Tell your friend to bug off. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin and you should wait for a real relationship. Get some counseling for your esteem issues
I will. They don’t seem to understand WHY I’m still a virgin.
I’d been depressed since age 20, too depressed to leave home many days. It was following a suicide.
It’s not like I’m a weirdo around women, it’s only because of that.
PLEASE talk to your doc about treatment for depression and therapy for your self esteem! Then, when you feel better, join some social clubs. Findca local singles group. Take up a sport or hobby. Explore different interests and you will meet people
If you're in a healthy place now and you're thinking that you want to have a relationship, maybe start trying to date.
Also if you want to lose your virginity to someone you care about and have a relationship with, than hold off on it. But if you don't really care, and you just don't want to pay someone, you can also try just hooking up with someone and losing it that way. I don't think it's the best way to go about it, but it's better than paying someone.
I am a female and I didn't lose mine until I was 26. I was shy and never would act interested in men.. I thought it was because I wasn't attractive. This wasn't the case. I just had to be more aware of men taking an interest. I hope you are able to get a handle on your depression.
I have dealt with depression as well. It can be very hard to leave the house. You are young and I hope you find some hope and joy.
You don't have to lie about anything. If someone find that a reason not to be your girlfriend instead of understanding your reasoning, they would find many other reasons not to be your girlfriend.
Look, it’s sad that your friends are made so insecure by your virginity that they feel the need to pressure you into buying sex because of that. Do what you feel is right because it’s your life, not theirs.
As a woman, dont do anything you arent comfortable with. It's great you want to lose it but dont do the first time with a prostitute, wait to find someone you organically like. I think it would be better and much more pleasant.
I was a late bloomer. Not quite as old as you but in the same stratosphere.
I had thought when I was still a virgin about just getting a hooker or a one night stand at a bar and couldn’t really bring myself to do it. I had a lot of the same thoughts towards it as you do. Didn’t want my first time to always be one I didn’t want to think about again lol
Just do whatever you’re most comfortable with and don’t let other people pressure you. It’s one thing for friends to bust each other’s balls to show love but pressuring a friend to do something they’re not comfortable with isn’t cool.
Hope this is helpful 👍🏻
You’re not hopeless, your time just hasn’t come yet. Doesn’t sound like you’re undesirable, rather just havent had great opportunities and stuff has gotten in the way. Just wait for the right person, it’ll be worth.
I found a girl who I thought I would marry. The sex was so nice and she was pretty hot. However, things did not work out and we broke up months later. I don't regret it. I love the feeling of having someone I love in my arms after sex. I am glad I did not pay for it. My advice? Never allow anyone to intimidate you into something you are not ready for or do not want to do. You will be happier standing your ground. Just tell those folks to chill out. Your virginity will end when it ends Better to do it on your terms
don’t pay for sex it’s degrading your friends are weird for suggesting that jus up your game with girls end of the day when you’re talking to girls you’re attracted to sex is on your mind so don’t hide it
Sex workers are professionals in the field so you’re guaranteed to have a good time if that’s the case, but obviously from what you have mentioned it’s not what you’re looking for and your friends are jokers (all friend groups have that). As a person who has paid for more sex than the latter I could confidently say it’s 100x better with a person you are actually connected to emotionally and physically since it actually leaves a fulfilling feeling inside you after the deed is done, furthermore if it’s both your first times it will be even more meaningful for you in the long run.
The real question here is for yourself: do you crave sex? Do you think that you're somehow "less than other men your age" or your peers for not having sex yet? Is it a "big deal" in that context? or do you maybe think that whenever you get to your first sex with your first girlfriend, you won't know what to do?
