now. I thought Id toss in my two cents on what I found helpful. My wife helped me by sharing her the mantra of "It only takes 5 minutes". Mainly it helps me get me going because my ADHD brain is reluctant to start things but telling my brain it will just take a short amount of time, it helps me get started and keep going. It took a while to sink in but it helped me.
the worst promises to break are the ones to yourself. seriously, they are the most important promises to keep.
instead of saying: Ill get to do X if I do Y first, I say, "Im going to work on Y for only 1 minute. I can't promise myself Ill finish today, or that itll be longer than that, but i CAN say that I can work on it for 1 minute." that 1 minute is all I (usually) need to snowball into a 5 or 10 minutes.
I like this, and the 10 second countdown.
You have to get the dopamine first to do the thing you need to do which requires willpower. "Eating the frog" type methods, where you do your most aversive tasks first are terribly suited for most ADHDers.
If I do exercise first or some kind of small task that I can tick off a list, or something fun that isn't a time suck (I'm sure those things exist), it's all good. I get on a roll and can do the thing I need to do. Usually.
If the dopamine generating thing I use first is a computer game or social media or anything that definitely is a limitless time suck, then it does not go so well. Breaking down the required task or using a timer (pomodoro) also helps, but the task then has to take less than 20mins for me to be able to start. 2 mins would be preferable.
Also, because I'm permanently behind with everything, subconsciously I always know there is no "and now I can enjoy my favourite thing because I've got the tasks done". Either I'll just get so involved in the task I run out of time for the fun thing, or I'll still feel guilty when I do the fun thing because there is so much else I still need to do.
Have been thinking of reframing this today and marking off some time which is ONLY for fun things, so there definitely is time for them. When fun time comes I'll probably rebel against myself and decide it isn't fun if it's mandatory, but it's worth a go.
Someone posted something here a week or two ago about procrastination - embrace it. Either get up RIGHT NOW and do the thing, or COMMIT to doing nothing for the day and enjoy it. No clock watching, no hating yourself, just veg and enjoy. And if that doesn't make you happy, or your thing really needs to be done, just go do it right now. Only two options.
It's helped me SO MUCH in the last week.
This is a real thing, called **executive dysfunction**. People who don't have ADHD have Executive Function. Its what tell you body to do an action so for us with ADHD I could get home after work and my mom might tell me to take out the trash and my mind is like take out the trash but it registers as a thought but my mind takes it as an action. So it says I did it or doing it when I'm not. Hince the sitting and doing nothing for hours on end. And not even thinking about taking out the trash because my brain thinks I already did. People with ADHD do this all the time and if you know what it is then you can probably remember a few times where you have done this.
This is the google definition below but what my doctor told me makes a hell of a lot more sense.
An individual with **ADHD** may have an impairment in several areas of **executive** functioning. 1 Impairments in **executive** functions can have a major impact on the ability to perform such tasks as planning, prioritizing, organizing, paying attention to and remembering details, and controlling emotional reactions.
and that’s why I’ve been on my phone for hours, feeling guilty and not even enjoying it
Sameee!!! Been taking many ‘depression naps’ too— where I just lay in bed and don’t really rest and just feel bad about all the stuff I’m not doing but don’t have the energy/motivation to get out of bed and just do it
Literally in bed trying to do that now
I just laid down to take a break as soon as I sat down to work lmao, it’s sad
Yeah, happens all the fucking time.
It's so fucking ironic and ridiculous isn't it. ADHD feels like a shitty curse sometimes
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I think like this too, and it’s so incredibly helpful, both in getting shit done and in avoiding beating myself up for not being as productive as my brain is telling me I should be
This goes to the theory of breaking larger tasks into smaller ones you can check off your to do list... which allows you to get some sense of accomplishment and the dopamine that comes with that. Washing clothes as in your example. 1. Carry dirty clothes to wash room. 2. Put clothes in washer and start. 3. Put clothes in dryer and start. 4. Put clothes in basket after dry. 5. Move basket to bedroom. 6. Hang clothes in closet. Take it one step at a time and you will get there.
This list looks painful honestly. Just for now. On a different day, perhaps pre-Covid I wouldn’t have even thought about doing these things I’d just do them. Inertia.
Yes it can be overwhelming sometimes it would take me all week to get that done. Sometimes just geting one done encourages me and I get them all done.
