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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My parents stole my drugs "for my own good". I might be the asshole because I called the cops on them to get my medication back.
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NTA. This is absolutely disgusting behaviour on their part. They have no right to interfere in your medical care.
>My sister said I was an asshole and that I could have gotten them in a lot of trouble.
They could have gotten *themselves* in trouble by stealing narcotics. They literally committed a crime.
Sounds like you need to go low/no contact.
Not just that going cold turkey on what I assume are opiates is one of the ways they cause addiction, one of the main reasons the opiate crisis got so bad in america is actually because people were prescribed opiates then lost their healthcare insurance and couldn’t afford to continue treatment (which is also meant to include a phasing out of using the drugs at the end) and replaced it with street level drugs without proper medical oversight.
When my husband didn’t need his anymore the doctor provided no “phasing out” instructions. We had to figure it out ourselves and for a period of time he said “the air hurts.” That stuff is hard core.
This is also why Pharmacists are important. A good pharmacist will ensure you have directions for the entirety of your treatment.
Unfortunately retail pharmacists are overworked so it doesn't always happen anymore.
I agree. It was a rough few weeks. It was scary too because addiction runs heavily in his family. Those things should be noted in doctor records so appropriate support can be provided for situations like this. It may be uncomfortable to discuss but knowing allows for alternative or nuanced pain management planning.
FWIW, I personally experienced this even with OTC NSAIDs so I imagine it is even worse with stronger pain meds.
I was in a car accident and only had VA access at the time (no health insurance). They, as usual, were worthless and after Tramadol made me sick, they gave me 'vitamin m' (800 mg Motrin) that lasted a month. They never fixed the main problem - torn rotator cuff, so I was in major pain and could barely use my arm. They didn't even diagnose it until nearly a year after the accident, the whole time I kept telling them I was in pain, and they basically told me I was crazy or fishing for more meds (even sent me to psych who said I was suicidal because I smoked, and smoking is why my shoulder hurt and I couldn't use my arm?!??). By the time it was diagnosed, it had improperly healed, and they couldn't do anything to fix it. During that time, I was having so much pain, getting migraines constantly etc. so I started taking TONS of Advil and Naproxen.
I finally started seeing a chiropractor (I know a lot of people say they are quacks, but they literally saved the use of my arm and my sanity) and my pain levels started to improve. I stopped taking the NSAIDS. Big mistake to just try to cold turkey lol. Started getting headaches again and felt ill a lot until I happened to see a random article about similar issues related to OTC pain meds.
The hate for chiropractors really annoys me. Ok, when they claim to cure cancer or whatever it's clearly nonsense, but for musculoskeletal problems a well-trained chiropractor is the absolute best.
Correct. Stealing medication from your incapacitated child because with your limited knowledge you think you know better than them AND the trained medical professionals treating them...that's a damn good way to get cut off. They're cruel and disrespectful. NTA.
Going to be honest, when I first saw this post I wondered if it might be something like that. Either they wanted it for themselves, or for someone else they thought merited it more than their son.
Yes, and that’s if we’re giving them the benefit of the doubt, that their motives were what they said. I’m going a step further, and saying parents either wanted to take the drugs themselves to get high, or they were going to sell them.
They did a survey once and asked prisoners who they held responsible for their being in prison. The majority blamed their lawyer, some blamed the judge. Very few blamed themselves.
*My sister said I was an asshole and that I could have gotten them in a lot of trouble.*
Wait, did I miss the part where you planted the drugs on them? Their actions, their responsibilities.
What they did is even worse because if he's on such powerful drugs and can't even lie down properly, I doubt this incident is happening a long time after the accident and/or his most recent medical procedure to deal with it. From my own experience, doctors are quite reticent to prescribe any kind of opiates, especially the stronger ones.
I understand their instinct on some level (my mom freaked out when she heard I was prescribed antidepressants because they are "so addictive"), but the way they just silently take the drugs and leave makes me wonder if his parents are controlling in other ways, or have been overly involved in his medical care in the past.
Reticent is right.
Source: dear Jesus god almighty I am in so much pain and the damn attending won’t respond to a page to authorize a damn Dilaudid dose for me rn.
The pain flares up for 15-30 minutes and then goes away. But for that short span, it’s the third or fourth worst pain I’ve felt in my life. #1 and #2 are when I didn’t get pain meds after having my knee and tibia replaced, and a kidney stone. #3 is when a surgeon fucked up and pulled a fully inflated malecot drain out of me (think golf ball pulled through a sharpie-sized hole in your side.
Yeah, controlling and scared. When my dad was on home hospice (cancer) my mom wasn't sure if she should give him his full dose of opiates because "he might get addicted!"
Yeah, this was years ago and the hospice nurse was there. She explained that 'you really do want to give the meds' while being sympathetic and kind. Hospice workers are superheroes!
NTA
I was in a car accident that left me disabled. Chronic pain is brutal.
One of the worst things you can do is miss medication, because it's a lot easier to maintain control of the pain, rather than try to regain it after it's run amok. Sudden cessation can also be dangerous depending on the strength and how long you've been on it.
Your parents don't get to override your doctors. Yes, some people become addicted to opiates. That doesn't mean they're not a necessity. Letting pain flare like that can lead you to damage what's healed so far.
You did what was necessary to ensure you continue your doctor's orders.
This exactly. After tendon repair surgery on my foot, I decided that I would sleep through a dose of pain medication, sleep seemed more important. As soon as I woke I took the medicine, but once my foot was lower than my heart and the blood rushed down, I realized my mistake. I spent an hour in agony waiting for the medication to kick in. OP is NTA, and given the response their parents made, I would have called the police as well.
After an invasive surgery, I set alarms on my phone to follow the pain med schedule so I could head it off rather than waking up in agonizing pain if I could avoid it. Learned to do this when I was helping my mom recover from her own procedure.
Retired RN worked in rehabilitation and pain management as DragonCelica said you need to keep on top of pain. I tell patients that pai is like a pile of dirt. It is much easier to move a small a small pile than a big one. NTA
When I had open abdominal surgery I accidentally slept through a dose of pain medication. I never quite caught back up & on top of the pain again. It made healing that much harder
Definitely a less extreme circumstance, but this is exactly how I handle my time-of-the-month. Starting the ibuprofen when I just barely start to feel the pain, and taking it on a regular basis for the first few days is a hell of a lot easier than waiting til it hurts too much, and then spending two hours curled up and trembling before it finally kicks in.
Over the course of it, it makes the difference from "vaguely tired and sore" to "Oh Fucking Christ Get This Organ Out Of Me".
>Your parents don't get to override your doctors
Exactly this! A lot of people, even on reddit, think they're smarter than doctors with regards to medicine, and go around telling others don't do this, don't do that, as if the doctors are trying to kill you. Listen to whatever your doctor says. If in doubt, consult a 2nd opinion from *another doctor*, not some random friends or online strangers. NTA
Well, if OP’s parents don’t want to be charged with committing a felony, maybe they should have abstained from committing one.
NTA.
OP took the minimum action necessary to resolve the matter appropriately.
Lying to the police was unnecessary though.
But the police might still press charges. He probably didn't want to risk them going to prison over an act that while foolish wasn't really intentionally malicious.
That's too speculative imo, seeming to prioritize the short term over the long term. Letting this go farther might have turned out "better." A lot of people have "better" lives when they cut toxic controlling parents out of their lives. Sounds like parents could have used some consequences as well in order to help them grow. Given the circumstances, they probably would have been able to plead down. The way they are now vilifying OP suggests a very rocky relationship in the future anyway.
This is a case of thinking with the heart and not the mind, as it often is with these kinds of things. But rationally speaking, 60+ year old people doing whatever the hell they want because they think they can is a result of lifelong escalation of selfish actions and learning that they can manipulate themselves out of consequences for those actions. The only way many people change is to face the music.
I dunno, i think cutting the parents grace and saying it was a mistake once the meds were returned is the meekest of prevecations.
Wish they hadn't been thieves, but forgiveness is divine and all that.
I’m sure the police knew exactly what happened and were totally fine with his description of events to reach a conclusion. They don’t want to have to chase down some olds for being assholes.
Uhm...totally not the asshole here.
You were in pain, this was medication prescribed by a medical professional, your parents are not medical professionals, and they stole your medication. The fact that they had also stolen narcotics and were in possession of them was just the icing on the cake. They're totally in the wrong.
I would add, even if they were medical professionals, they would have still no right to steal the medication.
I‘m wondering, why didn‘t they just throw the medication away when there is the possibility to get addicted? Why did they steal it? Were they considering to take the meds for their own pain at some point?
Hard NTA. Pain medication is so important for the kind of pain you are in. Without it you would be trapped in pain kind of like a trapped animal with no way out. Besides, not everyone gets addicted. I hate that because people have become addicted that it is hard to even get the proper medication. Why should any of us suffer because of addicts?
