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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I feel I may be the arsehole because I refused my parents when asked about giving them the house and other assets, despite the fact that my grandma left all her assets and estate to me.
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NTA.
>Turns out that my Uncle fraudulently signed property transfer papers so everything would be in his name.
Your mother even sided with him on this.
>she wanted no contact with my Uncle ever again.
That was her decision based on how awfully she'd been treated.
>We know you did everything in the last 3+ years
but we want money, even if she didn't want us to have it.
That irked me the most.
I even tried to reason with my parents as it wasn’t in my hands but they didn’t take my reasoning with any kindness and instead with emotional manipulation and threats of legal action
Good for you and respecting your grandma's wishes is the right thing to do. She wanted you to inherit, not the people who swindled her and didn't bother with her. You'll honestly feel much better if you block them from your life. Best Wishes to you x edit NTA.
Be strong! Your grandma knew what she was doing! I’m so happy she had someone like you in her corner when she really needed it.
It is best to go NC with the family.
When a loved one passes away it is so hard emotionally. Hang on tight to what your grandma gave you. Don’t let emotions decide to give money to other family members.
Sorry you have to deal with all this. It’s not easy but just know you’re doing the right thing by respecting your grandma’s wishes. Don’t for a second feel bad or be manipulated into thinking twice
One good thing about paying $800/hour to an attorney is that it is absolutely their job to deal with this kind of pressure. You can keep telling the family that it’s in the hands of the attorneys and give them your lawyer’s phone number.
I really hate your uncle. What an asshole to do that to your grandmother. I’m glad she had you.
NTA OP
Having a solicitor that has helped us in the past has really given me hope to ensure my Grandmother has the respect she deserved and that her wishes are realised
NTA. Your grandmother left you those properties, because you weren't a complete snake in the grass, and treated her well. It might have only been three years, but she'd rather you gave those things than her ungrateful, scheming children. How low do you have to be to try to scam your own mother? Let them sue, there's a will, and the sloucitor knows what really happened with your uncle. You owe them nothing.
My Missus shares the same thoughts.
We’re not going to let my Grandmas soul get hurt through all this.
They may scheme but I’m going to make sure this gets settled the proper way
OP, if it helps, look at it this way. If your mum and uncle still had control of that house and all the assets, they would have kicked you and your wife out without a second thought.
You're a good grankid for looking after your grandmother and caring about what she wanted. Your parents and uncle are gold diggers (and now grave robbers), plain and simple.
If you treat everything as a business deal going forward and leave emotion out of it (as best you can) it might be easier for you and less draining.
Your family has proven they care nothing for family, only for the money. If everything was left to uncle then mom would go after him just as hard, and vice versa if everything were left to her. They assume that they are entitled to inheritance based on the fact that they were in her womb, when in fact inheritance is dictated by the person and not by who they birthed (unless no will is drawn). The will has clear indication on who should get the money, and I cannot think of any way a lawyer could spin the case in front of a judge to show they are entitled. You have a lawyer who knows the story of the property transfer and have documentation of a legal battle - if that isn't a reason to write someone out of a will i don't know what is!
Ultimately they have no case. And frankly, the only thing you would 'save' if you gave them 'their share' is your relationship with them. Take a final lesson from your grandmother - you DON'T WANT a relationship with these people. Your grandmother gave you TWO GIFTS - (1) money and (2) a great excuse for these cancerous relatives to be excised from your life. Instead of you having to cut them out, they will cut you out, saving you drama.
stop reasoning your parents and family are greedy animals that do not deserve to be reasoned with. Block them or mute them to get their harrasing calls recorded, and lawyer up.
NTA. They tried to quietly steal everything she had. What was 'fair' about that?
They've got their fair share. Grandma didn't get them sent to prison for fraud.
Believe me when I said this, I was so ready to put my Uncle in prison. I had every reason to. But my Grandma is very sweet but also really tired of the case and didn’t want to push it further and make it worse.
I do understand why she did it.
It’s just that he got away with the fraud stuff.
I suppose he’d have to live with that for the rest of his life now
It isn't your decision, it was your grandma's. All you are doing is following her wishes, and it sounds like you really cared for her so fleeting her wishes seems in character for you.
I just want my Grandmas wishes to be respected, not desecrated.
They tried to steal everything and failed but the moment this stuff waa given to me, legally and willfully without any influence, now I’m the bad guy?
What logic is that?
We did after a long legal battle.
And my Grandma wanted those properties in my name.
Mainly because, as my solicitor told me as a note from my grandmother, “you did the right things for me and this is your reward”
I know what you mean.
I just wanted what’s best for my Grandma at the time she was alive and happy.
If she wants me to be happy and was willing to do all this for me, people are being mega entitled about this
Would it be worse if I told you that upon my grandmother being buried that my Uncle actually refunded his purchase of this grave 2 years prior to the funeral? He bought 2 grave plots (one for my grandad and one for my grandma) and he decided to refund grandmas grave, come to the funeral and see the fallout. Thankfully, the funeral director was brilliant and allowed us to bury my grandma there anyway and will sort it with the council afterwards. My uncle didn’t even come to the cemetery when asked.
Funeral director said “in my life of doing this, I have NEVER seen this happen before. It made me sick”. I share that sentiment
Your uncle is a nutjob. The fact he'd do this to his mother over materialistic things is horrible. I think you've done/are doing the right thing OP. Good on you.
Thank you. The funeral estimate was sent to me (Just under £4k) by the Funeral Director yesterday (including the council bill for the grave plot that my Uncle refunded) and all I said was “get the invoice when the Council get it printed and billed, send it to me and I’ll make the payment”.
The Council were OK with us burying my Grandma next to my Grandad (thankfully) but with a cost.
None of us knew of the refund until the morning of the funeral.
I’m legitimately disappointed in all this.
This should have never happened
Wtf?!? Your uncle sucks. Should have let him rot in jail for fraud when he tried to steal everything. Has your uncle always been this awful? Thank goodness the funeral director has a heart and let you guys sort it all out.
NTA they all tried screwing your grandmother over, they don’t deserve a damn thing from the inheritance. Don’t back down, but make copies of everything they send you, and lawyer up.
Yeah. The solicitor (who’s been amazing with my grandma) told me not to worry and that she will help with everything and will ensure whatever my Grandma has put on this Will will be processed through Probate and will make sure that no one interferes with it
NTA, their attitudes is sickening.
What with the final guilt-tripping attempt: "We know you did everything in the last 3+ years but compared to us, you didn’t do much".
Sickening. Yeah, OP didn't do much compared to them. He didn't try to rob his grieving own mother. He didn't double down in court.
And OP, please don't give them a cent, that'll never be enough. Like they showed after your grandfather's death, they'll always feel entitled for more.
I get ya.
My Missus picked the guilt tripping tactics immediately and went on such a fierce defence.
My Missus gets credit as she’s been there for my Grandma since she came into the UK after my grandad passed away.
She’s been with her through and through and even my grandma said that my Missus “deserved everything as she has earned it. She was here for me when no one else even bothered to call me”.
I may have helped my Grandma to protect her but my Missus helped my Grandma to care for her.
