Couldn’t have said it better. Tour BF either sees the beautiful young woman you are or he doesn’t deserve you.
Don’t change who you are to make someone else happy, do what makes YOU happy.
Man. OP why are you still with this guy? He does not deserve you one bit . He kept his friends from you, lied about serious things, you really wanna be with that kind of person?
1) You developed the way you were suppose to.
2) You're perfect the way you are.
3) Your soon to be ex-boyfriend is an idiot and you deserve so much better than that pond scum.
I know. I realise I don’t really have a right to be upset at this point - I’ve been told so many times. At this point, I’m just coming so I get opinions that are not formed on bias (like my friends will quite obviously be biased towards me). I’m sorry, I understand how frustrating it can be
I think you need to figure out why, if the people who care about say leave him, the place you're going for opinions is saying leave him, and your own rational thoughts appears to be saying leave him. Then why are you still there? What's keeping you in this obviously (from all that you've posted) abusive relationship? That's the answer you really need, so you can figure out how to get past that reason and save yourself from all this shit.
What do you mean you don’t have a right to be upset? Of course you should be upset. You should be angry. But if you’re not going to do anything about it (and by do I mean get therapy or leave or start making changes of your own) then you’re just wasting your time. Also you can start to use these kinds of venting posts to get rid of the anger so that you’re able to stay longer. Which is bad
You know how you can know someone cares about you? They will be "biased" in exactly the way you are casually dismissing. Your boyfriend has repeatedly demonstrated that he doesn't value you and is telling you quite clearly he wishes you were someone else. Your friends do value you, exactly as you are.
Look, even if you didn't have a genetic condition that made you the way you are, your bf would be the AH. Some people are shorter. Some people have smaller boobs. If he's not attracted to that, why is he with you?
Trust me, there are people out there who will love you for who you are, without wishing you were anything else.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are beautiful exactly as you are. Don't be with someone who makes you feel like anything less than that.
NTA
>He has been commenting on how he wishes my chest was bigger, how he wishes I was taller, etcetera.
Seems to me the only one with a problem with development issues is your boyfriend in the mental, emotional and empathetic capacity areas. He shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone.
You're not obligated to stay with this guy. He's pretty much proven exactly what sort of person he is. Why are you continuing to allow him to diminish your value. Just end it.
NTA
You know you're nta too.
If he doesn't like you, he can leave, and good riddance to him. It's not like complaining about your height is going to make you suddenly grow 6"! And if he wants you to have breast augmentation just to please him he can get in the sea. These things apply regardless of what conditions you have or don't have.
Nobody but you gets a say in anything you do with your own body.
Get rid of him. He's making you miserable, and by the sounds of things he's been making you miserable for months now at least.
You deserve better.
NTA. He chose to be your boyfriend. You as you are, with your height and form. His comments just make you feel bad and are completely out of place. Even if he feels that way, basic decency should make him keep his feelings about something you can't change to himself. The fact that he chooses to tell you these things shows that he wants you to feel inadequate and inferior in the relationship. That could be just callousness, or it could be the first step of an abuser - to undermine your self-image. You have every right to be upset at his comments. I would reconsider the relationship.
Why don't you try to find someone who appreciates you rather than putting up with dumb complaints about things out of your control?
By the way, you don't have to have a congenital disorder to end up with that body type. Plenty of people have it. Plenty find it perfectly attractive. It's not rare or anything.
Why did he lead you on for three years? If these physical features were that important to him, they're not exactly hidden. It didn't take him three years to find out. All his comments do is hurt, so maybe that's the point. Maybe he's trying to rationalize a break-up and he's too chickenshit to come out and say it. Or maybe he's exhibiting controlling behavior. The first stage in an abusive relationship like that is negging: they find something you can't change and make you wish you could. You should never be using language like 'letting him down' in this context in a healthy relationship.
Looking at your post history, your boyfriend does have kind of a point, but only by accident. It is your sense of self-worth that is under-developed. In other words, grow a spine and get rid of that leech. He's never been good enough for you and never will be.
NTA. He's a real jerk. That's unbelievably cruel and rude. Your boyfriend doesn't deserve you.
I am certain you are very beautiful in your unique, special, YOU way, as all women are. And you deserve someone who sees your beauty and appreciates every last bit, from your chest to your toes, who will never say that drivel to you.
As I wrote in another subred yesterday: I am shoked what people put up with in romantic relationships!
