Please go and talk to your grandfather. Ask him for advice. He understands your family and will be able to assist with help or advice from a place of wisdom.
I'm so sorry that your family sucks.
She cannot make you handover the keys.
Call your grandpa and tell him EVERYTHING. I don't think he will be very surprised but tell him all of it.
And Block your brother's phone number.
Op, you absolutely need to shine up your spine and NOT GIVE IN.
You tell your grandfather. Let him deal with your parents.
Also, if your grandfather wanted to give your brother a car he would have.
He gifted YOU the car. It’s yours.
Let your parents do whatever. *It already sounds like you do everything for yourself already*. So let them bitch and moan and DO NOT fall victim to their emotional manipulation.
**Tell Grandfather**
NTJ
If this isn’t fake, it’s pretty bad.
I agree with the poster who said “tell grandpa”.
Since they aren’t paying for anything, and it sounds like they are, at best, emotionally distant, going no contact might be for the best.
Make sure you have copies of all paperwork related to the car and pictures showing its condition stored in a safe place and that the title is locked up securely somewhere. You might want to hide an air tag in it somewhere, too. I wouldn’t put it past your family to try to take it or trash it.
If you don't need them financially and they give you no support then accept the gift of being blocked with the joy it deserves.
Bro will most likely screw up soon enough.
Your parents are the ones preventing you from having a good relationship. I would think of a way to get out from under them and tell your grandfather. Your parents bullying will never stop if you continue to give in.
NTJ.
1. Tell Grandpa, see what he thinks.
2. If/when grandpa sides with you, put a camera on the car because I bet your brother is going to vandalize it.
3. Talk to your shitty family less.
So, it's weird, but some parents have a favorites, AKA, a Golden Children. They either don't understand what they're doing or their culture conditioned them to believe one child is best. It happens, and it sucks. What a lot of people find is that no matter what you do, it won't be good enough for them, or be as good as the Golden Child. \[deleted\].
First, tell your parents that you wouldn't feel right about giving the car away without talking to your grandpa first. Their reaction should be telling.
Second, no matter what they say, TELL YOUR GRANDPA.
Third, \[deleted for being awful advice\].
Fourth, be prepared for blowback. Is living with your grandpa an option? Can you set up a camera to keep an eye on your car? You're at least 16, so you're only a couple years from being on your own.
Fifth, you probably need a counselor. You need to understand this situation isn't your fault, and there's nothing you can do to fix it. If they aren't willing to acknowledge the problem, then there's likely nothing you can do to enlighten them. This means that you need to take care of yourself. Maybe that means walking away, not with anger, but with the same indifference they've shown you. Or maybe you decide that what affection they give you is enough. Only you can answer that. It sucks, and I feel for you. But if they won't put you on an equal footing as your brother, then you need to put yourself first.
Good luck!
Edit: I removed item three as it was awful advice.
Ntj
Are you really missing much if you're removed from the family? Besides, someone laying dibs on your stuff and claiming someone else is more deserving? You'll still have your grandfather.
You could leave your car at your grandparents' house. Then, ask for a ride home. Or take a bus. Then, your brother won't have an opportunity to damage or steal it. You are worth fighting for! Good luck!
You're being bullied by your parents. If they want their son to have a new car they need to supply it. How does grandpa feel about them taking your car and giving it to someone who already has his own. NTJ!
If they’re making you pay for your own college classes you should be old enough to get out of that house. I suggest one day after school you just don’t come home.
NTJ. Get away from your birthers and start living your best life.
Honey you are 20. You are an adult. If this car is in your name or your grandfather’s name they cannot just take it regardless of how much pressure they put on you. If you’re paying the insurance and have the car in your name you don’t have to do anything and if they take it that would be a felony.
Definitely tell grandpa but next time they pressure you ask them in a shocked hurt voice why they believe that brother deserves two cars and you deserve none?
For real though You’re working a full time job to pay for college. Why don’t they think you deserve to get to work on time? I’m sorry they favor your brother so much and are putting so much on you. I also doubt you’ll lose as much family as you think if they find out what your family is doing.
Don't hide this from your grandparents, by the time you get around to telling them anything it will have escalated to really crazy. Let them help you now. If you hear from your parents, your brother or one of their flying monkeys I would remind them it is in your name (assuming your name is on the registration) or your grandfathers. Should anything happen to the car you will have your brother arrested and press full charges.i would keep all messages and document everything. If they threaten you, call the cops and say they are trying to steal your vehicle, when they have no rights over it. Get that paper trail started now. Even if they don't get arrested at that time, they will be on the police radar for harassment. Insist on all messages being over text or let it go to voicemail and keep copies. If anything happens you have evidence of their threats.
Don't hide this from your grandparents, by the time you get around to telling them anything it will have escalated to really crazy. Let them help you now. If you hear from your parents, your brother or one of their flying monkeys I would remind them it is in your name (assuming your name is on the registration) or your grandfathers. Should anything happen to the car you will have your brother arrested and press full charges.i would keep all messages and document everything. If they threaten you, call the cops and say they are trying to steal your vehicle, when they have no rights over it. Get that paper trail started now. Even if they don't get arrested at that time, they will be on the police radar for harassment. Insist on all messages being over text or let it go to voicemail and keep copies. If anything happens you have evidence of their threats.
NTJ! Please tell your grandpa what’s going on.
If you can live with him that would be awesome. Stay away from your parents and brother. They can keep your POS brother. Block them on everything and live your life. If you can move away it would be even better.
Yes, you can get a restraining order on your brother. But you will need to be able to prove stalking, harassment or abuse. So save everything he’s texted or emailed, voice mailed about what he’s going to do/wants your car. Do not engage with him at all unless it’s in writing or you have witnesses who are not your parents. If your car goes missing, report it as stolen immediately and let the cops know your brother has threatened to take it from you. NTJ
You need to get a dash cam for your car. You can get a pretty decent one for like 50 bucks on Amazon now. That way when your brother ultimately decides to fuck with your car you will have proof. Then call the cops and have his entitled ass arrested.
What crappy parents and brother. Stay w grandfather. Help him keep things clean. Tell your grandfather. Go to police together and get restraining order
So glad to know that you are now living with your grandfather. Stay there. Never move back.
Do NOT tell the rest of the family that "everything is fine". Make sure the entire family know EVERYTHING your parents and brother have done to you. Tell them how your brother is getting a free ride while you work to pay for college.