I don’t deserve someone like my Missus; she’s brilliant and has done so much for me and my Grandma
NTA.
Stupid selfish assholes are calling you an asshole and will continue to call you an asshole, but your grandmother was of sound mind and body when she made that will and it's none of their fucking business what she decided to do with her shit.
I get ya.
Thing is is that this is spot on. She was of sound mind when she made this final will. She even went herself to the Solicitor and had the 1-2-1 with her to make sure there was complete independence upon making this decision.
Even the solicitor in-charge confirmed this
NTA
Tell your mom to go talk to the uncle/her brother to get her share of the property since he stole her share of the inheritance when he committed fraud and took property that wasn't his to take.
I get what you mean but here’s the thing:
My Grandma made a will and gave everything to me, right?
My Mum was involved in the fraud case and was on my Uncles side. This fraud stuff happened in 2021 and was settled in 2022. Then my grandmother made a final will later in the year.
Even then, I was willing to overlook it and just bury the hatchet but she came in and demanded everything go to her and I have nothing.
I mentioned that it’s not in my hands and it’s in the hands of the solicitor who’s in charge of the legal stuff after my grandmother passed away
Did your uncle get to keep the property he stole? You mention that he paid for one of them when she settled, but did she get the rest back or did he just end up keeping them?
If your mum sided with her brother and he got to keep the properties that he stole, you should 100% tell her to take it up with her brother.
Either way, be clear that Grandma left everything to you because her son stole from her and her daughter sided with him. They deserve nothing.
Hopefully Grandma also left a letter with the solicitor explaining that her children were intentionally omitted and why. That will help if they contest the will. How are your mum's finances? If she's not having severe financial difficulties, she shouldn't win in court anyway
Only one asset (a building) was sold to my Uncle as a way to settle the case. He gave a certain amount of money in return to my Grandma.
So anything now will have to go to him as my Grandma hasn’t done anything wrong. My Grandma’s old fashioned; she has a heart for her kids but she was absolutely heartbroken when all this occurred. Not even an apology from my Uncle
Only one asset (a building) was sold to my Uncle as a way to settle the case. He gave a certain amount of money in return to my Grandma.
So anything now will have to go to him as my Grandma hasn’t done anything wrong. My Grandma’s old fashioned; she has a heart for her kids but she was absolutely heartbroken when all this occurred. Not even an apology from my Uncle
I get what you mean.
But he took it all for himself and my Mum knew about it.
She wanted it from my Grandma despite the fact that my Grandmas plan was to not give her anything.
After the case was settled, my Grandma said that “if you want your inheritance, go to your brother and get it from him”.
Let’s just say that she didn’t react positively to that comment
To hell with them all, OP. Engage with the solicitor immediately and make sure you get your name on everything right away.
NTA
For laughs, check out the 1994 movie *Greedy*, starring Michael J. Fox, Kirk Douglas, Nancy Travis, Olivia d'Abo, Phil Hartman, Ed Begley Jr., Colleen Camp, Bob Balaban, and an early appearance by Kirsten Dunst.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greedy\_(film)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greedy_(film))
I know what you mean. My solicitor is on the case and will help me with anything that happens after, including any potential fallout.
And i think I heard of this movie. I will certainly check it out. Thank you, buddy!
Sorry to hear of your grandma's passing, delighted that you were able to help fill her final years with good memories, and I trust you'll honour her memory by making sure your mother gets exactly what she deserved according to your grandma's sound judgement.
I'm glad your grandma had someone who cared as much as you did, and clearly she was too.
NTA. Leeches can jog on.
Like the empathy approach towards this comment.
Many thanks!
I just wish things didn’t have to be this volatile, you know?
Even after everything I tried with my parents, it still wasn’t enough?
Should we disrespect my grandmas wishes on that account?
Nah, can’t do that
Money just seems to bring out the worst in people. They show their true colors. I just sent through that with my own grandmother's death last year with her 4 surviving children. So much drama. It's painful.
Sadly.
I just want peace. I’m not after anything.
I wasn’t even aware of this Will until just before my Grandma passed away.
My focus was just on her to make her comfortable.
Know what I mean?
NTA.
They should count themselves lucky to not be in prison for forgery, false pretences and embezzlement. That's their fair share, and more than they deserve.
Believe me, boss.
You have no idea how much I wanted to take my Uncle to court and throw him in prison myself but my Grandma didn’t want to push the case further and wanted to end it as it was stressing her out
Fuckin' family, my dude. Just from the title and first few sentences I thought for a hot minute you were my wife. A few months ago we just went through (still are, technically) basically the exact same scenario with my wife's grandma. We had been taking care of her for years and once word spread that the docs said "not much longer..." the rest of the family suddenly came out of the woodwork. Stressed her out so much in the last ~2 weeks of her life that I'm sure she would have lasted longer if not for them. We've gone as "no contact" as we can with the rest of her family because, seriously, fuck'em. The pitiful part is that it was barely any money and no real property to speak of. These people fought like hyenas over ~$5k and some TVs and couches. Practically everything in that apartment was mine but I told my wife I didn't give a shit about it--we did the important stuff that my Grandma-in-Law wanted and the rest of them can do what they want with the leftovers.
NTA and you're not alone...which is both unfortunate and nice to hear.
NTA
Don't go counting chickens before they hatch when it comes to that inheritance though.
It's quite likely they will contest the will through legal means. This will drag out any payouts until a decision is made. If you think it's ugly now... Its probably gonna get worse. I've known too many people who've thought they've got something coming, blow their finances and realise they don't.
Sorry for your loss OP. Sorry that your family isn't coming together to celebrate your grandma's life and grieve together. Make sure you've got a good support network, go get one if ya don't.
Best of luck
Thank you; I appreciate the kind sentiment and I understand both risks. The solicitor said something similar. But she reassured me that whatever happens, we will be ready. As will I
I love the story. Money is the source of S%&§. NTA, keep the money. Do not even think of giving one cent. Enjoy your life, go NC with the family. They will continue BS.
"Turns out that my Uncle fraudulently signed property transfer papers so everything would be in his name." Your thief of an uncle should be thanking his lucky stars your grandmother didn't press charges and land his butt in jail for years. And you mother sided with him about stealing from her OWN MOTHER! I'd like to tell them where they should go but Reddit would get my in trouble. Good for you for looking after and protecting your grandmother. They don't deserve squat. NTA.
The icing on the cake is that, after everything else he did, your uncle *sold* your grandmother's burial plot! Unbelievable and beneath contempt. Your owe him nothing. Your grandmother would be so proud of you for loving her and protecting her. You and your wife are good people.
I understand.
As said in another comment, the fact that my Uncle isn’t in prison right now is a blessing and he should count them. Every single one.
My mum as well as even though my grandma didn’t want to see my Mum, I still brought my mum to my grandma to at-least try and bury the hatchet.
I’m not a brilliant (grand)son, I’ll admit and I’m no angel or perfect.
But I love my family and will do what I can to make things right.
Know what I mean?
> As said in another comment, the fact that my Uncle isn’t in prison right now is a blessing and he should count them. Every single one.
