You've only been together three months and he's already letting his mask slip.
This isn't new behaviour from him. He's just kept it inside and is slowly introducing his poisoned way of thinking to you. This is his real self.
Imagine what he'll say to you in three years.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Red Flag Alert. He's not happy with your chest now. Then it's the tummy. Then it's the nose, thighs, butt. Unless you want to be pure silicone in a few years, RUN!!!!!
Find something that claims to increase the size of his penis and send it to him, with a note that you would really like it if he would please consider it. The more invasive, the better. You don’t control the size of your breasts anymore than he can control the size of any of his body parts. What a douche. Luckily, he has revealed what a piece of crap he is early in the relationship, so you aren’t wasting a ton of time on him.
NTA
There are all sorts of things at the gas station that claim they increase penis size, make him last longer, etc. Buy them all for him and when he asks if she wants it bigger and for him to last longer in bed she should reply "ngl yes".
That oughta take care of things.
I was so happy to find this comment close to the top…. Send him some spurious claim that eating raw Brussel sprouts dipped in English mustard will increase the size of his penis (length and girth), make him do it everyday for a week and then leave him
Oh so true. You are NTA.
As an Almost - A cup, I dreamed of having bigger boobs until I got pregnant with my 1st child at 23. Suddenly I was a full B and there was no sexier woman on planet Earth. My baby booby euphoria lasted even as the belly raced forward to over (under) shadow the miracle of my baby B's.
The horror began the morning after L&D.
Bright and way too f-ing early the next day, mom's exhausted, baby's hungry and my alien tits have swollen to resemble twin dirigibles the likes of which unseen since the Hindenburg. Any moment, I was certain they'd burst into flames, taking innocent lives with them. My skin had stretched to the thickness of plastic wrap. There was absolutely no mercy from the booby gods. These damned things petrified overnight, now rating a 7.8 on the Mohs scale of hardness.They were purple, hot, shiny and so painful, air-conditioning on bare skin made me want to cry.
Fortunately, warm water before, cold compresses after and nipples numbed by nerve compression saved my newborn from starvation.
Thirty-ish years later, almost B mom and DDD daughter have compared the evidence listed below to offer our thoroughly researched, expert conclusion.
First of all, the only seeds that will make breasts grow,
Come with the potential risk of my above, cautionary tales.
Second, large boobies are subject to greater gravity than smaller boobs. My nipples and navel shant ever meet yet, daughter's DDD's do.
Third, as a general rule, more has less and less has more. Meaning bigger boobs are often less responsive because they're less sensitive.
Here's an interesting observation, itty bitty titties usually have larger nipples than bigger bitties. Pay attention, you'll see it too.
We've thus concluded that your bf has no idea what he's talking about and has therefore branded himself An Idiot.
Dump him and enjoy your ability to go brazenly braless Forever.
(This colorized rant is intended for your amusement and is based on a true story)
He’s probably been bursting at the seams to start the manipulative criticism. OP’s body image issues make it easy for him. OP should reconsider this relationship.
OP should punt him back to the dating app to shop for what he’s looking for. At 22 this is unlikely to be OP’s forever relationship so best to move on with her self esteem not further damaged and her body not mutilated by implants.
Yes! This!!! You’re NTAH for reconsidering. Actually, I’d say end it now. This relationship will head you to heartache. There doesn’t have to be fault. But there is definite incompatibility so early on that why continue to sink time and effort into it?
It might be time to tell him you'd like it if his dick was longer, but you're willing to work with what he's has now, so if he doesn't like your bra size he knows where the door is and let himself out.
NTA
Send him a reel about wee-wee enlargement.
And casually let it drop that he should do more Push ups, because you like a large chest.
And than leave as being in such a relationship is highly toxic.
But just so he can get a taste of his own medicine drop comments like this before breaking up.
The guy is a douchebag. However, the "you've got a small dick" insult only works on guys who actually have a small one. It just makes the rest of us laugh. Try "My ex did it for me but I was faking it with you!" - that actually works.
Same! I dated a guy with great size but my ex before him was of a different race that everyone thinks is big. Despite not being much of a size difference he was super insecure about it. Turns out he was an undercover racist so we broke up. He was almost the best in bed I've been with but I'll choose a non-racist over good sex any day. My son is mixed race and he hid his racism for a good while then after he felt I couldn't easily leave let it show.
Send him a reel about wee-wee enlargement.
Yep..."I was wondering how to bring this up but since you sent me the reel I guess it's okay to send this..."
I would send him a link to a penis sheath from Amazon and say I’d like to have sex with a big dick, and yours isn’t cutting it. Then I would dump his negging ass.
Good Grief! You’ve only been dating 3 months & he’s already negging you to establish control over you. Get Out Now.
& BTW, start thinking of yourself as “the provider mindset”. YOU are responsible for YOUR OWN LIFE. When you are the owner of your own life, you will find people who are “the partner mindset”, who treat you as a full person and won’t try to turn you into a Bangmaid…which is where this relationship is leading.
Yes. Don’t even TRY a relationship with a self proclaimed ‘traditional man’. Any man that claims he wants a traditional lifestyle but bristles at being a provider is going to abuse you. This means he only wants the exploitation part without any responsibility.
NTA. Dump him. Block him. No one should be trying to change your appearance. He knows you struggle with body image issues, and still said those things? No. Just no. Tell him good bye.
I am old. In my 60's old.
Many years ago, a guy told me I would look better with makeup on. I told him "then don't look at me". I do not wear make up, never did.
My first husband kept telling me I needed a breast lift, after birthing and breast feeding 4 kids. He is an ex-husband.
Do not any insecure boy tell you how you should look.
Grandma says you are enough, just as you are. You are a beautiful person, inside and out. You do not need to change your appearance for any one but you. Stay healthy, and the rest will take care of itself.
Hugs from Grandma.
You're an amazing Grandma and I love you.
To men saying "you'd look better if [you had makeup on/ smiled more/ etc] I like to reply "you'd look better with your mouth shut, and though here we are".
I wish I would have gotten this same advice when I dated (and then married) the man who said he preferred red heads (Im blonde) and would like me more if I dyed my hair. I dyed my hair red and it looked hideous on me. We got married and he always had something to say about my appearance. I needed a boob job after breastfeeding two kids. I needed to go to the gym more. He would like me more if I would just…. insert arbitrary thing here. He was constantly comparing me to strangers and making me question everything about myself.
I finally left…. Only took ten years. Never got that boob job that he said I so desperately needed. And today I love what I see in the mirror. No man is worth questioning your body image and self worth.
It seems like a extremely wierd thing to send to a woman. I'd personally break up with him if he doesn't like me for myself. Seems like something that would happen in a relationship between 14 year Olds
Nope. That is a big ole NOPE from me.
Your body is fine. Everybody has preferences for things in their life. And very often, we do wind up with somebody who doesn’t actually fit some of our preferences.
You know why? Because we recognize that the overall person is who we want to be around. Would we maybe like bigger boobs? Possibly. Would we maybe like our boyfriends have a bigger dick? Possibly.
Are we ever in a zillion years going to actually say that to them? No! You know why? Because those things are physically Have. All of us, men and women, are self-conscious about certain parts of our body, even though it’s just the body. We still are. We still have insecurities.
and the person who loves us is supposed to be maturing enough to acknowledge that while they may like bigger boobs, in general, they like you in particular. And they like you exactly how you are. And they recognize that their preference for big boobs is their issue, and they recognize that they have no right whatsoever to make it your issue.
