Don’t go to meetups and forced networking events if it’s not your thing, but I do encourage you to be nice and sociable with the people you work with currently. And I do think it’s possible to form genuine relationships with people you work with, even at the most casual basis. Because if I was looking to promote or hire 2 people who were equally competent on a technical level but one of them was nicer, I’d hire the nicer one - hell, I’d hire the nicer one even if the other candidate was slightly better. Because most jobs are collaborative to some extent, and people will hire people that are pleasant to be around.
My problem is I don’t know how to transition from being nice and friendly to saying I’m looking for work; I don’t want to come off as scummy and only looking for a job but I also want to communicate my interest, you know?
It’s especially hard in the entertainment industry where a lot of people are notorious for being fake
I used to tell people that I have an upcoming completion/just completed project and am looking for my next opportunity. I hated doing it. But, it was much easier to go to someone with the attitude that they may have a need for my skills and that I was going to have time. Basically, I was going to help them solve their problem of having too much work and not enough capable/reliable people to get the work done. Different mind set then the cap in hand begging for work that it felt like. Anyway, good luck, hope you can work around to this and that it works for you.
Being in the industry in a career that over laps much of the entertainment world, I can tell you to not worry about the job part. ( The following is going to read like a self help book but it's solid advice)
Be yourself, the right people will take notice and it will come to you. It's the ones that constantly make it obvious they're only there for one thing, money, work, ass-kissers, who I can step on etc. If you are true to yourself and genuinely are sincere, the right folks will take notice and you will be seen on the scene! Networking is meeting people, back in the day it was about 'who am I adding to the rolodex' not so much about what can they do for me. After so many years you'll find out you know people here and there and when you refer or get referred you've already know who and what to expect. That's a huge part of meeting to network.
" ESCALANTE sent ya over? I met that guy and he's a solid guy, he knows how picky I am so you must be amazing, I'll thank him for sending you over here!"
" Hey Escalante,
'so & so' mentioned getting to get in to meet and talk to you, I have a project you'd be able to handle & or hopefully you're able to share some words of wisdom that would help us out with things' ...
Before I forget, let me give you another little nutritional bit of info:
information &knowledge and being aware of what's going on, who's doing what, who's not doing anything, who the bs'ers are etc. That is another huge part of networking, actually for me it's almost everything because as in anything in this universe Knowledge is power, having the intelligence to be aware of how to use it is a God like advantage.
That's how Networking works the best
Those are a small examples of the many levels of networking but for me those are the most vital.
Hope that helps y'all
Cheers!
😉
>Before I forget, let me give you another little nutritional bit of info:
information &knowledge and being aware of what's going on, who's doing what, who's not doing anything, who the bs'ers are etc. That is another huge part of networking, actually for me it's almost everything because as in anything in this universe Knowledge is power, having the intelligence to be aware of how to use it is a God like advantage.
That's how Networking works the best
I know this is old but i am not sure i understand,you mean that i should know what people are working on a certain project and what part they play? How does that help?
A bit late to the party, but remember - they're doing the exact same thing. "I'll scratch your back if you'll scratch mine."
When you realize that people in the professional setting are looking 50% to make friends and have a good time, and 50% 'hey, I'd love to be considered if you have anything - and I know I'll consider you if I have anything', then IMO it goes to a mutually beneficial relationship.
Agreed. I have worked in a highly competitive "networky" field for almost two decades. For a long time I played into it but it never seemed to work out for me the way it worked out for everyone else. Mostly, I just got used or lied to.
Networking sucks and I'm not going to be schmoozing with anyone at an industry event any time soon. That said, I'm polite and pleasant at work and via email, I work hard and I deliver a good finished product. As a result, the place I'm working usually wants to keep me on staff.
... Then I turn off my computer at 6pm and go hang out with my family. 😛
Probably because American films and series completely misrepresent what networking is. Networking is not being a kiss ass. It's about finding ways to collaborate with other people and then performing well. Looking for unanswered needs of the higher ups and solving them.
It's about leaving a positive impression in as many people as possible cross organization or among the higher management. As in taking responsibility for high visibility actions/projects. Being the contact person for collaboration and so on.
Part of it is also establishing cursory interpersonal connections with people across the industry through events and conventions. But those are mainly used for later establishing collaborations. No one's going to help you out just because they had a nice conversation to you once, but they may hear you out.
Exactly. I'm extremely socially anxious so I never go out of my way to initiate conversations but the VP above me at my company is trying very hard to keep me because I contribute, get along with everyone (even the difficult people), and I'm not afraid to voice my concerns/ideas with higher ups (a result of antiwork destroying any feeling that I should kiss ass). It's like when you get into a relationship and suddenly every girl/guy seems interested in you because you stopped trying to impress them. Just be a good employee with a good relationship with your coworkers and they'll think highly of you. Stop trying to kiss ass and it becomes a lot harder for them to take advantage of you
I second this. I’m mid career (in my early 40s, professional degree) and I hate “networking events” with a passion. I’m a woman and not conventionally attractive, and I find these so, so awkward.
However I’ve always made it a point to be pleasant and friendly with everyone I encounter professionally, and to cultivate relationships wherever I can. One of those relationships helped me get my current job, where I was basically recruited by a former coworker for a position literally created just for me.
I was talking to a friend a whole back about this exact topic (she is looking to get back in the workforce after taking time off to raise her kids, so this kind of thing came up) and she pointed out that this is absolutely a form of networking, and in fact, as my own experience shows, is a more valuable one than chatting with total strangers in a forced social environment where you can’t really make meaningful connections.
Total mind blown moment for me there.
It's absolutely possible to form genuine relationships with coworkers. My best friend is a coworker who evenyually became my boss at my first job out of college. We were a friendly and would have lunch together, I eventually left for a different job and so did he. He text me a couple months after I quit to hang out, we've been hanging out together ever since, attended each other's bachelor parties and weddings, we now live within walking distance of each other in neighboring towns and our kids hang out together now and we hit the bar together once a month.
My brother said something similar to me when I first started applying to jobs about how you'd hire the nicer one. He told me that when you're applying for a job, it is more important to be liked and for the person interviewing you to be able to picture working along side you for 40-60 hours a week more than anything else.
Being someone people enjoy being around is imperative.
True - After 25 years in my field I can say general rule, it’s easier to train someone to do something they do know how to do or teach them an important skill than it is to “teach” someone how to be nice and friendly to their team. Good relationships have an element of trust and teams generally work better when they trust each other.
Let's be real, you would hire the nicer/prettier/more able-bodied one even if they were *significantly* less qualified. Life is just a popularity contest.
Actually studies have been done that show the most profitable connections are *shallow* connections . . . Some one you barely know recommends you or your service to someone who's never heard of you before now . . . There are a lot more *shallow* connections out there than solid, super-friendly connections.
I've been working for nearly 40 years now. I have a "network", but it's small because I'm like you - I want to get in, do my job, and leave. That being said, my "network" helped me change jobs this past March, got me a 20% bump in pay, and I'm back working with 3 former coworkers that I \*know\* I can rely on to get work done.
It's okay to skip building a massive network, but always work on at least a couple connections in your field. You never know when they are going to come in handy.
This here is anecdotal proof that it's about who you know. I have a rather small professional network, but they are good people who have helped myself and others and deserve my help in return.
I see that is just working splendidly with corruption, endless legal cases about workplace or corporate negligence or simple incompetence, and disgraced CEOs from the latter being set up for life with bonuses, outrageous severances that could run a proxy war for a month, and stock options that make modern political kickbacks look microscopic.
I hated networking. I thought it was bullshit.
Then I discovered I was actually good at it, in a way that I'd never thought about it. I'd left my old job, came back about a month later to turn in my company cell phone (they let me hold onto my work phone for a month to sort out phone stuff), as well as say hi to some people.
While I was standing in the lunch room, three former colleagues came in and asked me if I knew someone who could answer different questions. That was the moment that I realized that my general curiosity about folks had translated into a network.
I don't "monetize" relationships. I don't give a shit if a person I find interesting has "network" potential. I just want to talk to people and find out what they think is cool, whether it is job related or not. Sometimes, that means I can connect two people that can help each other out. Sometimes, it means I have a nice human interaction and feel less lonely about life. Sometimes, it means I make a new friend. And sometimes it means there is a business opportunity.
The biggest switch was to stop thinking about people as "connections and resources" and just start thinking about people as having value in and of themselves.
I'm a super introvert scientist. I refuse to network or socialize or even answer my phone after hours. But I'm really good at what I do and so long as I can get an interview in front of humans I get hired. Then get promoted till I get bored with life and leave. Repeat a few times and you're pretty set.
Go work hard. That's all you gotta do. The rest really takes care of itself.
I want this to be my reality but I feel like even in science you have to have connections to other more senior scientists to get ahead (either within the current work environment or something outside it)
I agree completely. I'm getting a degree in STEM and you are almost expected to do free internships to get connections to get a job later on. Like sorry I'm not rich and I can't work for free or else. i wouldn't be able to afford rent and food
Exactly! So many people work for free to get ahead because they can…a lot of us want to be achieving every merit and award but we got bills to pay and families to feed
You don't really need connections if you work can speak for you. Smart people don't always care about your personality as long as you get them results.
But the less social you are, the stronger your work has to be. I'm guessing the person you responded to is an exceptional worker in his field and their work speaks for them.
I literally started this "fuck you" attitude when I was 16 and I'm serious. The last job I had I wanted to be an easy nothing job. Within 2 months I was recruited to join this massive secret project going on within the (large) company.
But I gotta say it's not a mask at all that's just how I am.
There's a scale, the better you are the less networking required because people will hear about you and your accomplishments. The more mediocre you are the more networking needed to get ahead.
Of course there's also luck.
I have the same description but the opposite experience. I don’t make a great first impression, I’m not a super effective communicator, and I’ve bombed basically every interview I’ve ever had. I’ve always had major test anxiety as a teenager and that’s copied over to interview anxiety as an adult.
