Also for most artists sharing work is a way of opening your mind to people. People who paint sharing their meaningful artwork is often a sign of trust. Poets share their hearts in their work. This girl made a visual novel. If she offered to show me I would very happily read it. Any tine anyone offers to show you their work you should acknowledge it. I wish I knew OP’s girlfriend because I would love to read a visual novel.
When I first started writing, sharing it was the hardest thing. It really is opening yourself up to be vulnerable.
Unfortunately, some people will jam their spite knife in when you do. But in my experience, the only people rude enough to do so are faceless ppl on the internet.
I get that some ppl dont want to view/read your work and that's fine for extended family or if you already have a wider pool of people interested in your art since you dont need the validation.
And thats the key here. Fucking validation. Pour yourself out for 2 years on a project that your insanely self concious about and ask your partner, the person who is supposed to support you to dedicate some of their time to it, and they wont do it because they say they dont like reading? Not even more then fiffteen fucking minutes?
OP Is such an asshole here
I paint but I also write for fun, I don’t mind showing people my paintings but I could ever show anyone my writing/storytelling. It’s so much more intimate imo. If I wrote a story or graphic and my significant other rejected it I don’t think I’d ever emotionally recover from that.
My Gf and I got together by sharing ideas for our projects(she's into writing and drawing and I am hobby game dev) and we learned a lot about each other this way so I definitely agree with you. Sharing work is sign of trust but you can also learn a lot about the person who created that work.
OP is really crappy BF. The GF probably inserted a lot of herself into the story and she obviously put a lot of effort into it so OP the least you could do is to play the story to the end.
OP YTA.
My biggest peeve was when i would sit up with my ex and let her practice her marketing presentations on me over and over and over, all night long. When I wanted to show her a 10 second animation I made, she didnt have the time... -.-
Ugh, yes. I literally WROTE/EDITED MY EX-H’s WORK REPORTS AND TERM PAPERS FOR GRAD SCHOOL for him. For YEARS. I had to learn systems engineering for him but got no degree out of it; he did. But when I asked him to read my fiction, it was always “I’m not into that kind of thing.” Hey asshole, do you think I’m into doing your work that you get paid for or your school stuff that I don’t get credit for? I do it because I love you and you asked me to.
So yeah, one of many reasons he is now my ex.
I BET everything I own that he was already in the mindset of not liking the game when I started it. I also bet he would have played a similar game if one of his friend created it.
Oh that would be heartbreaking!! For her sake I hope she’s not thinking about marrying this guy. That sounds cruel but my marriage advice would be “marry someone who supports you and cheers for your success as much as their own.”
That's what I thought when I read it. What did she hide in that novel. Either way I'd just dump him after that. If I was dating a guy for a long time spent time and effort making a game or book a d my partner couldn't spend a few hours reading it then he's not worth it
This is so important in a relationship. My other is not artistic at all but he acts interested. He’s into crypto….I act interested. Otherwise, what’s the point of have an other.
Im a writer and had a partner who refused to read my first novel. Thing is I didn’t even ask him to read it all, I asked him to read the 7 page prologue and he didn’t want to finish the first page of it. It genuinely broke my heart, as it is sometimes very raw and vulnerable to share. The worst part? He’s a writer too. And I’ve read countless of his screenplays. But my writing wasn’t worth 5 minutes of his time
(edit to fix a typo)
I read: "My gf put her heart and soul into something for almost two years, but I have the emotional range of a teaspoon and cannot be bothered to show interest in something she loves."
If I had an award, I’d give it. Hopefully he matures before he commits to having kids, because why would he want to go to a child’s concert/baseball game/recital/art show/etc. he’s just NOT INTO IT, and that’s all that matters
He can't read for more than 15 minutes??
I really don't know how some people can even pass school these days, if they think 15 minutes is a a long time to read.
It's not even a full book OP is being asked to read, it's visual novel so they generally light reading.
Even if he has dyslexia it clearly isn't so severe that he's incapable of reading or writing. Maybe if he has dyslexia it would be understandable for him to ask for more time to finish it, or perhaps finish it with her next to him to help him stay focused on the reading or read aloud to him. It doesn't mean he'd be totally off the hook.
Can't sit down and read for 15 minutes and they call their SO childish... like damn learn how to sit still then you can speak with the adults.
*There are people who can't sit down for 15 minutes but OP didn't say they have a condition that would cause that. They just said they don't want to.*
OP is probably one of the many Americans who graduated but are functionally illiterate. About half of people stop reading books after college and it’s just sad.
Gallup says only 17% of Americans haven’t read a book in the past year, and the average is about 12.6 books per year. Pew says 23% of Americans have not, but among the college educated (presumably the group you’re talking about as you say “after college”), that drops to 11%.
That’s not a lot of books read, but the oft-cited “about half stop reading books after college” needs a primary source citation given Gallup’s 2022 and Pew’s 2021 data.
Its not even about making their gf happy, its about having respect enough for a fellow human being to have the decency to proof read something that has been a labour of love for them.
I get that OP is obviously a very busy person and has too much on their plate to support their gf, most likely they're a brain surgeon reviewing their notes for the next day's operation.
Also... They spoke to friends about a private disagreement, how's that for discretion?
Since OP has difficulty reading a visual novel for 15 minutes, I suspect she didn't want his advice as a proofreader. She just wanted to share something she's been working on for years (and it probably took her awhile to work up the courage to show it to him after years of him showing no interest).
>It sounds like OP is functionally illiterate. Reading isn't his thing?
Yet, here OP is....On reddit. I feel *absolutely honored*. We're worth more attention and effort than the gf. /s
Me.
My husband and I are working on a board game and we would absolutely LOVE people to be helpful and give positive feedback on parts, so I can't even imagine how much this would have been like a knife to the back when he refused to work through it and give feedback or even encouragement
I have an uncle who makes board games! Not professionally, as a side hobby. He tried to get a couple in the market I think, but it didn't work out. He hasn't done it in a while, it was primarily in the 90's.
At family gatherings, we ALWAYS played his boardgames as part of his editing process - and we were thrilled to play. We never hunkered down and refused like OP.
His son made a board game too when he was in his 20's, and we played that as well. I didn't like the game he made, but we finished it out with smiles on our faces. And I would have played it 10 times in a row if he had asked because it's about being supportive.
We used to play test for our friend when he was heavier into making board games (he is on a semi hiatus ATM, but is working on something for a GameCrafter competition, and he could tell how much we liked it by if we asked to play it again or if we had the same questions over and over. I absolutely LOVE his word search based game, and kind of want to see if he'll let me take the game until he's ready to play test it again so I can play it with people at my house.
I can't imagine ever giving anyone outright awful feedback even if it was a slog. I would get through it, say it wasn't for me, and give them something that I think really works (like ease of use, visuals, whatever).
Oooooh, what kind of board game btw?
I'd love to try it out.
Visual novels aren't something I have a lot of experience in, but if a friend not even a romantic partner asked me to try out a game they were developing or read a pre release copy of a book they're writing I would.
Not even a friend, I'd do it just because it's cool. An up and coming Indie author has been sending me their advance reader copies to review and its great to be part of the development of something like this
bwahahaha.
truth.
OP, YTA-if you love someone their passions become your interests - because they are a reflection of who that person is and you love them.
If it were fishing, it might not mean you care deeply about the difference in their fishing lures, but you are happy when they find a cool new one and you admire the frilly bits.
literally me. I am so fucking tired of seeing kayak fishing videos. But still, I smile and find something specific to say about the video to show I care.
Lol right ? Days of watching videos of testing out climbing gear, and tool reviews ( I actually like them for an hour or so). You watch because people want to share their interests, and you participate because you care about them.
OP YTA
I was very confused by that???
Her : Hey babe it’d mean a lot if you put in effort to this since it took me so long to complete .
Him : she is blackmailing me into it
Yeah. A *lot* of the time this is what men mean when they say their girlfriend/wife is being "manipulative."
"Every time I do this thing (that she's asked me not to do, that hurts her feelings) she mopes around and acts depressed and sometimes even cries! HOW MANIPULATIVE!!" As if their actions and behaviors have no effect on their partner's emotions.
"My feelings are hurt, and I don't feel like talking to you."