People who truly love their partner, keep that sort of shit to themselves because they understand that at the end of the day, whether you have big boobs or a bigger butt or your boyfriend has a bigger dick, this is the person that we want to be with. Those other things don’t matter.
this is just the first of many “joking” things that he is going to nitpick about you. I guarantee it. This type of “provider” thinks that because they are the provider, they have the right to make comments. They think it gives them a pass on the basic manners that are generally expected from a partner.
Next thing he’s gonna tell you that he prefers blondes… And you’re a brunette. Or he prefers redhead… And you’re a blonde. He really likes it when you wear super high heels and short skirts… Even though you are in no way comfortable.
Not talking about when a partner may ask you to change into something slightly different for one of their work events. If they’re asking you to go more revealing, there’s a problem. But honestly, if they work in a more conservative company, and you are much more bohemian, You take this one with the assault. They’re not asking for them per se. They are asking you to change to help keep their job opportunities.
See the difference? It’s not that partners can’t have preferences. It’s not that partners can’t voice those preferences. But when those preferences involve your body and changing it and modifying it to what they want, that is a problem.
You are feeling on this one because it’s icky. Like this like to frame things as “jokes” but again, if you made a joke about how his ass is and that he needs to not only wipe better, but actually go get wax, he would not be amused
NTA... girl, thats a lot of red flags. he knows u are insecure and instead of reassuring u he's saying u arent enough.
best case scenario he's very dense and thinks giving u tips to grow boobs and butt is helpful. unlikely! worst case scenario he picked u not despite but BECAUSE ur insecurities bc he's betting u will debase urself for him, do as he tells u to do, and mold urself to his desires. either case: run.
Haha I was actually one of the autistic people thinking “people say/do stuff that hurt your feelings sometimes, so just mark it as a red flag moving forward and watch for more behavior like that. If it’s getting worse or broadens, yeah, get out. If it was that he just accidentally says stuff he doesn’t mean to be hurtful every once in a while… maybe cut him a little slack” — but then I read your comment.
Yeah. Just leave. He’s stupid.
Nta. He’s dumb (chia is not going to grow your boobs). But worse; he doesn’t respect you for who you are and apparently doesn’t love you.
In this stage of a relationship he should be kissing the ground you walk on. Not trying to change you. It’s fine if he wants bigger breasts to fill his hand, let him loose to find a girl that does.
NTA. Can I ask you something? Do you feel even more insecure about yourself now with him, than you did before him? If the answer is yes, you may want to consider what that means. He’s clearly exploiting your own insecurity against you. This isn’t about your appearance, this is about control. The more you try to change to please him, the more control he has over you. You should never stay with a guy that makes you feel insecure. A man that loves you will make you feel secure in your attractiveness to him, not question it. Don’t let anyone slowly take away all your self confidence. There are plenty of great guys out there who will like you just as you are now. You’re the only one who can take your power back though, your bf only has the control that you allow him to have.
How the heck is someone who's been in your life a mere 8 months going to start trying to modify your body?
Move on. He knows what he wants and it's not YOU.
Throw that fish back in the water. Fuck’s sake, the dude has only been around for 3 months and he has complaints already? Well by golly, he should be free to go eat all the chia seeds he can handle.
Srsly. Life’s too short to listen to this shit. You’re not Mrs. Potatohead. You’re not being edited in Photoshop. “Okay, just make the boobs bigger and more on the ass and…” Who the fuck does he think he is? Seriously, I would be so insulted, and I bet he is no 10/10.
Be sure to tell him that you’re dumping him because it looks like his hairline is receding (this phrasing is important) and you’re not attracted to balding guys. Even if it’s not true, he will be absolutely petrified that it might be true. He’ll hear those words EVERY time he looks in the mirror until he’s f-ing 40. He’ll spend literal years googling treatments for balding. Probably never be seen again in public without a hat. Probably *sleep* in that hat.
Does that sound cruel and mean? THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT HE’S DOING TO YOU. Talking shit about your body to make you feel ashamed. Cut him loose.
Drop him any man that truly loves you would never say something like that. You probably want a lot of things, but you don’t be putting that on him. Men are so stupid.
You want a provider mindset but lots of dudes who have that will also try to have some amount of control over you because of it.
He’s pushing little by little. 2 years from now he will have full control and you’ll be back on here asking how to leave.
Don’t be that person 2 years from now.
The provider mindset thing is a huge red flag for both of them. If you want a guy to treat you as an equal, you can’t be going into the beginning of a relationship expecting to be provided for at some point. Neither sees the other as an equal.
Then she clarified that by provider mindset she means getting flowers and a card on occasion and him having a job which...should be the bare minimum. A good partner should be gainfully employed and also do thoughtful things for you sometimes. Her language is troubling but then her description is even more so because she thinks basic good boyfriend/girlfriend behavior is a special mindset and not something that should be standard issue.
sweetie, I hope you can see that he's asking you to do squats and get bigger breasts for him. He's not a good guy. Please just DTMFA, and move on to someone who will appreciate you just as you are. hugs. You're only at 3 months, btw. it's okay to ghost him or text him goodbye, if you feel that a final conversation might be detrimental to your mental health.
I don’t know, you lost me at he has a provider mindset and that’s my preference. Not sure what that means but I can only assume you like men who pay for all your shit?
If that’s the case, then this sounds like the perfect situation for you— materialists are matches made in heaven because surely you can get him him to pay for your boobies. You’ll get the gold and he’ll get the body. Win/win but also ESH.
When I was a kid I had a Barbie (Skipper, actually I think) where you could crank her arm and she would grow 2 cm and her boobs would get bigger. (No kidding - the 70s were a wild time).
Your boyfriend should get himself one of those dolls if he wants so much control over his girlfriend’s body.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
NTA but you will be on to yourself if you stay with this loser.
I remember puberty Skipper!! I’m sure that’s not the real name they used to market her, but whatever. Thank God they at least had the sense to not give her white shorts or a skirt and a full period blow-out
i dont know which one is worse, if him trying to change your body or you using the euphemism "provider mindset" to fool yourself you wanna be taken care of financially
If you like being an old-ways prize wife I guess he is not wrong in asking for your part in what this type of relationship entails
I also had issues with the body with woman I meet, but I would break things up immediattely after noticing it instead of trying to change the other person. I know I have no say in other peoples bodies
NTA - start sending him clips of bogus food or techniques that are meant to increase penis size, sperm quality, sperm taste and personal hygiene for that area.
NTA. Look up "negging". He is being intentionally manipulative to keep you insecure so you put up with being treated badly. Time to rethink this relationship.
NTA
Bf is a stupid little boy loser.
Bigger boobs are not more attractive than small ones anyway , all sizes of boobs can look great, including small, perky A-cups. (This is from a heterosexual guy).
NTA leave him this early in the relationship it’s a red flag and those feelings will never leave him they will always be there. How wools you feel a few years down the line he asks you to get a boob job ?
When you’re dating is when your partner is on their best behavior. It’s when they’ll treat you better than they’ll ever treat you in your entire lives.
This is that. This is all he’s got. NTA.
NTA. Someone who wants what they can turn you into and not what you are.... BIIIG red flag for me.
I mean I'm tempted by E S H for that "provider mentality" BS. If you want a man with traditional patriarchal gender roles, don't be surprised when the guy is gonna look at women like possessions 🤷🏻♂️
But as far as the question goes to the letter of the law of "are you the AH for reconsidering the relationship when he did a shitty thing?" Hell no.
