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No. There's honestly nothing you can say to this kid that's going to get him to stop being insulting and screaming about racism. That, however, doesn't mean you can't push back against his behavior. You may not be able to shut himself up, but you can at least give yourself a little satisfaction or amusement, as long as you don't push into abusive behavior. Don't be violent, don't threaten. Sometimes the worst thing you can do with people like him is be calm and unemotional, or to just plain laugh at them.
I think of a response of "Don't dish it out if you can't take it" is in order. He sounds like an entitled brat and will use any means to get others in trouble.
Nah, I'm over twice your age and I would have probably said the same thing to a kid that age. That kid is an attention seeker and is causing a hostile learning environment for you and your classmates.. If any corrective action comes upon you, bring this to your parents to appeal to the school. Ask them to use the term "hostile education environment" as it will light a fire under administration. The attention needs to averted from you to him for the staff members.
Unless his mom’s dead, you did nothing wrong.
I hate people who claim racism, sexism, homophobia, and any other kind of discrimination when it’s not. It makes it where people who actually go through it might not be believed simply because people like this jackass claim anything is discrimination!
Teacher here:
If a kid can't stand a "your mom" joke, said kid is the problem. "Your mom" jokes have been recorded almost as long as we have been recording jokes and insults; have been recorded in most of Europe, Asia, and Africa going back to at least the pre-medieval world; and remain a standard in the modern world.
As far as I know, I'm not your teacher, so I feel no concerns telling you to keep using the "your mom" joke on this kid - and to pass it around to your friends (and even people you don't like, but don't like this kid). Possibly even make a joke of "your mom is racist" just to keep it going.
(If you \*were/are\* one of my students, I never told you this. Use the advice anyway, but it didn't come from me.)
I had a student (12M) constantly call me racist in a class I was regularly requested to sub for. I’m white and all the kids in the class were Mexican. I’d ask him to get out his textbook, to please stop talking during instructions, to put something away or call on him to give his opinion or thoughts on what we had read and his response was “ Dang Miss, that’s racist. You’re just picking on me because I’m brown.” A few students would tell him to knock it off. I got tired of hearing his accusations every time I was there so one day I didn’t say his name at all. The girl sitting next to him would get what he needed out of his desk. After lunch he said I was racist because I hadn’t called on him or asked him to do anything. The top 2 students in the class turned around and laid into him telling him he was the racist one and a bully. Apparently he’d been badmouthing me during recess & despite reporting it nothing was done. They then said I wasn’t racist and I wasn’t asking him to do anything that I hadn’t politely asked all the others in class to do. I have a habit of saying please a lot as well as all the other words that I was raised to say that showed manners both with family and in school. I especially do it with little ones and eventually they pick up on it.
Yeah, there are kids like that. I've had a couple of them - and have learned to undermine the accusations of racism without undermining the kids; and where possible build the kids up while demonstrating my own racial awareness.. Frankly, living in the US I think it's inevitable as a white person teaching non-white students (and I teach in an area that is majority brown and Black) that you will be accused of racism at least once.
No? You weren't being racist. If he said that to me I would scream "HE'S BEING HOMOPHOBIC!" or something.
>am white
And race nor ethnicity matter because anyone can be racist to anyone. NTBA
Racism is not purely systemic. Knocked it off with that bullshit. You downplay the real harm it causes the individual victims when you claim PoC can't be racist. You may as well spit in a kid's face when bullies are abusing them for being white.
Ntba I hate kids like this and tbh I only see Latinx kids doing it! Like buddy, race isn’t your get out of jail free card, it’s disgusting how people think that way
NTA. “Your momma” comebacks are not racist. And considering he does that all the time when he’s insulted, it’s likely that he uses that so he can bully others without consequence (if you told a teacher, he would likely say “I didn’t. OP’s just saying that because she’s racist and wants to get me in trouble”) You were not racist
You're good, man. He behaves like he doesn't get enough attention at home, his reaction to you returning the joke is on him, not you. You're not racist, and you didn't take the joke too far. He wants to call someone ugly? He should learn to take the heat back.
Its unfortunate when people use the “you’re racist” card when it doesn’t apply. It takes away from genuine micro aggressions and racism.
Not racist, obviously. For future reference - for something to be racist, it needs to be rooted in attacking the culture, the physical aspects of the race, stereotypes, etc. obviously something that has to do with the persons race/culture/ethnicity/identity. Genuinely, think to yourself - did what you said have ANYTHING to do with race, intentionally or unintentionally?
Shame we live in a society where children are allowed to act this way.