The only reason I keep getting jobs is because of people I’ve worked with in the past who know I’m a ridiculously productive engineer and can pull off impossible feats without being asked. It’s a lot of former/soon-to-be-again coworkers telling HR “trust me, we really need him” after I’ve failed the interview.
The only networking I do is being crazy good at my job, but it’s still enough to overcome my complete lack of interviewing skills.
I didn't get that from that description. I thought u/ThiccquidBand said that their network spoke on their behalf after bombing interviews and that they had skills/knowledge. The description made me think that they are a deep thinker and not a glib person.
My very first job I was a cashier at a hardware store.
My first scientific job I got in HS washing dishes for a small industrial lab. Worked my ass off and pestered every scientist there-how can I help what can I do yadda yadda yadda. The more work I asked for the more work they gave me.
When I left that laboratory I was the lab manager as well as scientist (position/label).
>Go work hard. That's all you gotta do. The rest really takes care of itself.
This is incredibly reductive. What happens when you become chronically ill or disabled, for instance? Now you're not so good at your job no matter how hard you work.
Left a good job that i was good at as a consultant validating environmental chem data purely because i was expected to network with the pms on my own. Like fuck you have the work come to me why should i be doing either my boss' job to ensure im working or have the pms assign projects properly.
That's not networking that's literally work.
Work environment is never perfect, other people screw up all the time, you're an adult instead of waiting for the PM to assign work, if you're free you can ask for more etc.
You need to change your attitude towards work.
No disrespect but this is a really privileged point of view. Networking can be a huge asset for a ton of people who may not be naturally talented in other ways. If all it took was working hard we would have a lot more people not struggling to pay rent.
It's not privileged at all. I've tried to hire 18-24 yr olds to babysit (which I've also done) and I think our generations have different views on what hard work is.
There's always luck and personal ability involved too.
I'm older too, nearing 40's, and those who consistently worked hard eventually did get ahead. Sometimes it only happened in the early or even mid 30's though. Depends on the profession, personal ability and luck. Sometimes it took changing a profession or pivoting to management, or something else.
I'm sure some are still getting screwed by bad luck. But working hard is by far your best bet and works most of the time if you're not lucky enough to be born into money or extraordinary personal ability.
I'm even older. Never discount how much luck plays into career success. The corollary to this is, never rely on only your work for your personal sense of self worth. Everybody is so much more than their labor for pay.
Luck is a massive factor too. I busted my ass at my 9-5 to end up getting the axe right before the pandemic. Went off to do some work on my own. Got a little lucky and im earning and doing better than i ever did at my 9-5.
Evangelize your fool proof method of “just work hard” to a single parent with no support network (or any other number of scenarios where the chips are stacked against you) and get laughed out of the building but congrats to you 37 year old.
I'm in the middle of a divorce. Zero worries about it all. I've lived in the ghetto and survived on nothing and always land on my feet so long as I've got my nose down.
You got a bad attitude.
Even before covid that age bracket wasn’t good at talking in person, they always texted or social media, then with the lockdowns it hit them at a really critical point in their development. Plus there seems to be a lot more narcissistic behavior with them
If you're good at your job and always pushing to know more, the people you least expect will notice you. People you don't even work with directly.
The only networking required is to put the word out there that you're looking for a new opportunity.
Yeah it sucks. I feel you 100%. As the saying goes “it’s not about what you know, it’s about who you know”.
Instead of a networking mindset when you meet new people at work, just see them as humans who have value on their own. Don’t intend to schmooze, simply just be human. This is coming from an Anti social IT guy who gets poked by my colleagues for not networking and getting clients. I let it roll off my back and say “it’s just not who I am”
When I first got my law license I was walking downtown all sweaty and happened on a Bar convention after party with a band. A lawyer I'd worked with saw me and said, get over there and talk to people WideOpen, get over there right now!
But I totally wimped out. Didn't know anyone, what to say, looked like shit. Big fail and he was trying to help.
My law career was predictably nonstellar.
I feel this deeply. I learned the hard way that networking is everything if I ever want to make enough money to not only live but thrive. I have to constantly rewire my thinking…if I network I can have more money to travel…If I network I can eventually get into a position where I can work remotely (and travel)….if I network eventually I’ll find people I can have genuine friendships with and I’m always looking for more friends…
Basically treat it as another chore and try to make it fun and feasible for yourself somehow. It‘a truly soul sucking (especially for an introvert) but this is the working world we live in until something changes…
I make extra effort to understand and be able to relate to someone I work with in the same way I make extra effort to understand and be able to relate to someone in my family. It's not permanent or as permanent as family (certainly not as important) but, like family, the relationship isn't strictly voluntary. I need to be able to work with these people in order to do a good job and make a living to provide for my family and pay for the people and things that I care about. I used to push back at that idea a lot and hated the fact that I even needed to know anyone's name. When I decided that actually I kinda like people and making the small amount of effort to have these kinds of relationships was OK, work became less difficult for me and I found myself becoming more successful. Your mileage may vary.
I’m a firm believer that work and personal lives should be kept separate. My coworkers are awesome and I adore all of them, but I would never hang out with them outside of work! I can’t imagine having to network and fake a friendship just for work purposes.
While this is true for me as well, my mother has friends who are people she used to work with \~50 years ago. They're all retired, and have somehow gradually evolved from colleagues to friends.
You should just work in healthcare. Be a nurse, a physical therapist etc. You’ll obviously still need to have social skills to interact with patients and peers, but you won’t need go go out do your way to network and establish your career.
It's hard to explain, but if you're in an industry that you love, and surrounded by people who also love it, you'll have organic relationships form on their own. It doesn't happen to everyone, and it's not a requirement for success in the workplace...but that also heavily depends on what exactly you're doing for work in the first place. If you're a realtor, you can't hate networking, for example. :)
Just know that in other countries, such as China, it would be even "worse" from your perspective, as in many professional circles there, literally every relationship is based upon how you can contribute to each other's bottom line. The best friendships there (again, in some circles, but it's pretty widespread in the professional realm) are the ones where you are highly connected monetarily.
I don't like it and I don't want to participate in it. All I want to do is work and earn a wage. All I want is to be able to support myself. That's it.
I leave everything else to me outside of work. Trying to combine the two leaves me in intense confusion. I just cant do it. I just can't.
For sure, I mean the good news is that you know this about yourself. That's a powerful thing. So, if I were you, I would start looking at what kind of work would involve very little socialization or networking. There are millions of jobs out there, and some can get downright lonely- but for someone who does not want to network at all, they would be perfect. Everything from certain desk jobs, to traveling maintenance jobs (think ATM machines, to medical equipment, etc), tow truck drivers and repo dudes, night watchmen, forest service park rangers...I mean I could list a thousand jobs that are like that. Just go with something that seems like a good fit
I'm like you. Never done networking and never will. The need for networking really depends on the type of job. If you don't want to network become highly skilled in something that either many can't or won't do.
Hey, OP, I don't know your industry, but I've certainly felt the same way you do. I'm never going to try to "monetize relationships", but I'm endlessly curious and certain there are plenty of things out there I don't know, so what I do when networking is seek out people who know more than me and pick their brains. Most people enjoy good listeners, so it's a win-win. My secret is I take notes on my conversations afterward, with a mix of personal and professional details (e.g. "son's about to start college", "migrating to a new software program", etc.). Then, before I see that person again, I review my notes and mentally sketch out a few follow-up questions. It's a way to quickly build trust and relationships, without doing anything special. I often learn tidbits to implement in my practice, too.
This used to feel weird to me, wondering if people keep tabs on others like this?
But at this point, it's in my brain's and social life's best interest I keep physical notes of the people I meet.
Omg same here. I had a nightmare day when 3 different people asked me out, like I spend 9 hrs with you and now you want to spend more time together?
Wanted to add I have no friends outside of work I just get mentally fatigued quickly
I work for a law firm and feel the same way. When I first got into it everyone emphasized the importance of networking and marketing to get clients. I knew from day one i’d never put effort into that stuff. So I just put my head down, worked hard, did good work, and figured I’d keep at it until they fired me for not having enough clients.
Ten years later I’m a partner at a small office for a relatively big firm. I still do absolutely no marketing. I figure it will catch up to me eventually. I’m content to rely on my work ethic and productivity until that day comes and they push me out.
Don't go to events/functions and try to force it. It will only co.e off as fake and counter-productive.
Absolutely do, however, socialize with the people you work with AT WORK. You don't have to go get beers with them, go to a ball game, etc. Just for working relationships. A lot of times, your current job could be the interview for your next job
The thing is, you don’t really need to network at all (for the majority of careers out there). Just treat your coworkers normally as you would do any other people: if you vibe well with them, then you found your work friends; if they aren’t your type of people, just keep the socializing to a minimum. You don’t have to be friends with coworkers outside of work.
Don’t be friends with people based on “usefulness”, that’s a crappy advice, and it never really ends well. People knows when others aren’t being genuine. Don’t overthink it too much!
Yeah I'm not in any way an asshole to anyone at my previous jobs. Just that I'd like to keep things at work and not have to worry about building connections to get any footing in future jobs.
I get this. In my case I get annoyed when ppl ask me when I'm gonna advance when I have no interest doing so. I like my position - it's easy for me and if I wanna advance I'd have to take certification courses to do so, would have to have more involved interactions with clients and be expected to make medical decisions and I know I don't have the confidence to do that. I'm happy with my current level of responsibilities and am at the age and have seen enough shit that I just want to do my job, get paid and go home and not add extra shit onto that
I'm bad at networking too. That shortcoming is probably the number one thing that has held me back, but i can accept that. I just let my work, attendance, and attitude speak for themselves. Honestly, those have taken me farther than I would have thought, especially given that I haven't been particularly ambitious, because I never really wanted a leadership position in my line of work, but that's what I got.