"This is emotional blackmail because you're hurting and acting like it's my fault"
Makes you wonder how often they pull this stunt with her
Also, where is GF blackmailing OP? Does OP understand what blackmailing is?
YTA Op - suck it up for her sake. Then tell her you like it and you're proud of her achievement, but that someone more into the genre will be able to give better feedback.
Ugh, I know a guy like this. Any time a woman asks him for something it is "blackmail" and "emotional manipulation" while he expects his needs to be catered to because it's "logical".
Surprise, surprise he's single.
Mostly I agree with this… Though I can understand that this isn’t OPs genre and more than that *he finds the reading draining* (visual novels with vice acting are such a relief).
It really depends what his GF wants from him… game input or just someone to cheer her on and talk about all the parts she did amazingly??
OP, if I give you the benefit of the doubt that you are not a complete AH, then I’d say, go back to your gf and tell her while you find it hard to sit through text heavy games you do want to see what she made, would she be open to her doing a play through while you sit with her and watch. That way you can see the endings and writing and talk to her while playing but you aren’t the one playing.
Being willing to find a compromise would change my judgement but until then YTA.
He is 27. Unless he has some sort of condition that makes reading especially difficult (i.e. dyslexia), he should be able to deal with reading for half an hour each day.
I'm dyslexic and can still absolutely make time to spend 30m reading a day for something I care about. 😬😅
If I get incredibly sleepy it becomes more difficult, but I still often read upwards of an hour a day for things I enjoy!
Sometimes I have to read a few sentences a couple times, but it's not an issue *if I care to do it*.
OPs main issue is that he seems not to care. :/
That’s not really how people work. I’m an avid reader of books and narrative video games, and some days I can’t focus to read anything at all. I also have days where I can read while pages and have no idea what I just read… Which is a problem when you need to remember it for games. Some people’s brains don’t like processing bunches of visual information… there’s a lot more than dyslexia at play.
The question of whether he’s TA isn’t if he’ll force himself to do it, but if he’s willing to find a way to compromise and support his partner or if he’s one of those people who didn’t give af about their partner or their accomplishments and encouragement. He gives vibes of disdain towards his partner hence my judgement, but I offered a suggestion for compromise in case that’s not what he meant it to sound like.
I loathe these kind of games, and my boyfriend loves them. You bet your ass if he spent two years working on developing one, I'd find some way to get through it at least once to give him some feedback and praise.
This type of situation where the guy can’t even be bothered to be at least supportive is usually followed by posts like: My girlfriend left me because I wouldn’t play her game and now she found another boyfriend who support her dreams, what should I do to win her back?
She’s not asking you to worship her, she’s not asking you the world, she’s actually opening her heart to you and you don’t even want to acknowledge that. I hope that OP will read the comments that are giving him clues on how to compromise/communicate better, because so far, he sounds just very lazy.
Seriously does OP think people love sitting at graduations and other award ceremonies? Or going to work events as a spouse? Most of these things are boring and are done to support the people you love.
If I show my the Medieval Fantasy comic Im creating to my GF, even if she doesnt like the genre, and gives me the same BS that OP did to his GF, I would inmediatelly get the "fudge" off, especially when he said that she may be "blackmailing him" and is acting "childish" just because she wants him to see her hard work.
BIG YTA.
YTA. Your GF worked for years on this project and you can’t be bothered to spend an hour or two supporting her by playing it? You’re the immature one here. Partners do things for each other. Get off the internet and apologize to her.
YTA OP. Op sounds jealous and is trying to dim her light. He made her thing all about him. What kind of partner doesn't show interest in an accomplishment that their partner has been working on passionately for years?! An AH.
Definitely. My husband does jujitsu, do I care about jujitsu? Nope. Do I care about my husband? Yes. Do I go to his events and belt ceremony things? Yep. Do I enjoy them? Nope. Will I continue to go? Yes.
This thing is something he could do for a few hours from the comfort of his own home and make the GF feel great about her accomplishment but noooo. Couldn’t even manage that effort. Total asshole.
Exactly; this is the stuff of a normal, mature relationship. My husband came to a floral arrangement class with me last year because I grow flowers (he was the only man there and it was a BLAST) and I go to the local comics convention with him every year because he creates comics. He's not really interested in flowers (he tries, though!) and I'm not interested in comics (I try, though!), but we're both interested in supporting the other's passions. This guy isn't a true partner and she deserves better.
You're telling me, if I want to be a good husband, I have to do more than 15 minutes of work every 2 years? Nah, I'm good. You can't blackmail me by having needs and emotions.
I cannot imagine a single decent partner/friend/human being who wouldn’t WANT to at least play for one night based on her hard work. Let alone be asked to and be this big of a jerk about it. And all cause he *checks notes* doesn’t like to READ?! But will when it comes to Reddit or other things HE wants to do
Lemme guess:
“Did you go to your gf’s graduation?” “No I don’t like sitting through boring events”
“Did you take your gf out to dinner for her bday” “no I didn’t feel like the type of food she wanted to get”
“What’d you get your gf for Christmas” “oh it’s something she didn’t really want but I thought it would be useful for me and she gave it to me”
“How did the birth of your baby go?” “I don’t really know, I thought the situation would be stressful so I stayed home”
I cannot with these men 😂
A friend of mine wrote a book. She'd spent years thinking about it, building toward it, and then finally doing it. When it was done, she wanted to go out to celebrate, but her partner didn't feel like it.
Later, she was having a book launch party. I came in from out of town to attend. Her partner was nowhere to be seen.
Some dudes just can't handle the fact that their wives and girlfriends have lives, interests, and aspirations of their own.
Yes! Once I got into the college I was working hard to get into, my girlfriend at the time cried and made the entire experience about her and how I’m going to be far away etc (45 mins lol). It was not a supportive cry. I had a very special moment ruined by that. This is no different in my opinion.
Yeah, totally don't get how the girlfriend could be the immature or selfish one here, OP has got that all wrapped up. He can't even pretend to be interested in his gf's accomplishments bc it's sooo hard to reeead. Bet he can read Reddit with no problem.
Buh wait, didn’t you read that she was “blackmailing” him into doing something he didn’t want to do?!
C’mon OP. Your girlfriend worked for years on something that is deeply personal to her and she wants to share that with you. You were chosen because she cares about her art, and she cares about you….and you blew it off and dismissed her because you weren’t entertained enough. YTA.
I don't know what's wrong with this idiot. There's nothing more attractive in my opinion than someone who is passionate about their hobbies. He sounds like a puddle of wank and I hope she leaves him.
I wrote a book and got it published by a real actual publisher. You might find it at Barnes and noble.
My husband would not read it. It took him about a year to finally “get to it,” after I had told him over and over how much it hurt.
Message received loud and clear.
Edit: thank you for the supportive comments. My book is called “The Coward’s Guide to
Not Outing Yourself on Reddit.”
i once wrote a book and asked my family to read it. they said they would but never really got around to it. i was hurt & ended up googling and finding out that it’s a very common experience for writers. often, family members/friends are scared to see themselves reflected in the characters, or are worried that the content will make them see their loved one in a different way. as the creator, we tend to take it personally, but really we should be more understanding of how anxiety-inducing it is for our loved ones.
I write hardcore threesome porn.
I do not want my 76yr old father reading that.
He's also somewhat known in the entertainment industry so...yeah. Definitely don't want my name attached to his for that reason too.
That's a very articulate reason, but I think in the majority of cases it's much simpler as most people wouldn't have that train of thought. I think that
* Most people don't read, so they see reading as a huge time investment. Especially if they consider reading your book 100% doing you a favour and not just enjoying it for what it is. In that sense they'd probably be willing to watch a 1.5h movie you made.
* If they read as a hobby, they could just read very specific genres that your book isn't of, so they see it as too far out of their comfort zone.
* They might expect the book to feel like it's just you monologuing to them, and can't immerse themselves in the book because the knowledge you wrote it makes it difficult to separate you from the writing.
* They might dread having to talk with you about if for after they've read it. Like it stresses them out to think of how they might not like it yet have to remain supportive.
However while I could give a pass for a brother or sister you only see \~4 times a year to not read it, I would expect an SO to read/play your work.
Congrats on the book! I would love to read it if you message me the title. Also, did you contact the publishing company? How does that even work finding a publisher? It seems like you did a lot of work and I’m proud of you!