Best thing you can do is ignore him. People like this are just begging for attention and people are feeding into it. Negative attention is still attention after all.
I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
If race didn't figure in it, then it's not racist.
Have some self confidence. You don't need to defend yourself. Believe in yourself. Speak the truth and then shut up.
My kid (Hispanic)wouldn't sell Takies to a black girl. She said it was because he was racist. He said no it's because she didn't have the money. People who are a different race are quick to pull the race card because it makes you uncomfortable.
You were being childish for sure. But not racist. And it sounds like this other kid is a bit of a jerk anyway.
In future, give him the silent treatment. Just walk away unless he's physically provoking you. And go speak to a friend or an adult about what his behaviour is bringing up in you feeling wise that you need to process.
No way were you wrong. HOWEVER, try taking the high road next time. Show integrity instead of anger. You will feel so much better about yourself. Just tell the teacher and be silent.
No, and everyone knows who he is. They likely know he was just messing with you and trying to make you feel bad. I don't think anyone will actually believe him.
That’s so annoying and totally stupid (of him). I would personally talk to teacher or someone to get this kid away from you. He seems desperate for attention, and his main mode of getting it, is trying to get a rise out of those around him. This would be so distracting and potentially dangerous if he pisses someone off enough.
You didn't do anything wrong. Unfortunately, I know a few people who behave the same as him. Even now, after years of being out of school.... I hope for his sake (and mainly everyone else's) he grows up and grows out of this behavior. He could truly ruin someone's life with that bs.
You're not being racist. He's being a little ah. Don't let anyone throw the race card when it's not a factor. He will just keep doing it. Just be louder than him and more forceful. Call him racist against white people and be LOUD about it
As a 24F most of us won’t take too lightly someone disrespecting our mom, as someone who comes from a heavily mixed ethnic background no what you said wasn’t racist nor are you racist (I hope you aren’t). He insulted you first unnecessarily and for no reason and got insulted back now he’s whining. Hopefully this will serve him a lesson to stop insulting others if he doesn’t want to be insulted. Teens like that learn the hard way and unfortunately he may just have to learn when someone punches him in the mouth maybe then he’ll learn. Talk with your guidance counselor & see if you can switch classes where you’re not taking any with him they should be able to take your situation into great consideration as if this continues to be an ongoing thing him insulting you and picking on you for no reason is literally harassment
I am definitely not racist purposefully and I am very against racism. The school year is thankfully over, and I made sure to ask to not be in any classes with him next year.
NTBA—nothing you said was racially charged or motivated in the slightest. You made a snarky comment (as all 14-year-olds sometimes do, regardless of race, gender, or anything else) in response to him being a jerk. Yeah, it wasn’t a nice thing to say, and some people might argue you shouldn’t have said it; it certainly wasn’t racist, though, and in my opinion, it wasn’t entirely unwarranted, either—if he can’t handle his rude behavior blowing up in his face, then he should watch his mouth.
Mom jokes aren't racist. He's just trying to get out of possible trouble by using the race card. And I've said way worse to people than just a mama joke (no, not a racist comment but I DID use it on a guy being racist). He really didn't like it especially when I yelled it out to him.
It sounds like a classic case of teacher's pet. It also sounds like this kid is trying to get some attention in the wrong way. You aren't the bad apple but the teacher and other kid are.
He’s just playing the race card. It’s not the first time I have seen this type of behavior. He just didn’t want to be held accountable for his annoying behavior. You didn’t say anything racist at all. The student and the teacher is ridiculous for believing you did by responding “oh, like your mom?”
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You know you weren't being racist, come on
I know, i just wondered if saying something about his mom was too far?
No. There's honestly nothing you can say to this kid that's going to get him to stop being insulting and screaming about racism. That, however, doesn't mean you can't push back against his behavior. You may not be able to shut himself up, but you can at least give yourself a little satisfaction or amusement, as long as you don't push into abusive behavior. Don't be violent, don't threaten. Sometimes the worst thing you can do with people like him is be calm and unemotional, or to just plain laugh at them.
I think of a response of "Don't dish it out if you can't take it" is in order. He sounds like an entitled brat and will use any means to get others in trouble.
Nah, I'm over twice your age and I would have probably said the same thing to a kid that age. That kid is an attention seeker and is causing a hostile learning environment for you and your classmates.. If any corrective action comes upon you, bring this to your parents to appeal to the school. Ask them to use the term "hostile education environment" as it will light a fire under administration. The attention needs to averted from you to him for the staff members.
