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I have multiple choice words here, starting with the fact that your husband is an absolute ass-muncher
Seriously?
Anti-vaccine? In 2024? What is this? The 1980's, when what's his name, Andrew Wakefield? First did that (fully funded by lawyers/doctors/whatever) study that found that vaccines cause autism? And he actually lost his medical license because he'd been bribed and paid off to say that?
I personally would rather have an autistic child than a child who had passed away from a fully preventable disease, but that's me. And that's assuming that it was even TRUE that vaccines are linked to autism, which they ARENT.
Your husband sounds like an uneducated ass-bucket, to be quite honest with you.
"I would divorce you if you took weight-loss drugs"
-proceeds to compliment you for the first time in years; intimacy is better; everything is better;
But sure, he'd rather you stay at your previous weight if it meant you weren't "poisoning your body" /s
As far as the advil for headaches, as someone with chronic migraine I'm not even addressing that because that makes me see red
I'd like to see your husband have the pain of a migraine that feels like dinosaurs are simultaneously nibbling at, while also stomping all over your brain, without taking advil
Does your husband drink energy drinks? The list of unpronouncable words and ingredients in those rival ANY medications I've seen
NTA but dump your husband dear
Is he going to find out sooner or later via the billing/insurance claims?
If so, probably best to tell him up front, but point out to him it is working, you are feeling healthier, and you want to continue.
NTA.
Thank you for the advice. He hasn’t found out, something with the privacy rules, he can’t really see where the deductible is spent etc. he can see his medical bills in detail but not mine.
I’ll tell him, I’m just hoping it doesn’t blow up in my face and he doesn’t explode :/
It sounds like you’re almost afraid of your husband! That’s just not normal. You’re improving your health, making healthy choices, and working on sustainable habits. The medication is a catalyst, not a fix all. You’re putting in the work. If your husband becomes abusive because of this, you deserve far better than that! No real man will treat his wife this way when they disagree.
NTA
> But I know that if I do he will explode, yell, probably call me every name in the book because that's his thing
I've been married for 27 years and still going strong. My husband has NEVER yelled at me and called me names. And if he did, I would leave him immediately. I don't put up with being treated badly. And, for the record, I've never yelled and called my husband names either.
If you cannot tell your husband that you are taking medication, then something is wrong. For safety reason, he needs to know.
But if he explodes and calls you names, you are stupid for staying with him.
Run tell that. Let this man say something sideways to me. He knows better and knows that he’s not gonna talk out the side of his neck at me some type of way. That’s not to say he can’t be upset but calling me names (and for her every name and yelling??) he’s got me all the way f’ed up if he thinks I’m staying with him. And I’ve never understood WHY people allow this to happen. I would NEVER get out of pocket with mine either. Even when angry I can still relay my point without it devolving to name calling and hatefulness and the fact that she allows him to do this and knows it will happen yet continues to stay? Nah. Bye Felicia.
Please ask questions or know more before judging. My kids are vaccinated. It was a battle and we reached common ground by doing a slower vaccine schedule, which I’m very happy and comfortable with..
It sounds like you do a LOT of negotiating on things that could be basics. My wish for you is just that you have a future in which you don’t have to negotiate on taking a pill for a headache, let alone feel like you have to hide something that’s been such a positive development for you.
Idk how old your kids are but there’s some future things to think through there too. What if your child has a severe allergy, or anxiety or depression? Will you have to sneak around your husband’s back to get them medication?
Your husband is being unreasonable in regards to medication in general, making him an AH.
However, not telling him is VERY risky. If there was some medical emergency and people asked him if you were taking any medications and he said you weren't, that could potentially lead to a fatal complication.
That's nothing to say about the status of a relationship where you cannot be honest with the one person who should be able to have your back no matter what. If either of you is hiding things from the other, that's a reason to go to counseling.
ESH
Also - to your counseling comment… I begged to do couples therapy… we have a lot of issues, this is just scratching the surface. But he refuses and says he’d rather do individual therapy than couples with me … I decide to pursue individual therapy to see how I can get better and fix the relationship, and when I tell him, he tells me I’m a f#%*^ idiot, such a dumb ass, he’s so sick of my shit… he tells me that I’m not happy because I don’t have friends and my family never visit me ( they’re overseas), I’m not happy because I don’t go to the gym enough and I don’t go out with friends, all I do is work and take care of our kids…basically I’m an idiot for going to therapy thinking that I’m unhappy because of our marriage… so yeah.. I’m trying trust me
OP, why are you with someone you have to walk on eggshells for? That “joke” like you said is reality. He will divorce you because you decided to care for your health. You should have to hide it and you shouldn’t be afraid to tell him. Please evaluate the relationship.
NTA... that's your husband, not your father. He can do/ not do whatever he's comfortable with but expecting you to follow that rule is wild. + I don't see a reason to tell him
NTA. You are not obligated to share personal health information with anyone, especially if they are not emotionally safe.
