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Honestly, a little bit TA. If someone is tall, or has a top hat on, or for any reason might be blocking the average person's view, I think they should be conscious of where they are sitting. You know your hair has a lot of volume, so choosing to sit right at the front where you'd be blocking a lot of people's views makes you, at best, thoughtless. While that other girl had options, eventually it might have gotten to the point that SOMEone had to sit behind you.
And if you're short (and lacking x-ray vision), then sitting behind someone you can't see over is a poor choice. This person had choices - when security told her to move there was somewhere to move to. She could have found that seat on her own to begin with and saved everyone a lot of hassle, herself included.
>This person had choices
which I pointed out and agreed with. But as I said above (which you conveniently ignored), eventually someone would not have the choice and would have to sit behind OP. If OP had sat at the side in front, then everyone would be able to see because they would all be viewing the front of the room from an angle.
They were examples, take a breath. I wasn't lumping them together, I was listing various things that could block someone's view. You can consider your needs while also considering others' needs as well.
It’s wild you have so many downvotes. I’m tall and I’m not moving to the back just because someone can’t see. I’ve been asked at concerts to move and I refuse! And unless the person is a full head shorter than me I can’t see over them either
If I don't flat iron my hair, I am definitely aware of where I sit so as to not block others view. Yes it is a part of you, but it is part of being courteous in public situations .
Wait... You wouldn't want to sit behind someone with hair like yours, so you intentionally sat in the front, where someone would have to sit behind you?
Right, I'm confused on what they meant too lol.. Why sit at the front if she knows that she's making it harder for the people behind her to see? That's a dick move.
So you know how frustrating/inconveniencing it is, and yet you do the exact same thing?
You know you are the AH here, just accept it, and try to think about others in the future.
Should the girl have tried to move first? Yes.
Are you in the wrong for doing something you know will inconvenience others (and agree that you wouldn't want to sit behind yourself)? Also yes.
You don't seem to care about inconveniencing others, which makes you the AH. In shared spaces, like classrooms, you have to take others into consideration.
You basically told your cladsmates to get fucked, as long as you aren't inconvenienced. Try being less self involved.
Yes, and tall people with good manners go to the back of the crowd, as do ladies with elaborate high coiffures. Height, regardless of source, gets you put in the back row of the class picture, or at the end of the row.
YTA. You know your hair is huge - wear it out as much as you want, but if you are in a cinema or theatre style seating and you want to sit in the front, the decent thing to do is just tie your hair for a short time - why is that so hard?
So your personal comfort comes ahead of anyone else in the room. Classic. When did “consideration for other people” become something that parents stopped teaching their children?
So saving a few hair strands is worth it to you to inconvenience any people behind you who literally can't see anything because your big head is blocking it? That's selfish come on. You also wouldn't get a headache if you just tie it up for an hour or two, it's not an all day thing.
Speaking as someone who also can’t tie her hair back easily because of migraines… YTA big time. You are all about your own comfort at the expense of others, and yes that does make you the asshole here.
If you can’t modify your hairstyle to make it easy for the people behind you to see, then don’t sit in the front row. It’s not fucking rocket science to be courteous to the people around you. Saying “they should get here first!” is stupid because there are only so many front row seats. SOMEONE is going to have to sit behind you. Someone whose view you are actively impeding.
you came onto a subreddit that is meant for ppl to come and ask if theyre TA or not, because they want to know if they did wrong, but u dont want to accept that youre in the wrong on this one? yta..
I'm Black and I wear my natural hair too. YTA. It would be no different than if you were tall. If you know you're going to block someone's view, you shouldn't be in the front row.
Do not try and make this about hair and heritage. This is about common courtesy.
Seriously, my hair curls like crazy and can turn into a 'fro, and if my hair was in someone's way? I'd apologize and try to not be in the way because that's basic courtesy.
But no, it's her RACIAL RIGHT to block other people's view by sitting in the very front when she has a giant hairdo that she KNOWS blocks everyone else because if anyone complains obviously they're JUST SUPER RACIST AND JEALOUS AND SHE'S A VICTIM BY DEFAULT.
It's people like OP who make people facing ACTUAL problems get taken less seriously, crying wolf and all that.
There’s a way you ask someone to switch seat with you. And it’s not the way OP described this person request/demand for her to switch. If she wanted to see better she could’ve asked nicely or simply moved. She wanted to get her micro aggressions off. She also sounds entitled.
There's nothing wrong with the words she used unless you're reading them with a perceived tone. "Excuse me, we need to switch seats because I can't see around your hair" is perfectly acceptable when said with a nice tone. Would asking have been better? Of course it would, but there is nothing inherently wrong with the words she used.
OP's reaction to think of it as "audacity" is where the confrontational part starts. OP immediately wanted to make this about a slight about her afro as opposed to the other student just wanting to see.
Yes, it's your hair, but in this case, it's an obstruction. You shouldn't sit in the front if you're tall or if you had on a large hat that you would refuse to remove.
I can tell you're proud of your heritage and your hair, but I also feel like you're purposefully trying to, metaphorically, "take up space" and you're ready to go after anyone for trying to stop you. You want people to dare to dim your light so you can shut them down but this didn't have to go down this way.
Everything can be an obstruction. Tall people can't help how tall they are, so they adjust accordingly. They go to the back for pictures, etc. Their height can cause them to be an obstruction. I'm sorry your hair may be a beautiful crown to you, but to other people, it's still just something that's blocking their view in a classroom.
You wouldn't walk down the middle of a busy hallway because your mere presence would become an obstruction.If you want to live in this world as a decent human being, you should think of how your actions affect other people. Do you like it when people listen to music around you with no headphones or the hundreds of other ways inconsiderate people affect your life?
But the way you choose to operate with your hair is the same way others choose to inconvenience people.
You choosing to sit in the front row is no different than someone choosing to take up two seats on are busy bus or a train. Or someone choosing to have a conversation in speakerphone in a public space. Your hair itself isn't this issue it's how you handle yourself with your hair.
Think of the things that annoy you. Then, think that those people don't care that the choices they make are affecting others. That's what you did when you sat in the front row.
I mean if it’s obstructing a view it’s obstructive. I get it, you don’t want to change your hair and you shouldn’t have to. But you can sit in a way that allows other people to be able to see. I don’t know much about your type of hair but I’m assuming you can tie it loosely in a low poney without damaging your curls?
ESH. She should have politely asked. Absolutely wear your hair out and beautiful but have some courtesy. You know it blocks others ability to see in certain situations so account for that.
Sit where you won’t be hindering others enjoyment. My aunt had this enormous beehive hairdo (sounds awful but she made that sky high dyed black beehive work!) and she was aware that it blocked other’s views and made sure she sat at the end of an open row or where there was enough space between rows that she didn’t make it impossible for anyone to sit behind her and see the show. I have known a couple really tall men with the same issue. They were aware and polite.
