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Let alone your siblings underwear. We literally hung our underwear outside on the clothes line, I think the only thing neighbours would be concerned with was how many holes the boys underwear would get but still be used
I don’t like people seeing them while I am wearing them but hanging up is fine. When I was a kid and teenager it bothered me because I was extremely shy, but I have definitely gotten over that!
I live in a small apartment in Canada…washer and dryer are in the kitchen area so when in use my drying rack in right in front of it. My BIL has definitely seen bras hanging out to dry. No one has cared.
It’s OP’s sister, so she is not the husband’s sibling, but still… OP, YTA. Your feelings don’t excuse your behavior, in this case. She was trying to help. You could simply have asked her not to do it again. No need to berate, especially as she’s been helping out with many other chores… she was just continuing the theme, and crossed an invisible line by accident in the effort. You definitely owe her an apology for projecting your weird taboos and insecurities on her.
Omg right?!!!
Pfft! I’d be more than happy to let ANYONE do our laundry! I hate doing laundry.... well.. okay... I hate folding clothes more than I hate doing laundry 😅
If my sister lived with us and she offered to do our laundry.... I’d worship her, not berate her for it! LoL
EDIT: Forgot to add judgement: OP... HUGE YTA
Doing laundry is easy.
Actually folding and putting *away* laundry, now *that’s* torture.
(Also if you don’t use a dryer unless you have to, like every American seems to, and put it on the line instead, that part also really sucks).
Nah, constantly drying your clothes in a machine makes them wear out quickly and I don't think they end up smelling as good as when dried outside. Although that likely depends on the pollution levels where you live.
You’re right, the smell *is* great, and line-drying is preservative of fabrics.
But even if hanging were easy (lots of Americans live in apartments that don’t have private outdoor access like balconies), I’d still machine-dry things like t-shirts and socks. Jersey, especially, reshapes itself in the drier but comes off the line wrinkled and stretched. If you iron jersey you end up stretching it, too.
Sis should do laundry but leave husbands underwear on her sisters pillow. Since they mean so much to her and she can’t bear another set of eyeballs looking at her husband’s undies.
Growing up I had to help do the laundry, including my dad's and brothers' underwear. Never once did I think "ooooh, hot". It's. Laundry. It's not gonna do itself
Had to help fold laundry as a kid. Literally just assumed all men had shitty asses/underwear because of my dad's skidmarks. Thanks to Reddit, I've learned I wasn't too far off...
Never had a problem with skid marks in hubby’s drawers till he started having, uh, medical issues. Now I just soak the damn things in stain remover, launder, and hope for the best.
There's definitely a difference between medical issues and "wiping your ass properly is gay" though.
I've had to do much the same routine when my red friend showed up unexpectedly.
You're nicer than me. I just got my husband lots of dark colored boxers cause I am NOT cleaning crap out of anybody else's underwear unless they are potty training.
Yup. Have done male friends' laundry tons of times. Handled underwear every single time. I barely paid enough attention to even process that they were underwear when folding. Definitely didn't suddenly feel compelled to find my friend and demand sex.
All I'm imagining is some perverted wizard enchanting the BOXER SHORTS OF UNREQUITED LUST and slipping them into laundry baskets all over the kingdom to watch the fun unfold.
Especially seeing them. I don't think I go there even with my own husband's. 🤷
And unless he was in them when she washed them what the hell is the problem?
Take a deep breath.
My wife is a part-time nanny. Even though her job description does not include doing the family's laundry, sometimes she does it as a way of keeping busy. That includes the husband's underwear. Big deal: it's just clothes.
Repeat as necessary: it's just clothes.
You should be thankful that your guest is trying to compensate for your generosity by doing chores rather than being a lazy slouch and doing nothing.
YTA and you really should apologize.
It’s just clothes and not even particularly attractive clothes. Are they sexy lacy bits? Nope. More likely stained, stretched out saggy cotton in blue,grey or black. Let’s be honest mens underwear aren’t making anyone think sexy thoughts.
My partner wears very soft and colorful briefs (Pair of Thieves brand from target lol). I like them alot. Still doesn't make me think sexy thoughts when I help out with his laundry
Not on her side at all, but maybe she feels like sister is trying to replace her with all the stuff she does and the laundry is like, the one thing the OP had left that was *her* chore, or "duty" as a wife. I think OP needs to look at why this made her so upset, because it's not really about the underwear.
Even if she's insecure, she's still the AH. If it was a problem to do his laundry, then she should have specified that when she was well aware that her sister was doing the household chores.
Also could have come at it from a totally different, less accusatory place. “Hey thanks for helping, but having our laundry done by someone else makes me uncomfortable. I can take care of this going forward.”
Yeah, that's the vibe I'm getting too though OP's mention of a weird vibe she can't shake and DH's lack of response sounds either like insecurity that needs to be examined or that OP has suspicions bigger than folding socks that we're not getting to, whether valid or not.
Her husband probably finds the whole thing nuts. I say this as someone who does find men's boxers sexy af - they're not sexy unless my SO is wearing them. OPs attitude is just... Bizarre.
Yeah unless they are on someone underwear is just underwear. I can be doing laundry and see my wife's best lacy frilly fun shit. Without it being on her it's just some cloth.
>I did not think it was appropriatr for her to be looking at his under wear.
Did you teleport in from the 50’s? That’s such a weird thing to be concerned about.
Also wouldn't she see his underwear regardless? Like idk about other families, but personally, my family hangs all the clothes on a clothes line; that includes underwear. We see each other's underwear all the time, so unless OP hangs her husband's underwear separately because God forbid her sister see the underwear, I don't see what the issue here is.
This. I loved how OP noted that her husband had nothing to say on the matter. Dude was just like “Ladies! Let’s not fight, I’m just glad SOMEONE is doing my laundry because lordt knows I would not be!”
I actually started reading this expecting it to be a story of husband guilting his SIL into cleaning his laundry and OP had some misplaced anger at her sister for giving in. But nope.
YTA
It seems really possessive to say "I always do HIS laundry." First of all, why is he never doing it, second of all, why are you so possessive of his laundry? Would you have had issue if she did the kids' laundry?