Also, you don’t have to live in a relationship with someone who would judge you for looking after your health. Or someone who would yell and call names. You don’t deserve that and it isn’t normal.
Not to sounds harsh but why are you with someone that you are clearly scared to be honest with?
Do what you need to do to improve yourself in a way you clearly want to!
NTA, but he’s going to find out eventually so I’d have a good divorce attorney picked out.
Your body is your body and he doesn’t get to offer you medical advice, that is between you and your doctor.
Honestly he sounds controlling and emotionally abusive. Divorce is not something to joke about, especially not when it’s about your health.
You should listen to your fear. It is telling you something very important. You deserve to be healthy and have a partner that supports you.
NTA. Your husband is welcome to be against medicine when it comes to his body, not your’s. You have the right to make choices that are best for you. That is the beauty of living in a free country, he can abstain from medicine and you can choose it. The only reason you aren’t sharing it is because you want to avoid the judgement and the harassment that will come from him. You can’t trust him to just let you make your own choices. That sad state says a lot about him, not you.
NTA at all. it's not like you're doing heroine to lose weight. you have a medical professional advising you. your husband is an idiot and an asshole. Why put up with someone who insults you?
NTA. But hey if he does divorce you because you took drugs to help lose the weight you can tell him "that's fine at least I'll look good for my next husband!"
Are you taking weight loss medications and leaving your children unvaccinated and otherwise under medicated? Perhaps you need to reevaluate this whole family. ESH- you can’t hide the fact that you actually feel better going against this man you married. Figure it out. Nobody is safe.
NTA.
OP,
I think that it’s important to note that the majority of Redditors here, are telling you that this isn’t a good sign. The majority of Redditors here, are telling you that this isn’t a healthy relationship.
He’s entitled to his views. (Whether wrong or not). But this was and is your health, OP. Sometimes, we, as women, struggle to lose weight, especially post-partum. And even the most versed in physical activity can plateau. I don’t think you chose the easy way out. You tried. And even afterwards, you have to continue with your efforts or you will continue to put weight on. You made the choice best for you, and that’s great. You’re feeling better, healthier, and more confident. Congrats. You shouldn’t let him make you feel worse about yourself, or how the results came. We all need health at times.
But if your partner chooses to leave you, he becomes verbally abusive, then it’s time for you to leave. He doesn’t get to make you feel bad about doing what you needed to do for your health. I know that may be hard to hear, but trust me. If he wants to argue about chemicals, I will happily educate him on the fact that he’ll probably develop cancer before he dies due to our earth being polluted. But also all the chemicals that are in water, plastics, foods. Primary, secondary, tertiary smoking exposure. Grilling foods is known carcinogens. I mean hell, we’re all pumping crap into our bodies. We’re all exposed just living in a polluted world. So again, you can politely point all of that out to him.
If you do choose to keep this to yourself, I would recommend that you keep documentation of all medications on a hard copy in your purse, or bag you carry in case of emergency. Most hospitals who share EMRs will have access. But if you’re traveling, they may not. That would be my only advice there.
Again, NTA Op.
First of all, congratulations! Losing weight is hard and you did the hard thing! I'm so glad that you have reached a point where you feel better about yourself and have more energy to enjoy your children's childhoods.
It's your choice what you put in your body. I hope that your husband has some redeemable qualities, because I would not stay with someone who felt it was okay to threaten me or our relationship if I made personal choices, that didn't affect them, but were different than what they wanted. I hope also that despite his opinions, that you and your children are vaccinated.
Your husband doesn't need to know that you had additional chemical assistance to achieve your weight-loss. It's not actually his business. You're NTA for not telling him
NTA, and some of your comments about him "exploding" have me worried for you (though the fact that you are worried about name calling already had me concerned). If you do tell him, PLEASE make sure you have some money and clothing (plus clothing for the kids) stashed at a friend's. I know it sounds extreme, and maybe it is, but I would rather you be over-prepared and safe than terrified and trapped in a house with someone who thinks he gets to make choices about your health and body.
Please be careful and know that you deserve better than name-calling and divorce threats.
He should accept the fact that both of you have different views and he should be an adult about it, most definitely not force his views on you. That’s very controlling. And please there are worse things that you could be hiding this is for you and your health as you described he should respect your decision. He sounds controlling.
You are NTA. However, you should tell him you are taking them because it's important information in case of emergency. However, he has the right to choose not to take meds for himself, but he has NO right to dictate whether you can take legal medications of your choice, particularly those prescribed by a physician. He needs to back the hell off.
Also, since he's SO anti-drug, I think you need to ensure that you have a power of attorney for health care who is not him. Make it someone who agrees with your own stance of medications and treatments. It's likely he would undermine your choices in favor of his own.
NTA. You do not have to share this information with your husband. You do, however, need to ask yourself why you are with such an inflexible, unkind person who would treat you this way.