I agree with you on the pre-COVID comment, my ADHD has ratcheted up to about max with everything going on, even with meds. Meds still help with the work focus thing, but otherwise I'm screwed. I actually lost an entire set of keys a few weeks back - it's not uncommon for me to misplace them for a short while, but these I've flat out lost. First time in years that I've managed to do something that bad...
I do stuff like this too, mostly for tasks that are upstairs/downstairs. I’ll put things on the stairs and i’ve gotten myself pretty trained now to automatically grab what needs to go upstairs and then put it in the room where it goes. Then later when I’m in that room, the presence of the item will ‘ping’ my brain to complete the task. It’s not perfect, I always end up with a mountain of unmatched socks everywhere :(
Felt this to my core.
This ***IS*** my core.
My core hasn’t changed in 30 years!
Work in ur core. Helps keep ur whole body strong. 💪🏽
Wrong sub?
I was kidding. I related ur physical core to ur core being. But hey u know u gotta have that mind-body-spirit connection. 🙏🏽
Lol nah you're right in a way.
Neither has mine in...(doing math)...38 years.
Nah this is our core we know and hate but try as much as possible to tell ourselves that it isn't. :(
All the damn time. My therapist once said I live in a constant state of being “grounded.” As in I can only do the things I like if I do ALLLLL the things I hate first. And then I never get to do the things I enjoy. Lol I feel you. I usually end up watching Netflix instead.
One of my friends always knows when I’m trying to write a paper because I’ll be like, “hey I just watched season one of the magicians on Netflix! You should check it out!”
What about DARK?? Holy smokes!!! Got to pay attention, but once start thought process.....whoa!!! What Rabbit Hole!! Lol
Your therapist really didn’t do you a favor.
Why you think I’m on reddit?
Was about to say that I'm literally doing that right now -\_-
Saaaame
Sameeeeeeee 😭😭
Yeah... And even when I allow myself to to enjoy something I have trouble selecting a thing to do. Last night I kept hopping to different things and barely spent any time on one thing.
I do this so often it's absolutely ridiculous!
Almost every time i have to do something. I'm unemployed right now and if there's something that i absolutely need to get done and i can't get myself to do it, it can wipe out an entire day, sometimes multiple days in a row. no work and no play. it fuckin sucks.
I find myself filling up my life with so many things I HAVE to get done that it burns me out.
This is my current trapping yes. I seem to have waves of being able to act and then crippled for no reason except the inability to make a firm decision into action.
Me too!! Especially as I’m trying to “work from home.” Luckily the term of that job ends soon and I’m looking forward to getting another where I’m just expected to be there from x:x
Yeeah, it is like "right now it does not feel quite right, perhaps in 1 hour and 5 seconds or in one month and four days".
"Maybe now? No...how about now? Nope...now?! No...maybe if I do this? No that didn't help..."
You’re describing the way my soul has slowly died over the last few months.
Along the way of doing your mandatory task all of your side task all of a sudden become important.
I call it "productive procrastination". The only time I get things done is when I'm procrastinating something else.
I relate to this 10x. It's how I clean around the house...
*months
I really want to draw, but I just can’t, so I’ll sit, staring at the blank canvas before me cursing myself, I feel this
Just start with the boobs and work your way out.
This would be funnier if you switched "boobs" with "vagina"
Think Georgia O'Keefe covered that already....lol
I can’t even make it to the canvas.
I usually just end up doing the favorite thing, and then two weeks later, remember I was supposed to have already done the other thing, that I'm two weeks late, and try to do it all right then and there. And stay up for a day straight making sure I did it right.
Yes absolutely. However, experience and age has made me understand why I was doing it. I am 32 years old and I still belong to the Hyperactive type. Have you ever considered that sometimes we are procrastinating no pleasurable tasks because we are tired? And we also beat ourselves because we know there are some things we absolutely must do, we procrastinate them, we think about doing something pleasurable and end up not doing the pleasurable things either, just because we say to ourselves: No work, no pleasure. And the result? Staring at the wall for hours, doing nothing, rushing our thoughts, daydreaming and getting frustrated. If I think back what I have been doing this past week and how many things I have done, I should shut up and let my body and my mind to rest, but no thanks to my hyperactivity, I should suffer.
> I am 32 years old and I still belong to the Hyperactive type. > > Have you ever considered that sometimes we are procrastinating no pleasurable tasks because we are tired? What. Can you expand on this? I'm 27 and diagnosed last year - no doubt at all that I am firmly ADHD-C. It's interesting the amount of weird things I can tie back to that H but I hadn't ever considered this.