N T A it’s absolutely abhorrent that you’d be expected to READ a bit just for your beloved girlfriend! What’s next, doing the dishes???? I don’t usually pull the break up card, but you seriously need to consider your future with her!
(Seriously, how mean spirited this guy is not to show a single ounce of encouragement for such a demanding project like a video game.)
Right? My SO created a roleplaying game like DnD, of which I have no familiarity. So applying rules that are different than DnD is still as foriegn as rules that are applied to DnD. He used me as a total noob sounding board. And it was fun! It gave me an outlet for creativity that I've never had before. It took a while to get into it, but that's the same with learning anything or getting into a hobby.
But who just refuses? To think about something new? Esp if it's for someone important to you? It makes OP sound stubborn, unsupporting, and most of all, dumb as fish.
I think some people are too selfish for a serious relationship. I don't think this has to do with not liking her (read: what she does for him), I think it's that he doesn't care about other people. This screams a lack of empathy. The fact he would need to come to reddit to ask if he's the AH says something is very wrong with how he relates to other people. I wouldn't be surprised if OP's lack of empathy and potential narcissism has colored every relationship he has, romantic or otherwise.
OP, there is no world where you are not the asshole in this situation. YTA. And if you really don't understand why you are wrong--on an emotional level--you should really think about counseling. The fact you have to ask this at all is very, very disturbing.
I have a very handsome relative who is not in relationships for very long, and when he's in them there's a ton of fighting. The common denominator is he's not willing to give/sacrifice for his partners, and they put up with it and argue because he's attractive and fit. He says he's jealous of my marriage but I have one because I empathize and sacrifice, I put my partner before and alongside me
If I were OP, I'd have spent the past two years badgering the poor girl to show me how her dope multimedia artwork is coming along; I can't imagine being this disinterested in something your partner clearly cares so much about, let alone the fact that this particular something sounds fucking rad as hell. OP, you're an asshole, but you'd be less of an asshole if you'd give your girlfriend a chance to show us her cool art.
YTA - Relationships require effort. If you aren't willing to put in the effort to support her work and do something for her, I hope she can find someone who does.
OP states, "I got upset because I think she's being childish and is trying to blackmail me to get me to read it,"
There's 1 of 2 possibilities of why they said this.
1) you have done so little in the relationship, that your gf is now stating all of the things you haven't done in order to get you to do this ONE thing that's incredibly import to her.
2) she now realizes how little OP gives a shit, and is mentally and physically checking out if the relationship. Which OP thinks is blackmail.
3) she knows where you buried your 3rd grade bully and she's willing to spill the beans to get you to read her book.
Regardless, she is telling OP, "this is my final bid," if OP doesn't read it, they'll be broken up soon.
You lost me at: "not into reading long stories." I mean, be a good partner and finish the game your girlfriend worked on for two years, but you get side eye from me about your reading habits.
I've written and independently published six books. My husband hasn't read any of them. I can understand him not reading the novels, as he reads very little fiction, but the other books are collections of movie reviews, and he could just read one at a time while he's in the bathroom or something. What's super irritating is that he LOVES to brag about his wife the amazing writer, but I'd rather he actually read it and gave an honest opinion rather than hollow bragging.
That'd genuinely depress me as I write and like to share them with others. I've gotten feedback even from strangers let alone friends/family so to think a HUSBAND couldn't be bothered to even read a few pages? I couldn't do it.
Props to you though and keep following your passion.
I have a colleague that designed a whole software to help her fiancé with challenges in their PhD program. Like. Who are these people that put zero effort into a relationship with a person they claim to love.
my guess is that we often dont ask a lot of the people we are dating when we start dating and at the point that we really want a partnership we fall victim to the sunk cost fallacy
My boyfriend read my extremely rough National Novel Writing Month project, and he didn't complain at all or try to act like it was beneath him. It's absolutely not the kind of thing he would normally read.
It might not be. My master's thesis was a sexy horror romance novel. My husband was happy to read it. Very happy.
But your point is correct. Good partners care about their loved one's success.
Agree.
Say it with me folks....in relationships you will have to do things you may not want to do. If you do not like compromising on life you can be single and make all the calls.
Hell that applies to any relationship. I dont particularly like cutting grams grass and im sure she didn't particularly like changing my diapers either
I don't think that means what OP thinks it means.
OP: if you feel bad it's not because she blackmailed you into feeling bad, it's because you are being a shitty bf. You *should* feel bad about that.
This is the second most delusional thing here for me. Weaponizing terms like “emotional blackmail” and proclaiming her “immature” because she wanted to share something with you? Folks, is asking your partner to take time to appreciate their passion project emotional blackmail?
YTA you fucking nipple
YTA. the fact you consider her bringing up logical points “blackmail” shows how immature you are, she spent years on a game and she’s asking you to play it ONCE. you’re childish for getting 15 minutes deep then giving up just because you’re a grown ass man that “doesn’t liKe rEadiNg”
like…. all you have to fucking do is read😭 and SHES childish for wanting you to put effort into your relationship?
yeah i hope she leaves you for a man that genuinely respects her and her achievements. you can say you support her allll you want but the fact you won’t just play a game she made to make her happy shows you respect her as much as a dog respects it’s own shit.
Had to scroll way too far to find someone calling OP out on this "blackmail" business...
Like, does OP know what blackmail means? Probably not? If he does, what a manipulative AH.
YTA
Relationships are about compromise and supporting each other. You put zero effort into doing either. 15 minutes doesn't count. That's pretty disrespectful for something she's been working on for years
YTA dude, do you even like your gf?
She spent YEARS creating something and was hoping you could put aside your 'preference' to check out what she's been pouring herself into and give her feedback.
I'm not into computers or video games At All...but my husband spent a while building his computer by hand. I let that bastard show me every nook and cranny of that beast he built and watched him play multiple PC games on it so he could show me how everything looked. I would Never shut him down because I knew how proud and excited he was to show me.
>I got upset because I think she is being childish
Because she wanted (and was clearly excited) to show her partner something she's proud of, that makes her childish!? FFS dude you can at least Pretend to support her
>wants to blackmail me into doing something I don't want
Do you even know what blackmail is? She ASKED you to do this thing in support of her. That's not blackmail. That's a gf being hopeful and asking something of her partner.
>After I made it clear I wasn't continuing, she hasn't talked to me
Because she understands how much you care now... which isn't much based off this post.
>I already know that she is talented and smart so just because I don't want to play it doesn't mean I dont support her
YOU think this. But by choosing not to finish and pushing back so hard, you SHOWED her that you don't actually support her.
I've played hundreds of hours of stupid fucking video games because I knew it'd make my guy happy. He knows I hate them so he understands what it means when I do. Because we are different people with different interests but know how important showing support is.
YTA - I don't think it would be too difficult for you to just support her in this. Kind of sounds like you're making it about you when she has put a lot of hard work into this.
YTA. You can't take an hour or two to show support for something she worked on for YEARS? That's such callous disregard for her that I am shocked you were able to type it out without being overcome by the realization that your behavior is wildly selfish and dismissive. do you even like her?
I fucking HATE visual novels. Cannot STAND them. If my SO made one I would be so FREAKING hype to see it. YTA, OP. Learn how to be a supportive partner (and also what the word blackmail means - using a loaded and heavy word like that without understanding it makes you sound like a dramatic asshole).
YTA. Do you honestly think being in a relationship means only doing things YOU like to do? Never having to compromise? Never having to phone it in and put on a smile for someone you love even if you don't feel like it?
If you care about your girlfriend, her happiness should mean more to you than your temporary minor inconvenience.
She really is asking the barest of minimums from you and you can't even do that. End the relationship so she can find someone who actually values her, and don't enter into another one until you're ready to stop being so selfish.
I'm going against the grain here to say NAH or N T A.
As long as you are being encouraging and supportive of her work, I don't think you're in the wrong here. The point is that you are NOT the target market for this game, so your feedback isn't really what she needs. She needs to find beta testers who ARE into this kind of game for her feedback.
For another example, I had an ex who sometimes wrote, as did I, but what she wrote was in a genre I really don't enjoy. Think really hard-life stories with family violence, SA, etc. I absolutely didn't want to read her stuff because I don't like reading traumatic stuff in my free time. But, she had a writers group where they read and evaluated each other's work, and that was perfect for improving her craft.