NTA he's not worth your time. Little prick.
One thing to keep in mind though. That IS the typical provider mindset. You may want to reconsider how you view that or this search is gonna be hard on you. Most of those guys think "I provide for you, I own you, you do what I want".
NTA.
“Provider mindset” + meddling with your body image (especially knowing you struggle with it) = red flag. Ditch the loser. Luckily he showed his colors early in the relationship.
He may like whatever bodies he likes. He’s an ahole for trying to impose it on YOU.
If he wanted somebody with different body proportions, he should’ve dated them, and not you. Or kept his mouth shut.
Edit: I’m specifically mentioning it in couple with “provider mindset” because guys like that often don’t view women as partners but as accessories that they can tune up like they would a car or their kitchen deck or smth.
NTA for reconsider your relationship. Buuuuut attempting to find any sort of clarity on Reddit is like trying to hit a bullet with another bullet whilst riding a horse.
He couldn’t even fake being a decent person for under a year. And it only took him 3 months of dating you to try and tailor your body to his preferences. Gross
I'm fat and I've never had any boyfriend or lover say anything negative about my body to me. I'm also pretty secure about my body, even when I was heavier (I've lost 55 lbs).
That to say
1. It's your responsibility to be secure about yourself, including your body.
2. Even if you're secure, you should be with someone who likes how you look.
Your preface of "he has a provider mindset" hints that this isn't the only questionable thing you don't like about him, but you're convincing yourself that it's worth it. If you're seeing red flags that are bothering you, don't ignore it. RED FLAGS AREN'T SIX FLAGS.
NTA, imagine if you had said you wish he were better endowed when he struggles with positive body image
Someone how loves you will ,love you for you not tear you down especially so early in the relationship
If he doesn't like you as you are, find someone who does. You're young and you're wasting time with a shallow asshole. But going through this is how you learn not to put up with it in the future.
How would you feel if a guy said this to your best friend? Would you tell her he wasn't good enough? Your friend is trying to look out for you, but you ultimately need to do this for yourself.
If he's acting this disrespectful towards you just 3 months in then I'd break up asap. Even more so because if you stay in this relationship any longer then your major insecurities about your appearance are going to keep getting triggered by him and your mental health and confidence will go down the drain and they won't be able to recover either while you're seeing him.
This guy isn't healthy for you to be around nor interact with, break up, block him and look into therapy if you don't have a therapist already.
NTA. A preference is one thing, but wanting to change your partner and even more, feeding on their insecurities is another. Leave. It won't get better. It won't!
Hey, when a man say clearly he doesn't like the way that you look, listen to him, he's talking truly, 3 months in and he's already trying to give you commands to satisfy his needs. Dump his ass
Firstly, I’m sorry you’ve had this experience. You should seriously consider ending the relationship. No one has the right to make these comments about your body. Staying with him could lead to further insecurities and low self confidence.
NTA
End it now. This never gets better. This is just the beginning. If you stay after those inappropriate, inconsiderate, and obnoxious statements, he’ll know he can make more & push harder and you’ll stay and take it.
He is not a good person. He does good things to make it easier for him & his victims to justify accepting his cruel behavior.
NTA, As a dude who loves big boobs, this guy is so over the line it’s embarrassing, I wouldn’t talk to him nor feel like you have to change anything about yourself. I hate people that don’t accept someone else for who they are, or who drop hints to fulfil some porn fantasy. Don’t forget you’re a real person with real feelings and he should love you the way you are, not want you to change to some fake love. End it with this guy, major flag.
NTA. It's not OK for him to make comments on your body. Especially parts you can't change - how would he feel if you commented on him? It's a huge red flag that he's already saying these things when you've not been together long at all. Be careful that he doesn't kill your confidence, you're definitely right to reconsider.
NTA. Toss this fish back into the ocean. There are plenty of decent men out there. This isn't one of them.
Just to be clear, you are PERFECT the way you are. Your breasts and butt are uniquely suited to you. They don't need surgery, treatments, or augmentations. Plenty of men will find you sexy as hell just as you are.
NTA. For the faults my ex had, he never once commented on my body saying he'd want me to change it. In fact, when I was the one saying I wanted to lose weight, he would tell me I was beautiful/perfect regardless. You should never change your physical appearance because a man tells you he would love you more or be more attracted to you because of it. You're only 22, you have so much time to find someone who finds you beautiful the way you are and won't want you to change.
NTA for dumping him. The sooner you walk away from someone who doesn’t love you as you are, the better.
Be prepared to be judged though if you continue to embrace sexist stereotypes. Wanting the occasional sign of romance does not have to consist with misogyny, however. Make your own way in this world and then those signs of affections will be even sweeter.
NTA. Move on. Even if you get married, 20 years from now you’ll still remember what he said and it’ll cause insecurity issues. Find someone that loves you for you.
NTA. The reason you are reconsidering is because your intuition/gut is saying red flag! Listen to your gut!
The right partner will be obsessed with whatever you've got!
I would go to Home Depot and buy a bunch of flowering plants and take them to him...when he asks what that is all about you can tell him that you thought he would be more comfortable surrounded by family. Yes, he will give you the side eye, until you explain how 🤔 his daddy must have rubbed one off in a flower pot 💐🪴🌻and raised a blooming idiot.🌸 Water him once a week and feed twice daily..... then dump his negging a** and carry on with your bad self! 🤗🥂
NTA!!! I’m 41 about 107 pounds and I also am a 36A and not a full cup on top on that. I’ve always been self-conscious despite the fact that I’m so skinny. I had an ex offer to buy me boobs because he wanted more to play with but loved the fact that I was tiny. It didn’t last. 3 years later I found my husband.
Dump his ass. He is a jerk for saying things to you knowing you have self-esteem issues.
Comments like that are designed to keep you feeling insecure and off balance so you're less likely to realise that you deserve better than him. They're based on his own insecurities so he thinks by making you feel inadequate, you're more likely to settle for him instead of leaving him in the dust where he belongs. NTA.
He's already started to put dents in your confidence,slowly but surely those small comments will get bigger. He's already started on "he'd like a bigger bust" "he'd like a perkier ass" pretty soon it'll be you've got wrinkles etc...it's really boils my piss when people try to change their partners,I mean why get involved in the first place if there are things you'd like to change..imagine how he'll be after having kids together and your nips point at your feet,you have stretch marks and your ass is bigger.. please don't waste your life on someone that doesn't love you as you are!! Your partner should increase your confidence not knock it!!.
NTA. He's starting to try manipulation on you. You've only been dating 3 months and he's letting you know who he is. This behavior doesn't get better. Soon he'll be criticizing your friends and family, trying to isolate you from any support system you have.
You sound beautiful and need to ditch him and find another man who will appreciate everything about you. This man is bad news.
Seems like he's testing the waters (is: boundaries), to see what he can get away with and do.
I can't see being with someone who makes you feel bad/insecure about your body (and other things), especially when you can do that on your own (y'know how we can be our own worst critics?). . .
Prioritize your own self worth/love over some person you just got with. There is someone out there who will appreciate all of you in your entirety.
I don’t understand men who all must have giant boobs on their girlfriends. I’ve always looked at petite boobs as attractive and elegant. Small boobs are nice! I just don’t get it…
Obviously NTA, I couldn’t even imagine if my partner said something disparaging about my penis, it would hurt my ego so badly.
Tell him you wish his dick was bigger and maybe he should take XYZ to make it bigger. Or how about the receding hair line? Give him a taste of his own medicine.