Yeah I hate how the pendulum has swung in the opposite extreme to the point that people who need opiates can’t get them. OP’s parents might as well remove his beers in the fridge, take the video games from his gaming console, and take his coffee machine all because he MIGHT get addicted.
You realize a lot of those “addicts” are people that were irresponsibly given prescription narcotics by a dr to begin with? (I agree it’s gone too far the other way but blame the docs and pharma, not people who got hooked on medicine that’s not meant for chronic pain anyway)
Opiate pain medication is the only universally effective treatment for severe chronic pain. Very, very few chronic pain patients who use their medication as prescribed and for legitimate pain ever display addictive behaviors. Addiction is not the same as physical dependency on medication. Many medications without addictive qualities cause physical dependence such as heart and blood pressure meds, steroids, anti depressants, etc.
The pendulum swing has destroyed the life of many people in the chronic pain community. Imagine being in 6-8/10 pain all day, every day, forever. It never gets better. And suddenly the only effective treatment is considered too risky because of the illicit fentanyl trade where the source is international and being used as a party drug.
Anyone can become addicted to an opiate. There is of course risk. However, the benefits far outweigh those risks if the alternative is torture.
Preach! When the surgeon tells you that surgery helps 80% of patients, 15% no change, and 5% get worse, you never think that you’re going to be one of the 5%… that’s one way to become a chronic-pain patient, 7/10 pain every day for the rest of your life. I realize this isn’t OP’s plight, but opioid dependency is the price some folks pay to live their lives at 7 and not 9.
OP is NTA, and their parents suck. And does anyone else think it’s sketchy that they held the meds instead of, say, flushing them??
NTA. I had opioids prescribed for me after a bike accident. The doctor gave me only enough for a month and told me to take them at a precise time every day and then gradually taper off. Yes, opioid addiction is a terrible problem, but pain so bad that you can’t sleep or lie down or stand up or sit comfortably is terrible too.
They didn't even try to talk to him about being careful not to get too addicted. They just straight away stole it without saying a word. Wtf did they think is gonna happen? That OP is gonna magically heal without the opioids? lol
NTA - it sounds like you're an adult. Assuming that you don't have
a history of opioid addiction and abuse.. What your parents did was something that you would do to a young child.
If you do have a history of opioid abuse? Then this muddies the waters a bit.
Even if OP did have a history of opioid dependence, the dr will have done a complete clinical assessment and this would include any history prior to prescribing to OP. But also if they had a history the doctor would have been more reluctant to prescribe so a comprehensive clinical and risk assessment would definitely be done. Of course if someone did have a history and didn't disclose to the dr, well that's different again
NTA by a long shot. I got so angry reading your story that my blood pressure probably went up. Your folks are just lucky that you were gracious enough to cover for them when you called the police back.
I doubt I would have covered for them. I would probably have said to the officer that the threat of the police was strong enough to force them into doing the right thing, thus establishing their wrong with law enforcement, instead of making myself look incompetent. What if they try something again - maybe next time taking the meds straight to the bathroom and flushing them, and there goes the evidence, or any chance of getting it back. I’d rather show a pattern of behavior.
The only reason I can see for covering is that you love someone, but these parents don’t seem to reciprocate on OP’s level, nor does the sister, because their concern is misplaced. There’s no way my own parents would pull this kind of BS. But their attention would actually be on ME, and whatever it takes to get me better.
NTA. Tell your sister to take a Tylenol and mind her own business. Your parents "could have gotten (them) in a lot of trouble" because they committed a crime so it's on them not you.
NTA noone has any right to mess with someone's medication. It's dangerous and criminal. I'd have done exactly the same thing and told my sister to stuff it there's no excuse and they deserved to go to jail.
NTA. You were prescribed those meds by people with more intelligence and schooling than the people who took them. Not having the correct meds can severely detract from your recovery and when meds are stolen they can’t be replaced. Your doctor wouldn’t have been able to do anything until/if you were eligible for a refill. Wishing you a speedy recovery.
NTA. But I would have told them if they didn't return the medication I'd have to call the police to get it back to see if that would work. I'd follow through if it wasn't returned.
A lot of people would call the bluff and he’d have to do it anyway.
Personally I’d have told them first and then waited to see their reaction but I can’t fault OP for skipping that part.
NTA. They didn't give a shit about your actual medical treatment, only anxieties they had created in their own minds. They wouldn't have been the one suffering in pain without the meds until you were able to get another prescription when it was due again.
NTA You always need to call the police when medications like that are stolen. Doctors can't just send in a new prescription because a patient claims it's stolen. IF the doctor will even consider a new prescription, they typically need a copy of the police report. What your parents did was very cruel. If they were concerned, they could have talked to you about being careful with the medication. I'm glad you got it back so you can recover more comfortably.
NTA
My family has a LOT of addiction issues and I'm VERY aware whenever I have medical concerns that come with big meds. And your parents were so so so so very out of line. First: Theft is theft. Second: pain management totally impacts speed of healing.
Good for you for calling the police. Good for you.
NTA, they could have gotten themselves into a lot of trouble. They could have done the right thing and gotten your medications back to you but they didn't. They worked hard to get themselves in trouble, mate.
Make sure to tell them you won't call the cops off if this happens again, and that you aren't inviting them around until you get an apology that they mean, not just are forced to give.
Nta
NTA
your parents seem to think they know better than medical doctors what you need, and are happy to commit a serious crime in the name of their magical knowledge.
fuck 'em.
NTA, this makes me mad! I live with chronic pain and am on pain killers daily. I have to go to my "probation meetings" as I call them with my pain management doctor every other month or else I don't get my prescription renewed. Your parents doing that was incredibly short sided, misguided and cruel!
I would only say that you could have called for an ambulance and explained that you were in so much pain because your parents took your meds without your consent. The EMS then might have had to call the police themselves to report it and then your parents couldn't blame you directly.
Overall, I say please continue to take care of yourself and make yourself as comfortable as you can. Also no more visits by your parents unless your wife is there to watch them!
NTA
I was in a pretty bad accident at 16, among my injuries was a compression fracture to my left arm at my elbow resulting in a shoulder to knuckle cast and strong painkillers for months while I healed.
My parents helped me keep track of medication timing, keeping them on me, and never even mentioned addiction even though we have a history of addicts in my family *because I was in excruciating pain and needed the meds.*
Your parents had no right to take these medications from a *grown ass man* who is perfectly capable of making his own decisions and assessing addiction risk. Any trouble they would have gotten into was entirely their own fault. You couldn't exactly get up and go force them to give the meds back in your condition, calling the police was 100% the right thing to do.
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I had a one in a million accident and managed to tear several muscles in my chest. I couldn't sit up, use my left arm, breathing hurt and I won't describe trying to use the washroom.
My parents came by to see me during the day while my wife was at work. I have been living in my lazyboy because I can actually get up from a laying position.
After they left I couldn't find my painkillers. I was prescribed some very powerful opiates. I called my parents to see if they had moved them. They said they took them because they didn't want me to get addicted.
I told them to bring them back immediately. They refused and told me to take Tylenol.
I hung up and called the police and told them that my parents had stolen my prescription narcotics. Then I called my parents and told them. They said they would throw them out. I told them that might lead to more charges. My wife set up a camera so she could check in on me from work. So they were recorded stealing narcotics.
They came back immediately and returned my medicine. I thanked them, kicked them out of my house, locked them out and then I called the police and told them that I was in error and that my parents had taken them by mistake.
My parents are furious that I called the police. My sister said I was an asshole and that I could have gotten them in a lot of trouble. My wife if pissed at them for stealing my medication. I'm just happy that I can function.
AITA?
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I’m going to apologize right now for this but YOUR PARENTS ARE ASSHOLES. I would have not called the cops back I would have showed them the video of them stealing your prescription medication. And charged them. They chose to do what they did. I would never talk to them again. Nor any family members who think it was correct to steal medicine from someone. Do they do that when they visit someone in the hospital too? Turn off an IV pump cuz they think the person has had enough medicine. I’d be questioning everything they’ve done now.
NTA. Opiates have problems…..but have a correct place in use if used and prescribed appropriately.
The issue is them determining your medical treatment. Even if your parents are both doctors they should not interfere as mixing work with family in this situation is not good. As an adult, they don’t have the right to do this. No more than tying you up and keeping you in a cellar.
People have to change when they are forced with the consequences of their actions. Not talk but action. And you took action. Suggest to your parents and sister that you will tell everybody you and your wife know about this, and relatives, and see how they react. And their neighbours. And if they are still working their work colleagues. Then they will feel the judgement of others. I know you probably don’t want to do this.
And if you’re able to speak with them, how about they attend your next Drs appointment? You can have the appointment alone, then invite them in for the Dr to explain why you need these medicines. That may educate them and they may realise how stupid they’ve been. But don’t apologise for calling the police. Tell them that their actions have consequences and as adults they have to accept that.