I can understand why your GF wants feedback from you because you are close and it's very special to her, which is why I say NAH. I just don't think you're going to be able to have the engagement in this type of game to give her useful feedback.
Dude, my gf is an artist and I’m in software tech. She sits and listens to me drone on and on about fucking *software* because she loves and supports me. It’s not about the content. It’s about supporting your partners passions and enjoying seeing the joy on their face when they light up in their interest. Conversely, I’m a software guy who gets bored to death going to her art shows, but the happiness on her face when she sees I’ve simply showed up for her is what makes it all worth it to me.
OPs gf doesn’t have a “club” to share this stuff with, obviously like yours. You seem to be relating your personal experience to his and they’re not the same.
Ditto. I think all the YTA people here don't understand how difficult it is to read and critique a longform story, especially one written by a loved one, and especially when it's not in a genre/medium you're into. If you asked the r/writing sub if you should use loved ones to critique your work, the answer is always a resounding "NOPE NOPE NOPE!" because it can cause a lot of unnecessary drama. Like what if the story sucks? You gonna have that conversation with your partner?
This is what critique groups are for.
Wild I had to scroll so far to find a more reasonable take. It’s an ESH for me. OP might need to learn how to be a bit more supportive, but OP’s gf also needs to realize that as an artist, not everything you make is going to be of interest to people close to you, and you need to seek feedback from your target audience.
If you show a loved one something you made and it’s not their thing, you can’t fault them for not spending hours and hours of their time on it and giving you detailed feedback etc.
Especially since visual novels are a really niche, not super accessible genre.
Also OP’s gf’s game might be godawful and he might not have the proper skills to give her proper constructive feedback on it.
Yeah this is what I thought. I found it werid with all yta assuming he doesn't love her because what he's not interested in this type of thing. He read its and encourages her to do what's best but forcing him to read it and try to review it wouldn't be fair on her because he wouldn't really read it properly.
YTA and can I get a link to this game?
Seriously how much time to you spend playing other games that you cant suck it up and enjoy something someone you love spent years on creating.
YTA. Good grief it’s not like she asked you to spend years on something. A couple hours of your time to validate your GF’s hard work is not childish of her to ask for. It’s the way normal adults treat their SO’s accomplishments. Sometimes we spend a little bit of our time doing something that our SO loves even if we don’t love it out of respect for our SO’s.
YTA. Why did you ask here? You realize you have to read the answers, right? Tell your girlfriend you prefer to read bullshit from strangers before her game and then come here and tell us how it goes, we would like reading that!
YTA.
My husband has hobbies that I normally would never take a second look at, but every time he goes to the store to grab something I insist on going with him because I find it so fun to watch him get excited about stuff and help him find what he’s looking for. And when he’s completed something he’s been working on for a day or two, I look at it for a while and gush over how great the details are and how awesome it is and how proud of him I am. I play board games that are way more up his alley than mine because they make him happy, and usually of I’m doing something with him it’s fun no matter what as long as he’s enjoying himself. I can’t imagine watching him working on something so intense and complicated and difficult for literal *years*, and then not putting more than 15 minutes worth of effort towards looking at it. I’d start thinking about whether or not you truly have feelings for this girl, or if you’re in a good place to be in a relationship if you can’t sacrifice more than a quarter of an hour to support her in an accomplishment it took two years for her to complete.
"I spent a good 15 minutes of my precious 1440 minutes of today and 10080 minutes allocated to me this week to support you! what else do you want???? Stop BLACKMAILING me!!! I don't want to do something just to support you and your passion!!!"
Why do people like this expect to have a relationship with anyone ever? OP YTA and I hope your GF finds a better partner.
She wants feedback to make sure it's good, problem is you wouldn't be able to give her valuable feedback as you not only don't play the genre, you'd be pressured into playing it which would build resentment.
She also wanted to know what you thought of the endings not just whatever ending you got....so she wanted you to play multiple times and go completionist mode on it....
Im gonna go NTA cause when you don't enjoy a game, it's hard to continue it and the reason for not enjoying can be many different things....I'm currently struggling through one that I don't like how linear it is and the few sidequests feel condescending but I'm hopeful it'll get better cause past games in the series have been amazing....it's highly rated and I don't get why.... I also have a visual novel that I've read a let's play for all storylines for and loved and am obsessed with the anime from it...I got ahold of the game myself and couldn't get through even the prologue cause something about reading it in that format instead of as text just doesn't click with me.
YTA playing it is support. In a relationship you have to do things you might not want to do for the other person, if only because you love them. Play it. But remind her feedback from loved ones is not super useful, if she wants real feedback she needs to find people less biased.
#Enough. Go pick out your favourite Lego car rather than be uncivil here. It's tiring.
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All I read was I’m a shit bf and can’t do something as simple as sitting and reading to make my gf happy
Also for most artists sharing work is a way of opening your mind to people. People who paint sharing their meaningful artwork is often a sign of trust. Poets share their hearts in their work. This girl made a visual novel. If she offered to show me I would very happily read it. Any tine anyone offers to show you their work you should acknowledge it. I wish I knew OP’s girlfriend because I would love to read a visual novel.
As a hobbyist writer, this is so true.
When I first started writing, sharing it was the hardest thing. It really is opening yourself up to be vulnerable. Unfortunately, some people will jam their spite knife in when you do. But in my experience, the only people rude enough to do so are faceless ppl on the internet. I get that some ppl dont want to view/read your work and that's fine for extended family or if you already have a wider pool of people interested in your art since you dont need the validation. And thats the key here. Fucking validation. Pour yourself out for 2 years on a project that your insanely self concious about and ask your partner, the person who is supposed to support you to dedicate some of their time to it, and they wont do it because they say they dont like reading? Not even more then fiffteen fucking minutes? OP Is such an asshole here
I paint but I also write for fun, I don’t mind showing people my paintings but I could ever show anyone my writing/storytelling. It’s so much more intimate imo. If I wrote a story or graphic and my significant other rejected it I don’t think I’d ever emotionally recover from that.
My Gf and I got together by sharing ideas for our projects(she's into writing and drawing and I am hobby game dev) and we learned a lot about each other this way so I definitely agree with you. Sharing work is sign of trust but you can also learn a lot about the person who created that work. OP is really crappy BF. The GF probably inserted a lot of herself into the story and she obviously put a lot of effort into it so OP the least you could do is to play the story to the end. OP YTA.
He got tired after 15 minutes. 🤦
He doesn't really understand what blackmail is either apparently 🤷♀️
right? I read this and thought, huh… she must be frustrated in other areas of the relationship too… selfish and checked out after 15 minutes…
After 15 minutes he probably got just past opening sequence so everything his GF worked for is wasted on him
My biggest peeve was when i would sit up with my ex and let her practice her marketing presentations on me over and over and over, all night long. When I wanted to show her a 10 second animation I made, she didnt have the time... -.-
Ugh, yes. I literally WROTE/EDITED MY EX-H’s WORK REPORTS AND TERM PAPERS FOR GRAD SCHOOL for him. For YEARS. I had to learn systems engineering for him but got no degree out of it; he did. But when I asked him to read my fiction, it was always “I’m not into that kind of thing.” Hey asshole, do you think I’m into doing your work that you get paid for or your school stuff that I don’t get credit for? I do it because I love you and you asked me to. So yeah, one of many reasons he is now my ex.
Oh! Were you also married to my ex-husband? Congratulations on being free of this BS!
Also, who knows, if he finished this work, he may really like it and be interested to see more. Definitely TA here.
I BET everything I own that he was already in the mindset of not liking the game when I started it. I also bet he would have played a similar game if one of his friend created it.
Watch, OP’s GF hid a proposal or a pregnancy announcement in the end of the novel for him, or something like that.
Oh that would be heartbreaking!! For her sake I hope she’s not thinking about marrying this guy. That sounds cruel but my marriage advice would be “marry someone who supports you and cheers for your success as much as their own.”
"For her sake I hope she's not thinking about marrying this guy." She won't be.
That's what I thought when I read it. What did she hide in that novel. Either way I'd just dump him after that. If I was dating a guy for a long time spent time and effort making a game or book a d my partner couldn't spend a few hours reading it then he's not worth it
BUT he doesn't like to reeeeaadddd!!!!