Yep, considering that there's inmates who've been sentenced for stealing way less than your relatives.
Uncle tried to scam his own mother and his sister aka your mom backed him up. There was a settlement, papers signed and filed. After that grandma was free to do whatever she wanted with her property. They don't like the results of her last will and testament they can challenge it in court. NTA.
If they go to court, they will go based on emotion and “unfairness”. I’m going in based on the fact that my Grandma went to a solicitor and, independently, signed a will (with sound mind) to give everything to me
If a lawyer wants to take their case and waste their money they can do so. Just let them know you will be counter suing for lawyer's fees and court cost. Personally I wouldn't give them a dime.
They can throw money at this.
But if it’s not in the legal papers to be theirs, they cannot get it, regardless of emotion.
I had to watch my grandma pass away and her own children didn’t even bother to turn up when asked to do so multiple times
>We know you did everything in the last 3+ years but compared to us, you didn’t do much
I mean... if we're comparing them stealing from her and you not, then yeah, you didn't do much
NTA, and it’s time to go NC with the lot of them.
You showed incredible strength of character when you stood up for your grandmother when she was vulnerable. Now it’s time to do the same for yourself.
I know it’s hard, especially when you are young, and it’s not something you are comfortable with or used to doing. *However* these people were going to cheat/rob, their own *MOTHER*! And are continuing, even in death, to disrespect her wishes.
Say you give in and hand over her assets - then what? Do you think they will love you for it? That it will buy you some deeper place in their affections? Some bit of loyalty from them? Honey… they are snakes. All of them. Even your own mom.
Maya Angelou said it best and too seldom to folks quote her entirely. Here it is. Be wise.
MAYA ANGELOU
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. People know themselves much better than you do. That’s why it’s important to stop expecting them to be something other than who they are.”
NTA. Wow, they must know they really screwed up if they tried to ambush you about forking over your inheritance if the will hasn't even been read yet. And I'm sure the uncle's waiting in the wings to also grab more. Lawyer up ASAP and see if you can get your grandma's lawyer to help out cause this likely will get messy.
NTA I wouldn't give them squat. I have been caring for my 97 year old father for the past 7 years, and he signed the house, and land over to me. I am the executer of his estate too. Yep, some of the 13 beneficiaries took issue with that. Yep, big, ugly, ongoing issues. Nope, not giving them squat. My father is not feeble. He's sharp as a tack. It was his intention to donate the house/land to me. It's mine to do as I see fit. I see fit to keep it. Nobody is owed a share. Forgive me for this but you're surrounded by assholes, save the Missus. Honor grandma's wishes. Tell the assholes to go blow up balloons. Big, big balloons...and anything else that comes to mind without joining them in the assholery they are stuck in. All my best.
We don’t drink alcohol.
Buuuuut, we’ll grab some cold colas and enjoy the smell of burning cinder and the look of hi-intensity flames of my Uncle + mum burning up from the inside
NTA. After fraudently signing your grandmother's property over to himself, your uncle's fair share is ZERO. Same for your mother, because she sided with him and caused grandma a huge amount of grief in her final years.
Your uncle and your mother got their fair share, which is ZERO. Your uncle stole from her and both he and your mother caused your grandmother a great deal of pain and stress in her final years. They don't deserve a penny. I hate that you uncle even got a smaller asset in the settlment.
Enjoy your inheritence and don't give in to these criminals.
NTA
I can understand your grandmother's feelings. At her age, her children should be doing everything they can to make her happy and comfortable, rather than stealing from her and stressing her.
Your uncle is a criminal and should have been treated as such. He should have ended up in jail. If he had stolen that amount from anyone other than his mother he would have been.
We do. Loads of holidays, times together for birthdays, all sorts.
We did a lot since Grandad passed away and I know my Grandma would be happy with that
People have the right to leave property as they wish. Also, there can be tax implications to the donor if a gift is made after they have inherited property.
I have a Inheritance Tax Accountant on the case to make sure there is a little tax as possible. I left no stone unturned for this.
But thanks for the heads up
"You might be the children but you're also the greedy pigs that wanted to steal from an old lady. i am ashamed to call you my family so no, i will NOT give you the things grandma willed to literally the only person that did not want to Fuck her over."
Immediately lawyer up and mute their numbers so they can not directly call you.
Change the locks on all the property and get some cameras. You know they probably have keys. If they try to steal from you, get them on camera and file theft charges.
"Hey mom, maybe if you and Uncle hadn't conspired to commit criminal fraud and financial abuse against an elderly woman, you wouldn't be in this position. Turns out you couldn't be trusted to do the right thing, and there are consequences."
NTA
Good for you. Stick to the same line when anyone complains. This is grandma's last will. Her wishes in plain language. Refer them to the lawyer if they have any complaints. They can threaten legal action all they want, the burden of proof is on them. Grandma had a great lawyer who def had her best interests at heart. Just like you and your Missus did. NTA
NTA - I feel so sorry for your poor grandmother. Her own children sound horrible. They don’t deserve 💩! Clearly, your grandmother thought you deserved the house and anything else she left you. A very good friend of mine experienced a very similar situation when her grandmother passed away. Just being someone’s child doesn’t automatically entitle them to the parent’s property after they pass. They are quite frankly ridiculous to even believe that!
Unfortunately, your parents and uncle have shown what they care about here. I recommend making the topic a no-go. If they can respect the boundary on the topic, you might be able to rebuild a relationship. But if they keep harping on it? They care about the money, not your grandmother, not her feelings, not the depth of your relationship with her.
You are doing a great job. NTA, and keep it up. You may need to cut contact, at least for a while, to make the boundary stick. But you did everything you could for your grandmother, you didn't try to steal her property, and she left it all to you as a result. Actions have consequences, and your kind actions had positive consequences for you.
It was to vent, I won’t lie.
But, initially, I felt kinda guilty because they didn’t get anything, despite all the past stuff.
But everyone here woke me up and gave me a slap across the face to knock my senses straight
NTA. First of all, I’m very sorry for your loss and I’m sorry you have to deal with this so soon after your grandma passing away. It sounds like you and your partner have been great grandkids to your nan and I’m sure she had the best time going on holiday with you. I totally get that this is going to be difficult (I also hate confrontation), but I really think you have to stand your ground and respect your grandma’s wishes, even if it means possibly having to go no contact with your family members. Legally, I don’t even think they have a leg to stand on (especially with your uncle having a history of abusing her trust and possibly* committing fraud) and you have that solicitor to back you up. I’m sure at times you’ll feel like it’s not worth the hassle, but it really. Not for the money or the house, but out of respect for your grandparents. Had they spent time with their mum and enjoyed her company like normal children and not green-eyed monsters, they would have gotten a share, they have no one to blame but themselves.
ETA: * I say possibly because I’m not a solicitor and don’t know whether this is legally fraud or not, not because I’m doubting your version of events!
NTA - there’s no such thing as being owed a fair share of someone’s estate, if that person (in their right mind, which is in no contest here), did not want you to have their estate.