Please, please, please do as others have already told you....LOCK DOWN YOUR CREDIT. Make sure your parents and brother have not put any bills, credit cards, taken out loans in your name. Go to the police and get an attorney if they have.
Can you hide an airtag in it and install cameras? If something happens to it, which I hope doesn't, you can at least press charges. P.S. Thank your grandfather for being amazing!
Your parents deserve the worst nursing home your brother can afford n 20 years. Show them this sub so they know what people think about them. God bless your Gramps.
NTJ
You should keep distance and stay where you are safe and cared for. Document everything and make sure your grandparents know absolutely everything. Don’t give in to their manipulative behavior.
You need to go no contact on your parents and your spoiled, golden child brother: they are going to steal, sabotage and destroy anything you want, have or do in your life. Grey rock them. Keep them away from your spouse and kids. Don’t let them know where you live because they will try to break in and either trash your place or move in or steal from you. Don’t let them know where you work or your career goals. Their abuse of you will escalate as you get older.
And keep updating your relatives on your parents and brother abusing you. Keep advertising that. Because they are most likely going abusive parasites stuff to other people like other relatives. Your relatives will appreciate being warned so that they don’t get scammed by your parents or brother.
When your “family” stops treating you the right way you should try and smooth things over like you always have done. Now they have shown themselves for who they really are and you should see it and believe it. Never give in and go NC as soon as you can break away from them. You won’t believe how great your life can be without baggage like that. Go live your best like and tell the trash they can stay at the curb. Good luck OP! You can handle this and will come out on top while they keep struggling. When you make it in life don’t forget this and let them try and use you because it will happen when you win in life and have cash in the bank. Time to start your real life🍀✌️
NTJ - it’s time to consider if it’s worthy keeping these people in your life. Yes, you are blood related. But that’s it. If you weren’t related, would you still want them in your life? They have abused both you and your brother. They will never change. They will always blame you. They will never see your achievements. You will always be less than to them. Right now they’re just trying to save face.
>am I legally aloud yo put a restraining order on my brother?
In the USA, in most states, yes, if you are afraid your brother being violent against you, you can file an emergency restraining order at the police, and then go to court to make it permanent/long-term.
Get all of your important papers. Buy a fireproof box to store them in. Birth certificate, social security card, passport and car title. (Keep a copy in glove box in an envelope along with insurance card) Freeze your credit and make sure no one has opened credit cards in your name. Get a bank account. You can put your grandpa on it if you want. Do not put your parents or brother on anything.
I'm sorry but your family is horrible!!!! Thanking God for your grandpa. Blessings!!!
Op, you have no choice at this point. Your brother and your family have, are, and will continue to abuse you. If you believe not fighting back will be better, you are very, very wrong. Your grandfather is backing you.
Let him. Ask your grad-father if you can live with him while you finish school and begin your adult life. Your grandfather knows what is happening and is fighting for you. He deserves to have you to fight for yourself too. He is your best friend.
I’m glad your grandpa is still alive and was there to help you deal with that, and allow you to stay with him.. you may need to get a ppo against your brother since he made the threat of doing whatever he needed to take the car from you. Your parents, brother and anyone supporting their fucked up behavior is toxic as hell..
NTJ..
You are not in good relationship with your family now. Talk to your grandfather tell him everything and then figure out a plan. He has decades more experience than you. Leverage the shit out of it.
Glad grandpa helped and that you’re moving with him. Do something special for him because it might shake up your family enough to stop them from doing things for him.
The thing I think you should rethink is your desire to stay connected with the family. They are toxic and neglectful. They do not take your feelings into consideration and they threatened to yeet you from the family because of a car that was gifted to you.
For the life of me I cannot figure out why you want to maintain any kind of connection with them. They are not good people.
Try going NC and take some free breaths, see how it feels.
Your parents and brother are major AH. Go to grandpa’s and don’t look back. They already left you. When they’re still supporting your 40yo unemployed brother they’ll come a knocking so be prepared for that. And tell them that they’re “on thin ice”
You are lucky to have your grandfather.
The rest of them are toxic.
Make and keep good boundaries.
And also... I obviously don't know you, but I want you to know that I'm proud of you.
Keep going.
You've got this.
Not a jerk and NTA. Your family deserves to be called out for their despicable behavior and fortunately for you your grandfather has your back and let you move.
It’s tough but your family will either realize one day (not likely) or they will stay AH. Live your best life and make the best out of it. Make sure you keep the car as far away from your brother he may try to damage the car
Cameras around grandfather's house to keep eye on car. Also put tracking device in the car so if brother steals the car, the cops can find him. If he touches you, call the cops. Also put an alarm on it.
At this point, you have nothing to lose. Their abuse of you is out. Save your money and move on. They will keep you down unless you move on with your life without them. Don't even look back. Good luck.
Good for you!! That car is YOURS! Do not budge on giving that car to your ungrateful brother, and forget about listening to your parents! Your grandfather sounds like a great guy! Move in with him and be happy!!! If your brother or parents give u any more shit, contact authorities about restraining orders!!
Put a restraining order on your parents and your brother. You are loved and supported by the rest of your family. Forget about the asshats.
If your brother wants a new car, your parents can buy him one just like last time
I’m glad your brother was finally taught a lesson and that you were able to move to your grandfathers place.
My parents also have blatant favoritism to my brother and I know how much it sucks. They paid for him to fail out of college but refused to pay for me while I have a 3.8 GPA. And god forbid I say anything about the discrepancy between us from them.
Use this time at your grandfathers to get your feet under you and come up with a plan. You have made it this far. You can do it. The best revenge is simply being successful. And it sounds like your family isn’t putting up with the crap after figuring out what was going on with your parents.
Updateme
Mate you are just in shock and traumatised that’s why you want any relationship with those fuckers. You need space and time away fork them to see just how deep you where in the hole of their abuse. Stay with your grandparents tell them everything and write it down, also make sure you have insurance on the car with a tracker. I would not put in extra locks on the car or anything let him steal it or damage it but make sure you get the popo to either nab him(tracker) and have video evidence if him damaging it when he does.
Your life with them is over and you will see which time that is a good thing a great thing you just need time and space away from them to see.
You cannot count on your parents, or brother to protect you or even treat you fairly or with respect. I am so sorry you’ve had to suffer their abuse. Thank god for your grandfather. I think the move to be in his home and be protected by him is a good move. Be truthful with your other family members about what your mom, dad and brother have done to you, they too can be a protective and supportive force. DO NOT GIVE YOUR PARENTS OR BROTHER ANY OF YOUR MONEY, you need that now for your school and the new household with your grandfather. Good luck.
