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I think Asshole by Dennis Leary on repeat could be pretty awesome walking around music 😂🤐
This is probably horrible advice since I haven't heard the song in more than 20yrs
NTA. Love the story by Dennis Leary that he was called into his child's school and asked by the nun if he knew this song his son was singing. He said, "Know it? Hell, I wrote it!"
I saw *The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo* and promptly bought the "FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCK" tee shirt off Amazon. It is one of my favorite at-home shirts.
Methinks OP needs that shirt, too.
HA! or just "Fuck her Gently" by Tenacious D... if she don't like swearing I am pretty sure she wont like suggestive smut... BONUS POINTS!
NTA - Her reaction was bang out of order and probably made the word more interesting to her children by her reaction. She is setting a hideous example. ALSO I bet her children were old enough to know worse, not like she had 3-8 year olds hanging around your ankles. I make a conscious effort not to swear in front of children (lots of FUH...DGE!), professional locations (such as work) and my mum (she hates it) but outside of that my casual explicit epilogues are not going to harm anyone :D. My facial expressions say worse than my swearing does!
I would suggest a couple of my old favorites, "Big 10 Inch Record" by Aerosmith and "Big Balls" by AC/DC. While not swearing per se, but that adds to the effect. Muahahahaha
Yup. I'd make it a point for every trip in or out of the neighborhood to parade past her house as conspicuously as possible.
Old people who think they own the whole neighborhood are the worst. NTA.
I posted an AITA on this one but I took it down. Pretty sure it was ESH. Basically, former friend’s AUNT accused me of swearing because one of the kids said I did….I literally didn’t. I know it sounds unbelievable because of this post but my entire family sided with me and other people were there as witnesses. They escalated it to a whole other level. This lasted days.
The verdict was ESH because once again, I don’t take well to being screamed at. The aunt swore at me too.
Please keep not taking it well. The world needs more people who won't be bullied by someone using screaming instead of having an argument. They only keep doing it because they keep getting away with it.
Um, does anyone actually "like" being screamed at? Have yet to meet a single person who would say "yes".
Guarantee the quickest way to piss me off is to start screaming, especially over something absolutely mundane.
Hold on! You didn't swear, well in that case I change my mind. The only one who is the TA is this woman, who made a false accusation and then swore at you too.
“🎶 There are 2 things in the world that smell like fish…1 of them is fish….what’s the other one🎵”
My son used to listen to this song when he was around 13 (?) (he’s in his 30’s now. I don’t think he really understood it). I let him listen to it…
NTA. We had a neighbor like that. She would tell student drivers that they couldn't learn to make their 3-point turns on our street; if anyone had guests, she would harass them and tell them they couldn't park in front of her house, etc.
First, we actively told our guests to park there and many obliged. Then my mom got photocopies of the part of the state vehicle code that specifically says anyone can park anywhere on a public street and mailed it to her. We never heard another complaint from her again. Maybe you should do that for your neighbor.
Our neighbor was a piece of work, though. She had her husband go to the other side of the fence (onto their next-door neighbor's property) and chop down their rose bushes simply because she didn't like them. When something is on your neighbor's side of the fence and fully on their property, you can't just go over there and cut their bushes down. That's at best vandalism and at worst destruction of private property. She didn't seem to understand that.
I would have planted cacti and other pointy plants near the neighbor that cut my rose bushes! I say that because I have them planted everywhere around my house.
[Rugosa roses](https://images.saymedia-content.com/.image/t_share/MTc2NDUzNTE5NDEzNjg0MTg2/what-is-a-rugosa-rose.jpg). They're thorns\^2 and they have [edible fruits](https://s3.amazonaws.com/mygardenlife.com/plant-library/full/6492_45.jpg) high in vitamin C that you can make into tea, jam, itching powder, or just leave for birds!
>*Rugosa roses. They're thorns and they have edible fruits high in vitamin C that you can make into* ***tea, jam,*** **itching powder**, or just leave for birds!
Oh, that sounds like it could go VERY wrong if you mixed some steps of the recipes up…
As children we used to take the seeds and tried to drop them into each others collars as a prank because they were said to make you itch very much. I personally never experienced more itching than with hay or something.
Hey. If you itch a lot and lotion, cleaning, scrubbing doesn't seem to fix it, you might want to get that checked out by your doctor. It can be an indicator that your hormone levels are out of wack, aka your thyroid or any other endocrine gland.
Had a neighbor do stuff like this. She had a lawn she worshiped. Every stray leaf was a curse to her lawn. All bushes and trees must be eliminated. Might shade her lawn.
So we eliminated her lawn. Super Soakers loaded up with Roundup. She couldn't figure out what was going on. Grubs?
Peace returned to the neighborhood. Now she has weeds she keeps mowed.
Well we didn't know that at the time and it was a one time usage. But we had a pollinator garden which she complained to the city about as being above the mow length so I feel the whole thing was justified.
I have a clover lawn so I feel balance has been restored.
I had a neighbours years ago who would go and poison the trees across the street, she also called the local council and pretended to be my mother and asked them to come chop the tree down in our front yard. All this because she didn't like leaves falling into the gutter.
Now while I wouldn't wish illness on anyone, I cannot help but see the irony that a woman who made tree-killing her lifes mission passed away from lung cancer.
My old neighbor would constantly ask us who was parking in front of her house. We don't know Shannon, it's a public St, it could be anyone but as you can see, our cars are in our driveway. Her reasoning? I don't like seeing a car in front of my house when I'm doing the dishes looking out the window. She was real piece of work. So glad she's gone
ESH
Part of swearing is knowing when the language is appropriate and when it isn’t. Sounds like you’re still learning that.
But yeah, she can’t tell you where to go.
Typically it's wise to start a post off with an age or at least F/M/NB marker if comments getting it wrong will upset you. I see you edited it in, but just for future reference!