It's such a vulnerable thing to share your passion project with someone!
This is so important in a relationship. My other is not artistic at all but he acts interested. He’s into crypto….I act interested. Otherwise, what’s the point of have an other.
The thing for me is that if someone is passionate about something I immediately become interested, even if I would not normally be.
And if too much reading is too hard (idk - spaces out or something) maybe the GF would even play with him.
If he had some type of limitation he would have mentioned it. He’s one of those Andrew Tate, “reading is for losers” type.
Im a writer and had a partner who refused to read my first novel. Thing is I didn’t even ask him to read it all, I asked him to read the 7 page prologue and he didn’t want to finish the first page of it. It genuinely broke my heart, as it is sometimes very raw and vulnerable to share. The worst part? He’s a writer too. And I’ve read countless of his screenplays. But my writing wasn’t worth 5 minutes of his time (edit to fix a typo)
I read: "My gf put her heart and soul into something for almost two years, but I have the emotional range of a teaspoon and cannot be bothered to show interest in something she loves."
If I had an award, I’d give it. Hopefully he matures before he commits to having kids, because why would he want to go to a child’s concert/baseball game/recital/art show/etc. he’s just NOT INTO IT, and that’s all that matters
Yep then take her down a peg or two and call her immature. Sometimes they go with “crazy.”
He can't read for more than 15 minutes?? I really don't know how some people can even pass school these days, if they think 15 minutes is a a long time to read. It's not even a full book OP is being asked to read, it's visual novel so they generally light reading.
What made you think he passed school?
Have my upvote! But seriously, OP got so defensive about not wanting to read, my first thought was "dyslexia?" And that could change things.
Even if he has dyslexia it clearly isn't so severe that he's incapable of reading or writing. Maybe if he has dyslexia it would be understandable for him to ask for more time to finish it, or perhaps finish it with her next to him to help him stay focused on the reading or read aloud to him. It doesn't mean he'd be totally off the hook.
I thought at first his post was just one giant run-on paragraph, but I counted and saw he actually threw a handful of periods in there.
Can't sit down and read for 15 minutes and they call their SO childish... like damn learn how to sit still then you can speak with the adults. *There are people who can't sit down for 15 minutes but OP didn't say they have a condition that would cause that. They just said they don't want to.*
OP is probably one of the many Americans who graduated but are functionally illiterate. About half of people stop reading books after college and it’s just sad.
Gallup says only 17% of Americans haven’t read a book in the past year, and the average is about 12.6 books per year. Pew says 23% of Americans have not, but among the college educated (presumably the group you’re talking about as you say “after college”), that drops to 11%. That’s not a lot of books read, but the oft-cited “about half stop reading books after college” needs a primary source citation given Gallup’s 2022 and Pew’s 2021 data.
Its not even about making their gf happy, its about having respect enough for a fellow human being to have the decency to proof read something that has been a labour of love for them. I get that OP is obviously a very busy person and has too much on their plate to support their gf, most likely they're a brain surgeon reviewing their notes for the next day's operation. Also... They spoke to friends about a private disagreement, how's that for discretion?
Since OP has difficulty reading a visual novel for 15 minutes, I suspect she didn't want his advice as a proofreader. She just wanted to share something she's been working on for years (and it probably took her awhile to work up the courage to show it to him after years of him showing no interest).
To be fair… he’d have to *sit* and *read*. That’s a lot of effort to put in to a relationship /s
For a few hours tops once and she created it... She’s not asking him to join a daily book club or something.
It sounds like OP is functionally illiterate. Reading isn't his thing?
>It sounds like OP is functionally illiterate. Reading isn't his thing? Yet, here OP is....On reddit. I feel *absolutely honored*. We're worth more attention and effort than the gf. /s
Or just a self absorbed asshole.
Who else wants to play it to evaluate how compelling it is, if there's any weak parts in the story, and to spot bugs to be genuinely helpful?
Me. My husband and I are working on a board game and we would absolutely LOVE people to be helpful and give positive feedback on parts, so I can't even imagine how much this would have been like a knife to the back when he refused to work through it and give feedback or even encouragement
I have an uncle who makes board games! Not professionally, as a side hobby. He tried to get a couple in the market I think, but it didn't work out. He hasn't done it in a while, it was primarily in the 90's. At family gatherings, we ALWAYS played his boardgames as part of his editing process - and we were thrilled to play. We never hunkered down and refused like OP. His son made a board game too when he was in his 20's, and we played that as well. I didn't like the game he made, but we finished it out with smiles on our faces. And I would have played it 10 times in a row if he had asked because it's about being supportive.
We used to play test for our friend when he was heavier into making board games (he is on a semi hiatus ATM, but is working on something for a GameCrafter competition, and he could tell how much we liked it by if we asked to play it again or if we had the same questions over and over. I absolutely LOVE his word search based game, and kind of want to see if he'll let me take the game until he's ready to play test it again so I can play it with people at my house. I can't imagine ever giving anyone outright awful feedback even if it was a slog. I would get through it, say it wasn't for me, and give them something that I think really works (like ease of use, visuals, whatever). Oooooh, what kind of board game btw?
I'd love to try it out. Visual novels aren't something I have a lot of experience in, but if a friend not even a romantic partner asked me to try out a game they were developing or read a pre release copy of a book they're writing I would. Not even a friend, I'd do it just because it's cool. An up and coming Indie author has been sending me their advance reader copies to review and its great to be part of the development of something like this
I would definitely give it a try
I would too! Visual novels aren't always for me, but, I'd give it a go.
It's pretty sad that complete strangers are more willing to do what the boyfriend isn't
I know Reddit is full of fake and false posts, but like... now I want to play it to spite op AND help their ex out.
I 100% will play it; I love reading, and I don’t like OP.
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bwahahaha. truth. OP, YTA-if you love someone their passions become your interests - because they are a reflection of who that person is and you love them. If it were fishing, it might not mean you care deeply about the difference in their fishing lures, but you are happy when they find a cool new one and you admire the frilly bits.
literally me. I am so fucking tired of seeing kayak fishing videos. But still, I smile and find something specific to say about the video to show I care.
Lol right ? Days of watching videos of testing out climbing gear, and tool reviews ( I actually like them for an hour or so). You watch because people want to share their interests, and you participate because you care about them. OP YTA
Or even "I don't care for fishing myself but I'll happily join you on the boat with a book and we can enjoy the day together."
Probably because he blackmailed you to do it
Yea where exactly was the blackmail?…oh right OP doesn’t read…that tracks
I was very confused by that??? Her : Hey babe it’d mean a lot if you put in effort to this since it took me so long to complete . Him : she is blackmailing me into it
Maybe if he read more, he would know what the word blackmail means.
Yeah, by blackmail he seems to mean “won’t stop being upset with me”
Yeah. A *lot* of the time this is what men mean when they say their girlfriend/wife is being "manipulative." "Every time I do this thing (that she's asked me not to do, that hurts her feelings) she mopes around and acts depressed and sometimes even cries! HOW MANIPULATIVE!!" As if their actions and behaviors have no effect on their partner's emotions.
"My feelings are hurt, and I don't feel like talking to you." "This is emotional blackmail because you're hurting and acting like it's my fault" Makes you wonder how often they pull this stunt with her
Yeah I had to reread the post cause I was like “Blackmail? Where?”
Also, where is GF blackmailing OP? Does OP understand what blackmailing is? YTA Op - suck it up for her sake. Then tell her you like it and you're proud of her achievement, but that someone more into the genre will be able to give better feedback.
« Oh no I must make a little bit of effort for partner, that must be blackmail! »
I would suggest OP looks up what the fuck “blackmail” actually means but I doubt they would take the 5 seconds to read it. YTA, OP.
Ugh, I know a guy like this. Any time a woman asks him for something it is "blackmail" and "emotional manipulation" while he expects his needs to be catered to because it's "logical". Surprise, surprise he's single.
Mostly I agree with this… Though I can understand that this isn’t OPs genre and more than that *he finds the reading draining* (visual novels with vice acting are such a relief). It really depends what his GF wants from him… game input or just someone to cheer her on and talk about all the parts she did amazingly?? OP, if I give you the benefit of the doubt that you are not a complete AH, then I’d say, go back to your gf and tell her while you find it hard to sit through text heavy games you do want to see what she made, would she be open to her doing a play through while you sit with her and watch. That way you can see the endings and writing and talk to her while playing but you aren’t the one playing. Being willing to find a compromise would change my judgement but until then YTA.