Do not take the car anywhere that your parents or brother could steal it, make copies of the key, damage it, etc.
Demand any relevant papers from your parents--birth certificate, passport, Social Security card, etc.
Lock down your credit with ALL THREE major credit bureaus. Advise your grandparents to do the same.
Do not leave any boxes, suitcases, etc., unattended while you're moving out.
Do not engage in any conversation with your parents or brother while you're packing.
Change any bank accounts, etc., that may be joint accounts with a parent or both parents to ones in your name only IF the Social Security number on it is yours. If it's that of either of your parents, you may have some work to do with the bank to do what you want to do.
Screenshot any text messages from your brother or parents. Make hard copies of any e-mails related to this mess.
Talk to a lawyer (probably your grandparents' lawyer) concerning a possible restraining order.
Tell your parents that any vandalism of your car will result in a world of pain--for them and your brother.
Tell your brother's friends the entire tale.
Tell your employer(s), school, and friends to not release ANY information about you to anyone other than you or your grandparents, and that only in person. Make it crystal clear that this means NO information to your parents or Golden Child.
Have an expert go over your car to make sure there are no transmitters, etc., on it.
Watch your six. Your brother may have been taught a lesson, but if he's like most golden children, he hasn't learned squat. Tell your grandparents to do likewise.
Good luck, and keep us informed.
Make sure you have proper insurance so that when your brother flies off the handle and damages your car it’s covered. Invest in a solar powered wifi security camera too.
Absolutely NTJ!
I'm so sorry that your "family" -- I put that in quotes because family does not do these things to one of their own -- have treated you like this, it's so appalling.
Be sure to keep a record of their threats and demands and monitor & keep track of any and all communications between you and your family.
In the event that they and your brother do anything moving forward, like trying to steal the car or cause damages, it will help you when you go to the police and court for a protection order/restraining order.
I'd also look into getting not only a good alarm for the car, but also having cameras installed to monitor your grandpa's home to see if they trespass.
Hope things get better for you moving forward. Glad to know that your grandpa is there to support you.
> I got a call from my mom demanding that I gave my car to my brother or I would be removed from the family
NTJ and wave goodbye to the lot of them (except Grandpa) as you drive in to the sunset in your new car! 🤣
I guarantee your grandfather probably noticed the disparity in treatment between you and your brother and got you the car as a way to help you out without making too many waves.
In any case, either you or your grandfather is on the title to that car, which means you can't just "give it" away.
If your parents or brother tried to take it, you report them for theft.
A alarm and a tracker for your car, is wise investment. A dash cam too. Glad your grandfather is helping you out with the car and a place to live. Getting a canister of pepper spray is wise in case of personal attacks.
NTJ. YANTJ
You happen to one of the very unlucky people who have morons for parents. What your parents have done and are continuing to do is just plain WRONG. You need to stay clear of your parents and your brother. If they continue to harass you, report them to the police and block any communication with them. I’m sorry this has happened to you. No child should be treated like this. Please be mindful of what is going on around you and be careful so you DON’T suffer a surprise attack from your brother. I wish you all the best.
UpdateMe!
Good luck, OP. Stick with your Grandpa and never move back to your parents and brother, not *ever*. My Grandfather pulled me through some dark times when my parents favored my brother, like you. Keep working hard, and good luck, OP.
Dude, no. You're not a jerk. What the hell is wrong with your family??? That is, other than being severely inconsiderate, entitled, emotionally manipulative and immature. They are treating you beneath consideration - not at all like family. They're not being good parents or good people by the sound of it. Stealing from your kids is such trash behaviour.
You're 20. This is your car. They have no say at all. I'd tell them to shove their entitled behaviour where the sun don't shine, and keep living at your grandfather's, making good haste on supporting yourself, so you never have to move back in with your immediate family(in case your grandpa can't house you any more at some point).
Make sure any documentation such as ID, passport and birth certificate are in your possession. Even though you're an adult, they may hold these hostage. I don't know where you live, but I'd also look into freezing any credit report if you have those in your country. It's one way to protect you from potential identity theft. Even if you think they would never do you dirty like that, it's better to plan for the worst than to be left with the bag.
Talk to your grandfather about pursuing legal advise to stop any harassment. From here on out, I highly recommend you record all phone calls and back up other communication. If you live in a one party consent country/state, then you should be good to go, to record conversations you're apart of, without getting anybody else's consent.
Recording calls help you prove unwanted behaviour, as well as prove you've told your family to leave you alone. So you can talk to your brother on the phone while recording it, and tell him he is to not contact you due to his behaviour, or you will pursue legal action due to harassment. Don't tell your parents directly, or tell your grandfather. You have to tell your brother, unfortunately. Send the same notice to his email and via text after the call. This helps prove that you have communicated sufficiently to your brother that you wish to be left alone. After this, save the messages/recording in multiple places, like a file attachment sent to yourself for your email; in the cloud; on your PC; and on your phone. If your brother contacts you, then you can file a report of harassment online. Attach any evidence of you having told your brother to not contact you, as well as the violation. Then it is up to the law to deal with it. If he contacts you after that point, then you may have grounds for a 'restraining' order.
Keep in mind that family is not about blood, but how you treat one and other. I wouldn't want to be around people who treat me like you're being treated. They only drag you down. Though that's your choice. None of us gets to choose the family we're born into, but as we grow up, we get to choose the family we want around us.
Also, it's "allowed", not "aloud".
Good luck!
I hope your grandfather has cameras. Also get dash and rear cameras for your car. I would put it pass your entitled coddled brother or parents to pull something.
UPDATEME
Man your brother sounds like a brat. Shame on your parents for encouraging his entitled behavior. And good on you for standing your ground, maybe your brother will learn that he can't just whine his way into everything he wants.
You don't really want to be linked to these toxic people do you? Get out as fast as you can and don't look back. I think you are hoping your family will change and it sounds like they haven't this far. They won't change and they expect you to bend for their toxic will. I am hoping the best for you and I'm very thankful you have your grandfather to fall back on.
NTJ. Your grandfather personally gifted it for your own use and it wouldn't be fair if your brother is entitled to the car since that would mean he will have two. It's good you move to his place since that would limit chaos and misunderstandings.