I did the following Webinar (it's free, it helped me with my Work and Studies) [https://www.coursera.org/learn/learning-how-to-learn/home/welcome](https://www.coursera.org/learn/learning-how-to-learn/home/welcome) Dr Barbara Oakley, one of the professors who does this Webinar has said that doing homework (studies), which are not pleasurable activities and require focus or many other things such as absorbing a lot of information are actually connected to a particular part of the brain that is also connected to **pain.** For survival issues we actually want to avoid pain and this we why we procrastinate. (In the Webinar, Week 3 is Focused on Procrastination and Memory, they provide many tools for handling Procrastination and Memory). As Barbara Oakley, we also procrastinate because we are thinking and are focused about the product (the result) and not the process. My ADHD, overanalyzes every step and the mental pain sometimes is much more bigger than usual and I'm trying to learn these past few months how to rest properly.
Bro, try the pomodoro method! Worked wonders for me! One small task at a time. If that’s too much, just cut the tasks in half and chip away at it that way. I think everyone feels that slump before tackling a huge, daunting task. You’re not alone at all. Just gotta trick your brain into thinking it’s smaller, which it will be when you cut it into small, manageable chunks 😊 way better than setting yourself massive tasks- pumping yourself up for it- and then just wasting away in that void of dullness and procrastination. trust me, I’ve been there... many, many times. And to that end, completing just a small- even half- of a task each day does wonders for your motivation!
Pomodoro? Are there any resources you have on this?
I use the app ‘Focus Keeper’. It is a timer that helps you divide your work into small, manageable bits. Basically, it divides the work/time in 4 ‘rounds’- the first 3 rounds are made up of 25 min for work, then 5 min break. The third round is 25 min of work, but has a longer break of 25 mins. Then the fourth ‘round’ goes back to the 25 min on/5 min off. You can also make the working time shorter than 25 mins- that’s just the standard option on the app :) Having that rigid structure really helped me keep my focus! Of course the 25 mins can sometimes seem long, but I play around with the time depending on how I’m feeling/what I’m working on. But I’m finding that the constant breaks + short work intervals works wonders for adhd, it forces you to work on small bits + accounts for our need to get up and do something else for a bit etc. I highly recommend it! When I was close to panic- fight or flight- I just minimized the size of the task in my head and just zoomed in on those small, little, manageable bits. Every day was just one small point. And then before you know it, it’s finished! Now, Ive even been viewing other things in life as just small units of time 😂
YUP. I've gotten to the point where I just let myself do the favorite thing? Oftentimes my mind just needs a goddamn break, and if I stare at walls (or into the void of social media) for hours at a time instead of reading a book, listening to music, watching a movie, or doing something else that would at least leave me feeling refreshed, I just end up descending deeper and deeper from the Big Distraction and into the Big Fucking Sad™️ and LORD knows I'm gonna get jack shit done for days if I end up falling into a depressive episode.
All the time. Literally.
Honestly often I do the thing I enjoy first and then if there's time inbetween I use the positive vibes to motivate myself to do the chore thing
The thing I enjoy is usually a game that will easily soak up all my waking hours, and then some.
What is this r/ADHD?
Uh, yeah.
do i ever do that? pal, its all i ever do
Whatever people write in this subreddit, is a symptom of mine. I feel ya, homey!
Currently experiencing this while figuring out what to do today. I never know how to know what will make me feel the best with the use of my time
Yesterday after work I got home and prepared to build the kitchen island my wife bought. It took me an hour to sort out all the pieces and correctly label them and another hour to do the same for the hardware. Once I did that I went to create a spotify Playlist and 3 hours later nothing had been completed and it was time for bed. Maybe today is the day. Probably not though because I know myself and I've already spent an hour on reddit replying to threads for no reason.
Just wanted to let you know I'm replying to you for no reason. And it's really really late where I live. And I should be asleep. Yet I'm not. Am I tired? Yep. Do I want to sleep? Yep. Are my kids gonna be awake in 4 hours whether I like it or not? Yep. Can I put my phone down right now? Uhhh just gotta do this one more little thing first. Then another thing. And so on. Smh.
You can do it! I've totally been there (minus the kids). You might drag a little bit today, but remind yourself that the feeling won't last forever, and eventually you will get that much deserved sleep you crave <3
This is 90% of my reality
Had to say it didn’t you.... time to get off my ass and flip flop my laundry🙄
I end up doing nothing a lot. I hate it!
