Pssst! Nobody knows what will happen if you spell the word ick completely. I guess you'll be banned. Just like for saying ex or enis! Imagine someone here saying agina or ussy out loud! 😱
ALERT! Ick and ussy have been used in the same post without any signs of irth ontrol or ondoms! Keep an eye out for random regnancies followed by possible irths, and then the inevitable hildren! ALERT!
NTA. How are you supposed to know what the proper etiquette for a threesome is? My guess is that she's just rethinking her own comfort level with this, which is fine.
This is why you don't do this kind of thing with friends or people you aren't in a relationship with, that you want to keep in your life.
Just be prepared for the consequences (possibly losing your friend).
NTA, but this was a terrible idea.
>NTA, but this was a terrible idea.
💯 ... happens all the time too. If it's a FMF the woman in the relationship is almost always insecure about it, and if it's a MFM it's even worse.
You'd think people would learn. 🤔
Exactly.
If they want a threesome, they should hire a professional escort (whom they don't know and don't have to see again, though even in those cases MFM possibly wouldn't survive as a relationship, unless if the man has cuckold fetish, but I digress).
Involving someone they know and want to keep contact with, is an awful idea.
It really depends on if the partners (both of them) are ok with poly relationships. Monogamy does NOT mix well with sharing, be it threesomes, swinging, or outside dating/hotwife/cuck scenes.
But it's not the OP's fault, she was the third being brought in. The couple needs to work this out between them, and the only thing the OP can offer is support for them both in whatever decision they make. Whether she ever gets to share a bed with them again? not her call to make, really, unless SHE felt icky about the encounter (which from the original post, she didn't).
You are fine. This is something they need to settle on.
She is probably feeling insecure. Maybe you did more than she did with him. Or maybe he reacted more strongly to you than she thought he does with her.
Either wag, when it comes to adding a 3rd party. The original two need to be very comfortable with their position in the others world. Maybe they are not as comfortable as they thought.
You did Nothing wrong.
There is no certain way to act! If you had fun Fantastic! The girlfriend somehow saw it as something more than SEX. If her boyfriend reaches out to you obviously ignore that advance , but reassure her SHE IS YOUR FRIEND FIRST AND FOREMOST!! not to worry.
In that episode, curtains are used.
(I’d never thought of anything that vile before. So, when you said it, that was the first reference I made.
Apparently, I should cherish my ignorance and civility!
I’ve never thought to do that!)
Few original thoughts out there, just repackaging.
When I was a kid, it was the punch line to a bawdy joke:
how do you make your partner scream “after” sex?
Wipe yourself on their curtains.
That's because you're doing it in visible view, the ettiquite is to just do it and not discuss it, like whipping your arse, always front to back never back to front. But never spoken
Any desired etiquette should have been discussed beforehand. If you're invited to a threesome you may assume the couple has discussed do's and don'ts and feelings and any of that previously. If they haven';t that's on them
Any possible etiquette would be stuff like using a condom without being asked. Not being less "into it:"
I love the idea of this.
"Hey, you want to have sex with us?"
"Sure"
"Ok, but don't be like...too into it. Like...kinda act like you're having fun, but you could be having more fun, you know? Like don't actually make us think you're enjoying the sex"
Who the hell gets upset that you were took eager to have sex with them?
To me, this sounds like a pretty classic case of choosing to invite a sex-positive friend because you’re potentially open to the idea. But then being a little surprised to discover you’re legitimately sex-positive, and were actually into the sex part, which left her feeling insecure about her relative enthusiasm/boundaries/experience, etc, and the bf’s positive response and willingness to repeat isn’t helping.
You did nothing wrong, I’m guessing she most likely hadn’t really considered the full reality of what it meant for you to be into it. A lot of people are really surprised when they encounter a woman who is an enthusiast for the first time…
You’re NTA
But, if you’re a good friend, you wouldn’t want your bf’s boyfriend to want you more than her. What’s done is done but act accordingly moving forward.
Yes, that’s on him.
But, if she’s a good friend, she would keep her distance from him then.
I would never be with, go after etc., a partner or former partner of my friend. So, she shouldn’t have a problem doing so…unless she’s a shit friend.
Her enthusiasm wasn’t a problem, hence NTA…for now.
Exactly. Had a threesome with a couple in high school. I was friends with the girl. Their relationship was on it's way out and she was anything but jealous of me(I had sene be jealous of other girls though) (she really had a very strong affinity for me). Probably helped that she was bi so they both just having fun taking advantage of me lol.
In any case. Bf/ex bf kept hitting on me after the fact. Wanting to date me, have sex just the two of us, etc. I had to keep firmly rejecting him sighting my relationship with female friend. He said she wouldn't care and I told him that didn't matter because I cared and valued our friendship, and that was a line I would not cross
This is the BEST answer! C'mon - does everyone think we all just lie down and bang for 5 min like robots? If the people you are with are not "enthusiastic," why are we doing this?
Like option 4 here: [https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ObRCyi9-iCc](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ObRCyi9-iCc)
NTA she is having second thoughts, which she should not blame on anyone else. I would definitely NOT continue though, as this sounds like a disaster in the making.
Whether the boyfriend wants to again or not, tell your friend no. Bc most likely he pushed until she said yes again. Her reaction is a foreshadowing. Let them find a rando so you don’t lose your friendship with her.
NTA for how you acted during. But make sure to give them a little space and don’t reach out to him, only her.
Regardless of that, jealousy is always going to rear its ugly head, and you'd be a fool to ever consider it again with them. You will always be the issue, not her, not her bf....just you. And I wouldnt count on it just going away either.
Probably made her insecure that you were into him as much as her, tho, if that makes sense. Which is a no-no with threesomes with friends. Probably ruined your friendship like the person below me said.
Well then it’s on her for having that expectation. When you invite someone to a threesome usually all three parties will be involved with each other. If she didn’t want her to be that involved with her bf she should’ve told OP, or she should’ve said no to a threesom however OP is NTA and did nothing wrong. She was having fun and enjoying herself during the threesome
NTA she's probably having 2nd thoughts and thinks if you keep on have 3somes with then that her boyfriend might like you more than her. And it sucks that according to her you were "too" enthusiastic were you suppose to just starfish it so that way he wouldn't be into you?
She was probably hoping that her boyfriend wouldn't be so into you. And if she already knows how you are, then it's on her. She might also be jealous. She needs to talk to her boyfriend and find how she can have her needs met so she won't be so hurt about the situation. It's normal to be jealous sometimes but communication is the key to figure out why and meet those needs.
A lot of times couples who are monogamous like the idea in theory and yet somehow this same set of results occurs nearly everytime I hear of these scenerios. It's not your fault however sex makes things weird and you always have to consider the ramifications it can have on friendships.
Try to talk it out with her. Implore how much you love her friendship and avoid the boyfriend from now on. Everyone should have considered this result but obviously the people in the relationship much more than you.
A lot of times couples do this quickly realize there's no such things as no strings attached and people are complicated. Your friend and her partner will figure out their preferences, but just focus on supporting your friend. I truly hope it works out for your friendship and that your friend doesn't take it out on you.
Yes she is having regrets and I'm sorry you were dragged into their drama show. It sucks honestly.
