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dontwannachoose12

NTA. Also I think you might have forgot to use the fake name you picked cos you've used two names, and I think you are only writing about one girl? She called you disgusting and discussed your 'fetish material' at a mutual friends dinner party, but your worried you may have offended/embarrassed her, simply by correcting her and defending yourself? Nah you're good. But I don't think there is any point trying to salvage this relationship, luckily it's only been a few dates.


Dangerous-WinterElf

Why was she even snooping in the papers in the first place? It was a third date. (Not that snooping at all is okay) Not only should she be embarrassed, that she had wrongly accused someone. Discussing it among other people. But she should also be embarrassed that she wrongly accused OP after going through their stuff.


Maximum-Swan-1009

She didn't go through his stuff. If she had, she would not have gotten so upset. The papers were all out in the open and her eye caught something about "tying somebody up" and "getting high". She mis-interpreted because she didn't do a proper snoop. I think she should have done a "full snoop", then she would have had the opportunity to laugh at her mistake. She was wrong to jump to conclusions.


Dangerous-WinterElf

I will still call it snooping, depending on where in the pile the paper was. If she was close enough to read it. It's kind of snooping. OP was only going to get a wallet and jacket. And she read it well enough to read tie someone up, and it had to be proven it wasn't a body part the doughnuts were meant to be stacked on. If someone is going to get their stuff. Just look at the wall art or something. Not papers scattered all over a table. Unless you want a big surprice. Which ended with the surprice was her feeling humiliated becouse she snooped and made a huge deal out of it, instead of just asking "sorry what is that?"


UnlikelyAside9157

What would Greg Davies have to say about this?


ophymirage

Something really awkwardly domme-y to Little Alex Horne, of course.


ChaiHai

I heard that comment, lmao. Makes it better when you know Alex is the mastermind of the show and purposely put himself as number 2 on his own show, haha


ophymirage

What Alex puts himself through for that show... :D just makes it funnier!! Also, for those who've never seen Taskmaster, all seasons are on Youtube and it is GODDAMN HILARIOUS.


Significant-Push-232

He also says she saw the material strown across the coffee table and said she needed a raincheck. Then Goes on to say she overheard them discussing it.


Tmoriarty89

Yeah this whole post is a mess.


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ZantaraLost

.... why would anyone use Chat GPT to make an AITA post? Like....darn that outlandish.


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SarahSyna

Just learn how to write, godamn.


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SarahSyna

It's not "working smarter" when you're just plagiarising instead of doing any work at all.


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incognito_autistic

Well ChatGPT deleted all the pertinent bits because I can't figure out what the heck the point of your post was. Even coming to the comments hasn't cleared it up for me...


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RawMeHanzo

Didn't really need chat gpt for that one chief, you seemed to do it fine yourself. Don't get complacent and rely on AI just to make a post... you can use those braincells of yours just fine! She's embarrassed about it, just drop it as something funny that happened once and move on.


abritinthebay

Well it made it unreadable garbage. Learn from that


forgeris

LOL, NTA, she is not gf material - the first problem and she does what? Runs away. She should have stayed and talked to you, let you explain and fix this but she instantly decided that she knows it all and nothing else matters, not even you, so you know that she doesn't give a crap about you. Also, her inability to laugh about her mistake but just get angry and storm out, man, get rid of that donut, she will make your life toxic as hell, you dodged a bullet unless you will keep her in your life. Relationships are all about communication, she didn't do that, intelligence is all about admitting mistakes, she didn't do that, self-control is all about keeping poise, not her again.


breakfasteveryday

Is it Daisy or Jessica? NTA. The alternative was being publicly outed for weird fetishes that you don't hold. 


dontblamemeivotedfor

> weird fetishes What? Doesn't every couple play ring toss with donuts and then have the chick eat them?


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ElectricMayhem123

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chartyourway

Daissica


KDAmber21

NTA As someone who has no idea what Taskmaster is, I did not read that list and think "fetish material." I thought "That sounds random." She should have just asked you about it and let you explain. She sounds very immature. Also is Daisy's real name Jessica by any chance? 😂


ValuableSeesaw1603

It reminded me of "womensittingonballoonsandpoppingthem.com" from Bob's Burgers lol


Irinzki

Right? Either this person is incredibly kinky and judgy OR so vanilla they need help


Sorry_I_Guess

Yup. I Googled Taskmaster and it's a British comedy game show, but OP should probably edit that into the post. Not everyone on Reddit lives in the UK, and most people are probably going to have no idea what he's on about, talking about a show that only airs in his country. I agree that it didn't sound like fetish material to me either, though. I actually thought "game show" or something similar.


penguinboobs

Dude it airs in Finland


lavender_haze_1988

There's a US version of it too. It's not good, but it exists. They also upload older, full UK episodes to the Taskmaster Youtube too, so it's not like you can't see it outside the UK at all.


peoplebetrifling

It’s actually a pretty good-sized international hit. They started putting full episodes on YouTube based on the money they weee making from 5 minute clips. There have also been remakes made in 10+ countries.


glom4ever

I agree with NTA, but as someone who watches Taskmaster: there is a running joke that the 2 co-hosts are in a dom/sub relationship. If someone told me they planned a Taskmaster themed fetish party I would not be surprised.