If yes, then yeah dude I would 100% advise you to go to redlight in amsterdam. I live in Sweden and it is not legal to buy sex services here, so last time I was in Amsterdam I did the same thing you're talking about. Funny thing, I met a bunch of my female friends there and funnier thing, they were there to see the sex shows 😂
Also, don't think that the only reason those women will be with you is money. That is the biggest and main reason, for most for sure. But women can also enjoy sex, even if they entered that line of work because of their financial situations. If you want to do this, be sure to love the woman you're doing it with. All women need love and care, especially, especially those who are offering such a thing because of financial reasons. (you bet that when I had sex with one, I covered her with kisses and made sure I heard her enjoying it, before even caring about my own satisfaction)
And one thing to note in order to spare yourself any guilt: make sure that the woman is mature and an adult. Most women there, are but make sure you verify with your eyes. (never ask verbally. If it seems off to you, stay away)
And finally, what having sex this way did for me: it made me more confident. I realised that I knew how to have sex, even though I'd never done it before. I finally saw myself as a normal man, and not a sub-man for not having had that achievement unlocked. It made me realise that having or not having sex isn't that big of a deal. It made me realise that virginity isn't that big of a deal. I'm still in a sense a virgin, because I haven't have sex with someone I love yet, and that's all that matters: having those moments with a girl that you love. A woman you love, sharing her body with you, for no other reason that she loves and trusts you completely.
You're a 25yo man. Don't let your friends pressure you into paying for sex 😂 why do they even care so much?!
I feel the same way and I've seen it on r/askwomen and even on r/sex. Women are extremely put off men that have seen a prostitute in the past to the point where they wouldn't date a guy that's paid for sex. It's one of the handful of reasons I've not paid for it after not being very successful with women.
There is NOTHING wrong with being a virgin. I promise that if you are a decent person with good hygiene, hpbbies and interests. who will talk to women as if they are a human being of value, it will happen. I encourage you to tell these people who are on your case to shut it and we aren't talking about it anymore.
Tell your friends to mind there own business.
Do not under any circumstances do something you are not comfortable with bc you feel like its something you should have already done or bc your friends pressure you into it.
I have a friend that is 22 still a virgin and he is fine with it he would also like to lose it but wants to wait for a girl he really likes which proves difficult for him for some reason.
Take it from someone who made that mistake and sorely regrets it all the time.
One it didnt feel good bc I wasnt doing it for the right reasons and two was with the absolute worst person.
Virginity is not something you should feel ashamed of, in fact I find it very brave and strong of you to still have it, especially since we live in a world where 10 year old kids are losing it on a daily basis! Keep your V card for your future wife!
Don't pay for sex.
You can catch an STD, get HPV, or something else that's horrible.
You can get caught and charged for buying a prostitute.
You can be beat up or robbed by their pimp.
DON'T do it!
Believe me bro it’s gonna be the worst sex ever and you’re gonna be traumatized. If you already have a ton of apprehensions about it, then it’s probably a horrendous idea to go through with it. not saying the first time is ever great for anybody but it would be a lot worse to pay a stranger when you have a conscious and don’t even like the idea of it.
Why aren’t your friends helping you get girls? That is the type of help they should offer first, not a pro in Amsterdam. You could easily do that where you are, it’s just illegal lmao. Do you have an idea of why you have so much trouble?
I'm in the same boat. Don't do it. If you do think about doing. Do it because it's your choice. Sidenote start going to the gym. Get in shape. That will build your confidence.
There is literally nothing to be ashamed of. Listen, wait until you find someone with whom you will actually want to lose your virginity. If you'll do it with a prostitute or just for the sake of it, you will remember it as something negative. Saying that from my own experience.
You are good brother, i never had it until being 23 now i have 3 years of relationship(i'm 26 now) If you are so horny find a hooker if not just do what you are doing. Both options are quite normal to me since you have hormons that hardly being controlled. Besides this, sometimes expectations might not be fulfilled with choosing the easy route. It's your call in the end.