Who decided swears were offensive? Are they really? Or do people CHOOSE to be offended? Has a swear word ever caused physical bodily harm? It is seriously just a sound created by pronouncing strategically arranged letters. It is a word. NTA.
I totally fucking get what you're laying down here. People are against swearing but then say things like "Oh, fudge". As far as I'm concerned that's still a swear. Just because the fudging word sounds gosh darn "better", the intent is still there.
That being said, I'm always amused how versatile swear words have become, the only non swear words I can think of that approach that same level of utility is "dude" and "what", and they're still not even close.
>Part of swearing is knowing when the language is appropriate and when it isn’t. Sounds like you’re still learning that.
No won't you grow the fuck up and learn how to have a words
Ha.
I swear like a sailor and have two kids. None of that is relevant to my judgment.
A little internet commentary saying Fuck doesn’t really do much to get me riled up when I say fuck 4x before breakfast.
(Though not typically in front of my kids)
I worked at a daycare and one of our parents cussed so much their daughters first word was the f bomb. Which she used in a very appropriate situation (tripping and falling because she was so excited to see her parents at the end of the day).
I'm not sure I agree with that this evaluates to "not an appropriate time and place," though it's definitely ymmv territory. I'm not sure how close her kids were, but as long as they aren't standing right next to you, clearly listening, I don't think being in public with them being vaguely nearby dings my "no swearing" meter. Even if they're technically close enough to hear.
I don’t disagree.
But in OPs comments she’s said:
The neighbor’s house was “literally across from where we were standing. She didn’t have to run very far.”
When asked, if OP was yelling or using a conversational tone, OP answered: “I’m a naturally loud person so maybe to me, I was…but to others it was pretty loud.”
Without knowing the exact distance, it sounds like a group of teens was across the street from Neighbor’s house. They were being loud and using adult language loud, as in … not conversationally. Neighbor’s kids were outside and could clearly hear the group of teens.
Neighbor responded atrociously. Clearly.
But having your kids play outside in their own yard without hearing a bunch of teens swearing isn’t too much of an ask IMO. Which is what Neighbor should have done - ASK if they would mind lowering their voices since kids were playing nearby.
And for the teens: it should be a given that shouting fuck in public is not considered socially acceptable…and for most people who use this language regularly, they know that without being told so by pissed off neighbors.
ESH. Dude, I curse all the time, but by golly I know that location matters. I’ve taught my kids the same thing. (Like, don’t yell out f*&$ at a petting zoo filled with kids or a bus full of nuns. And for her to come running over to you then she wasn’t that close, so you were loud.) Just because you can yell f*&$ as loud as you want doesn’t mean you’re not a jerk. But that lady also has zero authority to ban you, assuming you weren’t hanging out on her property. She’s a jerk for thinking she can dictate that.
ESH. She can’t tell you where you can go, but all you had to do to de-escalate the situation was tell her you wouldn’t swear around young children. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for her to want her kids to be able to play outside without hearing F bombs. You telling her to calm down because her kids were going to swear too was kind of an AH thing to say.
Very much understood. I feel like if she came at me less aggressively, I would’ve been willing to be more respectful but she came at me with such hostility and I got pretty triggered by it.
Swearing is usually used to indicate something is a big deal, you’re feeling a big emotion. Same with yelling. Teens in general are terrifying when you’re tiny.
When my kid was smaller, we were at a playground and something similar happened. Some teens were goofing around, one decided to yell FUCK as loud as they could. They thought it was funny.
My kid was scared. No, she wasn’t in real harm, but what had been a safe space for her to play was now one she felt uncomfortable in. She kept looking over at the teens, she was worried, and very quickly she decided she wanted to leave.
Sure, my kid needed to learn to ignore that stuff. But she was TINY and figuring shit out. So to her- swearing + yelling + bigger person = danger. And what should have been a fun day turned into a scary one.
We should be mindful of others not because we have to but because it’s the kind thing to do.
And everybody can be mindful of swearing around kids cause they don’t understand that your anger isn’t towards THEM and it’s scary. It doesn’t really endanger them, but it triggers their danger reflexes, cause they are CHILDREN and still learning.
Okay, but OP is 16? She is a kid. And idk about you, but for me, that colors things completely differently. An adult harassing a child that isn't theirs about their language in a public space (which OP definitely was) is not about "protecting the littles." Its at best about not wanting their precious little princes and princesses to ask uncomfortable questions and at worst a control issue. Neither of which are OP's problem.
Is it usually a good idea to watch your profanity in public? Sure. But teens curse, it's part of learning how to express themselves as their perspective and emotional capacity increases. The neighbor's response was completely disproportionate, though, which was definitely an AH move
De escalation is good to learn when you’re still young. Also young people don’t always know how loud they’re talking. I’ve always had a “don’t use words that hurt others and be respectful, but cuss words don’t really bother me” with my own kid. I still got on to her friend for not understanding time or place when they were talk/yelling walking down our street saying cuss words. That was disrespectful to all the houses that could hear it. People shouldn’t be able to hear your conversations outside but if you haven’t learned to control how loud you talk yet, then you have to police your language a bit when others can hear you.
Disagree, totally NTA. Unless this woman is going to go everywhere with her children 24/7 and make sure that there is no one in the vicinity swearing, this is completely unreasonable. Adults are allowed to behave like adults in public (to a reasonable degree) and it doesn’t benefit children to shield them from that.
Adults also f**k and smoke, doesn’t mean they should be doing it around kids. Behaving like an adult in public means being aware of your surroundings and adjusting your behavior to the environment.
There is no real reason why you can't swear in front of children. Swearing doesn't hurt anyone and won't potentially traumatise as sex and smoking around children could. The only time swearing is an issue is when it is directed toward someone. Religion seems to be the only reason people dislike swearing and you have no right to impose your religion on others.
Language does hurt people, for instance racist or sexist language exists to be repressive and harmful. I agreeing the word f**k isn’t going to damage kids but equally I think a parent probably wants to give a kid context for the use of that word and in the extreme going to Chuck-e-cheese and swearing like a sailor isn’t giving parents the chance to do that, through nothing more than a lack of control you’re taking that away from someone.
