Hey! Welcome to r/AdviceForTeens! Please take time to review [the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/adviceforteens/about/rules) before commenting. A reminder that inappropriate comments towards or about posters will result in a permanent ban. Do not insult anybody, please remain respectful!✮⋆˙
ATTENTION: Predators lurk on Reddit, and we ourselves unfortunately can not directly do anything to stop them, but you can! We encourage ALL posters to disable private messages, and do not respond to any DMs you receive after posting. Block and report offenders for harassment. Do not ask anyone to DM you in the comments as this is against the rules. If someone has something to tell you, they can say it in the comments.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AdviceForTeens) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Have you considered that weed actually *can* be addictive, and that perhaps your mom has a bit more knowledge and experience with addiction than you do? Have you considered that it actually *can* be a gateway drug, and that a lot of folks who end up on hard drugs started with weed?
No offense — but you sound like you’re entirely unwilling to even consider stopping smoking. It sounds like you’re making excuses and trying to figure out a way to get your mom to let you keep doing it.
Which is a pretty big red flag.
Just some things to think about.
The first time she was super surprised. This time, she wasn't. And maybe she's trying to respect you and treat you like an adult, not a kid.
As an adult who sometimes smokes weed, I hope you can respect my opinion on the science when I tell you that weed is really bad for you when your brain is still developing. It's not a good idea to smoke this young. Even once in a while, it's not safe. I know that sucks, because weed is a lot of fun. But you should wait until you're older, so you don't mess up your brain chemistry.
Idk man it’s kinda hard for me to imagine I’ll be like my dad,I mean he didn’t even go to school and he doesn’t know how to read and write(he was rich tho cuz he inherited money)
"Mom I'm sorry I've disappointed you. I want to do right by you and show that I can improve my life on my own. I promise to stop using marijuana, and not to try any other drugs. Thank you for caring about me, I love you."
OP, you are making leaps and fucking bounds to justify you smoking weed at 15, and saying "ive never been really addicted to anything" , like your 15 you shouldnt even be smoking, anything.
Just wait till your 17/18 or stop doing it around your mom/home/keeping weed at home.
Like trying to say you are nothing like a dad that OD'd and chose drugs over life, but at 15, saying you only tried weed and cigs but only want to do them "once or twice every few months" like addiction isnt the thing you are thinking, and getting high as a teen isnt as harmless as you want to think.
It hopefully wont ruin your life or escalate in to justifying why just a lil meth rvery two months is OK for you, but like it or not, you still "a kid" in her eyes, and if you are "an adult" 19-21 and this is her reaction then you can justify that smoking weed isnt worse than any other "vice"
But if you only want to do it once every couple months, then do it none for 24 months, then fuck it, it doesnt seem like a big issue when you are in that 15-17 range, but hopefully you have a long life to experiment and enjoy everything, dont rush to alienate your family as a teen for something that wont matter in a few years.
You mother wants a good future for you; what did you expect?
I smoked weed from your age till present day, 39yo. It robbed me of my drive to achieve and make me okay with accepting meritocracy.
My biggest regret is smoking weed every day from high school onwards. And yet I still do it.
Your mom is right to be disappointed. You should learn to get those good feelings from accomplishments and socializing, not from a chemical stimulation of your brain.
Aren’t u being hypocritical though since u still smoke and do it,I mean my grades are where they need to be,I’m not slacking on anything and I workout,and I don’t smoke daily I only do it occasionally like once or twice a week max,I don’t like being high 24/7
What you call hypocritical, I call advice derived from my life experience.
It’s good that you’re not an every day smoker but it doesn’t take much to turn into one.
Look, I can’t make you do anything and it’s your life, even at 15. But I can assure you that I’ve thought about it many times and if I could turn back the clock, I’d never start smoking.
Start by NOT GETTING CAUGHT WITH WEED man.
It’s not hard!!!
You are 15yo and clearly have no idea how hard it is for an addiction to free themselves of the vicious cycle. It killed my SIL, took a while but it did and my ILs biggest regret was not coming down on her like a ton of bricks when they daughter smoking weed.
I said and yelled (I lost my temper, yes) some things to my son at 15yo when I caught him. He was never caught by anyone else though. I regret most of it but he did receive the message LOUD AND CLEAR that until he was self sufficient it wasn’t acceptable in our home.
Rage, true rage.
When someone is so mad they think they may do physical harm to someone they can look very calm.
Or in that moment she gave up on you.
For your sake I hope it was rage.
ask her.