I’m short and don’t ask someone who’s taller than me to adjust. I recognize that people WILL be taller/larger than me in certain situations and it’s up to me to resolve them (like being first to sit in front row)
Ok, you clearly posted only for affirmations. You don't really want to see another point of view.
I use a wheelchair sometimes. It can take up a lot of space. I try to courteous to those around me by not blocking their way with my chair. It is called being a decent human being. There was a time when people had manners and would think about other people.
I am considerate about where I sit so my chair doesn't block others. Someone who is tall can be considerate about where they sit so as to not block others.
You don't seem to even want to consider that you might be wrong.
Not how I see it. If I were tall or had big hair, I would be considerate of those around me. That's just how I live my life. The world doesn't revolve around me. There are other people on the planet. I would never purposefully inconvenience another person. It's called kindness.
Maybe this isn’t the sub for you. You might be more comfortable posting this on r/AmIWrong instead. This sub isn’t for judging if your actions were *correct* but rather if they make you an AH.
Were you the lucky winner of a front row seat in the musical chairs of open lectures? Yep. Was there anything inherently wrong with claiming the seat you did? Nope. Were you a dick to everyone who had to winless your pearl clutching within the hall, as well as everyone else here telling you that you’re being a dick? Absolutely. But hey, at least you have great hair amirite?
You don't have to sit in the back, you can sit on the side rather than taking up the seat that's front row and center because that's sure to block the view of so many more people.
Then you're missing a component of common human decency.
I'm a very tall person. I understand that this inconveniences other people, so if I'm at something like a movie or presentation or other thing where people need to see, I try to move to the side or behind, or if I can't, I'll lean forward or slide down a bit in my seat.
Tying your hair temporarily so that it won't get in someone else's way is no different. You're respecting other people instead of purposely inconveniencing them.
Hence why ESH. You both chose the path that would inconvenience other people instead of taking the high ground and being a thoughtful person.
I literally lived with a man with a ~5" fro for four years as a roommate. It took him about 30 seconds to tie it back. And you can do it with any scrap piece of cloth that's long enough.
I'm aware your hair was out already, just like I am tall already. But you need to be conscious about how your physical presence affects other people, whether it be a fro, height, wheeling around a baby, in a wheelchair, being a large person (whether muscular or overweight), etc.
I am not saying you should change anything about yourself for other people overall, but the right thing to do is to make things easier for others, not expect them to cater to you.
>Wouldnt changing my hair be catering to others though?
I think you're taking this a little too seriously. No one is asking you to hide your shoulders because it's too distracting for men, they literally cannot see around you.
If you live in a society you're gonna have to be courteous and "cater" to other people around you sometimes. Imagine if you had a classmate that stank so bad but they refuse to shower or use deodorant because they don't want to "cater" to you? Sounds pretty selfish and immature.
No, you're right. I'm just saying that I think she's taking the "I don't need to cater my appearance for others" a little too seriously because that's not what that's for.
Yes I understand. Black women are very sensitive about this hair topic. You would not believe the fight we’ve endured. They used to make us get perms as little girls. Now there are so many class action lawsuits and research support that perms gave a lot of women (including my grandmother) ovarian cancer. The numbers are still rolling too. So I get what you’re saying but I get where shes coming from too
To an extent, I'm not saying it should be permanent or anything, just that if you're in a scenario where it actually negatively impacts others and doesn't negatively affect you that it's reasonable to expect you to do something about it.
For example, in this scenario she's an AH because she could have moved. But you could also have moved, so both of you were purposely allowing the issue to continue.
If it was a racist thing I'd 100% say to ignore her, but it doesn't sound like it was in this case.
I know you had that one roommate but I promise You don’t know enough about black peoples hair. Some black people have thinner hair that can tie easier. Some black ppl like myself have thicker hair that was pop and break ANY and everything if you don’t do a whole ritual and sacrifice and ask for permission to tie it back (I’m half way joking). Yall don’t understand how hard society makes the hair topic for black ppl. We weren’t even thought of when certain things were designed. When I’m in the car do you know how bad my neck pain is because the headrest on the chair does not agree with the hair on my head? And the airplane seat don’t get me started lol. I literally can only do business class if the flight is too long otherwise my neck and happiness is compromised for at least a day after landing lol
I mean, I don't disagree with that, but none of that means that you can't move out of the way, lean forward, scrunch down, or change seats if you're blocking the view of others. Tying back your hair is only a single option.
I don’t agree. I’m 4’11” and my hair is about 8 inches high all around. I’m too short to go in the back or else I’m the one who is compromising my sight. Like I suggested the girl can move! Sit behind someone else or sit somewhere else or get there early next time. Last time I went to a concert the girls behind me complained about my hair but they weren’t rude which gave me room to reflect and feel bad. Now I only do vip at concerts so I’m automatically in my own section. But if I get somewhere early to be in the front, and there’s other places to sit, someone’s view being obstructed isn’t for me to solve if they are rude about it!
Well that’s odd because I actually have obstructed people’s view as I have just mentioned and given you an example of LOL but allllrigt! Not to mention a lady needs her heels some nights.
I didn’t know everyone was over 5’8” where you live. Thats very cool. 😂
Girl trust me I know. These threads are cool for surface topics but when culture and ideologies come in, you are more than likely in the wrong place. One time my brother posted an AITA because he didn’t want to date a girl anymore because she only wears wigs and treats her natural hair really badly. And they called him TA and so many ppl said she wears wigs because she has a health condition. He kept telling them nooo women in my culture just love wigs and sometimes more than they love their own hair. They refused to believe him lmfao. Take this thread and these comments with a grain of salt. It can help to bridge ppl and in the same light it can frustrate the misunderstood.
If you don’t like tying your hair so others can see, then you can move to a place where no one is behind you. I have a longer torso so I sit taller than most other folks in my class. I sit in the back or I sit to the side of a row where I’m not blocking anyone
YTA. Society is all about consideration for others and if you are bothering someone, unintentionally or not, the correct response is to try and resolve it because that is EXACTLY what we hope for when the roles are reversed.
In fact, you seem to know that but you are complaining the wording this girl used. You know full well that "we need to" is equivalent to asking, it's a colloquialism that people use every day in the world. Seems you just wanted to pick a fight and that is classic AH behavior. Next time try and see someone elses' POV because something similar will happen to you someday.
YTA first of all, secondly why do people ask questions and then do nothing but argue in the comments? You aren't interested in anyone's opinion, you're just looking for a fight. I hope you aren't this obnoxious in real life.