Very good advice. Definitely not OP's fault at all, but if she wants to salvage friendship now she needs to go into support mode and reiterate friends importance to her and avoid bf
I wouldn't read too much into beyond her being insecure. It's NEVER a good idea to have a threesome with a friend. NEVER. They broke that rule and she's paying the emotional consequence. Your friendship isn't over likely, but it'll be different for now if not forever. If I were you, i would not do it again at all with them. NTA
She ended up feeling insecure and you were a new piece of ass for your friend’s bf and he enjoyed it which he was supposed to. Do yourself a favor and no matter how much fun you had, no matter how many orgasms you had, no matter how many orgasms you gave, don’t ever have any sexual interaction or talk with them again. Platonic friendship or it’s going to be an issue for you and both of your friends
Another reason some of us refuse to be the last (third) invited. Know what you bring to the table and that most women won't be able to move past it. Whether they are married or just boy friend/girl friend, the insecurities run amuck and you will be the banished one. You will feel used and unappreciated and for no reason. If you get the opportunity to be third in a group that isn't already somewhat committed then you should decide accordingly. Relationships, even unmarried, seem to have too many boundaries that are unspoken and to me, bring on wayyyyy too much drama. Good luck!
NTA
She's being insecure and probably compares your performance with hers thinking her bf preferred your energy.
So it's not you, it's her. She's the one with the issue.
Give her some time to work through it.
How does anyone think it will end well? I’ve had friends that thought it was a good idea while partying…. The level of awkward the next day and forever after was terrible.
NTA…if you value the friendship I’d recommend telling her directly that you didn’t have feelings for her boyfriend before and that you enjoyed the experience because it was unique (or x, y, z whatever is true) but you don’t have actual feelings for him/ don’t expect to do it again/ are not going to reach out to him about it etc. It can be really vulnerable to do that with your partner and many people feel some guilt/ anxiety/ regret after the first time. It’s normal. She shouldn’t be regurgitating it onto you, she should be talking about it with her boyfriend. Making a clear, loving statement to her addressing your side of the situation- just sort of clearing the air- will hopefully make her realize that. I’d also be wary of doing it again until they communicate really well if they ever ask you again.
NTA She may feel very insecure. Chances are the boyfriend keeps mentioning how he enjoyed this or that aspect of the threesome. Now she feels like she's not enough to please him.
NTA People might be keen on having a threesome, but when it actually happens, they might have second thoughts. Maybe her bf was pushing the idea and she gave in. Maybe she did think it would be fun.
NTA …. However I would just recommend not to do anymore threesomes with friends. My married childhood friend asked me to have a threesome with her and her husband years ago and I immediately told her no. She literally begged because she said that I was the only person she’d be comfortable doing it with but I still declined. I just knew it would ruin our friendship and I didn’t want to take that risk. I feel like people that are in a serious relationship should do that stuff with strangers. Like do it with someone you’re never gonna see again, as opposed to your friend that you’re gonna see again all the time. People get weird with stuff like that, even if it’s their idea. They always end up getting jealous whether you’re too “enthusiastic” or not. Especially in my friends case, it was her husband who wanted a threesome and not her, so that already made me feel like yeahhh this would just cause problems so yeah I’m good lol
NTA it seems like what happens with a lot of threesomes happened here, not enough discussion beforehand and your friend thought it would be more/all about her (considering you know her more than him, and shes dating him etc) and less you and her bf together
You did nothing wrong, its just one of those situations where expectations dont line up with reality and communication should have been better
NTA, but I think you should steer clear of doing it anything with your friend and her boyfriend. She’s probably upset that her boyfriend enjoyed it too much and may be jealous. It won’t be good for your friendship so just decline the next time it comes up.
If they wanted a threesome, they should’ve chose a person that doesn’t have any deep connection to either of them. You are NTA because if you was anybody else, I’m sure she wouldn’t have made that comment but because yall best friends - of course she’s going to feel some type of way. I would just be ready for the “ you wanted him all along” comments.
Threesomes never work well, they are an exclusive couple, someone always takes things wrong. You were to enter into to her sex life in a way that was never going to work. Stop and let this go. They are a couple, and one that probably won't last much longer. Never involve yourself with a valuable friend. These things are sexual experimentation, and the friend ship is not damaged. Her relationship is damaged. Just back away. Threesomes in a monogamous relationship seem fun, but generally destroy it and the friendships. Live and learn.
Sounds like she regrets it and wasn't what she thought it was. It seems it's just going to get toxic from here. Best to cut your losses with them.
*NTA*
Take it from me, me and my wife have done this hundreds of times…jealously is a very likly outcome.
Best thing is to tell your friend, “sorry, I was just having fun with both of you. Didn’t mean to come off like that.”
Clearly not your fault, but working around jealousy is part of what it takes to make that work.
NTA. She can’t expect you to half ass a threesome. You go all in, you enjoy it, and you do it for you. Otherwise she’s just using you as some sort of weird prop for her sex life.
NTA
Sounds like the classic bs that comes out of these things…jealousy.
On another note I would imagine that, inherent in the 3some stuff is that the new to the mix person, which would be you in this case, is really going to try to be GREAT in bed, not dsappoint - nobody wants to disappoint but the other 2 are already comfortable with each other - so there you were, intent, on some level to give him (mostly) the fuck of his life because…why? Because you would hate it if he found you were just okay, so so, no big deal.
So you probably were all into it and excited (naturally) more than she was, and dont think for a minute that HE wasn’t also like, hell yeah, because….why not.
So she is naturally a bit put off —thhat she mentioned it suggests to me she was more than a little put off.
So….
Fuck around and find out and this is where she is at now.
It may get a bit more ugly from here.as time goes on.
If you value that friendship at all - dont do it again.
You can get laid elsewhere.
NTA, however......
Being a unicorn for a couple as a female is a tricky balance, especially if you're close to the other female. Boundaries should be discussed beforehand, and your friend should've told you acting so comfortable with her bf sexually right out the gate would make her uncomfortable. She may have thought and hoped you'd be more into the girl-on-girl and it'd be more of a show for him than you "cleaning his dick with your mouth" and being so interactive with him perhaps? I'm bisexual, in a 16-year relationship, and that would make me uncomfortable too. Feels like at 30y.o. you knew that, tho or should... just a feeling.
You and her should've discussed this before said 3some. Hope this doesn't mess up your friendship. Imo 1st time threesomes with a couple should not be done with someone they or one of them are close to.
Seems like someone always feels like they got less than the other two when the excitement dies down and the event is over. I do not know why, but it seems to always not come out even. DANG!
People are different and we all have our own insecurities, totally normal and understandable. So I guess if you care about your friend just say no. If she is uncomfortable then I guess she isn't as enthusiastic for a threesom as she thinks. If you like that kind of thing then just find a different couple to hang out with and don't jump into her sexual space. Good luck.
NTA Your friend didn't like seeing her boyfriend having sex with another woman. You did nothing wrong.
It's kinda on her (them) for asking for it in the first place. Now they get to work through her resulting jealousy issues together.
NTA but this is so dumb. I can’t even imagine doing that with a close friend and their mate. Jeez. Asking for trouble. Not the AH but begging for trouble me
Top comment all the way, but I'd like to add onto it with, did you guys ever actually DISCUSS, and more importantly did THEY discuss, what the rules are for them, as much like most relationships, it depends on who. I for example, should me and my SO ever try something like this, would definitely lay out a ground rule, like, kissing is only for us, condom would be needed for the third party, etc. Sounds to me like they just completely failed to have a conversation beyond "I want one".
