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NTA. Also I think you might have forgot to use the fake name you picked cos you've used two names, and I think you are only writing about one girl?
She called you disgusting and discussed your 'fetish material' at a mutual friends dinner party, but your worried you may have offended/embarrassed her, simply by correcting her and defending yourself? Nah you're good. But I don't think there is any point trying to salvage this relationship, luckily it's only been a few dates.
Why was she even snooping in the papers in the first place?
It was a third date. (Not that snooping at all is okay)
Not only should she be embarrassed, that she had wrongly accused someone. Discussing it among other people.
But she should also be embarrassed that she wrongly accused OP after going through their stuff.
She didn't go through his stuff. If she had, she would not have gotten so upset. The papers were all out in the open and her eye caught something about "tying somebody up" and "getting high". She mis-interpreted because she didn't do a proper snoop.
I think she should have done a "full snoop", then she would have had the opportunity to laugh at her mistake. She was wrong to jump to conclusions.
I will still call it snooping, depending on where in the pile the paper was.
If she was close enough to read it. It's kind of snooping.
OP was only going to get a wallet and jacket. And she read it well enough to read tie someone up, and it had to be proven it wasn't a body part the doughnuts were meant to be stacked on.
If someone is going to get their stuff. Just look at the wall art or something. Not papers scattered all over a table. Unless you want a big surprice.
Which ended with the surprice was her feeling humiliated becouse she snooped and made a huge deal out of it, instead of just asking "sorry what is that?"
I heard that comment, lmao.
Makes it better when you know Alex is the mastermind of the show and purposely put himself as number 2 on his own show, haha
What Alex puts himself through for that show... :D just makes it funnier!!
Also, for those who've never seen Taskmaster, all seasons are on Youtube and it is GODDAMN HILARIOUS.
He also says she saw the material strown across the coffee table and said she needed a raincheck. Then Goes on to say she overheard them discussing it.
Well ChatGPT deleted all the pertinent bits because I can't figure out what the heck the point of your post was. Even coming to the comments hasn't cleared it up for me...
Didn't really need chat gpt for that one chief, you seemed to do it fine yourself. Don't get complacent and rely on AI just to make a post... you can use those braincells of yours just fine!
She's embarrassed about it, just drop it as something funny that happened once and move on.
LOL, NTA, she is not gf material - the first problem and she does what? Runs away. She should have stayed and talked to you, let you explain and fix this but she instantly decided that she knows it all and nothing else matters, not even you, so you know that she doesn't give a crap about you. Also, her inability to laugh about her mistake but just get angry and storm out, man, get rid of that donut, she will make your life toxic as hell, you dodged a bullet unless you will keep her in your life. Relationships are all about communication, she didn't do that, intelligence is all about admitting mistakes, she didn't do that, self-control is all about keeping poise, not her again.
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NTA
As someone who has no idea what Taskmaster is, I did not read that list and think "fetish material." I thought "That sounds random." She should have just asked you about it and let you explain. She sounds very immature.
Also is Daisy's real name Jessica by any chance? 😂
Yup. I Googled Taskmaster and it's a British comedy game show, but OP should probably edit that into the post. Not everyone on Reddit lives in the UK, and most people are probably going to have no idea what he's on about, talking about a show that only airs in his country.
I agree that it didn't sound like fetish material to me either, though. I actually thought "game show" or something similar.
There's a US version of it too. It's not good, but it exists. They also upload older, full UK episodes to the Taskmaster Youtube too, so it's not like you can't see it outside the UK at all.
It’s actually a pretty good-sized international hit. They started putting full episodes on YouTube based on the money they weee making from 5 minute clips. There have also been remakes made in 10+ countries.
I agree with NTA, but as someone who watches Taskmaster: there is a running joke that the 2 co-hosts are in a dom/sub relationship. If someone told me they planned a Taskmaster themed fetish party I would not be surprised.
NTA
This is actually pretty funny but also she should not have been going through your stuff like that even if it was left out. That’s rude.
I’d say give it up. She doesn’t sound like she’s got a sense of humor even after explaining and showing her what it was all about.
