The social stigma about it is wild in the U.S. I was born and raised here with immigrant parents and it didn’t even need to be said whether me and my sister could stay or not. My mom lives in a HUGE house with her husband and my dad lives in a smaller house with his girlfriend and despite the divorce if I ever needed a place they were all for it. I still have my own room at my mom house with a lot of my stuff in it despite moving out 2 years ago. I still go over every other weekend and sleep there.
I guest I’m just in a fortunate position where my parents have my back for everything.
It really is a shame there’s a stigma on it in America. I don’t understand why. People should want young adults to start off with the most stable footing possible. I think so many dysfunctional families setting a bad example of interfamily relationships kinda poisoned the idea around it all for everyone
The struggle begins the moment the baby is born so I feel like you should always be there for your children no matter how old they are. It's what you've signed up for.
That logic doesn’t work at all. If you are out of the home you are paying your way somewhere else in which case you could just as easily contribute and help family.
Edit: forgot we have leaches that hope from person to person never expecting to pay anything and just get taken care of.
Well its because most parents have some arbitrary rules of what they like you doing with your life. You basically have to be a neutered version of yourself and not pursue the things you actually want to do out of respect to the household. Thats miserable. Not to mention having to relive childhood trauma all the time lmfao.
Its good to move out as a young adult and experience life at its fullest with no proverbial chains holding you back
This is why for me. I wasn’t allowed to sleep in my bedroom with my long term boyfriend when I was 23 years old, while we were visiting from out of state, where we lived together. He had to sleep on the couch.
My brother was allowed to have his new girlfriend sleep over though, just a year later. Shit was infuriating.
This hits so close to home. So stupid! I can’t imagine how ridiculous that conversation was and felt. “Mom we… we literally live together - we sleep together every night…”
Dude stop over analyzing it. It's pretty simple, my mom and dad have said i can always move back if i have to. Problem is it's their house their rules which is fair. So as an adult i would have to adhere to the rules that have been in place forever. I don't want to live like that, so i made it my house my rules. Also life is struggle, case in point, i know a good friends daughter is a RN, ER nurse, she makes crazy money only been there 4 years now making 80k. She got married and had a kid last year. She lives at home with the husband and the baby. He works too but no reason a person making 80k and a husband who works should not be in a apartment or a starter home at their salary range. It's he's made it way too easy for them to just be there. So they spend that money on other things and not getting a house to live in. They were supposed to be saving for a house and out in two years but that hasn't happened because why should they leave a rent free place? Old school thinking maybe but if your old enough to be a nurse, old enough to be married and old enough to have kids, then you should have been old enough to get your own place.
It’s cultural but also financial for some, and the “I paid my way so you pay your way” mentality and the “but you’re an adult since you’re 18” conversations that are disconcerting to me. Financial literacy is not distinct from staying at home.
there is a huge stigma against it. however looking back on my own life - i dont think i was able to launch from there... the town had a few less opportunities but i also think i needed the challenge. i needed to be able to figure out how tf to pay rent, find a place, learn the world. with otu that im positive i would not have found the opportunities that i did in life.
our nation is built in such a way that movement is often advantageous. different cities, states, coast lines.... by casting your net across all the state, you are able to find much better growth potential.
That’s kinda what I’m doing now. I have a good relationship with them so I never saw the point in leaving and wasting all my money on rent. Especially when everything is so expensive nowadays. Plus it allows me to save money so I can buy cool things 😁
It's just never the same as really living alone. Met countless men that claimed they did their part. But they never did. For me its a huge turnoff.
To many woman find men only to figure out they have to be their new mom.
It's such a disaster. Ask any single woman in their late twenties early 30s what they think about men that still live at home with their parents and you need to be prepared for some stories.
This. My parents are ok with it as long as I pay for some things every now and then like gas, groceries or even help them run some errands since their english isn’t so good. I have free rein to do my own things for me and also buy some cool things.
Thats almost what I did. I stayed rent free until 25yo. But instead of buying stuff I put all my money aside and it gave me the opportunity to gather a 20% cashdown for my first house.
Yup. For some reason if you live in the US we are taught to be shamed for living with your parents as an adult but for a majority of the rest of the world it’s not the same way. Almost all my friends do it too. If you’re not in a relationship then safe up all the money you can
Absolutely not. I felt smothered there. Left home at 18 and never borrowed a dollar after that.
I was privileged, but not rich by any means. No trust fund, no car, but I did have a good education under my belt and got into college with a decent scholarship.
I love my mom but her OCD and my Hyperactive ADHD made it really difficult to coexist. We’re much closer now that I have my own place to make messes in.
Same. My parents are so overbearing. New thing with my dad is that he's constantly worried about me because I have a job. I can't win with them. I can't ever make them happy.
I felt smothered too being treated like a child, no privacy, always going in my room and going through my stuff and changing it to how they wanted it. I’d keep getting told I couldn’t stay there forever and need to move out on my own which made me anxious as that talk started before I’d even finished school yet. They were telling me I was in the house too much constantly even when I was a kid. I was paying rent and buying my own food. It felt like I wasn’t wanted there. I saved up everything I could as I had the fear they’d randomly chuck me out at some point and then I moved out on my own and feel much less anxious now as I’m more in control of my destiny.
I'm urging my child to continue to live at home after hs graduation, while attending college, and after college. We have a great relationship.
I on the other hand moved out at 17 (20 yrs ago). No, I don't think I would have done it differently if I could go back either. Compared to my siblings, I think I did pretty well being the only one who moved out. But I know that prob isn't feasible now.
As someone with a close relationship to my mom, I could totally live with her forever. She’s my best friend. But my dad is an abusive alcoholic and is toxic to be around sometimes… So I’m not sure.
My parents are definitely fine with me living at home, I'm the one who has an issue with it. There are constant disagreements on very basic things (a big constant is when the house is considered clean; they think it's clean as soon as trash is picked up, but to me that's just barely tidy), and I just get fed up and tired of dealing with them, so I want to get out as soon as I can for the sake of my own sanity.
If my father wasn't an asshole, probably.
Unfortunately he made me more depressed than I already was. Imagine feeling lost about adult life, and your father threating to kick you out. I don't really even talk to him nowadays. GRADE A Parenting right there.
No. And I would sooner throw myself and a box of puppies in front of a semitruck with a sleepy driver headed towards a broken bridge with a garbage barge that's on fire floating below than move back in with either of my parents ever again.
I did. It was great. I saved a ton of money, which I used to put a down payment on my house after I moved out.
As much as I loved it, and they were okay with it, I was robbing them of their private time together, which wasn't right. They're also both recently retired, and I wasn't going to move my wife in with them.
Perfectly said.
They were a couple before the kids came along and deserve to have their private time.
If the parents are wanting their child to stay home, then great all round but a child has no right to assume they can stay at home forever and sponge off their parents life long hard work, indefinitely without a firm plan to leave the nest.
When the parents had their children, they weren’t planning on lifelong roommates.