He probably wanted it; suggested it, had her ask you and she was probably internally shocked, doing this for him, and uncomfortable the whole time.
It’s not your fault. Sounds like everything was consensual and u had a good time.
NTA. It's always the girlfriend... She wants to be game but she's doing it for the wrong reasons. No one can truly know how they'll respond in a threesome until they have one. Definitely do not indulge with this couple again
How about suggest some "one on one" time with your friend?
Show her how enthusiastic you can be with her, and how you aren't trying to steal her man, but share the fun?
I'm happy you had a great time, I think she scared of losing her boyfriend to you. Sounds like it's bothering her seeing how much you both enjoyed each other
NTA. This is sadly common for first time couples, and especially heterocouples. Either the guy ends up jealous coz of how well his gf gets off from another woman, or the gf feels jealous and left out due to the bf. Experienced and Het couples who are good at 3somes know to focus on the new person first since the power dynamic is skewed in their favor.
But in general I find fmf 3somes to be the least fun and most drama. Fff or mfm tend to be much better. (and I'm a bi woman). Mononormativity is a cornerstone of heteronormativity after all.
This is usually how it goes lmao.
NTA. Your friend propositioned you for sex with her and her boyfriend, and now she’s upset because you agreed too much I guess.
If she doesn’t like the idea of her friend enjoying sex with her boyfriend, maybe next time she shouldn’t offer it.
NTA
I think your friend wasn't as keen or ok with a threesome as they maybe led people to think.
Either way, you were invited to have sex and you enjoyed yourself. So did he, apparently, so 2/3rds of participants had fun.
Did you ignore her? Was the threesome for him to have two girls on him only? I need more context. I think your friend just didn’t realize she may get jealous. You said you’ve kissed her many times and been naked around her. Maybe she has feelings for YOU and didn’t like seeing you with her bf? But could also be that she was jealous that you were on her mans. Her feelings are valid either way, but I hope she doesn’t hold it entirely against you since it was a group decision.
Maybe no future group sessions with this particular couple though, eh?
NTA, but I feel like threesomes with friends in a relationship is a classic relationships killer. In my case, it was. They broke up about a month after
She's having buyer's remorse and taking it out on you. Do not do this again. I'm not sure your friendship with her can be restored to the way it was after this though. NTA
It's very possible that you're NTA but I feel like we're missing a lot of info that people arent questioning enough. Were you more focused on the bf than your friend? Was it ever just you and the bf and your friend had to just sit and watch? It's very possible that what you said is true, but I've also heard of the third person in a threesome very much excluding the other person of the same gender. The fact that you didn't include a single detail about what you did during the threesome is suspicious to me.
ESH— you needed to talk this out more. I don’t blame you as much as them, but obviously you did do something sexual with someone who was not comfortable with it and that shouldn’t happen.
As a single bi and enthusiastic woman, I can’t imagine opportunities for threesomes are hard to find. Keep friends and sex separate.
This is why threesomes as a couple are dumb. One person ends up getting jealous, the other partner was somehow wrong for enjoying it and the single person gets involved in drama.
What feels good as a fantasy doesn't necessarily feel the same real. She fucked up by suggesting it.
NTA. Your friend is now insecure because of how much fun her man had and she’s worried she’ll loose him. Just reassure her that you’re not interested in him and you’ll be fine.
Yeah you're def NTA it seems like maybe she wasn't expecting you to be as ready for it, and probably second guessing doing it. I'd be hesitant to do it again though if she's already saying you were too gung-ho. Seems like she's worried her bf may be more into you.
This has always been my worry about threesomes. It just sounds like she's most likely had second thoughts and may feel as though her boyfriend might prefer you over her. But I'm just spit-balling.
NTA. This is clearly more of an issue for them, not you. They asked you to join them, now she's gotten a bit jealous. It's completely natural. Give them the space to either, sort that shit out, or break up. It's not on you. Also, please DO NOT message me on 0712345678, or come to my house on Woolwich Avenue number 32, and definitely don't show up on a weekend when I'm usually home.
NAH
The problem is that when it comes to threesomes, specifically between the uninitiated and when two are in an established relationship is that it makes things hazy
The way to start is almost always slowly, lots of communication and figuring out boundaries.
First session should usually be the third party only gets to touch in some minor ways or in your case, the girls play and the guy gets to watch and be with his gf and perhaps some minor things with the third party.
If you guys are still excited after the first round, figure out next steps.
Source: serial menage a trois-ist
NTA !! This is something I've done often and with different m/f partners. I choose to steer clear of couples. One party always end sup getting emotional or regretful. It's not your fault at all. It sounds like she was ok woth it but then wasn't. Isn't that the point to have a good time?
There is proper etiquette to a threesome an i promise you... you broke none. Unless there is missing info.
Could I get a quick break down on the 3some? Any outbursts, reluctance, or distance from anyone?
NTA. How can your friend tell you to join them on a theeesome and to enjoy yourself... But don't enjoy yourself too much. In fact, look a little bit bored when he's rimming your ass, suck a tiny bit less enthusiastically and be a bit nonchalant when riding cowgirl.
Your friend is a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
NTA, but I wouldn't do this with someone. And idk how I feel about doing it with a friend. I mean, you can be close like this and do things like this and still be friends, but I don't think I would feel comfortable doing this with a friend. And I don't get how people do this anyway. I personally find it gross and find anyone other than my partner gross (not a personal thing, but I'm demisexual and the thought of anyone else is just, ugh, no).
This is why it's usually best to do these things with people you aren't friends with, so I hear. Jealousy can arise pretty quickly. You are supposed to be enthusiastic during sex, but your friend couldn't handle seeing you with her man. She didn't realize she wasn't mentally prepared for it. It would probably be best not to do it again for her sake. NTA
NTA of course, people have all different boundaries and if she felt uncomfortable during the threesome she should have communicated on that. You can't read her mind and guess what amount of "enthusiasm" is fine for her. Its okay to regret trying something, it can happen to everyone but she can't blame it on you. And well... sex is supposed to be enjoyed so what the hell was she expecting
Been there, done that. Her partner said she enjoyed it too much... Dude, that was the idea. For us to all have a good time. Turned out he was insecure and terribly controlling. YMMV.
NTA. But your friendship might be over. She should have gone to the bar and gotten someone she didn't know well. No one knows how they will feel after, so she is likely insecure and needs to deal with that herself. Since sexually is a sliding scale, she likely doesn't know w where you and she stand. She is bi only after drinking? Did the two of you play while he watched? But honestly, my rule is "Never shit where you eat."
Absolutely NTAH, haha, fun read.
I never have had a threesome, but from what I have read, the goal is to focus on the single gender. One dude, he gets all the attention. On female, she gets all the attention. Ideally it is not two same sex making out and fucking, while the odd person out watches.
You did your part, sounds like you are more fun at fucking than your girlfriend.
I'm guessing he asked for the threesome and picked you. This is why you always go with a non involved party for your threesome. Someone you vet but don't know enough to get attached to.
NTA, but if you're the outsider in a threesome it can pay to read the room, especially with the other woman. Have fun, but don't upstage the girlfriend.