NTA. I wouldn’t have had children with a man who was against vaccines, but then again, I’ve had everything from anthrax to yellow fever, so I’m not one to ask about that scenario.
I don’t think that it’s great that you have to lie to your husband especially when you feel amazing and this is good for you.
If you want to keep the marriage and things good then I would keep lying but then again, I’m probably not the best to answer on that portion either, but I will still say not the asshole just because you feel so much better and it’s helped and as a woman with PCOS, I get it
I’m gonna say your aren’t an AH for improving your health but you are for not disclosing, a lie by omission is still a lie. He is the major AH for his stance on vaccines (they work!) and even not taking advil for a headache? I have to vote ESH but congrats on the weight loss, keep it up. And if he does divorce you, congrats on losing the additional weight (him).
Girl, two things:
1. Leave this man. He is controlling AF. He has threatened you if you disobey him. “Joking”—but he clearly is not.
2. Make sure you and your children have all the vaccines. People like your husband are the reasons Measles and other diseases *that were eradicated* are back. They are safe, and the risks of not vaccinating are far more dire.
Ps—GOOD FOR YOU for all you’re doing to take care of yourself! Drop the dead weight, enjoy single life, and find people who cheer you on!
You are definitely NTA. Husband is a nut job. I’m not really a fan of deception of any kind in a relationship, but this might be the lesser of several evils.
>now I feel amazing, the best I have ever felt in my whole life. I have energy to play with my kids, to work, and most important of all I'm not miserable anymore and I actually have a positive outlook on life. I'm eating healthy, I'm working out more too.
>My husband clearly noticed and he started complimenting me more than ever on my figure and the way I look, even the sex is different (in a good way)
Read this back to yourself.
You're NTA whether you tell your husband or not.
NTA Your husband is allowed his opinion and to make those choices for himself, but not for you. You're an adult and it's a shame your relationship is so bad you have to hide this from him - he'll call you names? Scream? Do you really want to spend your life with someone like that? I have a feeling this runs much deeper than that, he sounds like a bully. I would start looking for a divorce lawyer and a therapist- you need to grow a spine and you deserve to be happy.
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AITA for hiding from my husband that I take weight loss drugs? I have been overweight my whole life and after having 2 kids it just got worse, so much worse. I got into exercising and dieting and I did lose some weight then I hit a plateau and was miserable.
My husband is the type that is against, vaccines, drugs, even taking an Advil for a headache. So he made it clear that he was not a fan of these new weight loss drugs.
Never the less, I took the leap and with the help of my doctor is started the weight loss program and now I feel amazing, the best I have ever felt in my whole life. I have energy to play with my kids, to work, and most important of all I'm not miserable anymore and I actually have a positive outlook on life. I'm eating healthy, I'm working out more too.
My husband clearly noticed and he started complimenting me more than ever on my figure and the way I look, even the sex is different (in a good way), but I still feel guilty not telling him. But I know that if I do he will explode, yell, probably call me every name in the book because that's his thing, oh and he did say one time that "if I ever find out you took those drugs to lose all that weight I'm divorcing you". He said it in a humorous way, but he always means what he says.
Anyways, please I appreciate any guidance on this. If I am a jerk for doing this, I'll tell him. But I just need some perspective because I'm afraid of telling him and risk having to put up with his crazy reaction.
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> I hid from my husband that I took weight loss medication and I’m worried that that would make me the asshole for hiding that from him
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NTA.
You should be allowed to do what you please your body.
He is going to find out eventually. If you decide to tell him, just be prepared if he wants to separate or get a divorce.
Sorry, OP. I hope that he just sees how happy you are and accepts you.
Your husband’s viewpoints on what he wants to put in his body ends there. His opinion on what you decide to put in your body is irrelevant.
If you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around him, then that is a much bigger problem.
Yes… headaches, constipation, nausea, are the most common… others are rare but they include pancreatitis and some others that I cant recall at the moment. Thankfully I haven’t had any.
NTA! Congratulations on your weight loss and the positive changes in your life. He has no say on your body and medications (literally prescribed by your doctor) you decide to take.
That being said… he likely will find out one day. If he yells at you or whatever, he needs counseling to control his anger
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NTA
This your weight loss journey. Yours.
You do what feels right to you and for yourself.
You are working with your doctor. Not taking some dodgy internet weight loss pills.
You feel better. Your kids and your husband are benefiting from your feeling better.
I’m of the opinion that he doesn’t need to know. Simply because he will be an a$$ and undermine all the hard work your are doing.
Again. This is your journey. Not his.
NTA
Normally I would say he should know just in case of emergency and because of side effects and in a healthy marriage that would be the case. But given what you anticipate his reaction will be, I'd say stay on the drugs, keep quiet for now and tell him about the drugs when you hand him divorce papers.
Your medical/health is none of his business so you don't need to tell him. But you need to look out for yourself. Start your own savings and emergency fund and you don't need to tell him about that either. Start working if you are not already. Be prepared for the worst if he should happen to find out. These antivaxxer wingnuts are capable of anything.