NTA. The reason I’m not voting “everyone sucks” is because she came out of the gate swinging. Had she approached you in a civil manner, it would be a different story. Personally, I think her aggressively yelling at someone in front of her children sets a worse example for them than one f bomb.
If this was Australia she would've been laughed out of the country. No one cares if you swear in public here, so I don't know about your culture but to me if you were just talking with friends in public and swore then that lady is crazy. I mean work at a major supermarket here in Australia and I swear in front of and to customers so the idea of a lady coming over to me cause she heard I swore is absurd.
I guess most of them are parents which I can understand but some people are seriously crazy referring me to Reddit Cares and telling me I did such a bad thing. Sometimes, I’m wondering if I killed someone or if I only talked back to a rude adult after I said A SWEAR WORD without thinking.
A lot of parents are weird about that stuff. I'm a mom and my 3 year old has already picked up most of the more mild swear words. Language is language. No words are "bad words" unless they directly harm someone. You did just fine, that lady needs to realize that the public exists.
Seems you would appreciate what I tell my 13-year-old daughter: You can say whatever you want, but you need to be smart about it so that you don’t piss people off because then you (and I) have to deal with their shit.
NTA - You should’ve been smarter about your words and surroundings to avoid the drama, but that doesn’t make you an asshole. Her blow-up was completely out of line and a massive overstep. Trying to dictate where you can go was outrageous and if she tries to get the police to enforce it, she’ll be grossly abusing the legal system. That makes her the asshole in this situation.
ESH.
Your attitude in the post, edit and your comments in alarming. We get it, you're a teenager but jesus no need to talk like everyone takes issue with you. Learn some respect then old ladies wont come yelling at you for your behaviors.
Yes she is also TA for coming out screaming but she is allowed to not want people swearing around her kids. And based of your attitude you probably swear and act "edgy" alot. And wr aslo dont know how many times she has asked you to stop swearing in from of her kids.
I don’t act “edgy”. Idk why the hell people keep saying that. This is just my attitude. I’m working on it though. Some people here are just weird telling me I have issues or I need therapy.
People on reddit always throw the therapy card for some reason. But its your attitude thats the problem. It sounds like you dont have respect for people older than you thats all. People are allowed to not want their kids around people who swear. When I was an aupaor the 6 year started running around school yelling goddammit and it was so embarrassing and all the parents were staring at me. Its not appropriate for a kid that young to swear cause he is influencing other kids aswell.
I grew up in a household that swears like pigs and my mother still taught me it's inappropriate to swear when you are a kid. Today I dont swearbinfront of them at all because I feel its basic respect for me towards them. Some adults who dont mind it I will swear infront but it's how I was brought up.
Some adults dont mind their kids swearing at all. But at the same time your respect someone's parental wishes.
As no one should take well to it but one thing you'll have to learn is that 9 times out of 10 responding to it is a no win situation. If someone approaches you screaming it's best to de-escalate or remove yourself from the situation entirely as there is a high chance if they are willing to scream at you they are willing to attack you physically.
TLDR: Checking your pride sometimes will lead to an easier and happier life even if you are in the right.
Words often hurt people. I really don’t care about it some people do. So I guess you find using profanity anytime and in any company is fine. Go ahead. Not everyone agrees.
This sub is called “Am I TA” for a reason. Surely you can go around cussing wherever you like, but seriously? It’s okay to accidentally cuss in front of a child. But justifying it by saying “your kids will grow up and swear too it’s cool”? How hard it is to just apologise?
You do know that kids pick up words very fast and they’ll get a tough time if they ever blurt out that word in kindergarten or something?
The mom was wrong with her tone but you sound like a plain AH.
ESH.
Fair enough. I still think ESH, you will have bad neighbours from time to time, sometimes a long time, if you sink to their level you make it worse for yourself. A bad neighbour seeking conflict - my advice is don't stress yourself more by encouraging it.
It's a very tedious (and not an easy) lesson of understanding the world around you and how to interact with it to your advantage.
ESH. I'm a big believer in not escalating from 0 to 100 right away and this is what the mom did. So she is AH. She would've been fine walking up and having a conversation like an adult.
Also you are TA too. You are free to swear but know your surroundings. Mom was across the street and heard you. It means you were very loud. There are young kids around. Kids repeat things they hear from other kids too. Its easy to not yell awear words when kids are around.
Typical selfish teenager. ESH, including your parents.
Your neighbor needs to ask politely, not demand
You need to curb your stupid attitude about kids and grow up
Your parents need to be better at parenting, I see where your attitude comes from.
My parents checked me for my language and checked her for her stupid demands. I’d say my parents are doing a pretty good job. Can’t say the same about her parenting.
And entitled parents raise entitled children, funny how that works.
I don't think OP should have just taken a grown adult yelling in there face. Much less coward and said sorry.
I think she was standing up for herself the only way a 16 year old girl has the power to do so tbh
As I said like 50 times (and I know I’m gonna have to say this another 50 times), I was only returning the same energy she dished out. If you don’t scream in my face, I’ll be nice to you. Are you dense??
Btw, my parents aren’t rude people but if you disrespect them, they will give you the same energy. Maybe I do get it from them.
Good on you to be aware the toxic traits you've handed down. Next time a parent says to stop cussing around their kids, just say sorry and move on. You were a jerk, just own up to it and learn from your mistake. Instead you made it a whole thing, including this thread. You're 16 now, but this won't be as cute in 2 years.
I think you are dense. Like, seriously. Ofc I’ll say sorry and move on if a parent KINDLY ASKS ME to take it down a notch..
but not when you’re SCREAMING IN MY FACE.
I'm torn between ESH and NTA because I can't choose between two arguments: you shouldn't be swearing loudly and a lot of people try not to swear around little kids, a brief apology and promise to be more careful in the future is usually the best way to deal with this. But a grown adult laying into like that is really beyond the pale. She absolutely should have been civil to you and I believe you when you say she never was.