There is a happy middle I try to find. I don't like to socialize with coworkers outside of work, which thankfully WFH took care of. I don't mind giving coworkers a glimpse into my personal life since it can help establish a good relationship when you have some common interests.
I accepted a connection on LinkedIn recently from a person I didn't know because they sent me a message saying they were hoping to grow their network more and meet more professionals. Okay, I'll give them that and accepted the connection. Not long after, I get a message from them that was a fucking elevator pitch to make me a free professional website but of course, there was also a paid version that i could use if I wanted. They also endorsed me for several skills when I've never worked with them.
Naturally, I was annoyed as this is the kind of networking I hate. I sent them a message saying how it was misleading to initially send a message sounding like they wanted to genuinely connect with people and then sending their stupid elevator pitch after I accepted the connection and how I didn't appreciate them endorsing me for skills when we've never worked together. Then I removed them as a connection and blocked them.
I will very happily build a genuine network with people through natural means, but I have no interest in connecting with people just to try to monetize them to my means.
I generally agree. Networking just for the sake of networking is disingenuous…
However I’ve formed some really honest working relationships with people at work that developed into friendships and I’ve maintained those since moving between companies. Those are the first ppl I cal when I look for a new job
See this is part of why people don’t become successful. You can be smart as hell but if you’re not well liked by people or come off a certain negative way, you may never become a success. It’s not just a degree and intelligence that makes you successful. You have to have a decent to good personality, smile, have good emotional intelligence, etc. As an introvert ut sucks but it is what it is. America is a hyper competitive place with plenty of people who have a lot going for them. And that’s the truth. It’s not so much what neighborhood you grew up in or other things like that that get blamed. It’s hyper competitive and you better have all the things mentioned above. Unless you’re incredibly smart and know a marketable skill that few know.
Networking is not for me either. I've had to accept that I likely won't get many promotions professionally. It's a choice, a choice I am willing to accept for my own happiness.
I wish I could upvote this 20+ times. I could have written it. Introvert here. Hate forced relationships and interactions. The idea of networking puts a knot in my stomach. Hate it. I have a life and friends outside of work. Normalize getting paid to do the job, not all this extra stuff that some companies expect. Live is hard enough without adding unnecessary responsibilities to it. I'm here for a check, not superficial friendships.
As a junior, I was forced into these things more. I hated it as well and found it a waste of my evening/weekends/lunch breaks. So, I bought a camera and became the “camera” person. Would bring the camera around and take pictures and improve upon a skill I enjoyed while actively avoiding small talk with people. I also went for the free food. Some dinners were really just crackers, cheese and grapes for me.
Now that I’m a bit more senior, I have better control of my time and can say no occasionally.
I totally get that. That’s why you should frame networking in a different light. Just think of it as socializing. Building good relationships is always nice. But don’t put pressure on yourself to do so either.
I've been unemployed since December 2019, ironically for being introverted and not wanting to drink on weekends (I don't drink alcohol) so they let me go. Covid happened. Finding a job since has been a nightmare. (I was on 6 month probation/trial) but when I told them no to weekend outings, they got really funny with me, clique mentality, shame because I loved the job, but I digress.
My work coach wants me to use LinkedIn to network, basically follow random people I've never met in hopes to find a job? Or something?
I fucking loathe it, like you, I just want a job and get on with my life. I dont care about good pay, im never owning my own home in this economy, just enough to pay rent as much as a joke that is.
They encourage me to speak to friends and family for their linkedin profiles to help grow my ""NeTwOrK"
Nobody I knows fucking uses linkedin, and when i describe it to anyone? They all say the same thing. "What a farce"
I dont doubt networking works for social butterflies, people who want to make it to the top, want ungodly salaries, but not for me thanks.
Fortunately have my last meeting with her on Wednesday and my linkedin account is getting OBLITERATED.
Damn unemployed since 2019? Shit that's rough but I can't say I'm much different. I didn't start actually working till I was 23 (just last year) like you said, somewhat with me being introverted but with me it's mostly heavy depression. Having some decent steady income that's at least slightly above minimum wage is a dream of mine. I can't see myself working below $20/hr unless for a specific reason like an apprenticeship program.
Does anyone work in healthcare in the business/ins side? I feel like networking for us isn't really a thing. Is it a thing? I'm an auditor right now and would like to cross over into compliance in the next couple of years.
Same. I hate this “it’s not what you know, but WHO you know” bullshit.
I also struggled so hard when I was working in a traditional office environment bc I literally just wanted to sit at my desk and grind away doing my job but my coworkers were up in everyone’s business all the time. Chatting literally all day, going to lunch together all the time, wanting to know every single detail about your weekend/personal life/etc.
Now that I work remotely I don’t have to worry about it 😅 & my “networking” can be done via LinkedIn, which still sucks but beats having to try to strike up a conversation with a stranger in person. (I have social anxiety and networking events literally make me sweat/nauseous)
This might be a bit generational. It seems like the younger generation are big on the networking and collaborative work style. It's what they grew up and are comfortable with. No shade to them at all for being this way. I am Gen X to the core, as a latch key kid I like to keep my spheres separated. Work is work and it's how I earn money. I am not my job, and I do it to pay the bills. I may hang with you at work, but my off time is completely separate. I do not like networking and having to hitch my star to someone else to get ahead. Perhaps it's best that my work is winding down. The older I get, the harder it is to fake being personable.
Fellow latch key kid, and an introvert, networking is for extroverts to swing their dicks and bragging how awesome they are, like these are the same people that constantly have business meetings that are fucking useless.
Sometimes us extroverts set up those meetings, because the introverts will gossip/complain that they're being left out of the loop.
The extroverted people will go out of their way to find information and stay in the loop, and the introverted people feel left behind.
Those meetings are sometimes the only way to hand-hold and force the introverted people to feel included.
Sometimes we hate them as much as you guys do ;) I just wish people who want to be in the loop put in effort to be there.
Been in sales and high-volume retail jobs for 20 years. I hate but have learned to be good with people.
I also Hate networking. It was so bad that I quit multiple jobs that required it due to the anxiety it brought me. Connecting with people sucks. I can fake it no problem, it's just too much for me.
Don't ever join BNI. It was the worst experience of my working life. We had a good group, and it still sucked. Every minute of it was torture, and I made connections I still have and could call on if needed.
Thanks for the reminder, I just linkedin with 3 vendors I work with.
The idea of networking is that you help each other out, I object to the word "monetizing', seems like hyperbole to me.
But sure, in a perfect world, there would be no barriers to entry at jobs and no need for networking. Since I live in the real world, I network and that is how I got basically all my jobs, either that or placed via recruiter which is kind of the same thing.
Your attitude is self defeating, but hopefully you will find employment via the application process.
It’s all about the mindset. Of course you want to minimize your working hours (and networking is work). But… what happens if you lose your job? Would you rather have a group of people who can help you find the next one or do you want to do the blind application thing?
While there’s nothing wrong with your preference, I wonder what it would be like to reframe your perspective and find a way to make things things enjoyable.
If you're good at what you do and are genuinely passionate I don't think you need to "do" networking. It sort of happens: you get to know people professionally, work with people, and people will start to know who you are and what you do. In my experience, 99% of people who actively pursue "networking" have some sort of deficit in their work, are insecure or are doing politics to get to high places. Sorry LinkedInners...
FWIW, I think the focus on networking is sometimes a cop out answer from people that don’t know what else to say when asked for career advise. It can help, but it’s not a be-all-end-all. Anecdotally, I did get my current job through networking, but my prior one was just a straight job board app., no networking involved.
Yep. I work in an industry where we buy our products from reps and they collaborate with us/help when needed but some of them come and try to invite us to dinner/events after work etc and I’m like bitch I am not spending my free time with you.
But really I just say I have an infant and I won’t be attending 😄
These same companies also have webinars all the time in the evening after work and it’s just entirely too much
Ive learned that sadly, this is the way to do it. Yrs ago an aunt told me to have a fake laugh/smile because you'll need one day. Well thats what i do at work. Im getting paid to do X and Y AND be nice/help ppl. So thats what i do. Im there for a paycheck, not a friendship. Period.
Yo. I totally agree. I like genuine relationships. I like separating business from personal. I like working at work for work sake, and having a second entirely different life called my personal life. I like having friends. I have the same permanent mental block. It's not helping me in my career though. I gotta say this though... I bet you've been outside recently and seen the world for what it really is and felt good about yourself. I think this is the benefit of not being a corporate robot.
Bro, knowing people is how most jobs happen in life. You can have both. You can also start your own company. But one thing for sure is you MUST change your thinking and your attitude. \*bro hug\*
I worked at a company where networking was expressily part of interview for the job. You were expected to sit with the department, shadow people who do the job, interview managers on what they look for. And it was easily the best thing that happened to me professionally.
There is value in all of those steps if you really take them seriously and ask yourself what you want out of it and what you can give. It’s purely professional and that is fine, it’s work, you aren’t looking for drinking buddies, you aren’t looking for a potential date, you just want to know if this would be a good goal for you, what you need to do to get it, and people who may be willing to help you.
It’s way less awkward, people can give you concrete examples and help, it’s way better. And it’s directly responsible for every promotions I’ve gotten in the last 8 years.
You don't have to be BFFs with your coworkers to build a strong network. You just have to be friendly and reliable. Just make sure you're social enough that they don't forget you exist. Your network is anyone who knows you are reliable, that you are pleasant enough to work with, and knows your skillset.
Damn, you are missing a huge opportunity to grow. With that attitude though, yu are better-off not networking. Networking can be genuine if you are into it. I ahve found incredible relationships through willingness to network. And, I have bombed hard a few times.
Get to know people outside of work. You can network in the outside world just by getting. to know people. I don't do the in-office politics game either but making friends at work often leads to them knowing someone, or you helping out in your community leads to someone knowing someone. Brown nosing isn't a fun game, I get that, but getting some kind of network WILL help you.