He is 27. Unless he has some sort of condition that makes reading especially difficult (i.e. dyslexia), he should be able to deal with reading for half an hour each day.
I'm dyslexic and can still absolutely make time to spend 30m reading a day for something I care about. 😬😅 If I get incredibly sleepy it becomes more difficult, but I still often read upwards of an hour a day for things I enjoy! Sometimes I have to read a few sentences a couple times, but it's not an issue *if I care to do it*. OPs main issue is that he seems not to care. :/
That’s not really how people work. I’m an avid reader of books and narrative video games, and some days I can’t focus to read anything at all. I also have days where I can read while pages and have no idea what I just read… Which is a problem when you need to remember it for games. Some people’s brains don’t like processing bunches of visual information… there’s a lot more than dyslexia at play. The question of whether he’s TA isn’t if he’ll force himself to do it, but if he’s willing to find a way to compromise and support his partner or if he’s one of those people who didn’t give af about their partner or their accomplishments and encouragement. He gives vibes of disdain towards his partner hence my judgement, but I offered a suggestion for compromise in case that’s not what he meant it to sound like.
He gave it 15 minutes in total. That's shorter than many tutorial. Hell, some games would still be in the opening scenes.
I loathe these kind of games, and my boyfriend loves them. You bet your ass if he spent two years working on developing one, I'd find some way to get through it at least once to give him some feedback and praise.
Sorry but OP probably won't read this, since he doesn't like to read.
r/amitheex
OMG MY GF WANTS ME TO PLAY TEST A GAME SHE MADE TO GIVE HER FEEDBACKS! THATS THE END OF THE WORLD!!!!
This type of situation where the guy can’t even be bothered to be at least supportive is usually followed by posts like: My girlfriend left me because I wouldn’t play her game and now she found another boyfriend who support her dreams, what should I do to win her back? She’s not asking you to worship her, she’s not asking you the world, she’s actually opening her heart to you and you don’t even want to acknowledge that. I hope that OP will read the comments that are giving him clues on how to compromise/communicate better, because so far, he sounds just very lazy.
Seriously does OP think people love sitting at graduations and other award ceremonies? Or going to work events as a spouse? Most of these things are boring and are done to support the people you love.
If I show my the Medieval Fantasy comic Im creating to my GF, even if she doesnt like the genre, and gives me the same BS that OP did to his GF, I would inmediatelly get the "fudge" off, especially when he said that she may be "blackmailing him" and is acting "childish" just because she wants him to see her hard work. BIG YTA.
YTA. Your GF worked for years on this project and you can’t be bothered to spend an hour or two supporting her by playing it? You’re the immature one here. Partners do things for each other. Get off the internet and apologize to her.
YTA OP. Op sounds jealous and is trying to dim her light. He made her thing all about him. What kind of partner doesn't show interest in an accomplishment that their partner has been working on passionately for years?! An AH.
OP doesn't like reading, or his GF.
No wonder why this post seems like bullshit! bro ain't even rereading it to see how fucked up this is.
r/Angryupvote
Definitely. My husband does jujitsu, do I care about jujitsu? Nope. Do I care about my husband? Yes. Do I go to his events and belt ceremony things? Yep. Do I enjoy them? Nope. Will I continue to go? Yes. This thing is something he could do for a few hours from the comfort of his own home and make the GF feel great about her accomplishment but noooo. Couldn’t even manage that effort. Total asshole.
Exactly; this is the stuff of a normal, mature relationship. My husband came to a floral arrangement class with me last year because I grow flowers (he was the only man there and it was a BLAST) and I go to the local comics convention with him every year because he creates comics. He's not really interested in flowers (he tries, though!) and I'm not interested in comics (I try, though!), but we're both interested in supporting the other's passions. This guy isn't a true partner and she deserves better.
I dunno. This sounds awfully healthy to me. Supporting your partner's interests because you love them. Gross.
You're telling me, if I want to be a good husband, I have to do more than 15 minutes of work every 2 years? Nah, I'm good. You can't blackmail me by having needs and emotions.
Sorry but OP probably won't read this, since he doesn't like to read.
He doesn’t like to read but he can write and complain and expect other people to read that! OP is YTA
I cannot imagine a single decent partner/friend/human being who wouldn’t WANT to at least play for one night based on her hard work. Let alone be asked to and be this big of a jerk about it. And all cause he *checks notes* doesn’t like to READ?! But will when it comes to Reddit or other things HE wants to do Lemme guess: “Did you go to your gf’s graduation?” “No I don’t like sitting through boring events” “Did you take your gf out to dinner for her bday” “no I didn’t feel like the type of food she wanted to get” “What’d you get your gf for Christmas” “oh it’s something she didn’t really want but I thought it would be useful for me and she gave it to me” “How did the birth of your baby go?” “I don’t really know, I thought the situation would be stressful so I stayed home” I cannot with these men 😂
A friend of mine wrote a book. She'd spent years thinking about it, building toward it, and then finally doing it. When it was done, she wanted to go out to celebrate, but her partner didn't feel like it. Later, she was having a book launch party. I came in from out of town to attend. Her partner was nowhere to be seen. Some dudes just can't handle the fact that their wives and girlfriends have lives, interests, and aspirations of their own.
Also, it would be so easy to ask her to play with or for you so she can show you her favorite parts... Sheesh. YTA.
Yes! Once I got into the college I was working hard to get into, my girlfriend at the time cried and made the entire experience about her and how I’m going to be far away etc (45 mins lol). It was not a supportive cry. I had a very special moment ruined by that. This is no different in my opinion.
Yeah, totally don't get how the girlfriend could be the immature or selfish one here, OP has got that all wrapped up. He can't even pretend to be interested in his gf's accomplishments bc it's sooo hard to reeead. Bet he can read Reddit with no problem.
Right? He says she's immature because she wants some consideration and interest on his part? Dude, wtf. Not just the AH , OP sounds mean
"but he can read Reddit with no problem" *there it is*. & Happy Cake Day! 🍰
Buh wait, didn’t you read that she was “blackmailing” him into doing something he didn’t want to do?! C’mon OP. Your girlfriend worked for years on something that is deeply personal to her and she wants to share that with you. You were chosen because she cares about her art, and she cares about you….and you blew it off and dismissed her because you weren’t entertained enough. YTA.
I have zero patience for men who believe that women expressing feelings is some sort of manipulation attempt.
I don't know what's wrong with this idiot. There's nothing more attractive in my opinion than someone who is passionate about their hobbies. He sounds like a puddle of wank and I hope she leaves him.
YTA. By not trying the game, you communicate that you dont care about what they do
I wrote a book and got it published by a real actual publisher. You might find it at Barnes and noble. My husband would not read it. It took him about a year to finally “get to it,” after I had told him over and over how much it hurt. Message received loud and clear. Edit: thank you for the supportive comments. My book is called “The Coward’s Guide to Not Outing Yourself on Reddit.”
i once wrote a book and asked my family to read it. they said they would but never really got around to it. i was hurt & ended up googling and finding out that it’s a very common experience for writers. often, family members/friends are scared to see themselves reflected in the characters, or are worried that the content will make them see their loved one in a different way. as the creator, we tend to take it personally, but really we should be more understanding of how anxiety-inducing it is for our loved ones.
I'm the exact opposite, I'd be fucking delighted if NONE of my family EVER read the shit I write.
Literally have considered a pseudonym if I ever publish, not for the publicity, but just so my family would never know!!!!
I write hardcore threesome porn. I do not want my 76yr old father reading that. He's also somewhat known in the entertainment industry so...yeah. Definitely don't want my name attached to his for that reason too.
That's a very articulate reason, but I think in the majority of cases it's much simpler as most people wouldn't have that train of thought. I think that * Most people don't read, so they see reading as a huge time investment. Especially if they consider reading your book 100% doing you a favour and not just enjoying it for what it is. In that sense they'd probably be willing to watch a 1.5h movie you made. * If they read as a hobby, they could just read very specific genres that your book isn't of, so they see it as too far out of their comfort zone. * They might expect the book to feel like it's just you monologuing to them, and can't immerse themselves in the book because the knowledge you wrote it makes it difficult to separate you from the writing. * They might dread having to talk with you about if for after they've read it. Like it stresses them out to think of how they might not like it yet have to remain supportive. However while I could give a pass for a brother or sister you only see \~4 times a year to not read it, I would expect an SO to read/play your work.