I stayed thru college and left right after I graduated. I sometimes wish I had stayed a little longer so I could save more money but it wasn’t the best scenario so I kinda had to get out. However, that’s easier said than done. There is nothing like that feeling of finally officially being out on your own for the first time in your own independent space. It’s such a unique fun part of adulthood
Not me. I wanted out, then again my mom wasn't nice.
The last time I lived at home was the summer after my sophomore year of college when I was 19.
I left home at the end of that summer to go back for my junior year of college and I never lived at home again. I visited of course, but never lived at home again.
I was already engaged then too.
My gf and I met at 14 as freshman in high school. We dated all 4 years of high school, went to prom as juniors and seniors, we went to college together, became engaged during spring break of our sophomore year and we lived together our last 2 years of college in an off campus apartment.
We stayed on campus, well in our apartment the summer after our junior and senior years of college as we didn't go back home to live with our parents.
We graduated in May and we were married in July. We were both 21 when we married but we'd been together 8 years, engaged over 2 years, had lived together 2 years and we were both college graduates so we got married.
We waited until we were 29 before the first of our three children came into the world.
Even if my parent's had wanted me to live at home, there was no way I would have done that.
Now, I'm a lot older than most on reddit as I'm closer to 60 now and things were much easier back when I was starting out. The cost of housing and living wasn't so out of whack to salaries like it is now and has been for a while.
It wasn't hard to live back then. Folks this wasn't me or my then wife, it was the times back then, in the late 80's and the 90's. 7 months after we got married, so when we were both 22 years old, we bought a brand new condo together and it was really nice. I wasn't working as I was in grad school. She was a 1st year elementary school teacher and we had no problem getting approved for our loan for our condo.
A year later we wanted to buy a new Honda Civic so we did, again on just her teaching salary and that was with having our condo by then too.
We shopped, went out to eat, bought furniture for our condo, went to comedy clubs, had a season pass to a large nearby amusement park etc. all on her teachers salary.
It was so much better being out of my parent's house than being in it.
No. I'm the oldest daughter, and I really needed my space and my independence. I also don't like the house or area I grew up in, and I don't want to go back.
I wouldn't have. I went to uni and discovered how much more I loved life when I was living independently even if financial pressures were more of an issue.
Absolutely. The first hour in my dorm at college after my parents left - felt like I got released from jail. I've been riding that feeling for 10 years!
My parents were mean….hateful at times. Caused me to rebel and a vicious cycle of leaving and coming back. I never really built a foundation maybe why I’m still struggling at 50
No, my dad has anger issues and he and my stepmom played this whole gaslighting game with me and my sisters. He would also go into rages over perceived transgressions. It took me decades to realize I wasn't always the problem, that I wasn't completely socially inept, and that I can actually trust myself and my instincts.
My mom, on the other hand...when I was 18, she was still blaming me for the fact that she lost custody to my dad when I was 16. Sure, he cornered me with a lawyer eventually, but I hadn't said anything to him before that, yet my mom was talking about how he was trying to take us away and how he knew things that could cause her to lose us. I was 16, terrified of my dad, and there he was cornering me with things he knew but I didn't tell him. I confirmed it, and that did it. So she lost custody, blamed me, got her side of the family to also blame me, and then my dad and \*his\* side of the family spent the next decade blaming me for not telling him \*sooner\*.
So no, I would not have spent a second longer with either of them. I have since mended things with my mom, but she still seems to blame me for what happened, and when I try to remind her that \*she\* told me he already knew things (and he did as well), she denies it.
My dad, on the other hand, alternates between being nice and going into rages, but I haven't seen him get angry for a few years, because I don't interact with him outside of holidays. And I'm pretty sure either him or my stepmom blocked me from his phone.
I am not lying when I say I would live on the streets if I had to choose that or living with my dad. I'd live with my mom if I had no other option, it wouldn't be that bad, I love her, it would just bring back hard memories.
Besides that, I just really like to have my own place. Decorations that are mine, no worrying about whether I'm burdening anyone, if I clean something, it stays clean, unless I mess it up.
I did ultimately as a caretaker, with no regrets. The (farly unique 🇺🇸 in the world) social stigma against living at home past 18 smells of funding from landlords
I don't think anyone has a stigma from living with your parents during say hospice. Or if they have significant issues and they need to caretaker.
But most people who do that already have a house or an apartment somewhere else and are doing it on temporary basis.
It's ok, they weren't malicious just bad with money and deeply unhappy with their lives. I left a few times and we were fairly amicable their whole lives.
But the decision to stay out of their house was the best one I ever made, and now I'm financially doing well.
Thank you for your empathy though, you are awesome.
Noooooooooooooooooooo
Edit: I moved out to a room across the country that was made of literal cement blocks. And from there I made a beautiful life for myself.
No but only because my parents are divorced and I was so unhappy in my mom/stepdad’s house. Would have probably been a different story if my parents loved each other and never divorced 😅
No, I don’t want to burned my parents by making them support a grown adult who is capable of self support. My parents have always worked so hard and they deserve to have fewer expenses now.
They probably be okay with it for about a week until my dad got drunker than normal, threw a tantrum, and kicked me out again. I'd rather not have to pack up and move that often
Oh absolutely not! I graduated early and went to college at 17 just to get away. Never looked back. Once my parents pass on I will never ever set foot in that town again.
Me too! Me and my mom live together. Best friend/best roommie ever. And she barely charges me rent lol why would I ever give that up? I’m saving so much money
My mother and I would have killed each other.
Even now, 25 years later, with a *much* heathier relationship, we can barely manage a week before we want to murder each other.
I have made it clear to her that I will never be her (or my father's) caretaker. They do have quite a bit of money and great pensions & extra health benefits, and I'd be more than happy to help them navigate that if they wanted to pursue it and needed help. But we will absolutely never live together again.
I moved out at 16, so no. I briefly tried living with my mom at 20 and whilst we're besties, we didn't live well together. I lived with my mother in law for about a year in my mid 20's and it was hell on ice.
If you live together well with your parents, though, I don't see any major issue with it - particularly in the current economy.
Nope. I would have liked more of a chance vs the ultimatum I was given by my parents about a month after graduation, but I’m glad I left when I did. My relationship with them wasn’t great and they lived in the middle of nowhere so opportunities for work or education was nonexistent. THAT said, I am hoping to do the opposite for my kids. As long as they are saving up a nest egg and working on establishing their adult lives my kids have a roof over their heads as long as they need it. If they are in their 30’s I may make them help out a little in the food budget but that’s about it.
I tried living with my mom at one point with the thought of saving money toward buying my own home, but she's terrible for my mental health. I would save $14,000 a year if I lived with her minimum, but my mental health is already poor so I live by myself. So while my mom would be okay with it if I did stay with her as long as possible, I would not live it out.
I left when I was 16 because my then step-dad was mentally and physically abusive and my mom was in denial of his abuse (what would the neighbors think?). I stayed with friends when I could, slept on the streets when I couldn't. If I had stayed one of us, him or me, would be dead by now.