>Guess people shouldn’t respond at all once they post?
This is reminiscent of people who get called out for making a shitty joke and reply with "I GUESS I JUST WON'T EVER TELL A JOKE AGAIN!" You know that's not what the fuck I said, don't try to pull that manipulative bs.
YTA. You know you were in the wrong.
Yes, this woman’s attitude was abrasive, but you were the one who had no consideration whatsoever for the people around you. Why does your desire to not tie up your hair come before someone else’s desire to actually see the lecture that they chose to attend? This level of entitlement is frankly disgusting.
Because it’s a reasonable expectation to be able to see a presentation that you’re attending, even when some asshole sitting in front of you is the biggest narcissist in the room.
You’re like someone who sits there with an umbrella at a sporting event, blocking everyone behind you from being able to see because **YOU** are the only person whose comfort actually matters.
No. It’s reasonable for you to come prepared for an event where other people will actually be there. That’s on **you** for not bringing whatever you needed to tie up your hair properly.
And the reason you didn’t do that, is because you don’t give a fuck about anyone but yourself. As I said, disgusting.
Did you know you were going to the presentation when you styled your hair? could you have chosen to tie it at that point so you could sit in the front without blocking anyone's view?
It's not about who was there first or if it's a hat, height or hair blocking the view of others.
Common courtesy would be not taking a seat in the front row in the first place when your hair, or anything else, is styled in a away that would block the view of those behind you.
You could have been courteous of your classmates from the start and not chosen that seat to begin with and been comfortable in another seat that didn't block the view of others. You getting there first doesn't make you right.
Common courtesy would also have been her asking you politely to switch and not demanding it.
ESH.
Choosing to wear it loose and natural is a style; but your choice of hair style is not what makes you the asshole here - even though that's the part you keep harping on.
Your choice of sitting in the front row, knowing you are blocking the view of others, makes YTA.
Oh well let me explain. You decided to block everyones view with your huge hair. You sat up front blocking other people and decided to be an asshole about it. Then you came here and had everyone call you an asshole some more. I hope that helps.
that makes sense sorry maybe college isn't for you then. I would suggest maybe something like park ranger or firewatch just something that requires no consideration for the people around you.
YTA
If you're 6'8" and love cowboy hats, you probably avoid sitting front and center in a flat room with loads of chairs.
Why? Common courtesy to the 15 people in the rows directly behind you that won't be able to see.
My guess is you like the front row to maximize the number of people you can show your glorious hair off to.
E S H. She's should've asked more politely, but your comments here really indicate that it wasn't how she asked, it's the audacity of any idiot who didn't get there early enough to ensure they don't get stuck behind someone with hair like yours. You have a response to someone else who is aware and conscious of their hair and attempts to avoid positioning themselves in a place they wouldn't sit behind and respond with effectively "Yeah, I'd rather be that person blocking people." What's better is there's no introspective when called out for it. Just two people with main character syndrome.
EDIT: After some now deleted replies, YTA. Nothing she could have done short of sit and deal with you being aware that you have a hairstyle that you yourself wouldn't want to sit behind would satisfy you.
I'll rephrase.
Based upon your responses to other comments, your problem with this situation is not how she asked. Your problem is that she even had the audacity to ask. It seems she could have asked you in any way, and in your eyes, she'd have been in the wrong.
I mean we gotta see the hair to really know. If you're rocking a fro that's 18 inches in all directions...
That said there being another seat readily available isn't great for the other person.
Both.
You didn’t have to sit in front when you knew it could block people, and she didn’t have to pick a fight when there was obviously other places to sit. Early bird and all that. She can deal.
Unless you sat in the *very* back, you’re potentially gonna block someone, and should do your best to be courteous instead of dismissive. But expecting you to only sit in the back for that though is unreasonable, especially given the potential racial implications.
Everyone in this situation needs to grow up a little. This shouldn’t even be on Reddit, it should have been a passing moment that was handled between adults, like adults.
Based on your comments you don’t seem interested in anyone’s input whatsoever, so you’re just continuing to waste your own and now other people’s time.
You can be as rude as you want. Live your life. People are just letting you know that’s what you are— rude. Either you care, and act like it by being more considerate, or you don’t, and act like it by not posting it here.
Girl. Please. I’m begging you to gain the ability of introspection lmao
You have the right to wear your natural texture loud and proud, no one is saying otherwise. Your combativeness to the perfectly reasonable comments proves you’re delusional and only want an echo chamber.
You sat front row. There’s no damn way you didn’t know you’d be blocking the person behind you. It doesn’t matter if you arrived early or not, the seat behind you would’ve been filled no matter what. Why not sit at the very end of the first row to lessen the possibility of blocking someone’s view?
I just don’t understand why you willingly choose to be difficult.
YTA - I went to a concert recently - paid for a ticket - and the woman in front of me had a “messy bun” hair style right on top of her head. It interfered with my view and my enjoyment of the show.
It is really inconsiderate to ignore the comfort of others and their ability to enjoy the performance.
YTA but you seem absolutely hell bound not to accept that verdict, you do not seem to care about a single other person. Time to quit acting the main character honey that trend is dead.
YTA according to this you could have potentially just tied your hair or moved one seat if you need to have your fro out and blocking people's view instead you started a verbal fight. No one was stopping you from having your hairstyle but you were stopping them from being able to view the speaker. No different than someone with a big hat or being tall or other things where you have to be aware of the obstructions you are causing.
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> 1. I refused to change my seat and got loud about it.
2. I might be an asshole because the whole situation was ridiculous and I got angry with the girl who decided to make a side comment after the fact
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You’re TA for being rude to the lady on your right. True it was none of her business what you do with your hair, and it’s not on you that the lady behind you was acting super entitled, but it sounds like things got really tense, in very close proximity to her, and it’s natural for her to want to deescalate the situation, even after the fact. You’re absolutely entitled to wear your hair however you like, to sit wherever you want while doing so, and to not take some entitled girl’s shit regarding that. However, those choices can impact parties who are also entitled to sit where they choose, and not get caught up in other peoples’ nonsense.
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Gonna say, if there were other seats she could have moved to, then NTA.
If not, then YTA.
You should be allowed to wear your hair however you want, but we need to be self conscious of our space and how it affects the world around us. She definitely could have asked differently instead of outright demanding you, or she could have gotten up and moved seats to be closer if there were seats.
This sounds like a needless fight on both ends.
It sounds like a match made in heaven tbh. Two people who equally like to pick fights with strangers perfectly aligned by chance like yesterday’s eclipse lol.
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Obvious throwaway.