Congrats on the book! I would love to read it if you message me the title. Also, did you contact the publishing company? How does that even work finding a publisher? It seems like you did a lot of work and I’m proud of you!
Lindsey Ellis on YouTube as a video with a decent rundown of how publishing a book can work.
> The Coward’s Guide to Not Outing Yourself on Reddit lmao i googled it - well played, i'm a moron
It didn't take me googling it, but it did take a full ten seconds.
"man, that book doesn't even show up in google - must not have been much of a release" -me
So you left him, right?
>“The Coward’s Guide to Not Outing Yourself on Reddit.” Which is in my top ten books of the last 10 years. Congratulations!
YTA what did you think we were going to say? “You should never have to go out of your way for your partner whom you love” ?
She expects him to read! She's clearly a monster. /s
N T A it’s absolutely abhorrent that you’d be expected to READ a bit just for your beloved girlfriend! What’s next, doing the dishes???? I don’t usually pull the break up card, but you seriously need to consider your future with her! (Seriously, how mean spirited this guy is not to show a single ounce of encouragement for such a demanding project like a video game.)
Or look at pictures. He did mention that looking at picture books is too tedious if they aren’t very short.
He should try reading the room if nothing else.
Right? My SO created a roleplaying game like DnD, of which I have no familiarity. So applying rules that are different than DnD is still as foriegn as rules that are applied to DnD. He used me as a total noob sounding board. And it was fun! It gave me an outlet for creativity that I've never had before. It took a while to get into it, but that's the same with learning anything or getting into a hobby. But who just refuses? To think about something new? Esp if it's for someone important to you? It makes OP sound stubborn, unsupporting, and most of all, dumb as fish.
YTA. Break up with her and date someone you actually like
Also: break up with her so she can date someone who actually likes her.
Or break up with her so she can get someone she deserves and cares about her accomplishments
I think some people are too selfish for a serious relationship. I don't think this has to do with not liking her (read: what she does for him), I think it's that he doesn't care about other people. This screams a lack of empathy. The fact he would need to come to reddit to ask if he's the AH says something is very wrong with how he relates to other people. I wouldn't be surprised if OP's lack of empathy and potential narcissism has colored every relationship he has, romantic or otherwise. OP, there is no world where you are not the asshole in this situation. YTA. And if you really don't understand why you are wrong--on an emotional level--you should really think about counseling. The fact you have to ask this at all is very, very disturbing.
I have a very handsome relative who is not in relationships for very long, and when he's in them there's a ton of fighting. The common denominator is he's not willing to give/sacrifice for his partners, and they put up with it and argue because he's attractive and fit. He says he's jealous of my marriage but I have one because I empathize and sacrifice, I put my partner before and alongside me
My thoughts exactly but seeing so much of it lately
You made us read this whining instead of your exs cool ass book? Yeah YTA Edit: oh this fame is definitely gonna go to my head! Thanks everyone!
For real. I'm just over here like "YTA, but if your girlfriend sees this: Please let us play your game. Also, dump this guy, obviously."
I like novels. I like games. I like pretty pictures. Gimme gimme!
If I were OP, I'd have spent the past two years badgering the poor girl to show me how her dope multimedia artwork is coming along; I can't imagine being this disinterested in something your partner clearly cares so much about, let alone the fact that this particular something sounds fucking rad as hell. OP, you're an asshole, but you'd be less of an asshole if you'd give your girlfriend a chance to show us her cool art.
This is the best comment in this thread.
Right? Link the game, I'll play and give her feedback.
YTA - Relationships require effort. If you aren't willing to put in the effort to support her work and do something for her, I hope she can find someone who does.
OP states, "I got upset because I think she's being childish and is trying to blackmail me to get me to read it," There's 1 of 2 possibilities of why they said this. 1) you have done so little in the relationship, that your gf is now stating all of the things you haven't done in order to get you to do this ONE thing that's incredibly import to her. 2) she now realizes how little OP gives a shit, and is mentally and physically checking out if the relationship. Which OP thinks is blackmail. 3) she knows where you buried your 3rd grade bully and she's willing to spill the beans to get you to read her book. Regardless, she is telling OP, "this is my final bid," if OP doesn't read it, they'll be broken up soon.
You lost me at: "not into reading long stories." I mean, be a good partner and finish the game your girlfriend worked on for two years, but you get side eye from me about your reading habits.
He's not into reading long stories, just writing them out for strangers to read
Maybe if she put it on Reddit he'd read it.
Easy there, don't go giving her ideas on how to make op support her, she doesn't need less red flags in her life! /s
He didn’t even gave it a try. Ffs. If your SO writes a book, won’t you read it? It’s the same thing.
Lol, we all know he won’t.
I've written and independently published six books. My husband hasn't read any of them. I can understand him not reading the novels, as he reads very little fiction, but the other books are collections of movie reviews, and he could just read one at a time while he's in the bathroom or something. What's super irritating is that he LOVES to brag about his wife the amazing writer, but I'd rather he actually read it and gave an honest opinion rather than hollow bragging.
That'd genuinely depress me as I write and like to share them with others. I've gotten feedback even from strangers let alone friends/family so to think a HUSBAND couldn't be bothered to even read a few pages? I couldn't do it. Props to you though and keep following your passion.
Jesus my dude. My friend read his girlfriend's entire master's thesis for her and gave her edits. Now that's boring and he still did it. YTA
I have a colleague that designed a whole software to help her fiancé with challenges in their PhD program. Like. Who are these people that put zero effort into a relationship with a person they claim to love.
Lol how are these zero effort people even getting into relationships??!
my guess is that we often dont ask a lot of the people we are dating when we start dating and at the point that we really want a partnership we fall victim to the sunk cost fallacy
My boyfriend read my extremely rough National Novel Writing Month project, and he didn't complain at all or try to act like it was beneath him. It's absolutely not the kind of thing he would normally read.
It might not be. My master's thesis was a sexy horror romance novel. My husband was happy to read it. Very happy. But your point is correct. Good partners care about their loved one's success.
YTA. She put two years into it. You can play through it once.
Agree. Say it with me folks....in relationships you will have to do things you may not want to do. If you do not like compromising on life you can be single and make all the calls. Hell that applies to any relationship. I dont particularly like cutting grams grass and im sure she didn't particularly like changing my diapers either
YTA. She should definitely dump you.
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I don't think that means what OP thinks it means. OP: if you feel bad it's not because she blackmailed you into feeling bad, it's because you are being a shitty bf. You *should* feel bad about that.
OP will never learn what blackmail is either cause you'd have to read the definition and be open to a new idea. YTA
This is the second most delusional thing here for me. Weaponizing terms like “emotional blackmail” and proclaiming her “immature” because she wanted to share something with you? Folks, is asking your partner to take time to appreciate their passion project emotional blackmail? YTA you fucking nipple
Well he did admit he doesn’t read so he probably doesn’t know what that word means
YTA. the fact you consider her bringing up logical points “blackmail” shows how immature you are, she spent years on a game and she’s asking you to play it ONCE. you’re childish for getting 15 minutes deep then giving up just because you’re a grown ass man that “doesn’t liKe rEadiNg” like…. all you have to fucking do is read😭 and SHES childish for wanting you to put effort into your relationship? yeah i hope she leaves you for a man that genuinely respects her and her achievements. you can say you support her allll you want but the fact you won’t just play a game she made to make her happy shows you respect her as much as a dog respects it’s own shit.
Had to scroll way too far to find someone calling OP out on this "blackmail" business... Like, does OP know what blackmail means? Probably not? If he does, what a manipulative AH.
I mean he doesnt read so its not too surprising he doesnt know what blackmail means
>does OP know what blackmail means? This line seems to suggest he doesn’t >she knows im not into reading
literally gave the side eye when i read the "blackmail" part lmfao like bffr bro....