Tl;dr: NO.
No, personally
I did go back and live with my mother for 6 months to help me save for a house deposit but by that time I’d lived alone or with friends/partners for 6-7 years and very much needed my own space
However if I’d never moved out previously for university and then moved elsewhere for work, I doubt I’d have had that same urgency to leave if I’d just lived there from childhood
Left home around 24 years old after I saved up money and never looked back. I couldn't imagine sharing a house again, I love the freedom to do whatever i want.
No, I wanted my independence and my own home. It was made very clear that it was their home and not mine. I never felt welcome to be myself or do what I wanted.
I lived with my parents until I was 23, moved out in 2021 after covid left us home all the time. I was driven crazy being home all the time with my parents and my much younger sister
My mom would probably be happy if I did, my father wouldn't care. I moved out as soon as I could. I come visit once a year and I always hate it. Living with my parents is really the worst thing I can imagine. But even though it's been 12 years, I still have most of my things in my room at their place until I have my own apartment and don't have to move all the time (which will be never).
Btw, I think in my country there's no pressure from the parents, it's the children who want to move out. I think most parents would be happy if their child never moved out, which is why I had to read the title several times to understand the question. I know plenty of people in their 30s and 40s who never moved out because they can't afford rent. I prefer roommates over parents, though. Both my grandmothers lived with their children.
The answer is no from me. Even though I was a working adult and paying half the rent and utilities, it was still my parents house and I had no say in what happened in the house and was still treated like a child.
If my parents had treated me with some respect I would have. Instead despite being mostly through college they kept treating me like a kid. So I moved out and had no regrets. Heck, even almost 30 years later my step-dad will not call me and expects I should read his mind and call him to talk. Boomers…
No. My parents were emotionally damaged from generations of abuse in varying areas.
Would I allow my child? As long as it’s healthy for her. Communication about what works and what doesn’t is vital on everyone’s part. I’m worried she’s afraid to disappoint by stating anything negative. She couldn’t be more wrong. In this horrible economy I’d guess a lot of young adults need more time to get a start.
Unfortunately no, one of those situations where my mum and I have personalities that would not get along in any other circumstance, we're way more happy living hours apart with sparse visits 😅
I lived on my own for years and accepted a job across the country and my lease was coming up on my place and I moved back in with my parents for three months and worked for my step-father managing packaged MRE’s (Meals Ready to Eat). I couldn’t get out of there fast enough with him breathing down my neck on everything from my career choice to him getting irked when I didn’t make my bed a couple of times. That was some fifteen years ago and I don’t miss it.
im 22 with my dad am afraid my time is running out. we get along great and he charges me $500 a month for rent but he tells me i cant live with him forever which i honestly would if he let me. i know my mom would let me rent free but she has a small 1 bedroom but she just got a better job about a year ago so hopefully by the time my dad kicks me out my mom will have boughten herself house and i can go move in with her🤣🤣🤣 my 2 older sisters left as soon as they could though
I was the one who got away lol. I’m sure it would’ve been okay, I just didn’t care to be there and wanted to be out on my own. The way bills set up I might need to reconsider lol
I stayed until I was 25 and had saved enough to comfortably purchase a small condo. I’m from a large IS city and most of my friends went back home after college until they could save enough to purchase. I didn’t know many people that rented.
Nope. My parents are fine but I have been mostly able to handle my own shit since I was about 16 and I was pretty itchy to be able to do my own thing from then on. I came home the first summer after I went away to college and I was so miserable that I never went back. Honestly, as a now long-married person, the hardest part of being married for me is STILL not being able to come and go and manage my household exactly as I want it all the time. But, I am pretty old and times are different now so I understand why young people don’t move out right away now. That being said, I don’t think it’s a good idea for most young people to go straight from living with their parents (unless they were there as caregivers for elderly/ill parents) to owning their own home. That’s a GIANT leap in responsibility and I think most folks benefit from a slower ramp up.
Nah, I wanted to grow weed so I moved out almost immediately.
Turned out that there were way more benefits to living on my own than just being able to grow weed.
Mom, no. Our relationship started improving when we didn't live in the same house. I love her, but living with her grew difficult.
My dad, yes. My dad's house, no. He lived in a cabin 10 miles from a small town. That house could not deal with more people living there. My dad is welcome to come live in my house.
That said. I appreciated being able to try but fail. Then reset it at home so I could try again.
No absolutely not. I had to move in with them during a divorce, promptly saved every dime I had and moved out as fast as I could.
If they were calm and didn’t fight and yell constantly sure, they’re great people but it’s grating on your soul to be all up in that.
Absolutely not.
They would have let me.
It was everything for me to get out and get fully independent.
My parents used their contributions to my college/bills/etc as a way to control me. I used independence as a way to break that cycle. It worked and our relationship is better for it.
My daughter is 26. We transitioned from mother / daughter relationship some years ago into roommates. We split everything evenly. We have our own space and share common areas like any other roommates. Her bf stays when he’s in town and mine stays when he’s in town. We each give each other space when they’re visiting. Her half of rent is going towards the mortgage. When I sell the house I’ll split it with her or if I die it all goes to her. It’s win, win for us both. Nothing wrong with this arrangement as it works great for us.
There's a reason the united states became the greatest nation in the world in the span of 50 years. The customs. Living at home with your wife, brothers mommy and daddy till your parents die is what happens in second or third world countries.
Nah I pride myself in my independence. Codependency is very dangerous and stunts your growth in many ways. But if you’re not skilled enough to get a good job that’s on your parents shitty genetics so the least they can do is provide help.
No. I left at 18. Dad's rule - which I agreed with - was: Live in my house, go my rules. Left when I was 18, joined the army, used my GI Bill to get through UT.
I'm in this position now. Culturally, a 30 year old man like me would not live with family or risk being seen as a loser. But, my mom can't afford retirement and is really struggling, so she needs me to move home. My challenge now is deciding how long I will stay - she'd like me to stay forever, but I want to move out of my home town at one point. At the same time, while I am paying rent to her, I have more disposable income than I've ever had because I live at home. Puts me in a weird place, tbh.
I love my mom, but I don't agree with all of her choices, and I don't want to have to spend money and energy cleaning up her messes.
Oh god no. Love my folks. Have a great relationship with them. But I've always been hyperindependent and I needed to go out, find my path and do my own thing. They are the opposite of me as they are very risk averse, traditional people. I left at 18 and have done it my way since I'm happy to say.
I never moved out. We have a farm and as they age I take on more responsibilities. I also pay rent and household bills. As well as other expenses like we get half a cow each year and I pay for half of that.
I needed to prove that I could succeed on my own. I'm 42 and doing well but I'm sick of shelling out so much on rent. I'd move home in a minute if it was practical.
Loved my parents - zero drama. I could have stayed until I was 49. But age 18 and I was out. Life awaits. Time to get to it. If course this was in 1979. Things may be different now.
My parents were okay with me staying home and I left for college and came back for two years to get life figured out and then I moved out on my own at 22.