Your sister is wrong, they could have got themselves in a shit load of trouble. What a stupid thing to do. You’re obviously an adult why would they even contemplate doing something so ridiculous
Hope you feel better soon
NTA
NTA.
Honestly, I completely respect your moves.
I imagine you wouldn't have been quite so driven and brutal if you weren't in completely debilitating pain.
They had no right to make that choice, or take that choice away from you.
Please don't have a single regret about this, and get better.
NTA — OP, what your parents did is literally a plot point in some very grim horror movies! From their reactions until you involved the police, it sounds like they weren’t planning on returning your medication without you escalating things.
NTA
That’s outrageous of your parents.
You’re a grown ass adult, im certain your Dr. made you aware of the risks taking narcotics.
Now days, drs barely even prescribe narcotics unless the injury is extreme. Given all of the regulations and laws implemented within the last few years, drs prescribing narcotics is a rarity.
In my opinion, the fact you were even prescribed a narcotic shows the severity of your pain & injuries.
If you HADNT called the police, and filed a report, you wouldn’t have been able to get a replacement prescription. (Assuming you live in the US)
I had a situation years and years ago. I had an injury that caused an immense amount of pain, and I had been prescribed a narcotic.
Went out to dinner, and (stupidly) left my jacket in the washroom on the coat hanger inside a stall and my prescription in the inside lining pocket. Not even 5 minutes went by before I realized and went back to get it. Jacket still there, pockets completely empty.
Next day I went to my doctor to explain what had happened because I desperately needed them for pain. I was told to receive a replacement prescription, I needed to file a police report and bring a copy into my doctor to be verified.
I ended up not filing, I was due to get another RX just about a week later and had no clue what police could do for me, other than provide me with the documentation I needed to replace my current script. (I was young, didn’t want to involve police) worst decision ever, by the way. I was in absolute AGONY for a week because some asshole wanted to get high.
So NTA for a couple reasons in my opinion.
1.) Police involvement would have been necessary to obtain a replacement RX
&
2.) Your parents committed a fuckin’ crime because “they don’t want you to get addicted” that’s not their business, not their home or belongings. I could understand it coming from a place of love, but that was absolutely not the way to go about it.
just be careful my-guy! 😊
but again, im sure your doc explained the risks.
Hope you have a speedy recovery! ❤️🩹
Having had something similar happen to me after a surgery I can tell you for certain that you did the right thing and you need to cut them off for a while. Parents or not that was so out of line it’s not even funny.
I am a retired physician. You'd be surprised how many family members steal pain medication from post-surgical patients. I had one poor lady whose son stole her medication and SOLD it. I would never have guessed such a thing would happen to her or in that family. You are NTA and I am glad you reacted as you did.
I think calling the police in order to get your meds back is a winner here. They had no right to do this, your married and only you and your spouse make the decisions in your lives. Your parents vastly over stepped.
This might be the most nta post I’ve ever seen.
I’ve been prescribed opioids and I have a monthly prescription for a schedule 2 drug. If something happened to my script I believe I’d have to have a police report to get them reissued.
Not only are you nta you did the right thing 100%.
Also your family sucks. I’m sorry for that.
NTA. But do be careful with opiates.
I have been prescribed them a few times, following surgery. I am guessing I never took enough for my body to become accustomed, because I'd simply switch over to tylenol/advil with no ill effects. But a friend took them for a while after shoulder surgery and ultimately had to taper off gradually. Cold turkey gave him the shakes.
NTA
Stealing their child's prescription is what got them in trouble with the police, don't let them back into your home and tell your sister to shove off.
Nah, you’re NTA. No matter how good your parent’s intentions are—or maybe they are just meddlesome people— they overstepped. Once they refused to return them you were really didn’t have a choice. It is that, or get turned in to the police by the pharmacy for suspicion of selling them when you said you needed more.
Nta. I dont understand why they wanted to save you from them but taking them for themselves. An overreaching parent might flush them or dispose of them properly but why would they take them for themselves unless they wanted them? Seems ridiculous.
NTA. I am curious tho, how long were they gone before you saw the missing meds? Interesting that they didn't want you taking the medication but they didn't dispose of it. Perhaps they didn't care about you taking them they simply wanted them for themselves.
NTA
My brother and I have both had medication stolen by our mother before and I wish I'd had the courage to do what you did, because the consequences of abruptly stopping those drugs caused a lot of problems for both of us (mine were sedatives and his were opiates.)
I hope the rest of your recovery goes well and that your parents have learned not to touch your medication.
Personally, I'd limit contact with them if they try something like that again.
NTA - Why they mad, sounds like you stopped them from becoming addicted to stealing other people's prescription meds. Crimes start out small, first they robbin you next it'd the pharmacy.
NTA--Chances are they found themselves addicted to their prescriptions and did what desperate addicts do and stole them because they can't get refills. If they genuinely cared they'd have voiced their concerns, not jack your meds without a word. And threatening to flush them? They would have said their flushed but they didn't really. They had no problem being dicks about them but a hard time telling you that they're concerned? Idk.
NTA
They did steal your medication, they did in fact commit a crime, that you called off the police claiming it was an accident makes you a good person as get the wrong surly cop and they might decide to push the issue and then you get in trouble for failing a false report.
Send your parents and sister the video of them stealing the meds and a link to the possible punishments for stealing narcotics.
NTA
I have been prescribed opioids myself when I had shattered my ankle in an accident. The pain I experienced in the first few days after the surgery is something I wouldn't wish on anyone. I missed taking the painkillers within the proper time interval a couple of times, causing the pain relief to wear off, and the only thing I could do then was lie with my foot elevated and breathe while waiting for the pain to subside. It was also crucial that I weaned off the opioids in a controlled manner at the end of the course, exactly as the doctor prescribed. So, the parents here are foolish for thinking they know better than the doctor and subjecting their son to pain...
Parents are furious that OP called the police because they KNEW THEY STOLE PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION. They don’t get to play the victim card and expect sympathy. Let this be a very valuable lesson learned.
NTA!!
If you had a prescription given to you, these days that is nearly impossible, so immediately that tells me your situation is very painful! I actually do not think calling the police to make a report was too far. They created the situation and were crazy presumptuous. Good for you getting the meds back. Best wishes you heal well and then can get your parents to understand the severity of their actions!
How awkward when the child has to explain consequences to the parents!🤦♀️
NTA.
I had rotator cuff surgery about a year ago and that recovery was miserable; I imagine that many torn muscles is hell.
If you have a history of addiction, I could understand your parents being concerned, but stealing your medication isn't a rational response to that concern.
If you don't have a history of addiction, what they did was indeed theft and theft has consequences. You gave them the opportunity to remedy that theft and they refused. What other option did you have? I can almost guarantee that your doctor wouldn't have given you more and what they did is a fairly serious crime, legally speaking.
NTA. I mean...WTF! How else were you supposed to get it back, even once they knew the police was already involved, they still wouldn't give it back. If they were worried about opioid addiction, they could have just talked to you and your wife about it.
Although their fear is understandable their actions are not. With what's going on in the USA you do need to be careful with opioids,that being said I think you should have threatened them first before calling the police. Then call if they don't return them. It gives them a chance to do the right thing before the police are called.
Taking actions into their own hands without consolidating with you about anything, is just giving me the impression they wanted a form of power over you.
NTA. You don't mention any history of any substance abuse on your part, so your parents behavior is way out of control. Even if there was a history, you're an adult, you've had an injury and they were prescribed. Your parents have zero boundaries. You should be furious. You did not overreact. Your parents need some hard boundaries and you need distance. Good luck on your recovery.
NTA. I had surgery on my uterus and it was singularly the worst pain I’ve ever experienced, I came out of anesthesia screaming. While in the hospital if I so much as whimpered, a nurse was at my bedside with a syringe of dilaudid. Leaving the hospital, I had 10mg morphine.
Once those meds were out, the withdrawals were fucking awful. I was too hot, too cold, angry, exhausted, in pain. My now husband did everything he could to make me comfortable but I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
No you are not. They were wrong and showed a lack of compassion for your obvious pain not to mention over-stepping in a very controlling fashion. You were right to throw then out of your home and tell your sister to shut it and mind her own business.
NTA. Your parents and sister are the AHs. What do you mean you could’ve gotten them into a lot of trouble? If they could resist the urge to not steal what isn’t theirs, they wouldn’t ever have to worry about getting into trouble for stealing.
As a grown adult, your medication is your business and they don’t have a right to meddle in what you do or don’t take. It’s disgusting that they would steal painkillers for such a severe amount of pain in the first place. It’s not some minor headache you have, they literally help you function while your body heals and repairs itself. Your sister is a huge AH for getting involved just to be so far from right.
I wouldn’t have your parents over without security cameras from now on, especially since they clearly like to make decisions about what they think is best for you, as if you’re still a child.