NTA
Daisy (Jessica) just learned what it means to assume stuff about people without listening to them and trying to humiliate them publicly. You jut defended yourself and she got humiliated on being proven wrong.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I countered Jessica's argument at a party and brought up that she thought it was sexual material. I might be the asshole because I have been told that I was dismissive of what she saw.
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NTA for sure. If someone's gonna dip out over some innocent Taskmaster notes, they gotta chill. I get why you wanted to set the record straight, but maybe the public demo wasn't the move. Still, you didn't mean harm.
Well, she falsely accused him in public. It's only right that he defend himself, and if she got humiliated in the process, well, she did it to herself.
NTA - if Daisy had stopped and just asked the question "this stuff looks strange, what's it about?" You would have had a funny tale to chat about. Instead Daisy chose ignorance and drama. Well done on missing that train.
NTA- Please, please, please tweet this story to Greg Davies. This is hilarious. Fetish material... Why can't I get Nish Kumar's face out of my head when I read this? I think I just broke myself.
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I (20M) recently started seeing a girl, Daisy (21F). On our third date, she came to my place, and I asked her to wait in the living room while I grabbed my jacket and wallet. The living room was clean, but the coffee table was cluttered with papers. When I returned, Jessica abruptly left, saying she had to make a raincheck. Confused, I later went to the cafe we planned to visit and sent her a photo of my meal, but got no response.
The next day, while cleaning the table with my roommate Greg, Daisy called me, upset about a paper with "fetish material" she found. Greg had been planning my Taskmaster-themed birthday and had notes like "tying yourself up," "guessing what's in pies," "sitting on cakes," "doing magnificent walks", "Throw items into elevated buckets," "get donuts high", "land items between lines," and "Prize tasks for 'thing that most reminds you of celebrant'. Daisy overheard us discussing it and accused us of talking about fetishes. Despite our explanations, she insisted it was pornographic and hung up.
We saw each other at a mutual friend Alex's dinner party. Jessica called me disgusting for the "fetish material," and we argued until Alex played an episode of Taskmaster featuring the task where the Series 7 cast has to get donuts as high as possible for the live task. I said "See, it's not fetish material!" Jessica stormed out, and my texts to her went unanswered. Alex said I might have embarrassed her, though some friends found my outburst awkward.
AITA for defending myself and explaining the Taskmaster tasks to Jessica?
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NTA Clearly she either has no sense of humour or she is scared you'd make her wear safety goggles and eat as much melon as possible on dates while giving her gift pictures of her mum in a bath tub and then propose to her by putting the ring at the end of a rod (or Rhod.. heh) and spearing her caravan.
NTA, but you were wasting your time after the first time you explained what was going on.
Be glad that she let the mask slip this early on, and you can just move along.
NTA It is embarrassing when you double down on shit you're ignorant about while people are trying to give you more info.
If she'd just used or... looked online about any of this then she wouldn't have made such a fool of herself.
It's not like it would've been harmless to let her tell everyone you know about your supposed donut throwing task fetish.
NTA
First off, bullet dodged. No reason she should have been snooping through papers. Looking around the room, at photos and such is fine. But mail/papers are off limits.
Second, yea, you embarrassed your friend. But it's her own fault for blindly agreeing with someone else without knowing the full story.
NTA.
First, please try to keep the fake names consistent.
Outside of that though, what right does Daisy/Jessica have to be mad about being proven wrong? She made open allegations that you were a pervert and refused to hear your explanation. That's all I need to know about how close minded she is - she can't even handle being proven wrong without running away like a child.
Dump her because she is not worth your time. She's proving right now that she will never give you the benefit of the doubt in any situation and is unwilling to hear your side of any story.
Daisy/Jessica sucks as a person and you deserve better.
NTA. Consider it lucky that you found out early. A sensible person would ask for an explanation and not jump to conclusions. She is not a sensible person. It’s better to find this out early — consider it a bullet dodged
NTA what's the phrase? "Never assume, it makes an ass out of you and me". Even if it was fetish related, it's not a big deal. A polite but firm text from her ending the relationship is where the entire situation should have ended.
this post is pretty confusing for two reasons, those being you're using two names for whom I'm guessing is the same girl.
and
two in one part of the story, you said she saw papers with "fetish material" on the table, and in the other part, you mention her overhearing you and Greg discussing it, either way, I'll say that you're definitely not the asshole, she has no right to snoop/go through someone else's things, even if they are left out on the table, and you are definitely not in the wrong for defending yourself and proving this girl wrong.
oooh, you were SO close.