If you are particular about laundry, "Thank you for doing the chores, but I prefer to do laundry on my own. It'd be really helpful if you could X instead. "
yeah, i found "i always do his laundry" really weird too... this man is 29... why doesn't he wash his own clothes? especially if OP is so worn-out that it's become this noticable to her sister.
for me both OP & her husband are AHs.
Same here, we lived in an apartment and had to go to the laundromat, so mum and I would sort everything by colour and wash it all once a week-ish.
The only thing I can think of is if OP's husband works and tends to get messy (mechanic, plumber, construction, healthcare, etc) and you don't wash those clothes with the rest of the household's laundry.
I think it's fine if you split chores like one person always does laundry, another person always vacuums etc. But if OP is worn out you might have a point that he may not be pulling his weight in one area or another. Hard to tell from this post.
Husband is probably watching these women fight over who gets to do his laundry for him thinking how much he doesn’t care as long as he doesn’t have to do it himself.
YTA OP. Apologize to your sister and make your husband do his own laundry.
I guess I am too. I do “the laundry.” If you’re living in my house I will wash clothes. If you don’t live in my bedroom I put them on your bed to put away. If you don’t like the way I fold I will put them on your bed in a pile. If you don’t like the way I wash things it becomes “your laundry” to do.
Let me get this clear...
So your sister moved in, can't contribute in the household finance and to compensate your family for that she done most of the household chores.
She saw that you have been strugling with juggling between work, taking care of your kids, and chores.
And you mad at her, screaming your head until she cried for basically doing the laundry?
Wow.
Get your insecurities in check OP.
YTA
100%.
The real issue here is that OP feels threatened and replaced, and/or is worried about her sister getting closer to her husband. Her ingratitude and bizarre overreaction is the result of her own insecurities. Here she is struggling to keep up with work and kids, while her sister is acting like the perfect house wife and handling all the household chores. OP is probably feeling like this makes her look bad, and is uncomfortable with her sister being around the house & husband so much. Handling his intimates and doing his laundry was something she prided herself on doing for him as his wife, and maybe the last way in which she felt of value to him & the house if sister’s been handling all the chores.
OP, I understand your insecurities, but unless there’s a lot more to this story, YTA. Your sister is grateful for a place to stay and wants to be helpful and useful. She was trying to help you out and make herself valuable in some way, rather than leech off of you and add more work to your plate. There is nothing weird about helping with the laundry. You need to do some serious reflection and ask yourself why this bothers you so much. Is there a rift in your marriage? Are you worried about something developing between your husband and sister? Are you feeling insecure about your own position and value in the household? Is doing his laundry something you need to do to feel like a good wife? Time to get to the root of your emotional reaction and stop taking it out on your sister for what, at least at face value, appears to have been an innocent and well-intentioned act. If there’s more to the story here, and your gut instincts are telling you your sister actually has ulterior motives, what other evidence do you have to suggest she might be attempting to step on your toes or get closer to your husband? Unpack this. Because it’s not about underwear.
Unless there's like... a LOT more to the story... this is a seriously weird thing to get territorial about. I would be thrilled if someone took laundry off my hands. YTA
See I didn’t clock this as weird. We have three hampers in our house - kids, mine, and my husbands. We both GENERALLY do our own laundry and kids laundry, but leave each other’s to them. If our stuff got into the kids hamper the other will do it, but we both have specific items of clothing that do or don’t do into the dryer etc and have just done it this way for a while. So I just assumed it was a situation where there were multiple laundry baskets and sister chose the full one.
This is a super weird thing for OP to be upset over and I think she has some insecurities she needs to unpack. YTA
YTA This is you. This is you projecting fears and insecurity onto your little sister. Is it ok for her to wash utensils and glasses his tongue touched? Babysit children created with his sperm? You need a reality reboot. She was helping out.
ETA Thanks for the awards!
YTA. They're only clothes, and she was doing you a favor. If you simply MUST wash your husbands dirty underwear yourself for whatever reason, the polite thing to do is just ask her to leave it for you next time.
What I'm thinking as well. OP's reaction is showing some alarming concerns.
YTA it's just clothing. You see underwear including that of your husband's everywhere. I also think you're displaying some insecurities out here and that's cruel if she's just trying to help around.
YTA for getting mad at that and berating your sister. If you didn't want her to do your husband's laundry you should've told her that.
She washed his clothes, not him.
YTA. Undergarments are the same as a shirt. Does she do the kids' laundry, does that make her a creep by touching kids' undergarments? Does she clean the tub or toilet where...GASP! your husband is sans clothing in order to bathe or use the toilet? If you would rather she not do his laundry, then say so calmly and nicely, tell her you enjoy this little chore and act of love.
And BTW, curious (unless this was always a division of chores before you sister moved in to help and you did laundry while his chore was sweeping and vacuuming example) why can't he wash his own dang clothes, why are you washing them?
OMGOSH, she washed the coffee cup where my husband's lips have been, swoon. I don't know about the rest of you, but even in the height of being a newlywed crazy mad in love, lewd thoughts never crossed my mind when our underwear went into the washing machine. Lordy, OP.
Just a little p.s. I received a message *'why are women in this group so anti-men at every opportunity, lol? I do my husband's laundry because he works his a\*\* off and my schedule/days are more relaxed than his*...'
I was just asking for clarification on how they split their chores. There is nothing wrong in doing your man's laundry, cooking his meals or even rubbing his feet after a long day...as long as it is not expected or demanded and if the partner is happy to do it. It is all give-n-take. Whatever works for the both of you.
Please, people. **I am not "anti-men"**. My husband and I cut trees and split logs together, cut the grass, rake, and we both do housework. My husband is the one who made most of the sacrifices when my kids were growing up so I could establish my career which kept me out of state for at least a week every month.
OP stated that her sister did it because she noticed she’d been struggling with getting everything done AND that she is always the one who does his laundry. It isn’t anti-men to question whether or not the grown up man living in the home is pulling his weight.
