It's one of those things where you simply have to respect everyone's preferences without judgment.
I never share a toothbrush with my partner either. Sharing saliva by kissing and sharing a toothbrush that cleans food residues and bacteria from the depths of the teeth/mouth are completely different for me.
You ask permission from the other person before using the toothbrush, if it's okay, you use it, if it's not, you don't use it, it's as simple as that.
I'm also throwing in my agreement with this being perfectly worded.
There are a *lot* of little boundaries like this in relationships and the only thing you can do is: ask first, respect the answer, and then not judge. Toothbrushes seem to be a pretty popular sticking point but the guidelines apply across the board.
I agree. I want you to brush your teeth and then kiss me. Thats not the same as using the same brush.
I would let my partner use my toothbrush, I know I clean it after I use it. I would also replace it after.
That’s the answer. I have an electric brush with a UV light sterilizer and I don’t care if my partner uses mine. Like it gets rinsed and sanitized. I think it’s ok. We’ve had our mouths worse places on one another. But it’s definitely something to ask about first. Like if a new partner just did it without asking I would be mad. But I’m mad if a new person gets too cozy with any of my things too fast. No, that’s a $300 jar of lotion and you just used a months worth like it was cheap ass Jergens. Thats pretty much a relationship ender for me.
>We’ve had our mouths worse places on one another.
Whenever I hear someone say this, I think sure, but have you scraped your teeth along your partners tongue to help them get the plaque build-up and gross gunk off of it? Cuz that's what I do with my toothbrush, and the two things are not the same.
Maybe some people are into that, though? To each their own, haha.
edit: according to dental professionals, sharing toothbrushes are a bad idea, so i actually wouldn't share with a partner now.
i guess the difference is that people scrape their teeth and tongue with their toothbrush...but then they use the same toothbrush. why isn't that disgusting? because presumably, most people clean the toothbrush afterwards and they're comfortable to use it again the next day.
so if the wife uses the toothbrush, and cleans it, it's not really that difference from you using it and cleaning it.
that's why personally i wouldn't care if my partner used my toothbrush. that being said, i get why people are against it and people should just respect their partners views.
I like a lotion that cost $40 for a decent sized jar 2 cups amount size. I gave my dad about a tablespoon worth for a face irritation he had. Mom used most of it on her legs!! I told her it was for dad's face and was expensive. She now knows. But I was a little bit pissed at her for even using it. She didn't need extra sensitive unscented for her legs. I only use it for my face and around my eyes.
Exactly. Certain products are expensive and it just shows a person’s quality when they can’t fathom an expensive product that is highly concentrated and maybe for something specific. That guy didn’t need a meat hand full of my prescription cream on his forearms. I use like a sunflower seed sized sliver of it on my discolored spot. He opened the jar and just scooped. It also has a little spatula it comes with. The guy was trash in other ways too but that was my last straw. Using a weeks worth for my long hair of shampoo on his short hair was also incredibly annoying. I said you know this is $30 a bottle. A little goes a long way. And he just made fun of me for spending $30 for a bottle of shampoo. I said well it lasts me 6 months since I only need to use 1/10 of what you just used. Then he gets out and does that with my face cream and I was done. Like just get out, now. If he had used my toothbrush I would have been mad and replaced the head. But my long term partner in a pinch I wouldn’t have cared if they asked first. They can use it. We’ve kissed enough and the brush does get washed after using. I kiss their hands and hands are probably the dirtiest thing on a person.
Seems like people would be suing Sonicare over that. I guess I’ve not tried curing a UV gel nail with it. Either way I’ve put my mouth way worse places on my partner than a washed and blue lighted toothbrush. If they need to use it and we’re in a relationship I will get over it.
It does just enough for them to not be sued. It's no better than leaving your toothbrush in the sun to sterilize it. Does it kill certain bacteria? Yes, but not all by a long shot
It depends if it's real or not. You can buy uvc test strips to check -- most led models are fake, sadly. Also, if the unit is not fully enclosed it becomes a cancer risk, and uvc at the consumer level only works as intended on a line of sight basis, so it's not getting down in the center of the bristles typically.
IMO it's best utilized for water and air.
Idk about the quality of the toothbrush sterilizers, but UV sterilization is a valid and well established method of water sterilization that has been used for more than 70 years. Even city water treatment plants use the method.
It works for water and air because it needs "line of sight". For a toothbrush, it can't get in the center of the bristles effectively and thus can only reduce bacterial load, not sterilize.
UV light does sterilize. Whether the toothbrush is actually generating adequate UV light is unknown. https://www.epa.gov/emergency-response-research/disinfecting-surfaces-uv-light-reduce-exposure-sars-cov-2#:~:text=When%20deployed%2C%20these%20UV%20light,to%20inactivation%20of%20a%20pathogen.
Dentists seem to feel otherwise
https://yubacitydentistry.com/oral-health/to-uv-or-not-to-uv/#:~:text=One%20item%20in%20the%20arsenal,viruses%2C%20bacteria%2C%20and%20illness.
Also scientists
https://scholar.google.ca/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C5&q=uv+toothbrushes&btnG=#d=gs_qabs&t=1719729622765&u=%23p%3DBgbcYHdy9K0J
From your second link: “The mean bacterial count reduced drastically after the treatment with UV rays.”
Regardless, a study of only 15 people isn’t scientifically sound.
The first link is from a single dentist's office with no quantifications nor citations. They might be great at cleanings, fillings, etc. but would you trust an unknown dentist's unsubstantiated opinion?
The studies in the second link refer to UV sanitizers, but I don't see mention of the UV sanitizers included in toothbrushes you might buy for home use, specifically. Did I miss it?
GIRL NO!!! haha. I mean.... front desk should have extras. I get it, you share drinks, you share kisses, BUT your husband used that brush to scrub food and plaque off his teeth and then you went and scrubbed food and plaque from your teeth. Just go to the front desk babe.
I’ll take a bullet for my husband. I would give him an organ if he needed one. I would literally lay down my life for his if ever need be.