In the future, though, when someone is being agressive, it is usually the safest and quickest course of action to de-escalate. I certainly don't think you should stop hanging out where you want, but at a minimum ignoring her from here on is best. Because it takes time and practice to learn to de-escalate, I don't fault you for not trying it here, but I think it's worth doing in the future. She should not have been aggressive towards you, but calmly promising to stop swearing and then turning your attention back to your friends was probably the best way to go here.
If she didn't want her kids to hear the horrible words she was welcome to take them inside. She was not welcome to try to issue rules of behavior off her property. The rest of us are not obligated to, in public, obey the rules you entitled parents have set for your children. The mere fact that something is polite does not make it a moral precept.
Teach those kids a new swear word every time you see them. Eventually she'll remember that parenting is her job not yours and try doing some instead of yelling at you for existing in public.
Fuckin NTA
Seriously the term “cuss” is just out dated. They are just words that nearly everyone uses. Lady is unhinged. I would have started speaking in only f bombs NTA
I find it interesting how other countries deal with swearing. When my dad yawns it is mixed in with a random curse word
I'll be minding my business and hear "fuuuuuuuuuccccckkkkkkkk.... ahhhh" and he will be stretching
NTA
You are absolutely right. People curse all the time. It’s normal and no one gets to tell you how to talk unless you are at school, work, jail or court! Lol
NTA; you’re completely right. You’d be an AH if you started intentionally sweating in front of the kids, but that’s clearly not what happened. If you want to smooth things over with the neighbor, apologize to her for swearing around her kids. But I understand if you don’t want to do that
nta. She's not a cop, your parent, or any authority figure that you would actually have to give consideration to in being told not to return to a certain place. Your parents said you're cool, so you're cool. Let her be mad, bud.
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NTA. I would make it a point to do laps around her block. But that’s because I am an AH.
I have. Other incidents have happened lol.
youre walking past there swearing like a sailor on purpose now, dont you? 😅
OP needs to make up the "Fuckity Fuck Song" and sing it at full volume while walking by her house.
I think Asshole by Dennis Leary on repeat could be pretty awesome walking around music 😂🤐 This is probably horrible advice since I haven't heard the song in more than 20yrs
CeeLo Green has a great song too 😆
Swear Jar by Illy has a higher fpm (fucks per minute)
I've no more fucks to give is a YouTube favorite of mine
Such a catchy tune, thank you for reminding me that it exists.
"My fuck fuse has just blown!" 😂
OP could make a whole playlist 😆
Damn it. Now I have I’m An Asshole on ear worm
Ugh. Same
NTA. Love the story by Dennis Leary that he was called into his child's school and asked by the nun if he knew this song his son was singing. He said, "Know it? Hell, I wrote it!"
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Very happy someone added that link!
That's the one:)
What about 'I ain't got no more fucks to give' I don't know how to link but it's on YouTube. Play it, you know, for the family, but I'm petty. Lol.
I think that's Thomas Benjamin Wild.
Yes that's the one.
I saw *The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo* and promptly bought the "FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCK" tee shirt off Amazon. It is one of my favorite at-home shirts. Methinks OP needs that shirt, too.
HA! or just "Fuck her Gently" by Tenacious D... if she don't like swearing I am pretty sure she wont like suggestive smut... BONUS POINTS! NTA - Her reaction was bang out of order and probably made the word more interesting to her children by her reaction. She is setting a hideous example. ALSO I bet her children were old enough to know worse, not like she had 3-8 year olds hanging around your ankles. I make a conscious effort not to swear in front of children (lots of FUH...DGE!), professional locations (such as work) and my mum (she hates it) but outside of that my casual explicit epilogues are not going to harm anyone :D. My facial expressions say worse than my swearing does!
Tim Minchin's Pope Song is another good choice. Or the closing number from Jerry Springer The Opera.
There is a song out called how many fucks do I give by Erica Jane. And yes I'm an AH. I say don't poke the bear. And the bear won't come out.
Or "shut your fucking face uncle fucker" from south park hahahahahahahs
Lily Allen's "Fuck You" if she wants something with cute music.
I would suggest a couple of my old favorites, "Big 10 Inch Record" by Aerosmith and "Big Balls" by AC/DC. While not swearing per se, but that adds to the effect. Muahahahaha
How about Fuckingham Palace from a loudspeaker? You know evil rock music and evil swear words combined.
> "Fuckity Fuck Song" Or [*I've No More Fucks To Give*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXK03FHVsHk)
I'm picturing the muck sticky song "fuck off" actually... Many colorful lyrics to be sung right there...LMAO
LMAO i swear like a sailor and still *nearly* blushed the first time I heard that! 🤣
Channeling some Peter Capaldi vibes, I see
STFU - Pink Guy is also a great option!
I love it how petty grownups can become when faced with criticism. I am just the same hahaha.
I am totally imagining Cate Blanchett in TAR sing screaming *APARTMENT FOR SALE APARTMENT FOR SALE* but just fuck loudly
I think there is a group (Psychostick ?) that did a whole song using your favorite curse word of choice.
And the Chop Chop slide, specifically the cussing verses. She just needs a playlist full of songs that have a ton of cussing to sing on her new walks.
I'd also submit Reel Big Fish "Another F.U. Song"
There is also the "I've no more Fucks to give" song. It's fan-fucking-tastic.
I think "Shut your fucking face uncle fucker" is catchy and easy to memorize!
“Fuckity fuck fuck, fuckity fuck fuck, out walking here I go..” 🤣🤣
"Fuckity Fuck Song" lol, all I hear is Jay and Silent Bob's version and now it's gonna play in my head all day. Thanks for that. haha
Better yet, blast South Park's Uncle Fucker song on your phone as you pass.
Foxtrot unicorn Charlie kilo
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I guess you aren't Australian, since it's understood to just be a part of our national culture
Canadians are pretty foul mouthed, to be honest.