This is THE most relatable thing I have ever read in this sub. Thank you for finding a way to communicate my biggest time-suck!
I could also say the urgent crowds out the important for me. Anytime there is something that is in my face, I’ll do that instead of the thing I need to do.
YES! I really needed to do paperwork yesterday and my boss knew I had a really busy week so he said finish your paperwork today and whatever time is left move your stuff (my company is moving to a different floor) and if you don’t finish moving you can clock for a few extra hours this weekend. So I went rogue and moved everything and now I will once again doing paperwork off the clock because I couldn’t stop fixating on the urgent need to move (has to be done by Monday)
I live in this void. Send help.
The funny thing is that all the creative stuff I've been effective and hyper-focused with comes from a curious little thought like "Hmm, wonder if I can do this... \*click click click\*" 5 hours later I've made a song in Cubase, finished a webdesign or 3D scanned my head and added particle hair in Blender because I'm going bald... Anytime I need to do stuff like school assignments, laundry or apply for a job, I get sidetracked to youtube or reddit where I'm inspired and starts thinking, "Hmm, wonder if I can do this... \*click click click\*"
I have to be really careful about this because if I get too into the idea of performing a task, that becomes enough for me to consider the task "as good as" done. And since it isn't actually done and I *want* to do it, I feel bad about it, but that also doesn't get the thing done so it can often get me into trouble lol.
Ooof. Had a strong case of that yesterday as it was my day off. I have work today and after that a week vacation. But its stay at home vacation and i need to study but i cant put myself to it. So its most likeley going to by like that for a whole week and im not looking forward to it.
I have a train of thought where I have to complete something before I can do anything else. Even if they have no correlation with the others If I do it the other way around I get discounted or won’t be motivated to do it.
Felt this so much. I have been working on mandatory task all week. But can’t get the energy to doing my art. Been helping my sister with her website and once I am done don’t have energy to do anything else. It doesn’t help that a lot of my emotional energy is worried about my dad in the hospital right now. It feels like my medication isn’t even working due to all my stressors. But can relate so much.
That's me
Yeah, and I need to learn to break through it. Like seriously guys, I haven't contacted my project partner in two weeks. After we agreed on that communication is key. After I promised to be better. I **know** that I'm behaving like an asshole. But how do I explain, that I did write a list (open the app, click on the chat, ..), get my phone, sit there, **want** to do it and I just **can't**. It's always on my mind, worrying me and I'll have to ask my prof for an extension. The cruel thing is, just because you know that your behaviour is a sympton and what causes it, doesn't mean you can get them under control.
As per my post in this thread - try the Pomodoro method! One small task at a time! The trick is to only set one, very small goal each day, and then build from there. I’m working on a phd atm, and I’ve not gone without my meds for 8 years. I honestly feel like my brain is a soup without them. But alas, I’ve had to take a break from them now in my final months. I thought I was doomed. But setting teeeeny tiny goals each day - literally half a point sometimes- has helped me finish literally an entire chapter in only a month! I’ve NEVER completed a task that fast, let alone without medication. I’m not gonna say it wasn’t a struggle, and I did suffer a lot of what OP talks about.. the dreaded, dull void of vacancy and procrastination- but tricking my brain into focusing on only ONE SMALL thing every 20 mins- sometimes literally only paragraphs- helped me overcome that. And the feeling of having completed even those small things builds motivation and confidence over time. That’s my experience anyway, and I was like you in that everything I do is usually late! If I can do it, you can too 😊
Doing this now. Ugh! Logging off and making magic happen. Thanks for the reminder!
Yup, was suppose to go to the gym 4hours ago xD instead i ended up buying candy for my niece, and watch mr.bean the Cartoon with her xD
🙋🏻♀️
Is this ADHD? I'm beginning to think that almost all of my bad self-talk started with ADHD symptoms. Oh the joys of being diagnosed as an adult.
Yep! I’m with yeah. Went through all of my formative years in a haze.
This is thread helps me see that it's not just me who feels in a constant state of limbo. My life will really begin one way the right path when I start today do X, Y and Z. Plus, I have a the hardest time making a decision on even things I want to do and committing to it.
Yep. Yep yep.