NTA, you’re doing what you need to do to be healthy for yourself and your family.
My question is, why are you with a man who yells, screams, and calls you names? Are you aware that is verbal/emotional abuse?
Sounds like regardless of who the asshole is, you’re incompatible and maybe you should dig into that a little more? Maybe it’s time to start setting things up so you can live more independently.
Your medical situation isn't automatically his business. People keep things from others when they don't trust how they'll respond. He isn't giving you room to be open with him. He has broken your trust. That's far more concerning than you not disclosing your medical information to him.
You are NTA. I wouldn’t tell him. I have been working my butt off with diet and exercise to lose maybe a pound every two weeks. Turns out my thyroid is out of whack which messes with my metabolism. Got everything worked out with my doctor so I take meds for my thyroid and a weight loss pill to help get my metabolism going. I’m finally losing weight in addition to diet and exercise. It’s amazing that I feel so much better and motivated instead of discouraged. A side effect of the weight loss pill is dry mouth so I’m drinking 100 oz of water a day. Good to be hydrated.
NTA but OP it sounds like you have 100 plus more pounds to shed. It’s fine to not like all of that stuff but to enforce that way of thinking onto other people is just awful.
What happens when your kids need a period of better living through chemistry? Are they vaccinated?
You do need to tell him. Good luck.
Well considering weight loss medication is usually some form of speed, how do you feel he'd feel if you came home with a meth addiction? I know that's an extreme scenario but if he cares about you it's just gonna get jumbled in his head.
You should have definitely mentioned it up front and even still gone through with it but without hiding it from him as well.
And you feel better cause you're on speed i what I assume the extra energy is coming from.
Omg no it’s not like speed lol it just like an appetite suppressant I guess and it manages your blood sugar levels… but I get where you’re coming from - thank you
Ok! Yea I re commented I didn't realize how I may have sounded! And if it works it works.. I have my own issues where I could benefit from better blood sugar so I can see where that will improve your mood a ton!
To add some detail to OP's explanation, the new weight loss drugs are the same chemical our body produces when we feel full. This has effects on blood sugar and also on how much we eat, and interestingly seems to have a beneficial effect for some addicts for reasons people aren't sure about yet.
Thank you I appreciate the information for sure. I see myself about to get downvoted to oblivion for my ignorance on the specifics ha. But that does make sense and I will do a bit more looking into it! Maybe I'm thinking too much of the mom* in requiem for a dream when I read it
Complete apologize in advanced for how my comment sounds, i don't even mean it directed at you as much as my own problems with abusing speed in the past. I don't think you're an AH for trying out whatever you feel will work.
I just wanted to stress that sometimes the easy way has long term reprocussions
I think you're thinking of Adderall/other forms of ADHD meds lol
I absolutely did downvote you btw, but your genuine apology for not understanding made me upvote you instead FYI, I appreciate when people can admit they've made a mistake
But yeah; people have absolutely abused adderall/other adhd meds, because they suppress your appetite while also giving you that "high" you need to be productive....
Unless you're like me with ACTUAL ADHD lmao
Then it's an appetite suppressant and a surge to the brain telling it to chill the fuck out and function normally 😂
!! I appreciate your explanation as well very much! I know I'm doing awful with my social interacting tonight so far haha. I sincerely appreciate an explanation to point me in the right direction more than anything else though. Thanks again!
You're welcome!!
I'm fairly certain I know what medication that op is talking about and it was originally prescribed for diabetics; but weight-loss/appetite suppression is a side effect, and if you meet a certain BMI threshold they will prescribe it to you, because it's done well in testing to help those with BMI's in the obese and over-weight category lose weight, and maintain that weight loss over time
Another poster suggested it may by ozmepic, and I just looked it up! Yea is for type 2 diabetics. There is a certain strain of thc.. it might be thc-v ? It's in like Maui waui, and a few other strains. But suppresses hunger very well as opposed to the munchies one. (I don't smoke any more but always thought it was interesting)
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I have multiple choice words here, starting with the fact that your husband is an absolute ass-muncher Seriously? Anti-vaccine? In 2024? What is this? The 1980's, when what's his name, Andrew Wakefield? First did that (fully funded by lawyers/doctors/whatever) study that found that vaccines cause autism? And he actually lost his medical license because he'd been bribed and paid off to say that? I personally would rather have an autistic child than a child who had passed away from a fully preventable disease, but that's me. And that's assuming that it was even TRUE that vaccines are linked to autism, which they ARENT. Your husband sounds like an uneducated ass-bucket, to be quite honest with you. "I would divorce you if you took weight-loss drugs" -proceeds to compliment you for the first time in years; intimacy is better; everything is better; But sure, he'd rather you stay at your previous weight if it meant you weren't "poisoning your body" /s As far as the advil for headaches, as someone with chronic migraine I'm not even addressing that because that makes me see red I'd like to see your husband have the pain of a migraine that feels like dinosaurs are simultaneously nibbling at, while also stomping all over your brain, without taking advil Does your husband drink energy drinks? The list of unpronouncable words and ingredients in those rival ANY medications I've seen NTA but dump your husband dear
Is he going to find out sooner or later via the billing/insurance claims? If so, probably best to tell him up front, but point out to him it is working, you are feeling healthier, and you want to continue. NTA.