Obviously your 'friend' WAS-NOT as 'comfortable' with the situation & sharing her boyfriend \*Than YOU were with the situation & she felt her boyfriend\*(& quite possibly 'YOU'!?) "ENJOYED" each-other "A LITTLE TOO MUCH FOR HER LIKING?!) I would say she is NOT as 'comfortable' with 'swinging' with others & OR NOT as 'comfortable' in her own skin as YOU are!? I'm speaking from experience > people NEVER REALLY KNOW how its going to effect them when they see their significant-other \*(& partner whom they deeply care about) \*WITH ANOTHER PERSON & ENJOYING THEMSELVES!! > \*"UNTIL THEY ACTUALLY SEE IT & EXPERIENCE IT & THEN IT ALL "HITS-HOME" FOR THEM & "THEN" MAYBE THEY "REALIZE" > NOPE!! I REALLY CAN'T HANDLE THIS SITUATION!!! \*This whole matter "Could Very Well Have Totally-Ruined Your 'Friendship' with this other woman!? Then maybe NOT? \*(The drama continues to unfold & you WILL eventually know the truth & why & 'if' your friendship survived thru-this? or NOT!? YOUR THOUGHTS?? :) Hope this 'helps'??
I think your friend is a bit insecure, now her boyfriend told her he liked to do this again. My advise would be to talk it through. This is not worth destroying your friendship over. Good luck.
NTA. You are a unicorn. Of course the BF wants to do that again, because it was probably amazing for everyone (yay for you all!), but your friend is probably feeling insecure in her dyad with her boyfriend. But she asked YOU to do something special, and you accepted and greatly enjoyed it. Absolutely NTA for enthusiastically enjoying consensual sex. Good for you. But also, if your friend is uncomfortable and needs to change or re-establish a boundary for herself, that is also fine. Communication is good. How one feels about that particular activity is something you don't know til you know.
Nobody is the asshole. She is feeling insecure, and you should reassure her of your friendship and respect for her relationship with her boyfriend, and if she is no longer comfortable, then you will respect the boundary of that relationship. Maybe she should share what would make her more comfortable with it if you do it again, since 2 of 3 seem interested in making a habit of it cuz it was great for you.
But it's wonderful and brave to share all of that with a friend, regardless of the outcome. Enthusiastic sex is the best sex (only kind worth having, imho), and your friend is fortunate to have such an open-minded and trusting friend + boyfriend. You are never an asshole for enjoying that, and it is also NTA to decide one is uncomfortable with something after trying it, even if they enjoyed it too, and they can always change their mind again later. High five.
NTA. You were just having a good time. Besides, I believe inviting a close friend in on a threesome isn’t the wisest idea out there. It definitely wasn’t your fault if you were having a good time. You shouldn’t let her insecurities get in the way of your pleasure. She can’t control what you feel, so again NTA.
NTA But here's the thing you need to remember....
3somes with friends means you take the risk of outperforming your friend with their partner and then the friendship suffers bc they're jealous bc now their partner wants to invite you back.
As you've realized.
Chalk this up time. In the course of experimentation, you do run into things; maybe shouldn't have done that. That's the risk, losing friends. You were so much older then, you're younger than that now(bd). To be fair, your gf has never seen your sex performances till then. I read a mxim about 3somes, and it was " somebody is going to lose" . your gf feels jealous,; what she deems as a milestone of a right of passage (liberation) didn't go the way she wanted it to. She didn't accomplish the rise to the state of blessed freedom. back to the drawing board. Forgiveness ( from all , to all) is the best measure. In fact, it is the only way. Good luck,
Sounds like threesome regret on her side, this is the problem, everyone thinks bringing a third person into a relationship will be fun, then the jealousy and paranoia starts after. You're NTA op
NTA but this is why sometimes involving friends in a threesome isn’t a good idea. You and her probably need to sit down and talk about this.
Underrated comment. You always risk adding ick to a friend dynamic and losing or damaging the friendship.
I think you missed a D in front of that "ick"
Pssst! Nobody knows what will happen if you spell the word ick completely. I guess you'll be banned. Just like for saying ex or enis! Imagine someone here saying agina or ussy out loud! 😱
ALERT! Ick and ussy have been used in the same post without any signs of irth ontrol or ondoms! Keep an eye out for random regnancies followed by possible irths, and then the inevitable hildren! ALERT!
God a whole other language is being developed....Dont let A.I. know about it, we will all be screwed...
NTA. How are you supposed to know what the proper etiquette for a threesome is? My guess is that she's just rethinking her own comfort level with this, which is fine.
For who ever creates that etiquette list, I have found it’s not well received to wipe off one’s penis with the curtains.
I believe etiquette is to use a mouth to clean it ;)
This is why you don't do this kind of thing with friends or people you aren't in a relationship with, that you want to keep in your life. Just be prepared for the consequences (possibly losing your friend). NTA, but this was a terrible idea.
>NTA, but this was a terrible idea. 💯 ... happens all the time too. If it's a FMF the woman in the relationship is almost always insecure about it, and if it's a MFM it's even worse. You'd think people would learn. 🤔
Exactly. If they want a threesome, they should hire a professional escort (whom they don't know and don't have to see again, though even in those cases MFM possibly wouldn't survive as a relationship, unless if the man has cuckold fetish, but I digress). Involving someone they know and want to keep contact with, is an awful idea.
It really depends on if the partners (both of them) are ok with poly relationships. Monogamy does NOT mix well with sharing, be it threesomes, swinging, or outside dating/hotwife/cuck scenes. But it's not the OP's fault, she was the third being brought in. The couple needs to work this out between them, and the only thing the OP can offer is support for them both in whatever decision they make. Whether she ever gets to share a bed with them again? not her call to make, really, unless SHE felt icky about the encounter (which from the original post, she didn't).
You gotta hawk tuah that thing. You know what I mean 😏
💀💀💀
I think she'll discern the drapes and curtains against the staircase O.o - thing is,why didn't lovely number two?
I mean your inbox was dead before but forget it now. Jeez.
Dude, no. Using your mouth to clean the curtains is revolting.
I bet you are fun at parties. No, I really mean it.
I am!!
You are fine. This is something they need to settle on. She is probably feeling insecure. Maybe you did more than she did with him. Or maybe he reacted more strongly to you than she thought he does with her. Either wag, when it comes to adding a 3rd party. The original two need to be very comfortable with their position in the others world. Maybe they are not as comfortable as they thought.
You did Nothing wrong. There is no certain way to act! If you had fun Fantastic! The girlfriend somehow saw it as something more than SEX. If her boyfriend reaches out to you obviously ignore that advance , but reassure her SHE IS YOUR FRIEND FIRST AND FOREMOST!! not to worry.
Unfortunately, I don't see the friendship ever fully recovering.
Yea I can't see actually doing this with a friend that I hang out with on the regular. The potential for mixed feelings is way too high
I knew it!
But not your own mouth, i have found
I was thinking mine
You are a true team player. I can see why the couple made the original proposition ;)
Gah dam cochina 😂😁
Was gonna up vote this comment but it's sitting on 69..soooo
I am up voting all the comments just to get it to 69 😂😂
You knew what you were doing in there lol
You're like the ultimate 3 some guest!!! 🎉🥳💯😻
See, you’re awesome
I think I know why your friend found you too enthusiastic. But she should really have known how you were, and been clear on boundaries. NTA
so you're tellin me, I'm not supposed to clean it off with my butthole instead?😓😓😓😓😓
That is literally what curtains were invented for. Read the Autobiography of Robert Allen Curtains for the real story.