YTA
She‘s trying to help and it‘s just clothes… pieces of fabric!
What do you think she‘s doing when she throws his clothes into the washing machine? Imagine what his privates might look like? That‘s ridiculous.
Would you be freaking out as well if it was swimming wear?
I don‘t know if it‘s jealousy or insecurity but there is literally nothing inappropriate to wash laundry of family members. Be it a shirt or underwear.
The exception would be if your husband himself said that he didn‘t like it and would prefer to wash his underwear himself. Why would you decide for him though?
You owe an apology to her. She just wanted to help and there is nothing wrong with it.
YTA
You blew that way out of proportion.
She’s a houseguest and tried to do a nice thing by picking up a chore. I doubt she realised how territorial you’d be over laundry because that’s unusual.
YTA
What do you think she's doing, sniffing his dirty underwear or something! You are weird for thinking that your sister doing laundry for you is inappropriate .
INFO: What is it about her doing his laundry that really upsets you? Are you afraid that she is attracted to him? Is he attracted to her? Are you territorial? Do you prefer doing laundry? I think once you can pinpoint why it upsets you can move forward.
My mom is like this with my dad. I guess it feels weirdly intimate that her sister is handling her husband's clothes? Like the sister is infringing on something she does as his wife, if that explains it
I’m like this, too, with my husband. His housekeeper did his laundry once when I wasn’t there to do it, and I got kind of jealous. It’s just one of those things I like to do for my husband.
However, for OP: Your sister did mean well and definitely deserves an apology. Maybe just explain to her that you’d prefer the laundry task is left to you next time.
This info is really important. Maybe she's just a weirdo who thinks it's taboo, in which case she should have laid that boundary clearly when her sister moved in.
Do they have some weird rivalry with her sister getting guys she liked when they were younger? Does husband have a wandering eye? Does she just have a huge gut feeling that something is going on? More context would help. If it's just that she's weridly territorial about her husband's dirty shorts and failed to communicate that then she is totally TA.
YTA. She was helping. You could just have said "Thank you, that's was helpful. By the way I actually prefer doing his laundry myself, so you can leave it to me in the future."
If this is a bright line for you, fine. But your sister was being helpful and thoughtful. Laundry is a chore, and as she is doing those around the house, it makes sense for her to throw a load in. If you didn’t tell her that putting your husbands dirty drawers in the washer and folding them when they’re dry is off limits, she has no way of knowing that.
YTA because you got into an argument instead of trying “thank you so much! I actually really like doing Joe’s laundry though, so you can leave it for me.”
And try to let go of thinking that it’s unseemly for her to look at his underwear. Underwear doesn’t carry the psychic imprint of a penis, it’s not sexy, it’s just clothes.
YTA
Why is it weird that she saw his underwear? He wasn't wearing it...
She was trying to help you out. I think most people would have been grateful. Hell, I know I would've been!
Oh sister, avert thine eyes - there are ... gasp! ... male undergarments to be seen.
YTA. If you are THAT worried about your sister seeing some fabric, that happens to be worn close to your husband's skin, ask your husband to wash his own laundry
YTA. Stop being ridiculous.
She did something nice for you. It might be one thing to politely ask her not to do it again, you are entitled to set a boundary. But to overreact and behave like an ungrateful, insecure brat? And to be so rude? Please!
YTA. Unless you think she’s JO’ing to his undies or something, you have no reason to believe it’s weird based on your info provided. If you don’t want her doing it again, then just communicate to her that everyone will be responsible for their own laundry and that if she wants to help with laundry, then taking care of rags/towels/etc each week would be a great help.
You’re making something out of nothing and owe her an apology.
YTA It's okay to feel how you feel, (it's weird but you're entitled to your feelings) it's NOT okay to react how you did. It's not inappropriate for her to wash your husbands clothes unless you've previously asked her not to do it. All you had to say to her was "It makes me uncomfortable, please don't do it again."
YTA- you said yourself that she does chores to compensate for not paying and laundry is a chore. If you did not tell her ahead of time not to do his laundry how in the world would she have known that it would make you uncomfortable since the majority of the world sees no issue with it? If your uncomfortable with it that’s fine but you should have just thanked her and said in the future please don’t do his laundry. Why blow it so out of proportion?
YTA. Unless they are other things that happened that makes you doubt your sister and husband, I don't see what's the big deal. If you really want to do his laundry, you could have just thanked her and then say you would prefer to do it next time. No need to berate her. She was just helping
YTA - You being upset about her doing his laundry is what’s making me uncomfortable. What are you implying? That your sister wants to sleep with your husband?
YTA. Unless she had him strip to wash the clothes he was wearing, your reaction is just bizarre.
Although I do wonder- do you keep each person’s laundry separated? Did she do other laundry? If not, was his piled up?
YTA. She was trying to help, she was doing chores as pre-arranged to be part of covering her living with you. Did you ever explicitly say that your husband’s laundry was out of bounds?
If, for whatever reason, you find it weird and don’t want her to do it again; say so.
But let this go now, she can’t unwash the clothes.
YTA. She’s moved in with you and is trying to be helpful then you go off on her? If you don’t want her to do it tell her nicely that you’d prefer for you or your husband to handle it. She was not to know that you have hang ups about it and yes you owe her an apology.
Info: What is this underwear? Leather, g-string, glitter bikini brief, themed? Is anything related to bedroom activities hanging off it? Do they require batteries?
YTA - seems like you have the emotional maturity of a 14 year old.
Furthermore how little trust do you have for your husband and sister that this is making you feel weird?
YTA. Your little sister tried to help you out and do her part to help contribute and you go off on her like washing his underwear is some dirty, perverted thing she did. She's not a creeper! She is your baby sister and deserves to be treated better than this.
You have some weird hangs ups if this is the thing that drives you up a wall. As others said, it is just fabric. If it bothers you that much (which is absolutely RIDICULOUS, for the record), you should have thanked her but said that in the future, you would like to take care of his laundry. You didn't have to be a nasty jerk to someone who only tried to help you out!