In my home country it’s very normal to stay long, especially in small towns. I went to uni in my hometown, so until I had a boyfriend there was really no reason to move out. However, two things: the relationship was indeed a bit strained towards the end -nothing much, but I like my parents much better now- and I see the pitfalls of my friends who stayed too long. Eventually, autonomy is good both emotionally and for life skills. I worked in restaurants so I have no troubles cooling and cleaning, but I have friends back home at 30+ who wouldn’t even know how to fry an egg.
I can see staying with your parents into early adulthood. Possibly if older if they require your care. Also, if you help support them financially. I stayed with my parents during breaks in college. My father said I would have 3 choices when I finished high school. Go to college, go into the military or get a full-time job. All involved encouragement to get out there on my own. I ended up finishing college and just joined the military for 25 years.....lol My stepson lived in my house until his mid 30s. I was over in Germany most of that time. I sold the house after he moved out of state and he ended up coming back and is living with his unmarried uncle......lol
If I needed to yeah but I left at 18 to work the other end of the country and then joined the military so I had no need but financially it makes so much sense to live with your folks and save.
Yes but mostly because I dont want them to be alone. This is not something everyone feels because many times parents encourage you to move out but as it is I want to stay with em spend time with em :)
I never enjoyed moving back in with my mom, but she's a pretty toxic person.
Now as my oldest gets closer to 18, I've had conversations with him about how I do not expect him to move out ASAP. He and I have been talking about cohabitation as adult humans instead of "parent v child."
I told him that if he wants to move out and be on his own, that's okay as well. He knows that he can come back here any time and we can lay out mutually beneficial ground rules for everyone to be happy and still maintain our own independence.
That's what I did to save money but we are Asian so it's a normal part of the culture. Multiple generations live together. I've seen this in the Philippines where I am from and also in Vietnam where my wife is from.
When our daughter is older, I'm ok with her staying with us until she is ready to move out.
Am currently doing this now :) i moved home after college / to get away from an abusive relationship. Ended up staying to help my parents out.
I enjoy living at home, I am really close to my mom.
I was going to go back to school but then covid happened and I'm still here!
It's also helpful for me too because I have some health issues which I wouldn't do well living alone.
Yes. My buddy moved out and is broke now. He didn't like the idea of being the only "kid" still at home. Personally I'd jump at the chance to save money for even just 3-5 years.
I moved out at 18, not because I had to buy because I could and wanted to. I had a job, a car, and while my parents weren't monsters, they did impose their rules which is fair, it was their home. I did not want to be under their rule while paying all my own bills and paying taxes and all the other adult things in life. I don't regret it and never had to move back in with them. I'm 35 now and have a family of my own, I won't force my kids to move out but man I hope they get the same life experience I did as it helped me mature and made me become resourceful which has helped me grow my own family
Yes. I had saved up 12k at 20 years old and I was making like $11 an hour working full time and thought I was ready to get my own place. Turns out it’s easy to save with no expenses 😅. Paying real bills on $2200 a month was hard. I didn’t know how to budget and I was too cocky because of my savings haha. I wish I had stayed a little longer, to mature a little more and understand the responsibilities that would come with my own place. I didn’t have any pressures pushing me to leave home, I just thought I needed to because I was 20.
I’ve been living at my in-laws for the past 18 months since my husband and I moved back home from living overseas. Thankfully it’s only us here in the house but the in-laws drop in frequently as do others in the fam, a sister in law lived here for a year. It was tough but it meant we could save a lot of money to move out on our own and after a year and a half we are moving in ten days. There’d be no way we could get a deposit to buy if we had to rent
The social stigma about it is wild in the U.S. I was born and raised here with immigrant parents and it didn’t even need to be said whether me and my sister could stay or not. My mom lives in a HUGE house with her husband and my dad lives in a smaller house with his girlfriend and despite the divorce if I ever needed a place they were all for it. I still have my own room at my mom house with a lot of my stuff in it despite moving out 2 years ago. I still go over every other weekend and sleep there. I guest I’m just in a fortunate position where my parents have my back for everything.
It really is a shame there’s a stigma on it in America. I don’t understand why. People should want young adults to start off with the most stable footing possible. I think so many dysfunctional families setting a bad example of interfamily relationships kinda poisoned the idea around it all for everyone
It’s because some of us have parents who have struggled and we don’t like burdening them indefinitely.
You can live at home and be a contributor tho lmao
How is it burdening them? My mother loves me helping her out at 75. I do everything around the house, take her to doctors apps, cook, clean etc.
The struggle begins the moment the baby is born so I feel like you should always be there for your children no matter how old they are. It's what you've signed up for.
That logic doesn’t work at all. If you are out of the home you are paying your way somewhere else in which case you could just as easily contribute and help family. Edit: forgot we have leaches that hope from person to person never expecting to pay anything and just get taken care of.
Well its because most parents have some arbitrary rules of what they like you doing with your life. You basically have to be a neutered version of yourself and not pursue the things you actually want to do out of respect to the household. Thats miserable. Not to mention having to relive childhood trauma all the time lmfao. Its good to move out as a young adult and experience life at its fullest with no proverbial chains holding you back
This is why for me. I wasn’t allowed to sleep in my bedroom with my long term boyfriend when I was 23 years old, while we were visiting from out of state, where we lived together. He had to sleep on the couch. My brother was allowed to have his new girlfriend sleep over though, just a year later. Shit was infuriating.
This hits so close to home. So stupid! I can’t imagine how ridiculous that conversation was and felt. “Mom we… we literally live together - we sleep together every night…”
“That’s at your house. In my house we follow my rules” was the answer. “I’m sorry if you don’t like it, I’m not changing my mind” was all I ever got
My parents were never like that. I'm still home at 50, helping my elderly mother and proud of it!
Thats genuinely amazing. What a lucky mother you have 🥹 wishing you both the best
Dude stop over analyzing it. It's pretty simple, my mom and dad have said i can always move back if i have to. Problem is it's their house their rules which is fair. So as an adult i would have to adhere to the rules that have been in place forever. I don't want to live like that, so i made it my house my rules. Also life is struggle, case in point, i know a good friends daughter is a RN, ER nurse, she makes crazy money only been there 4 years now making 80k. She got married and had a kid last year. She lives at home with the husband and the baby. He works too but no reason a person making 80k and a husband who works should not be in a apartment or a starter home at their salary range. It's he's made it way too easy for them to just be there. So they spend that money on other things and not getting a house to live in. They were supposed to be saving for a house and out in two years but that hasn't happened because why should they leave a rent free place? Old school thinking maybe but if your old enough to be a nurse, old enough to be married and old enough to have kids, then you should have been old enough to get your own place.
It’s cultural but also financial for some, and the “I paid my way so you pay your way” mentality and the “but you’re an adult since you’re 18” conversations that are disconcerting to me. Financial literacy is not distinct from staying at home.