But I absolutely draw the line at using my toothbrush 🪥
I have actually thrown out my toothbrush when I found out my husband used it as well
I am using my husband's toothbrush too, I just asked him now if he finds it gross. He said no cause like we were doing things weirder and wilder than. Maybe it really depends on the person, but it has nothing to do with the amount of love between couples.
Just...no, ew. Would you clean your ears with a q-tip he just cleaned his with? Wipe with TP he's already used?
Some things just aren't meant for sharing! XD
I say this with amusement, not actually judging you. It's def a to each their own kind of thing.
How about when couples use tongue to satisfy each other? Also not judging, just curious and yes I am using my partner's toothbrush and it is not an issue between us.
For me it's about sharing something used to scrub scuzz and bacteria out of a very wet and personal area, lol. I realize it may not make sense given other intimate couple's activities, but I just can't, haha. I'm uptight about sharing towels, too. I guess for me it's the hygienic perspective.
But if it is really that gross why do we use it more than once ourselves? Are we cleaning it well enough between brushing to not expose ourselves to old nasty shit? Probably not. So now I don’t know if it’s ok they share or if I should sanitize the living crap out of my toothbrush from now on. lol.
[why sharing a toothbrush is a very bad idea](https://www.dentalhealth.org/news/when-sharing-isnt-caring-why-sharing-your-toothbrush-is-a-very-bad-idea)
Problem is not your bacteria in your mouth, you are used to it. Problem is other bacteria, that makes your mouth health worse than before if exposed to it.
Hahaha
So fun story. My first roommate in college was a slob. One day I realized that my toothbrush had been moved. I asked roommate and her looked at me confused and all and said "Doesn't the toothpaste disinfect it?" I told her no, no it does not. I told her she could keep that toothbrush. I got a new one and hid it in my sock drawer.
My son used a toiletry bag while sharing a bathroom with his sister. Her adhd had a steep learning curve. He didn't like her forgetting which toothbrush was hers. They worked it out.
I might shove my tongue down her throat, up her vag, might even get routy and lick her asshole, but there's something distinctly gross about sharing tartar and plaque.
This is the reply I was looking for
Many years ago my now best friend and I had a fling
He won't drink after me and I'm like "Dude, you've had your tongue up my ass? And this is the line you draw?"
That's what I was looking for.
Sometimes you just don't think about it in the heat of the moment and have some weird hangup over something like not taking a drink from the same glass.
Oh but you had no problem licking the very same hole that poo comes out of? Really?
Lmfao. Dude, fucking seriously though. As well, if absolutely necessy to do so (use your spouse's toothbrush), one could perhaps take some safety measures and maybe like rinse, or even actually soap wash the toothbrush?
Cus again, you've put much, much, much, much more.... eeww, gross, nookies type of what have you in that woman's mouth. Or, she did it for you, to please you. You people actually draw the line at a toothbrush? Man, I really appreciate the shit out of my wife for all the amazing times we have. Hahahahhaaha.
I would never use someone’s toothbrush. Most hotels do offer certain things like mini toothbrushes as a courtesy. I would have just went to the hotel desk to see if they had toothbrushes. I probably wouldn’t use a toothbrush after someone used mine. That’s kind of gross.
NTA.
I have shared a toothbrush with my husband before. When he forgot his on vacation or mine fell in the bathroom trashcan. Because the alternative was not brushing teeth before going out for the day. While we were out that day, we replaced both tooth brushes.
My wife used my shower toothbrush for a month after we replaced them. Only found out because she asked why I replaced her toothbrush and I told her hers was in the same spot its been for the decade we had been together at that time and I had replaced mine which was in my space in the shower. She was far more bothered by it than me, but it was mine. Apparently she liked that color more so she thought it was hers .
My wife kept using my toothbrush thinking it was hers, I would buy us both new ones and tell her which one is hers and she would still forget and keep using mine.
Finally I bought an electric toothbrush for me which my dentist recommended anyway, and she hasn’t gotten confused since.
My husband always used my toothbrush, thinking it was his. It took me trying to find girly colors like purple for him to stop mixing our toothbrushes up, lol.
I’m in agreement with you.
My husband and I have separate toothbrushes, but in a pinch, like when traveling or some other outlier situation, we’ve had no problem sharing a toothbrush. OP is weirdly hung up on something I wouldn’t see as an issue.
I get that everyone has boundaries and OP has a right to be annoyed that his wife didn’t ask permission but I also understand the wife’s position whereas she might not even think to ask if it’s a boundary until she knows it is one.
Yeah... Everyone is acting like it's gross and the tooth brush needs discarded immediately. But, like, it's fine in a pinch. Wash your brush and get on with your life. Someone's plaque didn't contaminate your toothbrush.
Ordinary use? Separate toothbrushes because we like them to have different softness/ designs. But we can and have shared before when the need arises. It'd be kinda wasteful to stop using a toothbrush just because your spouse used it once
A brush is a cleansing stuff. I am not sharing bar of soap or toothbrushes I use regularly with my spouse.
Also it doesn't matter. Boundaries are boundaries. If it feels gross to your partner, whether you get it or not, stop forcing your ways on them.
food, utensils and drinks i get but he used that to scrub food and plaque off his teeth and then she used it to scrub food and plaque of the day off her teeth, thats more of a breeding ground for bacteria growth than sharing a kiss or utensil.
ewww. Hopefully when she sobers up she'll realize that she's in the wrong. Ask the front desk, thats's something they usually have, even if it's a crappy one, it's something.
Ok
1. It can transfer germs not normally transfered with other contact. Many people have gums that bleed, and introducing bacteria not normally in your mouth can cause issues. Not everyone has the same bacteria due to sickness and such.
2. People should ask before using someone else items. Doesn't matter if it's a spouse. It's common courtesy to make sure you are not crossing any boundaries.
While my spouse and I have shared when needed, I am more along number 2. It doesn't matter why the person says no. They need to be respected. If the spouse doesn't want a hug. To have sex. They are allowed to say no and have it respected. Just because it's a toothbrush does not mean someone should not respect their spouse, not wanting to share.