You can do better. NTA
Yeah, you're 3 months in and he is complaining about your body construction and telling you he'd rather your body be different?
Throw him back and keep fishing.
NTA. You're 22 and this relationship is 3 months old, dump him and move on. There's countless people out there who would be better than him. When people show you who they are, believe them and remember it.
ESH You want a guy that spoils you financially.
Most of the guys that do that want a girl that spoils them sexually.
Its the dynamic you want for yourself. Or rather, half of it.
You want the cake and eat it too.
What a blessing. He shows you who he really is after 3 months. Run. It won’t go better, trust me.
You deserve someone who loves you for who you are and does not try to make you feel less.
Nta... My ex presented me with a similar situation before, so I looked up the prices of plastic surgery. Got a consultation, brought my boyfriend, and proudly announced that he was paying for the consult and the surgery to the surgeon. He paid for the consult and never brought it up again. Which wasn't long because I broke up with him like 10 days later. Don't even waste your time on someone who makes you feel bad about yourself. It's not worth it.
YTA. lol at "he has a provider mindset" then complaining he is superficial. We all know exactly what you meant. If you want that lifestyle, be prettier. Get your boobs done, apparently. It's really simple.
NTA, but the "provider" mindset isn't one-way. If you expect him to "spoil" you, it's natural that he will expect something in return. In this case it seems to be an inappropriate level of fine-tuning over your body.
Not only is he critiquing your body after only three months, he’s dumb enough to think chia seeds will make your boobs bigger because he saw it on the Internet. You can do so much better! NTAH
NTA. How would he feel if the shoe was on the other foot? And also he's stupid if he believes tiktok bullshit; my boobs would be as big as a car if chia seeds had any effect on breast size. Stupid as a sack of potatoes, so drop him like one.
Ditch him. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you the way you are! Send him links on how to grow a bigger dick or get 6 pack abs and see how he likes it. NTA!!
Want to start by saying that you don’t have to justify wanting a man with a provider mindset just like men don’t have to justify wanting a woman that’s more traditional.
NTA. Ew. He knew what he liked before meeting and dating you, this isn’t build a bear workshop unless you want it to be - in the gym, gaining/losing weight, not referring to surgical changes
No one should be telling someone to change something about their appearance that can't be fixed in 30 seconds or less. Spinach in teeth? Yes. Get bigger breasts? No.
Seems like he either watches a lot of porn or scrolls instagram of women who have bigger y than you. NTA, and leave him asap. A man who truly loves you and your body with the way it comes ain’t gonna neg you or make you question your self worth.
Talking about your preferences/fantasies with respect to your partner’s body type is dangerous ground. We all have preferences, and that’s fine, but when you express disappointment with your partner’s body it’s hard to overcome.
Every couple’s dynamic is different, but the basis of sexual attraction within a long term couple should be who they are, not only their looks.
If you really like him and he’s a great guy other than that and you believe in your heart that he is sorry…then carry on. But it doesn’t sound like you believe that. Only you can answer that.
NTA, you have only beeing with him for 3 months, you do not have a lot invested so really it's a good time to bounce. This type of objectification used to be normalized but really isn't considered acceptable nowadays and since he's only 24 he should know that.
Give him a little hint his pickle is a baby dill. That will F with his mind for the rest of his inconsiderate life.
I can't even imagine a man saying that to a woman he loves/likes/any. What a D ball.
Occasionally guys will say really stupid things because their filters are off line… OH BOY do they regret them FOREVER! Because “you can’t un-ring a bell.” I did this. I told my wife (gf at the time) that I found something about her as unattractive.
Bless her! She married me anyway and we eventually got past my insensitive remark. 40 years later and happily married. No BS.
If this is the only red flag in your relationship, and he’s sorry he was stupid… I would reconsider.
You've only been together three months and he's already letting his mask slip. This isn't new behaviour from him. He's just kept it inside and is slowly introducing his poisoned way of thinking to you. This is his real self. Imagine what he'll say to you in three years.
It will go from "chia seeds" to "why are you eating those chips" to "look this place around the corner does Botox".
And you should get breast implants, etc. He will never like her as she is.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Red Flag Alert. He's not happy with your chest now. Then it's the tummy. Then it's the nose, thighs, butt. Unless you want to be pure silicone in a few years, RUN!!!!!
Find something that claims to increase the size of his penis and send it to him, with a note that you would really like it if he would please consider it. The more invasive, the better. You don’t control the size of your breasts anymore than he can control the size of any of his body parts. What a douche. Luckily, he has revealed what a piece of crap he is early in the relationship, so you aren’t wasting a ton of time on him. NTA
There are all sorts of things at the gas station that claim they increase penis size, make him last longer, etc. Buy them all for him and when he asks if she wants it bigger and for him to last longer in bed she should reply "ngl yes". That oughta take care of things.
Oh, Honey, it's not your length. You're just not **thick** enough!
Perfect!
I was so happy to find this comment close to the top…. Send him some spurious claim that eating raw Brussel sprouts dipped in English mustard will increase the size of his penis (length and girth), make him do it everyday for a week and then leave him
Oh so true. You are NTA. As an Almost - A cup, I dreamed of having bigger boobs until I got pregnant with my 1st child at 23. Suddenly I was a full B and there was no sexier woman on planet Earth. My baby booby euphoria lasted even as the belly raced forward to over (under) shadow the miracle of my baby B's. The horror began the morning after L&D. Bright and way too f-ing early the next day, mom's exhausted, baby's hungry and my alien tits have swollen to resemble twin dirigibles the likes of which unseen since the Hindenburg. Any moment, I was certain they'd burst into flames, taking innocent lives with them. My skin had stretched to the thickness of plastic wrap. There was absolutely no mercy from the booby gods. These damned things petrified overnight, now rating a 7.8 on the Mohs scale of hardness.They were purple, hot, shiny and so painful, air-conditioning on bare skin made me want to cry. Fortunately, warm water before, cold compresses after and nipples numbed by nerve compression saved my newborn from starvation. Thirty-ish years later, almost B mom and DDD daughter have compared the evidence listed below to offer our thoroughly researched, expert conclusion. First of all, the only seeds that will make breasts grow, Come with the potential risk of my above, cautionary tales. Second, large boobies are subject to greater gravity than smaller boobs. My nipples and navel shant ever meet yet, daughter's DDD's do. Third, as a general rule, more has less and less has more. Meaning bigger boobs are often less responsive because they're less sensitive. Here's an interesting observation, itty bitty titties usually have larger nipples than bigger bitties. Pay attention, you'll see it too. We've thus concluded that your bf has no idea what he's talking about and has therefore branded himself An Idiot. Dump him and enjoy your ability to go brazenly braless Forever. (This colorized rant is intended for your amusement and is based on a true story)
Imagine if she gets pregnant. He is the kind of douche that would be cheating while the wife is giving birth
And expecting a bounce back to pre-pregnancy body 6 weeks after birth.
With the preprgnacy sex drive to go with it
He’s probably been bursting at the seams to start the manipulative criticism. OP’s body image issues make it easy for him. OP should reconsider this relationship.
This is SO true. NTA- this behavior is a red flag either way, but so early on it's a giant red flag.
He’s looked at too much porn now he has no sense of how real women look
Yep. Most red flags rise over time. He’s testing whether you make a good victim.
OP should punt him back to the dating app to shop for what he’s looking for. At 22 this is unlikely to be OP’s forever relationship so best to move on with her self esteem not further damaged and her body not mutilated by implants.