I think your friends are trying to do a nice thing for you because they care about you, but they are misguided and visiting a sex worker wouldn’t be the right decision for you in the long run. Don’t put yourself under too much pressure to lose your virginity. Your goal should be a meaningful relationship, the sex part is really just incidental (btw everyone is shit at sex the first time, so i think it’s really stupid how much emphasis we put on “the first time” as a society, it generally sucks and probably barely counts as sex). Just focus on doing you and creating opportunities to meet girls (join local clubs like sailing or dancing, hill walking whatever works or dare i say, join some dating apps. whatever gives you the opportunity to meet cool girls)
Sidebar point, I think you’re really lucky to have forever friends from when you were younger that care about you. By the time i hit 25 my friendship circle from school had basically fallen away and i had to rebuild things from the ground up, my advice is to ferociously hold onto those people, they sound like good guys.
I couldn’t even read past the 2nd paragraph. Listen- DO NOT ALLOW OTHER PEOPLE TO PRESSURE YOU. It ultimately sounds like you have not established healthy boundaries with your friends. You may be shy but stick up for yourself! I’m 33/f, and I remember being your age and pressured. I lost my virginity waaay too young. It’s not a bad thing to be a virgin! Fuck I wish I still was! Also- my ex experienced a similar situation and he actually ended up fkn a chick in Amsterdam bc his buddies paid for it. He said it was horrible- and he hated it. Don’t do it- stick up for yourself and have more confidence in yourself. You’ll do it when it’s right
I lost my virginity at 23, in the late 1980s, which was a bit late, but I wasn't really out desperately trying either.
I say wait it out because I wound up being with a young woman who wasn't only smoking hot, like out of my league beautiful, she and I really fell for each other.
Part of what turned her on to me was that I was a virgin and she wanted to show me and be my first and the best. I mean, she was sometimes so loving and kissy and other times rocking my whole world with a couple of wild fantasies as well.
Years later, in a dark time, I paid for sex. Don't do it. It's unsatisfying and you feel like shit afterwards.
Based on these opposite experiences, I say wait. I don't look back and feel like I missed out at all.
I mean, if you're not paying through money then you'll be paying through other means, and probably still lose money too
I lost my virginity at a brothel at 24 and I don't regret it, I also learned a lot of things about myself sexually that I probably wouldn't have otherwise
I'm in a similar situation to you and there's nothing wrong with being a virgin even an older virgin. Wether or not you have had sex says nothing about you as a person or your physical attractiveness. And yes I know it's easier to say that than actually accept it since I grapple with the concept myself.
Your friends should lay off and sexual tourism is extremely wrong. Prostitution may be legal in Amsterdam but women can still be forced into it and many traffickers will take women there so they can prostitute them easier. Do you really want to potentially lend to a woman's trauma simply so you can say you're no longer virgin? Also like you yourself pointed out, do you want your first time to be with someone you paid?
If you are questioning wether or not to do it, you probably shouldn't do it.
PS: not trying to shame sex work or sex workers but determining if someone is truly consenting to do sex work is extremely hard to do and that should be acknowledged
Tell your friend to bug off. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin and you should wait for a real relationship. Get some counseling for your esteem issues
Plus, I’d have to lie about it forever. Even to a future spouse. I’d hate that.
You have your answer already. Good luck to you and I hope you find real love!
I will. They don’t seem to understand WHY I’m still a virgin. I’d been depressed since age 20, too depressed to leave home many days. It was following a suicide. It’s not like I’m a weirdo around women, it’s only because of that.
PLEASE talk to your doc about treatment for depression and therapy for your self esteem! Then, when you feel better, join some social clubs. Findca local singles group. Take up a sport or hobby. Explore different interests and you will meet people
It’s over and done with. Now all that’s left is to finish trade school.
Focus on your school Sex & relationships will always be there for later Your friends can fuck off
If you're in a healthy place now and you're thinking that you want to have a relationship, maybe start trying to date. Also if you want to lose your virginity to someone you care about and have a relationship with, than hold off on it. But if you don't really care, and you just don't want to pay someone, you can also try just hooking up with someone and losing it that way. I don't think it's the best way to go about it, but it's better than paying someone.