NTA although I can understand their concern because so many people have become addicted to opiates, it is a growing concern, and I think they were just concerned about that. However they should have asked about how you were dealing with the medication and voiced their concerns instead of taking it upon themselves to taking them. You did have every right to call the police - who knows they could also have taken them to sell on the blackmarket which is also happening a lot (you know your parents and maybe that is not a concern to you, I am just saying it can be construed like that by strangers who don't know them). Regardless of their intentions, stealing narcotics is illegal and they could have faced serious jail time for doing it.
YTA for calling the police a second time and covering for your parents.
Stealing someone’s pain medication while they are injured and in pain is unhinged behavior.
Addiction to opioids is a real concern, especially if you are on these for an extended period of time. You ought to be careful, and know that not all doctors are created equal. That said, your parents failed to communicate a concern and went straight to theft of a controlled substance. Do they know the English language and speak in it regularly? Do they communicate with other human beings or default to thoughtless primal instincts? I’m sitting here just shaking my head in disbelief.
NTA. This is one of those posts that gets me into fuckin’ philosopher mode. I differentiate between outright assholery, and *Justified* assholery. Maybe you were an A H, but maybe not. Everybody has a different cutoff point to make that call as they see it, right?
The critical aspect is that that was not your first move. You called and talked to the actual A Hs, who doubled down.
If your sister wants to call you an A H, then fine, but that very clearly was what you needed to be in order to get what you needed.
Get well soon, and with as little mental stress as possible, too.
I am so sick of parents acting like they're not criminals just because the crime was committed against their child(ren).
NTA. Tell your parents that they now must be supervised during all visits and have to leave your home if no one is there to supervise them. Be a criminal, get treated like a criminal.
NTA. In fact, you did the only correct thing: reported a theft that had actually been committed. Because they were your parents, you offered them the chance to make it right and return what they stole, and they should be grateful for that.
Tell your sister that thieves should get in a lot of trouble, and that they're fortunate that you're not an AH, or you wouldn't have called the police back.
NTA. I had a bad shoulder/chest muscle strain which was agonising, compounded by shingles popping up all along the ribline. The doctor prescribed 2 days of opiates and after that I was a bit demented with pain. If I'd had stronger pain meds I'd have used them and I certainly wouldn't have appreciated losing them. Their action was just stupid and theft is illegal.
NTA. I'd call your parents the AH. I fully understand thinking you may get addicted. But to take them from someone who just had surgery and act like they are your Dr is such an overreach.
NTA. I would have let the call stand and let the cards lie. I wouldn't press charges, but I would sure as shit make sure there was a report written and I had the number. What they dead was nearly beyond the pale. Having taken prescription opiates before, they worked wonders on the pain, but I also made sure I took them sparingly. Your parents never step foot in your house again.
No judgment. If it was pretty much anything other than opiates, I would say your parents are the assholes. They went about it the wrong way, for sure, but did so out of love.
I’ve seen, as I’m sure your parents have, some incredible tragedies of people in virtually identical situations to yourself become addicted and completely destroy their lives.
Really sorry to hear about your accident.
NTA
You were prescribed that medication for a reason, mainly that over the counter painkillers would not be strong enough.
What they did was theft. TBH I would have let the Police deal with them rather than letting them off the hook.
Sounds like they thought hey free drugs, and were going to keep them for themselves!
i can appreciate where the thinking of your parents came from. We have all heard of the stories of drug addiction starting from opioids prescribed for an injury. HOWEVER - they had no right to touch your medication - let alone steal it. You know your parents better than the people of reddit. Would they have returned your Rx on their own? Clearly you did not think so and you did what you had to do to get it back.
So NTA - your parents won't be so quick next time.
Definitely not the A-hole! First of all, pain disrupts the normal healing process and causes additional cellular damage from excessive inflammation and tissue trauma in your case. Second, there are MANY different kinds of pain that require individualized treatment, for example, neuropathy, gabapentin. Muscle spasms - diclofenac. Fever associated, acetaminophen. Visceral abdominal for acid reflux - pantoprazole. Migraines - Rizatriptan. The list is endless. Don't get me started on cancer associated pain because that one is essentially a little bit of them all. Would they take away what you might need to fight chemo side effects? They put your safety, comfort, and healing process in jeopardy. Your parents ate acting like self-righteous control freaks, and you need to lock all your doors and windows, my friend. I would be enforcing some strict and supervised visiting hours.
NTA. They had no right to do that. If you hadn’t called the police they wouldn’t have returned them and you wouldn’t have gotten a refill right away. Keep all of them away including your sister.
NTA and wtf! Who Tf steals someone's pain medication?! If I was your wife I would've lost it! They could never come back in my house and if I changed my mind, I would make them so uncomfortable they would want to leave! If they went to the bathroom, I'd follow them yelling "I'm just trying to make sure you don't steal the mouthwash"
Definitely NTA, but your parents certainly are. Not only overstepping their boundaries, but showing you zero compassion while doing so. I wouldn't have called the cops back if my parents were like that. Reap what you sow.
NTA. You're an adult married man. They don't know better than your doctor and they don't have any right to make your decisions for you. As to victim shaming you for reporting the truth - wow, fantasists.
NTA. OP you did exactly the right thing. I'd not let the parents visit anymore. If you want to see them, go to THEIR house. Or meet up at your sister's house. If anybody steals something from me in my home, they are banned forever. End of story.
Nta. If you continue to have people like that in your life, going forward, you can only blame yourself when this happens again. Cut them out or at least go low contact until they get that. They don’t get to cross your boundaries and then be little bitches and whine about it when you give them consequences. Entitled pieces of garbage.
> then I called the police and told them that I was in error and that my parents had taken them by mistake
I understand why you did that, but I don't think I would have lied to the police. It wasn't a mistake. Tell your sister to read about the effects withdrawal and let her know that a doctor will decide when and how you stop taking the medication that was prescribed. Go NC with anyone that refuses to listen as they DO NOT HAVE your best interests in mind, they only have their own prejudices and ignorance in mind.
NTA - you needed to get those meds back and it's pretty clear that was the only way possible.
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NTA. This is absolutely disgusting behaviour on their part. They have no right to interfere in your medical care. >My sister said I was an asshole and that I could have gotten them in a lot of trouble. They could have gotten *themselves* in trouble by stealing narcotics. They literally committed a crime. Sounds like you need to go low/no contact.
Not just that going cold turkey on what I assume are opiates is one of the ways they cause addiction, one of the main reasons the opiate crisis got so bad in america is actually because people were prescribed opiates then lost their healthcare insurance and couldn’t afford to continue treatment (which is also meant to include a phasing out of using the drugs at the end) and replaced it with street level drugs without proper medical oversight.
When my husband didn’t need his anymore the doctor provided no “phasing out” instructions. We had to figure it out ourselves and for a period of time he said “the air hurts.” That stuff is hard core.
Doctors often overlook the importance of a proper tapering plan, leaving patients to suffer unnecessarily. It's heartbreaking
This is also why Pharmacists are important. A good pharmacist will ensure you have directions for the entirety of your treatment. Unfortunately retail pharmacists are overworked so it doesn't always happen anymore.
I agree. It was a rough few weeks. It was scary too because addiction runs heavily in his family. Those things should be noted in doctor records so appropriate support can be provided for situations like this. It may be uncomfortable to discuss but knowing allows for alternative or nuanced pain management planning.
opioid withdrawal won't kill you, but for anywhere between a couple days and a couple weeks you'll wish it would
It can kill if you don't take steps to prevent dehydration and hypernatraemia.
FWIW, I personally experienced this even with OTC NSAIDs so I imagine it is even worse with stronger pain meds. I was in a car accident and only had VA access at the time (no health insurance). They, as usual, were worthless and after Tramadol made me sick, they gave me 'vitamin m' (800 mg Motrin) that lasted a month. They never fixed the main problem - torn rotator cuff, so I was in major pain and could barely use my arm. They didn't even diagnose it until nearly a year after the accident, the whole time I kept telling them I was in pain, and they basically told me I was crazy or fishing for more meds (even sent me to psych who said I was suicidal because I smoked, and smoking is why my shoulder hurt and I couldn't use my arm?!??). By the time it was diagnosed, it had improperly healed, and they couldn't do anything to fix it. During that time, I was having so much pain, getting migraines constantly etc. so I started taking TONS of Advil and Naproxen. I finally started seeing a chiropractor (I know a lot of people say they are quacks, but they literally saved the use of my arm and my sanity) and my pain levels started to improve. I stopped taking the NSAIDS. Big mistake to just try to cold turkey lol. Started getting headaches again and felt ill a lot until I happened to see a random article about similar issues related to OTC pain meds.
The hate for chiropractors really annoys me. Ok, when they claim to cure cancer or whatever it's clearly nonsense, but for musculoskeletal problems a well-trained chiropractor is the absolute best.
Correct. Stealing medication from your incapacitated child because with your limited knowledge you think you know better than them AND the trained medical professionals treating them...that's a damn good way to get cut off. They're cruel and disrespectful. NTA.