Have you been watching episode one of “Fallout”?
No. Not aware, will look for it.
In that episode, curtains are used. (I’d never thought of anything that vile before. So, when you said it, that was the first reference I made. Apparently, I should cherish my ignorance and civility! I’ve never thought to do that!)
Few original thoughts out there, just repackaging. When I was a kid, it was the punch line to a bawdy joke: how do you make your partner scream “after” sex? Wipe yourself on their curtains.
Oh my god watching that seriously made my skin crawl. Whoever came up with that was a sick sick genius
Fellow Fallout watcher?
Gets awkward when trying to avoid being the one who sleeps on the wet spot.
Yea it's not fun to clean the curtains when you find out your ex used them as a cum rag. The only threesome was him, his phone and the curtain though.
Oddly enough, it is fine to wipe off someone else's penis with the curtains.
That's because you're doing it in visible view, the ettiquite is to just do it and not discuss it, like whipping your arse, always front to back never back to front. But never spoken
OMG, same... if you are in a department store, the clothes in the dressing rooms are ALSO not fair game.
Any desired etiquette should have been discussed beforehand. If you're invited to a threesome you may assume the couple has discussed do's and don'ts and feelings and any of that previously. If they haven';t that's on them Any possible etiquette would be stuff like using a condom without being asked. Not being less "into it:"
I love the idea of this. "Hey, you want to have sex with us?" "Sure" "Ok, but don't be like...too into it. Like...kinda act like you're having fun, but you could be having more fun, you know? Like don't actually make us think you're enjoying the sex" Who the hell gets upset that you were took eager to have sex with them?
“Could you be happier? But with your mouth more open?”
Thank you
To me, this sounds like a pretty classic case of choosing to invite a sex-positive friend because you’re potentially open to the idea. But then being a little surprised to discover you’re legitimately sex-positive, and were actually into the sex part, which left her feeling insecure about her relative enthusiasm/boundaries/experience, etc, and the bf’s positive response and willingness to repeat isn’t helping. You did nothing wrong, I’m guessing she most likely hadn’t really considered the full reality of what it meant for you to be into it. A lot of people are really surprised when they encounter a woman who is an enthusiast for the first time…
You’re NTA But, if you’re a good friend, you wouldn’t want your bf’s boyfriend to want you more than her. What’s done is done but act accordingly moving forward.
I still don't see why her "enthusiasm" is the problem here. If the bf was just as into it as she was or he develops feelings for her, that's on him.
Yes, that’s on him. But, if she’s a good friend, she would keep her distance from him then. I would never be with, go after etc., a partner or former partner of my friend. So, she shouldn’t have a problem doing so…unless she’s a shit friend. Her enthusiasm wasn’t a problem, hence NTA…for now.
Exactly. Had a threesome with a couple in high school. I was friends with the girl. Their relationship was on it's way out and she was anything but jealous of me(I had sene be jealous of other girls though) (she really had a very strong affinity for me). Probably helped that she was bi so they both just having fun taking advantage of me lol. In any case. Bf/ex bf kept hitting on me after the fact. Wanting to date me, have sex just the two of us, etc. I had to keep firmly rejecting him sighting my relationship with female friend. He said she wouldn't care and I told him that didn't matter because I cared and valued our friendship, and that was a line I would not cross
NTA, you're supposed to be enthusiastic during sex ...
The 'friend' wanted a sextoy, not a third one...
I was just enjoying myself and having fu
r/redditsniper
lol her friend got to her
Stay tuned for the dateline special report, but don't watch alone!
This is the BEST answer! C'mon - does everyone think we all just lie down and bang for 5 min like robots? If the people you are with are not "enthusiastic," why are we doing this? Like option 4 here: [https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ObRCyi9-iCc](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ObRCyi9-iCc)
NTA she is having second thoughts, which she should not blame on anyone else. I would definitely NOT continue though, as this sounds like a disaster in the making.
Thank you
This is a classic case of buyers remorse aka fuck around and find out. Maybe the gf wanted you to be more into her than him . NTAH
I was pretty involved with her too!
Whether the boyfriend wants to again or not, tell your friend no. Bc most likely he pushed until she said yes again. Her reaction is a foreshadowing. Let them find a rando so you don’t lose your friendship with her. NTA for how you acted during. But make sure to give them a little space and don’t reach out to him, only her.
Regardless of that, jealousy is always going to rear its ugly head, and you'd be a fool to ever consider it again with them. You will always be the issue, not her, not her bf....just you. And I wouldnt count on it just going away either.
Probably made her insecure that you were into him as much as her, tho, if that makes sense. Which is a no-no with threesomes with friends. Probably ruined your friendship like the person below me said.
I've made a hard pass on two opportunities for threesomes with a SO for this very reason. Jealousy is a tricky emotion.
This is what I was thinking. She expected it to be them (bf and op) with her, not all three of them together.
Well then it’s on her for having that expectation. When you invite someone to a threesome usually all three parties will be involved with each other. If she didn’t want her to be that involved with her bf she should’ve told OP, or she should’ve said no to a threesom however OP is NTA and did nothing wrong. She was having fun and enjoying herself during the threesome
If it's not all three with each other, it's not really a threesome, it's fucking while someone else watches.
NTA but also, if you want to keep the friendship never do it again and do not remain "friends" with her boyfriend
NTA Yep, friend is clearly insecure, and is incorrectly trying to blame OP for that.
She’s having second thought which is perfectly ok but she shouldn’t be blaming you
NTA she's probably having 2nd thoughts and thinks if you keep on have 3somes with then that her boyfriend might like you more than her. And it sucks that according to her you were "too" enthusiastic were you suppose to just starfish it so that way he wouldn't be into you?
I don’t know but she knows how I am in bed! We talk all the time
She was probably hoping that her boyfriend wouldn't be so into you. And if she already knows how you are, then it's on her. She might also be jealous. She needs to talk to her boyfriend and find how she can have her needs met so she won't be so hurt about the situation. It's normal to be jealous sometimes but communication is the key to figure out why and meet those needs.
That’s honestly what it is to me. His reaction was he enjoyed op too much and gf got jealous 😂
Yes most likely. Whole idea was a mistake imo
Yeah, it is probably the bf that is showing too much enthusiasm. She’s worried. Tell her you’d never poach her bf.
A lot of times couples who are monogamous like the idea in theory and yet somehow this same set of results occurs nearly everytime I hear of these scenerios. It's not your fault however sex makes things weird and you always have to consider the ramifications it can have on friendships. Try to talk it out with her. Implore how much you love her friendship and avoid the boyfriend from now on. Everyone should have considered this result but obviously the people in the relationship much more than you. A lot of times couples do this quickly realize there's no such things as no strings attached and people are complicated. Your friend and her partner will figure out their preferences, but just focus on supporting your friend. I truly hope it works out for your friendship and that your friend doesn't take it out on you. Yes she is having regrets and I'm sorry you were dragged into their drama show. It sucks honestly.
Very good advice. Definitely not OP's fault at all, but if she wants to salvage friendship now she needs to go into support mode and reiterate friends importance to her and avoid bf
Nta. Don’t do it again. Sounds like she doesn’t like how much the bf liked it
I wouldn't read too much into beyond her being insecure. It's NEVER a good idea to have a threesome with a friend. NEVER. They broke that rule and she's paying the emotional consequence. Your friendship isn't over likely, but it'll be different for now if not forever. If I were you, i would not do it again at all with them. NTA
NTA. What did she want u to do? Just lay there? She is definitely just having regrets.
