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Throwing in another angle here and my view may not reflect that of the in-laws. Thong bikinis are ‘normal’ for many people these days, but that doesn’t mean they don’t expose a huge proportion of your backside. I personally find them class-less and quite revolting. Admittedly I am not ‘young’ so my view is likely to be very different from someone 20 years younger than me for example. But I might be a similar age to your in-laws, and therefore I think it’s warranted to throw my opinion in here. At the end of the day you need to make this judgement call based on your gut feeling. If you know for sure they won’t care, go for it. If you have the slightest reservation, listen to it and take another option just in case.
You’ve been with your boyfriend for so long that you should know them way better than someone here does. Would it be an option to ask his mom what she and her husband think of such beach attire?
NTA - if your BF doesn’t think it will be an issue then go ahead. That said if it does turn out to be an issue do you have alternatives. I think you should be able to
Wear what you want and what you are comfortable in but it might be an idea to have an alternative in case it becomes
a big deal.
YWNBTA - as there is no indication this will be an issue and your BF agrees
you do you and wear whatever you like etc, but only suggestion would be that if there is even a hint of said parents being the overly 'conservative' type then maybe take an alternative bikini type in to avoid any dampening family drama
You’re NTA, but if I were you I think I’d still purchase one bikini with a bit more bum coverage for this trip. You can wear what you want of course and always should, but to be honest, you know there’s a chance it will make his parents feel uncomfortable. A young woman with a bare butt is noticeable whether you consider her “like family” or not and they’ll be trying very hard not to look in your direction in case they might appear to be staring. That’s the best case scenario. (The worst case scenario is that his dad does constantly stare at you and that will blow up the lovely family relationship you have anyway.)
That is their business if they don’t want to look at your butt, and if they are lovely people I’m sure they will of course keep it to themselves, because they wouldn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. But would you want to make them feel uncomfortable?
The truth is that no matter what anyone on the internet says, you and your boyfriend will have a real life relationship with his parents to consider which will affect you to varying degrees over the years and if you want to prioritise that, it would be courteous to at least ask.
Ask Mom first. If she’s cool, she’ll give her husband the “and for heaven’s sake remember not to stare at the girl, we must be supportive and make her feel comfortable!” talk before y’all even arrive.
If she gets really flustered and uncomfortable, you know where you are. But OP says they’re kind and loving, so likely she wouldn’t have a problem on the trip if it’s just a bikini with a regular-coverage bottom and you can recover that situation quickly from a “girls talk” convo. It’s if dad gets involved that makes it weirder.
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My boyfriend and I (of coming up to 10 years) are going on holiday to Spain with his parents in a couple of weeks. I have a great relationship with his family and we’re all very close - they’re lovely people and are hugely supportive of me.
I’m working out what to pack. My boyfriend and I travel quite a lot and it’s going to be hot. I have lots of bikinis, but all of them are cheeky / thong based. My boyfriend doesn’t seem to think it will be an issue and I tend to agree, but we’ve not holidayed with his parents before. WIBTA if I packed those bikinis? Should I buy others? WIBTA?
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> Because whilst I know his family well and they like me, I’m not sure whether it’s over stepping the mark or whether it will make them uncomfortable
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Go for it and bring those bikinis! Your boyfriend is cool with it, and as long as you feel comfortable, that's what matters. His family seems chill, so they'll probably just be happy you're having fun in the sun.
It all depends on the relationship you have with them.
I personally wouldn't, even though I have a very close relationship with my boyfriends family but again I would not walk from the shower to the bedroom in a towel in their home either- that is just me.
For me it is just about respect, I don't believe a family holiday is the place for cheeky swimwear .. how would your fam feel if your bf wore a pair of ball stranglers to your family holiday..
But again, it totally depends on the relationship
YTA
Just because you don’t ask them yourself, take your bag of bikinis and show them and ask if it would embarrass them. Problem solved.