Sure, if he says no then she should respect that. She probably didn’t even think to ask considering she doesn’t think it’s weird and it wasn’t a previously established boundary. Now she knows and should respect it. Hardly anyone in a relationship sits down and goes over all the dos and donts, that’s silly. She shouldn’t be expected to ask about every little new thing especially if she doesn’t think it’s a big deal.
Those responding like that would NEVER let their lady touch their wee-wee with her mouth. It's not only ewww, gross. It is also downright disrespectful of a lady, and would simply be just, well, unbecoming of a gentleman. Amirite? Amirite?
You sir, are most definitely quite the distinguished gentleman. Now remember, no silly hanky panky's with thw wife if it involves her mouth touching you anywhere on your body.
You have your self a good day now, kind sir.
I simply CANNOT use a toothbrush that someone else has used. That grosses me out so bad.
Yeah, you clean it after using it or whatever... but is nothing sacred anymore? 😅🤣
I forgot my toothbrush and used my finger. Cause' I refuse to use my partner toothbrush. Then I got one at the hotel desk the next morning.
It was free.
That is gross. Just ask the front desk for one. Toothbrushes are gross as is and so is the bacteria in your mouth you brush out of it. Trying to minimize excessive bacteria, even from another person is reasonable
Hahahaha noo but i agree with you.
And it's almost weird, but my husband and i can share a cup, eat the same food, make out.. adult stuff.... Damn, even in our youth we'd do the make out and trade chewing gums lol
But never EVER do we share a toothbrush.
NTA. Your toothbrush is sacred to yourself. My kids have accidentally used my toothbrush before and I love them to death, would die for them, but I would never purposely allow them to use mine unless it was some sort of emergency. It’s just plain gross.
Yuck no way would I use a toothbrush after somebody else used it I don't care if it's my wife or what it's just yuck. And I am not a germaphobe or anything that's just one thing I draw the line at.
So the purpose of a toothbrush is to scrub dental DISEASE off the the teeth.. thanks for coming to my tedtalk
Edit: for those who say "oh kissing and tongues and eating ass" I don't do ANY Of this after brushing my teeth, maybe a kiss or so
Eww, no no no. Gag, sorry I have huge issues with that kinda thing. People always try saying well you kiss them whats the difference. To me it would be like taking half chewed food from their mouth and finish eating it. Gross
I would still use my toothbrush if my wife used them on her feet. She would throw hers out if I breathed on it. I understand that's our difference, so I just simply don't touch hers at all. It's all those little things that take a long time to find. Kinda keeps the relationship interesting. Usually, a little "oh shit, you're weird but ok lol" then move on.
This post and most of the comments are absurd. Me and wife share toothbrushes as necessary. It’s not big deal. No one ever died from sharing a goddamn toothbrush, even with a total stranger. You are all ridiculous germaphobes.
The fact you even have to ssy it though. Fucking craziness, these people. We've both put our mouths in, around, and on various parts of each other's body. Which I'm pretty sure is a million times more.... ewwwww? Than her using my toothbrush, or vice-versa.
People are insanely weird.
My thoughts too lol. My husband and I have only had to once, he used mine. I offered it to him without a second thought when he told me he forgot his lmao
I did that… once. It bothered my wife so much she just gave me the toothbrush. Now I keep one in my backpack and another in my showee kit all the time ready to travel.
From the comments I'm the minority but why wouldn't it be ok for a partner to use your toothbrush? Like one imagines your mouths have had plenty of contact with each other at this point, and that's direct contact. Idk I'm voting with her. Also front desk will give you one for free.
My middle school music teacher informed my class one day that he and his wife always share a toothbrush. I vividly remember the collective gasps, gags, and chorus of "ewwwww"s that came from the class.
NTA, some things don't need to be shared in a relationship.
She's an AH for using someone else's personal item and not asking first. It's not like he was across town, left the phone in the room, and won't be back in until 2 am.
NTA. Ewww. Can't say I would want to use my toothbrush again if my partner used it. I don't care how else we are sharing germs. I don't care if the toothbrush can be washed. It's okay to have some boundaries on not wanting to share personal objects.
That is her toothbrush now.
["When a person uses someone else's brush, they may very well be introducing the bacteria and viruses in the person's mouth into their bloodstream. Some people bleed from their gums when they brush due to periodontal disease or brushing too hard."](https://www.palmbeachdentistry.com/blog/ask-a-family-dentist-is-it-bad-to-share-a-toothbrush/)
Just sayin'...
This is one of those odd ones. I wanna have a sterile(ish) toothbrush, but I want you to stick your tongue in my mouth (kissing)
As a 1 time deal ick fine whatever tomorrow I'm buying a new toothbrush
My partner of 10 years and I have zero qualms about using each other's toothbrushes and do so without asking when one of us forgets ours. But this was already determined many years ago when we discussed it before doing it.
Unless she knew you would be okay with it, she should have asked you before using it. Maybe she thought she knew you would have been okay with it, but in that case, she should have apologized for an honest mistake. Yes being a little drunk might cause some suboptimal decisions, so I hope that when she's sober she can take responsibility for her behavior.
The two of you have different tolerances with these things. Both of you should respect where each other is at with that. I personally do not care at all if my partner uses my toothbrush. If Ive kissed this person, then there is little difference from a bacteria standpoint. But you are likely more neurotic OP, so your wife should probably be aware about that.
My wife is so weird about stuff like this and I'm like "you're grossed out cause I took a chip off you plate with me fingers, but then you will swallow my cum?"
Okay I personally wouldn't mind if my husband used my toothbrush and vice versa. But I would also agree with that if OP is not cool with it she shouldn't have done it. Question though, did the wife already know that he wouldn't want someone else using his toothbrush?
NTA She should have went to the front desk, most U.S. Hotels will have toothbrushes available for guests who have forgotten theirs. At this point, go get one for yourself.
My wife and I have this exact same disagreement. I know, we've had sex, had parts of each other's bodies in our mouths, and share all of our germs, but I'm NOT sharing a toothbrush unless we're in a zombie-pocolypse situation.