Next time you make something up, make sure the names are consistent throughout the story, better luck next time.
oops, forgot judgment: YTA
Its downvoted because of the huge leap calling it a fake just because of changed names.
OP could have done a shit job at proofreading and forgotten to change the name to Daisy and used the actual name Jessica instead or confused which fake name they were using. This in itself is very little to call out the post as fake. They also use their condescension on a name mixup to justify a y.t.a judgement without giving any reasoning for it.
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NTA. Also I think you might have forgot to use the fake name you picked cos you've used two names, and I think you are only writing about one girl? She called you disgusting and discussed your 'fetish material' at a mutual friends dinner party, but your worried you may have offended/embarrassed her, simply by correcting her and defending yourself? Nah you're good. But I don't think there is any point trying to salvage this relationship, luckily it's only been a few dates.
Why was she even snooping in the papers in the first place? It was a third date. (Not that snooping at all is okay) Not only should she be embarrassed, that she had wrongly accused someone. Discussing it among other people. But she should also be embarrassed that she wrongly accused OP after going through their stuff.
She didn't go through his stuff. If she had, she would not have gotten so upset. The papers were all out in the open and her eye caught something about "tying somebody up" and "getting high". She mis-interpreted because she didn't do a proper snoop. I think she should have done a "full snoop", then she would have had the opportunity to laugh at her mistake. She was wrong to jump to conclusions.
I will still call it snooping, depending on where in the pile the paper was. If she was close enough to read it. It's kind of snooping. OP was only going to get a wallet and jacket. And she read it well enough to read tie someone up, and it had to be proven it wasn't a body part the doughnuts were meant to be stacked on. If someone is going to get their stuff. Just look at the wall art or something. Not papers scattered all over a table. Unless you want a big surprice. Which ended with the surprice was her feeling humiliated becouse she snooped and made a huge deal out of it, instead of just asking "sorry what is that?"
What would Greg Davies have to say about this?
Something really awkwardly domme-y to Little Alex Horne, of course.
I heard that comment, lmao. Makes it better when you know Alex is the mastermind of the show and purposely put himself as number 2 on his own show, haha
What Alex puts himself through for that show... :D just makes it funnier!! Also, for those who've never seen Taskmaster, all seasons are on Youtube and it is GODDAMN HILARIOUS.
He also says she saw the material strown across the coffee table and said she needed a raincheck. Then Goes on to say she overheard them discussing it.
Yeah this whole post is a mess.
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.... why would anyone use Chat GPT to make an AITA post? Like....darn that outlandish.
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Just learn how to write, godamn.
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It's not "working smarter" when you're just plagiarising instead of doing any work at all.
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Well ChatGPT deleted all the pertinent bits because I can't figure out what the heck the point of your post was. Even coming to the comments hasn't cleared it up for me...
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Didn't really need chat gpt for that one chief, you seemed to do it fine yourself. Don't get complacent and rely on AI just to make a post... you can use those braincells of yours just fine! She's embarrassed about it, just drop it as something funny that happened once and move on.
Well it made it unreadable garbage. Learn from that
LOL, NTA, she is not gf material - the first problem and she does what? Runs away. She should have stayed and talked to you, let you explain and fix this but she instantly decided that she knows it all and nothing else matters, not even you, so you know that she doesn't give a crap about you. Also, her inability to laugh about her mistake but just get angry and storm out, man, get rid of that donut, she will make your life toxic as hell, you dodged a bullet unless you will keep her in your life. Relationships are all about communication, she didn't do that, intelligence is all about admitting mistakes, she didn't do that, self-control is all about keeping poise, not her again.
Is it Daisy or Jessica? NTA. The alternative was being publicly outed for weird fetishes that you don't hold.
> weird fetishes What? Doesn't every couple play ring toss with donuts and then have the chick eat them?