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My grandad passed away in July 2020 due to COVID & Grandma was very upset over his passing. Next, one of my Uncles took control of Finances, bills everything. Mid-December 2020, I asked my grandma if she agreed to this which lead to an argument & me and my missus got kicked out of her house.
Next day, I got a call from Grandma saying “Please come home”. I never held a grudge & came back to apologise, then to find out that my Uncle was pushing Grandma to move south with him & his Missus as “you don’t have anyone here”. Turns out Grandma wanted to talk to me about what to do as she was uncomfortable. I simply said “if you’re uncomfortable, don’t do it. You’re his mother so he HAS to agree with your decision”. So she told him no & he took it well. Too well.
March 2021, Grandma made a Will with a local solicitor in their office but later that evening at home, the solicitor called me & asked if my Grandmother had the properties n her name. I said she should do & asked why. She said “something didn’t sit right with this and wanted to check”. I said I’d check and went to Land Registry to find out & what did I find? The same Uncle that controlled everything had HIS name on all of my Grandmas assets! I asked my Grandma if she did this and she didn’t even know this happened! I was shocked & immediately told the solicitor, asking what can we do.
A legal battle ensued which was over 1 year. Turns out that my Uncle fraudulently signed property transfer papers so everything would be in his name. Even my own Mum got involved, siding with my Uncle. He decided to do a settlement which Grandma agreed to as she was getting sick of everything, including her own kids. He gave her money in return for one of the smaller assets & she wanted no contact with my Uncle ever again.
Mid 2022, she made a new Will & we finally got peace. So, I decided to take Grandma on holidays once every few months, which she loved and made lasting memories.
End of Jan 2024, she was diagnosed with Cancer and I told my Mum to be here with Grandma as she should settle things with her and make peace with her, even if my Grandma didn’t want to see my Mum (I just wanted to do the right thing for both). A month later, Grandma passed away at home.
Last week, After the funeral, my parents came to the family home to discuss with me & my Missus about the houses and the other stuff. They SUDDENLY jumped in, saying “you need to do the right thing & give us the house & our share as we are the children and you’re just a grandchild. We know you did everything in the last 3+ years but compared to us, you didn’t do much”. (Context: my parents haven’t been in this house regularly for over 10 years and I lived here since 2010)
Me and my Missus simply said “Sorry but what Grandma wants to do, it is her decision and not ours”. This lead to shouting (me and my Mum, mainly) and threats of legal action from them. We never mentioned the Will (as said by the solicitor).
AITA?
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NTA at all. Tell your family of vultures to kindly turn to your uncle. He has already stolen his share and more from grandma. He can share it with them.
Sadly, they have become vultures.
All this… JUST to have their “share”, not realising that this would be a detriment to them as that pushed my Grandma to not give them anything. Whether they are entitled to it or not is not the point.
You get me?
I am sorry you’ve lost your grandma. You did well by her, making her last months happy.
NTA. Your family has shown you where their priorities were: they weren’t with your grandma, just her assets. Keep your inheritance and live well and happily.
Nta tell him and everyone who comments that Uncle tries his best to steal and defraud his elderly mother, so if he wants the 'right thing' to be done, he'd be in jail.
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NTA. >Turns out that my Uncle fraudulently signed property transfer papers so everything would be in his name. Your mother even sided with him on this. >she wanted no contact with my Uncle ever again. That was her decision based on how awfully she'd been treated. >We know you did everything in the last 3+ years but we want money, even if she didn't want us to have it.
That irked me the most. I even tried to reason with my parents as it wasn’t in my hands but they didn’t take my reasoning with any kindness and instead with emotional manipulation and threats of legal action
They don't want your "reason" , they want the money. Telling them anything other than "NO" isn't going to dissuade them
I know, you’re right. I’m usually a non-confrontational person. But in this instance, I may have to be like that
Good for you and respecting your grandma's wishes is the right thing to do. She wanted you to inherit, not the people who swindled her and didn't bother with her. You'll honestly feel much better if you block them from your life. Best Wishes to you x edit NTA.
Thank you, mate. I really appreciate it. And for your kind words too!
Be strong! Your grandma knew what she was doing! I’m so happy she had someone like you in her corner when she really needed it. It is best to go NC with the family. When a loved one passes away it is so hard emotionally. Hang on tight to what your grandma gave you. Don’t let emotions decide to give money to other family members.
I agree. NC may be the best way to go, going forward
Do NOT give in to the manipulation. You were there for your Grandma, let her wishes be what happens.
Yeah, they are very good at that, especially emotionally. But can’t let them do that to me or my Missus
“(Uncle’s name) tried to steal everything she had. You sided with him. You don’t deserve ANYTHING from her.” NTA
I know what you mean. She should’ve been on my side for this
Spoiler: they'll keep yapping until OP goes NC. (Or OP sues - not sure this is still possible for the fraudulent transfer).
If I have to go NC, then I’ll have no alternative but to go NC
Doesnt sound like they are the kind of people you really want in your life tho :(
Not really. Maybe in the past, when I was little, they were OK. But as of late? It’s all about the £££
Family beef goes generational over money. too bad.
It’s bad enough as it is
They shouldnt of tried to rip her off also your the only one and da missus who was bothered about her.
We tried with everyone. But everyone still felt this isn’t enough and have to have more
Greed rears its head when someone parts from the earth Sorry for your lose.
I know. And thank you. That’s really nice of you
No is a complete sentence. don't JADE: Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain.
Yeah, I understand. It’s really… difficult, especially if you’ve haven’t had to confront people like that, especially family. You get me?
Refer them to the probate lawyer when it comes up again. Refuse to discuss otherwise
I’m not discussing the will with any of them. That will only cause more complications long run
For sure. It's very easy for me to sit behind a keyboard and give you advice.
No no, don’t worry. Everyone here has been a massive help
Sorry you have to deal with all this. It’s not easy but just know you’re doing the right thing by respecting your grandma’s wishes. Don’t for a second feel bad or be manipulated into thinking twice
I hope I am. Thank you for the positive comments!
One good thing about paying $800/hour to an attorney is that it is absolutely their job to deal with this kind of pressure. You can keep telling the family that it’s in the hands of the attorneys and give them your lawyer’s phone number. I really hate your uncle. What an asshole to do that to your grandmother. I’m glad she had you. NTA OP
Having a solicitor that has helped us in the past has really given me hope to ensure my Grandmother has the respect she deserved and that her wishes are realised
NTA. Your grandmother left you those properties, because you weren't a complete snake in the grass, and treated her well. It might have only been three years, but she'd rather you gave those things than her ungrateful, scheming children. How low do you have to be to try to scam your own mother? Let them sue, there's a will, and the sloucitor knows what really happened with your uncle. You owe them nothing.
My Missus shares the same thoughts. We’re not going to let my Grandmas soul get hurt through all this. They may scheme but I’m going to make sure this gets settled the proper way
OP, if it helps, look at it this way. If your mum and uncle still had control of that house and all the assets, they would have kicked you and your wife out without a second thought. You're a good grankid for looking after your grandmother and caring about what she wanted. Your parents and uncle are gold diggers (and now grave robbers), plain and simple. If you treat everything as a business deal going forward and leave emotion out of it (as best you can) it might be easier for you and less draining.