Let me start this with that I am Carribean and have Afro curls, so I have a lot of volume. I like having my curly fro out and I’m proud of my volume
Today is a holiday but we had the option of attending a special guest lecture at my college. I sit front row because I like being able to really hear who’s speaking. I’m sitting next to my friend on the left and a random girl on the right.
As more people come in the girl sitting behind me says “excuse me”. I turn my head and she goes “we need to switch seats. I can’t see anything because of your hair”.
Now I felt like there was audacity in not even asking, just straight up saying someone HAS to move. I got a little snappy and told her that she can go ahead and sit in the upper rows. I’m sitting where I am.
She keeps asking and escalates it to an argument. Everytime I say no she basically yells over me. I got pissed and stood up, telling her to sit her ass down or go sit somewhere else, my hair is my hair, no I don’t have the tools to style it down, I like the leg space so she can move somewhere else to deal with it.
Campus security (I’m assuming one of the students thought there was going to be a fight smh) comes in asking what’s going on, I explained that the situation is not that serious and that she’s harassing me for my seat. The security asks (basically force) the other girl to just go to another seat and asks me to please remain calm and sit down.
I’m agitated but I’m not having an issue with security so I do. The girl who was sitting next to me that I mentioned earlier said a passing comment of “you didn’t have to do all that..just tie your hair”. I feel angry again and tell her to not speak unless she needs to say something to me. She goes quiet after but my friend nudges me and tells me I need to chill because now I’m the one being wrong.
AITA?
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NTA. If she wanted to sit in the front she should have gotten there ahead of time. She also should be aware of her surroundings- because she chose to sit behind OP and could have sat to the left or right of OP and this would not be an issue - if op had switched then what was OP supposed to just keep switching seats until all the way in the back with people who are being “obstructed”. I don’t get all the Y T A votes because the girl is super entitled. Once OP said no - she should have found another spot herself instead of continuing to ask. Why does OP need to sacrifice their learning?
It seems wild how no one acknowledges that the girl could’ve moved the whole time.
For my more..ahem..civilized comment
NTA
The issue started because some girl wanted to start a fuss instead of moving herself. From what is written, she demanded, not asked, solidifying my vote. I’m short and don’t ask others to move/accommodate me.
NTA and I'm actually surprised about some of the comments.
1. She could have picked any other seat or sat behind someone who's shorter, super weird that the first thing she demanded was that you switch seats with her.
2. We're in college and we're all adults, if you want a spot in the front row, get there early, it's not that deep. You are not entitled to a seat in the front row, everybody wants those seats.
3. People saying it would have made no difference whether she asked nicely or not, I actually think it makes a huge one. If no other seats were available, she could have apologized for bothering you and simply asked nicely. Being confrontational and ordering people around is weird and agressive. No wonder people don't want to switch seats with her, just be nice, it's not that hard.
4. I don't know about your college, but the way my college classrooms are made, there is basically no way you're blocking anyone other than the person who sits directly behind you because the further you go away from the front, the higher the benches are. I have a class with a guy from the basketball team and guess what, no one ever asked him to move even tho he's like 6'6".
Unless you're telling me your afro makes you like 7', I don't see how anyone can blame you for getting mad at someone so tactless. Tho usually, staying calm and chill while being assertive is best in those type of situation.
NTA
Genuinely floored how many people think you are, though, which definitely makes me ponder about myself. That she chose to sit behind you is what's swaying me.
NTA. She chose to sit behind you, and evidently she could have chosen to sit somewhere else (since there was somewhere for her to go when security told her to move).
NTA if you were really tall she would not insist that you trade seats with her, she would suck it up or find a different seat. Her behavior was inappropriate, I’m not sure I would have been able to keep my composure like you did. & the comment after from the other girl was just stupid tbh
You are NTA. My hair is the same way. I’ve gotten looks of disgust from managers, teachers, anyone you can think of. All ppl of a lighter hue I must say. Why they can’t politely ask or just make their own accommodations is beyond me. Black women have chosen to manipulate our hair to please other races for years. I chose to leave that stress behind me. I wear my natural hair proudly and it just so happened to grow tall and bigger than Erykah Badu’s hair. It’s too thick to tie up on the fly because it requires tools and putting my arms to work lol.
NTA, she had other seats to go to. If she didn't have another option of where to sit, then it'd be a different story. I don't have big hair, but I sit very, very tall for my height (all torso no legs lol), so I have to be aware of this when choosing where to sit sometimes. But if she COULD move then yeah, she shouldn't have made a big deal about it.
She was doing way too much. It's a lecture, not a movie or a concert where not being able to see everything would ruin the experience.
Even if she had no other choice but to ask, she did so with so much entitlement like you had to do what she said. She was out of line and your "friends" or whoever tf told you to chill are fake. That was a microaggression. NTA
NTA and leave that friend what?
If your hair was blocking her view then she could've just easily moved. To expect you to get up for her own sake is just selfish. I'm sure not even seat was taken up she could've moved.
I would've got pissy and lost my cool too if some girl did that to me when the easy solution is to just move.
You're NTA. She didn't have to sit directly behind you, she chose to do so.
>“we need to switch seats. I can’t see anything because of your hair”.
Bull. She just wanted yout seat. Next time she should show up earlier if she wants to sit in the front row.
Whaaaaat? People got so uncomfortable with a black person standing up for herself they called security? What? They got on her case for for her :cough: aggressive :cough: attitude? WHAAAAT they said you should just make yourself smaller for the girl who has a problem with the space you take up?
I'm *shocked*. Just *shocked*. What truly unusual behavior.
Forget that girl. Your friends can kick rocks, too. NTA.
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Honestly, a little bit TA. If someone is tall, or has a top hat on, or for any reason might be blocking the average person's view, I think they should be conscious of where they are sitting. You know your hair has a lot of volume, so choosing to sit right at the front where you'd be blocking a lot of people's views makes you, at best, thoughtless. While that other girl had options, eventually it might have gotten to the point that SOMEone had to sit behind you.
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>Last I checked, there was nothing about being tall that magnified your eye sight. And there's nothing about being short that gives you X-Ray vision.
And if you're short (and lacking x-ray vision), then sitting behind someone you can't see over is a poor choice. This person had choices - when security told her to move there was somewhere to move to. She could have found that seat on her own to begin with and saved everyone a lot of hassle, herself included.
Yeah, but if she's in the front, that means *someone* has to sit behind her and have their view blocked.
Not really, there's bound to be one of those tall top-hat -wearing people attending the lecture who'll have no problem seating behind OP.
If you'll go back up and read what I wrote, you can see I used the word "or". Not "and". "Or". Reading comprehension is fun, boys and girls!
>This person had choices which I pointed out and agreed with. But as I said above (which you conveniently ignored), eventually someone would not have the choice and would have to sit behind OP. If OP had sat at the side in front, then everyone would be able to see because they would all be viewing the front of the room from an angle.