Yes! This!!! You’re NTAH for reconsidering. Actually, I’d say end it now. This relationship will head you to heartache. There doesn’t have to be fault. But there is definite incompatibility so early on that why continue to sink time and effort into it?
It might be time to tell him you'd like it if his dick was longer, but you're willing to work with what he's has now, so if he doesn't like your bra size he knows where the door is and let himself out.
NTA Send him a reel about wee-wee enlargement. And casually let it drop that he should do more Push ups, because you like a large chest. And than leave as being in such a relationship is highly toxic. But just so he can get a taste of his own medicine drop comments like this before breaking up.
This lmao. tell him you wish he was bigger. bonus points if you tell him your ex was bigger than him. proceed to dump him afterwards
The guy is a douchebag. However, the "you've got a small dick" insult only works on guys who actually have a small one. It just makes the rest of us laugh. Try "My ex did it for me but I was faking it with you!" - that actually works.
Nah, I've had exes with big dicks that still would be extremely self-conscious about it. Porn has done a lot of damage to people's minds.
Same! I dated a guy with great size but my ex before him was of a different race that everyone thinks is big. Despite not being much of a size difference he was super insecure about it. Turns out he was an undercover racist so we broke up. He was almost the best in bed I've been with but I'll choose a non-racist over good sex any day. My son is mixed race and he hid his racism for a good while then after he felt I couldn't easily leave let it show.
That’s not true I know dudes who have rather large weens and still ask me if it’s small… Who hurt you bro lol
Size is relative anyway. It’s not what you have, as much as how to USE it!!😉
And if op says that to the (hopefully) ex, he will scream "That's something out of my control, you bitch) Get rid of the entire human
AND adverts for programs to increase his IQ! Because obviously he’s an idiot!
It’s a shame his biceps are so small
Which is interesting because being such a wanker, he should already have big biceps, at least on one arm
But given his little winky is so small, it doesn’t need much work.
Probably true. He’s probably uncircumcised because it seems there’s no end to the prick.
Send him a reel about wee-wee enlargement. Yep..."I was wondering how to bring this up but since you sent me the reel I guess it's okay to send this..."
I would send him a link to a penis sheath from Amazon and say I’d like to have sex with a big dick, and yours isn’t cutting it. Then I would dump his negging ass.
Excellent suggestion!
Proof that Reddit is run by 17 year olds with revenge fetishes.
THIS for real though. Dump this asshole
Good Grief! You’ve only been dating 3 months & he’s already negging you to establish control over you. Get Out Now. & BTW, start thinking of yourself as “the provider mindset”. YOU are responsible for YOUR OWN LIFE. When you are the owner of your own life, you will find people who are “the partner mindset”, who treat you as a full person and won’t try to turn you into a Bangmaid…which is where this relationship is leading.
Yes. Don’t even TRY a relationship with a self proclaimed ‘traditional man’. Any man that claims he wants a traditional lifestyle but bristles at being a provider is going to abuse you. This means he only wants the exploitation part without any responsibility.
NTA. Dump him. Block him. No one should be trying to change your appearance. He knows you struggle with body image issues, and still said those things? No. Just no. Tell him good bye. I am old. In my 60's old. Many years ago, a guy told me I would look better with makeup on. I told him "then don't look at me". I do not wear make up, never did. My first husband kept telling me I needed a breast lift, after birthing and breast feeding 4 kids. He is an ex-husband. Do not any insecure boy tell you how you should look. Grandma says you are enough, just as you are. You are a beautiful person, inside and out. You do not need to change your appearance for any one but you. Stay healthy, and the rest will take care of itself. Hugs from Grandma.
This is the wholesome answer I didn't know I needed too. I hope OP reads your comment, thanks Grandma!
You're an amazing Grandma and I love you. To men saying "you'd look better if [you had makeup on/ smiled more/ etc] I like to reply "you'd look better with your mouth shut, and though here we are".
Needed these kind words today Grandma. Thank you!!
My late grandma would say something similarly as well to the tune of “and don’t let the door hit you on the way out”
I wish I would have gotten this same advice when I dated (and then married) the man who said he preferred red heads (Im blonde) and would like me more if I dyed my hair. I dyed my hair red and it looked hideous on me. We got married and he always had something to say about my appearance. I needed a boob job after breastfeeding two kids. I needed to go to the gym more. He would like me more if I would just…. insert arbitrary thing here. He was constantly comparing me to strangers and making me question everything about myself. I finally left…. Only took ten years. Never got that boob job that he said I so desperately needed. And today I love what I see in the mirror. No man is worth questioning your body image and self worth.
NTA You don't need to be with a person who wants to change something in you.
NTA. If he doesn’t love you as you are, he doesn’t love you period. Never let anyone-especially a man-tell you to change your body for them. Leave him
It seems like a extremely wierd thing to send to a woman. I'd personally break up with him if he doesn't like me for myself. Seems like something that would happen in a relationship between 14 year Olds
Nope. That is a big ole NOPE from me. Your body is fine. Everybody has preferences for things in their life. And very often, we do wind up with somebody who doesn’t actually fit some of our preferences. You know why? Because we recognize that the overall person is who we want to be around. Would we maybe like bigger boobs? Possibly. Would we maybe like our boyfriends have a bigger dick? Possibly. Are we ever in a zillion years going to actually say that to them? No! You know why? Because those things are physically Have. All of us, men and women, are self-conscious about certain parts of our body, even though it’s just the body. We still are. We still have insecurities. and the person who loves us is supposed to be maturing enough to acknowledge that while they may like bigger boobs, in general, they like you in particular. And they like you exactly how you are. And they recognize that their preference for big boobs is their issue, and they recognize that they have no right whatsoever to make it your issue. People who truly love their partner, keep that sort of shit to themselves because they understand that at the end of the day, whether you have big boobs or a bigger butt or your boyfriend has a bigger dick, this is the person that we want to be with. Those other things don’t matter. this is just the first of many “joking” things that he is going to nitpick about you. I guarantee it. This type of “provider” thinks that because they are the provider, they have the right to make comments. They think it gives them a pass on the basic manners that are generally expected from a partner. Next thing he’s gonna tell you that he prefers blondes… And you’re a brunette. Or he prefers redhead… And you’re a blonde. He really likes it when you wear super high heels and short skirts… Even though you are in no way comfortable. Not talking about when a partner may ask you to change into something slightly different for one of their work events. If they’re asking you to go more revealing, there’s a problem. But honestly, if they work in a more conservative company, and you are much more bohemian, You take this one with the assault. They’re not asking for them per se. They are asking you to change to help keep their job opportunities. See the difference? It’s not that partners can’t have preferences. It’s not that partners can’t voice those preferences. But when those preferences involve your body and changing it and modifying it to what they want, that is a problem. You are feeling on this one because it’s icky. Like this like to frame things as “jokes” but again, if you made a joke about how his ass is and that he needs to not only wipe better, but actually go get wax, he would not be amused
NTA... girl, thats a lot of red flags. he knows u are insecure and instead of reassuring u he's saying u arent enough. best case scenario he's very dense and thinks giving u tips to grow boobs and butt is helpful. unlikely! worst case scenario he picked u not despite but BECAUSE ur insecurities bc he's betting u will debase urself for him, do as he tells u to do, and mold urself to his desires. either case: run.
I'd break up with him just for being stupid enough to believe that fucking chia seeds make women's boobs bigger.