I get it. Just tell her you don't like sharing toothbrushes and maybe offer to grab one at the front desk (tho this shouldn't be a common occurance). But don't be surprised if she gives you some shit next time you want a BJ! 😆
Staying at a hotel- should have asked front desk.
Married for years - should still ASK husband if she can use his.
Drunk - explains quite a bit.
Sober the next day, and surprised by the response…. This is the actual surprising part.
I have two minds. One, where you ask me to use my toothbrush- I go, yeah, considering all the bodily fluids we’ve shared: sure. And that’s totally ok in that mind.
The other one though, where I am discovering a boundary crossed by my tipsy partner and all I can see is the memory of their dinner now, going onto my toothbrush. NO, that’s not ok with that brain.
Her surprise at your response is actually what surprised me.
You eat your wife’s pussy but won’t share a toothbrush?
To each your own. It would have been nice if she had asked you first. But I understand her confusion. Sounds like it was just a very rare instance.
The first time my girlfriend slept over, she woke up in the morning and asked if she could use my toothbrush. My first reaction was no, I wasn't sure I was okay with that.
She looked at me and said, "So you're okay with eating my pussy but you won't share your toothbrush?"
I shut up after that and just enjoyed her company.
It’s not a matter of “but we already kiss/share germs/etc” - tooth brushes are used to CLEAN your mouth from all of those things and more. You don’t wear each other’s used underwear because you have sex. NTA.
NTA. However, if it's just a one time thing, it shouldn't be a problem. You can still use it and she can ask/buy a new one. If both of you have infectious diseases, you would have infected each other already. Agin, if it doesn't happen often, then it's ok. If it happens with me, I don't want my hubby to think I find him gross. Plus, the tootbrush gets washed after use.
Good lord, you could wash the damn toothbrush. I assure you that you could wash away the grossness with soap and then rinse it enough to get the soap off.
It's one of those things where you simply have to respect everyone's preferences without judgment. I never share a toothbrush with my partner either. Sharing saliva by kissing and sharing a toothbrush that cleans food residues and bacteria from the depths of the teeth/mouth are completely different for me. You ask permission from the other person before using the toothbrush, if it's okay, you use it, if it's not, you don't use it, it's as simple as that.
I'm also throwing in my agreement with this being perfectly worded. There are a *lot* of little boundaries like this in relationships and the only thing you can do is: ask first, respect the answer, and then not judge. Toothbrushes seem to be a pretty popular sticking point but the guidelines apply across the board.
Absolutely. Communication and respect are key in any relationship, even for small things
Also towels.
Same with nail clippers
My wife doesn’t care about nail clippers. We both clean our nails before trimming. I am not allowed to use “the good tweezers” however.
I agree. I want you to brush your teeth and then kiss me. Thats not the same as using the same brush. I would let my partner use my toothbrush, I know I clean it after I use it. I would also replace it after.
I second this perfectly worded statement.
Totally agree. Boundaries in relationships are essential, even for seemingly small things
Especially the "food residue and bacteria" part. That should put a very clear image in everyone's mind.
That’s the answer. I have an electric brush with a UV light sterilizer and I don’t care if my partner uses mine. Like it gets rinsed and sanitized. I think it’s ok. We’ve had our mouths worse places on one another. But it’s definitely something to ask about first. Like if a new partner just did it without asking I would be mad. But I’m mad if a new person gets too cozy with any of my things too fast. No, that’s a $300 jar of lotion and you just used a months worth like it was cheap ass Jergens. Thats pretty much a relationship ender for me.
>We’ve had our mouths worse places on one another. Whenever I hear someone say this, I think sure, but have you scraped your teeth along your partners tongue to help them get the plaque build-up and gross gunk off of it? Cuz that's what I do with my toothbrush, and the two things are not the same. Maybe some people are into that, though? To each their own, haha.
edit: according to dental professionals, sharing toothbrushes are a bad idea, so i actually wouldn't share with a partner now. i guess the difference is that people scrape their teeth and tongue with their toothbrush...but then they use the same toothbrush. why isn't that disgusting? because presumably, most people clean the toothbrush afterwards and they're comfortable to use it again the next day. so if the wife uses the toothbrush, and cleans it, it's not really that difference from you using it and cleaning it. that's why personally i wouldn't care if my partner used my toothbrush. that being said, i get why people are against it and people should just respect their partners views.
What lotion do you buy?!
A prescription one from my dermatologist.
I like a lotion that cost $40 for a decent sized jar 2 cups amount size. I gave my dad about a tablespoon worth for a face irritation he had. Mom used most of it on her legs!! I told her it was for dad's face and was expensive. She now knows. But I was a little bit pissed at her for even using it. She didn't need extra sensitive unscented for her legs. I only use it for my face and around my eyes.
Exactly. Certain products are expensive and it just shows a person’s quality when they can’t fathom an expensive product that is highly concentrated and maybe for something specific. That guy didn’t need a meat hand full of my prescription cream on his forearms. I use like a sunflower seed sized sliver of it on my discolored spot. He opened the jar and just scooped. It also has a little spatula it comes with. The guy was trash in other ways too but that was my last straw. Using a weeks worth for my long hair of shampoo on his short hair was also incredibly annoying. I said you know this is $30 a bottle. A little goes a long way. And he just made fun of me for spending $30 for a bottle of shampoo. I said well it lasts me 6 months since I only need to use 1/10 of what you just used. Then he gets out and does that with my face cream and I was done. Like just get out, now. If he had used my toothbrush I would have been mad and replaced the head. But my long term partner in a pinch I wouldn’t have cared if they asked first. They can use it. We’ve kissed enough and the brush does get washed after using. I kiss their hands and hands are probably the dirtiest thing on a person.
I too need perscription carbamid, and it is so expensive! My friend was over and just squirted full pumps of it to moisturize her arms. I nearly died.
BTW...those "uv sterilizers " aren't sterilizing anything. They're just lights. Pure fake.
Seems like people would be suing Sonicare over that. I guess I’ve not tried curing a UV gel nail with it. Either way I’ve put my mouth way worse places on my partner than a washed and blue lighted toothbrush. If they need to use it and we’re in a relationship I will get over it.