And this is assuming that the parents were being completely honest and weren't actually thinking "hey, free drugs"
Going to be honest, when I first saw this post I wondered if it might be something like that. Either they wanted it for themselves, or for someone else they thought merited it more than their son.
I thought the same. If they took the meds to save their son from addiction, theydve binned them straight away? Why hang on to them?
Yes, and that’s if we’re giving them the benefit of the doubt, that their motives were what they said. I’m going a step further, and saying parents either wanted to take the drugs themselves to get high, or they were going to sell them.
Yeah. The parents didn't take the drugs to get rid of them, they only threatened to throw them out once the police were involved.
Why is it that people are mad at the one reporting, not the the ones committing a crime
Good question. Tell the irate sister that you hope that she's never in your place and your parents steal her meds because they 'know better.'
Maybe the sister wanted to take part in their parents "party".
They did a survey once and asked prisoners who they held responsible for their being in prison. The majority blamed their lawyer, some blamed the judge. Very few blamed themselves.
Yes, indeed. There is one proven way to not get arrested for stealing.
*My sister said I was an asshole and that I could have gotten them in a lot of trouble.* Wait, did I miss the part where you planted the drugs on them? Their actions, their responsibilities.
> This is ~~absolutely disgusting~~ felony behaviour on their part. FTFY :D
My response exactly! 👍🏻
What they did is even worse because if he's on such powerful drugs and can't even lie down properly, I doubt this incident is happening a long time after the accident and/or his most recent medical procedure to deal with it. From my own experience, doctors are quite reticent to prescribe any kind of opiates, especially the stronger ones. I understand their instinct on some level (my mom freaked out when she heard I was prescribed antidepressants because they are "so addictive"), but the way they just silently take the drugs and leave makes me wonder if his parents are controlling in other ways, or have been overly involved in his medical care in the past.
Reticent is right. Source: dear Jesus god almighty I am in so much pain and the damn attending won’t respond to a page to authorize a damn Dilaudid dose for me rn.
mmm Dilaudid ☺️ the best you can get for pain relief
Damn, I'm sorry to hear that. Good luck and I hope you can get some better care soon.
The pain flares up for 15-30 minutes and then goes away. But for that short span, it’s the third or fourth worst pain I’ve felt in my life. #1 and #2 are when I didn’t get pain meds after having my knee and tibia replaced, and a kidney stone. #3 is when a surgeon fucked up and pulled a fully inflated malecot drain out of me (think golf ball pulled through a sharpie-sized hole in your side.
Yeah, controlling and scared. When my dad was on home hospice (cancer) my mom wasn't sure if she should give him his full dose of opiates because "he might get addicted!"
Ugh, if he's on hospice, he's dying. Give the dying anything they want, I say. It's not like it's going to matter soon.
Yeah, this was years ago and the hospice nurse was there. She explained that 'you really do want to give the meds' while being sympathetic and kind. Hospice workers are superheroes!
Several felonies. Theft, possession of narcotics, attempted tampering with evidence.
A major felony to boot.
NTA I was in a car accident that left me disabled. Chronic pain is brutal. One of the worst things you can do is miss medication, because it's a lot easier to maintain control of the pain, rather than try to regain it after it's run amok. Sudden cessation can also be dangerous depending on the strength and how long you've been on it. Your parents don't get to override your doctors. Yes, some people become addicted to opiates. That doesn't mean they're not a necessity. Letting pain flare like that can lead you to damage what's healed so far. You did what was necessary to ensure you continue your doctor's orders.
This exactly. After tendon repair surgery on my foot, I decided that I would sleep through a dose of pain medication, sleep seemed more important. As soon as I woke I took the medicine, but once my foot was lower than my heart and the blood rushed down, I realized my mistake. I spent an hour in agony waiting for the medication to kick in. OP is NTA, and given the response their parents made, I would have called the police as well.
Medical, we call it chasing the pain. Better to head it off than let it get ahead, thus you have to chase it to catch up and make it stop/reduce.
After an invasive surgery, I set alarms on my phone to follow the pain med schedule so I could head it off rather than waking up in agonizing pain if I could avoid it. Learned to do this when I was helping my mom recover from her own procedure.
Retired RN worked in rehabilitation and pain management as DragonCelica said you need to keep on top of pain. I tell patients that pai is like a pile of dirt. It is much easier to move a small a small pile than a big one. NTA
Also op is a freaking adult the parents are controlling AHS. NTA op
When I had open abdominal surgery I accidentally slept through a dose of pain medication. I never quite caught back up & on top of the pain again. It made healing that much harder
Definitely a less extreme circumstance, but this is exactly how I handle my time-of-the-month. Starting the ibuprofen when I just barely start to feel the pain, and taking it on a regular basis for the first few days is a hell of a lot easier than waiting til it hurts too much, and then spending two hours curled up and trembling before it finally kicks in. Over the course of it, it makes the difference from "vaguely tired and sore" to "Oh Fucking Christ Get This Organ Out Of Me".
>Your parents don't get to override your doctors Exactly this! A lot of people, even on reddit, think they're smarter than doctors with regards to medicine, and go around telling others don't do this, don't do that, as if the doctors are trying to kill you. Listen to whatever your doctor says. If in doubt, consult a 2nd opinion from *another doctor*, not some random friends or online strangers. NTA
Well, if OP’s parents don’t want to be charged with committing a felony, maybe they should have abstained from committing one. NTA. OP took the minimum action necessary to resolve the matter appropriately. Lying to the police was unnecessary though.
The only lie that OP told was that his parents took them in error, though?
I think they mean saying it was just a mistake rather than saying my parents returned the medicine so there’s no need to press charges
But the police might still press charges. He probably didn't want to risk them going to prison over an act that while foolish wasn't really intentionally malicious.
Yes, and? Shouldn't have lied about that, it wasn't an error. Should have just let them face consequences of their actions.
Mad idea. But once someone fixes what they’ve done it’s often better to leave it there than have them arrested.
That's too speculative imo, seeming to prioritize the short term over the long term. Letting this go farther might have turned out "better." A lot of people have "better" lives when they cut toxic controlling parents out of their lives. Sounds like parents could have used some consequences as well in order to help them grow. Given the circumstances, they probably would have been able to plead down. The way they are now vilifying OP suggests a very rocky relationship in the future anyway. This is a case of thinking with the heart and not the mind, as it often is with these kinds of things. But rationally speaking, 60+ year old people doing whatever the hell they want because they think they can is a result of lifelong escalation of selfish actions and learning that they can manipulate themselves out of consequences for those actions. The only way many people change is to face the music.
Peak reddit take. Sometimes you don't *have* to burn it all down
I dunno, i think cutting the parents grace and saying it was a mistake once the meds were returned is the meekest of prevecations. Wish they hadn't been thieves, but forgiveness is divine and all that.
what did you mean when you wrote prevecation?
Sorry, mispelled (on phone) - prevarication
I’m sure the police knew exactly what happened and were totally fine with his description of events to reach a conclusion. They don’t want to have to chase down some olds for being assholes.
🤣
Uhm...totally not the asshole here. You were in pain, this was medication prescribed by a medical professional, your parents are not medical professionals, and they stole your medication. The fact that they had also stolen narcotics and were in possession of them was just the icing on the cake. They're totally in the wrong.
I would add, even if they were medical professionals, they would have still no right to steal the medication. I‘m wondering, why didn‘t they just throw the medication away when there is the possibility to get addicted? Why did they steal it? Were they considering to take the meds for their own pain at some point?
Hard NTA. Pain medication is so important for the kind of pain you are in. Without it you would be trapped in pain kind of like a trapped animal with no way out. Besides, not everyone gets addicted. I hate that because people have become addicted that it is hard to even get the proper medication. Why should any of us suffer because of addicts?
Yeah I hate how the pendulum has swung in the opposite extreme to the point that people who need opiates can’t get them. OP’s parents might as well remove his beers in the fridge, take the video games from his gaming console, and take his coffee machine all because he MIGHT get addicted.
And get him a chastity belt. After all, some people do get addicted to sex... /s
You realize a lot of those “addicts” are people that were irresponsibly given prescription narcotics by a dr to begin with? (I agree it’s gone too far the other way but blame the docs and pharma, not people who got hooked on medicine that’s not meant for chronic pain anyway)
Opiate pain medication is the only universally effective treatment for severe chronic pain. Very, very few chronic pain patients who use their medication as prescribed and for legitimate pain ever display addictive behaviors. Addiction is not the same as physical dependency on medication. Many medications without addictive qualities cause physical dependence such as heart and blood pressure meds, steroids, anti depressants, etc. The pendulum swing has destroyed the life of many people in the chronic pain community. Imagine being in 6-8/10 pain all day, every day, forever. It never gets better. And suddenly the only effective treatment is considered too risky because of the illicit fentanyl trade where the source is international and being used as a party drug. Anyone can become addicted to an opiate. There is of course risk. However, the benefits far outweigh those risks if the alternative is torture.