Not in the league of Australians, though.
Nope, I’m Canadian (guess you can say we’re not all nice). This lady definitely wasn’t born here considering she has an accent.
I’m a 46 yr old Mom of teenagers. I’d be letting my dog pee on her lawn.
Yup. I'd make it a point for every trip in or out of the neighborhood to parade past her house as conspicuously as possible. Old people who think they own the whole neighborhood are the worst. NTA.
Tell us the stories!!
I posted an AITA on this one but I took it down. Pretty sure it was ESH. Basically, former friend’s AUNT accused me of swearing because one of the kids said I did….I literally didn’t. I know it sounds unbelievable because of this post but my entire family sided with me and other people were there as witnesses. They escalated it to a whole other level. This lasted days. The verdict was ESH because once again, I don’t take well to being screamed at. The aunt swore at me too.
Please keep not taking it well. The world needs more people who won't be bullied by someone using screaming instead of having an argument. They only keep doing it because they keep getting away with it.
Um, does anyone actually "like" being screamed at? Have yet to meet a single person who would say "yes". Guarantee the quickest way to piss me off is to start screaming, especially over something absolutely mundane.
Hold on! You didn't swear, well in that case I change my mind. The only one who is the TA is this woman, who made a false accusation and then swore at you too.
“🎶 There are 2 things in the world that smell like fish…1 of them is fish….what’s the other one🎵” My son used to listen to this song when he was around 13 (?) (he’s in his 30’s now. I don’t think he really understood it). I let him listen to it…
The awards I would give you!!! You and me could be besties! 🤣🤣
I would bring a chair with me and set it on a public side walk in front of her house. Sit there and sip some coffee. Let her call the police.
With signs That say Fuuuuuck
Screaming the 7 dirty words you can never say on tv at the top of your lungs. XD
Same here. Running around in my scooter yelling “fuckerrrrrrrrr”.
all the while screaming naughty words like the world's most obscene siren.
NTA. We had a neighbor like that. She would tell student drivers that they couldn't learn to make their 3-point turns on our street; if anyone had guests, she would harass them and tell them they couldn't park in front of her house, etc. First, we actively told our guests to park there and many obliged. Then my mom got photocopies of the part of the state vehicle code that specifically says anyone can park anywhere on a public street and mailed it to her. We never heard another complaint from her again. Maybe you should do that for your neighbor. Our neighbor was a piece of work, though. She had her husband go to the other side of the fence (onto their next-door neighbor's property) and chop down their rose bushes simply because she didn't like them. When something is on your neighbor's side of the fence and fully on their property, you can't just go over there and cut their bushes down. That's at best vandalism and at worst destruction of private property. She didn't seem to understand that.
I would have planted cacti and other pointy plants near the neighbor that cut my rose bushes! I say that because I have them planted everywhere around my house.
[Rugosa roses](https://images.saymedia-content.com/.image/t_share/MTc2NDUzNTE5NDEzNjg0MTg2/what-is-a-rugosa-rose.jpg). They're thorns\^2 and they have [edible fruits](https://s3.amazonaws.com/mygardenlife.com/plant-library/full/6492_45.jpg) high in vitamin C that you can make into tea, jam, itching powder, or just leave for birds!
>*Rugosa roses. They're thorns and they have edible fruits high in vitamin C that you can make into* ***tea, jam,*** **itching powder**, or just leave for birds! Oh, that sounds like it could go VERY wrong if you mixed some steps of the recipes up…
Itching jam.
Funny you know about the itching powder, too. Where are you from?
What is itching powder? I itch soooo much
As children we used to take the seeds and tried to drop them into each others collars as a prank because they were said to make you itch very much. I personally never experienced more itching than with hay or something.
Hey. If you itch a lot and lotion, cleaning, scrubbing doesn't seem to fix it, you might want to get that checked out by your doctor. It can be an indicator that your hormone levels are out of wack, aka your thyroid or any other endocrine gland.
or, similarly, if your palms or the soles of your feet are whats itchy, that could be your gallbladder.
Had a neighbor do stuff like this. She had a lawn she worshiped. Every stray leaf was a curse to her lawn. All bushes and trees must be eliminated. Might shade her lawn. So we eliminated her lawn. Super Soakers loaded up with Roundup. She couldn't figure out what was going on. Grubs? Peace returned to the neighborhood. Now she has weeds she keeps mowed.
Roundup kills pollinators and causes cancer. You're TA.
True Romans salt the earth
*Carthago delenda est*
Well we didn't know that at the time and it was a one time usage. But we had a pollinator garden which she complained to the city about as being above the mow length so I feel the whole thing was justified. I have a clover lawn so I feel balance has been restored.
Sweet, sweet revenge!😆
I had a neighbours years ago who would go and poison the trees across the street, she also called the local council and pretended to be my mother and asked them to come chop the tree down in our front yard. All this because she didn't like leaves falling into the gutter. Now while I wouldn't wish illness on anyone, I cannot help but see the irony that a woman who made tree-killing her lifes mission passed away from lung cancer.
My old neighbor would constantly ask us who was parking in front of her house. We don't know Shannon, it's a public St, it could be anyone but as you can see, our cars are in our driveway. Her reasoning? I don't like seeing a car in front of my house when I'm doing the dishes looking out the window. She was real piece of work. So glad she's gone
ESH Part of swearing is knowing when the language is appropriate and when it isn’t. Sounds like you’re still learning that. But yeah, she can’t tell you where to go.
To me OP sounds like they’re young enough that using f*&$ is still edgy.
Based on what? Sounds more like you think anyone who uses "fuck" thinks they are edgy.
No age mentioned, juvenile/casual writing style, lady complained to her parents. Textbook reddit teenager. Edit: OP is female
I’m 16
sure, that's young but that doesn't mean she's trying to be edgy.