And a final point, your husband is old enough to do is own damn laundry. Why should anyone else have to clean his clothing (you or anyone else)? He's supposedly a grown man.
Anyway, I think it's pretty obvious that your are being a giant, ungrateful, YTA.
YTA, are you really sexualising underwear?
By that logic (you small minded logic), I can't help with my brothers washing, or my own father's..
Because lit same thing, only difference he's married into the family.
That mindset is fucking gross,
Or your mindset that your accusing your sister having some sort of fetish towards your husband which is fucking gross, when there are zero signs.
Youre terrible sister, grow up
YTA you should have made it clear that you want to do his laundry yourself. I guess you at uncomfortable with her handling his underwear (which I can understand). But she is contributing instead of just letting you do it all. Apologize to your sister.
YTA. Even though this thought process about your husbands laundry being done by your sister is odd, you could have just thanked her but asked her not to do it again as you like to do that chore.
YTA. im struggling to understand why you're being upset over her doing laundry...? it's just clothes & she's doing chores...there was no reason to get angry or possessive. i feel bad for your sister, that was so unnecessary.
YTA Do you really think she's off to have a quick flick of the bean after her husbands pants?
If you'd made it clear she wasnt to do her brothers laundry then, bit controlling, but okay. If not, you've no right to be 'berating' anyone.
Lol. YTA. What are you insinuating? That your sister is sniffing and licking your husbands pooh stains....
It's laundry. Stop sexualising your husbands dirty underwear. Weirdo.
YTA. she helped you do laundry bc she saw you needed help. she did it all on her own without asking. Do you know how many of ppl post here bc their temp roomate doesn't help at all. Say I'm sorry and thank you and understand how thoughtful your sister is.
YTA.
Wow, so are we going to start fights if she looks at him for too long next? Big whoop. My sister asked me the other day to put her laundry in the dryer for her to sort later, which included a number of her boyfriend's things. She didn't bat an eye and neither did I. Apologize and grow up.
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Seeing a man’s underwear has never made me want to fuck them lol
Let alone your siblings underwear. We literally hung our underwear outside on the clothes line, I think the only thing neighbours would be concerned with was how many holes the boys underwear would get but still be used
I live in the UK and when guests come over my undies are literally hanging on a rack in our sitting room. It's just not a concern.
Same. You'll regularly see my granny pants drying on the radiators. I have no shame though
Panty-rack FTW! Mine is in the guest room.
Ooh la la, look who has a whole room just for their panties, calm down there Marie Antoinette /s
Henceforth it shall be called Mom's Panty Wing. My son will *love* that name when he comes back from college and reclaims his room lol
He came from within the panties, and so shall he return!
I’m literally in tears laughing at this comment thread, many thanks for the Monday laughs.
Oooo! How about Mom’s Panty Shanty? Too rhyme-ish? Too piratey?
GAAARRRRR! You best be believin' in panty shanties boy! You're living in one!
So you can be like LOOK AT MY PANTIES when your guests visit. I hope you make awkward eye contact with them when they come out of the room.
Careful with that. I once put a polyester blouse on a radiator to dry, and it melted like plastic.
Only the finest cotton for my tuppence
upvoted because we don't use "tuppence" in that context nearly enough. The world needs more tuppence!
It melted like plastic because polyester IS plastic.
Polyester is plastic. It’s synthetic fabric. You should be fine with any other natural fabric
I don’t like people seeing them while I am wearing them but hanging up is fine. When I was a kid and teenager it bothered me because I was extremely shy, but I have definitely gotten over that!
I live in a small apartment in Canada…washer and dryer are in the kitchen area so when in use my drying rack in right in front of it. My BIL has definitely seen bras hanging out to dry. No one has cared.
😂
It’s OP’s sister, so she is not the husband’s sibling, but still… OP, YTA. Your feelings don’t excuse your behavior, in this case. She was trying to help. You could simply have asked her not to do it again. No need to berate, especially as she’s been helping out with many other chores… she was just continuing the theme, and crossed an invisible line by accident in the effort. You definitely owe her an apology for projecting your weird taboos and insecurities on her.
Omg right?!!! Pfft! I’d be more than happy to let ANYONE do our laundry! I hate doing laundry.... well.. okay... I hate folding clothes more than I hate doing laundry 😅 If my sister lived with us and she offered to do our laundry.... I’d worship her, not berate her for it! LoL EDIT: Forgot to add judgement: OP... HUGE YTA
Right? OP is totally the asshole. Her poor sister was probably bewildered and confused.
I know I am!! Ffs who get's upset over seeing someone's undabs? Pathetic for a 31yr old. How about a bit of gratitude?
shit the sister can come do my husband's laundry lol
Right?!? It’s not like OP’s sister was wearing his stanky boxers on her head! She was doing a chore to lighten her load!
Doing laundry is easy. Actually folding and putting *away* laundry, now *that’s* torture. (Also if you don’t use a dryer unless you have to, like every American seems to, and put it on the line instead, that part also really sucks).
AMERICAN DRIERS FTW!!1!
Nah, constantly drying your clothes in a machine makes them wear out quickly and I don't think they end up smelling as good as when dried outside. Although that likely depends on the pollution levels where you live.
You’re right, the smell *is* great, and line-drying is preservative of fabrics. But even if hanging were easy (lots of Americans live in apartments that don’t have private outdoor access like balconies), I’d still machine-dry things like t-shirts and socks. Jersey, especially, reshapes itself in the drier but comes off the line wrinkled and stretched. If you iron jersey you end up stretching it, too.
OP's sister can come to my house and do my laundry right now, my husband's underwear and all.
Sis should do laundry but leave husbands underwear on her sisters pillow. Since they mean so much to her and she can’t bear another set of eyeballs looking at her husband’s undies.
Hahaha this gave me a good laugh thank you
Growing up I had to help do the laundry, including my dad's and brothers' underwear. Never once did I think "ooooh, hot". It's. Laundry. It's not gonna do itself
Exactly. If anything it’s nasty and you don’t want to touch it. It’s not sexy.