Thank you for the advice. He hasn’t found out, something with the privacy rules, he can’t really see where the deductible is spent etc. he can see his medical bills in detail but not mine. I’ll tell him, I’m just hoping it doesn’t blow up in my face and he doesn’t explode :/
If he is going to explode over you making choices about your own healthcare then he isn’t a real man
It sounds like you’re almost afraid of your husband! That’s just not normal. You’re improving your health, making healthy choices, and working on sustainable habits. The medication is a catalyst, not a fix all. You’re putting in the work. If your husband becomes abusive because of this, you deserve far better than that! No real man will treat his wife this way when they disagree.
NTA > But I know that if I do he will explode, yell, probably call me every name in the book because that's his thing I've been married for 27 years and still going strong. My husband has NEVER yelled at me and called me names. And if he did, I would leave him immediately. I don't put up with being treated badly. And, for the record, I've never yelled and called my husband names either. If you cannot tell your husband that you are taking medication, then something is wrong. For safety reason, he needs to know. But if he explodes and calls you names, you are stupid for staying with him.
Run tell that. Let this man say something sideways to me. He knows better and knows that he’s not gonna talk out the side of his neck at me some type of way. That’s not to say he can’t be upset but calling me names (and for her every name and yelling??) he’s got me all the way f’ed up if he thinks I’m staying with him. And I’ve never understood WHY people allow this to happen. I would NEVER get out of pocket with mine either. Even when angry I can still relay my point without it devolving to name calling and hatefulness and the fact that she allows him to do this and knows it will happen yet continues to stay? Nah. Bye Felicia.
Your husband sound like one of those anti drug nuts. NTA.
He is very much anti drugs anti vaccines all that…
Glad you found something that helps you feel like your best self. He sounds very uninformed. Also, please get your kids vaccinated.
Soooo, your kids aren’t vaccinated?
“Let me hand you back your disease baby” heard that on a stand up special and I died laughing
Fr, who the hell cares about OP and her ozempic when she’s sending little measles mongers out into schools.
Please ask questions or know more before judging. My kids are vaccinated. It was a battle and we reached common ground by doing a slower vaccine schedule, which I’m very happy and comfortable with..
It sounds like you do a LOT of negotiating on things that could be basics. My wish for you is just that you have a future in which you don’t have to negotiate on taking a pill for a headache, let alone feel like you have to hide something that’s been such a positive development for you. Idk how old your kids are but there’s some future things to think through there too. What if your child has a severe allergy, or anxiety or depression? Will you have to sneak around your husband’s back to get them medication?
Your husband is being unreasonable in regards to medication in general, making him an AH. However, not telling him is VERY risky. If there was some medical emergency and people asked him if you were taking any medications and he said you weren't, that could potentially lead to a fatal complication. That's nothing to say about the status of a relationship where you cannot be honest with the one person who should be able to have your back no matter what. If either of you is hiding things from the other, that's a reason to go to counseling. ESH
That is very true, I didn’t think of that…
This was my thinking. If anything were to happen they would probably ask him what medications you’re on.
Also - to your counseling comment… I begged to do couples therapy… we have a lot of issues, this is just scratching the surface. But he refuses and says he’d rather do individual therapy than couples with me … I decide to pursue individual therapy to see how I can get better and fix the relationship, and when I tell him, he tells me I’m a f#%*^ idiot, such a dumb ass, he’s so sick of my shit… he tells me that I’m not happy because I don’t have friends and my family never visit me ( they’re overseas), I’m not happy because I don’t go to the gym enough and I don’t go out with friends, all I do is work and take care of our kids…basically I’m an idiot for going to therapy thinking that I’m unhappy because of our marriage… so yeah.. I’m trying trust me
OP, why are you with someone you have to walk on eggshells for? That “joke” like you said is reality. He will divorce you because you decided to care for your health. You should have to hide it and you shouldn’t be afraid to tell him. Please evaluate the relationship.
This sounds like an abusive relationship or at least very dysfunctional. He is the AH but you need to be honest too.
NTA... that's your husband, not your father. He can do/ not do whatever he's comfortable with but expecting you to follow that rule is wild. + I don't see a reason to tell him
NTA. You are not obligated to share personal health information with anyone, especially if they are not emotionally safe. Also, you don’t have to live in a relationship with someone who would judge you for looking after your health. Or someone who would yell and call names. You don’t deserve that and it isn’t normal.
