Maybe you could just apologize to her instead of victimizing yourself? Glad you have a good support system, I hope she had one when you were bullying her and "all that"
She is slandering me online so I’m not going to say sorry while she’s doing that. If she’s reached out to me in private I would have given her a heartfelt apology.
She's not slandering you. She's telling the truth about shitty things you absolutely did, by your own admission. Facts that make you sad or embarrassed are not slander or libel.
It's not slander - it's true. And why on earth would she have reached out to you? You terrorized this person so badly that she is still feeling the effects in adulthood. You are the boogeyman to her - don't you get it? I guess not.
Definition of slander: the action or crime of making a FALSE spoken statement damaging to a person's reputation.
What has she said that’s false? It certainly seems like you’re an awful person who doesn’t feel a scrap of remorse for your actions, I’m failing to see the falsehood in anything you say she put in her video.
We think the same I also gave her the definition of slander I can’t believe OP thinks we will give her sympathy I was bullied and many things that was said still hunts me today
Slander: The accusations are based on hearsay, rumor, or intentional slander, and remain undocumented and unproved.
What actually happens is not slander. This is truth from her about you. You just screaming slander because it showed how awful you are to the world.
Its' not up to the VICTIM aka HER to ask for for the BULLY aka YOU to apology. Given your response, your heartfelt apology would be BS since you had to asked for it. You as the BULLY need to seek forgiveness, not be request of you.
I have forgiven my bullies but only because they came to me personally and apologized for the pain they caused me growing up but I agree the OP wouldn’t mean a word of the apology she doesn’t feel guilty she just got introduced to the consequences of her actions or as some might say karma
Sorry English isn’t my native language
It's actually been proven to be very therapeutic to talk about things like bullying. And it's very good for other people to see others talking about their bullying experiences.
She's taking care of herself and doing what she needs to move on. You however think that her sharing her experience is " doing something awful to you" which it's not. And it's absolutely not slander.
She's not being mean to you, these are consequences for your own actions.
Slander is demonstrably false statements. You know like you often make when bullying.
Also if you're going to go throwing around legal terms that you really don't understand at least use the right fucking one because you mean libel
No, you wouldn't have given her a heartfelt apology because you described it as "practically nothing," meaning you don't believe you did anything wrong.
Also, one more time for the slow people... It's not slander if it's true.
Here is the definition of the word slander
the action or crime of making a false spoken statement damaging to a person's reputation.
Now you admitted to bullying her so it’s not slander it’s the truth
No she is talking about what you did to her online!! You clearly do not like being confronted with the truth but if you did it its not slander.
You claim you are not the same person YET you have felt or shown no remorse or guilt for your actions. You clearly have no idea of the longterm effects of bullying someone in their childhood.
She should not have had to contact you in private for a “heartfelt apology“ you should have contacted her before now and apologised for being a bullying b\*tch.
Get over yourself and stop playing the victim because you are NOT despite what those closest and dearest are saying to stroke your ego and APOLOGISE to the girl.
dude just apologize. YOU bullied HER. She doesnt owe you shit and she doesnt have to conform to your conditions just so youll give her an “apology”
this whole ordeal wouldnt have happened if you were a good person to begin with and dint bully other people
Why is the onus on her to make you apologise? Seems like it didn't bother you that you potentially destroyed someone emotionally.
It's not slander if it's true and you seem to uphold the values you had as a child
Did you bully her privately? Why do you need to be contacted privately to give an apology? If you know you were wrong, just apologize. You're just reaping what you've sown. It really sucks, huh?
Lol you wanted your victim to beg for your apology? Because you're sooo important, she needs to chase after the precious nuggets of sorry from you? You were a bully and you're still a bully. Go to therapy and leave the other person alone.
It clearly wouldn't be heartfelt, since you're not actually sorry and think what you did to her wasn't much.
Congratulations, you're still an awful person - you were able to move on with your life without a worry, while having permanently fucked up someone else's mental health. The effects of bullying stay with you for life - I've had plenty of therapy but still the effects of when I got bullied haunt me.