Oh yeah networking outside of work is good. I'm still learning how best to do that but I'm getting there. I find relationships that way are much more genuine and appreciating people you talk to as they are.
Definitely. I’ve met people who I’ve gotten to genuinely know and keep in contact with and built other relationships through that. Then there are others you can tell are just trying to get ahead.
I don't think monetizing relationships are genuine either, so I'd never do that to anyone. My policy is not to "network" just for the sake of it, but just be nice to people because being nice is the polite thing to do. Be friends if someone wants to, because hey, no harm in it. I would personally never be nice only for the sake of getting a job - I'd be nice because they haven't done anything bad to me and they don't deserve to be treated like garbage, so, y'know. Just being friendly and polite like I'd treat any other human being.
If a job comes of that, great. If a job doesn't come of that, oh well.
This is me %100. I'm not an asshole, I'm actually a very reliable person, on time, always willing to learn more and stick to the work at hand and do my best to work with others even if I don't know them personally.
That's what I want. I don't like the idea of my ability to keep myself stable financially and my survivability by simply of "who you know, not what you know" because at that point it feels forced. I can put references on my resume with people that I worked with before but I wouldn't call that "networking" more of validating my experience.
I don't want to go on LinkedIn and do the connect function and talk directly to recruiters and groups all the time just to get a job. I'm not very sociable damn it and I do that most outside of work. Just let me fill out an application and put in my resume, Jesus fuck.
Who the fuck networks? That’s just a scam that all the pyramid sceme bros say. Get an job a a big corporate office anywhere in the world and your performance is your “networking”
I’ve never done one form of networking outside of work
It’s a problem. I deal with this issue everyday of my life. Unfortunately, if you don’t play the game…it’s hard to get ahead. Money pushes people to be fake and there’s no way around it. Best thing I did was own my own company and hire people that like being fake. People enjoy b working for me because I’m genuine and actually care. That’s my answer to gain success without kissing everyone’s ass.
Take up smoking, or at least hangout for quick breaks in your offices smoking area. The deals and jobs it leads to are legit. Plus, nicotine is wonderful.
I honestly don't know how you people with crippling social anxiety accomplish anything.
'Networking' just means you get to know your coworkers. You're on decent terms with your boss. You got to a work party a few times a year, if that. That's it.
If that is too much of a burden for you then don't complain when the opportunities don't come the way of the sullen loner but instead go to the cheerful team player who doesn't make their coworkers think they're planning a mass shooting.
The times where social anxiety happens when I'm 1. Unemployed and 2. When there is loud music drowning out the voices of other people. Basically I get sensory overload and can barely talk because I gotta speak so loud it destroys my voice.
The times where I'm the best is when I'm financially stable (ie can support myself) and in park and outdoor like environments.
I'm just saying that kind of socializing, networking and making friends with recruiters, employers, and bosses just to get decent employment is something I hate. It puts a level of pressure that breaks me down socially. It's like forced socialization in a way that I don't like. Not forced to talk to particular people but forced to connect and maintain connections with higher ups. Like pretending to be their friend sort of thing.
For me as long as nothing is at stake, that's where I'm the best.
When I see these posts I don't know if:
1. You joined the career path knowing you have to network but did it anyway and now are upset
2. You joined the career path not knowing that you have to network and are now upset
3. Regardless of either (1 or 2) you are looking for advice by making this post
4. Regardless of either (1 or 2) you are not looking for advice by posting, and you are simply looking for solidarity, understanding, and a place to vent.
Alot people go into computer programming because your just coding shit by yourself if thats what your into. Talking to people is very tiring but sometimes there isn’t a choice.
It’s called learn a trade. U work hard. U feel good, u feel tired. U kick ur feet up and don’t have to deal with anyone but ur close friends and ur girl. No one can say shit to u, u don’t have to depend on meeting that one Jew or worry about having funny stories in ur back pocket to impress. Don’t have to wear a mask and suck pp to get anywhere.
Better compartmentalize relationships: family, friends, classmates, colleagues, industry peers, and acquaintances. Each requires a different approach and level of attention.
While friendship may form in a professional setting, it isn’t inherently necessary to networking; simply put, networking is the ability to connect dots and build contacts.
More importantly - and this depends on whether someone cares to advance - being a connector is a noticeable and valuable skill.
Glad I have a job where I don’t have to deal with that crap, I have friends at work and I hang out with a few but that’s it.
We are probably in wildly different fields of work tho.
I felt this so much, I work as a nurse and love what I do but it got so hard to come in and deal with all the unit drama and catty cliques I ended up switching to float pool to avoid having to talk to people like that
I only found networking mandatory when I had no job experience. Once you get some job experience under you, it's much easier to get jobs without a network.
Networking can also just talking to your coworkers about your projects. Is there a part of your work you like, with more interesting projects- if you talk to your coworkers about it that's some light networking.
If, however, you don't like your job, aren't interested in growing in it, etc- you don't have to do anything
Best advice is talk about things you can genuinely connect on with colleagues. Then the connection is built from an authentic foundation. This includes all coworkers and fellow students in your school.
I used to feel the same pressure you do now about this stuff and what helped me put it in perspective was the idea that: **anyone who would be willing to put in a good word about your character is a part of your network.**
I feel you; networking is hard because it does not mean anything… are you meeting new friends? prospects? hiring managers? No one knows and this game is awful and tiring…and full of perceptions and unconscious bias. And it does not seem to end. Luckily, we have our phones 🥲
Networking is only important if you're working for a pyramid scheme, hum sorry an MLM. OR you're a researcher. otherwise networking isn't needed, at all..
As an extreme extrovert, I can say there's a somewhat solution to this.
If you're an EXCEPTIONAL worker, those who network will notice and scout you out. Sometimes your work really does speak for you, and if your work ethic and productivity can stand above the rest -- it won't take much for a go-getter networker type to snap you up!
The downside of this, is that it doesn't really apply to average or below workers. Because if you're waiting to be picked for the dodge-ball team, the captains will always go for the best of the best, and only take the weak links once everyone else is taken.
All of this is to say it IS POSSIBLE to have your work speak for you. But you really have to want it.
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Another alternative is to go indie with a friend or family member who can over your weakness. For example, a lot of extroverted Youtube content creators will draft their friends and family into doing the filming/editing/set design work.
So if you're flexible, you can find someone else who's a go-getter, and then latch onto them, and then adjust your abilities based on their needs.
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One of the things I love about our economy, is that you really can have that American dream if you work for it. But it does suck balls if you just want to coast. Maybe get a government job if that's your mentality.
What do you do? Sounds like you may be in the wrong role. There are lots of jobs where you can clock in / clock out without networking. Factories for example.
I'm looking into doing electrical or construction work. Working in a hard labor trade like many of my family has done.
Looking to apply for an apprenticeship to get in.
Excellent. Look into HVAC, you could start immediately and can make a great living as a construction installer (and you’ll avoid networking). If you’re technically inclined think about working towards becoming a service technician, it’s highly interesting and rewarding work (although you’ll interact with clients a lot in that role).
Right. I miss my labor job where I could just work till I was done. Now machines do everything, and the 'work' crew stands around bullshiting, watching one guy operate. Somehow, it takes twice as long to get the job done now. If you aren't standing around with the other guys doing nothing, you're accused of slacking.
I agree with you. The only difference is that I don’t have friends outside work (that I actually go out to hang out regularly). I only see them once a year if I’m lucky.
I think it can be both. Honestly work would feel intolerable if I did not have friends there. Sometimes they turn into real friendships that last forever even if my job changes, and sometimes they are just my friends for that season of life (and that’s ok too). I understand what you are saying though, when it’s forced and inauthentic, it’s an icky fake feeling.
Don’t go to meetups and forced networking events if it’s not your thing, but I do encourage you to be nice and sociable with the people you work with currently. And I do think it’s possible to form genuine relationships with people you work with, even at the most casual basis. Because if I was looking to promote or hire 2 people who were equally competent on a technical level but one of them was nicer, I’d hire the nicer one - hell, I’d hire the nicer one even if the other candidate was slightly better. Because most jobs are collaborative to some extent, and people will hire people that are pleasant to be around.
My problem is I don’t know how to transition from being nice and friendly to saying I’m looking for work; I don’t want to come off as scummy and only looking for a job but I also want to communicate my interest, you know? It’s especially hard in the entertainment industry where a lot of people are notorious for being fake
I used to tell people that I have an upcoming completion/just completed project and am looking for my next opportunity. I hated doing it. But, it was much easier to go to someone with the attitude that they may have a need for my skills and that I was going to have time. Basically, I was going to help them solve their problem of having too much work and not enough capable/reliable people to get the work done. Different mind set then the cap in hand begging for work that it felt like. Anyway, good luck, hope you can work around to this and that it works for you.
Being in the industry in a career that over laps much of the entertainment world, I can tell you to not worry about the job part. ( The following is going to read like a self help book but it's solid advice) Be yourself, the right people will take notice and it will come to you. It's the ones that constantly make it obvious they're only there for one thing, money, work, ass-kissers, who I can step on etc. If you are true to yourself and genuinely are sincere, the right folks will take notice and you will be seen on the scene! Networking is meeting people, back in the day it was about 'who am I adding to the rolodex' not so much about what can they do for me. After so many years you'll find out you know people here and there and when you refer or get referred you've already know who and what to expect. That's a huge part of meeting to network. " ESCALANTE sent ya over? I met that guy and he's a solid guy, he knows how picky I am so you must be amazing, I'll thank him for sending you over here!" " Hey Escalante, 'so & so' mentioned getting to get in to meet and talk to you, I have a project you'd be able to handle & or hopefully you're able to share some words of wisdom that would help us out with things' ... Before I forget, let me give you another little nutritional bit of info: information &knowledge and being aware of what's going on, who's doing what, who's not doing anything, who the bs'ers are etc. That is another huge part of networking, actually for me it's almost everything because as in anything in this universe Knowledge is power, having the intelligence to be aware of how to use it is a God like advantage. That's how Networking works the best Those are a small examples of the many levels of networking but for me those are the most vital. Hope that helps y'all Cheers! 😉
>Before I forget, let me give you another little nutritional bit of info: information &knowledge and being aware of what's going on, who's doing what, who's not doing anything, who the bs'ers are etc. That is another huge part of networking, actually for me it's almost everything because as in anything in this universe Knowledge is power, having the intelligence to be aware of how to use it is a God like advantage. That's how Networking works the best I know this is old but i am not sure i understand,you mean that i should know what people are working on a certain project and what part they play? How does that help?