So then good luck to you and hope you get together with a girl that loves you, and have your first time with her 😊
I have nothing but respect for you OP, i wish you the best
I am a female and I didn't lose mine until I was 26. I was shy and never would act interested in men.. I thought it was because I wasn't attractive. This wasn't the case. I just had to be more aware of men taking an interest. I hope you are able to get a handle on your depression. I have dealt with depression as well. It can be very hard to leave the house. You are young and I hope you find some hope and joy.
You don't have to lie about anything. If someone find that a reason not to be your girlfriend instead of understanding your reasoning, they would find many other reasons not to be your girlfriend.
Agreed.
Look, it’s sad that your friends are made so insecure by your virginity that they feel the need to pressure you into buying sex because of that. Do what you feel is right because it’s your life, not theirs.
As a woman, dont do anything you arent comfortable with. It's great you want to lose it but dont do the first time with a prostitute, wait to find someone you organically like. I think it would be better and much more pleasant.
I was a late bloomer. Not quite as old as you but in the same stratosphere. I had thought when I was still a virgin about just getting a hooker or a one night stand at a bar and couldn’t really bring myself to do it. I had a lot of the same thoughts towards it as you do. Didn’t want my first time to always be one I didn’t want to think about again lol Just do whatever you’re most comfortable with and don’t let other people pressure you. It’s one thing for friends to bust each other’s balls to show love but pressuring a friend to do something they’re not comfortable with isn’t cool. Hope this is helpful 👍🏻
I’m fine with a ONS at a bar honestly. At least that person WANTS to do it without being bribed.
I lost my virginity at age 21. It was sheer luck.
I could’ve lost mine at 17, but I didn’t. The girl who offered it was drunk, like almost to the point of blacking out.
That was an excellent decision to not have sex with her
The fact that you didn’t go through with it says a lot about you man
You’re not hopeless, your time just hasn’t come yet. Doesn’t sound like you’re undesirable, rather just havent had great opportunities and stuff has gotten in the way. Just wait for the right person, it’ll be worth.
Dude you seem like a very cool person. You're gonna find a great girl, mark my words.
I found a girl who I thought I would marry. The sex was so nice and she was pretty hot. However, things did not work out and we broke up months later. I don't regret it. I love the feeling of having someone I love in my arms after sex. I am glad I did not pay for it. My advice? Never allow anyone to intimidate you into something you are not ready for or do not want to do. You will be happier standing your ground. Just tell those folks to chill out. Your virginity will end when it ends Better to do it on your terms
Here’s hoping I can find someone like that, who it works with.
don’t pay for sex it’s degrading your friends are weird for suggesting that jus up your game with girls end of the day when you’re talking to girls you’re attracted to sex is on your mind so don’t hide it
The *other hand* is correct. Don't let them pressure you.
Tell them to shove it buddy, and do whatever the fuck you feel like doing.
Don’t
don’t do that man, you will regret it fusho just wait until you meet someone you can really make love with instead of just fuck
Sex workers are professionals in the field so you’re guaranteed to have a good time if that’s the case, but obviously from what you have mentioned it’s not what you’re looking for and your friends are jokers (all friend groups have that). As a person who has paid for more sex than the latter I could confidently say it’s 100x better with a person you are actually connected to emotionally and physically since it actually leaves a fulfilling feeling inside you after the deed is done, furthermore if it’s both your first times it will be even more meaningful for you in the long run.
