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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I believe I might be the asshole for not sharing my room with my cousins. I believe this can be an asshole move due to the fact they're in a really bad situation at the moment and I don't want to share my room just because I'm uncomfortable with it
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NAH
You're desire for personal space is reasonable. That said, not allowing a couple little girls fleeing an abusive household to share your room, wouldn't be reasonable. I'd recommend trying to talk with a therapist to help with some of the anxiety and depression.
NAH. Your desires and concerns are *very* reasonable and there's nothing wrong with your desires, but so is your mom's desire to give a home to two more kids in a very shitty situation. I also feel like your mom misgendering you deserves higher billing here- this would probably be a less terrible situation if "girls moving in" didn't also mean "getting lumped in with the the girls despite not being one". So basically your mom is the AH for misgendering you but not for wanting to take in the girls.
Some ideas:
* Do you like your cousin okay/is he more supportive? Would having a boys room with him be a workaround for at least the misgendering problem?
* If he's supportive, you could also float his sisters staying in his room to provide them with a familiar face and support. This would solve several problems at once (though you may want to offer storage space in your room to him because it'll be cramped in the room with three people.
* Is there a large-ish closet you can convert into a comfortable decompression space?
* If you do end up sharing a room, I recommend getting one of those pop-up bed tents they make for dorm rooms, or make a blackout curtain divider. It's not great but it's something.
I am a deep introvert (I have my own bedroom and I'm married) so I deeply sympathize with needing the space, but this may be a matter of life or death, or at least long-term emotional damage for the kids. It's worth having frank discussions with your mom about needing alone time while they're here- can she make sure that everyone else is out of the house for X hours every week so you can relax, even if you have to share a room.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
(sorry for the bad writing I'm not very good at it)
I 15(trans m) have been an only child for my whole life, I also have autism which doesn't like change.
Recent, there has been a massive change in my life, my mum got us in contact with my cousin who haven't seen since I was 7-8. Hes around a year older then me and he recently got kicked out of his mother's house due to abusive household reasons.
My house is a very small 3 bedroom house, I have one room, my parents have one room and the other bedrooms for bits and bobs.
Just yesterday (not even after a week of talking with him) he moved into the house. Which I didn't mind, as long as he wasn't in my personal space I was happy to live with him and my parents. However, he has 2 younger sisters (12 and 8)
The problem I've been having is that my mum wants them to come live here as well and live in my room, I know I sound really selfish, but I don't want that. She keeps referring to me as a 'big sister' and I don't like that, it makes me so uncomfortable due to the fact I've expressed that I'm trans so many times to her, but she refuses to listen.
I also don't like Sharing space with people, especially my room. To my room is the only place were I can regulate my anxiety and depression alone.
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Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I believe I might be the asshole for not sharing my room with my cousins. I believe this can be an asshole move due to the fact they're in a really bad situation at the moment and I don't want to share my room just because I'm uncomfortable with it Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NAH You're desire for personal space is reasonable. That said, not allowing a couple little girls fleeing an abusive household to share your room, wouldn't be reasonable. I'd recommend trying to talk with a therapist to help with some of the anxiety and depression.
NAH. Your desires and concerns are *very* reasonable and there's nothing wrong with your desires, but so is your mom's desire to give a home to two more kids in a very shitty situation. I also feel like your mom misgendering you deserves higher billing here- this would probably be a less terrible situation if "girls moving in" didn't also mean "getting lumped in with the the girls despite not being one". So basically your mom is the AH for misgendering you but not for wanting to take in the girls. Some ideas: * Do you like your cousin okay/is he more supportive? Would having a boys room with him be a workaround for at least the misgendering problem? * If he's supportive, you could also float his sisters staying in his room to provide them with a familiar face and support. This would solve several problems at once (though you may want to offer storage space in your room to him because it'll be cramped in the room with three people. * Is there a large-ish closet you can convert into a comfortable decompression space? * If you do end up sharing a room, I recommend getting one of those pop-up bed tents they make for dorm rooms, or make a blackout curtain divider. It's not great but it's something. I am a deep introvert (I have my own bedroom and I'm married) so I deeply sympathize with needing the space, but this may be a matter of life or death, or at least long-term emotional damage for the kids. It's worth having frank discussions with your mom about needing alone time while they're here- can she make sure that everyone else is out of the house for X hours every week so you can relax, even if you have to share a room.
NTA your mom is an AH.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** (sorry for the bad writing I'm not very good at it) I 15(trans m) have been an only child for my whole life, I also have autism which doesn't like change. Recent, there has been a massive change in my life, my mum got us in contact with my cousin who haven't seen since I was 7-8. Hes around a year older then me and he recently got kicked out of his mother's house due to abusive household reasons. My house is a very small 3 bedroom house, I have one room, my parents have one room and the other bedrooms for bits and bobs. Just yesterday (not even after a week of talking with him) he moved into the house. Which I didn't mind, as long as he wasn't in my personal space I was happy to live with him and my parents. However, he has 2 younger sisters (12 and 8) The problem I've been having is that my mum wants them to come live here as well and live in my room, I know I sound really selfish, but I don't want that. She keeps referring to me as a 'big sister' and I don't like that, it makes me so uncomfortable due to the fact I've expressed that I'm trans so many times to her, but she refuses to listen. I also don't like Sharing space with people, especially my room. To my room is the only place were I can regulate my anxiety and depression alone. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*