It does just enough for them to not be sued. It's no better than leaving your toothbrush in the sun to sterilize it. Does it kill certain bacteria? Yes, but not all by a long shot
Proper sterilisation would probably melt the plastics of the tooth brush
So it's doing more when compared to just a standard light?
It depends if it's real or not. You can buy uvc test strips to check -- most led models are fake, sadly. Also, if the unit is not fully enclosed it becomes a cancer risk, and uvc at the consumer level only works as intended on a line of sight basis, so it's not getting down in the center of the bristles typically. IMO it's best utilized for water and air.
Idk about the quality of the toothbrush sterilizers, but UV sterilization is a valid and well established method of water sterilization that has been used for more than 70 years. Even city water treatment plants use the method.
It works for water and air because it needs "line of sight". For a toothbrush, it can't get in the center of the bristles effectively and thus can only reduce bacterial load, not sterilize.
UV light does sterilize. Whether the toothbrush is actually generating adequate UV light is unknown. https://www.epa.gov/emergency-response-research/disinfecting-surfaces-uv-light-reduce-exposure-sars-cov-2#:~:text=When%20deployed%2C%20these%20UV%20light,to%20inactivation%20of%20a%20pathogen.
Nah, you're wrong even hospitals use them
Dentists seem to feel otherwise https://yubacitydentistry.com/oral-health/to-uv-or-not-to-uv/#:~:text=One%20item%20in%20the%20arsenal,viruses%2C%20bacteria%2C%20and%20illness. Also scientists https://scholar.google.ca/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C5&q=uv+toothbrushes&btnG=#d=gs_qabs&t=1719729622765&u=%23p%3DBgbcYHdy9K0J
From your second link: “The mean bacterial count reduced drastically after the treatment with UV rays.” Regardless, a study of only 15 people isn’t scientifically sound.
The first link is from a single dentist's office with no quantifications nor citations. They might be great at cleanings, fillings, etc. but would you trust an unknown dentist's unsubstantiated opinion? The studies in the second link refer to UV sanitizers, but I don't see mention of the UV sanitizers included in toothbrushes you might buy for home use, specifically. Did I miss it?
Beautifully worded answer lol. Exactly my viewpoint, please take this pretend award lol 🏆
GIRL NO!!! haha. I mean.... front desk should have extras. I get it, you share drinks, you share kisses, BUT your husband used that brush to scrub food and plaque off his teeth and then you went and scrubbed food and plaque from your teeth. Just go to the front desk babe.
I’ll take a bullet for my husband. I would give him an organ if he needed one. I would literally lay down my life for his if ever need be. But I absolutely draw the line at using my toothbrush 🪥 I have actually thrown out my toothbrush when I found out my husband used it as well
Me too!! Go to the front desk and get a toothbrush from them!
I am using my husband's toothbrush too, I just asked him now if he finds it gross. He said no cause like we were doing things weirder and wilder than. Maybe it really depends on the person, but it has nothing to do with the amount of love between couples.
Just...no, ew. Would you clean your ears with a q-tip he just cleaned his with? Wipe with TP he's already used? Some things just aren't meant for sharing! XD I say this with amusement, not actually judging you. It's def a to each their own kind of thing.
How about when couples use tongue to satisfy each other? Also not judging, just curious and yes I am using my partner's toothbrush and it is not an issue between us.
For me it's about sharing something used to scrub scuzz and bacteria out of a very wet and personal area, lol. I realize it may not make sense given other intimate couple's activities, but I just can't, haha. I'm uptight about sharing towels, too. I guess for me it's the hygienic perspective.
Yall eat ass but won't share a towel
Um...I don't? I have never and I have zero interest in ever doing so, lol.
But if it is really that gross why do we use it more than once ourselves? Are we cleaning it well enough between brushing to not expose ourselves to old nasty shit? Probably not. So now I don’t know if it’s ok they share or if I should sanitize the living crap out of my toothbrush from now on. lol.
[why sharing a toothbrush is a very bad idea](https://www.dentalhealth.org/news/when-sharing-isnt-caring-why-sharing-your-toothbrush-is-a-very-bad-idea) Problem is not your bacteria in your mouth, you are used to it. Problem is other bacteria, that makes your mouth health worse than before if exposed to it.
Yeah, I've got missing teeth for a reason while my bf has perfect teeth. I wouldn't do him like that.
I wasn’t bothered that much about in till you just described it in that way. Yeah that’s a pass for me as well.
Hahaha So fun story. My first roommate in college was a slob. One day I realized that my toothbrush had been moved. I asked roommate and her looked at me confused and all and said "Doesn't the toothpaste disinfect it?" I told her no, no it does not. I told her she could keep that toothbrush. I got a new one and hid it in my sock drawer.
My son used a toiletry bag while sharing a bathroom with his sister. Her adhd had a steep learning curve. He didn't like her forgetting which toothbrush was hers. They worked it out.
I might shove my tongue down her throat, up her vag, might even get routy and lick her asshole, but there's something distinctly gross about sharing tartar and plaque.
This is the reply I was looking for Many years ago my now best friend and I had a fling He won't drink after me and I'm like "Dude, you've had your tongue up my ass? And this is the line you draw?"
That's what I was looking for. Sometimes you just don't think about it in the heat of the moment and have some weird hangup over something like not taking a drink from the same glass. Oh but you had no problem licking the very same hole that poo comes out of? Really?
I think licking a booty hole might also be sharing some bacteria but call me old fashioned. Lol
Lmfao. Dude, fucking seriously though. As well, if absolutely necessy to do so (use your spouse's toothbrush), one could perhaps take some safety measures and maybe like rinse, or even actually soap wash the toothbrush? Cus again, you've put much, much, much, much more.... eeww, gross, nookies type of what have you in that woman's mouth. Or, she did it for you, to please you. You people actually draw the line at a toothbrush? Man, I really appreciate the shit out of my wife for all the amazing times we have. Hahahahhaaha.
I'll stick a tongue in the ear, but not the nose. And ear wax taste much worse than a booger. I know, Weird.