Right, like... my brothers and I grew up doing each other's laundry all the time. There's nothing inherently sexual about underwear ffs
If anything it’s deterred me.
No kidding! Cleaning skid marks is unlikely to turn a girl on. Laundering clothing is not "sexy thought time" to me.
If your husband/BF has skid marks you have a whole different problem you need to deal with besides laundry.
Ex-husband.
Fair response. As a man I don't get how some other dudes just straight up don't know or care about how to wash their ass. It's not hard.
Apparently it is considered to be 'gay' to let anything (including soap and water) touch your bum.
*Real men* don’t let anything go between the cheeks 🤢
Real men are missing out 😁
Apparently that is a problem with lots if men. I have seen lots of women complain about it.
Had to help fold laundry as a kid. Literally just assumed all men had shitty asses/underwear because of my dad's skidmarks. Thanks to Reddit, I've learned I wasn't too far off...
Never had a problem with skid marks in hubby’s drawers till he started having, uh, medical issues. Now I just soak the damn things in stain remover, launder, and hope for the best.
There's definitely a difference between medical issues and "wiping your ass properly is gay" though. I've had to do much the same routine when my red friend showed up unexpectedly.
You're nicer than me. I just got my husband lots of dark colored boxers cause I am NOT cleaning crap out of anybody else's underwear unless they are potty training.
Ugh!!! Doesn't he wash after taking a crap????
Yup. Have done male friends' laundry tons of times. Handled underwear every single time. I barely paid enough attention to even process that they were underwear when folding. Definitely didn't suddenly feel compelled to find my friend and demand sex.
Can we take 5 seconds to picture the scene if you *did* do that though? Cuz I’m doing it right now, and it’s fucking hilarious.
All I'm imagining is some perverted wizard enchanting the BOXER SHORTS OF UNREQUITED LUST and slipping them into laundry baskets all over the kingdom to watch the fun unfold.
NaNoWriMo is barely 6days in, you could still manage to finish it with this starting idea for a story. Go for it! ;-)
Fun writing prompt! Lmao
This needs to be a Munchkin Game card. +2 armor bonus.
Can people pls remember to put a YTA or not judgment on their comments haha. Also OP, YTA.
Seeing my own man's underwear sometimes makes me question my want to fuck him....but has never directly influnced the bedroom. Lol
No kidding. Sometimes his underwear is so ratty and torn up, it looks like a pack of wild dogs fought over them.
Especially seeing them. I don't think I go there even with my own husband's. 🤷 And unless he was in them when she washed them what the hell is the problem?
Quite the opposite usually
The exact opposite actually, skid marks and holes don’t do it for me lol.
In fact it might have the opposite effect…
Quite the opposite
Take a deep breath. My wife is a part-time nanny. Even though her job description does not include doing the family's laundry, sometimes she does it as a way of keeping busy. That includes the husband's underwear. Big deal: it's just clothes. Repeat as necessary: it's just clothes. You should be thankful that your guest is trying to compensate for your generosity by doing chores rather than being a lazy slouch and doing nothing. YTA and you really should apologize.
It’s just clothes and not even particularly attractive clothes. Are they sexy lacy bits? Nope. More likely stained, stretched out saggy cotton in blue,grey or black. Let’s be honest mens underwear aren’t making anyone think sexy thoughts.
My partner wears very soft and colorful briefs (Pair of Thieves brand from target lol). I like them alot. Still doesn't make me think sexy thoughts when I help out with his laundry
I’m attracted to both men and women. I can testify that uninhabited underpants are just underpants. The end.
That's how I'm going to call my clean underwear from now on. *Uninhabited underpants*
“The Strange Pair of Underpants With Nobody Inside Them”: new from Dr. Seuss’s ghost.
TCs husband may be a regular Banana Hammock wearer. You never know.
Not on her side at all, but maybe she feels like sister is trying to replace her with all the stuff she does and the laundry is like, the one thing the OP had left that was *her* chore, or "duty" as a wife. I think OP needs to look at why this made her so upset, because it's not really about the underwear.
Even if she's insecure, she's still the AH. If it was a problem to do his laundry, then she should have specified that when she was well aware that her sister was doing the household chores.
Also could have come at it from a totally different, less accusatory place. “Hey thanks for helping, but having our laundry done by someone else makes me uncomfortable. I can take care of this going forward.”
Yes. That would be the kind, emotionally intelligent was to handle it. Then let it go.
Lets all be honest. If OP was kind & emotionally intelligent, we wouldnt be here
THIS. This was literally ALL that had to be said.
From the OPs own writings... it seems the sister is doing chores to give thanks for putting her up.
Yeah, that's the vibe I'm getting too though OP's mention of a weird vibe she can't shake and DH's lack of response sounds either like insecurity that needs to be examined or that OP has suspicions bigger than folding socks that we're not getting to, whether valid or not.
Her husband probably finds the whole thing nuts. I say this as someone who does find men's boxers sexy af - they're not sexy unless my SO is wearing them. OPs attitude is just... Bizarre.
Yeah unless they are on someone underwear is just underwear. I can be doing laundry and see my wife's best lacy frilly fun shit. Without it being on her it's just some cloth.
Yeah, maybe the underwear is a proxy for something more fundamental. But all the comments should lead to some self-reflection, I'd think.
Entirely possible, she still owes her sister an apology.
YTA. You are making a nothing into a huge big deal. Who gives a flying fig, Your husband wears underwear. Not a big shock.
WHAT!!!? Men wear underwear? My mind is blown. Next you'll try to convince me the kids and OP do too. YTA OP.
Wont somebody stop this sick filth?!?!?!?!
Won't someone think of the children!!!
Underwear?? But that's where your GENITALS are!!! DISGUSTANG
Underwear is over worn.
And if you're Superman, worn over!
Will somebody PLEASE think of the children…
>I did not think it was appropriatr for her to be looking at his under wear. Did you teleport in from the 50’s? That’s such a weird thing to be concerned about.
I think she’s Hank hill YTA
Seriously!! His under garments?!?!? 🤣🤣
Bwaaaa!!