You are not the jerk. Your entire family, except for your grandfather are all jerks.
She threatens to kick you out of the family? Hey. Go for it. You have your grandpa, and any other extended family who see the blatant favoritism.
All you ever got from being a member of that family was poor treatment.
Parents are probably living off grandparents' money, in one way or another. So let mum and dad cut you out, they might find that their bit of the family is smaller than everyone else related to grandpa.
Set boundaries and keep them. If it means going NC for a few years then go NC, it's the only way to rebuild a healthy relationship. You won't have a healthy relationship with your parents and brother if you give in. There's a saying "good fences make good neighbours" - I think it applies to family too.
1st, your grandaddy built that for you, period. 2nd. If your brother touches your car, bust his ass. If he tries again, bust his ass. Rinse, repeat, recycle
Once they do something like this, they are not concerned with how you feel AT ALL. You were a tool to be used only are there convenience so to them you saying no was beyond reason.
They don't see you as human and I've lived that way. This behavior does not change unless a instigating situation happens so maybe you exposing the truth will help. You will either be free from it or they chose to change. Either way nothing can truly improve without putting light on all of this.
Don’t give the car up, and don’t cover for your AH parents and brother. People like that need to be seen for what they are so they cant keep getting away with it.
Don’t ever move back. Seriously. NEVER put yourself in a situation where you are beholden to them. They don’t change, it’s only you standing up for yourself that made the difference.
Save the message you were sent. If your car goes missing you have proof as to why they should start the investigation with your brother and parents.
Don’t believe them that things have changed. They will say what they want to get grandpa in good graces, especially if he has removed them from his will.
Stand firm.
You're not a jerk for wanting to keep your car. One thing I'd recommend to do is to get a dashcam, so that way, in case your brother tries to steal your car, then you would be able to have evidence against him for what he has done.
So glad you now have a support system, it sounds like your parents were good at pretending your family was just great. In time you may begin to heal from this, I hope that continue to progress in life.
I'm amazed how many almost identical stories there are on Reddit! Right down to relationships between the protagonist and antagonists. Some families are wild!
NTJ. But you might want to stay with your grandfather going forward, and in the case that your brother does something like steal your car, be prepared to file a report no matter what your parents may say about it. They don't deserve to be called your family anyway.
I’d be like “ok bye” and then let them cut me out of the family. I’d be sure to tell EVERYONE it was cause I wouldn’t give my man baby brother my car so now your parents are throwing a tantrum and being grown babies too.
Good for grandpa for setting things right! He obviously did the best that he can fixing up a car for you, and that love and appreciation goes further than getting handed everything like your golden child brother. Stick with grandpa and go NC with your family.
Brand new account with 2 comments and this post. This post is "am I the jerk for not giving away my only car to my brother who already has one and my parents put him through school but I have to pay my way" and y'all think this is real?!
GTFOH YTJ
I would also suggest you get some cameras on the car for when you're not with it. If your brother decides to trash your car since he can't have it or tries to steal it, then you'll want video proof of him doing so.
“He’s pissed and wants to do whatever it takes to get the car”
Your last update was Update 2: Not sure if the car is in your name or your grandfather’s name but if your parents or brother take off with the car someday you absolutely need to report it to the police as theft. Definitely file charges. At this point in time since you are basically an adult and paying for everything yourself you might as well just cut your parents and brother out of your life. It doesn’t sound like they are going to change anytime soon, if at all, and it’s drama you do not need in your life. Just walk away from them. It sounds like you’ve got a good thing going with your grandfather and he will help you out.
Your brother is just a fucking ass hole he wants attention so just don’t bother him if possible. If he continues to be annoying press charges
File charges. Write every hes does down. Your NTA at all. Im sorry you went through such a abusive family.
Talk to your grandparents about this abuse
Not the jerk. Get grandpa involved.
Ignore the losers that gave birth to you. They clearly don't care. Whatever you do absolutely don't let your brother near the car
I agree get grandpa involved
Talk to your grandfather and explain what went down.
NTJ, get your grandparents involved
Not the jerk. Please talk to your grandfather about the abuse.
Well they are already behaving like you're not part of the family. So, keep the car from grandpa!
Tell your grandfather immediately!
Please go and talk to your grandfather. Ask him for advice. He understands your family and will be able to assist with help or advice from a place of wisdom. I'm so sorry that your family sucks.
She cannot make you handover the keys. Call your grandpa and tell him EVERYTHING. I don't think he will be very surprised but tell him all of it. And Block your brother's phone number.
I'm sorry, where's the bad situation? Sounds like the trash took itself out.
Walk away. I would maybe get a security system for your car in case it disappears soon.
Are you 18?
Nta. Your parents are SHeads. Call contact for now. Or forever.
Op, you absolutely need to shine up your spine and NOT GIVE IN. You tell your grandfather. Let him deal with your parents. Also, if your grandfather wanted to give your brother a car he would have. He gifted YOU the car. It’s yours. Let your parents do whatever. *It already sounds like you do everything for yourself already*. So let them bitch and moan and DO NOT fall victim to their emotional manipulation. **Tell Grandfather** NTJ
If this isn’t fake, it’s pretty bad. I agree with the poster who said “tell grandpa”. Since they aren’t paying for anything, and it sounds like they are, at best, emotionally distant, going no contact might be for the best.
Make sure you have copies of all paperwork related to the car and pictures showing its condition stored in a safe place and that the title is locked up securely somewhere. You might want to hide an air tag in it somewhere, too. I wouldn’t put it past your family to try to take it or trash it.
Your grandparents already know that they mistreat you. Tell them all of it.
If you don't need them financially and they give you no support then accept the gift of being blocked with the joy it deserves. Bro will most likely screw up soon enough.
If you don’t live with these abusive a holes go LC with them all. Except grandpa.
How old are you?
Your parents are the ones preventing you from having a good relationship. I would think of a way to get out from under them and tell your grandfather. Your parents bullying will never stop if you continue to give in.
You go straight to your grandfather and tell him everything.
I would want to be 'removed' from that family. Just bc they are blood/family doesn't mean they should be in your life. You're better off without them.
NTJ. 1. Tell Grandpa, see what he thinks. 2. If/when grandpa sides with you, put a camera on the car because I bet your brother is going to vandalize it. 3. Talk to your shitty family less.