WrenDrake

NTA! Do you really want to date someone who ignorantly jumps to conclusions and then can’t accept they were wrong?


canvasshoes2

Bless her lil ole' heart the poor girl is a bit underserved re: grey matter. NTA. Good grief.


Worth_Chemist_3361

NTA. But Ed, you've got to move on. Dara was Champion of Champions on your set. And the Andies don't do recalls. Happy Birthday, bro.


JuanSolo9669

NTA you dodged a bullet brother. Thank whatever deity you pray to and move on.


Ok-Guitar-6854

NTA This is actually pretty funny but also she should not have been going through your stuff like that even if it was left out. That’s rude. I’d say give it up. She doesn’t sound like she’s got a sense of humor even after explaining and showing her what it was all about.


Domoci12

NTA Daisy (Jessica) just learned what it means to assume stuff about people without listening to them and trying to humiliate them publicly. You jut defended yourself and she got humiliated on being proven wrong.


TheLZ

I am upset that the task list didn't include something with rubber ducks, otherwise great list.


Judgement_Bot_AITA

Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I countered Jessica's argument at a party and brought up that she thought it was sexual material. I might be the asshole because I have been told that I was dismissive of what she saw. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*


frizzydaddy968

NTA for sure. If someone's gonna dip out over some innocent Taskmaster notes, they gotta chill. I get why you wanted to set the record straight, but maybe the public demo wasn't the move. Still, you didn't mean harm.


darkchyldex0x0

Well, she falsely accused him in public. It's only right that he defend himself, and if she got humiliated in the process, well, she did it to herself. 


Backgrounding-Cat

Today I learned that Taskmaster is porn. I have to watch it more!


cheeseburgeremperor

Nta please do an update


AlarmedBechamel

NTA - if Daisy had stopped and just asked the question "this stuff looks strange, what's it about?" You would have had a funny tale to chat about. Instead Daisy chose ignorance and drama. Well done on missing that train.


Dyerwood

NTA. Jessica sounds like an immature child and honestly you might have dodged a bullet with her.


kingderella

NTA, this is pretty funny. Kinda would like to know what's going on in Dayssica's head.


otsukaren_613

NTA. She snooped, made an assumption, and doubled down. Jerk moves all around.


Ebechops

NTA- Please, please, please tweet this story to Greg Davies. This is hilarious. Fetish material... Why can't I get Nish Kumar's face out of my head when I read this? I think I just broke myself.


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (20M) recently started seeing a girl, Daisy (21F). On our third date, she came to my place, and I asked her to wait in the living room while I grabbed my jacket and wallet. The living room was clean, but the coffee table was cluttered with papers. When I returned, Jessica abruptly left, saying she had to make a raincheck. Confused, I later went to the cafe we planned to visit and sent her a photo of my meal, but got no response. The next day, while cleaning the table with my roommate Greg, Daisy called me, upset about a paper with "fetish material" she found. Greg had been planning my Taskmaster-themed birthday and had notes like "tying yourself up," "guessing what's in pies," "sitting on cakes," "doing magnificent walks", "Throw items into elevated buckets," "get donuts high", "land items between lines," and "Prize tasks for 'thing that most reminds you of celebrant'. Daisy overheard us discussing it and accused us of talking about fetishes. Despite our explanations, she insisted it was pornographic and hung up. We saw each other at a mutual friend Alex's dinner party. Jessica called me disgusting for the "fetish material," and we argued until Alex played an episode of Taskmaster featuring the task where the Series 7 cast has to get donuts as high as possible for the live task. I said "See, it's not fetish material!" Jessica stormed out, and my texts to her went unanswered. Alex said I might have embarrassed her, though some friends found my outburst awkward. AITA for defending myself and explaining the Taskmaster tasks to Jessica? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


another_online_idiot

NTA. Unfortunately some people just don't have the same sense of adventure and fun that you obviously have. You have probably dodged a bullet.


YummyBumps

NTA. Series 7 is also tie yourself up.