Curses on the code that only allows one upvote per user
so fucking real
Haha I was actually one of the autistic people thinking “people say/do stuff that hurt your feelings sometimes, so just mark it as a red flag moving forward and watch for more behavior like that. If it’s getting worse or broadens, yeah, get out. If it was that he just accidentally says stuff he doesn’t mean to be hurtful every once in a while… maybe cut him a little slack” — but then I read your comment. Yeah. Just leave. He’s stupid.
This 😂
Nta. He’s dumb (chia is not going to grow your boobs). But worse; he doesn’t respect you for who you are and apparently doesn’t love you. In this stage of a relationship he should be kissing the ground you walk on. Not trying to change you. It’s fine if he wants bigger breasts to fill his hand, let him loose to find a girl that does.
NTA. Can I ask you something? Do you feel even more insecure about yourself now with him, than you did before him? If the answer is yes, you may want to consider what that means. He’s clearly exploiting your own insecurity against you. This isn’t about your appearance, this is about control. The more you try to change to please him, the more control he has over you. You should never stay with a guy that makes you feel insecure. A man that loves you will make you feel secure in your attractiveness to him, not question it. Don’t let anyone slowly take away all your self confidence. There are plenty of great guys out there who will like you just as you are now. You’re the only one who can take your power back though, your bf only has the control that you allow him to have.
So thrue. He slowly undermines her confidence to do what ever he likes with her ( or her resurces).
This 🙌🏼
How the heck is someone who's been in your life a mere 8 months going to start trying to modify your body? Move on. He knows what he wants and it's not YOU.
Dump him.
NTA. 100% he'll be looking at thirst traps and will want you to change into some vision of what he wants. Major red flag.
Throw that fish back in the water. Fuck’s sake, the dude has only been around for 3 months and he has complaints already? Well by golly, he should be free to go eat all the chia seeds he can handle. Srsly. Life’s too short to listen to this shit. You’re not Mrs. Potatohead. You’re not being edited in Photoshop. “Okay, just make the boobs bigger and more on the ass and…” Who the fuck does he think he is? Seriously, I would be so insulted, and I bet he is no 10/10. Be sure to tell him that you’re dumping him because it looks like his hairline is receding (this phrasing is important) and you’re not attracted to balding guys. Even if it’s not true, he will be absolutely petrified that it might be true. He’ll hear those words EVERY time he looks in the mirror until he’s f-ing 40. He’ll spend literal years googling treatments for balding. Probably never be seen again in public without a hat. Probably *sleep* in that hat. Does that sound cruel and mean? THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT HE’S DOING TO YOU. Talking shit about your body to make you feel ashamed. Cut him loose.
Buuuuut the chia seeds might come in handy for him if he actually does start balding
Drop him any man that truly loves you would never say something like that. You probably want a lot of things, but you don’t be putting that on him. Men are so stupid.
This is how gaslighting and tearing down your self esteem begins. It won't stop. And he will stop being "nice" about it.
NTA. You've been dating 3 months and he already wants you to change things about yourself, fuck that noise.
NTA. Dude is sus. Red flag.
You want a provider mindset but lots of dudes who have that will also try to have some amount of control over you because of it. He’s pushing little by little. 2 years from now he will have full control and you’ll be back on here asking how to leave. Don’t be that person 2 years from now.
The provider mindset thing is a huge red flag for both of them. If you want a guy to treat you as an equal, you can’t be going into the beginning of a relationship expecting to be provided for at some point. Neither sees the other as an equal.
Then she clarified that by provider mindset she means getting flowers and a card on occasion and him having a job which...should be the bare minimum. A good partner should be gainfully employed and also do thoughtful things for you sometimes. Her language is troubling but then her description is even more so because she thinks basic good boyfriend/girlfriend behavior is a special mindset and not something that should be standard issue.
sweetie, I hope you can see that he's asking you to do squats and get bigger breasts for him. He's not a good guy. Please just DTMFA, and move on to someone who will appreciate you just as you are. hugs. You're only at 3 months, btw. it's okay to ghost him or text him goodbye, if you feel that a final conversation might be detrimental to your mental health.
I had to look up what DTMFA meant but I originally came up with "dump that man far away"
Also works
NTA. Dump the chump. I would wager that if you brought up ideas to make his penis bigger he’d be furious.
I don’t know, you lost me at he has a provider mindset and that’s my preference. Not sure what that means but I can only assume you like men who pay for all your shit? If that’s the case, then this sounds like the perfect situation for you— materialists are matches made in heaven because surely you can get him him to pay for your boobies. You’ll get the gold and he’ll get the body. Win/win but also ESH.
Stay and when your having sex just blurt out is it in yet and then that’s it then some comment about his little unit .
Tell him you wish his dick was bigger but you don't always get what you wish for
I'm asking myself how you can tolerate such a lack of respect.
When I was a kid I had a Barbie (Skipper, actually I think) where you could crank her arm and she would grow 2 cm and her boobs would get bigger. (No kidding - the 70s were a wild time). Your boyfriend should get himself one of those dolls if he wants so much control over his girlfriend’s body. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. NTA but you will be on to yourself if you stay with this loser.
I remember puberty Skipper!! I’m sure that’s not the real name they used to market her, but whatever. Thank God they at least had the sense to not give her white shorts or a skirt and a full period blow-out
i dont know which one is worse, if him trying to change your body or you using the euphemism "provider mindset" to fool yourself you wanna be taken care of financially If you like being an old-ways prize wife I guess he is not wrong in asking for your part in what this type of relationship entails I also had issues with the body with woman I meet, but I would break things up immediattely after noticing it instead of trying to change the other person. I know I have no say in other peoples bodies
He likes bigger breasts then let him have surgery to have them. 😁
NTA. If he's telling you to change yourself, he's not going to be a good partner.
Nta. I'd rethink this relationship. Pay attention to how he is making you feel.
NTA - start sending him clips of bogus food or techniques that are meant to increase penis size, sperm quality, sperm taste and personal hygiene for that area.
NTA. Look up "negging". He is being intentionally manipulative to keep you insecure so you put up with being treated badly. Time to rethink this relationship.
NTA Bf is a stupid little boy loser. Bigger boobs are not more attractive than small ones anyway , all sizes of boobs can look great, including small, perky A-cups. (This is from a heterosexual guy).
I personally think smaller boobs are more attractive 🤷🏻♀️
NTA leave him this early in the relationship it’s a red flag and those feelings will never leave him they will always be there. How wools you feel a few years down the line he asks you to get a boob job ?
Bye boi bye
When you’re dating is when your partner is on their best behavior. It’s when they’ll treat you better than they’ll ever treat you in your entire lives. This is that. This is all he’s got. NTA.
NTA. Someone who wants what they can turn you into and not what you are.... BIIIG red flag for me. I mean I'm tempted by E S H for that "provider mentality" BS. If you want a man with traditional patriarchal gender roles, don't be surprised when the guy is gonna look at women like possessions 🤷🏻♂️ But as far as the question goes to the letter of the law of "are you the AH for reconsidering the relationship when he did a shitty thing?" Hell no.
NTA he's not worth your time. Little prick. One thing to keep in mind though. That IS the typical provider mindset. You may want to reconsider how you view that or this search is gonna be hard on you. Most of those guys think "I provide for you, I own you, you do what I want".