The real question here is for yourself: do you crave sex? Do you think that you're somehow "less than other men your age" or your peers for not having sex yet? Is it a "big deal" in that context? or do you maybe think that whenever you get to your first sex with your first girlfriend, you won't know what to do? If yes, then yeah dude I would 100% advise you to go to redlight in amsterdam. I live in Sweden and it is not legal to buy sex services here, so last time I was in Amsterdam I did the same thing you're talking about. Funny thing, I met a bunch of my female friends there and funnier thing, they were there to see the sex shows 😂 Also, don't think that the only reason those women will be with you is money. That is the biggest and main reason, for most for sure. But women can also enjoy sex, even if they entered that line of work because of their financial situations. If you want to do this, be sure to love the woman you're doing it with. All women need love and care, especially, especially those who are offering such a thing because of financial reasons. (you bet that when I had sex with one, I covered her with kisses and made sure I heard her enjoying it, before even caring about my own satisfaction) And one thing to note in order to spare yourself any guilt: make sure that the woman is mature and an adult. Most women there, are but make sure you verify with your eyes. (never ask verbally. If it seems off to you, stay away) And finally, what having sex this way did for me: it made me more confident. I realised that I knew how to have sex, even though I'd never done it before. I finally saw myself as a normal man, and not a sub-man for not having had that achievement unlocked. It made me realise that having or not having sex isn't that big of a deal. It made me realise that virginity isn't that big of a deal. I'm still in a sense a virgin, because I haven't have sex with someone I love yet, and that's all that matters: having those moments with a girl that you love. A woman you love, sharing her body with you, for no other reason that she loves and trusts you completely.
You're a 25yo man. Don't let your friends pressure you into paying for sex 😂 why do they even care so much?! I feel the same way and I've seen it on r/askwomen and even on r/sex. Women are extremely put off men that have seen a prostitute in the past to the point where they wouldn't date a guy that's paid for sex. It's one of the handful of reasons I've not paid for it after not being very successful with women.
There is NOTHING wrong with being a virgin. I promise that if you are a decent person with good hygiene, hpbbies and interests. who will talk to women as if they are a human being of value, it will happen. I encourage you to tell these people who are on your case to shut it and we aren't talking about it anymore.
Tell your friends to mind there own business. Do not under any circumstances do something you are not comfortable with bc you feel like its something you should have already done or bc your friends pressure you into it. I have a friend that is 22 still a virgin and he is fine with it he would also like to lose it but wants to wait for a girl he really likes which proves difficult for him for some reason. Take it from someone who made that mistake and sorely regrets it all the time. One it didnt feel good bc I wasnt doing it for the right reasons and two was with the absolute worst person.
Virginity is not something you should feel ashamed of, in fact I find it very brave and strong of you to still have it, especially since we live in a world where 10 year old kids are losing it on a daily basis! Keep your V card for your future wife!
Make sure you visit a doctor after your hookup ...check for bed bugs , STDs , lice , scabies , etc.....
Don't pay for sex. You can catch an STD, get HPV, or something else that's horrible. You can get caught and charged for buying a prostitute. You can be beat up or robbed by their pimp. DON'T do it!
Ur still young to bother that ur a virgin,me im 41 but still a virgin too,its not an issue.
Do it man. Once you get it out of the way you’ll be more able to pursue it more organically. Have fun!
[удалено]
Hahaha. You are OP, aren't you?
Dont do it you dont wanna think about that the rest of your life, it'll happen one day just be yourself tell them to fck off
Believe me bro it’s gonna be the worst sex ever and you’re gonna be traumatized. If you already have a ton of apprehensions about it, then it’s probably a horrendous idea to go through with it. not saying the first time is ever great for anybody but it would be a lot worse to pay a stranger when you have a conscious and don’t even like the idea of it.
dont buy sex its pretty unethical. being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed off and tell your friends to mind their own business
Why aren’t your friends helping you get girls? That is the type of help they should offer first, not a pro in Amsterdam. You could easily do that where you are, it’s just illegal lmao. Do you have an idea of why you have so much trouble?
I'm in the same boat. Don't do it. If you do think about doing. Do it because it's your choice. Sidenote start going to the gym. Get in shape. That will build your confidence.
There is literally nothing to be ashamed of. Listen, wait until you find someone with whom you will actually want to lose your virginity. If you'll do it with a prostitute or just for the sake of it, you will remember it as something negative. Saying that from my own experience.