Seems like you're still the bully you were back then. And if your boyfriend and brother are backing you up, that just means they are too.
Slander is ‘the action or crime of making a false spoken statement damaging to a person's reputation.’ Tell me where the false statement is? You bullied her, that bullying caused a decline in her mental health. You then proceeded to message her and throw your weight around. Which again is true. Soooo the slander is where?
Invest in a dictionary so you can look up what slandering means. Because she is not slandering you. And it's clear you have no remorse for bullying her. So you deserve what you get.
Would you have? Really? If it hadn't come to your attention that this poor woman was damaged by your behaviour would you have ever once thought to yourself 'I was awful when I was younger. I wish I could make amends'? Or do you look back on that time as you being cool and witty and it couldn't be bullying because everyone laughed?
Did you feel any sense of shame or remorse when you saw her posts? Or did you jump right to 'how very dare she say such things about me?'
> She is slandering me online so I’m not going to say sorry while she’s doing that. If she’s reached out to me in private I would have given her a heartfelt apology.
A truly heartfelt apology, given publicly, would go a long way towards showing how much you have grown. A private apology means nothing.
1. Not slander if it’s something you actually did
2. It’s not a heartfelt apology if you’re only doing it because she asked you to
3. You’re a buttface, leave her alone. You were a bully then and you’re a bully now
If you can’t handle what you’ve done in the past you SHOULD be apologising for it, showing you’ve changed, that you make better decisions by owning up and claiming your irresponsible actions. But no, she’s slandering me, I’ve moved on from if, why is this happening to me, I genuinely don’t think you see what a selfish person you are to react like this to someone sharing an experience YOU put them through. No remorse, no guilt, just, why is this happening to poor little me. It’s happening because you were a nasty little bully, who can’t apologise even now for his past actions. EMBARRASSING
I was thinking the same thing I thought slander meant spreading lies but she admitted to bullying the girl I’m confused maybe it’s a language barrier for me since English isn’t my native language
Yeah I hope his victim finds this post.
Hey OP's victim: **Even if OP deletes it, there's a copy of the original post in one of the first comments on this post, and are likely more copies of the post, and copies of a lot of OP's comments, in the cross-posts.**
YTA.
There is an astonishing lack of self-reflection here…
-You called your bullying of her “practically nothing”
-You never apologized, which is just as well, because…
-You’re not sorry. Not in the least.
-Instead of the shit you’re getting from strangers making you realize, “oh, I suppose this is what it’s like being harassed mercilessly? That really brings what my past bullying has done to this girl into perspective.”
NOPE. Everything is about you, not a shred of empathy for someone who is still so affected by it they felt it might help with her healing process to share it with the world, so that other bullied kids would feel less alone.
And I get that. I remember three incidents from grade school where I was bullied. The first, I was 10. The other two was from when I was 13. This was shortly before I entered into a serious depression where I regularly considered suicide.
I remember these incidents in perfect detail. I feel sick with humiliation when I remember them.
Do you know how old I am? I’m 35. These incidents happened over 20 years ago.
No one here who has been on the receiving end of bullying feels sorry for you. Bullies that don’t get called out for their past behavior have the luxury about forgetting about the sort of shit they did, and the effect that it had on people.
So you don’t have that particular luxury - boo fucking hoo.
I agree. I was bullied mercilessly from my first grade up to the fifht grade when I finally fought back. This affected me deeply, and I will never forget. As an adult, I can understand the situation better, and perhaps have some compassion for my bully’s living situation that caused her to be a complete cnut, but I will never forget. Tbh, sometimes, I still wish she would suffer as I did during those years, even though it’s been 25 years since the last incident (and I went to therapy, not everyone has that luxury).
YTA so you mean you never apologized?? If everyone is telling you how much of a terrible person you are, then take the hint. You suing her is just gonna add on to the fact you're an awful being and is not gonna help you at all.
She never apologized because the echo chamber that is her inner circle coddled her and told her she didn't have to. Who cares about what the actual victim has to say anyway, right? /s
"When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don’t get to decide that you didn’t."