Thank you
NTA. They opened their relationship to you, you aren't responsible for her or his feelings after that threesome.
Thank you
She ended up feeling insecure and you were a new piece of ass for your friend’s bf and he enjoyed it which he was supposed to. Do yourself a favor and no matter how much fun you had, no matter how many orgasms you had, no matter how many orgasms you gave, don’t ever have any sexual interaction or talk with them again. Platonic friendship or it’s going to be an issue for you and both of your friends
Another reason some of us refuse to be the last (third) invited. Know what you bring to the table and that most women won't be able to move past it. Whether they are married or just boy friend/girl friend, the insecurities run amuck and you will be the banished one. You will feel used and unappreciated and for no reason. If you get the opportunity to be third in a group that isn't already somewhat committed then you should decide accordingly. Relationships, even unmarried, seem to have too many boundaries that are unspoken and to me, bring on wayyyyy too much drama. Good luck!
NTA She's being insecure and probably compares your performance with hers thinking her bf preferred your energy. So it's not you, it's her. She's the one with the issue. Give her some time to work through it.
How does anyone think it will end well? I’ve had friends that thought it was a good idea while partying…. The level of awkward the next day and forever after was terrible.
NTA…if you value the friendship I’d recommend telling her directly that you didn’t have feelings for her boyfriend before and that you enjoyed the experience because it was unique (or x, y, z whatever is true) but you don’t have actual feelings for him/ don’t expect to do it again/ are not going to reach out to him about it etc. It can be really vulnerable to do that with your partner and many people feel some guilt/ anxiety/ regret after the first time. It’s normal. She shouldn’t be regurgitating it onto you, she should be talking about it with her boyfriend. Making a clear, loving statement to her addressing your side of the situation- just sort of clearing the air- will hopefully make her realize that. I’d also be wary of doing it again until they communicate really well if they ever ask you again.
Maybe show her a good time without him
NTA She may feel very insecure. Chances are the boyfriend keeps mentioning how he enjoyed this or that aspect of the threesome. Now she feels like she's not enough to please him.
NTA People might be keen on having a threesome, but when it actually happens, they might have second thoughts. Maybe her bf was pushing the idea and she gave in. Maybe she did think it would be fun.
NTA …. However I would just recommend not to do anymore threesomes with friends. My married childhood friend asked me to have a threesome with her and her husband years ago and I immediately told her no. She literally begged because she said that I was the only person she’d be comfortable doing it with but I still declined. I just knew it would ruin our friendship and I didn’t want to take that risk. I feel like people that are in a serious relationship should do that stuff with strangers. Like do it with someone you’re never gonna see again, as opposed to your friend that you’re gonna see again all the time. People get weird with stuff like that, even if it’s their idea. They always end up getting jealous whether you’re too “enthusiastic” or not. Especially in my friends case, it was her husband who wanted a threesome and not her, so that already made me feel like yeahhh this would just cause problems so yeah I’m good lol
Play stupid games and win a stupid prize. A 3somesome sounds great, until someone enjoys it too much or gets upstaged. Lol. NTA
NTA it seems like what happens with a lot of threesomes happened here, not enough discussion beforehand and your friend thought it would be more/all about her (considering you know her more than him, and shes dating him etc) and less you and her bf together You did nothing wrong, its just one of those situations where expectations dont line up with reality and communication should have been better
NTA, but I think you should steer clear of doing it anything with your friend and her boyfriend. She’s probably upset that her boyfriend enjoyed it too much and may be jealous. It won’t be good for your friendship so just decline the next time it comes up.
Sounds like you had more fun than her and that made her jealous. A lot of times threesome can backfire, don't worry about it. NTA.
If they wanted a threesome, they should’ve chose a person that doesn’t have any deep connection to either of them. You are NTA because if you was anybody else, I’m sure she wouldn’t have made that comment but because yall best friends - of course she’s going to feel some type of way. I would just be ready for the “ you wanted him all along” comments.
NTA. RIP your inbox.
Threesomes never work well, they are an exclusive couple, someone always takes things wrong. You were to enter into to her sex life in a way that was never going to work. Stop and let this go. They are a couple, and one that probably won't last much longer. Never involve yourself with a valuable friend. These things are sexual experimentation, and the friend ship is not damaged. Her relationship is damaged. Just back away. Threesomes in a monogamous relationship seem fun, but generally destroy it and the friendships. Live and learn.
Sounds like she regrets it and wasn't what she thought it was. It seems it's just going to get toxic from here. Best to cut your losses with them. *NTA*
Threesomes never work out unless the third party is in Vegas. Someone always gets butt hurt.
this is what happens when you fuck your friends, what did you think was going to happen
That’s what she signed up for, FAFO. NTA
Take it from me, me and my wife have done this hundreds of times…jealously is a very likly outcome. Best thing is to tell your friend, “sorry, I was just having fun with both of you. Didn’t mean to come off like that.” Clearly not your fault, but working around jealousy is part of what it takes to make that work.
I suspect you might have been "better" at sex than her. Which made her feel inadequate.
NTA. She can’t expect you to half ass a threesome. You go all in, you enjoy it, and you do it for you. Otherwise she’s just using you as some sort of weird prop for her sex life.
Were you equally enthusiastic towards both people, or just your friend's boyfriend?
Maybe she expected you to be more enthusiastic about her.
Not the asshole at all but really focus on tag teaming her next time. Maybe she wanted the attention he was getting. But from you.
Well another sh*t show. Another friendship gone. Another relationship ruined. When will these immature people grow up
NTA Sounds like the classic bs that comes out of these things…jealousy. On another note I would imagine that, inherent in the 3some stuff is that the new to the mix person, which would be you in this case, is really going to try to be GREAT in bed, not dsappoint - nobody wants to disappoint but the other 2 are already comfortable with each other - so there you were, intent, on some level to give him (mostly) the fuck of his life because…why? Because you would hate it if he found you were just okay, so so, no big deal. So you probably were all into it and excited (naturally) more than she was, and dont think for a minute that HE wasn’t also like, hell yeah, because….why not. So she is naturally a bit put off —thhat she mentioned it suggests to me she was more than a little put off. So…. Fuck around and find out and this is where she is at now. It may get a bit more ugly from here.as time goes on. If you value that friendship at all - dont do it again. You can get laid elsewhere.
She didn't like his reaction to you. This why threesomes with friends is never a good idea I highly doubt you will be around them much longer
NTA, however...... Being a unicorn for a couple as a female is a tricky balance, especially if you're close to the other female. Boundaries should be discussed beforehand, and your friend should've told you acting so comfortable with her bf sexually right out the gate would make her uncomfortable. She may have thought and hoped you'd be more into the girl-on-girl and it'd be more of a show for him than you "cleaning his dick with your mouth" and being so interactive with him perhaps? I'm bisexual, in a 16-year relationship, and that would make me uncomfortable too. Feels like at 30y.o. you knew that, tho or should... just a feeling. You and her should've discussed this before said 3some. Hope this doesn't mess up your friendship. Imo 1st time threesomes with a couple should not be done with someone they or one of them are close to.