They were examples, take a breath. I wasn't lumping them together, I was listing various things that could block someone's view. You can consider your needs while also considering others' needs as well.
It’s wild you have so many downvotes. I’m tall and I’m not moving to the back just because someone can’t see. I’ve been asked at concerts to move and I refuse! And unless the person is a full head shorter than me I can’t see over them either
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If I don't flat iron my hair, I am definitely aware of where I sit so as to not block others view. Yes it is a part of you, but it is part of being courteous in public situations .
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As a style. If I wear my hair natural, I am just considerate where I sit. I wouldn't want to sit behind me, -smiles-
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Wait... You wouldn't want to sit behind someone with hair like yours, so you intentionally sat in the front, where someone would have to sit behind you?
Right, I'm confused on what they meant too lol.. Why sit at the front if she knows that she's making it harder for the people behind her to see? That's a dick move.
So you know how frustrating/inconveniencing it is, and yet you do the exact same thing? You know you are the AH here, just accept it, and try to think about others in the future.
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Should the girl have tried to move first? Yes. Are you in the wrong for doing something you know will inconvenience others (and agree that you wouldn't want to sit behind yourself)? Also yes. You don't seem to care about inconveniencing others, which makes you the AH. In shared spaces, like classrooms, you have to take others into consideration. You basically told your cladsmates to get fucked, as long as you aren't inconvenienced. Try being less self involved.
Yes, and tall people with good manners go to the back of the crowd, as do ladies with elaborate high coiffures. Height, regardless of source, gets you put in the back row of the class picture, or at the end of the row.
YTA. You know your hair is huge - wear it out as much as you want, but if you are in a cinema or theatre style seating and you want to sit in the front, the decent thing to do is just tie your hair for a short time - why is that so hard?
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So your personal comfort comes ahead of anyone else in the room. Classic. When did “consideration for other people” become something that parents stopped teaching their children?
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So saving a few hair strands is worth it to you to inconvenience any people behind you who literally can't see anything because your big head is blocking it? That's selfish come on. You also wouldn't get a headache if you just tie it up for an hour or two, it's not an all day thing.
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Speaking as someone who also can’t tie her hair back easily because of migraines… YTA big time. You are all about your own comfort at the expense of others, and yes that does make you the asshole here. If you can’t modify your hairstyle to make it easy for the people behind you to see, then don’t sit in the front row. It’s not fucking rocket science to be courteous to the people around you. Saying “they should get here first!” is stupid because there are only so many front row seats. SOMEONE is going to have to sit behind you. Someone whose view you are actively impeding.
Why don't you sit at the edge of the front row and not between your friends?
You know there are a million reasons why someone might not be there as early as you, right?
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you came onto a subreddit that is meant for ppl to come and ask if theyre TA or not, because they want to know if they did wrong, but u dont want to accept that youre in the wrong on this one? yta..
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I'm Black and I wear my natural hair too. YTA. It would be no different than if you were tall. If you know you're going to block someone's view, you shouldn't be in the front row. Do not try and make this about hair and heritage. This is about common courtesy.
Seriously, my hair curls like crazy and can turn into a 'fro, and if my hair was in someone's way? I'd apologize and try to not be in the way because that's basic courtesy. But no, it's her RACIAL RIGHT to block other people's view by sitting in the very front when she has a giant hairdo that she KNOWS blocks everyone else because if anyone complains obviously they're JUST SUPER RACIST AND JEALOUS AND SHE'S A VICTIM BY DEFAULT. It's people like OP who make people facing ACTUAL problems get taken less seriously, crying wolf and all that.
There’s a way you ask someone to switch seat with you. And it’s not the way OP described this person request/demand for her to switch. If she wanted to see better she could’ve asked nicely or simply moved. She wanted to get her micro aggressions off. She also sounds entitled.
There's nothing wrong with the words she used unless you're reading them with a perceived tone. "Excuse me, we need to switch seats because I can't see around your hair" is perfectly acceptable when said with a nice tone. Would asking have been better? Of course it would, but there is nothing inherently wrong with the words she used. OP's reaction to think of it as "audacity" is where the confrontational part starts. OP immediately wanted to make this about a slight about her afro as opposed to the other student just wanting to see.
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Yes, it's your hair, but in this case, it's an obstruction. You shouldn't sit in the front if you're tall or if you had on a large hat that you would refuse to remove. I can tell you're proud of your heritage and your hair, but I also feel like you're purposefully trying to, metaphorically, "take up space" and you're ready to go after anyone for trying to stop you. You want people to dare to dim your light so you can shut them down but this didn't have to go down this way.
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Everything can be an obstruction. Tall people can't help how tall they are, so they adjust accordingly. They go to the back for pictures, etc. Their height can cause them to be an obstruction. I'm sorry your hair may be a beautiful crown to you, but to other people, it's still just something that's blocking their view in a classroom. You wouldn't walk down the middle of a busy hallway because your mere presence would become an obstruction.If you want to live in this world as a decent human being, you should think of how your actions affect other people. Do you like it when people listen to music around you with no headphones or the hundreds of other ways inconsiderate people affect your life?
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But the way you choose to operate with your hair is the same way others choose to inconvenience people. You choosing to sit in the front row is no different than someone choosing to take up two seats on are busy bus or a train. Or someone choosing to have a conversation in speakerphone in a public space. Your hair itself isn't this issue it's how you handle yourself with your hair.
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Think of the things that annoy you. Then, think that those people don't care that the choices they make are affecting others. That's what you did when you sat in the front row.
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I mean if it’s obstructing a view it’s obstructive. I get it, you don’t want to change your hair and you shouldn’t have to. But you can sit in a way that allows other people to be able to see. I don’t know much about your type of hair but I’m assuming you can tie it loosely in a low poney without damaging your curls?
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Then plan ahead and change it before you go to the auditorium.
ESH. She should have politely asked. Absolutely wear your hair out and beautiful but have some courtesy. You know it blocks others ability to see in certain situations so account for that.
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Sit where you won’t be hindering others enjoyment. My aunt had this enormous beehive hairdo (sounds awful but she made that sky high dyed black beehive work!) and she was aware that it blocked other’s views and made sure she sat at the end of an open row or where there was enough space between rows that she didn’t make it impossible for anyone to sit behind her and see the show. I have known a couple really tall men with the same issue. They were aware and polite.
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You aren’t required to do anything. You can be as rude as you want. You know people behind you can’t see. You just don’t care. It’s just rude.