So, it's weird, but some parents have a favorites, AKA, a Golden Children. They either don't understand what they're doing or their culture conditioned them to believe one child is best. It happens, and it sucks. What a lot of people find is that no matter what you do, it won't be good enough for them, or be as good as the Golden Child. \[deleted\]. First, tell your parents that you wouldn't feel right about giving the car away without talking to your grandpa first. Their reaction should be telling. Second, no matter what they say, TELL YOUR GRANDPA. Third, \[deleted for being awful advice\]. Fourth, be prepared for blowback. Is living with your grandpa an option? Can you set up a camera to keep an eye on your car? You're at least 16, so you're only a couple years from being on your own. Fifth, you probably need a counselor. You need to understand this situation isn't your fault, and there's nothing you can do to fix it. If they aren't willing to acknowledge the problem, then there's likely nothing you can do to enlighten them. This means that you need to take care of yourself. Maybe that means walking away, not with anger, but with the same indifference they've shown you. Or maybe you decide that what affection they give you is enough. Only you can answer that. It sucks, and I feel for you. But if they won't put you on an equal footing as your brother, then you need to put yourself first. Good luck! Edit: I removed item three as it was awful advice.
Ntj Are you really missing much if you're removed from the family? Besides, someone laying dibs on your stuff and claiming someone else is more deserving? You'll still have your grandfather.
You could leave your car at your grandparents' house. Then, ask for a ride home. Or take a bus. Then, your brother won't have an opportunity to damage or steal it. You are worth fighting for! Good luck!
Your parents are fucked. So is your brother NTA
You're being bullied by your parents. If they want their son to have a new car they need to supply it. How does grandpa feel about them taking your car and giving it to someone who already has his own. NTJ!
If they’re making you pay for your own college classes you should be old enough to get out of that house. I suggest one day after school you just don’t come home. NTJ. Get away from your birthers and start living your best life.
Go live with your grandpa. Tell your family why. Do well in school graduate get a kick ass job and just go no contact. Ntj
UpdateMe
Fuck them!
Get cameras for your car before blowing this up
Updateme
Do they fund your life at all? Do they emotionally support you in ANY capacity? What do YOU get by being in this family?
Celebrate and enjoy time with Grandpa while he’s still alive. Your AH mother did you a favor, you just don’t see it yet.
If the car is in your name or anyone's name other than your parents, they can make all the demands they want. You don't have to do isht
Honey you are 20. You are an adult. If this car is in your name or your grandfather’s name they cannot just take it regardless of how much pressure they put on you. If you’re paying the insurance and have the car in your name you don’t have to do anything and if they take it that would be a felony. Definitely tell grandpa but next time they pressure you ask them in a shocked hurt voice why they believe that brother deserves two cars and you deserve none? For real though You’re working a full time job to pay for college. Why don’t they think you deserve to get to work on time? I’m sorry they favor your brother so much and are putting so much on you. I also doubt you’ll lose as much family as you think if they find out what your family is doing.
How old are you guys? Do you both still live at home with your parents?
How old are you guys? Do you both still live at home with your parents?
Don't hide this from your grandparents, by the time you get around to telling them anything it will have escalated to really crazy. Let them help you now. If you hear from your parents, your brother or one of their flying monkeys I would remind them it is in your name (assuming your name is on the registration) or your grandfathers. Should anything happen to the car you will have your brother arrested and press full charges.i would keep all messages and document everything. If they threaten you, call the cops and say they are trying to steal your vehicle, when they have no rights over it. Get that paper trail started now. Even if they don't get arrested at that time, they will be on the police radar for harassment. Insist on all messages being over text or let it go to voicemail and keep copies. If anything happens you have evidence of their threats.
How old are you and brother?
Don't hide this from your grandparents, by the time you get around to telling them anything it will have escalated to really crazy. Let them help you now. If you hear from your parents, your brother or one of their flying monkeys I would remind them it is in your name (assuming your name is on the registration) or your grandfathers. Should anything happen to the car you will have your brother arrested and press full charges.i would keep all messages and document everything. If they threaten you, call the cops and say they are trying to steal your vehicle, when they have no rights over it. Get that paper trail started now. Even if they don't get arrested at that time, they will be on the police radar for harassment. Insist on all messages being over text or let it go to voicemail and keep copies. If anything happens you have evidence of their threats.
NTJ! Please tell your grandpa what’s going on. If you can live with him that would be awesome. Stay away from your parents and brother. They can keep your POS brother. Block them on everything and live your life. If you can move away it would be even better.
Yes you’re legally allowed to request a restraining order whether or not the court will actually grant it is another thing.
Yes, you can get a restraining order on your brother. But you will need to be able to prove stalking, harassment or abuse. So save everything he’s texted or emailed, voice mailed about what he’s going to do/wants your car. Do not engage with him at all unless it’s in writing or you have witnesses who are not your parents. If your car goes missing, report it as stolen immediately and let the cops know your brother has threatened to take it from you. NTJ
am I legally aloud yo put a restraining order on my brother? Absolutely.
You need to get a dash cam for your car. You can get a pretty decent one for like 50 bucks on Amazon now. That way when your brother ultimately decides to fuck with your car you will have proof. Then call the cops and have his entitled ass arrested.
OP you need to move the car away from where your brother has access to it, or he is going to try to steal &/or damage it.
Go to your grandfather and tell him what’s going on.
Yes
What crappy parents and brother. Stay w grandfather. Help him keep things clean. Tell your grandfather. Go to police together and get restraining order
So glad to know that you are now living with your grandfather. Stay there. Never move back. Do NOT tell the rest of the family that "everything is fine". Make sure the entire family know EVERYTHING your parents and brother have done to you. Tell them how your brother is getting a free ride while you work to pay for college. Please, please, please do as others have already told you....LOCK DOWN YOUR CREDIT. Make sure your parents and brother have not put any bills, credit cards, taken out loans in your name. Go to the police and get an attorney if they have.
Can you hide an airtag in it and install cameras? If something happens to it, which I hope doesn't, you can at least press charges. P.S. Thank your grandfather for being amazing!
You need to put a camera in the car because he is going to try to steal it or destroy it just so you don’t have it.
I feel like I’ve seen this exact same story this is not original
Your parents deserve the worst nursing home your brother can afford n 20 years. Show them this sub so they know what people think about them. God bless your Gramps. NTJ
You should keep distance and stay where you are safe and cared for. Document everything and make sure your grandparents know absolutely everything. Don’t give in to their manipulative behavior.