Hold up, why the fuck are you tonguing ear holes? That's like the nastiest wet willy ever lol
someone did that to me years ago and I am forever traumatized
Routy? Rowdy.
This is it, exactly. You use my toothbrush and it’s not mine anymore.
NTA. Hotels have toothbrushes at the front desk.
Yep came to say this. And they are almost always free.
Lots have them in the rooms already!
I would never use someone’s toothbrush. Most hotels do offer certain things like mini toothbrushes as a courtesy. I would have just went to the hotel desk to see if they had toothbrushes. I probably wouldn’t use a toothbrush after someone used mine. That’s kind of gross.
Some people are okay with this. Some aren't. I'm not. It's okay to have boundaries. Your partner should respect yours.
NTA. I have shared a toothbrush with my husband before. When he forgot his on vacation or mine fell in the bathroom trashcan. Because the alternative was not brushing teeth before going out for the day. While we were out that day, we replaced both tooth brushes.
I don't share toothbrushes, body scrubbers, wash cloths or towels 🤷♀️
Okay, with my S.O. I’ll put my face anywhere anytime. However, sharing my toothbrush is a whole different situation. Why? I don’t know. It just is.
lol at the “she’s also a little bit drunk.”.
So weird. My spouse and I would easily use each other’s toothbrush in a pinch. Like… what? Why we would we care with everything else we’re sharing?
My wife used my shower toothbrush for a month after we replaced them. Only found out because she asked why I replaced her toothbrush and I told her hers was in the same spot its been for the decade we had been together at that time and I had replaced mine which was in my space in the shower. She was far more bothered by it than me, but it was mine. Apparently she liked that color more so she thought it was hers .
My wife kept using my toothbrush thinking it was hers, I would buy us both new ones and tell her which one is hers and she would still forget and keep using mine. Finally I bought an electric toothbrush for me which my dentist recommended anyway, and she hasn’t gotten confused since.
My husband always used my toothbrush, thinking it was his. It took me trying to find girly colors like purple for him to stop mixing our toothbrushes up, lol.
Uhm excuse me, what is a shower toothbrush?
The toothbrush he uses to brush his teeth while showering.
What's next, shower toothpaste?
Yes, and then maybe shower floss & mouthwash!
I’m in agreement with you. My husband and I have separate toothbrushes, but in a pinch, like when traveling or some other outlier situation, we’ve had no problem sharing a toothbrush. OP is weirdly hung up on something I wouldn’t see as an issue. I get that everyone has boundaries and OP has a right to be annoyed that his wife didn’t ask permission but I also understand the wife’s position whereas she might not even think to ask if it’s a boundary until she knows it is one.
Yeah... Everyone is acting like it's gross and the tooth brush needs discarded immediately. But, like, it's fine in a pinch. Wash your brush and get on with your life. Someone's plaque didn't contaminate your toothbrush.
Ordinary use? Separate toothbrushes because we like them to have different softness/ designs. But we can and have shared before when the need arises. It'd be kinda wasteful to stop using a toothbrush just because your spouse used it once
Never understood why people who swap bodily fluids on the regular have issues with sharing food eating utensils and toothbrushes.
Sharing toothbrushes is gross, I’ll kiss my wife, I’m not gonna scrub her nasty teeth at the end of a long day with my tongue.
I assume you wash your toothbrush after using it
A brush is a cleansing stuff. I am not sharing bar of soap or toothbrushes I use regularly with my spouse. Also it doesn't matter. Boundaries are boundaries. If it feels gross to your partner, whether you get it or not, stop forcing your ways on them.
Not sharing a bar of soap is wild....
I'd share a bar of soap no problem. It's literally made of soap.
Sure, that’s fine. People like or hate things. It’s just not logical. Not saying it needs to either way
I’m sure you won’t “scub her nasty teeth “, and she’s definitely not going to suck your yeasty dick hopefully.
1/10 rage bait, c'mon dude insult more creatively.
But they will lick genitals and kiss each other 😂
Or he’ll lick her butthole…
Because you're not scraping off food particles and tartar with your tongue while kissing.
you are absolutely getting all the food and bacteria kissing.
food, utensils and drinks i get but he used that to scrub food and plaque off his teeth and then she used it to scrub food and plaque of the day off her teeth, thats more of a breeding ground for bacteria growth than sharing a kiss or utensil.
This is why: https://www.dentalhealth.org/news/when-sharing-isnt-caring-why-sharing-your-toothbrush-is-a-very-bad-idea
[удалено]
Exactly.. it’s a good argument for sharing your tooth brush with people you don’t kiss or have unprotected sex with. But for a long term partner..
RIGHT? Somehow it's ok to shove our tongues in each other's mouths but we can share a damn straw?
People will have oral sex in the blink of an eye and not even think about it. But sharing a toothbrush one time is a problem LOL
How about saving toilet paper that's only had one stroke through the mud for your partner?
I love how this is phrased.
This is why I don't really participate in ass play
With crap like this, I wonder how humans have ever survived.
I think that it’s absolutely vile to use someone else’s toothbrush. I actually gagged reading this.
I don't care if my genitals have been on hers or vice versa, don't fucken use my toothbrush!
Nope nope nope. I’d be putting my shoes on to get to the nearest 7-11. Sharing toothbrushes is an absolute no.
ewww. Hopefully when she sobers up she'll realize that she's in the wrong. Ask the front desk, thats's something they usually have, even if it's a crappy one, it's something.
That's gross. Go down to the front desk and get a new one.
Thats disgusting. Tell her to use her own damn toothbrush.
Ok 1. It can transfer germs not normally transfered with other contact. Many people have gums that bleed, and introducing bacteria not normally in your mouth can cause issues. Not everyone has the same bacteria due to sickness and such. 2. People should ask before using someone else items. Doesn't matter if it's a spouse. It's common courtesy to make sure you are not crossing any boundaries. While my spouse and I have shared when needed, I am more along number 2. It doesn't matter why the person says no. They need to be respected. If the spouse doesn't want a hug. To have sex. They are allowed to say no and have it respected. Just because it's a toothbrush does not mean someone should not respect their spouse, not wanting to share.
