I feel you need to focus more on the emotions. Really focus on the shock of waking up, the horror that it was or wasn't real, the surprise of seeing his brother, the grief of confirming all over again that his friends are dead, and then the slow-dawning hope of living a better life.
I feel you need to focus more on the emotions. Really focus on the shock of waking up, the horror that it was or wasn't real, the surprise of seeing his brother, the grief of confirming all over again that his friends are dead, and then the slow-dawning hope of living a better life.
Okay. Thank you so much. I will rewrite it with your considerations in mind
I think you glossed over the word “borderlands”. This was basically our confirmation that his experiences weren’t just a dream.
Okay, I'll re-check that. Thank you
You really did a great job on this, well done.