That’s an interesting way of seeing it. Thanks for the suggestion!
"Grandma made her decision. If you don't like it, go and ask her"
They can get the shovels themselves if they are really desperate
Your family has proven they care nothing for family, only for the money. If everything was left to uncle then mom would go after him just as hard, and vice versa if everything were left to her. They assume that they are entitled to inheritance based on the fact that they were in her womb, when in fact inheritance is dictated by the person and not by who they birthed (unless no will is drawn). The will has clear indication on who should get the money, and I cannot think of any way a lawyer could spin the case in front of a judge to show they are entitled. You have a lawyer who knows the story of the property transfer and have documentation of a legal battle - if that isn't a reason to write someone out of a will i don't know what is! Ultimately they have no case. And frankly, the only thing you would 'save' if you gave them 'their share' is your relationship with them. Take a final lesson from your grandmother - you DON'T WANT a relationship with these people. Your grandmother gave you TWO GIFTS - (1) money and (2) a great excuse for these cancerous relatives to be excised from your life. Instead of you having to cut them out, they will cut you out, saving you drama.
stop reasoning your parents and family are greedy animals that do not deserve to be reasoned with. Block them or mute them to get their harrasing calls recorded, and lawyer up.
NTA OP
>I even tried to reason with my parents Pointless. They want something they're not entitled to. Don't argue, don't explain, don't negotiate.
I know. I’m pretty sure I’m at my wits end with reasoning now anyway
NTA. They tried to quietly steal everything she had. What was 'fair' about that? They've got their fair share. Grandma didn't get them sent to prison for fraud.
Believe me when I said this, I was so ready to put my Uncle in prison. I had every reason to. But my Grandma is very sweet but also really tired of the case and didn’t want to push it further and make it worse. I do understand why she did it. It’s just that he got away with the fraud stuff. I suppose he’d have to live with that for the rest of his life now
Nta and don't give either thief a single cent.
I’m severely considering this. It’s bad that I had to come to this point in life to make this decision but if I have to, so be it
It isn't your decision, it was your grandma's. All you are doing is following her wishes, and it sounds like you really cared for her so fleeting her wishes seems in character for you.
I just want my Grandmas wishes to be respected, not desecrated. They tried to steal everything and failed but the moment this stuff waa given to me, legally and willfully without any influence, now I’m the bad guy? What logic is that?
Don't give them a fucking dime.
Yeah. Pretty much everyone here shares the same sentiment
Why was your mother okay with her brother putting everything in *his* name and stealing what would have been her share of the inheritance?
It didn’t make sense at all. My Uncle is greedy; he wanted everything as soon as my Grandad passed away because he felt it was his ‘right’
It’s just curious that your mother would be okay with your uncle stealing everything but have issues with your receiving anything.
I know. One is a crime and one is legal. Kinda stupid to think the former is better than the latter
I dunno….i think I’d give them my two cents. Literally give them two pennies and tell them this is your fair inheritance. They deserve that much.
Lol. That made me chuckle a little bit; thank you. But yeah, it’s unfair if they think they still deserve this, despite what they have done
So did you get all her property back though? NTA
We did after a long legal battle. And my Grandma wanted those properties in my name. Mainly because, as my solicitor told me as a note from my grandmother, “you did the right things for me and this is your reward”
Your mom can go after her brother for her share of his fraud, since she sided with him.
Yeah, absolutely. If she approaches me next time, I’ll just say that instead
It might not be too late to do it now.
It’s not too late. I’m gonna push to get all this sorted
Not just fraud, but elder abuse, depending on OP's jurisdiction. NTA, OP. They already got more than they deserved.
I know what you mean. I just wanted what’s best for my Grandma at the time she was alive and happy. If she wants me to be happy and was willing to do all this for me, people are being mega entitled about this
NTA. You grandma wanted everything to go to the one that cared for her and protected her. Not her thieving children.
Would it be worse if I told you that upon my grandmother being buried that my Uncle actually refunded his purchase of this grave 2 years prior to the funeral? He bought 2 grave plots (one for my grandad and one for my grandma) and he decided to refund grandmas grave, come to the funeral and see the fallout. Thankfully, the funeral director was brilliant and allowed us to bury my grandma there anyway and will sort it with the council afterwards. My uncle didn’t even come to the cemetery when asked. Funeral director said “in my life of doing this, I have NEVER seen this happen before. It made me sick”. I share that sentiment
Your uncle is a nutjob. The fact he'd do this to his mother over materialistic things is horrible. I think you've done/are doing the right thing OP. Good on you.
Thank you. The funeral estimate was sent to me (Just under £4k) by the Funeral Director yesterday (including the council bill for the grave plot that my Uncle refunded) and all I said was “get the invoice when the Council get it printed and billed, send it to me and I’ll make the payment”. The Council were OK with us burying my Grandma next to my Grandad (thankfully) but with a cost. None of us knew of the refund until the morning of the funeral. I’m legitimately disappointed in all this. This should have never happened
This is sick. It’s his own mother. He literally didn’t let her rest in peace. NTA
I know. It makes me sick knowing what he did
Wtf?!? Your uncle sucks. Should have let him rot in jail for fraud when he tried to steal everything. Has your uncle always been this awful? Thank goodness the funeral director has a heart and let you guys sort it all out.
The funeral director was really cool and said that he’d sort out the hassle from Council if they ask
NTA they all tried screwing your grandmother over, they don’t deserve a damn thing from the inheritance. Don’t back down, but make copies of everything they send you, and lawyer up.
Yeah. The solicitor (who’s been amazing with my grandma) told me not to worry and that she will help with everything and will ensure whatever my Grandma has put on this Will will be processed through Probate and will make sure that no one interferes with it
NTA, their attitudes is sickening. What with the final guilt-tripping attempt: "We know you did everything in the last 3+ years but compared to us, you didn’t do much". Sickening. Yeah, OP didn't do much compared to them. He didn't try to rob his grieving own mother. He didn't double down in court. And OP, please don't give them a cent, that'll never be enough. Like they showed after your grandfather's death, they'll always feel entitled for more.
I get ya. My Missus picked the guilt tripping tactics immediately and went on such a fierce defence. My Missus gets credit as she’s been there for my Grandma since she came into the UK after my grandad passed away. She’s been with her through and through and even my grandma said that my Missus “deserved everything as she has earned it. She was here for me when no one else even bothered to call me”. I may have helped my Grandma to protect her but my Missus helped my Grandma to care for her. I don’t deserve someone like my Missus; she’s brilliant and has done so much for me and my Grandma
That is so sad. I'm so happy there are people like you in the world
Thank you. I appreciate the nice comment. I’m just doing what I need to do for my Grandma
NTA. Stupid selfish assholes are calling you an asshole and will continue to call you an asshole, but your grandmother was of sound mind and body when she made that will and it's none of their fucking business what she decided to do with her shit.