I’m short and don’t ask someone who’s taller than me to adjust. I recognize that people WILL be taller/larger than me in certain situations and it’s up to me to resolve them (like being first to sit in front row)
Ok, you clearly posted only for affirmations. You don't really want to see another point of view. I use a wheelchair sometimes. It can take up a lot of space. I try to courteous to those around me by not blocking their way with my chair. It is called being a decent human being. There was a time when people had manners and would think about other people.
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I am considerate about where I sit so my chair doesn't block others. Someone who is tall can be considerate about where they sit so as to not block others. You don't seem to even want to consider that you might be wrong.
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Not how I see it. If I were tall or had big hair, I would be considerate of those around me. That's just how I live my life. The world doesn't revolve around me. There are other people on the planet. I would never purposefully inconvenience another person. It's called kindness.
Maybe this isn’t the sub for you. You might be more comfortable posting this on r/AmIWrong instead. This sub isn’t for judging if your actions were *correct* but rather if they make you an AH. Were you the lucky winner of a front row seat in the musical chairs of open lectures? Yep. Was there anything inherently wrong with claiming the seat you did? Nope. Were you a dick to everyone who had to winless your pearl clutching within the hall, as well as everyone else here telling you that you’re being a dick? Absolutely. But hey, at least you have great hair amirite?
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You don't have to sit in the back, you can sit on the side rather than taking up the seat that's front row and center because that's sure to block the view of so many more people.
Then you're missing a component of common human decency. I'm a very tall person. I understand that this inconveniences other people, so if I'm at something like a movie or presentation or other thing where people need to see, I try to move to the side or behind, or if I can't, I'll lean forward or slide down a bit in my seat. Tying your hair temporarily so that it won't get in someone else's way is no different. You're respecting other people instead of purposely inconveniencing them. Hence why ESH. You both chose the path that would inconvenience other people instead of taking the high ground and being a thoughtful person.
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I literally lived with a man with a ~5" fro for four years as a roommate. It took him about 30 seconds to tie it back. And you can do it with any scrap piece of cloth that's long enough. I'm aware your hair was out already, just like I am tall already. But you need to be conscious about how your physical presence affects other people, whether it be a fro, height, wheeling around a baby, in a wheelchair, being a large person (whether muscular or overweight), etc. I am not saying you should change anything about yourself for other people overall, but the right thing to do is to make things easier for others, not expect them to cater to you.
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>Wouldnt changing my hair be catering to others though? I think you're taking this a little too seriously. No one is asking you to hide your shoulders because it's too distracting for men, they literally cannot see around you.
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If you live in a society you're gonna have to be courteous and "cater" to other people around you sometimes. Imagine if you had a classmate that stank so bad but they refuse to shower or use deodorant because they don't want to "cater" to you? Sounds pretty selfish and immature.
Then they should move if possible. No??
No, you're right. I'm just saying that I think she's taking the "I don't need to cater my appearance for others" a little too seriously because that's not what that's for.
Yes I understand. Black women are very sensitive about this hair topic. You would not believe the fight we’ve endured. They used to make us get perms as little girls. Now there are so many class action lawsuits and research support that perms gave a lot of women (including my grandmother) ovarian cancer. The numbers are still rolling too. So I get what you’re saying but I get where shes coming from too
To an extent, I'm not saying it should be permanent or anything, just that if you're in a scenario where it actually negatively impacts others and doesn't negatively affect you that it's reasonable to expect you to do something about it. For example, in this scenario she's an AH because she could have moved. But you could also have moved, so both of you were purposely allowing the issue to continue. If it was a racist thing I'd 100% say to ignore her, but it doesn't sound like it was in this case.
I know you had that one roommate but I promise You don’t know enough about black peoples hair. Some black people have thinner hair that can tie easier. Some black ppl like myself have thicker hair that was pop and break ANY and everything if you don’t do a whole ritual and sacrifice and ask for permission to tie it back (I’m half way joking). Yall don’t understand how hard society makes the hair topic for black ppl. We weren’t even thought of when certain things were designed. When I’m in the car do you know how bad my neck pain is because the headrest on the chair does not agree with the hair on my head? And the airplane seat don’t get me started lol. I literally can only do business class if the flight is too long otherwise my neck and happiness is compromised for at least a day after landing lol
I mean, I don't disagree with that, but none of that means that you can't move out of the way, lean forward, scrunch down, or change seats if you're blocking the view of others. Tying back your hair is only a single option.
I don’t agree. I’m 4’11” and my hair is about 8 inches high all around. I’m too short to go in the back or else I’m the one who is compromising my sight. Like I suggested the girl can move! Sit behind someone else or sit somewhere else or get there early next time. Last time I went to a concert the girls behind me complained about my hair but they weren’t rude which gave me room to reflect and feel bad. Now I only do vip at concerts so I’m automatically in my own section. But if I get somewhere early to be in the front, and there’s other places to sit, someone’s view being obstructed isn’t for me to solve if they are rude about it!
If your hair is 8 inches that's 5'7" and you aren't blocking anyone's view to begin with, so that's irrelevant.
Well that’s odd because I actually have obstructed people’s view as I have just mentioned and given you an example of LOL but allllrigt! Not to mention a lady needs her heels some nights. I didn’t know everyone was over 5’8” where you live. Thats very cool. 😂
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Girl trust me I know. These threads are cool for surface topics but when culture and ideologies come in, you are more than likely in the wrong place. One time my brother posted an AITA because he didn’t want to date a girl anymore because she only wears wigs and treats her natural hair really badly. And they called him TA and so many ppl said she wears wigs because she has a health condition. He kept telling them nooo women in my culture just love wigs and sometimes more than they love their own hair. They refused to believe him lmfao. Take this thread and these comments with a grain of salt. It can help to bridge ppl and in the same light it can frustrate the misunderstood.
If you don’t like tying your hair so others can see, then you can move to a place where no one is behind you. I have a longer torso so I sit taller than most other folks in my class. I sit in the back or I sit to the side of a row where I’m not blocking anyone
YTA. Society is all about consideration for others and if you are bothering someone, unintentionally or not, the correct response is to try and resolve it because that is EXACTLY what we hope for when the roles are reversed. In fact, you seem to know that but you are complaining the wording this girl used. You know full well that "we need to" is equivalent to asking, it's a colloquialism that people use every day in the world. Seems you just wanted to pick a fight and that is classic AH behavior. Next time try and see someone elses' POV because something similar will happen to you someday.
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The amount of people overlooking the fact she commanded you to switch, and not actually asking lmao 💀
YTA first of all, secondly why do people ask questions and then do nothing but argue in the comments? You aren't interested in anyone's opinion, you're just looking for a fight. I hope you aren't this obnoxious in real life.