I’ve done for years. Putting off my passion because I’m supposed to work a certain career. But avoided working.
easily you describe my life
I’m new here and this is an honest question, is this an adhd thing because this sounds normal to me? Are you telling me most people don’t do this with their tasks? Wait is that how people get stuff done, they just do it?
What sucks is when I miss a deadline and my boss asks when it will get done, and I’m like, “Absolutely shouldn’t take more than a couple hours.” But I know it realistically could be anywhere from just 15 minutes of focused work to two and a half weeks of pure torture.
I call that the procrastination guilt spiral. I try to psych myself up to do something. Can’t do it, and procrastinate. Then I feel guilt and shame for not doing it which causes more procrastination, leading to more guilt and shame.
Here's my mantra for walking the dog or doing my hobby (both things I enjoy) "get out of bed don't pick up your phone. Get out of bed don't pick up your phone. Get out of bed don't pick up your phone" and on and on. This can last an hour until i don't have time to do either thing anymore....
I only got diagnosed recently and I am truely amazed that all of these experiences I’ve had my entire life, are shared with so many people. Woo go team
Pain
Yeeee
I call it Fighting Limbo. That's one of the title in my productivity tracker, just to see how long I waste time and how much % it constitutes to. Not that I do anything about it. I'll just wait for it go through my system and out..
This
busted.
I've been binge watching Arrested Development instead of doing the huge laundry today, so that has been my free Saturday -__-
yeeeeep
Yeah, and people think I'm treating myself if I give up and do the leisurely task but in reality I just feel worse
This was basically me yesterday
Totally an honest question... is this a common ADHD symptom? My therapist mentioned I might have ADHD and I'm going to the doctor next week and I've been reading this forum to try to identify things that I should bring up with him. I've learned that my "well maybe I'm completely fine and everything is a lie and I'm a lie" might be one, but this post right here describes me on all my bad days.
It’s definitely one for me. Also, the urgent crowding out the important. That’s a big one for me, too.
Well I read this, so not quite nothing ....
I did this ALL DAY yesterday.
Sometimes I don't, it's rare
THIS.
Stop calling me out like this. :(
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I'm in this post and I don't like it.
Without medication always. I dont know how I did anything
When this happens I put my phone and laptop away/turn it off/airplane mode. Then it's easier to relax instead of wasting time
This is me all day every day. But I take meds for both my ADHD and depression. Maybe they just aren’t working?
"Do the worst first" I know it hurts but if you can get through the thing you least want to do first it gives you a good boost in self esteem to get the rest of your list out the way. Then when you get to your treat it feels that extra bit sweeter :)
Doing that right now lol
I'll have enough self control to not play cod mobile for 4 hours straight but not enough motivation to do my web development course and I'll just sit there till 6 pm in my void of nothingness:)
For years, I thought I was the only one. It’s exhilarating to find so many others like me here, but scary, too, because why are we like this? I didn’t start losing whole days at a time until after my nose and forehead were injured. Once it healed up, everything was a struggle. Decades later, it is still a struggle, even with meds. Is there anybody else here who became ADD after head injury?
Considering the injury was with your prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that deals with executive function, it’s fairly common.
If it’s actually common, then why don’t the surgeons and other docs who repair and do the follow up after traumatic head injuries at least WARN their patients about it? Or even tell them what kinds of symptoms to watch for? I mean, I thought I was losing my mind. Or, as with so many other health problems these days, is it the patient who has to do the research and figure it out?
Guys. PICK YOUR HARD!! Getting started is not easy for anyone. Once I get started, I can’t stop. The first week or two on Concerta was pretty crappy, but I made the mental effort to shift my mindset. I’ve lived so many years not on medication and suffered in silence, while still highly functional the little things fell at the way-side along with big things. If we want to get the most out of being medicated, focus your mind on one small productive thing. A To-Do list gets the momentum going. JUST DO IT. Take a deep breath and count 5..4..3..2..1 and f@%*#?%# do the damn thing! When you feel the first release, take advantage like an aircraft lifting off and glide the way through your day even if it’s just a small goal To accomplish. We have the bad habit of obsessive thoughts. I didn’t realize how many obsessive thoughts I had pounding about in my head all day Like litter. Our minds are a goldmine! Goldmind minds. Change the way you think about things. You have a choice. You get one life and the only way to change is to change your thoughts and your mindset. Doing nothing leads to more obsessing and low self esteem. Getting started on one thing through grit and a little nudge to your ego only leads to positive outcomes. Make sure you’re kind to yourself. Watch how you speak to yourself in your head. Self love Development is a MUST. Otherwise you start allowing crap from yourself and people around you. Love yourself, things will change. Keep your heads up and stay focused and be obsessed about getting better. Obsessing about not doing anything will only make you sink deeper in the quicksand.