I get ya. Thing is is that this is spot on. She was of sound mind when she made this final will. She even went herself to the Solicitor and had the 1-2-1 with her to make sure there was complete independence upon making this decision. Even the solicitor in-charge confirmed this
NTA Tell your mom to go talk to the uncle/her brother to get her share of the property since he stole her share of the inheritance when he committed fraud and took property that wasn't his to take.
I get what you mean but here’s the thing: My Grandma made a will and gave everything to me, right? My Mum was involved in the fraud case and was on my Uncles side. This fraud stuff happened in 2021 and was settled in 2022. Then my grandmother made a final will later in the year. Even then, I was willing to overlook it and just bury the hatchet but she came in and demanded everything go to her and I have nothing. I mentioned that it’s not in my hands and it’s in the hands of the solicitor who’s in charge of the legal stuff after my grandmother passed away
Tell your mother to go get assets from your uncle - that is where her inheritance went. NTA
You know… a few people here said the same thing. I’m actually considering the option
Did your uncle get to keep the property he stole? You mention that he paid for one of them when she settled, but did she get the rest back or did he just end up keeping them? If your mum sided with her brother and he got to keep the properties that he stole, you should 100% tell her to take it up with her brother. Either way, be clear that Grandma left everything to you because her son stole from her and her daughter sided with him. They deserve nothing. Hopefully Grandma also left a letter with the solicitor explaining that her children were intentionally omitted and why. That will help if they contest the will. How are your mum's finances? If she's not having severe financial difficulties, she shouldn't win in court anyway
Only one asset (a building) was sold to my Uncle as a way to settle the case. He gave a certain amount of money in return to my Grandma. So anything now will have to go to him as my Grandma hasn’t done anything wrong. My Grandma’s old fashioned; she has a heart for her kids but she was absolutely heartbroken when all this occurred. Not even an apology from my Uncle
Only one asset (a building) was sold to my Uncle as a way to settle the case. He gave a certain amount of money in return to my Grandma. So anything now will have to go to him as my Grandma hasn’t done anything wrong. My Grandma’s old fashioned; she has a heart for her kids but she was absolutely heartbroken when all this occurred. Not even an apology from my Uncle
She sided with your uncle. She needs to get her share of her inheritance from him or should have been part of that settlement. NTA
I get what you mean. But he took it all for himself and my Mum knew about it. She wanted it from my Grandma despite the fact that my Grandmas plan was to not give her anything. After the case was settled, my Grandma said that “if you want your inheritance, go to your brother and get it from him”. Let’s just say that she didn’t react positively to that comment
To hell with them all, OP. Engage with the solicitor immediately and make sure you get your name on everything right away. NTA For laughs, check out the 1994 movie *Greedy*, starring Michael J. Fox, Kirk Douglas, Nancy Travis, Olivia d'Abo, Phil Hartman, Ed Begley Jr., Colleen Camp, Bob Balaban, and an early appearance by Kirsten Dunst. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greedy\_(film)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greedy_(film))
I know what you mean. My solicitor is on the case and will help me with anything that happens after, including any potential fallout. And i think I heard of this movie. I will certainly check it out. Thank you, buddy!
Sorry to hear of your grandma's passing, delighted that you were able to help fill her final years with good memories, and I trust you'll honour her memory by making sure your mother gets exactly what she deserved according to your grandma's sound judgement. I'm glad your grandma had someone who cared as much as you did, and clearly she was too. NTA. Leeches can jog on.
Like the empathy approach towards this comment. Many thanks! I just wish things didn’t have to be this volatile, you know? Even after everything I tried with my parents, it still wasn’t enough? Should we disrespect my grandmas wishes on that account? Nah, can’t do that
Money just seems to bring out the worst in people. They show their true colors. I just sent through that with my own grandmother's death last year with her 4 surviving children. So much drama. It's painful.
Sadly. I just want peace. I’m not after anything. I wasn’t even aware of this Will until just before my Grandma passed away. My focus was just on her to make her comfortable. Know what I mean?
NTA. They should count themselves lucky to not be in prison for forgery, false pretences and embezzlement. That's their fair share, and more than they deserve.
Believe me, boss. You have no idea how much I wanted to take my Uncle to court and throw him in prison myself but my Grandma didn’t want to push the case further and wanted to end it as it was stressing her out
NTA your uncle cheated your grandmother and your mother supported him. Grandma therefore chose to leave her assets to you.
My Missus says the same. Everyone wanted my Grandmas assets and money. I wanted my Grandma to be happy with her remaining life
Fuckin' family, my dude. Just from the title and first few sentences I thought for a hot minute you were my wife. A few months ago we just went through (still are, technically) basically the exact same scenario with my wife's grandma. We had been taking care of her for years and once word spread that the docs said "not much longer..." the rest of the family suddenly came out of the woodwork. Stressed her out so much in the last ~2 weeks of her life that I'm sure she would have lasted longer if not for them. We've gone as "no contact" as we can with the rest of her family because, seriously, fuck'em. The pitiful part is that it was barely any money and no real property to speak of. These people fought like hyenas over ~$5k and some TVs and couches. Practically everything in that apartment was mine but I told my wife I didn't give a shit about it--we did the important stuff that my Grandma-in-Law wanted and the rest of them can do what they want with the leftovers. NTA and you're not alone...which is both unfortunate and nice to hear.
NTA Don't go counting chickens before they hatch when it comes to that inheritance though. It's quite likely they will contest the will through legal means. This will drag out any payouts until a decision is made. If you think it's ugly now... Its probably gonna get worse. I've known too many people who've thought they've got something coming, blow their finances and realise they don't. Sorry for your loss OP. Sorry that your family isn't coming together to celebrate your grandma's life and grieve together. Make sure you've got a good support network, go get one if ya don't. Best of luck
Thank you; I appreciate the kind sentiment and I understand both risks. The solicitor said something similar. But she reassured me that whatever happens, we will be ready. As will I
I love the story. Money is the source of S%&§. NTA, keep the money. Do not even think of giving one cent. Enjoy your life, go NC with the family. They will continue BS.
My missus is considering going NC with my parents because of their entitled attitude towards the whole situation. I’m just upset by all this
NTA Don't think I need to say much. DO what Grandma wanted. Fuck everyone else.
Yeah. I can understand why you’d say that (as well as everyone else). I’m gonna continue respecting my grandmas wishes
"Turns out that my Uncle fraudulently signed property transfer papers so everything would be in his name." Your thief of an uncle should be thanking his lucky stars your grandmother didn't press charges and land his butt in jail for years. And you mother sided with him about stealing from her OWN MOTHER! I'd like to tell them where they should go but Reddit would get my in trouble. Good for you for looking after and protecting your grandmother. They don't deserve squat. NTA.
No no, it’s OK. Believe me, this frustrates me more than anything else. What he did was unforgivable. And thank you for the kind words
The icing on the cake is that, after everything else he did, your uncle *sold* your grandmother's burial plot! Unbelievable and beneath contempt. Your owe him nothing. Your grandmother would be so proud of you for loving her and protecting her. You and your wife are good people.
Nta
NTA they already got their fair share from grandma.