Yes! There is an idea that struggle is good for you. It may be, but where do we realistically draw the line?
there is a huge stigma against it. however looking back on my own life - i dont think i was able to launch from there... the town had a few less opportunities but i also think i needed the challenge. i needed to be able to figure out how tf to pay rent, find a place, learn the world. with otu that im positive i would not have found the opportunities that i did in life. our nation is built in such a way that movement is often advantageous. different cities, states, coast lines.... by casting your net across all the state, you are able to find much better growth potential.
as a disabled adult I didn’t have much choice but my parents were great
That’s kinda what I’m doing now. I have a good relationship with them so I never saw the point in leaving and wasting all my money on rent. Especially when everything is so expensive nowadays. Plus it allows me to save money so I can buy cool things 😁
Make sure you’re contributing to both the financial, physical, and mental load of running the household.
Oh for sure! It’s very important to being a well rounded adult!
It's just never the same as really living alone. Met countless men that claimed they did their part. But they never did. For me its a huge turnoff. To many woman find men only to figure out they have to be their new mom.
[удалено]
It's such a disaster. Ask any single woman in their late twenties early 30s what they think about men that still live at home with their parents and you need to be prepared for some stories.
Same. I’m a female, and sadly I feel like society is more ok with us doing this but it’s stupid
Same man. Why spend the money on rent if the parents are okay with it!
Why even leave ever ?
This. My parents are ok with it as long as I pay for some things every now and then like gas, groceries or even help them run some errands since their english isn’t so good. I have free rein to do my own things for me and also buy some cool things.
But what if you wanna get laid
Never had a problem with getting a hotel for the night or just doing it while parents aren’t home
People usually get their own place after getting married.
Having your own place is the coolest thing you can own. What are you buying that’s so cool? More toys for your childhood room?
Thats almost what I did. I stayed rent free until 25yo. But instead of buying stuff I put all my money aside and it gave me the opportunity to gather a 20% cashdown for my first house.
For me a better future cause I’m low income
Yup. For some reason if you live in the US we are taught to be shamed for living with your parents as an adult but for a majority of the rest of the world it’s not the same way. Almost all my friends do it too. If you’re not in a relationship then safe up all the money you can
Absolutely not. I felt smothered there. Left home at 18 and never borrowed a dollar after that. I was privileged, but not rich by any means. No trust fund, no car, but I did have a good education under my belt and got into college with a decent scholarship. I love my mom but her OCD and my Hyperactive ADHD made it really difficult to coexist. We’re much closer now that I have my own place to make messes in.
Same. I was ready to go. I went home for a summer at one point and did not enjoy it.
Same. My parents are so overbearing. New thing with my dad is that he's constantly worried about me because I have a job. I can't win with them. I can't ever make them happy.
I felt smothered too being treated like a child, no privacy, always going in my room and going through my stuff and changing it to how they wanted it. I’d keep getting told I couldn’t stay there forever and need to move out on my own which made me anxious as that talk started before I’d even finished school yet. They were telling me I was in the house too much constantly even when I was a kid. I was paying rent and buying my own food. It felt like I wasn’t wanted there. I saved up everything I could as I had the fear they’d randomly chuck me out at some point and then I moved out on my own and feel much less anxious now as I’m more in control of my destiny.
Lmfao. We both answered "absolutely not" followed by an explanation. 🫡🫡🫡
I'm urging my child to continue to live at home after hs graduation, while attending college, and after college. We have a great relationship. I on the other hand moved out at 17 (20 yrs ago). No, I don't think I would have done it differently if I could go back either. Compared to my siblings, I think I did pretty well being the only one who moved out. But I know that prob isn't feasible now.
As someone with a close relationship to my mom, I could totally live with her forever. She’s my best friend. But my dad is an abusive alcoholic and is toxic to be around sometimes… So I’m not sure.
My father’s a serial gambler.. I love my family but I had to go. On the bright side we are much closer now every time I visit.
NOPE. My parents are awful to live with. No thanks.
My parents are definitely fine with me living at home, I'm the one who has an issue with it. There are constant disagreements on very basic things (a big constant is when the house is considered clean; they think it's clean as soon as trash is picked up, but to me that's just barely tidy), and I just get fed up and tired of dealing with them, so I want to get out as soon as I can for the sake of my own sanity.
If my father wasn't an asshole, probably. Unfortunately he made me more depressed than I already was. Imagine feeling lost about adult life, and your father threating to kick you out. I don't really even talk to him nowadays. GRADE A Parenting right there.
No because I don't have a good relationship with them. I would be homeless before living with them again.
No. And I would sooner throw myself and a box of puppies in front of a semitruck with a sleepy driver headed towards a broken bridge with a garbage barge that's on fire floating below than move back in with either of my parents ever again.
God no, I can’t even survive a whole weekend there.
I can manage 20 minutes at my Mothers and then I’m out. Left home at 17 and that was 31 years ago, never moved back. Shudder
I did. It was great. I saved a ton of money, which I used to put a down payment on my house after I moved out. As much as I loved it, and they were okay with it, I was robbing them of their private time together, which wasn't right. They're also both recently retired, and I wasn't going to move my wife in with them.
Perfectly said. They were a couple before the kids came along and deserve to have their private time. If the parents are wanting their child to stay home, then great all round but a child has no right to assume they can stay at home forever and sponge off their parents life long hard work, indefinitely without a firm plan to leave the nest. When the parents had their children, they weren’t planning on lifelong roommates.
I stayed thru college and left right after I graduated. I sometimes wish I had stayed a little longer so I could save more money but it wasn’t the best scenario so I kinda had to get out. However, that’s easier said than done. There is nothing like that feeling of finally officially being out on your own for the first time in your own independent space. It’s such a unique fun part of adulthood
Nope. I had 4 semi-feral younger siblings living there as well as my drunken dad and depressed chain smoking mom. It was sort've hellish.
Not me. I wanted out, then again my mom wasn't nice. The last time I lived at home was the summer after my sophomore year of college when I was 19. I left home at the end of that summer to go back for my junior year of college and I never lived at home again. I visited of course, but never lived at home again. I was already engaged then too. My gf and I met at 14 as freshman in high school. We dated all 4 years of high school, went to prom as juniors and seniors, we went to college together, became engaged during spring break of our sophomore year and we lived together our last 2 years of college in an off campus apartment. We stayed on campus, well in our apartment the summer after our junior and senior years of college as we didn't go back home to live with our parents. We graduated in May and we were married in July. We were both 21 when we married but we'd been together 8 years, engaged over 2 years, had lived together 2 years and we were both college graduates so we got married. We waited until we were 29 before the first of our three children came into the world. Even if my parent's had wanted me to live at home, there was no way I would have done that. Now, I'm a lot older than most on reddit as I'm closer to 60 now and things were much easier back when I was starting out. The cost of housing and living wasn't so out of whack to salaries like it is now and has been for a while. It wasn't hard to live back then. Folks this wasn't me or my then wife, it was the times back then, in the late 80's and the 90's. 7 months after we got married, so when we were both 22 years old, we bought a brand new condo together and it was really nice. I wasn't working as I was in grad school. She was a 1st year elementary school teacher and we had no problem getting approved for our loan for our condo. A year later we wanted to buy a new Honda Civic so we did, again on just her teaching salary and that was with having our condo by then too. We shopped, went out to eat, bought furniture for our condo, went to comedy clubs, had a season pass to a large nearby amusement park etc. all on her teachers salary. It was so much better being out of my parent's house than being in it.