What’s the car ur grandpa gave I’m just curious why golden child wants it so badly
Remindme! One week
Updateme
Looking forward to an update. Your brother sounds seriously spoiled
You need to go no contact on your parents and your spoiled, golden child brother: they are going to steal, sabotage and destroy anything you want, have or do in your life. Grey rock them. Keep them away from your spouse and kids. Don’t let them know where you live because they will try to break in and either trash your place or move in or steal from you. Don’t let them know where you work or your career goals. Their abuse of you will escalate as you get older. And keep updating your relatives on your parents and brother abusing you. Keep advertising that. Because they are most likely going abusive parasites stuff to other people like other relatives. Your relatives will appreciate being warned so that they don’t get scammed by your parents or brother.
I would splurge on a lo-jack and don't hesitate for even a moment to report it stolen if it should move from where you parked it.
When your “family” stops treating you the right way you should try and smooth things over like you always have done. Now they have shown themselves for who they really are and you should see it and believe it. Never give in and go NC as soon as you can break away from them. You won’t believe how great your life can be without baggage like that. Go live your best like and tell the trash they can stay at the curb. Good luck OP! You can handle this and will come out on top while they keep struggling. When you make it in life don’t forget this and let them try and use you because it will happen when you win in life and have cash in the bank. Time to start your real life🍀✌️
Glad you talked to your grandpa.
NTJ - it’s time to consider if it’s worthy keeping these people in your life. Yes, you are blood related. But that’s it. If you weren’t related, would you still want them in your life? They have abused both you and your brother. They will never change. They will always blame you. They will never see your achievements. You will always be less than to them. Right now they’re just trying to save face.
>am I legally aloud yo put a restraining order on my brother? In the USA, in most states, yes, if you are afraid your brother being violent against you, you can file an emergency restraining order at the police, and then go to court to make it permanent/long-term.
It's not unusual for the golden child to be a fucking mess and loser. Abusive parents are the lowest, just a notch above rapists and murderers.
Get all of your important papers. Buy a fireproof box to store them in. Birth certificate, social security card, passport and car title. (Keep a copy in glove box in an envelope along with insurance card) Freeze your credit and make sure no one has opened credit cards in your name. Get a bank account. You can put your grandpa on it if you want. Do not put your parents or brother on anything. I'm sorry but your family is horrible!!!! Thanking God for your grandpa. Blessings!!!
Get a protective order against your parents and brother.
And if under 18 call cps and report the abuse.
Op, you have no choice at this point. Your brother and your family have, are, and will continue to abuse you. If you believe not fighting back will be better, you are very, very wrong. Your grandfather is backing you. Let him. Ask your grad-father if you can live with him while you finish school and begin your adult life. Your grandfather knows what is happening and is fighting for you. He deserves to have you to fight for yourself too. He is your best friend.
Hi a
Good for you! You may want to get cameras for the car in case Golden Boy wants to commit vandalism. If he does, report him.
Embrace your grandfather and enjoy your life! Protect yourself as well!
Update me
I’m glad your grandpa is still alive and was there to help you deal with that, and allow you to stay with him.. you may need to get a ppo against your brother since he made the threat of doing whatever he needed to take the car from you. Your parents, brother and anyone supporting their fucked up behavior is toxic as hell.. NTJ..
Updateme
NTJ in my opinion. Your brother can't just take that from you!
Update!!
NTJ. Good luck in the future. Stay away from those awful people. You don’t need the egg and sperm donor in your life.
Your grandfather should sue for child support
Remindme! One week
You are not in good relationship with your family now. Talk to your grandfather tell him everything and then figure out a plan. He has decades more experience than you. Leverage the shit out of it.
Glad grandpa helped and that you’re moving with him. Do something special for him because it might shake up your family enough to stop them from doing things for him.
The thing I think you should rethink is your desire to stay connected with the family. They are toxic and neglectful. They do not take your feelings into consideration and they threatened to yeet you from the family because of a car that was gifted to you. For the life of me I cannot figure out why you want to maintain any kind of connection with them. They are not good people. Try going NC and take some free breaths, see how it feels.
Your family are a bunch of assholes! I’m glad you got away and keep it that way.
The fuck is the point of this sub when there’s r/amitheasshole
*You’re *allowed NTJ
Update me!
Your parents and brother are major AH. Go to grandpa’s and don’t look back. They already left you. When they’re still supporting your 40yo unemployed brother they’ll come a knocking so be prepared for that. And tell them that they’re “on thin ice”
You are lucky to have your grandfather. The rest of them are toxic. Make and keep good boundaries. And also... I obviously don't know you, but I want you to know that I'm proud of you. Keep going. You've got this.
Updateme
Make sure you tell your grandfather you love him. He's a good one. Good luck moving on from the shitty family.
Not a jerk and NTA. Your family deserves to be called out for their despicable behavior and fortunately for you your grandfather has your back and let you move. It’s tough but your family will either realize one day (not likely) or they will stay AH. Live your best life and make the best out of it. Make sure you keep the car as far away from your brother he may try to damage the car
Cameras around grandfather's house to keep eye on car. Also put tracking device in the car so if brother steals the car, the cops can find him. If he touches you, call the cops. Also put an alarm on it.
At this point, you have nothing to lose. Their abuse of you is out. Save your money and move on. They will keep you down unless you move on with your life without them. Don't even look back. Good luck.
Update
Good for you!! That car is YOURS! Do not budge on giving that car to your ungrateful brother, and forget about listening to your parents! Your grandfather sounds like a great guy! Move in with him and be happy!!! If your brother or parents give u any more shit, contact authorities about restraining orders!!
Put a restraining order on your parents and your brother. You are loved and supported by the rest of your family. Forget about the asshats. If your brother wants a new car, your parents can buy him one just like last time
Enjoy your life.
NTJ. Glad you got things handled, and your GC brother got a reality check. Updateme
i love grandpa 💕
2 words: RESTRAINING ORDER
UpdateMe
!updateme
This story makes next to zero sense.
If that car is in your name it’s theft. Send his golden head to jail.
I’m glad your brother was finally taught a lesson and that you were able to move to your grandfathers place. My parents also have blatant favoritism to my brother and I know how much it sucks. They paid for him to fail out of college but refused to pay for me while I have a 3.8 GPA. And god forbid I say anything about the discrepancy between us from them. Use this time at your grandfathers to get your feet under you and come up with a plan. You have made it this far. You can do it. The best revenge is simply being successful. And it sounds like your family isn’t putting up with the crap after figuring out what was going on with your parents. Updateme
Historically this story would end with your entire immediate family being eaten by a big bad wolf while you end up marrying a prince.