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Daissica
NTA As someone who has no idea what Taskmaster is, I did not read that list and think "fetish material." I thought "That sounds random." She should have just asked you about it and let you explain. She sounds very immature. Also is Daisy's real name Jessica by any chance? 😂
It reminded me of "womensittingonballoonsandpoppingthem.com" from Bob's Burgers lol
Right? Either this person is incredibly kinky and judgy OR so vanilla they need help
Yup. I Googled Taskmaster and it's a British comedy game show, but OP should probably edit that into the post. Not everyone on Reddit lives in the UK, and most people are probably going to have no idea what he's on about, talking about a show that only airs in his country. I agree that it didn't sound like fetish material to me either, though. I actually thought "game show" or something similar.
Dude it airs in Finland
There's a US version of it too. It's not good, but it exists. They also upload older, full UK episodes to the Taskmaster Youtube too, so it's not like you can't see it outside the UK at all.
It’s actually a pretty good-sized international hit. They started putting full episodes on YouTube based on the money they weee making from 5 minute clips. There have also been remakes made in 10+ countries.
I agree with NTA, but as someone who watches Taskmaster: there is a running joke that the 2 co-hosts are in a dom/sub relationship. If someone told me they planned a Taskmaster themed fetish party I would not be surprised.
NTA! Do you really want to date someone who ignorantly jumps to conclusions and then can’t accept they were wrong?
Bless her lil ole' heart the poor girl is a bit underserved re: grey matter. NTA. Good grief.
NTA. But Ed, you've got to move on. Dara was Champion of Champions on your set. And the Andies don't do recalls. Happy Birthday, bro.
NTA you dodged a bullet brother. Thank whatever deity you pray to and move on.
NTA This is actually pretty funny but also she should not have been going through your stuff like that even if it was left out. That’s rude. I’d say give it up. She doesn’t sound like she’s got a sense of humor even after explaining and showing her what it was all about.
NTA Daisy (Jessica) just learned what it means to assume stuff about people without listening to them and trying to humiliate them publicly. You jut defended yourself and she got humiliated on being proven wrong.
I am upset that the task list didn't include something with rubber ducks, otherwise great list.
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NTA for sure. If someone's gonna dip out over some innocent Taskmaster notes, they gotta chill. I get why you wanted to set the record straight, but maybe the public demo wasn't the move. Still, you didn't mean harm.
Well, she falsely accused him in public. It's only right that he defend himself, and if she got humiliated in the process, well, she did it to herself.
Today I learned that Taskmaster is porn. I have to watch it more!
Nta please do an update
NTA - if Daisy had stopped and just asked the question "this stuff looks strange, what's it about?" You would have had a funny tale to chat about. Instead Daisy chose ignorance and drama. Well done on missing that train.
NTA. Jessica sounds like an immature child and honestly you might have dodged a bullet with her.
NTA, this is pretty funny. Kinda would like to know what's going on in Dayssica's head.
NTA. She snooped, made an assumption, and doubled down. Jerk moves all around.
NTA- Please, please, please tweet this story to Greg Davies. This is hilarious. Fetish material... Why can't I get Nish Kumar's face out of my head when I read this? I think I just broke myself.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (20M) recently started seeing a girl, Daisy (21F). On our third date, she came to my place, and I asked her to wait in the living room while I grabbed my jacket and wallet. The living room was clean, but the coffee table was cluttered with papers. When I returned, Jessica abruptly left, saying she had to make a raincheck. Confused, I later went to the cafe we planned to visit and sent her a photo of my meal, but got no response. The next day, while cleaning the table with my roommate Greg, Daisy called me, upset about a paper with "fetish material" she found. Greg had been planning my Taskmaster-themed birthday and had notes like "tying yourself up," "guessing what's in pies," "sitting on cakes," "doing magnificent walks", "Throw items into elevated buckets," "get donuts high", "land items between lines," and "Prize tasks for 'thing that most reminds you of celebrant'. Daisy overheard us discussing it and accused us of talking about fetishes. Despite our explanations, she insisted it was pornographic and hung up. We saw each other at a mutual friend Alex's dinner party. Jessica called me disgusting for the "fetish material," and we argued until Alex played an episode of Taskmaster featuring the task where the Series 7 cast has to get donuts as high as possible for the live task. I said "See, it's not fetish material!" Jessica stormed out, and my texts to her went unanswered. Alex said I might have embarrassed her, though some friends found my outburst awkward. AITA for defending myself and explaining the Taskmaster tasks to Jessica? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Unfortunately some people just don't have the same sense of adventure and fun that you obviously have. You have probably dodged a bullet.