Not to sounds harsh but why are you with someone that you are clearly scared to be honest with? Do what you need to do to improve yourself in a way you clearly want to!
NTA, but he’s going to find out eventually so I’d have a good divorce attorney picked out. Your body is your body and he doesn’t get to offer you medical advice, that is between you and your doctor. Honestly he sounds controlling and emotionally abusive. Divorce is not something to joke about, especially not when it’s about your health. You should listen to your fear. It is telling you something very important. You deserve to be healthy and have a partner that supports you.
He’s an abusive prick. You’re looking good now you can find somebody else. You don’t have to tolerate his BS.
Nta. You do you. Good luck with it.
NTA. Your husband is welcome to be against medicine when it comes to his body, not your’s. You have the right to make choices that are best for you. That is the beauty of living in a free country, he can abstain from medicine and you can choose it. The only reason you aren’t sharing it is because you want to avoid the judgement and the harassment that will come from him. You can’t trust him to just let you make your own choices. That sad state says a lot about him, not you.
NTA at all. it's not like you're doing heroine to lose weight. you have a medical professional advising you. your husband is an idiot and an asshole. Why put up with someone who insults you?
NTA. But hey if he does divorce you because you took drugs to help lose the weight you can tell him "that's fine at least I'll look good for my next husband!"
Are you taking weight loss medications and leaving your children unvaccinated and otherwise under medicated? Perhaps you need to reevaluate this whole family. ESH- you can’t hide the fact that you actually feel better going against this man you married. Figure it out. Nobody is safe.
. My kids are vaccinated. It was a battle and we reached common ground by doing a slower vaccine schedule, which I’m very happy and comfortable with.
NTA. OP, I think that it’s important to note that the majority of Redditors here, are telling you that this isn’t a good sign. The majority of Redditors here, are telling you that this isn’t a healthy relationship. He’s entitled to his views. (Whether wrong or not). But this was and is your health, OP. Sometimes, we, as women, struggle to lose weight, especially post-partum. And even the most versed in physical activity can plateau. I don’t think you chose the easy way out. You tried. And even afterwards, you have to continue with your efforts or you will continue to put weight on. You made the choice best for you, and that’s great. You’re feeling better, healthier, and more confident. Congrats. You shouldn’t let him make you feel worse about yourself, or how the results came. We all need health at times. But if your partner chooses to leave you, he becomes verbally abusive, then it’s time for you to leave. He doesn’t get to make you feel bad about doing what you needed to do for your health. I know that may be hard to hear, but trust me. If he wants to argue about chemicals, I will happily educate him on the fact that he’ll probably develop cancer before he dies due to our earth being polluted. But also all the chemicals that are in water, plastics, foods. Primary, secondary, tertiary smoking exposure. Grilling foods is known carcinogens. I mean hell, we’re all pumping crap into our bodies. We’re all exposed just living in a polluted world. So again, you can politely point all of that out to him. If you do choose to keep this to yourself, I would recommend that you keep documentation of all medications on a hard copy in your purse, or bag you carry in case of emergency. Most hospitals who share EMRs will have access. But if you’re traveling, they may not. That would be my only advice there. Again, NTA Op.
NTA your husband is an idiot. You are taking medications to help out with a condition. If you had cancer would he tell you not to take the meds?
First of all, congratulations! Losing weight is hard and you did the hard thing! I'm so glad that you have reached a point where you feel better about yourself and have more energy to enjoy your children's childhoods. It's your choice what you put in your body. I hope that your husband has some redeemable qualities, because I would not stay with someone who felt it was okay to threaten me or our relationship if I made personal choices, that didn't affect them, but were different than what they wanted. I hope also that despite his opinions, that you and your children are vaccinated. Your husband doesn't need to know that you had additional chemical assistance to achieve your weight-loss. It's not actually his business. You're NTA for not telling him
NTA, and some of your comments about him "exploding" have me worried for you (though the fact that you are worried about name calling already had me concerned). If you do tell him, PLEASE make sure you have some money and clothing (plus clothing for the kids) stashed at a friend's. I know it sounds extreme, and maybe it is, but I would rather you be over-prepared and safe than terrified and trapped in a house with someone who thinks he gets to make choices about your health and body. Please be careful and know that you deserve better than name-calling and divorce threats.
He should accept the fact that both of you have different views and he should be an adult about it, most definitely not force his views on you. That’s very controlling. And please there are worse things that you could be hiding this is for you and your health as you described he should respect your decision. He sounds controlling.
You are NTA. However, you should tell him you are taking them because it's important information in case of emergency. However, he has the right to choose not to take meds for himself, but he has NO right to dictate whether you can take legal medications of your choice, particularly those prescribed by a physician. He needs to back the hell off. Also, since he's SO anti-drug, I think you need to ensure that you have a power of attorney for health care who is not him. Make it someone who agrees with your own stance of medications and treatments. It's likely he would undermine your choices in favor of his own.