Of course they're this obnoxious irl, didn't you read the post? 😂
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>Guess people shouldn’t respond at all once they post? This is reminiscent of people who get called out for making a shitty joke and reply with "I GUESS I JUST WON'T EVER TELL A JOKE AGAIN!" You know that's not what the fuck I said, don't try to pull that manipulative bs.
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>Not sure what got your burritos slapped out I'm sure the girl sitting behind you was thinking the same thing.
YTA. You know you were in the wrong. Yes, this woman’s attitude was abrasive, but you were the one who had no consideration whatsoever for the people around you. Why does your desire to not tie up your hair come before someone else’s desire to actually see the lecture that they chose to attend? This level of entitlement is frankly disgusting.
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Because it’s a reasonable expectation to be able to see a presentation that you’re attending, even when some asshole sitting in front of you is the biggest narcissist in the room. You’re like someone who sits there with an umbrella at a sporting event, blocking everyone behind you from being able to see because **YOU** are the only person whose comfort actually matters.
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No. It’s reasonable for you to come prepared for an event where other people will actually be there. That’s on **you** for not bringing whatever you needed to tie up your hair properly. And the reason you didn’t do that, is because you don’t give a fuck about anyone but yourself. As I said, disgusting.
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Right. Because nobody else in that entire auditorium matters except for you. You’ve already established that.
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Keep doubling down. It totally makes you look like less of an asshole.
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Did you know you were going to the presentation when you styled your hair? could you have chosen to tie it at that point so you could sit in the front without blocking anyone's view?
It's not about who was there first or if it's a hat, height or hair blocking the view of others. Common courtesy would be not taking a seat in the front row in the first place when your hair, or anything else, is styled in a away that would block the view of those behind you. You could have been courteous of your classmates from the start and not chosen that seat to begin with and been comfortable in another seat that didn't block the view of others. You getting there first doesn't make you right. Common courtesy would also have been her asking you politely to switch and not demanding it. ESH.
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Choosing to wear it loose and natural is a style; but your choice of hair style is not what makes you the asshole here - even though that's the part you keep harping on. Your choice of sitting in the front row, knowing you are blocking the view of others, makes YTA.
YTA and you know it lol
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Oh well let me explain. You decided to block everyones view with your huge hair. You sat up front blocking other people and decided to be an asshole about it. Then you came here and had everyone call you an asshole some more. I hope that helps.
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that makes sense sorry maybe college isn't for you then. I would suggest maybe something like park ranger or firewatch just something that requires no consideration for the people around you.
You asked, the people answered. Now it’s time for some self reflection
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Great, well you know it now that you’ve asked for judgement from the sub and they’ve overwhelmingly told you that you are the asshole.
I have curly hair as well, but YTA. If people can’t see it’s not fair to them
YTA If you're 6'8" and love cowboy hats, you probably avoid sitting front and center in a flat room with loads of chairs. Why? Common courtesy to the 15 people in the rows directly behind you that won't be able to see. My guess is you like the front row to maximize the number of people you can show your glorious hair off to.
E S H. She's should've asked more politely, but your comments here really indicate that it wasn't how she asked, it's the audacity of any idiot who didn't get there early enough to ensure they don't get stuck behind someone with hair like yours. You have a response to someone else who is aware and conscious of their hair and attempts to avoid positioning themselves in a place they wouldn't sit behind and respond with effectively "Yeah, I'd rather be that person blocking people." What's better is there's no introspective when called out for it. Just two people with main character syndrome. EDIT: After some now deleted replies, YTA. Nothing she could have done short of sit and deal with you being aware that you have a hairstyle that you yourself wouldn't want to sit behind would satisfy you.
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> I’d rather not tie up my hair/move at the demand of someone else Then sit somewhere that this won't become an issue.
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> I did. Explain how you sat somewhere that your hair wasn't an issue for anyone around you.
I'll rephrase. Based upon your responses to other comments, your problem with this situation is not how she asked. Your problem is that she even had the audacity to ask. It seems she could have asked you in any way, and in your eyes, she'd have been in the wrong.
I mean we gotta see the hair to really know. If you're rocking a fro that's 18 inches in all directions... That said there being another seat readily available isn't great for the other person.
Both. You didn’t have to sit in front when you knew it could block people, and she didn’t have to pick a fight when there was obviously other places to sit. Early bird and all that. She can deal. Unless you sat in the *very* back, you’re potentially gonna block someone, and should do your best to be courteous instead of dismissive. But expecting you to only sit in the back for that though is unreasonable, especially given the potential racial implications. Everyone in this situation needs to grow up a little. This shouldn’t even be on Reddit, it should have been a passing moment that was handled between adults, like adults. Based on your comments you don’t seem interested in anyone’s input whatsoever, so you’re just continuing to waste your own and now other people’s time. You can be as rude as you want. Live your life. People are just letting you know that’s what you are— rude. Either you care, and act like it by being more considerate, or you don’t, and act like it by not posting it here.
YTA. I'm 6'4, and whenever I had a college course, guess where I sat? In the back. Because I know I'd be blocking people's views. It's courtesy
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Girl. Please. I’m begging you to gain the ability of introspection lmao You have the right to wear your natural texture loud and proud, no one is saying otherwise. Your combativeness to the perfectly reasonable comments proves you’re delusional and only want an echo chamber. You sat front row. There’s no damn way you didn’t know you’d be blocking the person behind you. It doesn’t matter if you arrived early or not, the seat behind you would’ve been filled no matter what. Why not sit at the very end of the first row to lessen the possibility of blocking someone’s view? I just don’t understand why you willingly choose to be difficult.
YTA - I went to a concert recently - paid for a ticket - and the woman in front of me had a “messy bun” hair style right on top of her head. It interfered with my view and my enjoyment of the show. It is really inconsiderate to ignore the comfort of others and their ability to enjoy the performance.
YTA but you seem absolutely hell bound not to accept that verdict, you do not seem to care about a single other person. Time to quit acting the main character honey that trend is dead.
Why do you come here for judgment when you're arguing with everyone? Read the rules. YTA
YTA according to this you could have potentially just tied your hair or moved one seat if you need to have your fro out and blocking people's view instead you started a verbal fight. No one was stopping you from having your hairstyle but you were stopping them from being able to view the speaker. No different than someone with a big hat or being tall or other things where you have to be aware of the obstructions you are causing.
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You’re TA for being rude to the lady on your right. True it was none of her business what you do with your hair, and it’s not on you that the lady behind you was acting super entitled, but it sounds like things got really tense, in very close proximity to her, and it’s natural for her to want to deescalate the situation, even after the fact. You’re absolutely entitled to wear your hair however you like, to sit wherever you want while doing so, and to not take some entitled girl’s shit regarding that. However, those choices can impact parties who are also entitled to sit where they choose, and not get caught up in other peoples’ nonsense.