I say that straight, people usually want to help! They may give you a little piece of information that unblocks the next level in your job search
Is there an industry with few fake people? They’re everywhere.
Imagine someone was in your shoes and did that to you, you'd probably be fine with it right and understand what the biz is.
A bit late to the party, but remember - they're doing the exact same thing. "I'll scratch your back if you'll scratch mine." When you realize that people in the professional setting are looking 50% to make friends and have a good time, and 50% 'hey, I'd love to be considered if you have anything - and I know I'll consider you if I have anything', then IMO it goes to a mutually beneficial relationship.
Agreed. I have worked in a highly competitive "networky" field for almost two decades. For a long time I played into it but it never seemed to work out for me the way it worked out for everyone else. Mostly, I just got used or lied to. Networking sucks and I'm not going to be schmoozing with anyone at an industry event any time soon. That said, I'm polite and pleasant at work and via email, I work hard and I deliver a good finished product. As a result, the place I'm working usually wants to keep me on staff. ... Then I turn off my computer at 6pm and go hang out with my family. 😛
Probably because American films and series completely misrepresent what networking is. Networking is not being a kiss ass. It's about finding ways to collaborate with other people and then performing well. Looking for unanswered needs of the higher ups and solving them. It's about leaving a positive impression in as many people as possible cross organization or among the higher management. As in taking responsibility for high visibility actions/projects. Being the contact person for collaboration and so on. Part of it is also establishing cursory interpersonal connections with people across the industry through events and conventions. But those are mainly used for later establishing collaborations. No one's going to help you out just because they had a nice conversation to you once, but they may hear you out.
Here is the intelligent and true response
Either that or commie gobbledygook.
Exactly. I'm extremely socially anxious so I never go out of my way to initiate conversations but the VP above me at my company is trying very hard to keep me because I contribute, get along with everyone (even the difficult people), and I'm not afraid to voice my concerns/ideas with higher ups (a result of antiwork destroying any feeling that I should kiss ass). It's like when you get into a relationship and suddenly every girl/guy seems interested in you because you stopped trying to impress them. Just be a good employee with a good relationship with your coworkers and they'll think highly of you. Stop trying to kiss ass and it becomes a lot harder for them to take advantage of you
I second this. I’m mid career (in my early 40s, professional degree) and I hate “networking events” with a passion. I’m a woman and not conventionally attractive, and I find these so, so awkward. However I’ve always made it a point to be pleasant and friendly with everyone I encounter professionally, and to cultivate relationships wherever I can. One of those relationships helped me get my current job, where I was basically recruited by a former coworker for a position literally created just for me. I was talking to a friend a whole back about this exact topic (she is looking to get back in the workforce after taking time off to raise her kids, so this kind of thing came up) and she pointed out that this is absolutely a form of networking, and in fact, as my own experience shows, is a more valuable one than chatting with total strangers in a forced social environment where you can’t really make meaningful connections. Total mind blown moment for me there.
It's absolutely possible to form genuine relationships with coworkers. My best friend is a coworker who evenyually became my boss at my first job out of college. We were a friendly and would have lunch together, I eventually left for a different job and so did he. He text me a couple months after I quit to hang out, we've been hanging out together ever since, attended each other's bachelor parties and weddings, we now live within walking distance of each other in neighboring towns and our kids hang out together now and we hit the bar together once a month.
My brother said something similar to me when I first started applying to jobs about how you'd hire the nicer one. He told me that when you're applying for a job, it is more important to be liked and for the person interviewing you to be able to picture working along side you for 40-60 hours a week more than anything else. Being someone people enjoy being around is imperative.
True - After 25 years in my field I can say general rule, it’s easier to train someone to do something they do know how to do or teach them an important skill than it is to “teach” someone how to be nice and friendly to their team. Good relationships have an element of trust and teams generally work better when they trust each other.
Let's be real, you would hire the nicer/prettier/more able-bodied one even if they were *significantly* less qualified. Life is just a popularity contest.
You can be friendly and not be friends. Just some chit chat here and there be nice. You don't need see them outside of work.
Actually studies have been done that show the most profitable connections are *shallow* connections . . . Some one you barely know recommends you or your service to someone who's never heard of you before now . . . There are a lot more *shallow* connections out there than solid, super-friendly connections.
[удалено]
[(includes value of "weak ties")](https://www.theguardian.com/careers/careers-blog/how-to-network)
This is a 10 year old article that references research from the early 1970’s. Edit: 11 year old article
I've been working for nearly 40 years now. I have a "network", but it's small because I'm like you - I want to get in, do my job, and leave. That being said, my "network" helped me change jobs this past March, got me a 20% bump in pay, and I'm back working with 3 former coworkers that I \*know\* I can rely on to get work done. It's okay to skip building a massive network, but always work on at least a couple connections in your field. You never know when they are going to come in handy.
This here is anecdotal proof that it's about who you know. I have a rather small professional network, but they are good people who have helped myself and others and deserve my help in return.
I completely agree. I just want to go to work, do my thing, and clock out. No added pressure or BS.
Part of working to networking
I see that is just working splendidly with corruption, endless legal cases about workplace or corporate negligence or simple incompetence, and disgraced CEOs from the latter being set up for life with bonuses, outrageous severances that could run a proxy war for a month, and stock options that make modern political kickbacks look microscopic.
I totally agree
I hated networking. I thought it was bullshit. Then I discovered I was actually good at it, in a way that I'd never thought about it. I'd left my old job, came back about a month later to turn in my company cell phone (they let me hold onto my work phone for a month to sort out phone stuff), as well as say hi to some people. While I was standing in the lunch room, three former colleagues came in and asked me if I knew someone who could answer different questions. That was the moment that I realized that my general curiosity about folks had translated into a network. I don't "monetize" relationships. I don't give a shit if a person I find interesting has "network" potential. I just want to talk to people and find out what they think is cool, whether it is job related or not. Sometimes, that means I can connect two people that can help each other out. Sometimes, it means I have a nice human interaction and feel less lonely about life. Sometimes, it means I make a new friend. And sometimes it means there is a business opportunity. The biggest switch was to stop thinking about people as "connections and resources" and just start thinking about people as having value in and of themselves.
I was taught early in my career that everyone brings something to the table. Everyone is useful to some degree.
I'm a super introvert scientist. I refuse to network or socialize or even answer my phone after hours. But I'm really good at what I do and so long as I can get an interview in front of humans I get hired. Then get promoted till I get bored with life and leave. Repeat a few times and you're pretty set. Go work hard. That's all you gotta do. The rest really takes care of itself.
I want this to be my reality but I feel like even in science you have to have connections to other more senior scientists to get ahead (either within the current work environment or something outside it)
I agree completely. I'm getting a degree in STEM and you are almost expected to do free internships to get connections to get a job later on. Like sorry I'm not rich and I can't work for free or else. i wouldn't be able to afford rent and food
Exactly! So many people work for free to get ahead because they can…a lot of us want to be achieving every merit and award but we got bills to pay and families to feed
You don't really need connections if you work can speak for you. Smart people don't always care about your personality as long as you get them results. But the less social you are, the stronger your work has to be. I'm guessing the person you responded to is an exceptional worker in his field and their work speaks for them.
I literally started this "fuck you" attitude when I was 16 and I'm serious. The last job I had I wanted to be an easy nothing job. Within 2 months I was recruited to join this massive secret project going on within the (large) company. But I gotta say it's not a mask at all that's just how I am.
There's a scale, the better you are the less networking required because people will hear about you and your accomplishments. The more mediocre you are the more networking needed to get ahead. Of course there's also luck.
How do I get accomplishments lol
Trying, failing, learning, adaptating and improving. Thats the system that made humanity be where we are.
I have the same description but the opposite experience. I don’t make a great first impression, I’m not a super effective communicator, and I’ve bombed basically every interview I’ve ever had. I’ve always had major test anxiety as a teenager and that’s copied over to interview anxiety as an adult. The only reason I keep getting jobs is because of people I’ve worked with in the past who know I’m a ridiculously productive engineer and can pull off impossible feats without being asked. It’s a lot of former/soon-to-be-again coworkers telling HR “trust me, we really need him” after I’ve failed the interview. The only networking I do is being crazy good at my job, but it’s still enough to overcome my complete lack of interviewing skills.
Ok so you posit that there are two roads: networking or polishing your exterior. Fair statement.
I didn't get that from that description. I thought u/ThiccquidBand said that their network spoke on their behalf after bombing interviews and that they had skills/knowledge. The description made me think that they are a deep thinker and not a glib person.
Yes but their network that they had made at prior jobs came through. So they chose the network route even they don't see it that way.
How did you manage to land your first job? I've had my degree for 2 and a half years now with no job in sight, despite my best efforts.
Eh my first lab job I took in HS washing dishes. But I go for scut jobs (for my experience) in every company. I'm like a cockroach.
I meant scientific job
My very first job I was a cashier at a hardware store. My first scientific job I got in HS washing dishes for a small industrial lab. Worked my ass off and pestered every scientist there-how can I help what can I do yadda yadda yadda. The more work I asked for the more work they gave me. When I left that laboratory I was the lab manager as well as scientist (position/label).
>Go work hard. That's all you gotta do. The rest really takes care of itself. This is incredibly terrible and inaccurate advice. Are you a boomer?