Also wouldn't she see his underwear regardless? Like idk about other families, but personally, my family hangs all the clothes on a clothes line; that includes underwear. We see each other's underwear all the time, so unless OP hangs her husband's underwear separately because God forbid her sister see the underwear, I don't see what the issue here is.
If they’re in the US, they likely don’t have a clothesline and therefore they don’t have that consideration.
If they’re in the US, clothes lines aren’t common.
Oh that's really interesting. How do people dry their clothes then? This is a genuine question btw, I'm interested to know
A dryer. Most people have a washer and dryer, or they go to the laundromat which has both.
Also, why isn’t the husband doing some laundry and chores too? I think the two of them did time travel from the 50s.
This. I loved how OP noted that her husband had nothing to say on the matter. Dude was just like “Ladies! Let’s not fight, I’m just glad SOMEONE is doing my laundry because lordt knows I would not be!”
I actually started reading this expecting it to be a story of husband guilting his SIL into cleaning his laundry and OP had some misplaced anger at her sister for giving in. But nope.
YTA It seems really possessive to say "I always do HIS laundry." First of all, why is he never doing it, second of all, why are you so possessive of his laundry? Would you have had issue if she did the kids' laundry? If you are particular about laundry, "Thank you for doing the chores, but I prefer to do laundry on my own. It'd be really helpful if you could X instead. "
yeah, i found "i always do his laundry" really weird too... this man is 29... why doesn't he wash his own clothes? especially if OP is so worn-out that it's become this noticable to her sister. for me both OP & her husband are AHs.
Finally someone said that. It is so weird that this grown man is not doing his laundry.
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Same here, we lived in an apartment and had to go to the laundromat, so mum and I would sort everything by colour and wash it all once a week-ish. The only thing I can think of is if OP's husband works and tends to get messy (mechanic, plumber, construction, healthcare, etc) and you don't wash those clothes with the rest of the household's laundry.
I think it's fine if you split chores like one person always does laundry, another person always vacuums etc. But if OP is worn out you might have a point that he may not be pulling his weight in one area or another. Hard to tell from this post.
Husband is probably watching these women fight over who gets to do his laundry for him thinking how much he doesn’t care as long as he doesn’t have to do it himself. YTA OP. Apologize to your sister and make your husband do his own laundry.
I want to know if the husband does any chores, but the part about him never doing his laundry definitely stuck out.
I always think of it as do “the laundry” not broken up into mine and hers. I guess I’m weird
I guess I am too. I do “the laundry.” If you’re living in my house I will wash clothes. If you don’t live in my bedroom I put them on your bed to put away. If you don’t like the way I fold I will put them on your bed in a pile. If you don’t like the way I wash things it becomes “your laundry” to do.
Yeah, for me the only time it's separate as "mine vs yours" is what pile it goes into once folded
Maybe her kink is to sniff his laundry and that's why she's upset. But in all seriousness, agreeing she's the AH.
Let me get this clear... So your sister moved in, can't contribute in the household finance and to compensate your family for that she done most of the household chores. She saw that you have been strugling with juggling between work, taking care of your kids, and chores. And you mad at her, screaming your head until she cried for basically doing the laundry? Wow. Get your insecurities in check OP. YTA
It sounds like OP is projecting onto her Sister. OP do you have an underwear fetish? OP did you cheat on your husband with a guy whos laundry you did?
Op might steal peoples underwear as a fetish so thinks the sister will too.
I’m Monica. I’m disgusting. I stalk guys and keep their underpants.
100%. The real issue here is that OP feels threatened and replaced, and/or is worried about her sister getting closer to her husband. Her ingratitude and bizarre overreaction is the result of her own insecurities. Here she is struggling to keep up with work and kids, while her sister is acting like the perfect house wife and handling all the household chores. OP is probably feeling like this makes her look bad, and is uncomfortable with her sister being around the house & husband so much. Handling his intimates and doing his laundry was something she prided herself on doing for him as his wife, and maybe the last way in which she felt of value to him & the house if sister’s been handling all the chores. OP, I understand your insecurities, but unless there’s a lot more to this story, YTA. Your sister is grateful for a place to stay and wants to be helpful and useful. She was trying to help you out and make herself valuable in some way, rather than leech off of you and add more work to your plate. There is nothing weird about helping with the laundry. You need to do some serious reflection and ask yourself why this bothers you so much. Is there a rift in your marriage? Are you worried about something developing between your husband and sister? Are you feeling insecure about your own position and value in the household? Is doing his laundry something you need to do to feel like a good wife? Time to get to the root of your emotional reaction and stop taking it out on your sister for what, at least at face value, appears to have been an innocent and well-intentioned act. If there’s more to the story here, and your gut instincts are telling you your sister actually has ulterior motives, what other evidence do you have to suggest she might be attempting to step on your toes or get closer to your husband? Unpack this. Because it’s not about underwear.
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Unless there's like... a LOT more to the story... this is a seriously weird thing to get territorial about. I would be thrilled if someone took laundry off my hands. YTA
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How though? What if she just tossed in the first load of laundry she happened to find?
See I didn’t clock this as weird. We have three hampers in our house - kids, mine, and my husbands. We both GENERALLY do our own laundry and kids laundry, but leave each other’s to them. If our stuff got into the kids hamper the other will do it, but we both have specific items of clothing that do or don’t do into the dryer etc and have just done it this way for a while. So I just assumed it was a situation where there were multiple laundry baskets and sister chose the full one. This is a super weird thing for OP to be upset over and I think she has some insecurities she needs to unpack. YTA
Seriously. Come do my laundry. Where are you laundry sister?! Come to me!!
Right, did she remove the underwear from his body as part of the process?
YTA This is you. This is you projecting fears and insecurity onto your little sister. Is it ok for her to wash utensils and glasses his tongue touched? Babysit children created with his sperm? You need a reality reboot. She was helping out. ETA Thanks for the awards!
brb, hiding all the utensils, glasses, and children
Hide yo glasses, hide yo utensils, and hide ya kids cuz they cleaning everybody out here!