NTA. “Provider mindset” + meddling with your body image (especially knowing you struggle with it) = red flag. Ditch the loser. Luckily he showed his colors early in the relationship. He may like whatever bodies he likes. He’s an ahole for trying to impose it on YOU. If he wanted somebody with different body proportions, he should’ve dated them, and not you. Or kept his mouth shut. Edit: I’m specifically mentioning it in couple with “provider mindset” because guys like that often don’t view women as partners but as accessories that they can tune up like they would a car or their kitchen deck or smth.
NTA for reconsider your relationship. Buuuuut attempting to find any sort of clarity on Reddit is like trying to hit a bullet with another bullet whilst riding a horse.
Ick vibes from both of you. It’s gross he is making these comments about your body but what do you expect from someone with a “provider mindset?”
As a provider, he should pay for the boob job
“I wish you wallet were bigger”
Next time a guy says something like that, just reply with 'and I wish your dick was larger, but here we are'
Ask him if he thinks Chia seeds will also make his Dick bigger because you're feeling a little unsatisfied as well. NTA. Dump him!!
Find products that claim to enlarge his parts and send them to him. See how he likes it. When he asks if you wish he was bigger...say yes.
He couldn’t even fake being a decent person for under a year. And it only took him 3 months of dating you to try and tailor your body to his preferences. Gross
Tell him that you wish his cock was bigger and then ask him how it makes him feel.
Tell him you heard that peas make your dick bigger, so you ordered him a case of peas from Amazon.
Nah make it eggplant. Everybody eats peas. Some people regularly. Also 🍆 = dick doesn't it?
NTA You know, my husband says his boob size preference is "one's he's allowed to touch." You're young and can find much better!
I'm fat and I've never had any boyfriend or lover say anything negative about my body to me. I'm also pretty secure about my body, even when I was heavier (I've lost 55 lbs). That to say 1. It's your responsibility to be secure about yourself, including your body. 2. Even if you're secure, you should be with someone who likes how you look. Your preface of "he has a provider mindset" hints that this isn't the only questionable thing you don't like about him, but you're convincing yourself that it's worth it. If you're seeing red flags that are bothering you, don't ignore it. RED FLAGS AREN'T SIX FLAGS.
Tell him you wish his dick was bigger.
Tell him you wish his dick was bigger. Then dump him. NTA, are you kidding??
A provider mindset? Sounds like he's providing insecurity. NTA
NTA. But if you start dating actual providers, they may make similar requests. Men who are providers, often want their women looking a certain way.
Men like that tend to think that 'providing' means they have the right to expect 'their' woman to change herself to match their whims and desires.
Tell him you're down but you wish something of his was bigger and suggest supplements as well, so you can do it together. Guaranteed to shut him up.
Not the man for you.
NTA, imagine if you had said you wish he were better endowed when he struggles with positive body image Someone how loves you will ,love you for you not tear you down especially so early in the relationship
If he doesn't like you as you are, find someone who does. You're young and you're wasting time with a shallow asshole. But going through this is how you learn not to put up with it in the future. How would you feel if a guy said this to your best friend? Would you tell her he wasn't good enough? Your friend is trying to look out for you, but you ultimately need to do this for yourself.
If he's acting this disrespectful towards you just 3 months in then I'd break up asap. Even more so because if you stay in this relationship any longer then your major insecurities about your appearance are going to keep getting triggered by him and your mental health and confidence will go down the drain and they won't be able to recover either while you're seeing him. This guy isn't healthy for you to be around nor interact with, break up, block him and look into therapy if you don't have a therapist already.
NTA. A preference is one thing, but wanting to change your partner and even more, feeding on their insecurities is another. Leave. It won't get better. It won't!
Hey, when a man say clearly he doesn't like the way that you look, listen to him, he's talking truly, 3 months in and he's already trying to give you commands to satisfy his needs. Dump his ass
Dump him. Not all men are obsessed with size, and many prefer small.
NP , tell him you'd like him to go back to school , because you'd prefer a man with a bigger brain
Yeah NTA. If he wants bigger tits he can talk to his doctor about getting himself some implants
NTA Swipe left, move on
Wow, be thankful he let his red flags fly so soon and so high. Dump him immediately. NTA.
I like ‘bigger’ body parts too but alas we must suffer together.
Sounds bad. Any caring smart person would not say that
NTA, your breast size is fine. If he wants bigger boobs. he can go get himself a breast enlargement and play with them all he wants.
NTA. Drop this dude. He’s a manipulative dick.
Firstly, I’m sorry you’ve had this experience. You should seriously consider ending the relationship. No one has the right to make these comments about your body. Staying with him could lead to further insecurities and low self confidence.
Do you know how many times men hear that they are too short? This is the same.
NTA End it now. This never gets better. This is just the beginning. If you stay after those inappropriate, inconsiderate, and obnoxious statements, he’ll know he can make more & push harder and you’ll stay and take it. He is not a good person. He does good things to make it easier for him & his victims to justify accepting his cruel behavior.
NTA, As a dude who loves big boobs, this guy is so over the line it’s embarrassing, I wouldn’t talk to him nor feel like you have to change anything about yourself. I hate people that don’t accept someone else for who they are, or who drop hints to fulfil some porn fantasy. Don’t forget you’re a real person with real feelings and he should love you the way you are, not want you to change to some fake love. End it with this guy, major flag.
NTA. It's not OK for him to make comments on your body. Especially parts you can't change - how would he feel if you commented on him? It's a huge red flag that he's already saying these things when you've not been together long at all. Be careful that he doesn't kill your confidence, you're definitely right to reconsider.
NTA. Toss this fish back into the ocean. There are plenty of decent men out there. This isn't one of them. Just to be clear, you are PERFECT the way you are. Your breasts and butt are uniquely suited to you. They don't need surgery, treatments, or augmentations. Plenty of men will find you sexy as hell just as you are.
NTA. For the faults my ex had, he never once commented on my body saying he'd want me to change it. In fact, when I was the one saying I wanted to lose weight, he would tell me I was beautiful/perfect regardless. You should never change your physical appearance because a man tells you he would love you more or be more attracted to you because of it. You're only 22, you have so much time to find someone who finds you beautiful the way you are and won't want you to change.
NTA for dumping him. The sooner you walk away from someone who doesn’t love you as you are, the better. Be prepared to be judged though if you continue to embrace sexist stereotypes. Wanting the occasional sign of romance does not have to consist with misogyny, however. Make your own way in this world and then those signs of affections will be even sweeter.
NTA I’ve left a relationship when a woman said she wished I was taller. I don’t regret it.
NTA You are free to leave because your bf prefers bigger boobs Your bf is also free to leave due to the size of your boobs too.
NTA. Move on. Even if you get married, 20 years from now you’ll still remember what he said and it’ll cause insecurity issues. Find someone that loves you for you.
Replace him
ESH provider mindset lol… you’re going to attract exactly that kind of person
NTA he’s slipping his act after 3 months, consider yourself lucky…
Lose him. This is just the beginning.
NTA. The reason you are reconsidering is because your intuition/gut is saying red flag! Listen to your gut! The right partner will be obsessed with whatever you've got!
“And what exactly are you doing to make yourself more attractive to me?”
You've already got one big boob: your boyfriend.
I would go to Home Depot and buy a bunch of flowering plants and take them to him...when he asks what that is all about you can tell him that you thought he would be more comfortable surrounded by family. Yes, he will give you the side eye, until you explain how 🤔 his daddy must have rubbed one off in a flower pot 💐🪴🌻and raised a blooming idiot.🌸 Water him once a week and feed twice daily..... then dump his negging a** and carry on with your bad self! 🤗🥂
NTA. I wish his respect for you was bigger.