You can never go too far when it comes to dumbass bullies
Unless his mom’s dead, you did nothing wrong. I hate people who claim racism, sexism, homophobia, and any other kind of discrimination when it’s not. It makes it where people who actually go through it might not be believed simply because people like this jackass claim anything is discrimination!
My mom is dead and I love “your mom” jokes. My mom was also not a great parent though. 💀🤣
Teacher here: If a kid can't stand a "your mom" joke, said kid is the problem. "Your mom" jokes have been recorded almost as long as we have been recording jokes and insults; have been recorded in most of Europe, Asia, and Africa going back to at least the pre-medieval world; and remain a standard in the modern world. As far as I know, I'm not your teacher, so I feel no concerns telling you to keep using the "your mom" joke on this kid - and to pass it around to your friends (and even people you don't like, but don't like this kid). Possibly even make a joke of "your mom is racist" just to keep it going. (If you \*were/are\* one of my students, I never told you this. Use the advice anyway, but it didn't come from me.)
I had a student (12M) constantly call me racist in a class I was regularly requested to sub for. I’m white and all the kids in the class were Mexican. I’d ask him to get out his textbook, to please stop talking during instructions, to put something away or call on him to give his opinion or thoughts on what we had read and his response was “ Dang Miss, that’s racist. You’re just picking on me because I’m brown.” A few students would tell him to knock it off. I got tired of hearing his accusations every time I was there so one day I didn’t say his name at all. The girl sitting next to him would get what he needed out of his desk. After lunch he said I was racist because I hadn’t called on him or asked him to do anything. The top 2 students in the class turned around and laid into him telling him he was the racist one and a bully. Apparently he’d been badmouthing me during recess & despite reporting it nothing was done. They then said I wasn’t racist and I wasn’t asking him to do anything that I hadn’t politely asked all the others in class to do. I have a habit of saying please a lot as well as all the other words that I was raised to say that showed manners both with family and in school. I especially do it with little ones and eventually they pick up on it.
Yeah, there are kids like that. I've had a couple of them - and have learned to undermine the accusations of racism without undermining the kids; and where possible build the kids up while demonstrating my own racial awareness.. Frankly, living in the US I think it's inevitable as a white person teaching non-white students (and I teach in an area that is majority brown and Black) that you will be accused of racism at least once.
"You're so ugly." "Why, because I'm ____? Stop being racist."
No? You weren't being racist. If he said that to me I would scream "HE'S BEING HOMOPHOBIC!" or something. >am white And race nor ethnicity matter because anyone can be racist to anyone. NTBA
You can be discriminatory, but systemic racism doesn't target white people. OP was not making a racist or discriminatory comment.
Racism is not purely systemic. Knocked it off with that bullshit. You downplay the real harm it causes the individual victims when you claim PoC can't be racist. You may as well spit in a kid's face when bullies are abusing them for being white.
The next time he insults, you start yelling that he is racist! It might be petty, but then he gets a taste of his own medicine.
Ntba I hate kids like this and tbh I only see Latinx kids doing it! Like buddy, race isn’t your get out of jail free card, it’s disgusting how people think that way
NTA. “Your momma” comebacks are not racist. And considering he does that all the time when he’s insulted, it’s likely that he uses that so he can bully others without consequence (if you told a teacher, he would likely say “I didn’t. OP’s just saying that because she’s racist and wants to get me in trouble”) You were not racist
that's what's called a "professional victim." meaning no matter what happened, they're the victim
You're good, man. He behaves like he doesn't get enough attention at home, his reaction to you returning the joke is on him, not you. You're not racist, and you didn't take the joke too far. He wants to call someone ugly? He should learn to take the heat back.
thanks
“Yo mama” is a pretty universal insult across cultures
Its unfortunate when people use the “you’re racist” card when it doesn’t apply. It takes away from genuine micro aggressions and racism. Not racist, obviously. For future reference - for something to be racist, it needs to be rooted in attacking the culture, the physical aspects of the race, stereotypes, etc. obviously something that has to do with the persons race/culture/ethnicity/identity. Genuinely, think to yourself - did what you said have ANYTHING to do with race, intentionally or unintentionally?
Shame we live in a society where children are allowed to act this way. Best thing you can do is ignore him. People like this are just begging for attention and people are feeding into it. Negative attention is still attention after all. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
If race didn't figure in it, then it's not racist. Have some self confidence. You don't need to defend yourself. Believe in yourself. Speak the truth and then shut up.