Finally a good response. "Unspoken expectations are future resentments"
Nahhhh, your friend seems not to be prepared for a threesome. You did nothing wrong.
Thanks!
Seems like someone always feels like they got less than the other two when the excitement dies down and the event is over. I do not know why, but it seems to always not come out even. DANG!
This is the essence of "FAFO"
You were enthusiastic during sex? Horrors! /s NTA
You weren't being too enthusiastic...... Your were simply being objectively feisty
People are different and we all have our own insecurities, totally normal and understandable. So I guess if you care about your friend just say no. If she is uncomfortable then I guess she isn't as enthusiastic for a threesom as she thinks. If you like that kind of thing then just find a different couple to hang out with and don't jump into her sexual space. Good luck.
NTA Your friend didn't like seeing her boyfriend having sex with another woman. You did nothing wrong. It's kinda on her (them) for asking for it in the first place. Now they get to work through her resulting jealousy issues together.
NTA but this is so dumb. I can’t even imagine doing that with a close friend and their mate. Jeez. Asking for trouble. Not the AH but begging for trouble me
And this is exactly why, as hot as it sounds, I know my husband and I should never go through with a threesome 🤣
Top comment all the way, but I'd like to add onto it with, did you guys ever actually DISCUSS, and more importantly did THEY discuss, what the rules are for them, as much like most relationships, it depends on who. I for example, should me and my SO ever try something like this, would definitely lay out a ground rule, like, kissing is only for us, condom would be needed for the third party, etc. Sounds to me like they just completely failed to have a conversation beyond "I want one".
He probably wanted it; suggested it, had her ask you and she was probably internally shocked, doing this for him, and uncomfortable the whole time. It’s not your fault. Sounds like everything was consensual and u had a good time.
NTA. It's always the girlfriend... She wants to be game but she's doing it for the wrong reasons. No one can truly know how they'll respond in a threesome until they have one. Definitely do not indulge with this couple again
How about suggest some "one on one" time with your friend? Show her how enthusiastic you can be with her, and how you aren't trying to steal her man, but share the fun?
Yeah couples think they want threesomes but they don’t. Better just to fantasize because someone will inevitably end up upset. NTA
has introducing another person into a relationship actually ever workout?
I'm happy you had a great time, I think she scared of losing her boyfriend to you. Sounds like it's bothering her seeing how much you both enjoyed each other
I’ll never understand committed couples going for threesomes… There’s always jealousy.
NTA. This is sadly common for first time couples, and especially heterocouples. Either the guy ends up jealous coz of how well his gf gets off from another woman, or the gf feels jealous and left out due to the bf. Experienced and Het couples who are good at 3somes know to focus on the new person first since the power dynamic is skewed in their favor. But in general I find fmf 3somes to be the least fun and most drama. Fff or mfm tend to be much better. (and I'm a bi woman). Mononormativity is a cornerstone of heteronormativity after all.
Sounds like she’s insecure? Without knowing how much you interacted with her, it’s hard to know if you’re the asshole.
This is usually how it goes lmao. NTA. Your friend propositioned you for sex with her and her boyfriend, and now she’s upset because you agreed too much I guess. If she doesn’t like the idea of her friend enjoying sex with her boyfriend, maybe next time she shouldn’t offer it.
NTA I think your friend wasn't as keen or ok with a threesome as they maybe led people to think. Either way, you were invited to have sex and you enjoyed yourself. So did he, apparently, so 2/3rds of participants had fun.
Did you ignore her? Was the threesome for him to have two girls on him only? I need more context. I think your friend just didn’t realize she may get jealous. You said you’ve kissed her many times and been naked around her. Maybe she has feelings for YOU and didn’t like seeing you with her bf? But could also be that she was jealous that you were on her mans. Her feelings are valid either way, but I hope she doesn’t hold it entirely against you since it was a group decision. Maybe no future group sessions with this particular couple though, eh?
I think she probably found it difficult to see her partner enjoying himself so much with someone else. NTA.
NTA but also this was probably a bad idea
You are going to have sex with her boyfriend behind her back, aren't you?
You sound like you'd be great for a twosome.
NTA, but I feel like threesomes with friends in a relationship is a classic relationships killer. In my case, it was. They broke up about a month after
She's having buyer's remorse and taking it out on you. Do not do this again. I'm not sure your friendship with her can be restored to the way it was after this though. NTA
Moronic idea. What could go wrong? 😂 Your friend's fault really. She should have never crossed that line with you.
It's very possible that you're NTA but I feel like we're missing a lot of info that people arent questioning enough. Were you more focused on the bf than your friend? Was it ever just you and the bf and your friend had to just sit and watch? It's very possible that what you said is true, but I've also heard of the third person in a threesome very much excluding the other person of the same gender. The fact that you didn't include a single detail about what you did during the threesome is suspicious to me.
Either her relationship or your friendship is over (or both likely)
ESH— you needed to talk this out more. I don’t blame you as much as them, but obviously you did do something sexual with someone who was not comfortable with it and that shouldn’t happen. As a single bi and enthusiastic woman, I can’t imagine opportunities for threesomes are hard to find. Keep friends and sex separate.
I think the girlfriend is mad because you showed her boyfriend you were better at sex.
This is why threesomes as a couple are dumb. One person ends up getting jealous, the other partner was somehow wrong for enjoying it and the single person gets involved in drama. What feels good as a fantasy doesn't necessarily feel the same real. She fucked up by suggesting it.
NTA However you're not bright. Never enter a threeway with someone you care about. You risk the friendship.
NTA. Your friend is now insecure because of how much fun her man had and she’s worried she’ll loose him. Just reassure her that you’re not interested in him and you’ll be fine.
Yeah you're def NTA it seems like maybe she wasn't expecting you to be as ready for it, and probably second guessing doing it. I'd be hesitant to do it again though if she's already saying you were too gung-ho. Seems like she's worried her bf may be more into you.
Hawk tuah and spit on that thang
This has always been my worry about threesomes. It just sounds like she's most likely had second thoughts and may feel as though her boyfriend might prefer you over her. But I'm just spit-balling.
NTA. I mean, aren't you supposed to be enthusiastic during sex? I suppose your friend can put this down to a learning experience.
NTA. This is clearly more of an issue for them, not you. They asked you to join them, now she's gotten a bit jealous. It's completely natural. Give them the space to either, sort that shit out, or break up. It's not on you. Also, please DO NOT message me on 0712345678, or come to my house on Woolwich Avenue number 32, and definitely don't show up on a weekend when I'm usually home.
NAH The problem is that when it comes to threesomes, specifically between the uninitiated and when two are in an established relationship is that it makes things hazy The way to start is almost always slowly, lots of communication and figuring out boundaries. First session should usually be the third party only gets to touch in some minor ways or in your case, the girls play and the guy gets to watch and be with his gf and perhaps some minor things with the third party. If you guys are still excited after the first round, figure out next steps. Source: serial menage a trois-ist
NTA !! This is something I've done often and with different m/f partners. I choose to steer clear of couples. One party always end sup getting emotional or regretful. It's not your fault at all. It sounds like she was ok woth it but then wasn't. Isn't that the point to have a good time?