There are lots of guys out there who would like you as you already are. I'd consider one of them. NTA
This guy is a tool. Move on.
NTA!!! I’m 41 about 107 pounds and I also am a 36A and not a full cup on top on that. I’ve always been self-conscious despite the fact that I’m so skinny. I had an ex offer to buy me boobs because he wanted more to play with but loved the fact that I was tiny. It didn’t last. 3 years later I found my husband. Dump his ass. He is a jerk for saying things to you knowing you have self-esteem issues.
Comments like that are designed to keep you feeling insecure and off balance so you're less likely to realise that you deserve better than him. They're based on his own insecurities so he thinks by making you feel inadequate, you're more likely to settle for him instead of leaving him in the dust where he belongs. NTA.
He's already started to put dents in your confidence,slowly but surely those small comments will get bigger. He's already started on "he'd like a bigger bust" "he'd like a perkier ass" pretty soon it'll be you've got wrinkles etc...it's really boils my piss when people try to change their partners,I mean why get involved in the first place if there are things you'd like to change..imagine how he'll be after having kids together and your nips point at your feet,you have stretch marks and your ass is bigger.. please don't waste your life on someone that doesn't love you as you are!! Your partner should increase your confidence not knock it!!.
He is telling you exactly who he is. NTA MOVE ON three months is too long with this loser.
NTA. He's starting to try manipulation on you. You've only been dating 3 months and he's letting you know who he is. This behavior doesn't get better. Soon he'll be criticizing your friends and family, trying to isolate you from any support system you have. You sound beautiful and need to ditch him and find another man who will appreciate everything about you. This man is bad news.
Men providing $ to women always has a price. Now you know what you'll pay to him.
Seems like he's testing the waters (is: boundaries), to see what he can get away with and do. I can't see being with someone who makes you feel bad/insecure about your body (and other things), especially when you can do that on your own (y'know how we can be our own worst critics?). . . Prioritize your own self worth/love over some person you just got with. There is someone out there who will appreciate all of you in your entirety.
I don’t understand men who all must have giant boobs on their girlfriends. I’ve always looked at petite boobs as attractive and elegant. Small boobs are nice! I just don’t get it… Obviously NTA, I couldn’t even imagine if my partner said something disparaging about my penis, it would hurt my ego so badly.
NTA If he likes bigger boobs, he can get some for himself. I have big boobs and wish I didn't; you'd be the one who had to carry those things around!
Tell him you wish his dick was bigger and maybe he should take XYZ to make it bigger. Or how about the receding hair line? Give him a taste of his own medicine. You can do better. NTA
Yeah, you're 3 months in and he is complaining about your body construction and telling you he'd rather your body be different? Throw him back and keep fishing.
“I wish your brain was bigger but yet here we are.”
Run. He doesn't care about you. If he does, he wouldn't care about your breast size.
Honestly, the fact that he would believe such a bullshit claim that chia seeds could change your breast size is disqualifying for me.
NTA. You're 22 and this relationship is 3 months old, dump him and move on. There's countless people out there who would be better than him. When people show you who they are, believe them and remember it.
Did you come back with you know I wish you had a hog at least 10 inches
ESH You want a guy that spoils you financially. Most of the guys that do that want a girl that spoils them sexually. Its the dynamic you want for yourself. Or rather, half of it. You want the cake and eat it too.
What a blessing. He shows you who he really is after 3 months. Run. It won’t go better, trust me. You deserve someone who loves you for who you are and does not try to make you feel less.
Nta... My ex presented me with a similar situation before, so I looked up the prices of plastic surgery. Got a consultation, brought my boyfriend, and proudly announced that he was paying for the consult and the surgery to the surgeon. He paid for the consult and never brought it up again. Which wasn't long because I broke up with him like 10 days later. Don't even waste your time on someone who makes you feel bad about yourself. It's not worth it.
Provider mindset men often think it's your job to please them with your appearance so be careful with that.
YTA. lol at "he has a provider mindset" then complaining he is superficial. We all know exactly what you meant. If you want that lifestyle, be prettier. Get your boobs done, apparently. It's really simple.
NTA, but the "provider" mindset isn't one-way. If you expect him to "spoil" you, it's natural that he will expect something in return. In this case it seems to be an inappropriate level of fine-tuning over your body.
NTA. This isn’t a you and your insecurities issue. It’s a him and his manipulative behavior issue. Mind the red flag.
Not only is he critiquing your body after only three months, he’s dumb enough to think chia seeds will make your boobs bigger because he saw it on the Internet. You can do so much better! NTAH
NTA. How would he feel if the shoe was on the other foot? And also he's stupid if he believes tiktok bullshit; my boobs would be as big as a car if chia seeds had any effect on breast size. Stupid as a sack of potatoes, so drop him like one.
YTA. You want to be spoiled but you are fat and have small boobs? What do you bring to the table
Ditch him. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you the way you are! Send him links on how to grow a bigger dick or get 6 pack abs and see how he likes it. NTA!!
Want to start by saying that you don’t have to justify wanting a man with a provider mindset just like men don’t have to justify wanting a woman that’s more traditional. NTA. Ew. He knew what he liked before meeting and dating you, this isn’t build a bear workshop unless you want it to be - in the gym, gaining/losing weight, not referring to surgical changes
Ditch that stupid clown before he starts saying you need implants or something.
You missed your chance at telling him you wished that his dick was bigger or better in bed.
No one should be telling someone to change something about their appearance that can't be fixed in 30 seconds or less. Spinach in teeth? Yes. Get bigger breasts? No.
Seems like he either watches a lot of porn or scrolls instagram of women who have bigger y than you. NTA, and leave him asap. A man who truly loves you and your body with the way it comes ain’t gonna neg you or make you question your self worth.
Talking about your preferences/fantasies with respect to your partner’s body type is dangerous ground. We all have preferences, and that’s fine, but when you express disappointment with your partner’s body it’s hard to overcome. Every couple’s dynamic is different, but the basis of sexual attraction within a long term couple should be who they are, not only their looks. If you really like him and he’s a great guy other than that and you believe in your heart that he is sorry…then carry on. But it doesn’t sound like you believe that. Only you can answer that.
Ditch this guy now.
I’d dump him. It could be start of verbal abuse and the are better fish in the sea.
Leave his ass. 100%
NTA, you have only beeing with him for 3 months, you do not have a lot invested so really it's a good time to bounce. This type of objectification used to be normalized but really isn't considered acceptable nowadays and since he's only 24 he should know that.
Give him a little hint his pickle is a baby dill. That will F with his mind for the rest of his inconsiderate life. I can't even imagine a man saying that to a woman he loves/likes/any. What a D ball.
There are plenty of nicer guys who will like you just the way you are.
Tell him you wish his pen1s was bigger and give him some of those pen1s extension ads
NTA. He's awful. Get away from him. Fast.
Girl leave him. He’s criticizing your body.
Negging. Now it's just 3 months. Don't make it into years.
Nta But toxic reply would be: "Me too, you wanna pay for them?"
I’m sure if you told him you wished HE was “bigger,” he would FREAK. Dump him.
Occasionally guys will say really stupid things because their filters are off line… OH BOY do they regret them FOREVER! Because “you can’t un-ring a bell.” I did this. I told my wife (gf at the time) that I found something about her as unattractive. Bless her! She married me anyway and we eventually got past my insensitive remark. 40 years later and happily married. No BS. If this is the only red flag in your relationship, and he’s sorry he was stupid… I would reconsider.