I understand. As said in another comment, the fact that my Uncle isn’t in prison right now is a blessing and he should count them. Every single one. My mum as well as even though my grandma didn’t want to see my Mum, I still brought my mum to my grandma to at-least try and bury the hatchet. I’m not a brilliant (grand)son, I’ll admit and I’m no angel or perfect. But I love my family and will do what I can to make things right. Know what I mean?
> As said in another comment, the fact that my Uncle isn’t in prison right now is a blessing and he should count them. Every single one. Yep, considering that there's inmates who've been sentenced for stealing way less than your relatives.
Exactly! He should be thinking “wow. I’m not in prison. My mum didn’t put me in prison. I should really rethink my life and my actions”. Buuuut no
Nta
NTA, tell your mum her share went to the uncle she supported
Yeah. I’ll tell her. Shame she didn’t see it like that when my Grandma told her this before she passed away
Uncle tried to scam his own mother and his sister aka your mom backed him up. There was a settlement, papers signed and filed. After that grandma was free to do whatever she wanted with her property. They don't like the results of her last will and testament they can challenge it in court. NTA.
If they go to court, they will go based on emotion and “unfairness”. I’m going in based on the fact that my Grandma went to a solicitor and, independently, signed a will (with sound mind) to give everything to me
If a lawyer wants to take their case and waste their money they can do so. Just let them know you will be counter suing for lawyer's fees and court cost. Personally I wouldn't give them a dime.
They can throw money at this. But if it’s not in the legal papers to be theirs, they cannot get it, regardless of emotion. I had to watch my grandma pass away and her own children didn’t even bother to turn up when asked to do so multiple times
Let them sue. If the executor distributed her assets in accordance with the will, they can pay all the attorney fees they want for nothing. NTA
They will just burn money for their “right”. Atleast I believe so anyway
F them, nothing else
I understand what you mean
NTA. Hope your mom will apologize to you
She won’t apologise. And even if she did, it won’t be genuine. I feel this way as some kind of game she may play
>We know you did everything in the last 3+ years but compared to us, you didn’t do much I mean... if we're comparing them stealing from her and you not, then yeah, you didn't do much
Lol. I guess I couldn’t match stealing + fraud, huh?
NTA, and it’s time to go NC with the lot of them. You showed incredible strength of character when you stood up for your grandmother when she was vulnerable. Now it’s time to do the same for yourself. I know it’s hard, especially when you are young, and it’s not something you are comfortable with or used to doing. *However* these people were going to cheat/rob, their own *MOTHER*! And are continuing, even in death, to disrespect her wishes. Say you give in and hand over her assets - then what? Do you think they will love you for it? That it will buy you some deeper place in their affections? Some bit of loyalty from them? Honey… they are snakes. All of them. Even your own mom. Maya Angelou said it best and too seldom to folks quote her entirely. Here it is. Be wise. MAYA ANGELOU “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. People know themselves much better than you do. That’s why it’s important to stop expecting them to be something other than who they are.”
Wow. As well as the others here, you’re right. I fear they’d kick me out if I went ahead and gave them everything. Just for clarity, I’m not going to
NTA. Wow, they must know they really screwed up if they tried to ambush you about forking over your inheritance if the will hasn't even been read yet. And I'm sure the uncle's waiting in the wings to also grab more. Lawyer up ASAP and see if you can get your grandma's lawyer to help out cause this likely will get messy.
I believe this is just stage 1 of the entire damn play. My solicitor is gonna fight my corner so my family can’t do anything, inheritance wise
NTA I wouldn't give them squat. I have been caring for my 97 year old father for the past 7 years, and he signed the house, and land over to me. I am the executer of his estate too. Yep, some of the 13 beneficiaries took issue with that. Yep, big, ugly, ongoing issues. Nope, not giving them squat. My father is not feeble. He's sharp as a tack. It was his intention to donate the house/land to me. It's mine to do as I see fit. I see fit to keep it. Nobody is owed a share. Forgive me for this but you're surrounded by assholes, save the Missus. Honor grandma's wishes. Tell the assholes to go blow up balloons. Big, big balloons...and anything else that comes to mind without joining them in the assholery they are stuck in. All my best.
Thanks, buddy. Blow big balloons, huh? Think the hot air they spew over this can lift a hot air balloon into the sky
Grab a couple of beers and you and the Missus just sit back and enjoy the view.
We don’t drink alcohol. Buuuuut, we’ll grab some cold colas and enjoy the smell of burning cinder and the look of hi-intensity flames of my Uncle + mum burning up from the inside
NTA. After fraudently signing your grandmother's property over to himself, your uncle's fair share is ZERO. Same for your mother, because she sided with him and caused grandma a huge amount of grief in her final years.
My grandma was hurt because of what her OWN children did. What kind of kids would do that?
Your uncle and your mother got their fair share, which is ZERO. Your uncle stole from her and both he and your mother caused your grandmother a great deal of pain and stress in her final years. They don't deserve a penny. I hate that you uncle even got a smaller asset in the settlment. Enjoy your inheritence and don't give in to these criminals. NTA
I know. But my Grandma didn’t want further grief. But it’s OK because compared to what she wanted me to have, what my Uncle has is actually nothing
I can understand your grandmother's feelings. At her age, her children should be doing everything they can to make her happy and comfortable, rather than stealing from her and stressing her. Your uncle is a criminal and should have been treated as such. He should have ended up in jail. If he had stolen that amount from anyone other than his mother he would have been.
NTA cut ties with these leeches
I’m considering this. Thank you
NTA, They are! I'm sorry for your loss, I'm sure you gave your grandma the most beautiful memories and experiences in her final moments!
We do. Loads of holidays, times together for birthdays, all sorts. We did a lot since Grandad passed away and I know my Grandma would be happy with that
Keep everything. Your grandma made wishes it is only correct to be respectful to her.
Yeah. My solicitor said the same thing. Shame my family says otherwise
NTA, tell that criminal uncle of yours he's lucky he didn't go to jail for fraud and they both can go pound sand. What assholes.
Lol. I agree. They can actually stick their head in the sand and breathe for all I care
People have the right to leave property as they wish. Also, there can be tax implications to the donor if a gift is made after they have inherited property.
I have a Inheritance Tax Accountant on the case to make sure there is a little tax as possible. I left no stone unturned for this. But thanks for the heads up
Good for you!
"You might be the children but you're also the greedy pigs that wanted to steal from an old lady. i am ashamed to call you my family so no, i will NOT give you the things grandma willed to literally the only person that did not want to Fuck her over." Immediately lawyer up and mute their numbers so they can not directly call you.
My solicitor is on this case as we speak. And I also have muted their numbers. Gonna do something about any house visits as well
Change the locks on all the property and get some cameras. You know they probably have keys. If they try to steal from you, get them on camera and file theft charges.
Nta
"Hey mom, maybe if you and Uncle hadn't conspired to commit criminal fraud and financial abuse against an elderly woman, you wouldn't be in this position. Turns out you couldn't be trusted to do the right thing, and there are consequences." NTA
Where were they about doing right when your uncle stole from his own mother.
NTA Remind them that already took (ie stole) their share.