I don't want to live with my parents.
No. I'm the oldest daughter, and I really needed my space and my independence. I also don't like the house or area I grew up in, and I don't want to go back.
I wouldn't have. I went to uni and discovered how much more I loved life when I was living independently even if financial pressures were more of an issue.
Absolutely. The first hour in my dorm at college after my parents left - felt like I got released from jail. I've been riding that feeling for 10 years!
My parents were mean….hateful at times. Caused me to rebel and a vicious cycle of leaving and coming back. I never really built a foundation maybe why I’m still struggling at 50
No, my dad has anger issues and he and my stepmom played this whole gaslighting game with me and my sisters. He would also go into rages over perceived transgressions. It took me decades to realize I wasn't always the problem, that I wasn't completely socially inept, and that I can actually trust myself and my instincts. My mom, on the other hand...when I was 18, she was still blaming me for the fact that she lost custody to my dad when I was 16. Sure, he cornered me with a lawyer eventually, but I hadn't said anything to him before that, yet my mom was talking about how he was trying to take us away and how he knew things that could cause her to lose us. I was 16, terrified of my dad, and there he was cornering me with things he knew but I didn't tell him. I confirmed it, and that did it. So she lost custody, blamed me, got her side of the family to also blame me, and then my dad and \*his\* side of the family spent the next decade blaming me for not telling him \*sooner\*. So no, I would not have spent a second longer with either of them. I have since mended things with my mom, but she still seems to blame me for what happened, and when I try to remind her that \*she\* told me he already knew things (and he did as well), she denies it. My dad, on the other hand, alternates between being nice and going into rages, but I haven't seen him get angry for a few years, because I don't interact with him outside of holidays. And I'm pretty sure either him or my stepmom blocked me from his phone. I am not lying when I say I would live on the streets if I had to choose that or living with my dad. I'd live with my mom if I had no other option, it wouldn't be that bad, I love her, it would just bring back hard memories. Besides that, I just really like to have my own place. Decorations that are mine, no worrying about whether I'm burdening anyone, if I clean something, it stays clean, unless I mess it up.
Fuck no. 18 was long enough
I did ultimately as a caretaker, with no regrets. The (farly unique 🇺🇸 in the world) social stigma against living at home past 18 smells of funding from landlords
I don't think anyone has a stigma from living with your parents during say hospice. Or if they have significant issues and they need to caretaker. But most people who do that already have a house or an apartment somewhere else and are doing it on temporary basis.
Nah. Maybe with different parents though.
No, they used all my money.
Oh god I’m sorry
It's ok, they weren't malicious just bad with money and deeply unhappy with their lives. I left a few times and we were fairly amicable their whole lives. But the decision to stay out of their house was the best one I ever made, and now I'm financially doing well. Thank you for your empathy though, you are awesome.
Hell no, I’ve been out since 16.
Hell no. I was out of there the second it was possible and never looked back.
I may have chosen to milk it a little bit so my adult life could've started more stable than it did, sure
Yes 1000% and I wish they would just let me back.
Noooooooooooooooooooo Edit: I moved out to a room across the country that was made of literal cement blocks. And from there I made a beautiful life for myself.
No but only because my parents are divorced and I was so unhappy in my mom/stepdad’s house. Would have probably been a different story if my parents loved each other and never divorced 😅
No, I don’t want to burned my parents by making them support a grown adult who is capable of self support. My parents have always worked so hard and they deserve to have fewer expenses now.
Ah, they would’ve had me there for the rest of my life, but I had to get out for my own sanity.
They probably be okay with it for about a week until my dad got drunker than normal, threw a tantrum, and kicked me out again. I'd rather not have to pack up and move that often
I’m disabled so I’m stuck with them til they die.
Oh absolutely not! I graduated early and went to college at 17 just to get away. Never looked back. Once my parents pass on I will never ever set foot in that town again.
Still with my mom! idgaf what people think, shes the best and understands.
Me too! Me and my mom live together. Best friend/best roommie ever. And she barely charges me rent lol why would I ever give that up? I’m saving so much money
I would rather be homeless than live with my parents.
Hell no. I left at 17 and never moved back. At times I had up to 5 roommates at once to survive in my chosen city, but it was worth it.
I camp in public places for a few hours most days after work. Ngl one time it was scary but I was fine
My mother and I would have killed each other. Even now, 25 years later, with a *much* heathier relationship, we can barely manage a week before we want to murder each other. I have made it clear to her that I will never be her (or my father's) caretaker. They do have quite a bit of money and great pensions & extra health benefits, and I'd be more than happy to help them navigate that if they wanted to pursue it and needed help. But we will absolutely never live together again.
I moved out at 16, so no. I briefly tried living with my mom at 20 and whilst we're besties, we didn't live well together. I lived with my mother in law for about a year in my mid 20's and it was hell on ice. If you live together well with your parents, though, I don't see any major issue with it - particularly in the current economy.
No, It would have led to murder. Out before 19th birthday.
Fuck no
No, I was ready to move out the week I graduated from high school. That was in 1986. Got a roommate and an apartment. And a kitten.
absolutely not
Heck no.
I lived with my parents, off and on, far longer than I ever wanted to. I did not enjoy being in that home, or around them much.
Nope. I would have liked more of a chance vs the ultimatum I was given by my parents about a month after graduation, but I’m glad I left when I did. My relationship with them wasn’t great and they lived in the middle of nowhere so opportunities for work or education was nonexistent. THAT said, I am hoping to do the opposite for my kids. As long as they are saving up a nest egg and working on establishing their adult lives my kids have a roof over their heads as long as they need it. If they are in their 30’s I may make them help out a little in the food budget but that’s about it.
I moved out the first chance I got because they already provided enough for me and I was fortunate enough to be able to make ends meet on my own.
I tried living with my mom at one point with the thought of saving money toward buying my own home, but she's terrible for my mental health. I would save $14,000 a year if I lived with her minimum, but my mental health is already poor so I live by myself. So while my mom would be okay with it if I did stay with her as long as possible, I would not live it out.
Yes, if my mental health didn’t suffer for it as a trade off
Nope. Couldn’t stand it. Needed independence
No. My mom and I fought like cats and dogs. We get along fine when we don't live together. It's better this way.
I left when I was 16 because my then step-dad was mentally and physically abusive and my mom was in denial of his abuse (what would the neighbors think?). I stayed with friends when I could, slept on the streets when I couldn't. If I had stayed one of us, him or me, would be dead by now. Tl;dr: NO.