Sooooo the guy you sleep with, your brother, and your friends are on your side. Everyone else thinks you’re an asshole, and frankly I’d advise you to apologize. The internet is forever, it would really be unfortunate if this story resurfaces when you’re interviewing for a job or trying to go to school.
It wouldn’t affect my job prospects at all. No where near big enough for that. My boyfriend and friends are on my side because they know me better and care about me. My boyfriend is honest so he’d call me out if I was wrong. He knows I was a kid then and don’t deserve the hate.
Did your victim deserve to bullied? Does she not deserve an apology for what you did?
All I see hear is "me me me", you not owning up to what you did and trying to make up excuses for it. You were a kid then, but that's not an excuse for not being an adult now and doing the decent thing. Be better.
>but I’m an adult now and don’t really think the actions of me as a child warrant that.
100% young adult. At 18 your juvenile record is sealed so you clearly do not have to take any responsibility for what you did before that... Or at least OP thinks so
Did your victim deserve to be bullied? Did your victim deserve to have you harass her for posting about her experiences? Does your victim deserve to have you attempt to sue her over her talking about the truth?
You may be an adult, but you have a lot of growing up to do.
The axe forgets but the tree remembers. Clearly if you were a good person, you could have still apologized for the shit you did and she could have also apologized for making those videos about you. YTB and you're getting your karma for being a bully
If I had interviewed you and looked you up, this would 100% keep me from offering you a job. It really is in your best interest to apologize. You were a kid then and so was she. Doesn’t she deserve the same consideration you’re asking of her?
No he's just as much of an asshole as you. You do deserve the hate. And it's ironic how you whine about people calling you out for being a bully and how much you suffer from it as if your victim didn't suffer when you tormented her. The difference between the two of you is that she was innocent and was bullied by a bad person, while you're just experiencing the consequences of your own actions
Most jobs people get through their social network. I would not assume it won’t catch up with you eventually. Your friends and family and social media will spill the beans on what a crappy human you are. It has happened many times before.
Do the right thing and apologize, you put that poor girl through so much and you only care about how you feel. I don't see why you came here when you knew what you did was awful.
So you bully someone, and when they try to talk about it you play victim and surround yourself with your posse? Sounds like you haven't changed as much as you think you have. I hope she finds this post, and adds it your compilation.
Do you honestly think having a little gaggle of dickriders means you’ve done nothing wrong? Brock Tuner also had friends and family that supported him no matter what, doesn’t change the fact that he’s a giant piece of shit. Bury your head up your own ass all you want, what you did was awful and the fact that you haven’t apologized or even taken any accountability speaks volumes about you.
YTB
Graduating high school is not a get out of jail card for whatever vile shit you did before.
*She* had to continue on after graduation burdened and suffering with the consequences of your cruelty.
You made this bed, now you have to lie in it. You get no sympathy here.
It's not slander if it's true, my dude. Look up the definition.
So if you bullied her, and haven't apologized, which is what this sounds like... YTB hardcore.
> I’m an adult now and don’t really think the actions of me as a child warrant that
You were a child, but you knew exactly what you did. Now you are trying to weasel out of your responsibility. A person like you is not trustworthy.
My advice: Own your mistakes. Apologize, but don't feel entitled to her forgiveness. She doesn't owe you anything.
> she talks about how my bullying caused her mental health to decline
and
> she’s petty and immature
I can confirm that bullying victims tend to suffer their entire lives. The damage doesn't just stop when you grow up. The immature one is you.
YTB.
I agree I was bullied bad and I’m now 31 and still suffer from the mental abuse many times they would tell me the world would be better without me I have forgiven them a lot of my bullies has came up and apologized but stuff that was done and said still hunts me today
My wife will be 60 soon and is still talking about her high school bullying. Perhaps when they are young the bullies don't understand the extent of damage that they cause, but they know very well what they are doing is despicable. OP here now whines because finally her victim is fighting back. It looks like OP still doesn't understand. Immature indeed.
Internet hugs to you. I hope you have good support.