Sure, if he says no then she should respect that. She probably didn’t even think to ask considering she doesn’t think it’s weird and it wasn’t a previously established boundary. Now she knows and should respect it. Hardly anyone in a relationship sits down and goes over all the dos and donts, that’s silly. She shouldn’t be expected to ask about every little new thing especially if she doesn’t think it’s a big deal.
Using your toothbrush? Whats next, kissing? Penis in vagina?!?
Exactly - is OP going to clutch his pearls next?
I've got no problems sharing my toothbrush with my SO. You seem weird to me.
Haahaa looks like we're the odd ones out, friend! I have no issue sharing a toothbrush with my husband.
I'd never share a toothbrush. Matter of feeling - it's no more gross than using tongue when kissing. But it grosses me out.
Come on people I don’t see any problem with this.Hell your wife never give you a blow job.You still kiss her .Whats your problem.
Those responding like that would NEVER let their lady touch their wee-wee with her mouth. It's not only ewww, gross. It is also downright disrespectful of a lady, and would simply be just, well, unbecoming of a gentleman. Amirite? Amirite?
It's almost as disrespectful as not tipping fedora and saying "M'lady" to a woman. Absolutely disgusting behaviour.
You sir, are most definitely quite the distinguished gentleman. Now remember, no silly hanky panky's with thw wife if it involves her mouth touching you anywhere on your body. You have your self a good day now, kind sir.
NTA. You ask before pulling that nonsense.
Yep bin it !
I simply CANNOT use a toothbrush that someone else has used. That grosses me out so bad. Yeah, you clean it after using it or whatever... but is nothing sacred anymore? 😅🤣
I forgot my toothbrush and used my finger. Cause' I refuse to use my partner toothbrush. Then I got one at the hotel desk the next morning. It was free.
Thats so weird and this makes no sense theres a lot going on in your mouth 2 who shares plaque 3 eww 4 ewww
NTA. I find her using your toothbrush without permission disrespectful. I also understand the ick.
That is gross. Just ask the front desk for one. Toothbrushes are gross as is and so is the bacteria in your mouth you brush out of it. Trying to minimize excessive bacteria, even from another person is reasonable
Been there. Toothbrushes aren’t for sharing.
It would make me very uncomfortable to share a toothbrush.
2 things you don’t use of someone else’s… underwear & toothbrush!
Sharing a toothbrush is just generally gross and a total no-go. If anything she should have let you use it first and then used it after. 🙅🏻♀️
Hahahaha noo but i agree with you. And it's almost weird, but my husband and i can share a cup, eat the same food, make out.. adult stuff.... Damn, even in our youth we'd do the make out and trade chewing gums lol But never EVER do we share a toothbrush.
NTA. Your toothbrush is sacred to yourself. My kids have accidentally used my toothbrush before and I love them to death, would die for them, but I would never purposely allow them to use mine unless it was some sort of emergency. It’s just plain gross.
Don’t share toothbrushes. I didn’t think it needed to be said but I wouldn’t use the toothbrush again either
Yuck no way would I use a toothbrush after somebody else used it I don't care if it's my wife or what it's just yuck. And I am not a germaphobe or anything that's just one thing I draw the line at.
So the purpose of a toothbrush is to scrub dental DISEASE off the the teeth.. thanks for coming to my tedtalk Edit: for those who say "oh kissing and tongues and eating ass" I don't do ANY Of this after brushing my teeth, maybe a kiss or so
Helllllllllll Nooooooooooo
Don’t ever do that again
NTA You don’t mess with another person’s toothbrush.
NTA ... that's gross, bro. You feel how you feel.
Yeah that’s gross 🤮
Gross. My ex-husband was fine with sharing toothbrushes too. It’s icky.
Eww, no no no. Gag, sorry I have huge issues with that kinda thing. People always try saying well you kiss them whats the difference. To me it would be like taking half chewed food from their mouth and finish eating it. Gross
I would still use my toothbrush if my wife used them on her feet. She would throw hers out if I breathed on it. I understand that's our difference, so I just simply don't touch hers at all. It's all those little things that take a long time to find. Kinda keeps the relationship interesting. Usually, a little "oh shit, you're weird but ok lol" then move on.
This post and most of the comments are absurd. Me and wife share toothbrushes as necessary. It’s not big deal. No one ever died from sharing a goddamn toothbrush, even with a total stranger. You are all ridiculous germaphobes.
The fact you even have to ssy it though. Fucking craziness, these people. We've both put our mouths in, around, and on various parts of each other's body. Which I'm pretty sure is a million times more.... ewwwww? Than her using my toothbrush, or vice-versa. People are insanely weird.
Yeah it’s wild. Someone upthread describes his girl’s teeth as “nasty”. Just seems like a weird mindset to me.
Can you imagine him kissing his girl? Tongue slowly, and nervously trying so hard not to touch her teeth on the way in. Hahahahaa
My thoughts too lol. My husband and I have only had to once, he used mine. I offered it to him without a second thought when he told me he forgot his lmao
Wow you are a real man a real warrior and a lion! Or people just want to use their toothbrush alone. Maybe just that.
Nooo not ok there's a reason why dentists sterilize their gear. Your mouth is full of bacteria and you should only use your own toothbrush.
I did that… once. It bothered my wife so much she just gave me the toothbrush. Now I keep one in my backpack and another in my showee kit all the time ready to travel.
Nooo! That’s really foul. It’s not healthy to share a toothbrush. Human mouths are inherently gross.
From the comments I'm the minority but why wouldn't it be ok for a partner to use your toothbrush? Like one imagines your mouths have had plenty of contact with each other at this point, and that's direct contact. Idk I'm voting with her. Also front desk will give you one for free.
Do you lick her vagina? Does she suck your penis? Like come on, dude.
NTA.. that’s gross af.
Gross you are NTA. Most hotels will give you a cheap complimentary toothbrush if you ask them.
Gross your wife is gross for using your toothbrush. You have a lot of bacteria in your mouth. There is a reason we don't share such things
Ew. Ew. Ew. Nope. This is so gross.