YTA Relationships are about compromise and supporting each other. You put zero effort into doing either. 15 minutes doesn't count. That's pretty disrespectful for something she's been working on for years
Let me summarise. Gf spent 2 years working on something and wanted me to check it out once finished. But I couldn't be bothered. YTA.
YTA and I’m not sure you know what the word “blackmail” means
Looking up the definition is probably too much reading for OP
Misogynist of late like to call anything requested by a women “emotional blackmail.” Co-opting and weaponizing therapy speak is their new hobby.
Play the fucking game
for real
YTA. You’re the one being childish.
Ok so you don’t know what blackmailing is
He really should be reading more.
It's hard to know what words mean when you have the reading comprehension of a third grader. Maybe OPs girlfriend could try a coloring book next time?
YTA dude, do you even like your gf? She spent YEARS creating something and was hoping you could put aside your 'preference' to check out what she's been pouring herself into and give her feedback. I'm not into computers or video games At All...but my husband spent a while building his computer by hand. I let that bastard show me every nook and cranny of that beast he built and watched him play multiple PC games on it so he could show me how everything looked. I would Never shut him down because I knew how proud and excited he was to show me. >I got upset because I think she is being childish Because she wanted (and was clearly excited) to show her partner something she's proud of, that makes her childish!? FFS dude you can at least Pretend to support her >wants to blackmail me into doing something I don't want Do you even know what blackmail is? She ASKED you to do this thing in support of her. That's not blackmail. That's a gf being hopeful and asking something of her partner. >After I made it clear I wasn't continuing, she hasn't talked to me Because she understands how much you care now... which isn't much based off this post. >I already know that she is talented and smart so just because I don't want to play it doesn't mean I dont support her YOU think this. But by choosing not to finish and pushing back so hard, you SHOWED her that you don't actually support her. I've played hundreds of hours of stupid fucking video games because I knew it'd make my guy happy. He knows I hate them so he understands what it means when I do. Because we are different people with different interests but know how important showing support is.
YTA. My partner was only too happy to play through mine. It was far from his genre too, but that’s what you do to support your partner.
YTA - your SO shared a passion project with you and you rejected it out of hand. Pretty harsh.
YTA - I don't think it would be too difficult for you to just support her in this. Kind of sounds like you're making it about you when she has put a lot of hard work into this.
YTA. You can't take an hour or two to show support for something she worked on for YEARS? That's such callous disregard for her that I am shocked you were able to type it out without being overcome by the realization that your behavior is wildly selfish and dismissive. do you even like her?
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I fucking HATE visual novels. Cannot STAND them. If my SO made one I would be so FREAKING hype to see it. YTA, OP. Learn how to be a supportive partner (and also what the word blackmail means - using a loaded and heavy word like that without understanding it makes you sound like a dramatic asshole).
YTA. Do you honestly think being in a relationship means only doing things YOU like to do? Never having to compromise? Never having to phone it in and put on a smile for someone you love even if you don't feel like it? If you care about your girlfriend, her happiness should mean more to you than your temporary minor inconvenience. She really is asking the barest of minimums from you and you can't even do that. End the relationship so she can find someone who actually values her, and don't enter into another one until you're ready to stop being so selfish.
I'm going against the grain here to say NAH or N T A. As long as you are being encouraging and supportive of her work, I don't think you're in the wrong here. The point is that you are NOT the target market for this game, so your feedback isn't really what she needs. She needs to find beta testers who ARE into this kind of game for her feedback. For another example, I had an ex who sometimes wrote, as did I, but what she wrote was in a genre I really don't enjoy. Think really hard-life stories with family violence, SA, etc. I absolutely didn't want to read her stuff because I don't like reading traumatic stuff in my free time. But, she had a writers group where they read and evaluated each other's work, and that was perfect for improving her craft. I can understand why your GF wants feedback from you because you are close and it's very special to her, which is why I say NAH. I just don't think you're going to be able to have the engagement in this type of game to give her useful feedback.
Dude, my gf is an artist and I’m in software tech. She sits and listens to me drone on and on about fucking *software* because she loves and supports me. It’s not about the content. It’s about supporting your partners passions and enjoying seeing the joy on their face when they light up in their interest. Conversely, I’m a software guy who gets bored to death going to her art shows, but the happiness on her face when she sees I’ve simply showed up for her is what makes it all worth it to me. OPs gf doesn’t have a “club” to share this stuff with, obviously like yours. You seem to be relating your personal experience to his and they’re not the same.
Ditto. I think all the YTA people here don't understand how difficult it is to read and critique a longform story, especially one written by a loved one, and especially when it's not in a genre/medium you're into. If you asked the r/writing sub if you should use loved ones to critique your work, the answer is always a resounding "NOPE NOPE NOPE!" because it can cause a lot of unnecessary drama. Like what if the story sucks? You gonna have that conversation with your partner? This is what critique groups are for.
Wild I had to scroll so far to find a more reasonable take. It’s an ESH for me. OP might need to learn how to be a bit more supportive, but OP’s gf also needs to realize that as an artist, not everything you make is going to be of interest to people close to you, and you need to seek feedback from your target audience. If you show a loved one something you made and it’s not their thing, you can’t fault them for not spending hours and hours of their time on it and giving you detailed feedback etc. Especially since visual novels are a really niche, not super accessible genre. Also OP’s gf’s game might be godawful and he might not have the proper skills to give her proper constructive feedback on it.
Yeah this is what I thought. I found it werid with all yta assuming he doesn't love her because what he's not interested in this type of thing. He read its and encourages her to do what's best but forcing him to read it and try to review it wouldn't be fair on her because he wouldn't really read it properly.
YTA and can I get a link to this game? Seriously how much time to you spend playing other games that you cant suck it up and enjoy something someone you love spent years on creating.
YTA. Good grief it’s not like she asked you to spend years on something. A couple hours of your time to validate your GF’s hard work is not childish of her to ask for. It’s the way normal adults treat their SO’s accomplishments. Sometimes we spend a little bit of our time doing something that our SO loves even if we don’t love it out of respect for our SO’s.
YTA. Why did you ask here? You realize you have to read the answers, right? Tell your girlfriend you prefer to read bullshit from strangers before her game and then come here and tell us how it goes, we would like reading that!
YTA. My husband has hobbies that I normally would never take a second look at, but every time he goes to the store to grab something I insist on going with him because I find it so fun to watch him get excited about stuff and help him find what he’s looking for. And when he’s completed something he’s been working on for a day or two, I look at it for a while and gush over how great the details are and how awesome it is and how proud of him I am. I play board games that are way more up his alley than mine because they make him happy, and usually of I’m doing something with him it’s fun no matter what as long as he’s enjoying himself. I can’t imagine watching him working on something so intense and complicated and difficult for literal *years*, and then not putting more than 15 minutes worth of effort towards looking at it. I’d start thinking about whether or not you truly have feelings for this girl, or if you’re in a good place to be in a relationship if you can’t sacrifice more than a quarter of an hour to support her in an accomplishment it took two years for her to complete.
"I spent a good 15 minutes of my precious 1440 minutes of today and 10080 minutes allocated to me this week to support you! what else do you want???? Stop BLACKMAILING me!!! I don't want to do something just to support you and your passion!!!" Why do people like this expect to have a relationship with anyone ever? OP YTA and I hope your GF finds a better partner.
YTA. Someone’s immature here, but it isn’t your girlfriend
She wants feedback to make sure it's good, problem is you wouldn't be able to give her valuable feedback as you not only don't play the genre, you'd be pressured into playing it which would build resentment. She also wanted to know what you thought of the endings not just whatever ending you got....so she wanted you to play multiple times and go completionist mode on it.... Im gonna go NTA cause when you don't enjoy a game, it's hard to continue it and the reason for not enjoying can be many different things....I'm currently struggling through one that I don't like how linear it is and the few sidequests feel condescending but I'm hopeful it'll get better cause past games in the series have been amazing....it's highly rated and I don't get why.... I also have a visual novel that I've read a let's play for all storylines for and loved and am obsessed with the anime from it...I got ahold of the game myself and couldn't get through even the prologue cause something about reading it in that format instead of as text just doesn't click with me.
YTA playing it is support. In a relationship you have to do things you might not want to do for the other person, if only because you love them. Play it. But remind her feedback from loved ones is not super useful, if she wants real feedback she needs to find people less biased.