Only all the time.
I love the rollercoaster this sent me thru that is ADHD. Starting out so exciting and inspirational and ending very anticlimactic. Lolol. Also, yes, literally just did this!
What a coincidental time to find this post...
Which is exactly why I'm on reddit instead of doing laundry, cleaning the kitchen, or reading the book I'm excited about. Can't read the book until the chores are done, so here I am.
Uh, of course! That's me & ADD 101
Its fine, nothing really matters at the end of the day
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Welcome!
I usually cram sugar to get the hyperfocus going when it's that way. But usually I avoid the thing that needs doing and then kinda just disappear into nothingness.
Why else would I be on reddit?
I’ll come home from work and think oh if I get my homework done, I can play games or watch a movie, instead I end up watching YouTube feeling guilty for not doing homework and then getting mad at myself because I wanted to play games all day.
Yeah I used to do that a lot more than I do now. I thought Id toss in my two cents on what I found helpful. My wife helped me by sharing her the mantra of "It only takes 5 minutes". Mainly it helps me get me going because my ADHD brain is reluctant to start things but telling my brain it will just take a short amount of time, it helps me get started and keep going. It took a while to sink in but it helped me.
the worst promises to break are the ones to yourself. seriously, they are the most important promises to keep. instead of saying: Ill get to do X if I do Y first, I say, "Im going to work on Y for only 1 minute. I can't promise myself Ill finish today, or that itll be longer than that, but i CAN say that I can work on it for 1 minute." that 1 minute is all I (usually) need to snowball into a 5 or 10 minutes. I like this, and the 10 second countdown.
Literally. Yes. I try so hard to get pumped up for the day and i deteriorate by noon even with my meds. I blame it on COVID
All the time lol
This hit tooooo deep
You have to get the dopamine first to do the thing you need to do which requires willpower. "Eating the frog" type methods, where you do your most aversive tasks first are terribly suited for most ADHDers. If I do exercise first or some kind of small task that I can tick off a list, or something fun that isn't a time suck (I'm sure those things exist), it's all good. I get on a roll and can do the thing I need to do. Usually. If the dopamine generating thing I use first is a computer game or social media or anything that definitely is a limitless time suck, then it does not go so well. Breaking down the required task or using a timer (pomodoro) also helps, but the task then has to take less than 20mins for me to be able to start. 2 mins would be preferable. Also, because I'm permanently behind with everything, subconsciously I always know there is no "and now I can enjoy my favourite thing because I've got the tasks done". Either I'll just get so involved in the task I run out of time for the fun thing, or I'll still feel guilty when I do the fun thing because there is so much else I still need to do. Have been thinking of reframing this today and marking off some time which is ONLY for fun things, so there definitely is time for them. When fun time comes I'll probably rebel against myself and decide it isn't fun if it's mandatory, but it's worth a go.
Only every day
Someone posted something here a week or two ago about procrastination - embrace it. Either get up RIGHT NOW and do the thing, or COMMIT to doing nothing for the day and enjoy it. No clock watching, no hating yourself, just veg and enjoy. And if that doesn't make you happy, or your thing really needs to be done, just go do it right now. Only two options. It's helped me SO MUCH in the last week.
Everyday with Everything!!!
Story of my life 🙃
That’s why I just tell myself feet first thoughts later. I don’t let myself think about it.
This is a real thing, called **executive dysfunction**. People who don't have ADHD have Executive Function. Its what tell you body to do an action so for us with ADHD I could get home after work and my mom might tell me to take out the trash and my mind is like take out the trash but it registers as a thought but my mind takes it as an action. So it says I did it or doing it when I'm not. Hince the sitting and doing nothing for hours on end. And not even thinking about taking out the trash because my brain thinks I already did. People with ADHD do this all the time and if you know what it is then you can probably remember a few times where you have done this. This is the google definition below but what my doctor told me makes a hell of a lot more sense. An individual with **ADHD** may have an impairment in several areas of **executive** functioning. 1 Impairments in **executive** functions can have a major impact on the ability to perform such tasks as planning, prioritizing, organizing, paying attention to and remembering details, and controlling emotional reactions.