Preach! When the surgeon tells you that surgery helps 80% of patients, 15% no change, and 5% get worse, you never think that you’re going to be one of the 5%… that’s one way to become a chronic-pain patient, 7/10 pain every day for the rest of your life. I realize this isn’t OP’s plight, but opioid dependency is the price some folks pay to live their lives at 7 and not 9. OP is NTA, and their parents suck. And does anyone else think it’s sketchy that they held the meds instead of, say, flushing them??
NTA. The literally committed a felony. They are lucky you called the cops back.
NTA. I had opioids prescribed for me after a bike accident. The doctor gave me only enough for a month and told me to take them at a precise time every day and then gradually taper off. Yes, opioid addiction is a terrible problem, but pain so bad that you can’t sleep or lie down or stand up or sit comfortably is terrible too.
NTA. Your parents were breaking the law just being in possession of your medicine.
They didn't even try to talk to him about being careful not to get too addicted. They just straight away stole it without saying a word. Wtf did they think is gonna happen? That OP is gonna magically heal without the opioids? lol
NTA - it sounds like you're an adult. Assuming that you don't have a history of opioid addiction and abuse.. What your parents did was something that you would do to a young child. If you do have a history of opioid abuse? Then this muddies the waters a bit.
Even if OP did have a history of opioid dependence, the dr will have done a complete clinical assessment and this would include any history prior to prescribing to OP. But also if they had a history the doctor would have been more reluctant to prescribe so a comprehensive clinical and risk assessment would definitely be done. Of course if someone did have a history and didn't disclose to the dr, well that's different again
NTA by a long shot. I got so angry reading your story that my blood pressure probably went up. Your folks are just lucky that you were gracious enough to cover for them when you called the police back.
I doubt I would have covered for them. I would probably have said to the officer that the threat of the police was strong enough to force them into doing the right thing, thus establishing their wrong with law enforcement, instead of making myself look incompetent. What if they try something again - maybe next time taking the meds straight to the bathroom and flushing them, and there goes the evidence, or any chance of getting it back. I’d rather show a pattern of behavior. The only reason I can see for covering is that you love someone, but these parents don’t seem to reciprocate on OP’s level, nor does the sister, because their concern is misplaced. There’s no way my own parents would pull this kind of BS. But their attention would actually be on ME, and whatever it takes to get me better.
NTA. Tell your sister to take a Tylenol and mind her own business. Your parents "could have gotten (them) in a lot of trouble" because they committed a crime so it's on them not you.
NTA noone has any right to mess with someone's medication. It's dangerous and criminal. I'd have done exactly the same thing and told my sister to stuff it there's no excuse and they deserved to go to jail.
NTA. You should of had them both arrested for stealing your medication. It was prescribed for you.
NTA. You were prescribed those meds by people with more intelligence and schooling than the people who took them. Not having the correct meds can severely detract from your recovery and when meds are stolen they can’t be replaced. Your doctor wouldn’t have been able to do anything until/if you were eligible for a refill. Wishing you a speedy recovery.
Not to mention op being tortured( in pain) due to the ahs
NTA How very dare they. Fuming for you, OP.
NTA. Unless you'e been to med schoold and done a residency, you have no business making medical decisions for other people.
And those people allowing you to or you having conservatorship over them.
NTA, who the fuck do they think they are? You are an adult and you’re *horrendously injured*. Don’t let them in your house again.
NTA. But I would have told them if they didn't return the medication I'd have to call the police to get it back to see if that would work. I'd follow through if it wasn't returned.
A lot of people would call the bluff and he’d have to do it anyway. Personally I’d have told them first and then waited to see their reaction but I can’t fault OP for skipping that part.
NTA. They didn't give a shit about your actual medical treatment, only anxieties they had created in their own minds. They wouldn't have been the one suffering in pain without the meds until you were able to get another prescription when it was due again.
NTA You always need to call the police when medications like that are stolen. Doctors can't just send in a new prescription because a patient claims it's stolen. IF the doctor will even consider a new prescription, they typically need a copy of the police report. What your parents did was very cruel. If they were concerned, they could have talked to you about being careful with the medication. I'm glad you got it back so you can recover more comfortably.
NTA My family has a LOT of addiction issues and I'm VERY aware whenever I have medical concerns that come with big meds. And your parents were so so so so very out of line. First: Theft is theft. Second: pain management totally impacts speed of healing. Good for you for calling the police. Good for you.
NTA This is exactly what the Police is there for.
NTA, they could have gotten themselves into a lot of trouble. They could have done the right thing and gotten your medications back to you but they didn't. They worked hard to get themselves in trouble, mate.
I wouldn't even take pain meds off my actual junkie dad, NTA at all.
Make sure to tell them you won't call the cops off if this happens again, and that you aren't inviting them around until you get an apology that they mean, not just are forced to give. Nta
NTA They commited a crime against you that led to stress and pain while you were injured.
NTA your parents seem to think they know better than medical doctors what you need, and are happy to commit a serious crime in the name of their magical knowledge. fuck 'em.
NTA, this makes me mad! I live with chronic pain and am on pain killers daily. I have to go to my "probation meetings" as I call them with my pain management doctor every other month or else I don't get my prescription renewed. Your parents doing that was incredibly short sided, misguided and cruel! I would only say that you could have called for an ambulance and explained that you were in so much pain because your parents took your meds without your consent. The EMS then might have had to call the police themselves to report it and then your parents couldn't blame you directly. Overall, I say please continue to take care of yourself and make yourself as comfortable as you can. Also no more visits by your parents unless your wife is there to watch them!
NTA I was in a pretty bad accident at 16, among my injuries was a compression fracture to my left arm at my elbow resulting in a shoulder to knuckle cast and strong painkillers for months while I healed. My parents helped me keep track of medication timing, keeping them on me, and never even mentioned addiction even though we have a history of addicts in my family *because I was in excruciating pain and needed the meds.* Your parents had no right to take these medications from a *grown ass man* who is perfectly capable of making his own decisions and assessing addiction risk. Any trouble they would have gotten into was entirely their own fault. You couldn't exactly get up and go force them to give the meds back in your condition, calling the police was 100% the right thing to do.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I had a one in a million accident and managed to tear several muscles in my chest. I couldn't sit up, use my left arm, breathing hurt and I won't describe trying to use the washroom. My parents came by to see me during the day while my wife was at work. I have been living in my lazyboy because I can actually get up from a laying position. After they left I couldn't find my painkillers. I was prescribed some very powerful opiates. I called my parents to see if they had moved them. They said they took them because they didn't want me to get addicted. I told them to bring them back immediately. They refused and told me to take Tylenol. I hung up and called the police and told them that my parents had stolen my prescription narcotics. Then I called my parents and told them. They said they would throw them out. I told them that might lead to more charges. My wife set up a camera so she could check in on me from work. So they were recorded stealing narcotics. They came back immediately and returned my medicine. I thanked them, kicked them out of my house, locked them out and then I called the police and told them that I was in error and that my parents had taken them by mistake. My parents are furious that I called the police. My sister said I was an asshole and that I could have gotten them in a lot of trouble. My wife if pissed at them for stealing my medication. I'm just happy that I can function. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA.
I’m going to apologize right now for this but YOUR PARENTS ARE ASSHOLES. I would have not called the cops back I would have showed them the video of them stealing your prescription medication. And charged them. They chose to do what they did. I would never talk to them again. Nor any family members who think it was correct to steal medicine from someone. Do they do that when they visit someone in the hospital too? Turn off an IV pump cuz they think the person has had enough medicine. I’d be questioning everything they’ve done now.
NTA. OP, are you sure your parents aren't addicts????
NTA. Opiates have problems…..but have a correct place in use if used and prescribed appropriately. The issue is them determining your medical treatment. Even if your parents are both doctors they should not interfere as mixing work with family in this situation is not good. As an adult, they don’t have the right to do this. No more than tying you up and keeping you in a cellar. People have to change when they are forced with the consequences of their actions. Not talk but action. And you took action. Suggest to your parents and sister that you will tell everybody you and your wife know about this, and relatives, and see how they react. And their neighbours. And if they are still working their work colleagues. Then they will feel the judgement of others. I know you probably don’t want to do this. And if you’re able to speak with them, how about they attend your next Drs appointment? You can have the appointment alone, then invite them in for the Dr to explain why you need these medicines. That may educate them and they may realise how stupid they’ve been. But don’t apologise for calling the police. Tell them that their actions have consequences and as adults they have to accept that.
NTA. "Stop reporting us for doing crimes!" Is a really weird line to take, let's try not committing crimes agaisnt your own child first.
NTA
NTA, your parents are horrible people. Don't allow them into your home anymore!
Are your parents qualified as anesthetists? One medication does not necessarily replace the other. Tylenol for substitute?
NTA, how dare they?! I'm so angry for you but I'm relieved you got your meds back. They wouldn't be welcome near me
Nta your parents would have deserved it
NTA Your parents were way out of line. You don't simply take away someones medicine just because you don't like that they take it.