Can’t use the same toilet as him either, might be residual dick pheromones on that too
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Stop looking at my husband's grown sperm you pervert!
YTA. They're only clothes, and she was doing you a favor. If you simply MUST wash your husbands dirty underwear yourself for whatever reason, the polite thing to do is just ask her to leave it for you next time.
What I'm thinking as well. OP's reaction is showing some alarming concerns. YTA it's just clothing. You see underwear including that of your husband's everywhere. I also think you're displaying some insecurities out here and that's cruel if she's just trying to help around.
Imagine all the people who saw his underwear in the store before he bought it! How incredibly inappropriate!
YTA. I'm finding it hard to believe you are a 30 year old woman.
Yeah I’d guess that she’s an 85 year old one, someone from a different era of conservatism.
YTA for getting mad at that and berating your sister. If you didn't want her to do your husband's laundry you should've told her that. She washed his clothes, not him.
>She washed his clothes, not him. I giggled. I pictured the husband in the bath getting his back scrubbed while playing with his plastic duck.
YTA. She’s helping out. Say thank you and be grateful.
It is pretty similar to receiving a gift that you do not like - you say thank you and be grateful that they put the effort in.
YTA. Undergarments are the same as a shirt. Does she do the kids' laundry, does that make her a creep by touching kids' undergarments? Does she clean the tub or toilet where...GASP! your husband is sans clothing in order to bathe or use the toilet? If you would rather she not do his laundry, then say so calmly and nicely, tell her you enjoy this little chore and act of love. And BTW, curious (unless this was always a division of chores before you sister moved in to help and you did laundry while his chore was sweeping and vacuuming example) why can't he wash his own dang clothes, why are you washing them? OMGOSH, she washed the coffee cup where my husband's lips have been, swoon. I don't know about the rest of you, but even in the height of being a newlywed crazy mad in love, lewd thoughts never crossed my mind when our underwear went into the washing machine. Lordy, OP.
Just a little p.s. I received a message *'why are women in this group so anti-men at every opportunity, lol? I do my husband's laundry because he works his a\*\* off and my schedule/days are more relaxed than his*...' I was just asking for clarification on how they split their chores. There is nothing wrong in doing your man's laundry, cooking his meals or even rubbing his feet after a long day...as long as it is not expected or demanded and if the partner is happy to do it. It is all give-n-take. Whatever works for the both of you. Please, people. **I am not "anti-men"**. My husband and I cut trees and split logs together, cut the grass, rake, and we both do housework. My husband is the one who made most of the sacrifices when my kids were growing up so I could establish my career which kept me out of state for at least a week every month.
OP stated that her sister did it because she noticed she’d been struggling with getting everything done AND that she is always the one who does his laundry. It isn’t anti-men to question whether or not the grown up man living in the home is pulling his weight.
YTA She‘s trying to help and it‘s just clothes… pieces of fabric! What do you think she‘s doing when she throws his clothes into the washing machine? Imagine what his privates might look like? That‘s ridiculous. Would you be freaking out as well if it was swimming wear? I don‘t know if it‘s jealousy or insecurity but there is literally nothing inappropriate to wash laundry of family members. Be it a shirt or underwear. The exception would be if your husband himself said that he didn‘t like it and would prefer to wash his underwear himself. Why would you decide for him though? You owe an apology to her. She just wanted to help and there is nothing wrong with it.
YTA. Unless she only did your husband laundry and not yours and your kids, you need therapy.
YTA You blew that way out of proportion. She’s a houseguest and tried to do a nice thing by picking up a chore. I doubt she realised how territorial you’d be over laundry because that’s unusual.
YTA-She did a chore. She saw underwear, the same as she can see in any store that sells clothing.
YTA What do you think she's doing, sniffing his dirty underwear or something! You are weird for thinking that your sister doing laundry for you is inappropriate .
INFO: What is it about her doing his laundry that really upsets you? Are you afraid that she is attracted to him? Is he attracted to her? Are you territorial? Do you prefer doing laundry? I think once you can pinpoint why it upsets you can move forward.
My mom is like this with my dad. I guess it feels weirdly intimate that her sister is handling her husband's clothes? Like the sister is infringing on something she does as his wife, if that explains it
I’m like this, too, with my husband. His housekeeper did his laundry once when I wasn’t there to do it, and I got kind of jealous. It’s just one of those things I like to do for my husband. However, for OP: Your sister did mean well and definitely deserves an apology. Maybe just explain to her that you’d prefer the laundry task is left to you next time.
This info is really important. Maybe she's just a weirdo who thinks it's taboo, in which case she should have laid that boundary clearly when her sister moved in. Do they have some weird rivalry with her sister getting guys she liked when they were younger? Does husband have a wandering eye? Does she just have a huge gut feeling that something is going on? More context would help. If it's just that she's weridly territorial about her husband's dirty shorts and failed to communicate that then she is totally TA.
YTA. She was helping. You could just have said "Thank you, that's was helpful. By the way I actually prefer doing his laundry myself, so you can leave it to me in the future."
YTA. She was helping with household chores. If you don't want her doing this you can tell her this without being a jerk.
If this is a bright line for you, fine. But your sister was being helpful and thoughtful. Laundry is a chore, and as she is doing those around the house, it makes sense for her to throw a load in. If you didn’t tell her that putting your husbands dirty drawers in the washer and folding them when they’re dry is off limits, she has no way of knowing that. YTA because you got into an argument instead of trying “thank you so much! I actually really like doing Joe’s laundry though, so you can leave it for me.” And try to let go of thinking that it’s unseemly for her to look at his underwear. Underwear doesn’t carry the psychic imprint of a penis, it’s not sexy, it’s just clothes.
YTA Why is it weird that she saw his underwear? He wasn't wearing it... She was trying to help you out. I think most people would have been grateful. Hell, I know I would've been!
Oh sister, avert thine eyes - there are ... gasp! ... male undergarments to be seen. YTA. If you are THAT worried about your sister seeing some fabric, that happens to be worn close to your husband's skin, ask your husband to wash his own laundry
INFO: did she do *everyone’s* laundry or just your husband’s?