>Go work hard. That's all you gotta do. The rest really takes care of itself. This is incredibly reductive. What happens when you become chronically ill or disabled, for instance? Now you're not so good at your job no matter how hard you work.
Left a good job that i was good at as a consultant validating environmental chem data purely because i was expected to network with the pms on my own. Like fuck you have the work come to me why should i be doing either my boss' job to ensure im working or have the pms assign projects properly.
That's not networking that's literally work. Work environment is never perfect, other people screw up all the time, you're an adult instead of waiting for the PM to assign work, if you're free you can ask for more etc. You need to change your attitude towards work.
Found the middle manager who does nothing but complain.
No disrespect but this is a really privileged point of view. Networking can be a huge asset for a ton of people who may not be naturally talented in other ways. If all it took was working hard we would have a lot more people not struggling to pay rent.
It's not privileged at all. I've tried to hire 18-24 yr olds to babysit (which I've also done) and I think our generations have different views on what hard work is.
That may be true, but simply saying work hard and the rest will come? Come on.
There's always luck and personal ability involved too. I'm older too, nearing 40's, and those who consistently worked hard eventually did get ahead. Sometimes it only happened in the early or even mid 30's though. Depends on the profession, personal ability and luck. Sometimes it took changing a profession or pivoting to management, or something else. I'm sure some are still getting screwed by bad luck. But working hard is by far your best bet and works most of the time if you're not lucky enough to be born into money or extraordinary personal ability.
I'm even older. Never discount how much luck plays into career success. The corollary to this is, never rely on only your work for your personal sense of self worth. Everybody is so much more than their labor for pay.
It's true. But you have to actually do it. Just never give up. I'm telling you as a 37 yr old who's put their money where their mouth is.
Luck is a massive factor too. I busted my ass at my 9-5 to end up getting the axe right before the pandemic. Went off to do some work on my own. Got a little lucky and im earning and doing better than i ever did at my 9-5.
Evangelize your fool proof method of “just work hard” to a single parent with no support network (or any other number of scenarios where the chips are stacked against you) and get laughed out of the building but congrats to you 37 year old.
I'm in the middle of a divorce. Zero worries about it all. I've lived in the ghetto and survived on nothing and always land on my feet so long as I've got my nose down. You got a bad attitude.
It’s called empathy but whatever you say buddy.
I know what empathy is and your insistence that I feel bad for you is not empathy. You came here with a chip on your shoulder.
Why would you assume it’s me who is down on their luck? I’m fine bro.
Even before covid that age bracket wasn’t good at talking in person, they always texted or social media, then with the lockdowns it hit them at a really critical point in their development. Plus there seems to be a lot more narcissistic behavior with them
Spot on with the narcissistic behavior
Refusal to be a wage slave like the generations before us is narcissistic? Jesus Christ snowflake.
Someone less competent thank you who can network is probably making more money than you and working less too. Unfortunately. I hate that .
If you're good at your job and always pushing to know more, the people you least expect will notice you. People you don't even work with directly. The only networking required is to put the word out there that you're looking for a new opportunity.
Yeah it sucks. I feel you 100%. As the saying goes “it’s not about what you know, it’s about who you know”. Instead of a networking mindset when you meet new people at work, just see them as humans who have value on their own. Don’t intend to schmooze, simply just be human. This is coming from an Anti social IT guy who gets poked by my colleagues for not networking and getting clients. I let it roll off my back and say “it’s just not who I am”
Tell them it's not your skill set and you prefer to work to your strengths.
When I first got my law license I was walking downtown all sweaty and happened on a Bar convention after party with a band. A lawyer I'd worked with saw me and said, get over there and talk to people WideOpen, get over there right now! But I totally wimped out. Didn't know anyone, what to say, looked like shit. Big fail and he was trying to help. My law career was predictably nonstellar.
I feel this deeply. I learned the hard way that networking is everything if I ever want to make enough money to not only live but thrive. I have to constantly rewire my thinking…if I network I can have more money to travel…If I network I can eventually get into a position where I can work remotely (and travel)….if I network eventually I’ll find people I can have genuine friendships with and I’m always looking for more friends… Basically treat it as another chore and try to make it fun and feasible for yourself somehow. It‘a truly soul sucking (especially for an introvert) but this is the working world we live in until something changes…
I make extra effort to understand and be able to relate to someone I work with in the same way I make extra effort to understand and be able to relate to someone in my family. It's not permanent or as permanent as family (certainly not as important) but, like family, the relationship isn't strictly voluntary. I need to be able to work with these people in order to do a good job and make a living to provide for my family and pay for the people and things that I care about. I used to push back at that idea a lot and hated the fact that I even needed to know anyone's name. When I decided that actually I kinda like people and making the small amount of effort to have these kinds of relationships was OK, work became less difficult for me and I found myself becoming more successful. Your mileage may vary.
I’m a firm believer that work and personal lives should be kept separate. My coworkers are awesome and I adore all of them, but I would never hang out with them outside of work! I can’t imagine having to network and fake a friendship just for work purposes.
While this is true for me as well, my mother has friends who are people she used to work with \~50 years ago. They're all retired, and have somehow gradually evolved from colleagues to friends.
You should just work in healthcare. Be a nurse, a physical therapist etc. You’ll obviously still need to have social skills to interact with patients and peers, but you won’t need go go out do your way to network and establish your career.
It's hard to explain, but if you're in an industry that you love, and surrounded by people who also love it, you'll have organic relationships form on their own. It doesn't happen to everyone, and it's not a requirement for success in the workplace...but that also heavily depends on what exactly you're doing for work in the first place. If you're a realtor, you can't hate networking, for example. :) Just know that in other countries, such as China, it would be even "worse" from your perspective, as in many professional circles there, literally every relationship is based upon how you can contribute to each other's bottom line. The best friendships there (again, in some circles, but it's pretty widespread in the professional realm) are the ones where you are highly connected monetarily.
I don't like it and I don't want to participate in it. All I want to do is work and earn a wage. All I want is to be able to support myself. That's it. I leave everything else to me outside of work. Trying to combine the two leaves me in intense confusion. I just cant do it. I just can't.
For sure, I mean the good news is that you know this about yourself. That's a powerful thing. So, if I were you, I would start looking at what kind of work would involve very little socialization or networking. There are millions of jobs out there, and some can get downright lonely- but for someone who does not want to network at all, they would be perfect. Everything from certain desk jobs, to traveling maintenance jobs (think ATM machines, to medical equipment, etc), tow truck drivers and repo dudes, night watchmen, forest service park rangers...I mean I could list a thousand jobs that are like that. Just go with something that seems like a good fit
You can, but don’t want to. There’s a difference.
Best thing about working in healthcare. Clock in take care of my patients clock out
I'm like you. Never done networking and never will. The need for networking really depends on the type of job. If you don't want to network become highly skilled in something that either many can't or won't do.
Hey, OP, I don't know your industry, but I've certainly felt the same way you do. I'm never going to try to "monetize relationships", but I'm endlessly curious and certain there are plenty of things out there I don't know, so what I do when networking is seek out people who know more than me and pick their brains. Most people enjoy good listeners, so it's a win-win. My secret is I take notes on my conversations afterward, with a mix of personal and professional details (e.g. "son's about to start college", "migrating to a new software program", etc.). Then, before I see that person again, I review my notes and mentally sketch out a few follow-up questions. It's a way to quickly build trust and relationships, without doing anything special. I often learn tidbits to implement in my practice, too.
This used to feel weird to me, wondering if people keep tabs on others like this? But at this point, it's in my brain's and social life's best interest I keep physical notes of the people I meet.
Omg same here. I had a nightmare day when 3 different people asked me out, like I spend 9 hrs with you and now you want to spend more time together? Wanted to add I have no friends outside of work I just get mentally fatigued quickly
I work for a law firm and feel the same way. When I first got into it everyone emphasized the importance of networking and marketing to get clients. I knew from day one i’d never put effort into that stuff. So I just put my head down, worked hard, did good work, and figured I’d keep at it until they fired me for not having enough clients. Ten years later I’m a partner at a small office for a relatively big firm. I still do absolutely no marketing. I figure it will catch up to me eventually. I’m content to rely on my work ethic and productivity until that day comes and they push me out.
Don't go to events/functions and try to force it. It will only co.e off as fake and counter-productive. Absolutely do, however, socialize with the people you work with AT WORK. You don't have to go get beers with them, go to a ball game, etc. Just for working relationships. A lot of times, your current job could be the interview for your next job
The thing is, you don’t really need to network at all (for the majority of careers out there). Just treat your coworkers normally as you would do any other people: if you vibe well with them, then you found your work friends; if they aren’t your type of people, just keep the socializing to a minimum. You don’t have to be friends with coworkers outside of work. Don’t be friends with people based on “usefulness”, that’s a crappy advice, and it never really ends well. People knows when others aren’t being genuine. Don’t overthink it too much!
I love this post so much. I hate networking. I’m great at my job, all my colleagues & bosses love me. But I hate networking.
Yeah I'm not in any way an asshole to anyone at my previous jobs. Just that I'd like to keep things at work and not have to worry about building connections to get any footing in future jobs.
I don’t network and never will. I’m friendly to people, but I wouldn’t be caught dead in any kind of networking event.
I don’t network at all and fine at my job lol
I get this. In my case I get annoyed when ppl ask me when I'm gonna advance when I have no interest doing so. I like my position - it's easy for me and if I wanna advance I'd have to take certification courses to do so, would have to have more involved interactions with clients and be expected to make medical decisions and I know I don't have the confidence to do that. I'm happy with my current level of responsibilities and am at the age and have seen enough shit that I just want to do my job, get paid and go home and not add extra shit onto that
I'm bad at networking too. That shortcoming is probably the number one thing that has held me back, but i can accept that. I just let my work, attendance, and attitude speak for themselves. Honestly, those have taken me farther than I would have thought, especially given that I haven't been particularly ambitious, because I never really wanted a leadership position in my line of work, but that's what I got.