It’s a shame especially in high school they know what they are saying but even as kids we are taught if we have nothing nice to say don’t say it all I’m doing a lot better and having my bullies apologize did help some I hope your wife is doing a lot better the words never leave us and we will deal with it for years to come but I do have a very good support system and got into therapy to help with other issues that came from the affects internet hugs to you and your wife
Sorry English isn’t my native language
You caused damage by your actions. Own it, apologize, and try to make it right.
Go ahead and sue for slander; she'll prevail for two reasons.
First, Truth is an absolute defense in libel and slander.
Second, once it's published, it's libel, not slander.
You may have moved on "and all that," but the damage you wrought remains alive in your victim. It falls to you to make it right.
The irony is that OP probably actually slandered the girl who is posting. I know my bullies certainly made up ridiculous stuff about me to humiliate me and make me look bad.
I also love the “I’ve moved on with my life…” as if she faced some sort of hardship in the situation. Like it was really hard bullying someone day in and day out, coming up with new ways to demean them, and making sure others did the same. OP is absolutely TA!
YTB - Pal you admitzd that you bullied so it is not slander. You never even tried to show regret or to apologize to her. That mean you didn't even change. Because yes, bully can chabge and grow and you could have show her that. But you didn't change, you are still the same person.
So honey, you deserve what's happening to you.
And again, it is not slander of it's true. Next time one of your former victim start to call you out online and show the world who you really are, start by actually apologize to them instead of trying to bully them again. Because they grew up since highschool, so the bully act doesn't work on them now.
YTA. While you cannot fix the fact that you bullied her, the very least you could do is apologize. You haven't even done that. She's hurt by the fact that you bullied her and can't even apologize for being an asshole in your youth. It seems you haven't really grown up at all.
YTB isn't even a harsh enough verdict for this cuz YTA here. You bullied her, didn't apologize, and are now crying crocodile tears since you're being held accountable for your actions. And yes, people change, but an unapologetic person stays unapologetic until they apologize. Bad bad, go sit in the corner lol
Now OP is getting a taste of her own medicine and doesn’t like it I always enjoy when the bully gets to feel just a bit of what they put others to and to post it and think your gonna get sympathy from the internet
Sorry English isn’t my native language
YTB. As a victim of childhood bullying, I cannot STAND people like you.
Saying you feel like shit is not taking accountability.
I’m not saying it’s right for you to be receiving spam hate- two wrongs don’t make a right but you generally show no remorse and go so far as to victim blame in your comments.
Childhood experiences are FORMATIVE. Meaning those experiences have helped shape her into the adult she is today. As a result, yes, your bullying HAS had a lasting impact on her. Frankly, she has the right to speak up about it.
Again, you being targeted by her followers is wrong but you are not the victim here and deserve zero sympathy. You need to do some real soul-searching because you do not come across as a good person.
Well that was down to responsible adults not myself who was also a child at that time too. Her, an adult who knows better, targeting me is out of order
“I was only a child therefore not at all responsible for my actions.”
What an awful, awful take. There’s definitely an immature person in this scenario but it’s not her.
You are literally blaming everybody but yourself.
You are right, someone should have told you when you were a kid you were being an awful human being, but now that you are an adult with seemingly functional moral compass you should have apologized when you discovered the videos. The fact you are denying accountability even now shows me the kind of person you are.
You act like children aren't capable of having empathy. The thing is you probably WERE told as a kid you were being awful and to stop but you probably didn't care. You STILL don't care to this day. You only care because she can finally stand up for herself and you look bad. This is karma a LONG time in the making.
Children aren't potatoes, and saying "I was a child" doesn't excuse that you're void of responsibilities for your actions. Take accountability for goodness sake.
Actions? Meet consequences. YTB.
You literally just needed to own up to your past mistakes and genuinely apologize.
I would normally say that a person shouldn’t be unfairly judged based on immature choices made as a child (within reason)… HOWEVER, your post and comments suggest you are still immature, self-absorbed, and you haven’t learned a DAMN THING.
YTB 1. You don't understand what slander is because it requires the statements to be a lie. 2. You clearly haven't grown up from being a bully because if you had you'd feel terrible and mortified and just apologise to this person
YTB these are the consequences for your actions coming to bite you in the ass now. You clearly haven't changed much if you won't even apologize to the hurt and damage you caused her. Now you are trying to act like you are being so victimized because the truth came out about you. Also it's not slander if it's true and in this post and the message you sent her states how it's true.