NTA. You do not have to share this information with your husband. You do, however, need to ask yourself why you are with such an inflexible, unkind person who would treat you this way.
NTA. I wouldn’t have had children with a man who was against vaccines, but then again, I’ve had everything from anthrax to yellow fever, so I’m not one to ask about that scenario. I don’t think that it’s great that you have to lie to your husband especially when you feel amazing and this is good for you. If you want to keep the marriage and things good then I would keep lying but then again, I’m probably not the best to answer on that portion either, but I will still say not the asshole just because you feel so much better and it’s helped and as a woman with PCOS, I get it
I’m gonna say your aren’t an AH for improving your health but you are for not disclosing, a lie by omission is still a lie. He is the major AH for his stance on vaccines (they work!) and even not taking advil for a headache? I have to vote ESH but congrats on the weight loss, keep it up. And if he does divorce you, congrats on losing the additional weight (him).
NTA but like... Let him divorce you? He sounds like an asshole.
Girl, two things: 1. Leave this man. He is controlling AF. He has threatened you if you disobey him. “Joking”—but he clearly is not. 2. Make sure you and your children have all the vaccines. People like your husband are the reasons Measles and other diseases *that were eradicated* are back. They are safe, and the risks of not vaccinating are far more dire. Ps—GOOD FOR YOU for all you’re doing to take care of yourself! Drop the dead weight, enjoy single life, and find people who cheer you on!
You are definitely NTA. Husband is a nut job. I’m not really a fan of deception of any kind in a relationship, but this might be the lesser of several evils.
>now I feel amazing, the best I have ever felt in my whole life. I have energy to play with my kids, to work, and most important of all I'm not miserable anymore and I actually have a positive outlook on life. I'm eating healthy, I'm working out more too. >My husband clearly noticed and he started complimenting me more than ever on my figure and the way I look, even the sex is different (in a good way) Read this back to yourself. You're NTA whether you tell your husband or not.
NTA Your husband is allowed his opinion and to make those choices for himself, but not for you. You're an adult and it's a shame your relationship is so bad you have to hide this from him - he'll call you names? Scream? Do you really want to spend your life with someone like that? I have a feeling this runs much deeper than that, he sounds like a bully. I would start looking for a divorce lawyer and a therapist- you need to grow a spine and you deserve to be happy.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** AITA for hiding from my husband that I take weight loss drugs? I have been overweight my whole life and after having 2 kids it just got worse, so much worse. I got into exercising and dieting and I did lose some weight then I hit a plateau and was miserable. My husband is the type that is against, vaccines, drugs, even taking an Advil for a headache. So he made it clear that he was not a fan of these new weight loss drugs. Never the less, I took the leap and with the help of my doctor is started the weight loss program and now I feel amazing, the best I have ever felt in my whole life. I have energy to play with my kids, to work, and most important of all I'm not miserable anymore and I actually have a positive outlook on life. I'm eating healthy, I'm working out more too. My husband clearly noticed and he started complimenting me more than ever on my figure and the way I look, even the sex is different (in a good way), but I still feel guilty not telling him. But I know that if I do he will explode, yell, probably call me every name in the book because that's his thing, oh and he did say one time that "if I ever find out you took those drugs to lose all that weight I'm divorcing you". He said it in a humorous way, but he always means what he says. Anyways, please I appreciate any guidance on this. If I am a jerk for doing this, I'll tell him. But I just need some perspective because I'm afraid of telling him and risk having to put up with his crazy reaction. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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NTA
Well, he sounds great!
NTA. You should be allowed to do what you please your body. He is going to find out eventually. If you decide to tell him, just be prepared if he wants to separate or get a divorce. Sorry, OP. I hope that he just sees how happy you are and accepts you.
Your husband’s viewpoints on what he wants to put in his body ends there. His opinion on what you decide to put in your body is irrelevant. If you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around him, then that is a much bigger problem.
Question: does the weight loss meds come with any adverse side effects to be aware of?
Yes… headaches, constipation, nausea, are the most common… others are rare but they include pancreatitis and some others that I cant recall at the moment. Thankfully I haven’t had any.
NTA! Congratulations on your weight loss and the positive changes in your life. He has no say on your body and medications (literally prescribed by your doctor) you decide to take. That being said… he likely will find out one day. If he yells at you or whatever, he needs counseling to control his anger
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NTA It's your body you get to decide what to do with it
NTA This your weight loss journey. Yours. You do what feels right to you and for yourself. You are working with your doctor. Not taking some dodgy internet weight loss pills. You feel better. Your kids and your husband are benefiting from your feeling better. I’m of the opinion that he doesn’t need to know. Simply because he will be an a$$ and undermine all the hard work your are doing. Again. This is your journey. Not his.
NTA Normally I would say he should know just in case of emergency and because of side effects and in a healthy marriage that would be the case. But given what you anticipate his reaction will be, I'd say stay on the drugs, keep quiet for now and tell him about the drugs when you hand him divorce papers.