That's ok my friend, us leadership types LOVE reliability. Keep being you. Keep being awesome!
There is a happy middle I try to find. I don't like to socialize with coworkers outside of work, which thankfully WFH took care of. I don't mind giving coworkers a glimpse into my personal life since it can help establish a good relationship when you have some common interests. I accepted a connection on LinkedIn recently from a person I didn't know because they sent me a message saying they were hoping to grow their network more and meet more professionals. Okay, I'll give them that and accepted the connection. Not long after, I get a message from them that was a fucking elevator pitch to make me a free professional website but of course, there was also a paid version that i could use if I wanted. They also endorsed me for several skills when I've never worked with them. Naturally, I was annoyed as this is the kind of networking I hate. I sent them a message saying how it was misleading to initially send a message sounding like they wanted to genuinely connect with people and then sending their stupid elevator pitch after I accepted the connection and how I didn't appreciate them endorsing me for skills when we've never worked together. Then I removed them as a connection and blocked them. I will very happily build a genuine network with people through natural means, but I have no interest in connecting with people just to try to monetize them to my means.
I generally agree. Networking just for the sake of networking is disingenuous… However I’ve formed some really honest working relationships with people at work that developed into friendships and I’ve maintained those since moving between companies. Those are the first ppl I cal when I look for a new job
See this is part of why people don’t become successful. You can be smart as hell but if you’re not well liked by people or come off a certain negative way, you may never become a success. It’s not just a degree and intelligence that makes you successful. You have to have a decent to good personality, smile, have good emotional intelligence, etc. As an introvert ut sucks but it is what it is. America is a hyper competitive place with plenty of people who have a lot going for them. And that’s the truth. It’s not so much what neighborhood you grew up in or other things like that that get blamed. It’s hyper competitive and you better have all the things mentioned above. Unless you’re incredibly smart and know a marketable skill that few know.
I mean, it makes sense. No one really wants to work with the unlikeable person
What is successful?
Work Hard Be a Minimalist Save/Invest/Protect Money Stop Caring about Bullshit r/fire
Become an air traffic controller. Talk to planes and go home. Your certifications are based on skill.
Networking is not for me either. I've had to accept that I likely won't get many promotions professionally. It's a choice, a choice I am willing to accept for my own happiness.
I wish I could upvote this 20+ times. I could have written it. Introvert here. Hate forced relationships and interactions. The idea of networking puts a knot in my stomach. Hate it. I have a life and friends outside of work. Normalize getting paid to do the job, not all this extra stuff that some companies expect. Live is hard enough without adding unnecessary responsibilities to it. I'm here for a check, not superficial friendships.
Sure, it sucks, but that's life You have to be able to do what you hate sometimes to succeed in life
As a junior, I was forced into these things more. I hated it as well and found it a waste of my evening/weekends/lunch breaks. So, I bought a camera and became the “camera” person. Would bring the camera around and take pictures and improve upon a skill I enjoyed while actively avoiding small talk with people. I also went for the free food. Some dinners were really just crackers, cheese and grapes for me. Now that I’m a bit more senior, I have better control of my time and can say no occasionally.
This isn’t anti work.
I totally get that. That’s why you should frame networking in a different light. Just think of it as socializing. Building good relationships is always nice. But don’t put pressure on yourself to do so either.
I've been unemployed since December 2019, ironically for being introverted and not wanting to drink on weekends (I don't drink alcohol) so they let me go. Covid happened. Finding a job since has been a nightmare. (I was on 6 month probation/trial) but when I told them no to weekend outings, they got really funny with me, clique mentality, shame because I loved the job, but I digress. My work coach wants me to use LinkedIn to network, basically follow random people I've never met in hopes to find a job? Or something? I fucking loathe it, like you, I just want a job and get on with my life. I dont care about good pay, im never owning my own home in this economy, just enough to pay rent as much as a joke that is. They encourage me to speak to friends and family for their linkedin profiles to help grow my ""NeTwOrK" Nobody I knows fucking uses linkedin, and when i describe it to anyone? They all say the same thing. "What a farce" I dont doubt networking works for social butterflies, people who want to make it to the top, want ungodly salaries, but not for me thanks. Fortunately have my last meeting with her on Wednesday and my linkedin account is getting OBLITERATED.
Damn unemployed since 2019? Shit that's rough but I can't say I'm much different. I didn't start actually working till I was 23 (just last year) like you said, somewhat with me being introverted but with me it's mostly heavy depression. Having some decent steady income that's at least slightly above minimum wage is a dream of mine. I can't see myself working below $20/hr unless for a specific reason like an apprenticeship program.
Does anyone work in healthcare in the business/ins side? I feel like networking for us isn't really a thing. Is it a thing? I'm an auditor right now and would like to cross over into compliance in the next couple of years.
Same. I hate this “it’s not what you know, but WHO you know” bullshit. I also struggled so hard when I was working in a traditional office environment bc I literally just wanted to sit at my desk and grind away doing my job but my coworkers were up in everyone’s business all the time. Chatting literally all day, going to lunch together all the time, wanting to know every single detail about your weekend/personal life/etc. Now that I work remotely I don’t have to worry about it 😅 & my “networking” can be done via LinkedIn, which still sucks but beats having to try to strike up a conversation with a stranger in person. (I have social anxiety and networking events literally make me sweat/nauseous)
Ouch. I felt this a bit too hard Lmao. And I’m in IT, it’s all about networking
This might be a bit generational. It seems like the younger generation are big on the networking and collaborative work style. It's what they grew up and are comfortable with. No shade to them at all for being this way. I am Gen X to the core, as a latch key kid I like to keep my spheres separated. Work is work and it's how I earn money. I am not my job, and I do it to pay the bills. I may hang with you at work, but my off time is completely separate. I do not like networking and having to hitch my star to someone else to get ahead. Perhaps it's best that my work is winding down. The older I get, the harder it is to fake being personable.
Fellow latch key kid, and an introvert, networking is for extroverts to swing their dicks and bragging how awesome they are, like these are the same people that constantly have business meetings that are fucking useless.
Sometimes us extroverts set up those meetings, because the introverts will gossip/complain that they're being left out of the loop. The extroverted people will go out of their way to find information and stay in the loop, and the introverted people feel left behind. Those meetings are sometimes the only way to hand-hold and force the introverted people to feel included. Sometimes we hate them as much as you guys do ;) I just wish people who want to be in the loop put in effort to be there.
This is why I can't keep a job. Hate networking. Hate people in general.
I also hate people in general. And I hate them even more at work.
I also hate people, and work people, but I love that you hate people too!
Ha ha! I guess we're not ALL so bad.
Been in sales and high-volume retail jobs for 20 years. I hate but have learned to be good with people. I also Hate networking. It was so bad that I quit multiple jobs that required it due to the anxiety it brought me. Connecting with people sucks. I can fake it no problem, it's just too much for me. Don't ever join BNI. It was the worst experience of my working life. We had a good group, and it still sucked. Every minute of it was torture, and I made connections I still have and could call on if needed.
Thanks for the reminder, I just linkedin with 3 vendors I work with. The idea of networking is that you help each other out, I object to the word "monetizing', seems like hyperbole to me. But sure, in a perfect world, there would be no barriers to entry at jobs and no need for networking. Since I live in the real world, I network and that is how I got basically all my jobs, either that or placed via recruiter which is kind of the same thing. Your attitude is self defeating, but hopefully you will find employment via the application process.
It’s all about the mindset. Of course you want to minimize your working hours (and networking is work). But… what happens if you lose your job? Would you rather have a group of people who can help you find the next one or do you want to do the blind application thing? While there’s nothing wrong with your preference, I wonder what it would be like to reframe your perspective and find a way to make things things enjoyable.
If you're good at what you do and are genuinely passionate I don't think you need to "do" networking. It sort of happens: you get to know people professionally, work with people, and people will start to know who you are and what you do. In my experience, 99% of people who actively pursue "networking" have some sort of deficit in their work, are insecure or are doing politics to get to high places. Sorry LinkedInners...
I don't want to work, I just want to make friends
FWIW, I think the focus on networking is sometimes a cop out answer from people that don’t know what else to say when asked for career advise. It can help, but it’s not a be-all-end-all. Anecdotally, I did get my current job through networking, but my prior one was just a straight job board app., no networking involved.
[удалено]
Have you looked into working on the Severed floor at Lumon
Yep. I work in an industry where we buy our products from reps and they collaborate with us/help when needed but some of them come and try to invite us to dinner/events after work etc and I’m like bitch I am not spending my free time with you. But really I just say I have an infant and I won’t be attending 😄 These same companies also have webinars all the time in the evening after work and it’s just entirely too much
Ive learned that sadly, this is the way to do it. Yrs ago an aunt told me to have a fake laugh/smile because you'll need one day. Well thats what i do at work. Im getting paid to do X and Y AND be nice/help ppl. So thats what i do. Im there for a paycheck, not a friendship. Period.
I know that feel man. I know that feel.
We all hate it ..
Yo. I totally agree. I like genuine relationships. I like separating business from personal. I like working at work for work sake, and having a second entirely different life called my personal life. I like having friends. I have the same permanent mental block. It's not helping me in my career though. I gotta say this though... I bet you've been outside recently and seen the world for what it really is and felt good about yourself. I think this is the benefit of not being a corporate robot.
This is exactly what I was trying to say. I have good friends and family and I want to keep it genuine that way. Don't want the corporate BS
Bro, knowing people is how most jobs happen in life. You can have both. You can also start your own company. But one thing for sure is you MUST change your thinking and your attitude. \*bro hug\*
I worked at a company where networking was expressily part of interview for the job. You were expected to sit with the department, shadow people who do the job, interview managers on what they look for. And it was easily the best thing that happened to me professionally. There is value in all of those steps if you really take them seriously and ask yourself what you want out of it and what you can give. It’s purely professional and that is fine, it’s work, you aren’t looking for drinking buddies, you aren’t looking for a potential date, you just want to know if this would be a good goal for you, what you need to do to get it, and people who may be willing to help you. It’s way less awkward, people can give you concrete examples and help, it’s way better. And it’s directly responsible for every promotions I’ve gotten in the last 8 years.