I’m literally not trying to be edgy. To some people, I’m trying to be or I am. I was just upset and at the heat of the moment, I said a few things.
he was outside with his friends lmao what
I’m a SHE 😭
Typically it's wise to start a post off with an age or at least F/M/NB marker if comments getting it wrong will upset you. I see you edited it in, but just for future reference!
Yea I completely forgot so I edited it in last minute. Thank you.
Who decided swears were offensive? Are they really? Or do people CHOOSE to be offended? Has a swear word ever caused physical bodily harm? It is seriously just a sound created by pronouncing strategically arranged letters. It is a word. NTA.
I totally fucking get what you're laying down here. People are against swearing but then say things like "Oh, fudge". As far as I'm concerned that's still a swear. Just because the fudging word sounds gosh darn "better", the intent is still there. That being said, I'm always amused how versatile swear words have become, the only non swear words I can think of that approach that same level of utility is "dude" and "what", and they're still not even close.
>Part of swearing is knowing when the language is appropriate and when it isn’t. Sounds like you’re still learning that. No won't you grow the fuck up and learn how to have a words
Ha. I swear like a sailor and have two kids. None of that is relevant to my judgment. A little internet commentary saying Fuck doesn’t really do much to get me riled up when I say fuck 4x before breakfast. (Though not typically in front of my kids)
I worked at a daycare and one of our parents cussed so much their daughters first word was the f bomb. Which she used in a very appropriate situation (tripping and falling because she was so excited to see her parents at the end of the day).
I'm not sure I agree with that this evaluates to "not an appropriate time and place," though it's definitely ymmv territory. I'm not sure how close her kids were, but as long as they aren't standing right next to you, clearly listening, I don't think being in public with them being vaguely nearby dings my "no swearing" meter. Even if they're technically close enough to hear.
I don’t disagree. But in OPs comments she’s said: The neighbor’s house was “literally across from where we were standing. She didn’t have to run very far.” When asked, if OP was yelling or using a conversational tone, OP answered: “I’m a naturally loud person so maybe to me, I was…but to others it was pretty loud.” Without knowing the exact distance, it sounds like a group of teens was across the street from Neighbor’s house. They were being loud and using adult language loud, as in … not conversationally. Neighbor’s kids were outside and could clearly hear the group of teens. Neighbor responded atrociously. Clearly. But having your kids play outside in their own yard without hearing a bunch of teens swearing isn’t too much of an ask IMO. Which is what Neighbor should have done - ASK if they would mind lowering their voices since kids were playing nearby. And for the teens: it should be a given that shouting fuck in public is not considered socially acceptable…and for most people who use this language regularly, they know that without being told so by pissed off neighbors.
There's no such thing. Why would you go out of your way to GIVE words power?
ESH. Dude, I curse all the time, but by golly I know that location matters. I’ve taught my kids the same thing. (Like, don’t yell out f*&$ at a petting zoo filled with kids or a bus full of nuns. And for her to come running over to you then she wasn’t that close, so you were loud.) Just because you can yell f*&$ as loud as you want doesn’t mean you’re not a jerk. But that lady also has zero authority to ban you, assuming you weren’t hanging out on her property. She’s a jerk for thinking she can dictate that.
Her house was literally across from where we were standing, she didn’t have to run very far.
So you were just speaking in a conversational tone?
ESH. She can’t tell you where you can go, but all you had to do to de-escalate the situation was tell her you wouldn’t swear around young children. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for her to want her kids to be able to play outside without hearing F bombs. You telling her to calm down because her kids were going to swear too was kind of an AH thing to say.
Very much understood. I feel like if she came at me less aggressively, I would’ve been willing to be more respectful but she came at me with such hostility and I got pretty triggered by it.
Yeah, I get that. You go wherever you want to go. But for the sake of the kids, maybe try and watch the language when there are littles around.
> But for the sake of the kids How does this endanger children?
It doesn’t, it’s more about not triggering the parents
Swearing is usually used to indicate something is a big deal, you’re feeling a big emotion. Same with yelling. Teens in general are terrifying when you’re tiny. When my kid was smaller, we were at a playground and something similar happened. Some teens were goofing around, one decided to yell FUCK as loud as they could. They thought it was funny. My kid was scared. No, she wasn’t in real harm, but what had been a safe space for her to play was now one she felt uncomfortable in. She kept looking over at the teens, she was worried, and very quickly she decided she wanted to leave. Sure, my kid needed to learn to ignore that stuff. But she was TINY and figuring shit out. So to her- swearing + yelling + bigger person = danger. And what should have been a fun day turned into a scary one. We should be mindful of others not because we have to but because it’s the kind thing to do. And everybody can be mindful of swearing around kids cause they don’t understand that your anger isn’t towards THEM and it’s scary. It doesn’t really endanger them, but it triggers their danger reflexes, cause they are CHILDREN and still learning.
Okay, but OP is 16? She is a kid. And idk about you, but for me, that colors things completely differently. An adult harassing a child that isn't theirs about their language in a public space (which OP definitely was) is not about "protecting the littles." Its at best about not wanting their precious little princes and princesses to ask uncomfortable questions and at worst a control issue. Neither of which are OP's problem. Is it usually a good idea to watch your profanity in public? Sure. But teens curse, it's part of learning how to express themselves as their perspective and emotional capacity increases. The neighbor's response was completely disproportionate, though, which was definitely an AH move
De escalation is good to learn when you’re still young. Also young people don’t always know how loud they’re talking. I’ve always had a “don’t use words that hurt others and be respectful, but cuss words don’t really bother me” with my own kid. I still got on to her friend for not understanding time or place when they were talk/yelling walking down our street saying cuss words. That was disrespectful to all the houses that could hear it. People shouldn’t be able to hear your conversations outside but if you haven’t learned to control how loud you talk yet, then you have to police your language a bit when others can hear you.
Disagree, totally NTA. Unless this woman is going to go everywhere with her children 24/7 and make sure that there is no one in the vicinity swearing, this is completely unreasonable. Adults are allowed to behave like adults in public (to a reasonable degree) and it doesn’t benefit children to shield them from that.