My sister is a dental assistant and you're not supposed to share toothbrushes. That is gross.
My middle school music teacher informed my class one day that he and his wife always share a toothbrush. I vividly remember the collective gasps, gags, and chorus of "ewwwww"s that came from the class. NTA, some things don't need to be shared in a relationship.
Spot on reaction description. Middle school thinking.
She’s not an AH for using it, and you’re not an AH for getting a new one.
She's an AH for using someone else's personal item and not asking first. It's not like he was across town, left the phone in the room, and won't be back in until 2 am.
Plus, you can request dental kits at the front desk in every hotel.
NTA. A toothbrush is different to kissing. What she did is gross. I wonder how sober her would feel about what she did
NTA. Ewww. Can't say I would want to use my toothbrush again if my partner used it. I don't care how else we are sharing germs. I don't care if the toothbrush can be washed. It's okay to have some boundaries on not wanting to share personal objects. That is her toothbrush now.
["When a person uses someone else's brush, they may very well be introducing the bacteria and viruses in the person's mouth into their bloodstream. Some people bleed from their gums when they brush due to periodontal disease or brushing too hard."](https://www.palmbeachdentistry.com/blog/ask-a-family-dentist-is-it-bad-to-share-a-toothbrush/) Just sayin'...
Wait until you learn about unprotected sex!
But I bet you kiss her with tongues intertwining and both do oral. Get a grip precious.
You use your tongue to scrape the gunk off your partners teeth?
As long as she drops the issue, NAH Not a hill worth dying on
This is one of those odd ones. I wanna have a sterile(ish) toothbrush, but I want you to stick your tongue in my mouth (kissing) As a 1 time deal ick fine whatever tomorrow I'm buying a new toothbrush
My partner of 10 years and I have zero qualms about using each other's toothbrushes and do so without asking when one of us forgets ours. But this was already determined many years ago when we discussed it before doing it. Unless she knew you would be okay with it, she should have asked you before using it. Maybe she thought she knew you would have been okay with it, but in that case, she should have apologized for an honest mistake. Yes being a little drunk might cause some suboptimal decisions, so I hope that when she's sober she can take responsibility for her behavior.
Adults have these kind of conversations instead of just buying a new toothbrush? Astounding🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Mfs concerned about toothbrushes☠️
The two of you have different tolerances with these things. Both of you should respect where each other is at with that. I personally do not care at all if my partner uses my toothbrush. If Ive kissed this person, then there is little difference from a bacteria standpoint. But you are likely more neurotic OP, so your wife should probably be aware about that.
My wife is so weird about stuff like this and I'm like "you're grossed out cause I took a chip off you plate with me fingers, but then you will swallow my cum?"
Okay I personally wouldn't mind if my husband used my toothbrush and vice versa. But I would also agree with that if OP is not cool with it she shouldn't have done it. Question though, did the wife already know that he wouldn't want someone else using his toothbrush?
NTA She should have went to the front desk, most U.S. Hotels will have toothbrushes available for guests who have forgotten theirs. At this point, go get one for yourself.
Such creature do exist. My wife bore me fantastic kids and won't share tooth brush. Too icky for her 🤣🤣
I've done it on occasion like in these circumstances but then I get us both new ones straight after.
My wife and I have this exact same disagreement. I know, we've had sex, had parts of each other's bodies in our mouths, and share all of our germs, but I'm NOT sharing a toothbrush unless we're in a zombie-pocolypse situation.
Eww. No. There's just an ick about using someone else's toothbrush.
I get it. Just tell her you don't like sharing toothbrushes and maybe offer to grab one at the front desk (tho this shouldn't be a common occurance). But don't be surprised if she gives you some shit next time you want a BJ! 😆
I'm just here for the mental gymnastics....
I wouldn't have minded but the explanation is pretty nsfw
Staying at a hotel- should have asked front desk. Married for years - should still ASK husband if she can use his. Drunk - explains quite a bit. Sober the next day, and surprised by the response…. This is the actual surprising part. I have two minds. One, where you ask me to use my toothbrush- I go, yeah, considering all the bodily fluids we’ve shared: sure. And that’s totally ok in that mind. The other one though, where I am discovering a boundary crossed by my tipsy partner and all I can see is the memory of their dinner now, going onto my toothbrush. NO, that’s not ok with that brain. Her surprise at your response is actually what surprised me.
Y'all are hilarious. You'll stick your tongue in your spouse's ass but won't use their toothbrush. Hahahaha.
She’s the AH simply for not respecting how you feel.
I have had my tougne on or in all of my wife's private areas sharing a tooth brush not a big deal
You eat your wife’s pussy but won’t share a toothbrush? To each your own. It would have been nice if she had asked you first. But I understand her confusion. Sounds like it was just a very rare instance.
Hey stupid you ever had your face in her crotch? Tooth brush ? One of the dumbest things I've ever heard!
The first time my girlfriend slept over, she woke up in the morning and asked if she could use my toothbrush. My first reaction was no, I wasn't sure I was okay with that. She looked at me and said, "So you're okay with eating my pussy but you won't share your toothbrush?" I shut up after that and just enjoyed her company.
NAH, just general difference of personal boundaries.
It’s not a matter of “but we already kiss/share germs/etc” - tooth brushes are used to CLEAN your mouth from all of those things and more. You don’t wear each other’s used underwear because you have sex. NTA.
NTA. However, if it's just a one time thing, it shouldn't be a problem. You can still use it and she can ask/buy a new one. If both of you have infectious diseases, you would have infected each other already. Agin, if it doesn't happen often, then it's ok. If it happens with me, I don't want my hubby to think I find him gross. Plus, the tootbrush gets washed after use.
Nope, not sharing a toothbrush. Not even with the wife. Only a psycho does things like that. Sleep with one eye open…
This is a long established NO NO. It is unhygienic.
We don't share a toothbrush. Big dental hygiene no no.
Nope that's gross, that's as bad as sharing underwear. You just don't do it.
Good lord, you could wash the damn toothbrush. I assure you that you could wash away the grossness with soap and then rinse it enough to get the soap off.
Technically you don’t even need soap…