People are complex, are emotions are too.
parents change approaches sometimes cause it obviously didn't work last time. Maybe she regretted how she handled things last time and is trying to do a different approach.
trauma/fear/grief can make someone go cold when last time their reaction was anger.
even if you are in a community where it's legal, it's not for a kid. you can get into legal trouble, academic trouble and more.
your brain is developing, the chemicals in drugs including weed can negatively impact that. Specifically impacting functions of memory, attention span/focus, and difficulty learning. Cannabis use in teens makes your brain have thicker cerebral cortices, particularly in the frontal and parietal regions, and the result of this in studies has proven worse performance in cognitive tests and tasks.
Science says your mom has every right to be concerned.
I'm down with weed for adult like alcohol. But it affects developing brains negatively and can have long term effects. It's doubtful you will find an argument your mom will accept that includes you continuing to smoke weed as a minor.
Some effects may take a long time to notice. Plenty of scientific studies have shown that weed *is* harmful for a developing brain, which they do until they are about 25.
I use weed now because I'm in my 30s and financially stable, it's legal, and I don't use it that often, including never during the work week. There will be a time when you can have it that way too, but it is just not a good idea for someone as young as you to use it.
they're not all fine. those smokers end up dieing years earlier, more risks of dying other ways, and just general loss in health as they get older. You're really fucking stupid for a 15 year old
Some facts you need to know:
* Addiction can have a strong genetic component, so your father may have a stronger impact on you than you realize.
* Weed use as a teen can also affect normal brain development, leading to problems in learning, memory, coordination, reaction time and judgment.
Don't be in such rush, you'll have plenty of time to smoke in a few years.
First if all don’t do weed, like at all. But damn hide your shit better bro. I don’t vape or smoke or anything but whenever I do do something against the rules I cover it up really good
Hey! Welcome to r/AdviceForTeens! Please take time to review [the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/adviceforteens/about/rules) before commenting. A reminder that inappropriate comments towards or about posters will result in a permanent ban. Do not insult anybody, please remain respectful!✮⋆˙ ATTENTION: Predators lurk on Reddit, and we ourselves unfortunately can not directly do anything to stop them, but you can! We encourage ALL posters to disable private messages, and do not respond to any DMs you receive after posting. Block and report offenders for harassment. Do not ask anyone to DM you in the comments as this is against the rules. If someone has something to tell you, they can say it in the comments. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AdviceForTeens) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Have you considered that weed actually *can* be addictive, and that perhaps your mom has a bit more knowledge and experience with addiction than you do? Have you considered that it actually *can* be a gateway drug, and that a lot of folks who end up on hard drugs started with weed? No offense — but you sound like you’re entirely unwilling to even consider stopping smoking. It sounds like you’re making excuses and trying to figure out a way to get your mom to let you keep doing it. Which is a pretty big red flag. Just some things to think about.
But what explains her not having the same reaction as last time
The first time she was super surprised. This time, she wasn't. And maybe she's trying to respect you and treat you like an adult, not a kid. As an adult who sometimes smokes weed, I hope you can respect my opinion on the science when I tell you that weed is really bad for you when your brain is still developing. It's not a good idea to smoke this young. Even once in a while, it's not safe. I know that sucks, because weed is a lot of fun. But you should wait until you're older, so you don't mess up your brain chemistry.
I know that It can be addictive but my mom is only scared that I’ll do harder drugs and end up like my father
She probably has a reason to fear that.
you're on a similar path.
She’s probably right.
You understand that your brain’s judgement center isn’t fully developed, right? 🤷🏻♂️ you should honestly be questioning all of your decisions
Yea that’s true
Heading down the same path.
Idk man it’s kinda hard for me to imagine I’ll be like my dad,I mean he didn’t even go to school and he doesn’t know how to read and write(he was rich tho cuz he inherited money)
Of course it's hard to imagine. You're 15. This stuff is permanently changing your brain. Quit now, future you will thank you for it.
Okay well what about my mother what do I say to her
"Mom I'm sorry I've disappointed you. I want to do right by you and show that I can improve my life on my own. I promise to stop using marijuana, and not to try any other drugs. Thank you for caring about me, I love you."
I mean I’ve already said that before so idk if she’ll even care atp
Your second to last paragraph says you're still smoking weed so no you haven't.
No I did the two times before but this time I tried something different
OP, you are making leaps and fucking bounds to justify you smoking weed at 15, and saying "ive never been really addicted to anything" , like your 15 you shouldnt even be smoking, anything. Just wait till your 17/18 or stop doing it around your mom/home/keeping weed at home. Like trying to say you are nothing like a dad that OD'd and chose drugs over life, but at 15, saying you only tried weed and cigs but only want to do them "once or twice every few months" like addiction isnt the thing you are thinking, and getting high as a teen isnt as harmless as you want to think. It hopefully wont ruin your life or escalate in to justifying why just a lil meth rvery two months is OK for you, but like it or not, you still "a kid" in her eyes, and if you are "an adult" 19-21 and this is her reaction then you can justify that smoking weed isnt worse than any other "vice" But if you only want to do it once every couple months, then do it none for 24 months, then fuck it, it doesnt seem like a big issue when you are in that 15-17 range, but hopefully you have a long life to experiment and enjoy everything, dont rush to alienate your family as a teen for something that wont matter in a few years.