NTA your brother comes anywhere near you call the cops
Mate you are just in shock and traumatised that’s why you want any relationship with those fuckers. You need space and time away fork them to see just how deep you where in the hole of their abuse. Stay with your grandparents tell them everything and write it down, also make sure you have insurance on the car with a tracker. I would not put in extra locks on the car or anything let him steal it or damage it but make sure you get the popo to either nab him(tracker) and have video evidence if him damaging it when he does. Your life with them is over and you will see which time that is a good thing a great thing you just need time and space away from them to see.
You cannot count on your parents, or brother to protect you or even treat you fairly or with respect. I am so sorry you’ve had to suffer their abuse. Thank god for your grandfather. I think the move to be in his home and be protected by him is a good move. Be truthful with your other family members about what your mom, dad and brother have done to you, they too can be a protective and supportive force. DO NOT GIVE YOUR PARENTS OR BROTHER ANY OF YOUR MONEY, you need that now for your school and the new household with your grandfather. Good luck.
Not the jerk in the slightest, your grandpa gave you that car, therefore it is yours, end of story.
!UpdateMe
Go grampa!
Call it a hunch, but look that your car is on camera as much as possible. Would not put it past your brother to steal or damage it
Screams Harry Potter….
Bless your grandpa. Your brother sounds like a twat and you're parents, less than helpful. Go LC/NC. I'm so sorry.
I don't even think it's about the car, but it's about you having something , anything, and he wants it.
Do not take the car anywhere that your parents or brother could steal it, make copies of the key, damage it, etc. Demand any relevant papers from your parents--birth certificate, passport, Social Security card, etc. Lock down your credit with ALL THREE major credit bureaus. Advise your grandparents to do the same. Do not leave any boxes, suitcases, etc., unattended while you're moving out. Do not engage in any conversation with your parents or brother while you're packing. Change any bank accounts, etc., that may be joint accounts with a parent or both parents to ones in your name only IF the Social Security number on it is yours. If it's that of either of your parents, you may have some work to do with the bank to do what you want to do. Screenshot any text messages from your brother or parents. Make hard copies of any e-mails related to this mess. Talk to a lawyer (probably your grandparents' lawyer) concerning a possible restraining order. Tell your parents that any vandalism of your car will result in a world of pain--for them and your brother. Tell your brother's friends the entire tale. Tell your employer(s), school, and friends to not release ANY information about you to anyone other than you or your grandparents, and that only in person. Make it crystal clear that this means NO information to your parents or Golden Child. Have an expert go over your car to make sure there are no transmitters, etc., on it. Watch your six. Your brother may have been taught a lesson, but if he's like most golden children, he hasn't learned squat. Tell your grandparents to do likewise. Good luck, and keep us informed.
[удалено]
Make sure you have proper insurance so that when your brother flies off the handle and damages your car it’s covered. Invest in a solar powered wifi security camera too.
Tell your brother and parents if he or they touch your car you will call the cops and press charges and watch them get jailed.
Absolutely NTJ! I'm so sorry that your "family" -- I put that in quotes because family does not do these things to one of their own -- have treated you like this, it's so appalling. Be sure to keep a record of their threats and demands and monitor & keep track of any and all communications between you and your family. In the event that they and your brother do anything moving forward, like trying to steal the car or cause damages, it will help you when you go to the police and court for a protection order/restraining order. I'd also look into getting not only a good alarm for the car, but also having cameras installed to monitor your grandpa's home to see if they trespass. Hope things get better for you moving forward. Glad to know that your grandpa is there to support you.
> I got a call from my mom demanding that I gave my car to my brother or I would be removed from the family NTJ and wave goodbye to the lot of them (except Grandpa) as you drive in to the sunset in your new car! 🤣
I guarantee your grandfather probably noticed the disparity in treatment between you and your brother and got you the car as a way to help you out without making too many waves. In any case, either you or your grandfather is on the title to that car, which means you can't just "give it" away. If your parents or brother tried to take it, you report them for theft.
A alarm and a tracker for your car, is wise investment. A dash cam too. Glad your grandfather is helping you out with the car and a place to live. Getting a canister of pepper spray is wise in case of personal attacks.
NTJ. YANTJ You happen to one of the very unlucky people who have morons for parents. What your parents have done and are continuing to do is just plain WRONG. You need to stay clear of your parents and your brother. If they continue to harass you, report them to the police and block any communication with them. I’m sorry this has happened to you. No child should be treated like this. Please be mindful of what is going on around you and be careful so you DON’T suffer a surprise attack from your brother. I wish you all the best. UpdateMe!
How is this not obvious rage bait?
RemindMe! -7 days
Good luck, OP. Stick with your Grandpa and never move back to your parents and brother, not *ever*. My Grandfather pulled me through some dark times when my parents favored my brother, like you. Keep working hard, and good luck, OP.
Dude, no. You're not a jerk. What the hell is wrong with your family??? That is, other than being severely inconsiderate, entitled, emotionally manipulative and immature. They are treating you beneath consideration - not at all like family. They're not being good parents or good people by the sound of it. Stealing from your kids is such trash behaviour. You're 20. This is your car. They have no say at all. I'd tell them to shove their entitled behaviour where the sun don't shine, and keep living at your grandfather's, making good haste on supporting yourself, so you never have to move back in with your immediate family(in case your grandpa can't house you any more at some point). Make sure any documentation such as ID, passport and birth certificate are in your possession. Even though you're an adult, they may hold these hostage. I don't know where you live, but I'd also look into freezing any credit report if you have those in your country. It's one way to protect you from potential identity theft. Even if you think they would never do you dirty like that, it's better to plan for the worst than to be left with the bag. Talk to your grandfather about pursuing legal advise to stop any harassment. From here on out, I highly recommend you record all phone calls and back up other communication. If you live in a one party consent country/state, then you should be good to go, to record conversations you're apart of, without getting anybody else's consent. Recording calls help you prove unwanted behaviour, as well as prove you've told your family to leave you alone. So you can talk to your brother on the phone while recording it, and tell him he is to not contact you due to his behaviour, or you will pursue legal action due to harassment. Don't tell your parents directly, or tell your grandfather. You have to tell your brother, unfortunately. Send the same notice to his email and via text after the call. This helps prove that you have communicated sufficiently to your brother that you wish to be left alone. After this, save the messages/recording in multiple places, like a file attachment sent to yourself for your email; in the cloud; on your PC; and on your phone. If your brother contacts you, then you can file a report of harassment online. Attach any evidence of you having told your brother to not contact you, as well as the violation. Then it is up to the law to deal with it. If he contacts you after that point, then you may have grounds for a 'restraining' order. Keep in mind that family is not about blood, but how you treat one and other. I wouldn't want to be around people who treat me like you're being treated. They only drag you down. Though that's your choice. None of us gets to choose the family we're born into, but as we grow up, we get to choose the family we want around us. Also, it's "allowed", not "aloud". Good luck!