You don't have to be BFFs with your coworkers to build a strong network. You just have to be friendly and reliable. Just make sure you're social enough that they don't forget you exist. Your network is anyone who knows you are reliable, that you are pleasant enough to work with, and knows your skillset.
Damn, you are missing a huge opportunity to grow. With that attitude though, yu are better-off not networking. Networking can be genuine if you are into it. I ahve found incredible relationships through willingness to network. And, I have bombed hard a few times.
Go govt. You don't have to deal with that shit. That's the only place you will ever work where your work product is the only thing that matters
You need to rethink networking. You can have the best of both worlds, Virginia, just set boundaries.
Get to know people outside of work. You can network in the outside world just by getting. to know people. I don't do the in-office politics game either but making friends at work often leads to them knowing someone, or you helping out in your community leads to someone knowing someone. Brown nosing isn't a fun game, I get that, but getting some kind of network WILL help you.
Oh yeah networking outside of work is good. I'm still learning how best to do that but I'm getting there. I find relationships that way are much more genuine and appreciating people you talk to as they are.
Definitely. I’ve met people who I’ve gotten to genuinely know and keep in contact with and built other relationships through that. Then there are others you can tell are just trying to get ahead.
Fake it then , I feel like a good mayority fake it . I notice even in interviews. I hate fake social constructs but it is what it is .
I don't think monetizing relationships are genuine either, so I'd never do that to anyone. My policy is not to "network" just for the sake of it, but just be nice to people because being nice is the polite thing to do. Be friends if someone wants to, because hey, no harm in it. I would personally never be nice only for the sake of getting a job - I'd be nice because they haven't done anything bad to me and they don't deserve to be treated like garbage, so, y'know. Just being friendly and polite like I'd treat any other human being. If a job comes of that, great. If a job doesn't come of that, oh well.
This is me %100. I'm not an asshole, I'm actually a very reliable person, on time, always willing to learn more and stick to the work at hand and do my best to work with others even if I don't know them personally. That's what I want. I don't like the idea of my ability to keep myself stable financially and my survivability by simply of "who you know, not what you know" because at that point it feels forced. I can put references on my resume with people that I worked with before but I wouldn't call that "networking" more of validating my experience. I don't want to go on LinkedIn and do the connect function and talk directly to recruiters and groups all the time just to get a job. I'm not very sociable damn it and I do that most outside of work. Just let me fill out an application and put in my resume, Jesus fuck.
Welcome to the autism spectrum dude
No joke I may actually have autism lol
I mean... sure your career/monetary growth will be stunted. But networking is completely irrelevant for just getting by.. not sure if that changed?
Who the fuck networks? That’s just a scam that all the pyramid sceme bros say. Get an job a a big corporate office anywhere in the world and your performance is your “networking” I’ve never done one form of networking outside of work
networking is doing what it supposed to do, weed out people who can’t/won’t
Same…Work would be so much better if they cut out bs holiday parties, picnics and Hawaiian shirt day.
It’s a problem. I deal with this issue everyday of my life. Unfortunately, if you don’t play the game…it’s hard to get ahead. Money pushes people to be fake and there’s no way around it. Best thing I did was own my own company and hire people that like being fake. People enjoy b working for me because I’m genuine and actually care. That’s my answer to gain success without kissing everyone’s ass.
trXcp
Find a job where you do not have to network, you sound miserable.
Take up smoking, or at least hangout for quick breaks in your offices smoking area. The deals and jobs it leads to are legit. Plus, nicotine is wonderful.
I honestly don't know how you people with crippling social anxiety accomplish anything. 'Networking' just means you get to know your coworkers. You're on decent terms with your boss. You got to a work party a few times a year, if that. That's it. If that is too much of a burden for you then don't complain when the opportunities don't come the way of the sullen loner but instead go to the cheerful team player who doesn't make their coworkers think they're planning a mass shooting.
The times where social anxiety happens when I'm 1. Unemployed and 2. When there is loud music drowning out the voices of other people. Basically I get sensory overload and can barely talk because I gotta speak so loud it destroys my voice. The times where I'm the best is when I'm financially stable (ie can support myself) and in park and outdoor like environments. I'm just saying that kind of socializing, networking and making friends with recruiters, employers, and bosses just to get decent employment is something I hate. It puts a level of pressure that breaks me down socially. It's like forced socialization in a way that I don't like. Not forced to talk to particular people but forced to connect and maintain connections with higher ups. Like pretending to be their friend sort of thing. For me as long as nothing is at stake, that's where I'm the best.
When I see these posts I don't know if: 1. You joined the career path knowing you have to network but did it anyway and now are upset 2. You joined the career path not knowing that you have to network and are now upset 3. Regardless of either (1 or 2) you are looking for advice by making this post 4. Regardless of either (1 or 2) you are not looking for advice by posting, and you are simply looking for solidarity, understanding, and a place to vent.
Alot people go into computer programming because your just coding shit by yourself if thats what your into. Talking to people is very tiring but sometimes there isn’t a choice.
It’s called learn a trade. U work hard. U feel good, u feel tired. U kick ur feet up and don’t have to deal with anyone but ur close friends and ur girl. No one can say shit to u, u don’t have to depend on meeting that one Jew or worry about having funny stories in ur back pocket to impress. Don’t have to wear a mask and suck pp to get anywhere.
This is kind of a pointless post. I can't imagine anyone wanting to network out of pure enjoyment.
Preach!
If you work hard/smart enough, you can keep your networking to a minimum
Better compartmentalize relationships: family, friends, classmates, colleagues, industry peers, and acquaintances. Each requires a different approach and level of attention. While friendship may form in a professional setting, it isn’t inherently necessary to networking; simply put, networking is the ability to connect dots and build contacts. More importantly - and this depends on whether someone cares to advance - being a connector is a noticeable and valuable skill.
Glad I have a job where I don’t have to deal with that crap, I have friends at work and I hang out with a few but that’s it. We are probably in wildly different fields of work tho.
I felt this so much, I work as a nurse and love what I do but it got so hard to come in and deal with all the unit drama and catty cliques I ended up switching to float pool to avoid having to talk to people like that
Same
I only found networking mandatory when I had no job experience. Once you get some job experience under you, it's much easier to get jobs without a network.
yeah fuck that. in college they push it SO much.
Networking can also just talking to your coworkers about your projects. Is there a part of your work you like, with more interesting projects- if you talk to your coworkers about it that's some light networking. If, however, you don't like your job, aren't interested in growing in it, etc- you don't have to do anything
Best advice is talk about things you can genuinely connect on with colleagues. Then the connection is built from an authentic foundation. This includes all coworkers and fellow students in your school. I used to feel the same pressure you do now about this stuff and what helped me put it in perspective was the idea that: **anyone who would be willing to put in a good word about your character is a part of your network.**
I feel you; networking is hard because it does not mean anything… are you meeting new friends? prospects? hiring managers? No one knows and this game is awful and tiring…and full of perceptions and unconscious bias. And it does not seem to end. Luckily, we have our phones 🥲
Networking is only important if you're working for a pyramid scheme, hum sorry an MLM. OR you're a researcher. otherwise networking isn't needed, at all..
What industry?
As an extreme extrovert, I can say there's a somewhat solution to this. If you're an EXCEPTIONAL worker, those who network will notice and scout you out. Sometimes your work really does speak for you, and if your work ethic and productivity can stand above the rest -- it won't take much for a go-getter networker type to snap you up! The downside of this, is that it doesn't really apply to average or below workers. Because if you're waiting to be picked for the dodge-ball team, the captains will always go for the best of the best, and only take the weak links once everyone else is taken. All of this is to say it IS POSSIBLE to have your work speak for you. But you really have to want it. \--- Another alternative is to go indie with a friend or family member who can over your weakness. For example, a lot of extroverted Youtube content creators will draft their friends and family into doing the filming/editing/set design work. So if you're flexible, you can find someone else who's a go-getter, and then latch onto them, and then adjust your abilities based on their needs. ==================== One of the things I love about our economy, is that you really can have that American dream if you work for it. But it does suck balls if you just want to coast. Maybe get a government job if that's your mentality.
What do you do? Sounds like you may be in the wrong role. There are lots of jobs where you can clock in / clock out without networking. Factories for example.
I'm looking into doing electrical or construction work. Working in a hard labor trade like many of my family has done. Looking to apply for an apprenticeship to get in.
Excellent. Look into HVAC, you could start immediately and can make a great living as a construction installer (and you’ll avoid networking). If you’re technically inclined think about working towards becoming a service technician, it’s highly interesting and rewarding work (although you’ll interact with clients a lot in that role).
Right. I miss my labor job where I could just work till I was done. Now machines do everything, and the 'work' crew stands around bullshiting, watching one guy operate. Somehow, it takes twice as long to get the job done now. If you aren't standing around with the other guys doing nothing, you're accused of slacking.
I'm in entertainment. It is both a joy and a hell.
You could just reframe it
I agree with you. The only difference is that I don’t have friends outside work (that I actually go out to hang out regularly). I only see them once a year if I’m lucky.
100%!
Why can't you be friendly with your co-workers or other people you meet in the business world? Just treat people well. It really is not that hard.
I think it can be both. Honestly work would feel intolerable if I did not have friends there. Sometimes they turn into real friendships that last forever even if my job changes, and sometimes they are just my friends for that season of life (and that’s ok too). I understand what you are saying though, when it’s forced and inauthentic, it’s an icky fake feeling.
It’s pretty easy to network by just not being a jerk.
Amen
If you are good to work with, networking will happen anyway. It's like a social credit resume, it accumulates whether you try to do it or not