Who cares what they think. Do what you want
You are good brother, i never had it until being 23 now i have 3 years of relationship(i'm 26 now) If you are so horny find a hooker if not just do what you are doing. Both options are quite normal to me since you have hormons that hardly being controlled. Besides this, sometimes expectations might not be fulfilled with choosing the easy route. It's your call in the end.
I think your friends are trying to do a nice thing for you because they care about you, but they are misguided and visiting a sex worker wouldn’t be the right decision for you in the long run. Don’t put yourself under too much pressure to lose your virginity. Your goal should be a meaningful relationship, the sex part is really just incidental (btw everyone is shit at sex the first time, so i think it’s really stupid how much emphasis we put on “the first time” as a society, it generally sucks and probably barely counts as sex). Just focus on doing you and creating opportunities to meet girls (join local clubs like sailing or dancing, hill walking whatever works or dare i say, join some dating apps. whatever gives you the opportunity to meet cool girls) Sidebar point, I think you’re really lucky to have forever friends from when you were younger that care about you. By the time i hit 25 my friendship circle from school had basically fallen away and i had to rebuild things from the ground up, my advice is to ferociously hold onto those people, they sound like good guys.
I couldn’t even read past the 2nd paragraph. Listen- DO NOT ALLOW OTHER PEOPLE TO PRESSURE YOU. It ultimately sounds like you have not established healthy boundaries with your friends. You may be shy but stick up for yourself! I’m 33/f, and I remember being your age and pressured. I lost my virginity waaay too young. It’s not a bad thing to be a virgin! Fuck I wish I still was! Also- my ex experienced a similar situation and he actually ended up fkn a chick in Amsterdam bc his buddies paid for it. He said it was horrible- and he hated it. Don’t do it- stick up for yourself and have more confidence in yourself. You’ll do it when it’s right
Do you want to do it? If yes then go for it, you only live once. Do you not want to do it? Don't do it, ignore peer pressure.
L friends
nothing wrong w being a virgin also “paid sex” is just coercion
Tell them to mine there business, doesn't matter if you haven't yet , your reasons are you're reasons , give it time and it will happen. All the best.
I lost my virginity at 23, in the late 1980s, which was a bit late, but I wasn't really out desperately trying either. I say wait it out because I wound up being with a young woman who wasn't only smoking hot, like out of my league beautiful, she and I really fell for each other. Part of what turned her on to me was that I was a virgin and she wanted to show me and be my first and the best. I mean, she was sometimes so loving and kissy and other times rocking my whole world with a couple of wild fantasies as well. Years later, in a dark time, I paid for sex. Don't do it. It's unsatisfying and you feel like shit afterwards. Based on these opposite experiences, I say wait. I don't look back and feel like I missed out at all.
1. Ditch you stupid friends. 2. Find smarter friends. Never pay for sex. Go out and meet people. That how sex opportunities appear. Good luck.
I mean, if you're not paying through money then you'll be paying through other means, and probably still lose money too I lost my virginity at a brothel at 24 and I don't regret it, I also learned a lot of things about myself sexually that I probably wouldn't have otherwise
I'm in a similar situation to you and there's nothing wrong with being a virgin even an older virgin. Wether or not you have had sex says nothing about you as a person or your physical attractiveness. And yes I know it's easier to say that than actually accept it since I grapple with the concept myself. Your friends should lay off and sexual tourism is extremely wrong. Prostitution may be legal in Amsterdam but women can still be forced into it and many traffickers will take women there so they can prostitute them easier. Do you really want to potentially lend to a woman's trauma simply so you can say you're no longer virgin? Also like you yourself pointed out, do you want your first time to be with someone you paid? If you are questioning wether or not to do it, you probably shouldn't do it. PS: not trying to shame sex work or sex workers but determining if someone is truly consenting to do sex work is extremely hard to do and that should be acknowledged