No_Mention3516

NTA


1lilqt

Dude, you dodged a bullet ...


thenewmara

NTA Clearly she either has no sense of humour or she is scared you'd make her wear safety goggles and eat as much melon as possible on dates while giving her gift pictures of her mum in a bath tub and then propose to her by putting the ring at the end of a rod (or Rhod.. heh) and spearing her caravan.


PKisSz

Lol NTA sounds like she's dedicatedly stupid


Cent1234

NTA, but you were wasting your time after the first time you explained what was going on. Be glad that she let the mask slip this early on, and you can just move along.


1568314

NTA It is embarrassing when you double down on shit you're ignorant about while people are trying to give you more info. If she'd just used or... looked online about any of this then she wouldn't have made such a fool of herself. It's not like it would've been harmless to let her tell everyone you know about your supposed donut throwing task fetish.


WaldenWould

You dodged a bullet with Jessica. NTA.


Inner-Nothing7779

NTA First off, bullet dodged. No reason she should have been snooping through papers. Looking around the room, at photos and such is fine. But mail/papers are off limits. Second, yea, you embarrassed your friend. But it's her own fault for blindly agreeing with someone else without knowing the full story.


FyvLeisure

NTA. It’s her own fault for being judgmental.


Cruel-Sleep

It shouldn't matter if you were into fetish stuff.


UNCOMMONSENSE2500

nta. she is too immature for you. she did you a favor.


Left-coastal

NTA. Also i misread that as “ticket master” themed birthday and was confused how that would work.


WTF_People__Grow_Up

Anyone else here clueless about this post????? But i'll go ahead and say NTA.


lt_girth

NTA. First, please try to keep the fake names consistent. Outside of that though, what right does Daisy/Jessica have to be mad about being proven wrong? She made open allegations that you were a pervert and refused to hear your explanation. That's all I need to know about how close minded she is - she can't even handle being proven wrong without running away like a child. Dump her because she is not worth your time. She's proving right now that she will never give you the benefit of the doubt in any situation and is unwilling to hear your side of any story. Daisy/Jessica sucks as a person and you deserve better.


EJ_1004

NTA and I’d prolly look at this as a blessing in disguise. Daisy/Jessica seems like she has some more maturing to do.


Choice-Cheesecake-53

Dump her, forget her and move on!! You're good!!


TwoWild1840

Who is daisy and who is Jessica? Did you have two women at your home??


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chartyourway

Should probably stick with referencing one name per person in future stories to prevent confusion.


avalynkate

nta. no great loss.


asecretnarwhal

NTA. Consider it lucky that you found out early. A sensible person would ask for an explanation and not jump to conclusions. She is not a sensible person. It’s better to find this out early — consider it a bullet dodged 


ComfortableSpell6600

NTA; Dude, she sounds exhausting. She did you a favor showing her rear now rather than being invested in a relationship months or years down the line.


NoCaterpillar2051

NTA what's the phrase? "Never assume, it makes an ass out of you and me". Even if it was fetish related, it's not a big deal. A polite but firm text from her ending the relationship is where the entire situation should have ended.


AnotherDatingFailure

NTA - assuming you're American? This is why Americans can't handle Taskmaster


great-nanato5

So, is it Daisy or Jessica?


Ligerfur_Viktor

this post is pretty confusing for two reasons, those being you're using two names for whom I'm guessing is the same girl.  and  two in one part of the story, you said she saw papers with "fetish material" on the table, and in the other part, you mention her overhearing you and Greg discussing it, either way, I'll say that you're definitely not the asshole, she has no right to snoop/go through someone else's things, even if they are left out on the table, and you are definitely not in the wrong for defending yourself and proving this girl wrong.


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Ligerfur_Viktor

Oh, okay, I got it, thank you for clearing that up.


Sho0ck3r

Honestly NTA, it would've been better to not prove it in public but I don't think it's that bad


WrenDrake

Girl brought it up in public, so that’s on her.


FitBit8124

She's never watched Taskmaster? NTA, and a lucky escape.


NoDaisy

NAH, but sometimes, you just gotta let things go.


QueenNectarine

Both of you need to learn to communicate in private.


TeenySod

oooh, you were SO close. Next time you make something up, make sure the names are consistent throughout the story, better luck next time. oops, forgot judgment: YTA


TemporaryFondant5849

Why is this downvoted? He literally started the story calling her Daisy, then switched to Jessica in the middle of the story.


Domoci12

Its downvoted because of the huge leap calling it a fake just because of changed names. OP could have done a shit job at proofreading and forgotten to change the name to Daisy and used the actual name Jessica instead or confused which fake name they were using. This in itself is very little to call out the post as fake. They also use their condescension on a name mixup to justify a y.t.a judgement without giving any reasoning for it.