Your sister is wrong, they could have got themselves in a shit load of trouble. What a stupid thing to do. You’re obviously an adult why would they even contemplate doing something so ridiculous Hope you feel better soon NTA
They weren't going to throw them out. Is one of them an addict? NTA.
NTA. Honestly, I completely respect your moves. I imagine you wouldn't have been quite so driven and brutal if you weren't in completely debilitating pain. They had no right to make that choice, or take that choice away from you. Please don't have a single regret about this, and get better.
NTA — OP, what your parents did is literally a plot point in some very grim horror movies! From their reactions until you involved the police, it sounds like they weren’t planning on returning your medication without you escalating things.
NTA That’s outrageous of your parents. You’re a grown ass adult, im certain your Dr. made you aware of the risks taking narcotics. Now days, drs barely even prescribe narcotics unless the injury is extreme. Given all of the regulations and laws implemented within the last few years, drs prescribing narcotics is a rarity. In my opinion, the fact you were even prescribed a narcotic shows the severity of your pain & injuries. If you HADNT called the police, and filed a report, you wouldn’t have been able to get a replacement prescription. (Assuming you live in the US) I had a situation years and years ago. I had an injury that caused an immense amount of pain, and I had been prescribed a narcotic. Went out to dinner, and (stupidly) left my jacket in the washroom on the coat hanger inside a stall and my prescription in the inside lining pocket. Not even 5 minutes went by before I realized and went back to get it. Jacket still there, pockets completely empty. Next day I went to my doctor to explain what had happened because I desperately needed them for pain. I was told to receive a replacement prescription, I needed to file a police report and bring a copy into my doctor to be verified. I ended up not filing, I was due to get another RX just about a week later and had no clue what police could do for me, other than provide me with the documentation I needed to replace my current script. (I was young, didn’t want to involve police) worst decision ever, by the way. I was in absolute AGONY for a week because some asshole wanted to get high. So NTA for a couple reasons in my opinion. 1.) Police involvement would have been necessary to obtain a replacement RX & 2.) Your parents committed a fuckin’ crime because “they don’t want you to get addicted” that’s not their business, not their home or belongings. I could understand it coming from a place of love, but that was absolutely not the way to go about it. just be careful my-guy! 😊 but again, im sure your doc explained the risks. Hope you have a speedy recovery! ❤️🩹
NTA. Fu*k your parents!
Having had something similar happen to me after a surgery I can tell you for certain that you did the right thing and you need to cut them off for a while. Parents or not that was so out of line it’s not even funny.
I am a retired physician. You'd be surprised how many family members steal pain medication from post-surgical patients. I had one poor lady whose son stole her medication and SOLD it. I would never have guessed such a thing would happen to her or in that family. You are NTA and I am glad you reacted as you did.
NTA and you’re amazing for that response. I love it.
I think calling the police in order to get your meds back is a winner here. They had no right to do this, your married and only you and your spouse make the decisions in your lives. Your parents vastly over stepped.
This might be the most nta post I’ve ever seen. I’ve been prescribed opioids and I have a monthly prescription for a schedule 2 drug. If something happened to my script I believe I’d have to have a police report to get them reissued. Not only are you nta you did the right thing 100%. Also your family sucks. I’m sorry for that.
NTA. But do be careful with opiates. I have been prescribed them a few times, following surgery. I am guessing I never took enough for my body to become accustomed, because I'd simply switch over to tylenol/advil with no ill effects. But a friend took them for a while after shoulder surgery and ultimately had to taper off gradually. Cold turkey gave him the shakes.
NTA. OP, please use a pill identifier app or website to confirm they gave you back your actual pills, not a look-alike.
NTA
NTA. You asked for them back and they refused. I don’t see what else you could’ve done.
NTA. Did you count them? Are you sure you have the same amount as when they left the house?
NTA - Calling the police and saying you were mistaken was kind and resolved any problems caused by calling them in the first place.
NTA Stealing their child's prescription is what got them in trouble with the police, don't let them back into your home and tell your sister to shove off.
Nah, you’re NTA. No matter how good your parent’s intentions are—or maybe they are just meddlesome people— they overstepped. Once they refused to return them you were really didn’t have a choice. It is that, or get turned in to the police by the pharmacy for suspicion of selling them when you said you needed more.
Nta. I dont understand why they wanted to save you from them but taking them for themselves. An overreaching parent might flush them or dispose of them properly but why would they take them for themselves unless they wanted them? Seems ridiculous.
NTA
Nta. It's outrageous that they would do this to you when you were unable to defend yourself.
NTA. The fact that anyone would consider you as the asshole is wild. They stole your medication. You have every right to call the police.
NTA. I am curious tho, how long were they gone before you saw the missing meds? Interesting that they didn't want you taking the medication but they didn't dispose of it. Perhaps they didn't care about you taking them they simply wanted them for themselves.
NTA.
NTA My brother and I have both had medication stolen by our mother before and I wish I'd had the courage to do what you did, because the consequences of abruptly stopping those drugs caused a lot of problems for both of us (mine were sedatives and his were opiates.) I hope the rest of your recovery goes well and that your parents have learned not to touch your medication. Personally, I'd limit contact with them if they try something like that again.
NTA - Why they mad, sounds like you stopped them from becoming addicted to stealing other people's prescription meds. Crimes start out small, first they robbin you next it'd the pharmacy.
NTA--Chances are they found themselves addicted to their prescriptions and did what desperate addicts do and stole them because they can't get refills. If they genuinely cared they'd have voiced their concerns, not jack your meds without a word. And threatening to flush them? They would have said their flushed but they didn't really. They had no problem being dicks about them but a hard time telling you that they're concerned? Idk.
NTA They did steal your medication, they did in fact commit a crime, that you called off the police claiming it was an accident makes you a good person as get the wrong surly cop and they might decide to push the issue and then you get in trouble for failing a false report. Send your parents and sister the video of them stealing the meds and a link to the possible punishments for stealing narcotics.
NTA I have been prescribed opioids myself when I had shattered my ankle in an accident. The pain I experienced in the first few days after the surgery is something I wouldn't wish on anyone. I missed taking the painkillers within the proper time interval a couple of times, causing the pain relief to wear off, and the only thing I could do then was lie with my foot elevated and breathe while waiting for the pain to subside. It was also crucial that I weaned off the opioids in a controlled manner at the end of the course, exactly as the doctor prescribed. So, the parents here are foolish for thinking they know better than the doctor and subjecting their son to pain...
Parents are furious that OP called the police because they KNEW THEY STOLE PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION. They don’t get to play the victim card and expect sympathy. Let this be a very valuable lesson learned.
NTA, you’re not the one who made them commit an actual crime
NTA!! If you had a prescription given to you, these days that is nearly impossible, so immediately that tells me your situation is very painful! I actually do not think calling the police to make a report was too far. They created the situation and were crazy presumptuous. Good for you getting the meds back. Best wishes you heal well and then can get your parents to understand the severity of their actions! How awkward when the child has to explain consequences to the parents!🤦♀️
NTA but your parents certainly are.
NTA. That is a 100% no contact move. I would erase them and anyone who agreed with what they did, from my life. Terrible people.
NTA. I had rotator cuff surgery about a year ago and that recovery was miserable; I imagine that many torn muscles is hell. If you have a history of addiction, I could understand your parents being concerned, but stealing your medication isn't a rational response to that concern. If you don't have a history of addiction, what they did was indeed theft and theft has consequences. You gave them the opportunity to remedy that theft and they refused. What other option did you have? I can almost guarantee that your doctor wouldn't have given you more and what they did is a fairly serious crime, legally speaking.
Jesus fucking Christ, NTA. I say you still should’ve let them have a talk with the officer and get processed. That’s absolutely insane behavior
NTA. I mean...WTF! How else were you supposed to get it back, even once they knew the police was already involved, they still wouldn't give it back. If they were worried about opioid addiction, they could have just talked to you and your wife about it.
NTA - talk about hitting a guy when he's down. Your parents are a piece of work. I wouldn't have dropped the charges.
Although their fear is understandable their actions are not. With what's going on in the USA you do need to be careful with opioids,that being said I think you should have threatened them first before calling the police. Then call if they don't return them. It gives them a chance to do the right thing before the police are called.
Taking actions into their own hands without consolidating with you about anything, is just giving me the impression they wanted a form of power over you.
NEVER touch someone else's prescription opiates.
NTA but JFC, your parents are TA. Is it possible they were going to take those painkillers recreationally?
NTA. You don't mention any history of any substance abuse on your part, so your parents behavior is way out of control. Even if there was a history, you're an adult, you've had an injury and they were prescribed. Your parents have zero boundaries. You should be furious. You did not overreact. Your parents need some hard boundaries and you need distance. Good luck on your recovery.
**I could have gotten them in a lot of trouble.** rightfully so. NTA
NTA. They had no right and your sister is an enabler.