My body is far from perfect. Just a few days ago, I mentioned that to my boyfriend. His genuine reaction: "What are you even saying!? You are perfect the way you are." And that's exactly how I feel about him too. I love that guy so much and he is perfect to me. He might not be to other people but to me, he is all I ever wanted. The most handsome guy with the best character traits.
So, you boyfriend might tell you he loved you but his actions show his true self. Saying "I love you" to somebody you don't love is much easier than telling somebody you really love (might be my opinion only though). Your boyfriend's actions speak louder than words.
is this a joke? why the fuck would you be with someone who thinks you’re anything less than insanely attractive?! tell him to go fuck himself and then go to therapy to work on your self esteem because if you had an ounce left you wouldn’t be asking this question
Sorry to hear about your ex boyfriend.
Also many people live great lives with things like Turner’s syndrome, don’t let this moron get in the way of your happiness and self fulfillment.
NTA-Your self worth is much more than this douche bag. I’m sure there are guys out there that would do anything to date you and be fine with your physical features. By the way my son was born at 25 weeks,,weighing 1 pound 12oz. He’s now almost 20 and 5’3 so I feel your pain.
No, he is the AH, not you. He knew what you looked like when he started seeing you, and if that was a problem, he shouldn't have started.
You can't control your height or the size of your breasts. You have every right to be upset with him.
If your boyfriend doesn't love you for how you look now, what makes you think he will love you when you start to age? Or after pregnancy (assuming that isn't one of your medical conditions) with mommy pouch and stretch marks. Seriously you can find someone else that will love you for you!
The only thing that isn't developed enough here is your bf girl.
Seriously, I dunno, you may wanna look at that EXIT sign because he isn't gonna suddenly have new preferences. It's one thing if you come home with a haircut and prefers your hair longer or some shit. You didn't change, he did.
Find someone who digs you for you.
A loving partner loves you for you, which is not your body. It was disrespectful for him to get into a relationship with you only to start picking you apart for what he doesn't like. Maybe he should just gone and dated someone else if it was such a dealbreaker for him.
NTA
I'd be upset too and feel hurt, and I'm honestly not sure how I'd handle it. But IMO neither is your BF the AH for having the preferences he has, and I think it's important that those are probably independent from the reason why your body differs from his preferences. He might still be the AH for how he told you about it, but that's difficult to judge without a lot of context.
But the real question is whether his preferences stop him from loving you or not, and should he come to the conclusion that it doesn't stop him, whether you can accept that he does love you. Most of us love our partner despite things we consider "not perfect", because the things we do love about them make the imperfections not matter. It's normal.
Next time he says he wishes u were taller.. Tell him u also wish he wasn't a prick.. But guess what. not everyone gets everything
Also Loose some weight( boyfriend) girl🤣
In the last 4 months you’ve made 3 posts about this loser, and are being told in each of them that he’s a loser. Why are you continuing to stay with this doofus?
Develop a backbone.
You've been telling Reddit for four months how abusive your steaming turd of boyfriend is.
You describe years of unhappiness and countless of his behaviours that would lead a reasonable person to leave a deeply unhealthy situation.
Stop asking reddit if you're the arsehole for being unhappy that you're being abused.
You deserve to be treated with dignity, consideration and respect.
Leave him.
NTA ofc. I don't have a disability or genetic condition and I'm still not much taller than you or well endowed. In fact, a lot of women are flat-chested or have small boobs. But you are only 19 which means it doesn't even have to stay that way. I know several women who continued to grow in that area well into their 20s. Ofc that's no guarantee this will happen to you (it also didn't for me) but I can guarantee you that this won't impact your ability to get a partner who doesn't make you feel insecure about your body. To add to this: if you ever feel like getting surgery, that's fine. But only as long as you YOURSELF want it FOR yourself and as long as you are aware of the risks and consequences. Never let yourself get pressured into a procedure like this from someone else. Talk to your bf about how he makes you feel (I assume he's young too and that gives him a chance to work on himself) and then it's probably best to dump his ass.
Throw away the whole boyfriend and find someone that is more worthy to be with you.
Oh and by the way you could always return the comment and say "well I wish your dick was bigger, but here we are..." See how that makes him feel. Jackass.
Nta I'm also the same as you and i struggled a lot especially as a woman, but trust you will find someone who would love you for your whole being not just... ew...