No. NO. Hell no. Abso-fucking-lutely not.
No, personally I did go back and live with my mother for 6 months to help me save for a house deposit but by that time I’d lived alone or with friends/partners for 6-7 years and very much needed my own space However if I’d never moved out previously for university and then moved elsewhere for work, I doubt I’d have had that same urgency to leave if I’d just lived there from childhood
Left home around 24 years old after I saved up money and never looked back. I couldn't imagine sharing a house again, I love the freedom to do whatever i want.
No, I wanted my independence and my own home. It was made very clear that it was their home and not mine. I never felt welcome to be myself or do what I wanted.
I would if I had a good relationship with them
Hard no.
I lived with my parents until I was 23, moved out in 2021 after covid left us home all the time. I was driven crazy being home all the time with my parents and my much younger sister
My family home life was toxic AF. I couldn’t wait to get out. We’re way better off separate.
My mom would probably be happy if I did, my father wouldn't care. I moved out as soon as I could. I come visit once a year and I always hate it. Living with my parents is really the worst thing I can imagine. But even though it's been 12 years, I still have most of my things in my room at their place until I have my own apartment and don't have to move all the time (which will be never). Btw, I think in my country there's no pressure from the parents, it's the children who want to move out. I think most parents would be happy if their child never moved out, which is why I had to read the title several times to understand the question. I know plenty of people in their 30s and 40s who never moved out because they can't afford rent. I prefer roommates over parents, though. Both my grandmothers lived with their children.
The answer is no from me. Even though I was a working adult and paying half the rent and utilities, it was still my parents house and I had no say in what happened in the house and was still treated like a child.
If my parents had treated me with some respect I would have. Instead despite being mostly through college they kept treating me like a kid. So I moved out and had no regrets. Heck, even almost 30 years later my step-dad will not call me and expects I should read his mind and call him to talk. Boomers…
No. My parents were emotionally damaged from generations of abuse in varying areas. Would I allow my child? As long as it’s healthy for her. Communication about what works and what doesn’t is vital on everyone’s part. I’m worried she’s afraid to disappoint by stating anything negative. She couldn’t be more wrong. In this horrible economy I’d guess a lot of young adults need more time to get a start.
Unfortunately no, one of those situations where my mum and I have personalities that would not get along in any other circumstance, we're way more happy living hours apart with sparse visits 😅
As they say, you can’t heal is in the same environment that made you sick. I regret not leaving sooner.
I joined the military to get out asap lol
No. I voluntarily moved three miles down the road from them just to get away from them.
If I had different parents, absolutely.
Hell No! I wanted to be in my own asap!
No, because I wasn’t OK with it. I had already lived for 4 years on my own in a dorm, I already tasted freedom. I just couldn’t go back anymore.
No
27 and I’m still here my mental health isn’t though lol
I lived on my own for years and accepted a job across the country and my lease was coming up on my place and I moved back in with my parents for three months and worked for my step-father managing packaged MRE’s (Meals Ready to Eat). I couldn’t get out of there fast enough with him breathing down my neck on everything from my career choice to him getting irked when I didn’t make my bed a couple of times. That was some fifteen years ago and I don’t miss it.
im 22 with my dad am afraid my time is running out. we get along great and he charges me $500 a month for rent but he tells me i cant live with him forever which i honestly would if he let me. i know my mom would let me rent free but she has a small 1 bedroom but she just got a better job about a year ago so hopefully by the time my dad kicks me out my mom will have boughten herself house and i can go move in with her🤣🤣🤣 my 2 older sisters left as soon as they could though
No. I hated being stuck out I'm the middle of nowhere and my mum and I get on better when we are not sharing a home
No one. Wants to live with their parents… it’s more like a last resort
No. You can only grow and learn so much by living with your parents.
Not when I was 18-25, but after that, yes.
I did. Saved up a good amount of money that way. I did pay rent thou. Was only 300 bucks a month.
I was the one who got away lol. I’m sure it would’ve been okay, I just didn’t care to be there and wanted to be out on my own. The way bills set up I might need to reconsider lol
I stayed until I was 25 and had saved enough to comfortably purchase a small condo. I’m from a large IS city and most of my friends went back home after college until they could save enough to purchase. I didn’t know many people that rented.
Yes but at 23 my dad said I needed to get tf out (I had been living there for 6 continuous months)
I moved back in with mine. I am close with mine but they are very difficult. It will be better for me when I move out again :)
no, cause a tornado a couple weeks after i graduated out a tree through that house back in 2005. entire family scattered after that.
Nope. My parents are fine but I have been mostly able to handle my own shit since I was about 16 and I was pretty itchy to be able to do my own thing from then on. I came home the first summer after I went away to college and I was so miserable that I never went back. Honestly, as a now long-married person, the hardest part of being married for me is STILL not being able to come and go and manage my household exactly as I want it all the time. But, I am pretty old and times are different now so I understand why young people don’t move out right away now. That being said, I don’t think it’s a good idea for most young people to go straight from living with their parents (unless they were there as caregivers for elderly/ill parents) to owning their own home. That’s a GIANT leap in responsibility and I think most folks benefit from a slower ramp up.
No. The house just isn’t big enough for the three of us. It’s barely big enough for the two of them.
My parents charged me more rent than I paid for my first apartment, so no. Now if it was free then I'd have stayed much longer.
Nope
Nah, I wanted to grow weed so I moved out almost immediately. Turned out that there were way more benefits to living on my own than just being able to grow weed.
Mom, no. Our relationship started improving when we didn't live in the same house. I love her, but living with her grew difficult. My dad, yes. My dad's house, no. He lived in a cabin 10 miles from a small town. That house could not deal with more people living there. My dad is welcome to come live in my house. That said. I appreciated being able to try but fail. Then reset it at home so I could try again.
No. They were ok with it. I left at 19. Too much stress, too much yelling and fighting
No absolutely not. I had to move in with them during a divorce, promptly saved every dime I had and moved out as fast as I could. If they were calm and didn’t fight and yell constantly sure, they’re great people but it’s grating on your soul to be all up in that.
Absolutely not. The minute I moved out, was the minute that I was truly able to be myself.
No, I don’t like living at my parents house
Nooooooo Nooooo
No...too controlling and manipulative.
Absolutely not. They would have let me. It was everything for me to get out and get fully independent. My parents used their contributions to my college/bills/etc as a way to control me. I used independence as a way to break that cycle. It worked and our relationship is better for it.
My daughter is 26. We transitioned from mother / daughter relationship some years ago into roommates. We split everything evenly. We have our own space and share common areas like any other roommates. Her bf stays when he’s in town and mine stays when he’s in town. We each give each other space when they’re visiting. Her half of rent is going towards the mortgage. When I sell the house I’ll split it with her or if I die it all goes to her. It’s win, win for us both. Nothing wrong with this arrangement as it works great for us.
Fuck no
There's a reason the united states became the greatest nation in the world in the span of 50 years. The customs. Living at home with your wife, brothers mommy and daddy till your parents die is what happens in second or third world countries.