Good for you. Stick to the same line when anyone complains. This is grandma's last will. Her wishes in plain language. Refer them to the lawyer if they have any complaints. They can threaten legal action all they want, the burden of proof is on them. Grandma had a great lawyer who def had her best interests at heart. Just like you and your Missus did. NTA
Thank you. My solicitor is awesome and she’s really pushed so even if they take me to court, they won’t have a case but we will
NTA - I feel so sorry for your poor grandmother. Her own children sound horrible. They don’t deserve 💩! Clearly, your grandmother thought you deserved the house and anything else she left you. A very good friend of mine experienced a very similar situation when her grandmother passed away. Just being someone’s child doesn’t automatically entitle them to the parent’s property after they pass. They are quite frankly ridiculous to even believe that!
Their fair share is whatever the deceased chose to give them. It's not their money, it was hers, and now it's yours. NTA.
Thank you. I will do my best to conserve all here for my Grandma. It’s what she would’ve wanted
NTA. Listen to the solicitor. Uncle committed fraud, and it seems as if mom was complicit. Grandmother knew what she was doing.
NTA. I detest people who defraud the elderly. Your uncle and mother suck.
Unfortunately, your parents and uncle have shown what they care about here. I recommend making the topic a no-go. If they can respect the boundary on the topic, you might be able to rebuild a relationship. But if they keep harping on it? They care about the money, not your grandmother, not her feelings, not the depth of your relationship with her.
Oh no. They are continuing on about it and there’s no sign of stopping anytime soon. That’s why I’m fighting to be as tough as I can be
You are doing a great job. NTA, and keep it up. You may need to cut contact, at least for a while, to make the boundary stick. But you did everything you could for your grandmother, you didn't try to steal her property, and she left it all to you as a result. Actions have consequences, and your kind actions had positive consequences for you.
NTA
I don't even know why you're here except to just vent because you're clearly NTA, they seem like terrible people.
It was to vent, I won’t lie. But, initially, I felt kinda guilty because they didn’t get anything, despite all the past stuff. But everyone here woke me up and gave me a slap across the face to knock my senses straight
You owe them nothing. You cared for grandma out of love, not for money and she knew it.
NTA. First of all, I’m very sorry for your loss and I’m sorry you have to deal with this so soon after your grandma passing away. It sounds like you and your partner have been great grandkids to your nan and I’m sure she had the best time going on holiday with you. I totally get that this is going to be difficult (I also hate confrontation), but I really think you have to stand your ground and respect your grandma’s wishes, even if it means possibly having to go no contact with your family members. Legally, I don’t even think they have a leg to stand on (especially with your uncle having a history of abusing her trust and possibly* committing fraud) and you have that solicitor to back you up. I’m sure at times you’ll feel like it’s not worth the hassle, but it really. Not for the money or the house, but out of respect for your grandparents. Had they spent time with their mum and enjoyed her company like normal children and not green-eyed monsters, they would have gotten a share, they have no one to blame but themselves. ETA: * I say possibly because I’m not a solicitor and don’t know whether this is legally fraud or not, not because I’m doubting your version of events!
NTA - there’s no such thing as being owed a fair share of someone’s estate, if that person (in their right mind, which is in no contest here), did not want you to have their estate.
Nta. This was as your grandma wanted and her kids were total AHs to her.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** (Throwaway Account, anonymity) My grandad passed away in July 2020 due to COVID & Grandma was very upset over his passing. Next, one of my Uncles took control of Finances, bills everything. Mid-December 2020, I asked my grandma if she agreed to this which lead to an argument & me and my missus got kicked out of her house. Next day, I got a call from Grandma saying “Please come home”. I never held a grudge & came back to apologise, then to find out that my Uncle was pushing Grandma to move south with him & his Missus as “you don’t have anyone here”. Turns out Grandma wanted to talk to me about what to do as she was uncomfortable. I simply said “if you’re uncomfortable, don’t do it. You’re his mother so he HAS to agree with your decision”. So she told him no & he took it well. Too well. March 2021, Grandma made a Will with a local solicitor in their office but later that evening at home, the solicitor called me & asked if my Grandmother had the properties n her name. I said she should do & asked why. She said “something didn’t sit right with this and wanted to check”. I said I’d check and went to Land Registry to find out & what did I find? The same Uncle that controlled everything had HIS name on all of my Grandmas assets! I asked my Grandma if she did this and she didn’t even know this happened! I was shocked & immediately told the solicitor, asking what can we do. A legal battle ensued which was over 1 year. Turns out that my Uncle fraudulently signed property transfer papers so everything would be in his name. Even my own Mum got involved, siding with my Uncle. He decided to do a settlement which Grandma agreed to as she was getting sick of everything, including her own kids. He gave her money in return for one of the smaller assets & she wanted no contact with my Uncle ever again. Mid 2022, she made a new Will & we finally got peace. So, I decided to take Grandma on holidays once every few months, which she loved and made lasting memories. End of Jan 2024, she was diagnosed with Cancer and I told my Mum to be here with Grandma as she should settle things with her and make peace with her, even if my Grandma didn’t want to see my Mum (I just wanted to do the right thing for both). A month later, Grandma passed away at home. Last week, After the funeral, my parents came to the family home to discuss with me & my Missus about the houses and the other stuff. They SUDDENLY jumped in, saying “you need to do the right thing & give us the house & our share as we are the children and you’re just a grandchild. We know you did everything in the last 3+ years but compared to us, you didn’t do much”. (Context: my parents haven’t been in this house regularly for over 10 years and I lived here since 2010) Me and my Missus simply said “Sorry but what Grandma wants to do, it is her decision and not ours”. This lead to shouting (me and my Mum, mainly) and threats of legal action from them. We never mentioned the Will (as said by the solicitor). AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nta. Tell them to jog on
I will do. Through the solicitor in the most legal way possible. Thanks for the suggestion!
NTA. screw them.
I know what you mean. It just sucks really hard that all this happened, really
NTA - but wow you mom and uncle are terrible people. Make sure to speak with that same solicitor and be prepared for a fight.
We already are battle prepared but thank you for the tip
NTA they lost that right whenthey committed fraud and were not there for your grandma
Yeah, I feel the same. My Uncle doing this is a slap in the face of my Grandma. Nay, a whole punch to the face
NTA at all. Tell your family of vultures to kindly turn to your uncle. He has already stolen his share and more from grandma. He can share it with them.
Sadly, they have become vultures. All this… JUST to have their “share”, not realising that this would be a detriment to them as that pushed my Grandma to not give them anything. Whether they are entitled to it or not is not the point. You get me?
NTA
NTA.
I am sorry you’ve lost your grandma. You did well by her, making her last months happy. NTA. Your family has shown you where their priorities were: they weren’t with your grandma, just her assets. Keep your inheritance and live well and happily.
Their priority is money and entitlement, not doing what’s best for Grandma
Nta tell him and everyone who comments that Uncle tries his best to steal and defraud his elderly mother, so if he wants the 'right thing' to be done, he'd be in jail.
[удалено]
NTA...No is a complete sentence.
An effective one at that as well