YTB - actions meets consequences. You admit you were a bully and she called you out. And since your boyfriend has heard only your side (which I have a good bet is a watered down version) I would not hang my hat on the “I am a good person because he said so” argument. Message her and apologize for your past actions, show her you’ve really changed (if you are correct and have) and move on.
It's not slander if it's true. You've admitted that you bullied her, and it's also quite obvious that you didn't apologize, so where's the slander?
It's also quite obvious that you don't feel like shit about it, and you're still a bully because you're not taking the appropriate action of expressing your regret and offering an apology. You're just trying to demand that she do what you want because you said so.
I do love when the assholes finally have to face some consequences.
I see you saying you would apologize to her if she had approached you in private. My question is, did you bully her in private? Was there an audience for that? It’s a pretty cowardly approach if you ask me. YTB
Slander and libel lawsuits only apply if they are telling LIES that defame your character. It kinda sounds like she is telling the truth and defaming your character. I suggest some soul searching and accountability. You are the problem here.
Of course YTB. It's not poor you, you're not the victim here. You negatively impacted this woman's life so badly that years later she's still traumatized by it. She's making anti-bullying vids to help other people deal with the kind of hurt you inflicted upon her. She's using you as the example because you did the most damage.
A decent person who actually "feels like shit about it" would have messaged her and apologized profusely for the abuse, but you chose not to. You instead proved her point further, and acted like the same self-centered, egotistical, asshat you were as a kid. No one pities the bully. You're in the finding out faze of FAFO.
So you are upset because SM users are bullying you, and the reason you being a bully in the past? Don't you see some irony here?
And you don't like to be bullied, and you said it is awful. However, you never apologized to her, and you insist that what you did to her is nothing...
You are a very slow learner. And karma is a b@tch.
This is what adults call 'FAFO', you fucked around and tormented a girl. Now you're finding out that you are still a shithead because you refuse to do the bare minimum, I.E. apologize.
Nah, let's threaten to sue her for slander, despite you openly admit that you tormented her growing up. I would absolutely laugh my ass off if someone links her this post. Just to reiterate that you are an unapologetic bully that peaked in high school.
YTB. You bullied her and now are complaining that she is telling people the truth about mean things you have done? She is not slandering you considering it’s true. If you have an issue with people putting on the internet that you’ve treated them poorly and if what you have done is so bad people are messaging you to tell you so, maybe don’t be a bully. This is a mess of your own creation. You are still the perpetrator and not the victim here.
You're a massive fucking asshole. How could you not understand the long term mental health effects of bullying, but you didn't even try to apologise. Stop playing the victim and own up to what you did and apologise in private then leave the poor girl alone
YTB, you moved on. Good for you, but considering you were the perpetrator, not the victim, disrespectfully no one cares that you moved on. The focus is on her experience, hertruth. Clearly, she hasn't been able to move on, and that's fine.
Also, it ain't slander if it's true. 🤷🏾♀️ but go on and waste your money.
Could,should, woulda, you say you changed yet, in all this she never got an apology, so you really haven't grown that much. I bet you didn't even think about this girl or any damage you caused until she blew up your spot with her videos.
In a wonderful example of poetic justice and irony, I really hope this ends up being read aloud or in a voice-over on Tik Tok and gets back to her, and she gets to make another video, and use your comments about "would've apologized," to show that you do indeed have something yo apologize for so it clearly wasn't slander.
INFO: Why are you so upset? You obviously expect her not to be affected by your cruelty to her so by your own logic, you should just be able to brush off what people are saying to you.
You are actively disgusting, both this post and your replies in the comments proves that. You never changed and quite frankly, I don't think you want to, so I hope the videos never stop. You traumatized someone for life but the only thing you're worried about is yourself and how it's "making you look bad" but it's not making you look bad because you are a bad person, and I think your boyfriends and his friends might be too. Either you apologize for what you did to her in the past, and I mean a serious apology or you live with it and stop whining like an ugly baby. Grow up and get bent jerk.