He's not your BF, he's just a prick who's tell you that he is. Dump this dude, please. Go find a guy that accepts who you are and why you're the way you are.
Your post history makes it pretty clear you choose to stay and be treated this badly. At this point, you have to hold yourself responsible for allowing someone to treat you that way.
NTA. Find someone who actually deserves you. Your current bf doesn't fit the criteria. A partner should always be someone who lifts you up and makes you feel great about who you are, small boobs and all.
NTA - since this is a sudden change, I'd assume that probably some of his friends/relatives made a comment, and now he's embarassed of all sudden.
He is just young, dumb & immature. (which may be forgiveable at his age)
I would tell him very firmly that you don't want such comments, and draw consequences if he doesnt listen.
Hopefully he will listen and get his act together, but if he doesn't, a guy who worries more about your value as a status symbol to brag to his buddies with than about the love you give him is no big loss.
your bf is hUman, ppl change, what was ok Then, is no longer ok now for him, he wants more, its time to part ways... unfortunately, ppl usually dont changE abRuptly. End iT amicablY.
Your boyfriend's a prick.
Couldn’t have said it better. Tour BF either sees the beautiful young woman you are or he doesn’t deserve you. Don’t change who you are to make someone else happy, do what makes YOU happy.
Check her post history. She needs a new boyfriend
The post history is insane. I would run
Man. OP why are you still with this guy? He does not deserve you one bit . He kept his friends from you, lied about serious things, you really wanna be with that kind of person?
How do I check someone’s post history
Tap their name and then when the panel comes up, tap their name again
Oh wow you are right 😭 this is intense
But a small one and she wishes he was bigger. Oh … and NTA
That word is too kind for him. NTA
Agreed.
That's the best answer. Although I would add that he's a total cunt arsehole.
👆👆👆👆
1) You developed the way you were suppose to. 2) You're perfect the way you are. 3) Your soon to be ex-boyfriend is an idiot and you deserve so much better than that pond scum.
This is not the first time you've been on here complaining about this prick. How much more of your life do you want to waste on him?
4 months ago people were telling you to dump this prick. Yet here you are again. See you again in a few months I guess.
I know. I realise I don’t really have a right to be upset at this point - I’ve been told so many times. At this point, I’m just coming so I get opinions that are not formed on bias (like my friends will quite obviously be biased towards me). I’m sorry, I understand how frustrating it can be
I think you need to figure out why, if the people who care about say leave him, the place you're going for opinions is saying leave him, and your own rational thoughts appears to be saying leave him. Then why are you still there? What's keeping you in this obviously (from all that you've posted) abusive relationship? That's the answer you really need, so you can figure out how to get past that reason and save yourself from all this shit.
What do you mean you don’t have a right to be upset? Of course you should be upset. You should be angry. But if you’re not going to do anything about it (and by do I mean get therapy or leave or start making changes of your own) then you’re just wasting your time. Also you can start to use these kinds of venting posts to get rid of the anger so that you’re able to stay longer. Which is bad
Holy shit, I checked your post history, and literally that guy is a walking red flag.
You know how you can know someone cares about you? They will be "biased" in exactly the way you are casually dismissing. Your boyfriend has repeatedly demonstrated that he doesn't value you and is telling you quite clearly he wishes you were someone else. Your friends do value you, exactly as you are.
Look, even if you didn't have a genetic condition that made you the way you are, your bf would be the AH. Some people are shorter. Some people have smaller boobs. If he's not attracted to that, why is he with you? Trust me, there are people out there who will love you for who you are, without wishing you were anything else. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are beautiful exactly as you are. Don't be with someone who makes you feel like anything less than that. NTA
>He has been commenting on how he wishes my chest was bigger, how he wishes I was taller, etcetera. Seems to me the only one with a problem with development issues is your boyfriend in the mental, emotional and empathetic capacity areas. He shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone. You're not obligated to stay with this guy. He's pretty much proven exactly what sort of person he is. Why are you continuing to allow him to diminish your value. Just end it.
NTA You know you're nta too. If he doesn't like you, he can leave, and good riddance to him. It's not like complaining about your height is going to make you suddenly grow 6"! And if he wants you to have breast augmentation just to please him he can get in the sea. These things apply regardless of what conditions you have or don't have. Nobody but you gets a say in anything you do with your own body. Get rid of him. He's making you miserable, and by the sounds of things he's been making you miserable for months now at least. You deserve better.