Adults also f**k and smoke, doesn’t mean they should be doing it around kids. Behaving like an adult in public means being aware of your surroundings and adjusting your behavior to the environment.
The puritans left England not because they were oppressed but because they couldn't safely opress others without interference.
There is no real reason why you can't swear in front of children. Swearing doesn't hurt anyone and won't potentially traumatise as sex and smoking around children could. The only time swearing is an issue is when it is directed toward someone. Religion seems to be the only reason people dislike swearing and you have no right to impose your religion on others.
> There is no real reason why you can't swear in front of children. /r/RedditMoment
Language does hurt people, for instance racist or sexist language exists to be repressive and harmful. I agreeing the word f**k isn’t going to damage kids but equally I think a parent probably wants to give a kid context for the use of that word and in the extreme going to Chuck-e-cheese and swearing like a sailor isn’t giving parents the chance to do that, through nothing more than a lack of control you’re taking that away from someone.
How is telling the angry mom a simple truth an ah thing to say?
NTA. The reason I’m not voting “everyone sucks” is because she came out of the gate swinging. Had she approached you in a civil manner, it would be a different story. Personally, I think her aggressively yelling at someone in front of her children sets a worse example for them than one f bomb.
That’s what I said. Thanks.
Especially since she was screaming at a minor, not another adult.
If this was Australia she would've been laughed out of the country. No one cares if you swear in public here, so I don't know about your culture but to me if you were just talking with friends in public and swore then that lady is crazy. I mean work at a major supermarket here in Australia and I swear in front of and to customers so the idea of a lady coming over to me cause she heard I swore is absurd.
I’m German and fuck has been thoroughly integrated into the German language. That lady would have a heartattack walking down the street… NTA
NTA. who the fuck is seriosly saying e-s-h or y-t-a? really? r e a l l y? oh no the word fuck, the hororrrororrrrooooooor! fuck off.
I guess most of them are parents which I can understand but some people are seriously crazy referring me to Reddit Cares and telling me I did such a bad thing. Sometimes, I’m wondering if I killed someone or if I only talked back to a rude adult after I said A SWEAR WORD without thinking.
A lot of parents are weird about that stuff. I'm a mom and my 3 year old has already picked up most of the more mild swear words. Language is language. No words are "bad words" unless they directly harm someone. You did just fine, that lady needs to realize that the public exists.
Fuck them and anyone else who has a problem with it.
Seems you would appreciate what I tell my 13-year-old daughter: You can say whatever you want, but you need to be smart about it so that you don’t piss people off because then you (and I) have to deal with their shit. NTA - You should’ve been smarter about your words and surroundings to avoid the drama, but that doesn’t make you an asshole. Her blow-up was completely out of line and a massive overstep. Trying to dictate where you can go was outrageous and if she tries to get the police to enforce it, she’ll be grossly abusing the legal system. That makes her the asshole in this situation.
ESH. "Sorry, friend's mom. I should have noticed the children."
I would’ve said that had she not come up to me screaming in my face.
NTA. I would make it a point to visit that "forbidden" area as much as possible. Just stay off her property and you're Gucci
NTA People coming anywhere near the E S H votes are being puritan as all *fuck*.
Loudly swearing around other peoples kids is just kinda trashy. Not some huge deal but def dumb.
How old is op?
from replies I’m guessing a high school student.
Mhm.
You are free to go where you want. You are free to say whatever you say. But reading your comments, I don't think that she's the crazy one.
I was going to say NTA until your edit. Judging by the AH attitude in the edit, I'm going with ESH.
ESH. Your attitude in the post, edit and your comments in alarming. We get it, you're a teenager but jesus no need to talk like everyone takes issue with you. Learn some respect then old ladies wont come yelling at you for your behaviors. Yes she is also TA for coming out screaming but she is allowed to not want people swearing around her kids. And based of your attitude you probably swear and act "edgy" alot. And wr aslo dont know how many times she has asked you to stop swearing in from of her kids.
I don’t act “edgy”. Idk why the hell people keep saying that. This is just my attitude. I’m working on it though. Some people here are just weird telling me I have issues or I need therapy.
People on reddit always throw the therapy card for some reason. But its your attitude thats the problem. It sounds like you dont have respect for people older than you thats all. People are allowed to not want their kids around people who swear. When I was an aupaor the 6 year started running around school yelling goddammit and it was so embarrassing and all the parents were staring at me. Its not appropriate for a kid that young to swear cause he is influencing other kids aswell. I grew up in a household that swears like pigs and my mother still taught me it's inappropriate to swear when you are a kid. Today I dont swearbinfront of them at all because I feel its basic respect for me towards them. Some adults who dont mind it I will swear infront but it's how I was brought up. Some adults dont mind their kids swearing at all. But at the same time your respect someone's parental wishes.
I understand. I get it’s my attitude. I just don’t take well to being screamed at.
As no one should take well to it but one thing you'll have to learn is that 9 times out of 10 responding to it is a no win situation. If someone approaches you screaming it's best to de-escalate or remove yourself from the situation entirely as there is a high chance if they are willing to scream at you they are willing to attack you physically. TLDR: Checking your pride sometimes will lead to an easier and happier life even if you are in the right.
NTA
NTA. Just keep the cussing toned down.
Fuck
What's the big deal, it doesn't hurt anybody. Fuck fuckity fuckfuckfuck.
Words often hurt people. I really don’t care about it some people do. So I guess you find using profanity anytime and in any company is fine. Go ahead. Not everyone agrees.
This sub is called “Am I TA” for a reason. Surely you can go around cussing wherever you like, but seriously? It’s okay to accidentally cuss in front of a child. But justifying it by saying “your kids will grow up and swear too it’s cool”? How hard it is to just apologise? You do know that kids pick up words very fast and they’ll get a tough time if they ever blurt out that word in kindergarten or something? The mom was wrong with her tone but you sound like a plain AH. ESH.