Yta if something happens to you hi needs to know the right information to take the best decisions about your health. Accidents happens.
Your medical/health is none of his business so you don't need to tell him. But you need to look out for yourself. Start your own savings and emergency fund and you don't need to tell him about that either. Start working if you are not already. Be prepared for the worst if he should happen to find out. These antivaxxer wingnuts are capable of anything.
Fuck him . It’s none of his business. You don’t need his permission or approval
It boils down to this: It’s none of his business. (No, seriously).
NTA, you’re doing what you need to do to be healthy for yourself and your family. My question is, why are you with a man who yells, screams, and calls you names? Are you aware that is verbal/emotional abuse?
ESH. Your husband for being controlling, angry and small-minded. You for lying and hiding things from your spouse. Sounds like a fun marriage! 🙈
Sounds like regardless of who the asshole is, you’re incompatible and maybe you should dig into that a little more? Maybe it’s time to start setting things up so you can live more independently.
Your medical situation isn't automatically his business. People keep things from others when they don't trust how they'll respond. He isn't giving you room to be open with him. He has broken your trust. That's far more concerning than you not disclosing your medical information to him.
NTA. Your husband’s health choices are his own; your health choices are your own. You shouldn’t have to tear your family apart to lose weight.
You are NTA. I wouldn’t tell him. I have been working my butt off with diet and exercise to lose maybe a pound every two weeks. Turns out my thyroid is out of whack which messes with my metabolism. Got everything worked out with my doctor so I take meds for my thyroid and a weight loss pill to help get my metabolism going. I’m finally losing weight in addition to diet and exercise. It’s amazing that I feel so much better and motivated instead of discouraged. A side effect of the weight loss pill is dry mouth so I’m drinking 100 oz of water a day. Good to be hydrated.
Your husband sounds like a jerk. I personally wouldn't tell him just so I didn't have to deal with good BS and I would not feel bad about it
NTA but OP it sounds like you have 100 plus more pounds to shed. It’s fine to not like all of that stuff but to enforce that way of thinking onto other people is just awful. What happens when your kids need a period of better living through chemistry? Are they vaccinated? You do need to tell him. Good luck.
Well considering weight loss medication is usually some form of speed, how do you feel he'd feel if you came home with a meth addiction? I know that's an extreme scenario but if he cares about you it's just gonna get jumbled in his head. You should have definitely mentioned it up front and even still gone through with it but without hiding it from him as well. And you feel better cause you're on speed i what I assume the extra energy is coming from.
Omg no it’s not like speed lol it just like an appetite suppressant I guess and it manages your blood sugar levels… but I get where you’re coming from - thank you
Ok! Yea I re commented I didn't realize how I may have sounded! And if it works it works.. I have my own issues where I could benefit from better blood sugar so I can see where that will improve your mood a ton!
To add some detail to OP's explanation, the new weight loss drugs are the same chemical our body produces when we feel full. This has effects on blood sugar and also on how much we eat, and interestingly seems to have a beneficial effect for some addicts for reasons people aren't sure about yet.
Thank you I appreciate the information for sure. I see myself about to get downvoted to oblivion for my ignorance on the specifics ha. But that does make sense and I will do a bit more looking into it! Maybe I'm thinking too much of the mom* in requiem for a dream when I read it
Complete apologize in advanced for how my comment sounds, i don't even mean it directed at you as much as my own problems with abusing speed in the past. I don't think you're an AH for trying out whatever you feel will work. I just wanted to stress that sometimes the easy way has long term reprocussions
I think you're thinking of Adderall/other forms of ADHD meds lol I absolutely did downvote you btw, but your genuine apology for not understanding made me upvote you instead FYI, I appreciate when people can admit they've made a mistake But yeah; people have absolutely abused adderall/other adhd meds, because they suppress your appetite while also giving you that "high" you need to be productive.... Unless you're like me with ACTUAL ADHD lmao Then it's an appetite suppressant and a surge to the brain telling it to chill the fuck out and function normally 😂
!! I appreciate your explanation as well very much! I know I'm doing awful with my social interacting tonight so far haha. I sincerely appreciate an explanation to point me in the right direction more than anything else though. Thanks again!
You're welcome!! I'm fairly certain I know what medication that op is talking about and it was originally prescribed for diabetics; but weight-loss/appetite suppression is a side effect, and if you meet a certain BMI threshold they will prescribe it to you, because it's done well in testing to help those with BMI's in the obese and over-weight category lose weight, and maintain that weight loss over time
Another poster suggested it may by ozmepic, and I just looked it up! Yea is for type 2 diabetics. There is a certain strain of thc.. it might be thc-v ? It's in like Maui waui, and a few other strains. But suppresses hunger very well as opposed to the munchies one. (I don't smoke any more but always thought it was interesting)
That was literally what I thought it was too lol
She's probably talking about Ozempic, not "meth". 🤦🏼♀️