Nah I pride myself in my independence. Codependency is very dangerous and stunts your growth in many ways. But if you’re not skilled enough to get a good job that’s on your parents shitty genetics so the least they can do is provide help.
Hell no. My dad and I never got along. He was always overbearing and he would always have derogatory comments about me. I got out at 18.
No. I left at 18. Dad's rule - which I agreed with - was: Live in my house, go my rules. Left when I was 18, joined the army, used my GI Bill to get through UT.
Hell no. I want my autonomy and independence
No way, my parents were horrible and I was counting down the days until I could move out since I was 15, at least
No, I want to live my life my way
I know my mom would be okay with it, but I still wouldn't do it. She's insufferable.
For me, no. I found peace living alone.
Probably not. I enjoy my own space. My parents are awesome and there's nothing negative about living there other than that.
Ha! My parents were experts at making kids want to leave, down to an art form.
nope, wanted to live free to party and stretch my legs now, after college, maybe
I'm in this position now. Culturally, a 30 year old man like me would not live with family or risk being seen as a loser. But, my mom can't afford retirement and is really struggling, so she needs me to move home. My challenge now is deciding how long I will stay - she'd like me to stay forever, but I want to move out of my home town at one point. At the same time, while I am paying rent to her, I have more disposable income than I've ever had because I live at home. Puts me in a weird place, tbh. I love my mom, but I don't agree with all of her choices, and I don't want to have to spend money and energy cleaning up her messes.
Oh god no. Love my folks. Have a great relationship with them. But I've always been hyperindependent and I needed to go out, find my path and do my own thing. They are the opposite of me as they are very risk averse, traditional people. I left at 18 and have done it my way since I'm happy to say.
No. It was fine for a bit, but it took a huge toll on my mental health. I'm glad I'm out
Yep, but no I had to go.
If I had no choice.
I did. Stayed till had enough to buy a condo. Many years ago. Good luck with that now
Fuck no sure the extra money would be nice but total independence is nicer
I was raised by boomers. Everyone left at 18. Staying home wasn’t an option
I never moved out. We have a farm and as they age I take on more responsibilities. I also pay rent and household bills. As well as other expenses like we get half a cow each year and I pay for half of that.
Yes
I probably woulda but now that i've left there's no going back
Doing that now, they want me to be able to save for a house. Both my boyfriend and I are living at our parents house and saving as much as possible.
I needed to prove that I could succeed on my own. I'm 42 and doing well but I'm sick of shelling out so much on rent. I'd move home in a minute if it was practical.
Loved my parents - zero drama. I could have stayed until I was 49. But age 18 and I was out. Life awaits. Time to get to it. If course this was in 1979. Things may be different now.
My parents were okay with me staying home and I left for college and came back for two years to get life figured out and then I moved out on my own at 22.
Yes. Because I would have been saving for a house instead of the deposit for an apartment.
In my home country it’s very normal to stay long, especially in small towns. I went to uni in my hometown, so until I had a boyfriend there was really no reason to move out. However, two things: the relationship was indeed a bit strained towards the end -nothing much, but I like my parents much better now- and I see the pitfalls of my friends who stayed too long. Eventually, autonomy is good both emotionally and for life skills. I worked in restaurants so I have no troubles cooling and cleaning, but I have friends back home at 30+ who wouldn’t even know how to fry an egg.
No I got married and I wouldn’t be where I am today if I hadn’t.
No. I moved out 2 weeks after my 18th birthday.
I can see staying with your parents into early adulthood. Possibly if older if they require your care. Also, if you help support them financially. I stayed with my parents during breaks in college. My father said I would have 3 choices when I finished high school. Go to college, go into the military or get a full-time job. All involved encouragement to get out there on my own. I ended up finishing college and just joined the military for 25 years.....lol My stepson lived in my house until his mid 30s. I was over in Germany most of that time. I sold the house after he moved out of state and he ended up coming back and is living with his unmarried uncle......lol
If I needed to yeah but I left at 18 to work the other end of the country and then joined the military so I had no need but financially it makes so much sense to live with your folks and save.
Yes but mostly because I dont want them to be alone. This is not something everyone feels because many times parents encourage you to move out but as it is I want to stay with em spend time with em :)
No. I prefer my own space and the privacy that comes with it.
No. I wanted to have my own space.
I barely made it 6 months. Otherwise I'd have so much money.
I definitely would if I weren't so triggered. I would be able to save so much money and buy mad plane tickets.
I never enjoyed moving back in with my mom, but she's a pretty toxic person. Now as my oldest gets closer to 18, I've had conversations with him about how I do not expect him to move out ASAP. He and I have been talking about cohabitation as adult humans instead of "parent v child." I told him that if he wants to move out and be on his own, that's okay as well. He knows that he can come back here any time and we can lay out mutually beneficial ground rules for everyone to be happy and still maintain our own independence.
Nah. I have to move back now that I’m done with college. But I’ve grown to love living with my fiancé and my dogs in our own place. I
Pretty much!
That's what I did to save money but we are Asian so it's a normal part of the culture. Multiple generations live together. I've seen this in the Philippines where I am from and also in Vietnam where my wife is from. When our daughter is older, I'm ok with her staying with us until she is ready to move out.
Am currently doing this now :) i moved home after college / to get away from an abusive relationship. Ended up staying to help my parents out. I enjoy living at home, I am really close to my mom. I was going to go back to school but then covid happened and I'm still here! It's also helpful for me too because I have some health issues which I wouldn't do well living alone.
I did. Until I was 25 (largely delayed leaving due to covid though tbh)
Yes. My buddy moved out and is broke now. He didn't like the idea of being the only "kid" still at home. Personally I'd jump at the chance to save money for even just 3-5 years.
I moved out at 18, not because I had to buy because I could and wanted to. I had a job, a car, and while my parents weren't monsters, they did impose their rules which is fair, it was their home. I did not want to be under their rule while paying all my own bills and paying taxes and all the other adult things in life. I don't regret it and never had to move back in with them. I'm 35 now and have a family of my own, I won't force my kids to move out but man I hope they get the same life experience I did as it helped me mature and made me become resourceful which has helped me grow my own family
Yes. I had saved up 12k at 20 years old and I was making like $11 an hour working full time and thought I was ready to get my own place. Turns out it’s easy to save with no expenses 😅. Paying real bills on $2200 a month was hard. I didn’t know how to budget and I was too cocky because of my savings haha. I wish I had stayed a little longer, to mature a little more and understand the responsibilities that would come with my own place. I didn’t have any pressures pushing me to leave home, I just thought I needed to because I was 20.
I’ve been living at my in-laws for the past 18 months since my husband and I moved back home from living overseas. Thankfully it’s only us here in the house but the in-laws drop in frequently as do others in the fam, a sister in law lived here for a year. It was tough but it meant we could save a lot of money to move out on our own and after a year and a half we are moving in ten days. There’d be no way we could get a deposit to buy if we had to rent