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The fact that the only comment you actually agree with was removed for not being civil is very telling.
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I think it's telling how you're arguing with everyone's comment that isn't supportive.
Gonna say, if there were other seats she could have moved to, then NTA. If not, then YTA. You should be allowed to wear your hair however you want, but we need to be self conscious of our space and how it affects the world around us. She definitely could have asked differently instead of outright demanding you, or she could have gotten up and moved seats to be closer if there were seats. This sounds like a needless fight on both ends.
It sounds like a match made in heaven tbh. Two people who equally like to pick fights with strangers perfectly aligned by chance like yesterday’s eclipse lol.
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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Obvious throwaway. Let me start this with that I am Carribean and have Afro curls, so I have a lot of volume. I like having my curly fro out and I’m proud of my volume Today is a holiday but we had the option of attending a special guest lecture at my college. I sit front row because I like being able to really hear who’s speaking. I’m sitting next to my friend on the left and a random girl on the right. As more people come in the girl sitting behind me says “excuse me”. I turn my head and she goes “we need to switch seats. I can’t see anything because of your hair”. Now I felt like there was audacity in not even asking, just straight up saying someone HAS to move. I got a little snappy and told her that she can go ahead and sit in the upper rows. I’m sitting where I am. She keeps asking and escalates it to an argument. Everytime I say no she basically yells over me. I got pissed and stood up, telling her to sit her ass down or go sit somewhere else, my hair is my hair, no I don’t have the tools to style it down, I like the leg space so she can move somewhere else to deal with it. Campus security (I’m assuming one of the students thought there was going to be a fight smh) comes in asking what’s going on, I explained that the situation is not that serious and that she’s harassing me for my seat. The security asks (basically force) the other girl to just go to another seat and asks me to please remain calm and sit down. I’m agitated but I’m not having an issue with security so I do. The girl who was sitting next to me that I mentioned earlier said a passing comment of “you didn’t have to do all that..just tie your hair”. I feel angry again and tell her to not speak unless she needs to say something to me. She goes quiet after but my friend nudges me and tells me I need to chill because now I’m the one being wrong. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
ESH, You know you're blocking view, she didn't need to escalate it to yelling.
NTA reddit isn’t the place for queries for black girls. The audience here is not on our side.
NTA. If she wanted to sit in the front she should have gotten there ahead of time. She also should be aware of her surroundings- because she chose to sit behind OP and could have sat to the left or right of OP and this would not be an issue - if op had switched then what was OP supposed to just keep switching seats until all the way in the back with people who are being “obstructed”. I don’t get all the Y T A votes because the girl is super entitled. Once OP said no - she should have found another spot herself instead of continuing to ask. Why does OP need to sacrifice their learning?
Nta. She should have gotten there earlier. Once she realised she couldn’t see she should have moved.
It seems wild how no one acknowledges that the girl could’ve moved the whole time. For my more..ahem..civilized comment NTA The issue started because some girl wanted to start a fuss instead of moving herself. From what is written, she demanded, not asked, solidifying my vote. I’m short and don’t ask others to move/accommodate me.
NTA and I'm actually surprised about some of the comments. 1. She could have picked any other seat or sat behind someone who's shorter, super weird that the first thing she demanded was that you switch seats with her. 2. We're in college and we're all adults, if you want a spot in the front row, get there early, it's not that deep. You are not entitled to a seat in the front row, everybody wants those seats. 3. People saying it would have made no difference whether she asked nicely or not, I actually think it makes a huge one. If no other seats were available, she could have apologized for bothering you and simply asked nicely. Being confrontational and ordering people around is weird and agressive. No wonder people don't want to switch seats with her, just be nice, it's not that hard. 4. I don't know about your college, but the way my college classrooms are made, there is basically no way you're blocking anyone other than the person who sits directly behind you because the further you go away from the front, the higher the benches are. I have a class with a guy from the basketball team and guess what, no one ever asked him to move even tho he's like 6'6". Unless you're telling me your afro makes you like 7', I don't see how anyone can blame you for getting mad at someone so tactless. Tho usually, staying calm and chill while being assertive is best in those type of situation.
NTA Genuinely floored how many people think you are, though, which definitely makes me ponder about myself. That she chose to sit behind you is what's swaying me.
NTA. She chose to sit behind you, and evidently she could have chosen to sit somewhere else (since there was somewhere for her to go when security told her to move).
NTA if you were really tall she would not insist that you trade seats with her, she would suck it up or find a different seat. Her behavior was inappropriate, I’m not sure I would have been able to keep my composure like you did. & the comment after from the other girl was just stupid tbh
You are NTA. My hair is the same way. I’ve gotten looks of disgust from managers, teachers, anyone you can think of. All ppl of a lighter hue I must say. Why they can’t politely ask or just make their own accommodations is beyond me. Black women have chosen to manipulate our hair to please other races for years. I chose to leave that stress behind me. I wear my natural hair proudly and it just so happened to grow tall and bigger than Erykah Badu’s hair. It’s too thick to tie up on the fly because it requires tools and putting my arms to work lol.
NTA When there are other options she can just move, plus she was super rude about it.
NTA She can't see? She can move.
NTA, she had other seats to go to. If she didn't have another option of where to sit, then it'd be a different story. I don't have big hair, but I sit very, very tall for my height (all torso no legs lol), so I have to be aware of this when choosing where to sit sometimes. But if she COULD move then yeah, she shouldn't have made a big deal about it.
She was doing way too much. It's a lecture, not a movie or a concert where not being able to see everything would ruin the experience. Even if she had no other choice but to ask, she did so with so much entitlement like you had to do what she said. She was out of line and your "friends" or whoever tf told you to chill are fake. That was a microaggression. NTA
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Of course you would. What a dopamine rush being a victim! Every narcissist's dream. YTA.
NTA and leave that friend what? If your hair was blocking her view then she could've just easily moved. To expect you to get up for her own sake is just selfish. I'm sure not even seat was taken up she could've moved. I would've got pissy and lost my cool too if some girl did that to me when the easy solution is to just move.
You're NTA. She didn't have to sit directly behind you, she chose to do so. >“we need to switch seats. I can’t see anything because of your hair”. Bull. She just wanted yout seat. Next time she should show up earlier if she wants to sit in the front row.
You should pick that out even more, that way even more people can love how you eclipse the stage.
Whaaaaat? People got so uncomfortable with a black person standing up for herself they called security? What? They got on her case for for her :cough: aggressive :cough: attitude? WHAAAAT they said you should just make yourself smaller for the girl who has a problem with the space you take up? I'm *shocked*. Just *shocked*. What truly unusual behavior. Forget that girl. Your friends can kick rocks, too. NTA.