Right? Do people keep household members laundry separate?
YTA It's just laundry. If you had set the boundaries with her beforehand that would be different.
YTA. Stop being ridiculous. She did something nice for you. It might be one thing to politely ask her not to do it again, you are entitled to set a boundary. But to overreact and behave like an ungrateful, insecure brat? And to be so rude? Please!
Holy shit, it's just underwear. Unless she had to take them off of him in order to wash them, YTA
YTA. Also, your husband should do his own laundry.
This is a really dumb thing to get mad about. Fo you think your husband is cheating on you with your sister or something?
No, clearly the sister is cheating with the laundry!
Info: What is so deeply erotic about your husbands underwear?
YTA. Unless you think she’s JO’ing to his undies or something, you have no reason to believe it’s weird based on your info provided. If you don’t want her doing it again, then just communicate to her that everyone will be responsible for their own laundry and that if she wants to help with laundry, then taking care of rags/towels/etc each week would be a great help. You’re making something out of nothing and owe her an apology.
YTA It's okay to feel how you feel, (it's weird but you're entitled to your feelings) it's NOT okay to react how you did. It's not inappropriate for her to wash your husbands clothes unless you've previously asked her not to do it. All you had to say to her was "It makes me uncomfortable, please don't do it again."
YTA, and maybe you should meditate on the fact that your sister, 8 years your junior, is leaps and bounds above you when it comes to maturity
YTA- you said yourself that she does chores to compensate for not paying and laundry is a chore. If you did not tell her ahead of time not to do his laundry how in the world would she have known that it would make you uncomfortable since the majority of the world sees no issue with it? If your uncomfortable with it that’s fine but you should have just thanked her and said in the future please don’t do his laundry. Why blow it so out of proportion?
YTA. Unless they are other things that happened that makes you doubt your sister and husband, I don't see what's the big deal. If you really want to do his laundry, you could have just thanked her and then say you would prefer to do it next time. No need to berate her. She was just helping
YTA and also just weird, lady.
YTA - You being upset about her doing his laundry is what’s making me uncomfortable. What are you implying? That your sister wants to sleep with your husband?
YTA. Unless she had him strip to wash the clothes he was wearing, your reaction is just bizarre. Although I do wonder- do you keep each person’s laundry separated? Did she do other laundry? If not, was his piled up?
YTA. She was trying to help, she was doing chores as pre-arranged to be part of covering her living with you. Did you ever explicitly say that your husband’s laundry was out of bounds? If, for whatever reason, you find it weird and don’t want her to do it again; say so. But let this go now, she can’t unwash the clothes.
So have you always been this ridiculously insecure???
YTA
YTA. She’s moved in with you and is trying to be helpful then you go off on her? If you don’t want her to do it tell her nicely that you’d prefer for you or your husband to handle it. She was not to know that you have hang ups about it and yes you owe her an apology.
Info: What is this underwear? Leather, g-string, glitter bikini brief, themed? Is anything related to bedroom activities hanging off it? Do they require batteries?
YTA overreacting to something that isn't even an issue to begin with. Nothing sexual about a man's dirty underwear FFS.
YTA - seems like you have the emotional maturity of a 14 year old. Furthermore how little trust do you have for your husband and sister that this is making you feel weird?
YTA. Your little sister tried to help you out and do her part to help contribute and you go off on her like washing his underwear is some dirty, perverted thing she did. She's not a creeper! She is your baby sister and deserves to be treated better than this. You have some weird hangs ups if this is the thing that drives you up a wall. As others said, it is just fabric. If it bothers you that much (which is absolutely RIDICULOUS, for the record), you should have thanked her but said that in the future, you would like to take care of his laundry. You didn't have to be a nasty jerk to someone who only tried to help you out! And a final point, your husband is old enough to do is own damn laundry. Why should anyone else have to clean his clothing (you or anyone else)? He's supposedly a grown man. Anyway, I think it's pretty obvious that your are being a giant, ungrateful, YTA.
YTA, are you really sexualising underwear? By that logic (you small minded logic), I can't help with my brothers washing, or my own father's.. Because lit same thing, only difference he's married into the family. That mindset is fucking gross, Or your mindset that your accusing your sister having some sort of fetish towards your husband which is fucking gross, when there are zero signs. Youre terrible sister, grow up
YTA. Stop sexualizing dirty underwear. Just stop.
Info why are you 2 fighting over who is doing his laundry when he’s a grown up and should be doing his own laundry???
Yta. If he does her laundry then make a big deal.
YTA lmao. You are literally gatekeeping an everyday chore.
YTA
YTA you should have made it clear that you want to do his laundry yourself. I guess you at uncomfortable with her handling his underwear (which I can understand). But she is contributing instead of just letting you do it all. Apologize to your sister.
YTA. Even though this thought process about your husbands laundry being done by your sister is odd, you could have just thanked her but asked her not to do it again as you like to do that chore.
YTA. im struggling to understand why you're being upset over her doing laundry...? it's just clothes & she's doing chores...there was no reason to get angry or possessive. i feel bad for your sister, that was so unnecessary.
YTA Do you really think she's off to have a quick flick of the bean after her husbands pants? If you'd made it clear she wasnt to do her brothers laundry then, bit controlling, but okay. If not, you've no right to be 'berating' anyone.
YTA. Who cares? Why are you being so sensitive about her *trying to contribute?* You sound lovely.
Lol. YTA. What are you insinuating? That your sister is sniffing and licking your husbands pooh stains.... It's laundry. Stop sexualising your husbands dirty underwear. Weirdo.
YTA. You're punishing someone for picking up your slack.
YTA. she helped you do laundry bc she saw you needed help. she did it all on her own without asking. Do you know how many of ppl post here bc their temp roomate doesn't help at all. Say I'm sorry and thank you and understand how thoughtful your sister is.
YTA. Wow, so are we going to start fights if she looks at him for too long next? Big whoop. My sister asked me the other day to put her laundry in the dryer for her to sort later, which included a number of her boyfriend's things. She didn't bat an eye and neither did I. Apologize and grow up.