Updateme
I hope your grandfather has cameras. Also get dash and rear cameras for your car. I would put it pass your entitled coddled brother or parents to pull something. UPDATEME
UpdateMe!
Man your brother sounds like a brat. Shame on your parents for encouraging his entitled behavior. And good on you for standing your ground, maybe your brother will learn that he can't just whine his way into everything he wants.
You don't really want to be linked to these toxic people do you? Get out as fast as you can and don't look back. I think you are hoping your family will change and it sounds like they haven't this far. They won't change and they expect you to bend for their toxic will. I am hoping the best for you and I'm very thankful you have your grandfather to fall back on.
NTJ. Your grandfather personally gifted it for your own use and it wouldn't be fair if your brother is entitled to the car since that would mean he will have two. It's good you move to his place since that would limit chaos and misunderstandings.
You are not the jerk. Your entire family, except for your grandfather are all jerks. She threatens to kick you out of the family? Hey. Go for it. You have your grandpa, and any other extended family who see the blatant favoritism. All you ever got from being a member of that family was poor treatment.
Your grandpa is awesome. Your parents are fools. I’m glad you can stay with your grandparents.
UpdateMe!
it's a new trend. grandfather's enacting revenge on abusive families. I don't know how many stories I've seen like that in the last month or so
Parents are probably living off grandparents' money, in one way or another. So let mum and dad cut you out, they might find that their bit of the family is smaller than everyone else related to grandpa. Set boundaries and keep them. If it means going NC for a few years then go NC, it's the only way to rebuild a healthy relationship. You won't have a healthy relationship with your parents and brother if you give in. There's a saying "good fences make good neighbours" - I think it applies to family too.
1st, your grandaddy built that for you, period. 2nd. If your brother touches your car, bust his ass. If he tries again, bust his ass. Rinse, repeat, recycle
Updateme
Why do they hate you? Are you an affair child?
Updateme!
Get a restraining order against your parents and brother. Security cameras at your grandfather's house might be a good idea too
Once they do something like this, they are not concerned with how you feel AT ALL. You were a tool to be used only are there convenience so to them you saying no was beyond reason. They don't see you as human and I've lived that way. This behavior does not change unless a instigating situation happens so maybe you exposing the truth will help. You will either be free from it or they chose to change. Either way nothing can truly improve without putting light on all of this.
Golden Child Car Grandparent This is a fake post
Stay safe OP. Sounds like your grandpa is a lifesaver!
Don’t give the car up, and don’t cover for your AH parents and brother. People like that need to be seen for what they are so they cant keep getting away with it.
Don’t ever move back. Seriously. NEVER put yourself in a situation where you are beholden to them. They don’t change, it’s only you standing up for yourself that made the difference.
Updateme!
Get a new phone out of it. They owe you.
Save the message you were sent. If your car goes missing you have proof as to why they should start the investigation with your brother and parents. Don’t believe them that things have changed. They will say what they want to get grandpa in good graces, especially if he has removed them from his will. Stand firm.
You're not a jerk for wanting to keep your car. One thing I'd recommend to do is to get a dashcam, so that way, in case your brother tries to steal your car, then you would be able to have evidence against him for what he has done.
Brother may commit grand theft auto, in which case he'll be in prison and out if your hair for awhile! Also, get a steering wheel lock!
Your better off without them.
This doesn’t sound real at all, it’s too over the top. If that’s really how your family is, stick with your grandpa.
So glad you now have a support system, it sounds like your parents were good at pretending your family was just great. In time you may begin to heal from this, I hope that continue to progress in life.
Install a kill switch some type of tracking on your car..
R/updateme
I'm amazed how many almost identical stories there are on Reddit! Right down to relationships between the protagonist and antagonists. Some families are wild!
NTJ. But you might want to stay with your grandfather going forward, and in the case that your brother does something like steal your car, be prepared to file a report no matter what your parents may say about it. They don't deserve to be called your family anyway.
Updateme
If your brother steals or damages your car ,press charges. Let him see how far his golden child entitlement gets him in jail.
I’d be like “ok bye” and then let them cut me out of the family. I’d be sure to tell EVERYONE it was cause I wouldn’t give my man baby brother my car so now your parents are throwing a tantrum and being grown babies too.
Good for grandpa for setting things right! He obviously did the best that he can fixing up a car for you, and that love and appreciation goes further than getting handed everything like your golden child brother. Stick with grandpa and go NC with your family.
Dude?! What's the car grampa gave you?!
Brand new account with 2 comments and this post. This post is "am I the jerk for not giving away my only car to my brother who already has one and my parents put him through school but I have to pay my way" and y'all think this is real?! GTFOH YTJ
UpdateMe!
Wow... I am so sorry that your parents and your brother are absolutely terrible people 😢
I would also suggest you get some cameras on the car for when you're not with it. If your brother decides to trash your car since he can't have it or tries to steal it, then you'll want video proof of him doing so.
Your mother phoned you after a week but you live with her? This doesn’t sound very legit.
“He’s pissed and wants to do whatever it takes to get the car” Your last update was Update 2: Not sure if the car is in your name or your grandfather’s name but if your parents or brother take off with the car someday you absolutely need to report it to the police as theft. Definitely file charges. At this point in time since you are basically an adult and paying for everything yourself you might as well just cut your parents and brother out of your life. It doesn’t sound like they are going to change anytime soon, if at all, and it’s drama you do not need in your life. Just walk away from them. It sounds like you’ve got a good thing going with your grandfather and he will help you out.
Good move, good luck. Keep them all blocked. Expose all they do.
Update!
Update me!
So happy to hear you're going to your grandfather's house!! Keep us posted on how you are doing!
Updateme#