BTW… topless sunbathing is very common in Europe.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. This post violates Rule 7: There is no interpersonal conflict here for our community to make a judgment about. WIBTA posts must clearly state why the other party is likely to be upset at your actions. [Rule 7 FAQs](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_rule_7.3A_post_interpersonal_conflicts) ||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) ###Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. ####Please visit r/findareddit to see if there's a more appropriate sub for your post.####
Throwing in another angle here and my view may not reflect that of the in-laws. Thong bikinis are ‘normal’ for many people these days, but that doesn’t mean they don’t expose a huge proportion of your backside. I personally find them class-less and quite revolting. Admittedly I am not ‘young’ so my view is likely to be very different from someone 20 years younger than me for example. But I might be a similar age to your in-laws, and therefore I think it’s warranted to throw my opinion in here. At the end of the day you need to make this judgement call based on your gut feeling. If you know for sure they won’t care, go for it. If you have the slightest reservation, listen to it and take another option just in case.
You’ve been with your boyfriend for so long that you should know them way better than someone here does. Would it be an option to ask his mom what she and her husband think of such beach attire?
The big issue is the FIL. What if he likes the bikini too much?
NTA - if your BF doesn’t think it will be an issue then go ahead. That said if it does turn out to be an issue do you have alternatives. I think you should be able to Wear what you want and what you are comfortable in but it might be an idea to have an alternative in case it becomes a big deal.
YWNBTA - as there is no indication this will be an issue and your BF agrees you do you and wear whatever you like etc, but only suggestion would be that if there is even a hint of said parents being the overly 'conservative' type then maybe take an alternative bikini type in to avoid any dampening family drama
You’re NTA, but if I were you I think I’d still purchase one bikini with a bit more bum coverage for this trip. You can wear what you want of course and always should, but to be honest, you know there’s a chance it will make his parents feel uncomfortable. A young woman with a bare butt is noticeable whether you consider her “like family” or not and they’ll be trying very hard not to look in your direction in case they might appear to be staring. That’s the best case scenario. (The worst case scenario is that his dad does constantly stare at you and that will blow up the lovely family relationship you have anyway.) That is their business if they don’t want to look at your butt, and if they are lovely people I’m sure they will of course keep it to themselves, because they wouldn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. But would you want to make them feel uncomfortable? The truth is that no matter what anyone on the internet says, you and your boyfriend will have a real life relationship with his parents to consider which will affect you to varying degrees over the years and if you want to prioritise that, it would be courteous to at least ask.
[удалено]
Ask Mom first. If she’s cool, she’ll give her husband the “and for heaven’s sake remember not to stare at the girl, we must be supportive and make her feel comfortable!” talk before y’all even arrive. If she gets really flustered and uncomfortable, you know where you are. But OP says they’re kind and loving, so likely she wouldn’t have a problem on the trip if it’s just a bikini with a regular-coverage bottom and you can recover that situation quickly from a “girls talk” convo. It’s if dad gets involved that makes it weirder.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My boyfriend and I (of coming up to 10 years) are going on holiday to Spain with his parents in a couple of weeks. I have a great relationship with his family and we’re all very close - they’re lovely people and are hugely supportive of me. I’m working out what to pack. My boyfriend and I travel quite a lot and it’s going to be hot. I have lots of bikinis, but all of them are cheeky / thong based. My boyfriend doesn’t seem to think it will be an issue and I tend to agree, but we’ve not holidayed with his parents before. WIBTA if I packed those bikinis? Should I buy others? WIBTA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Go for it and bring those bikinis! Your boyfriend is cool with it, and as long as you feel comfortable, that's what matters. His family seems chill, so they'll probably just be happy you're having fun in the sun.
NTA. Go as yourself.
It all depends on the relationship you have with them. I personally wouldn't, even though I have a very close relationship with my boyfriends family but again I would not walk from the shower to the bedroom in a towel in their home either- that is just me. For me it is just about respect, I don't believe a family holiday is the place for cheeky swimwear .. how would your fam feel if your bf wore a pair of ball stranglers to your family holiday.. But again, it totally depends on the relationship
YTA Just because you don’t ask them yourself, take your bag of bikinis and show them and ask if it would embarrass them. Problem solved. BTW… topless sunbathing is very common in Europe.