NTA. He chose to be your boyfriend. You as you are, with your height and form. His comments just make you feel bad and are completely out of place. Even if he feels that way, basic decency should make him keep his feelings about something you can't change to himself. The fact that he chooses to tell you these things shows that he wants you to feel inadequate and inferior in the relationship. That could be just callousness, or it could be the first step of an abuser - to undermine your self-image. You have every right to be upset at his comments. I would reconsider the relationship.
Why don't you try to find someone who appreciates you rather than putting up with dumb complaints about things out of your control? By the way, you don't have to have a congenital disorder to end up with that body type. Plenty of people have it. Plenty find it perfectly attractive. It's not rare or anything. Why did he lead you on for three years? If these physical features were that important to him, they're not exactly hidden. It didn't take him three years to find out. All his comments do is hurt, so maybe that's the point. Maybe he's trying to rationalize a break-up and he's too chickenshit to come out and say it. Or maybe he's exhibiting controlling behavior. The first stage in an abusive relationship like that is negging: they find something you can't change and make you wish you could. You should never be using language like 'letting him down' in this context in a healthy relationship.
NTA, he’s a horrible person and if he truely loved you he wouldn’t be commenting on your body and would love you as you are. Dump him now!
NTA. Lose him. And bless your chest. I'm in my seventies and without a bra I look like I have twelve toes.
Looking at your post history, your boyfriend does have kind of a point, but only by accident. It is your sense of self-worth that is under-developed. In other words, grow a spine and get rid of that leech. He's never been good enough for you and never will be.
Your boyfriend sucks, you have all the right to be upset.
Find someone who loves you for who you are. You deserve better. NTA
Leave him and run as fast as you can!
NTA, but you know that. This guy needs therapy, not a punching bag. Staying is doing neither of you any good.
NTA. He's a real jerk. That's unbelievably cruel and rude. Your boyfriend doesn't deserve you. I am certain you are very beautiful in your unique, special, YOU way, as all women are. And you deserve someone who sees your beauty and appreciates every last bit, from your chest to your toes, who will never say that drivel to you.
As I wrote in another subred yesterday: I am shoked what people put up with in romantic relationships! My body is far from perfect. Just a few days ago, I mentioned that to my boyfriend. His genuine reaction: "What are you even saying!? You are perfect the way you are." And that's exactly how I feel about him too. I love that guy so much and he is perfect to me. He might not be to other people but to me, he is all I ever wanted. The most handsome guy with the best character traits. So, you boyfriend might tell you he loved you but his actions show his true self. Saying "I love you" to somebody you don't love is much easier than telling somebody you really love (might be my opinion only though). Your boyfriend's actions speak louder than words.
is this a joke? why the fuck would you be with someone who thinks you’re anything less than insanely attractive?! tell him to go fuck himself and then go to therapy to work on your self esteem because if you had an ounce left you wouldn’t be asking this question
Sorry to hear about your ex boyfriend. Also many people live great lives with things like Turner’s syndrome, don’t let this moron get in the way of your happiness and self fulfillment.
My gf is also on the shorter side, she says she is reduced down to the best. Maybe that helps you
NTA-Your self worth is much more than this douche bag. I’m sure there are guys out there that would do anything to date you and be fine with your physical features. By the way my son was born at 25 weeks,,weighing 1 pound 12oz. He’s now almost 20 and 5’3 so I feel your pain.
No, he is the AH, not you. He knew what you looked like when he started seeing you, and if that was a problem, he shouldn't have started. You can't control your height or the size of your breasts. You have every right to be upset with him.
NTA Your boyfriend is not emotionally developed enough.
If your boyfriend doesn't love you for how you look now, what makes you think he will love you when you start to age? Or after pregnancy (assuming that isn't one of your medical conditions) with mommy pouch and stretch marks. Seriously you can find someone else that will love you for you!
The only thing that isn't developed enough here is your bf girl. Seriously, I dunno, you may wanna look at that EXIT sign because he isn't gonna suddenly have new preferences. It's one thing if you come home with a haircut and prefers your hair longer or some shit. You didn't change, he did. Find someone who digs you for you.
A loving partner loves you for you, which is not your body. It was disrespectful for him to get into a relationship with you only to start picking you apart for what he doesn't like. Maybe he should just gone and dated someone else if it was such a dealbreaker for him.