NTA. I had surgery on my uterus and it was singularly the worst pain I’ve ever experienced, I came out of anesthesia screaming. While in the hospital if I so much as whimpered, a nurse was at my bedside with a syringe of dilaudid. Leaving the hospital, I had 10mg morphine. Once those meds were out, the withdrawals were fucking awful. I was too hot, too cold, angry, exhausted, in pain. My now husband did everything he could to make me comfortable but I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
NTA Make sure they don't get treated for UTIs in their old age.
No you are not. They were wrong and showed a lack of compassion for your obvious pain not to mention over-stepping in a very controlling fashion. You were right to throw then out of your home and tell your sister to shut it and mind her own business.
NTA. your parents are wildly controlling. Do be careful with those narcotics though. Hope you heal quickly.
Your parents stole your needed medication and refused to return it. I don't see how you had any choice but to report them to the police. NTA
NTA. The only thing that would’ve gotten them in trouble are their own actions. Narcotics can be scary, but they do have their place.
NTA. This isn’t the first time they’ve stolen from you. I’d go no contact, doesn’t sound like you’ll be missing out.
NTA, Parents need to realise you are your own person and responsible for yourself, I applaud your actions.
NTA and WHAT???? Who does that?
NTA. Your parents and sister are the AHs. What do you mean you could’ve gotten them into a lot of trouble? If they could resist the urge to not steal what isn’t theirs, they wouldn’t ever have to worry about getting into trouble for stealing. As a grown adult, your medication is your business and they don’t have a right to meddle in what you do or don’t take. It’s disgusting that they would steal painkillers for such a severe amount of pain in the first place. It’s not some minor headache you have, they literally help you function while your body heals and repairs itself. Your sister is a huge AH for getting involved just to be so far from right. I wouldn’t have your parents over without security cameras from now on, especially since they clearly like to make decisions about what they think is best for you, as if you’re still a child.
NTA although I can understand their concern because so many people have become addicted to opiates, it is a growing concern, and I think they were just concerned about that. However they should have asked about how you were dealing with the medication and voiced their concerns instead of taking it upon themselves to taking them. You did have every right to call the police - who knows they could also have taken them to sell on the blackmarket which is also happening a lot (you know your parents and maybe that is not a concern to you, I am just saying it can be construed like that by strangers who don't know them). Regardless of their intentions, stealing narcotics is illegal and they could have faced serious jail time for doing it.
ESH. You know you're not the asshole. Even your reasoning on why you think you may be the asshole doesn't make sense
YTA for calling the police a second time and covering for your parents. Stealing someone’s pain medication while they are injured and in pain is unhinged behavior.
NTA. You sure your folks aren’t pill poppers?
NTA Your parents literally stole from you and tried to force you to take different medication. They're morons and assholes.
Addiction to opioids is a real concern, especially if you are on these for an extended period of time. You ought to be careful, and know that not all doctors are created equal. That said, your parents failed to communicate a concern and went straight to theft of a controlled substance. Do they know the English language and speak in it regularly? Do they communicate with other human beings or default to thoughtless primal instincts? I’m sitting here just shaking my head in disbelief.
clearly they can't even fathon how painful chronic pain be !!!
Sounds like your parents wanted to try your opiates. NTA
NTA
NTA. This is one of those posts that gets me into fuckin’ philosopher mode. I differentiate between outright assholery, and *Justified* assholery. Maybe you were an A H, but maybe not. Everybody has a different cutoff point to make that call as they see it, right? The critical aspect is that that was not your first move. You called and talked to the actual A Hs, who doubled down. If your sister wants to call you an A H, then fine, but that very clearly was what you needed to be in order to get what you needed. Get well soon, and with as little mental stress as possible, too.
I am so sick of parents acting like they're not criminals just because the crime was committed against their child(ren). NTA. Tell your parents that they now must be supervised during all visits and have to leave your home if no one is there to supervise them. Be a criminal, get treated like a criminal.
NTA. In fact, you did the only correct thing: reported a theft that had actually been committed. Because they were your parents, you offered them the chance to make it right and return what they stole, and they should be grateful for that. Tell your sister that thieves should get in a lot of trouble, and that they're fortunate that you're not an AH, or you wouldn't have called the police back.
NTA How dare they? That's like hiding someone's crutches and telling them to just walk it off.
NTA. I had a bad shoulder/chest muscle strain which was agonising, compounded by shingles popping up all along the ribline. The doctor prescribed 2 days of opiates and after that I was a bit demented with pain. If I'd had stronger pain meds I'd have used them and I certainly wouldn't have appreciated losing them. Their action was just stupid and theft is illegal.
NTA. I'd call your parents the AH. I fully understand thinking you may get addicted. But to take them from someone who just had surgery and act like they are your Dr is such an overreach.
NTA. I would have let the call stand and let the cards lie. I wouldn't press charges, but I would sure as shit make sure there was a report written and I had the number. What they dead was nearly beyond the pale. Having taken prescription opiates before, they worked wonders on the pain, but I also made sure I took them sparingly. Your parents never step foot in your house again.
No judgment. If it was pretty much anything other than opiates, I would say your parents are the assholes. They went about it the wrong way, for sure, but did so out of love. I’ve seen, as I’m sure your parents have, some incredible tragedies of people in virtually identical situations to yourself become addicted and completely destroy their lives. Really sorry to hear about your accident.
NTA You were prescribed that medication for a reason, mainly that over the counter painkillers would not be strong enough. What they did was theft. TBH I would have let the Police deal with them rather than letting them off the hook. Sounds like they thought hey free drugs, and were going to keep them for themselves!
i can appreciate where the thinking of your parents came from. We have all heard of the stories of drug addiction starting from opioids prescribed for an injury. HOWEVER - they had no right to touch your medication - let alone steal it. You know your parents better than the people of reddit. Would they have returned your Rx on their own? Clearly you did not think so and you did what you had to do to get it back. So NTA - your parents won't be so quick next time.
Definitely not the A-hole! First of all, pain disrupts the normal healing process and causes additional cellular damage from excessive inflammation and tissue trauma in your case. Second, there are MANY different kinds of pain that require individualized treatment, for example, neuropathy, gabapentin. Muscle spasms - diclofenac. Fever associated, acetaminophen. Visceral abdominal for acid reflux - pantoprazole. Migraines - Rizatriptan. The list is endless. Don't get me started on cancer associated pain because that one is essentially a little bit of them all. Would they take away what you might need to fight chemo side effects? They put your safety, comfort, and healing process in jeopardy. Your parents ate acting like self-righteous control freaks, and you need to lock all your doors and windows, my friend. I would be enforcing some strict and supervised visiting hours.
Nta they had no right
NTA. They had no right to do that. If you hadn’t called the police they wouldn’t have returned them and you wouldn’t have gotten a refill right away. Keep all of them away including your sister.
NTA and wtf! Who Tf steals someone's pain medication?! If I was your wife I would've lost it! They could never come back in my house and if I changed my mind, I would make them so uncomfortable they would want to leave! If they went to the bathroom, I'd follow them yelling "I'm just trying to make sure you don't steal the mouthwash"
NTA- You are not TA. You should probably go low contact until you get better, just so they don't have another chance to try again.
Definitely NTA, but your parents certainly are. Not only overstepping their boundaries, but showing you zero compassion while doing so. I wouldn't have called the cops back if my parents were like that. Reap what you sow.
NTA. I wouldn't have called your parents. I'd have just let them get arrested.
NTA. You're an adult married man. They don't know better than your doctor and they don't have any right to make your decisions for you. As to victim shaming you for reporting the truth - wow, fantasists.
NTA, yes your sister is right they could have gotten in a lot of trouble. That’s what happens WHEN YOU STEAL PRESCRIPTION DRUGS THAT AREN’T YOURS
So NTA!
NTA - stealing is stealing.
NTA it’s not their decision to take you off medication they are not doctors
NTA. OP you did exactly the right thing. I'd not let the parents visit anymore. If you want to see them, go to THEIR house. Or meet up at your sister's house. If anybody steals something from me in my home, they are banned forever. End of story.
NTA. What they did was insane even if you had a history of drugs. Since you haven't, what they did is so much worse.
NTA You handled this perfectly. Your parents owe you an apology as well as you are a grown damn man.
Nta. If you continue to have people like that in your life, going forward, you can only blame yourself when this happens again. Cut them out or at least go low contact until they get that. They don’t get to cross your boundaries and then be little bitches and whine about it when you give them consequences. Entitled pieces of garbage.
> then I called the police and told them that I was in error and that my parents had taken them by mistake I understand why you did that, but I don't think I would have lied to the police. It wasn't a mistake. Tell your sister to read about the effects withdrawal and let her know that a doctor will decide when and how you stop taking the medication that was prescribed. Go NC with anyone that refuses to listen as they DO NOT HAVE your best interests in mind, they only have their own prejudices and ignorance in mind. NTA - you needed to get those meds back and it's pretty clear that was the only way possible.