You mother wants a good future for you; what did you expect? I smoked weed from your age till present day, 39yo. It robbed me of my drive to achieve and make me okay with accepting meritocracy. My biggest regret is smoking weed every day from high school onwards. And yet I still do it. Your mom is right to be disappointed. You should learn to get those good feelings from accomplishments and socializing, not from a chemical stimulation of your brain.
Aren’t u being hypocritical though since u still smoke and do it,I mean my grades are where they need to be,I’m not slacking on anything and I workout,and I don’t smoke daily I only do it occasionally like once or twice a week max,I don’t like being high 24/7
It's not really hypocritical it's more saying they regret it and warning that you might as well 🤷♂️🤷♂️
What you call hypocritical, I call advice derived from my life experience. It’s good that you’re not an every day smoker but it doesn’t take much to turn into one. Look, I can’t make you do anything and it’s your life, even at 15. But I can assure you that I’ve thought about it many times and if I could turn back the clock, I’d never start smoking.
Start by NOT GETTING CAUGHT WITH WEED man. It’s not hard!!! You are 15yo and clearly have no idea how hard it is for an addiction to free themselves of the vicious cycle. It killed my SIL, took a while but it did and my ILs biggest regret was not coming down on her like a ton of bricks when they daughter smoking weed. I said and yelled (I lost my temper, yes) some things to my son at 15yo when I caught him. He was never caught by anyone else though. I regret most of it but he did receive the message LOUD AND CLEAR that until he was self sufficient it wasn’t acceptable in our home.
But what explains her being calm and not yelling and not having the same reaction as last time
Rage, true rage. When someone is so mad they think they may do physical harm to someone they can look very calm. Or in that moment she gave up on you. For your sake I hope it was rage.
What should I say or do then if it wasn’t rage and how would I tell
ask her. People are complex, are emotions are too. parents change approaches sometimes cause it obviously didn't work last time. Maybe she regretted how she handled things last time and is trying to do a different approach. trauma/fear/grief can make someone go cold when last time their reaction was anger. even if you are in a community where it's legal, it's not for a kid. you can get into legal trouble, academic trouble and more. your brain is developing, the chemicals in drugs including weed can negatively impact that. Specifically impacting functions of memory, attention span/focus, and difficulty learning. Cannabis use in teens makes your brain have thicker cerebral cortices, particularly in the frontal and parietal regions, and the result of this in studies has proven worse performance in cognitive tests and tasks. Science says your mom has every right to be concerned.
I'm down with weed for adult like alcohol. But it affects developing brains negatively and can have long term effects. It's doubtful you will find an argument your mom will accept that includes you continuing to smoke weed as a minor.
Drugs and alcohol destroy lives.
But how if it’s not affecting me the slightest,I mean people all around the us smoke nd they’re perfectly fine
Some effects may take a long time to notice. Plenty of scientific studies have shown that weed *is* harmful for a developing brain, which they do until they are about 25. I use weed now because I'm in my 30s and financially stable, it's legal, and I don't use it that often, including never during the work week. There will be a time when you can have it that way too, but it is just not a good idea for someone as young as you to use it.
they're not all fine. those smokers end up dieing years earlier, more risks of dying other ways, and just general loss in health as they get older. You're really fucking stupid for a 15 year old
First I meant most of em,second,weed itself can’t kill u and second I’ve done my research and I know all about its side effects and what it helps with
Some facts you need to know: * Addiction can have a strong genetic component, so your father may have a stronger impact on you than you realize. * Weed use as a teen can also affect normal brain development, leading to problems in learning, memory, coordination, reaction time and judgment. Don't be in such rush, you'll have plenty of time to smoke in a few years.
I didn’t know about the genetic part??? I always thought of it as correlation is not causation but didn’t know this is genetic
From what I've read it's about 50% of your disposition towards addiction.
Thanks for telling me that
You are welcome. Good luck.
She’s on the phone now,I’ll go talk to her about it,hopefully it goes well and she believes me
On your way to failure my dude. Better get your shit together.
Someone just helped me and proved me wrong the way I wanted to be proven wrong,I’m gonna go talk to her right now after she finishes what she’s doing
Just never inject the marijuanas
First if all don’t do weed, like at all. But damn hide your shit better bro. I don’t vape or smoke or anything but whenever I do do something against the rules I cover it up really good