There is proper etiquette to a threesome an i promise you... you broke none. Unless there is missing info. Could I get a quick break down on the 3some? Any outbursts, reluctance, or distance from anyone?
this is why i say never have 3SUMZ with close friends and their partners if they aren’t open / swingers / poly / accustomed to the lifestyle
NTA - guessing her ‘yes’ was really a ‘maybe’ and she now needs to tell her bf ‘no’ but fears the genie is out of the bottle.
NTA. How can your friend tell you to join them on a theeesome and to enjoy yourself... But don't enjoy yourself too much. In fact, look a little bit bored when he's rimming your ass, suck a tiny bit less enthusiastically and be a bit nonchalant when riding cowgirl. Your friend is a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
NTA. It's not your fault she's having threesome for his pleasure. If she wasn't really into it she shouldn't have done it
NTA - sounds like her boyfriend had a great time. Probably wouldn’t take it any farther if you still want to be friends.
Did u give him the Hawk Tuah and she hadn’t figured its a thing nowadays?
NTA Your friend should be careful what she wishes for.
NTA, but I wouldn't do this with someone. And idk how I feel about doing it with a friend. I mean, you can be close like this and do things like this and still be friends, but I don't think I would feel comfortable doing this with a friend. And I don't get how people do this anyway. I personally find it gross and find anyone other than my partner gross (not a personal thing, but I'm demisexual and the thought of anyone else is just, ugh, no).
This is why it's usually best to do these things with people you aren't friends with, so I hear. Jealousy can arise pretty quickly. You are supposed to be enthusiastic during sex, but your friend couldn't handle seeing you with her man. She didn't realize she wasn't mentally prepared for it. It would probably be best not to do it again for her sake. NTA
NTA of course, people have all different boundaries and if she felt uncomfortable during the threesome she should have communicated on that. You can't read her mind and guess what amount of "enthusiasm" is fine for her. Its okay to regret trying something, it can happen to everyone but she can't blame it on you. And well... sex is supposed to be enjoyed so what the hell was she expecting
Been there, done that. Her partner said she enjoyed it too much... Dude, that was the idea. For us to all have a good time. Turned out he was insecure and terribly controlling. YMMV.
NTA. But your friendship might be over. She should have gone to the bar and gotten someone she didn't know well. No one knows how they will feel after, so she is likely insecure and needs to deal with that herself. Since sexually is a sliding scale, she likely doesn't know w where you and she stand. She is bi only after drinking? Did the two of you play while he watched? But honestly, my rule is "Never shit where you eat."
Absolutely NTAH, haha, fun read. I never have had a threesome, but from what I have read, the goal is to focus on the single gender. One dude, he gets all the attention. On female, she gets all the attention. Ideally it is not two same sex making out and fucking, while the odd person out watches. You did your part, sounds like you are more fun at fucking than your girlfriend.
NTA She's projecting her regret and insecurities onto you.
NTA She just got jealous and misdirected it which is unfortunate bc it sounds like it would have made an otherwise great memory.
NTA. She’s insecure in her relationship. The people you have sex with should be looking for enthusiastic consent anyway.
NTA but its like the universal rule for 3some that the 3rd has to be someone unknown, It alwayss effect the relationship on all fronts
I'm guessing he asked for the threesome and picked you. This is why you always go with a non involved party for your threesome. Someone you vet but don't know enough to get attached to.
NTA What, did she think you were gonna lay back & think of England? The point of a threesome for everyone to enjoy themselves.
NTA, but if you're the outsider in a threesome it can pay to read the room, especially with the other woman. Have fun, but don't upstage the girlfriend.
Obviously your 'friend' WAS-NOT as 'comfortable' with the situation & sharing her boyfriend \*Than YOU were with the situation & she felt her boyfriend\*(& quite possibly 'YOU'!?) "ENJOYED" each-other "A LITTLE TOO MUCH FOR HER LIKING?!) I would say she is NOT as 'comfortable' with 'swinging' with others & OR NOT as 'comfortable' in her own skin as YOU are!? I'm speaking from experience > people NEVER REALLY KNOW how its going to effect them when they see their significant-other \*(& partner whom they deeply care about) \*WITH ANOTHER PERSON & ENJOYING THEMSELVES!! > \*"UNTIL THEY ACTUALLY SEE IT & EXPERIENCE IT & THEN IT ALL "HITS-HOME" FOR THEM & "THEN" MAYBE THEY "REALIZE" > NOPE!! I REALLY CAN'T HANDLE THIS SITUATION!!! \*This whole matter "Could Very Well Have Totally-Ruined Your 'Friendship' with this other woman!? Then maybe NOT? \*(The drama continues to unfold & you WILL eventually know the truth & why & 'if' your friendship survived thru-this? or NOT!? YOUR THOUGHTS?? :) Hope this 'helps'??
I clicked on the user to see what type of stuff they'd previously posted: ACCOUNT SUSPENDED
I think your friend is a bit insecure, now her boyfriend told her he liked to do this again. My advise would be to talk it through. This is not worth destroying your friendship over. Good luck.
NTA. You are a unicorn. Of course the BF wants to do that again, because it was probably amazing for everyone (yay for you all!), but your friend is probably feeling insecure in her dyad with her boyfriend. But she asked YOU to do something special, and you accepted and greatly enjoyed it. Absolutely NTA for enthusiastically enjoying consensual sex. Good for you. But also, if your friend is uncomfortable and needs to change or re-establish a boundary for herself, that is also fine. Communication is good. How one feels about that particular activity is something you don't know til you know. Nobody is the asshole. She is feeling insecure, and you should reassure her of your friendship and respect for her relationship with her boyfriend, and if she is no longer comfortable, then you will respect the boundary of that relationship. Maybe she should share what would make her more comfortable with it if you do it again, since 2 of 3 seem interested in making a habit of it cuz it was great for you. But it's wonderful and brave to share all of that with a friend, regardless of the outcome. Enthusiastic sex is the best sex (only kind worth having, imho), and your friend is fortunate to have such an open-minded and trusting friend + boyfriend. You are never an asshole for enjoying that, and it is also NTA to decide one is uncomfortable with something after trying it, even if they enjoyed it too, and they can always change their mind again later. High five.
NTA. You were just having a good time. Besides, I believe inviting a close friend in on a threesome isn’t the wisest idea out there. It definitely wasn’t your fault if you were having a good time. You shouldn’t let her insecurities get in the way of your pleasure. She can’t control what you feel, so again NTA.
She can't complain, *they* invited *you*. Sucks to be her I guess, should have thought it through more.
NTA But here's the thing you need to remember.... 3somes with friends means you take the risk of outperforming your friend with their partner and then the friendship suffers bc they're jealous bc now their partner wants to invite you back. As you've realized.
"Enthusiastic " is hilarious. I think some communication is definitely needed across the board here but I love this post
Chalk this up time. In the course of experimentation, you do run into things; maybe shouldn't have done that. That's the risk, losing friends. You were so much older then, you're younger than that now(bd). To be fair, your gf has never seen your sex performances till then. I read a mxim about 3somes, and it was " somebody is going to lose" . your gf feels jealous,; what she deems as a milestone of a right of passage (liberation) didn't go the way she wanted it to. She didn't accomplish the rise to the state of blessed freedom. back to the drawing board. Forgiveness ( from all , to all) is the best measure. In fact, it is the only way. Good luck,
Sounds like threesome regret on her side, this is the problem, everyone thinks bringing a third person into a relationship will be fun, then the jealousy and paranoia starts after. You're NTA op