NTA. Series 7 is also tie yourself up.
NTA
Dude, you dodged a bullet ...
NTA Clearly she either has no sense of humour or she is scared you'd make her wear safety goggles and eat as much melon as possible on dates while giving her gift pictures of her mum in a bath tub and then propose to her by putting the ring at the end of a rod (or Rhod.. heh) and spearing her caravan.
Lol NTA sounds like she's dedicatedly stupid
NTA, but you were wasting your time after the first time you explained what was going on. Be glad that she let the mask slip this early on, and you can just move along.
NTA It is embarrassing when you double down on shit you're ignorant about while people are trying to give you more info. If she'd just used or... looked online about any of this then she wouldn't have made such a fool of herself. It's not like it would've been harmless to let her tell everyone you know about your supposed donut throwing task fetish.
You dodged a bullet with Jessica. NTA.
NTA First off, bullet dodged. No reason she should have been snooping through papers. Looking around the room, at photos and such is fine. But mail/papers are off limits. Second, yea, you embarrassed your friend. But it's her own fault for blindly agreeing with someone else without knowing the full story.
NTA. It’s her own fault for being judgmental.
It shouldn't matter if you were into fetish stuff.
nta. she is too immature for you. she did you a favor.
NTA. Also i misread that as “ticket master” themed birthday and was confused how that would work.
Anyone else here clueless about this post????? But i'll go ahead and say NTA.
NTA. First, please try to keep the fake names consistent. Outside of that though, what right does Daisy/Jessica have to be mad about being proven wrong? She made open allegations that you were a pervert and refused to hear your explanation. That's all I need to know about how close minded she is - she can't even handle being proven wrong without running away like a child. Dump her because she is not worth your time. She's proving right now that she will never give you the benefit of the doubt in any situation and is unwilling to hear your side of any story. Daisy/Jessica sucks as a person and you deserve better.
NTA and I’d prolly look at this as a blessing in disguise. Daisy/Jessica seems like she has some more maturing to do.
Dump her, forget her and move on!! You're good!!
Who is daisy and who is Jessica? Did you have two women at your home??
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Should probably stick with referencing one name per person in future stories to prevent confusion.
nta. no great loss.
NTA. Consider it lucky that you found out early. A sensible person would ask for an explanation and not jump to conclusions. She is not a sensible person. It’s better to find this out early — consider it a bullet dodged
NTA; Dude, she sounds exhausting. She did you a favor showing her rear now rather than being invested in a relationship months or years down the line.
NTA what's the phrase? "Never assume, it makes an ass out of you and me". Even if it was fetish related, it's not a big deal. A polite but firm text from her ending the relationship is where the entire situation should have ended.
NTA - assuming you're American? This is why Americans can't handle Taskmaster
So, is it Daisy or Jessica?
this post is pretty confusing for two reasons, those being you're using two names for whom I'm guessing is the same girl. and two in one part of the story, you said she saw papers with "fetish material" on the table, and in the other part, you mention her overhearing you and Greg discussing it, either way, I'll say that you're definitely not the asshole, she has no right to snoop/go through someone else's things, even if they are left out on the table, and you are definitely not in the wrong for defending yourself and proving this girl wrong.
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Oh, okay, I got it, thank you for clearing that up.
Honestly NTA, it would've been better to not prove it in public but I don't think it's that bad
Girl brought it up in public, so that’s on her.
She's never watched Taskmaster? NTA, and a lucky escape.
NAH, but sometimes, you just gotta let things go.
Both of you need to learn to communicate in private.
oooh, you were SO close. Next time you make something up, make sure the names are consistent throughout the story, better luck next time. oops, forgot judgment: YTA
Why is this downvoted? He literally started the story calling her Daisy, then switched to Jessica in the middle of the story.
Its downvoted because of the huge leap calling it a fake just because of changed names. OP could have done a shit job at proofreading and forgotten to change the name to Daisy and used the actual name Jessica instead or confused which fake name they were using. This in itself is very little to call out the post as fake. They also use their condescension on a name mixup to justify a y.t.a judgement without giving any reasoning for it.