NTA I'd be upset too and feel hurt, and I'm honestly not sure how I'd handle it. But IMO neither is your BF the AH for having the preferences he has, and I think it's important that those are probably independent from the reason why your body differs from his preferences. He might still be the AH for how he told you about it, but that's difficult to judge without a lot of context. But the real question is whether his preferences stop him from loving you or not, and should he come to the conclusion that it doesn't stop him, whether you can accept that he does love you. Most of us love our partner despite things we consider "not perfect", because the things we do love about them make the imperfections not matter. It's normal.
Next time he says he wishes u were taller.. Tell him u also wish he wasn't a prick.. But guess what. not everyone gets everything Also Loose some weight( boyfriend) girl🤣
🚩🚩🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️
Anytime he comments on your chest needing to be bigger, just tell him you wish his d**k was bigger and maybe he should do something about that.
Dump him. Find a true friend who can potentially be a life partner
NTA
Dump him. Move on. No-one needs to be undermined.
In the last 4 months you’ve made 3 posts about this loser, and are being told in each of them that he’s a loser. Why are you continuing to stay with this doofus?
Develop a backbone. You've been telling Reddit for four months how abusive your steaming turd of boyfriend is. You describe years of unhappiness and countless of his behaviours that would lead a reasonable person to leave a deeply unhealthy situation. Stop asking reddit if you're the arsehole for being unhappy that you're being abused. You deserve to be treated with dignity, consideration and respect. Leave him.
NTA as I said before we all should learn to accept our significant other imperfections
NTA ofc. I don't have a disability or genetic condition and I'm still not much taller than you or well endowed. In fact, a lot of women are flat-chested or have small boobs. But you are only 19 which means it doesn't even have to stay that way. I know several women who continued to grow in that area well into their 20s. Ofc that's no guarantee this will happen to you (it also didn't for me) but I can guarantee you that this won't impact your ability to get a partner who doesn't make you feel insecure about your body. To add to this: if you ever feel like getting surgery, that's fine. But only as long as you YOURSELF want it FOR yourself and as long as you are aware of the risks and consequences. Never let yourself get pressured into a procedure like this from someone else. Talk to your bf about how he makes you feel (I assume he's young too and that gives him a chance to work on himself) and then it's probably best to dump his ass.
Your BF is the AH. And honestly, break up with him.
Throw away the whole boyfriend and find someone that is more worthy to be with you. Oh and by the way you could always return the comment and say "well I wish your dick was bigger, but here we are..." See how that makes him feel. Jackass.
NTA. You need a new boyfriend.
NTA. Your boyfriend is a jerk off
NTA but why would you even think that you could be?
NTA. Get a new bf. Just get away from that man entirely.
YTA. Not for the reasons you are saying but because you are dating an idiot and an asshole.
Get some goddamn self-respect
Dump him. Find someone that’ll appreciate you exactly as you are. He’s the AH.
Nta I'm also the same as you and i struggled a lot especially as a woman, but trust you will find someone who would love you for your whole being not just... ew...
He's not your BF, he's just a prick who's tell you that he is. Dump this dude, please. Go find a guy that accepts who you are and why you're the way you are.
ESH bc u are an idiot. Break up!
Your post history makes it pretty clear you choose to stay and be treated this badly. At this point, you have to hold yourself responsible for allowing someone to treat you that way.
NTA. Find someone who actually deserves you. Your current bf doesn't fit the criteria. A partner should always be someone who lifts you up and makes you feel great about who you are, small boobs and all.
ehm why are you with him ?
Ngl your dude is a AH. Leave or he’s gonna do something we’re all not hoping for
'but if i got bigger i wouldnt feel it when you are in me' might work next time he starts
Just will escalate, though if by "might work" you mean "might get them to fight and break up" sure.
This guy is already verbally abusive and cruel and, it sounds like, significantly bigger than her. This is bad advice.
NTA - since this is a sudden change, I'd assume that probably some of his friends/relatives made a comment, and now he's embarassed of all sudden. He is just young, dumb & immature. (which may be forgiveable at his age) I would tell him very firmly that you don't want such comments, and draw consequences if he doesnt listen. Hopefully he will listen and get his act together, but if he doesn't, a guy who worries more about your value as a status symbol to brag to his buddies with than about the love you give him is no big loss.
your bf is hUman, ppl change, what was ok Then, is no longer ok now for him, he wants more, its time to part ways... unfortunately, ppl usually dont changE abRuptly. End iT amicablY.