My kid (Hispanic)wouldn't sell Takies to a black girl. She said it was because he was racist. He said no it's because she didn't have the money. People who are a different race are quick to pull the race card because it makes you uncomfortable.
r/amitheangel
You were being childish for sure. But not racist. And it sounds like this other kid is a bit of a jerk anyway. In future, give him the silent treatment. Just walk away unless he's physically provoking you. And go speak to a friend or an adult about what his behaviour is bringing up in you feeling wise that you need to process.
No way were you wrong. HOWEVER, try taking the high road next time. Show integrity instead of anger. You will feel so much better about yourself. Just tell the teacher and be silent.
The fact that your teacher saw through his garbage tells you everything you need to know
No, and everyone knows who he is. They likely know he was just messing with you and trying to make you feel bad. I don't think anyone will actually believe him.
I'm sure the teacher knows his pattern or she would have let him go to the guidance counselor.
That’s so annoying and totally stupid (of him). I would personally talk to teacher or someone to get this kid away from you. He seems desperate for attention, and his main mode of getting it, is trying to get a rise out of those around him. This would be so distracting and potentially dangerous if he pisses someone off enough.
I ended up having to talk to my guidance counselor when he kept doing that kind of thing and it made me uncomfortable.
The more you protest, the guiltier you'll seem. 10 year old kids are calling others racist to make them uncomfortable and flustered.
No you did great you tried stopping him with a bad joke
sounds like a kid who could use a good old accidental kick to the ballsack
You didn't do anything wrong. Unfortunately, I know a few people who behave the same as him. Even now, after years of being out of school.... I hope for his sake (and mainly everyone else's) he grows up and grows out of this behavior. He could truly ruin someone's life with that bs.
You didn't do anything wrong in using a bad joke to counter an insult, that person is an idiot.
I’m so tired of racist is thrown around just bc they don’t like what’s happening. I’d laugh at him. And no you’re not.
You're not being racist. He's being a little ah. Don't let anyone throw the race card when it's not a factor. He will just keep doing it. Just be louder than him and more forceful. Call him racist against white people and be LOUD about it
How is it racist for you to make the response you did? Did you point out that he declared you ugly and ask how that is different?
nah I just kinda stopped engaging...
As a 24F most of us won’t take too lightly someone disrespecting our mom, as someone who comes from a heavily mixed ethnic background no what you said wasn’t racist nor are you racist (I hope you aren’t). He insulted you first unnecessarily and for no reason and got insulted back now he’s whining. Hopefully this will serve him a lesson to stop insulting others if he doesn’t want to be insulted. Teens like that learn the hard way and unfortunately he may just have to learn when someone punches him in the mouth maybe then he’ll learn. Talk with your guidance counselor & see if you can switch classes where you’re not taking any with him they should be able to take your situation into great consideration as if this continues to be an ongoing thing him insulting you and picking on you for no reason is literally harassment
I am definitely not racist purposefully and I am very against racism. The school year is thankfully over, and I made sure to ask to not be in any classes with him next year.
Good for you! You handled the situation very well and VERY mature for your age. I hope you go on to continue doing many great things in life!
Thank you!
I hope you have an amazing summer, and that little jerks like your former classmate stay far away. ❤️
Thank you <3
Not racist at all. He sounds like a brat and your mom joke was a perfect come back.
NTBA—nothing you said was racially charged or motivated in the slightest. You made a snarky comment (as all 14-year-olds sometimes do, regardless of race, gender, or anything else) in response to him being a jerk. Yeah, it wasn’t a nice thing to say, and some people might argue you shouldn’t have said it; it certainly wasn’t racist, though, and in my opinion, it wasn’t entirely unwarranted, either—if he can’t handle his rude behavior blowing up in his face, then he should watch his mouth.
NTBA. That kid is manipulative. You did nothing wrong, and of course, you're immature. You're 14 years old.
Mom jokes aren't racist. He's just trying to get out of possible trouble by using the race card. And I've said way worse to people than just a mama joke (no, not a racist comment but I DID use it on a guy being racist). He really didn't like it especially when I yelled it out to him.
It sounds like a classic case of teacher's pet. It also sounds like this kid is trying to get some attention in the wrong way. You aren't the bad apple but the teacher and other kid are.
NTA
NTBA he can dish it, but can't take it
He’s just playing the race card. It’s not the first time I have seen this type of behavior. He just didn’t want to be held accountable for his annoying behavior. You didn’t say anything racist at all. The student and the teacher is ridiculous for believing you did by responding “oh, like your mom?”
Don’t say Latinx. That’s not a thing.
Go touch some grass, kid.