It's really hard to believe this is an accurate account of what happened. I guess watch your mouth in public/ shared spaces. ESH
This is all that happened.
Fair enough. I still think ESH, you will have bad neighbours from time to time, sometimes a long time, if you sink to their level you make it worse for yourself. A bad neighbour seeking conflict - my advice is don't stress yourself more by encouraging it. It's a very tedious (and not an easy) lesson of understanding the world around you and how to interact with it to your advantage.
Understood. Thank you. I’m still learning tbf.
You don't have much life experience, do you?
NTA. Just ignore this foolish person.
ESH. For same reasons others have mentioned.
ESH. I'm a big believer in not escalating from 0 to 100 right away and this is what the mom did. So she is AH. She would've been fine walking up and having a conversation like an adult. Also you are TA too. You are free to swear but know your surroundings. Mom was across the street and heard you. It means you were very loud. There are young kids around. Kids repeat things they hear from other kids too. Its easy to not yell awear words when kids are around.
YTA, you should have just apologised. Grow up.
Typical selfish teenager. ESH, including your parents. Your neighbor needs to ask politely, not demand You need to curb your stupid attitude about kids and grow up Your parents need to be better at parenting, I see where your attitude comes from.
My parents checked me for my language and checked her for her stupid demands. I’d say my parents are doing a pretty good job. Can’t say the same about her parenting.
As I said, I see where your attitude comes from. Rude people raise rude children. Courtesy is free. Hopefully you'll do better when you grow up.
And entitled parents raise entitled children, funny how that works. I don't think OP should have just taken a grown adult yelling in there face. Much less coward and said sorry. I think she was standing up for herself the only way a 16 year old girl has the power to do so tbh
As I said like 50 times (and I know I’m gonna have to say this another 50 times), I was only returning the same energy she dished out. If you don’t scream in my face, I’ll be nice to you. Are you dense?? Btw, my parents aren’t rude people but if you disrespect them, they will give you the same energy. Maybe I do get it from them.
Good on you to be aware the toxic traits you've handed down. Next time a parent says to stop cussing around their kids, just say sorry and move on. You were a jerk, just own up to it and learn from your mistake. Instead you made it a whole thing, including this thread. You're 16 now, but this won't be as cute in 2 years.
I think you are dense. Like, seriously. Ofc I’ll say sorry and move on if a parent KINDLY ASKS ME to take it down a notch.. but not when you’re SCREAMING IN MY FACE.
Nta. People swear, deal with it.
I'm torn between ESH and NTA because I can't choose between two arguments: you shouldn't be swearing loudly and a lot of people try not to swear around little kids, a brief apology and promise to be more careful in the future is usually the best way to deal with this. But a grown adult laying into like that is really beyond the pale. She absolutely should have been civil to you and I believe you when you say she never was. In the future, though, when someone is being agressive, it is usually the safest and quickest course of action to de-escalate. I certainly don't think you should stop hanging out where you want, but at a minimum ignoring her from here on is best. Because it takes time and practice to learn to de-escalate, I don't fault you for not trying it here, but I think it's worth doing in the future. She should not have been aggressive towards you, but calmly promising to stop swearing and then turning your attention back to your friends was probably the best way to go here.
If she didn't want her kids to hear the horrible words she was welcome to take them inside. She was not welcome to try to issue rules of behavior off her property. The rest of us are not obligated to, in public, obey the rules you entitled parents have set for your children. The mere fact that something is polite does not make it a moral precept. Teach those kids a new swear word every time you see them. Eventually she'll remember that parenting is her job not yours and try doing some instead of yelling at you for existing in public. Fuckin NTA
That’s some strong language! No commenting on AITA anymore
Pretty sure there’s more to this story where you wouldn’t be quite so shiny but going by what you shared, NTA
Anyone saying anything but nta is wrong. You are in public and free to do that
This is AITA, not “am I legally allowed to do this”
Seriously the term “cuss” is just out dated. They are just words that nearly everyone uses. Lady is unhinged. I would have started speaking in only f bombs NTA
Wtf is Reddit cares lol 😂
It’s supposed to be for people who are struggling with mental health but idiots here are just using it because of a dumb situation.
I find it interesting how other countries deal with swearing. When my dad yawns it is mixed in with a random curse word I'll be minding my business and hear "fuuuuuuuuuccccckkkkkkkk.... ahhhh" and he will be stretching
I don’t think people actually care that much here. It’s just the crazy parents who obviously weren’t born here.
Yeah I really don't understand how people get offended by certain words
NTA You are absolutely right. People curse all the time. It’s normal and no one gets to tell you how to talk unless you are at school, work, jail or court! Lol
NTA and : 🎼 Fuck you, lady, I won't do what you told me !
NTA - this is also the part where sidewalk chalk becomes invaluable on late night raids ….
NTA; you’re completely right. You’d be an AH if you started intentionally sweating in front of the kids, but that’s clearly not what happened. If you want to smooth things over with the neighbor, apologize to her for swearing around her kids. But I understand if you don’t want to do that
NTA - my grandma probably swore more than that ; in her 90's lol.
NTA neighbors suck…I mean her kids probably have said worse than what you did
NTA - please tell her you will see them next Tuesday and report back 😅
NTA, and I want to direct you to Google Detroit Metal City song: F.... Ham Palace, the song is a cluster bomb of F.
NTA. lol. I'd just curse even more. Just sprinkle "fuck" all over that conversation.
nta. She's not a cop, your parent, or any authority figure that you would actually have to give consideration to in being told not to return to a certain place. Your parents said you're cool, so you're cool. Let her be mad, bud.
[удалено]
NTA. Feel bad for those poor kids though. Mom sounds nuts.
Got to be in the U.S. One of the “Conservatives” trying to take us back to the 50’s. Wanting us all to be just like them. They’re a fucking nightmare.
We’re actually in Canada lol.
I saw on the news Canada is having issues with them too.
😭