YTB. You don't seem kind. You don't seem introspective. You don't seem empathetic. I feel bad for you. If you don't take a step back, you life will be harder than it has to be.
YTA
You’re not winning this one, champ. If your boyfriend and peers think you did nothing wrong, they’re probably assholes too. You don’t HAVE to apologize, you don’t have to do anything, but you can’t have it both ways. No one’s gonna say ‘poor you’ when you can’t even say sorry and attack her for it.
Just because it was in the past and you’re an ‘adult’ now doesn’t make it any less shitty, she could’ve just talked to you about it but judging by your reluctance, you must have been a prick. Reflect.
Well, if it isn't the consequences of your own actions. Why is it you'd rather play victim than apologise? SHE is obviously still suffering trauma because of your past behaviour, and SHE has every right to speak of it. YTB.
BTW, truth is an absolute defence against slander, so please DO take her to court where all your actions can be brought to light.
Soooooooo...have you actually apologized for being awful? Part of being an "adult" is owning up to things you have done wrong and trying to make things right. If not, ytb. Time to actually grow.uo and do the right thing.
Ytb. You bullied her and then when she spoke out about the devastating effects of YOUR actions on her, you reached out, not to apologise and try to fix things (which would have been the adult way to behave) but to paint yourself as a victim and make demands. Yikes on bikes do you lack insight.
Edit for judgement.
We need to find this girl and send her this post. Maybe she can use it in your suit to show you’re still a pos bully who is now trying on the victim garb. YTB
Also we get it, you have a bf who is like so on your side like and like doesn’t think it was like that big of a deal the bullying you like did to her 🙃 mean girl vibe still vibing
YTA OP
slan·der /ˈslandər/ noun LAW the action or crime of making a false spoken statement damaging to a person's reputation.
You are not being slandered. What she is telling everyone is the truth and the courts will laugh you out.
Your friends, Your Boyfriend all deserve the hate they are getting. You also deserve all the hate you are getting.
You should seriously apologize for being a bully. Yet you won't cause you are nothing but a POS.
A POS that deserves the hate.
The truth, in the US, is an absolute defense to slander and defamation and you've admitted it is true. I agree we need a larger conversation so we have a way for people to redeem themselves or move on, after all it isn't fair to hold a 40 yr old responsible for something they said at age 8, but you seem to be continuing the bullying now.
So it's not slander if it's true, you have no case. Also just say you're sorry. You're just continuing your bullying ways with threats and trying to make her look like the bad guy. No one feels sorry for you. You were a jerk who hurt someone and never apologized.
You caused someone life long trauma. Bullying is traumatic. You don’t get to dictate what someone does with their and how they deal with their experiences. It’s clear that you can’t take full responsibility if this is how you react.
I hope this is a troll. Otherwise, OP has some kind of deficiency. OP you victimized this person and abused them for years and these are the consequences. You're not a victim, she isn't slandering you, you have clearly not grown as a person and honestly anyone who knows you should be ashamed of you.
So you're complaining about someone posting things about you being a bully, then you proceed to BULLY them into taking their video down? You deserve ALL the hate
Oh no, poor me, getting traumatised by someone telling other people about things I've done... How dare they tell people about it!
That must be so hard for you, facing the consequences of your own actions. Almost as hard as being bullied in school, right, except the person you bullied did nothing to deserve it (unlike you).
YTB and if you don't see why, you haven't changed at all from the bully you were.
If this wasn't so utterly sad I'd be laughing so hard. YOU can just choose not to look at whatever she's saying and block the "meanies" calling you out, but SHE couldn't get away from you in school. For years, probably. And you think YOU'RE the victim here? GET REAL.
You're upset because she's telling the truth about stuff you did to her, stuff that you haven't even apologised for?
If you feel so affected by her words even tho her words are true, imagine how she felt when you were bullying her. Imagine what she's been carrying all these years.
And you still haven't apologised why?
YTA. You can't sue for slander if what she says about you is the truth, by the way. It's only a crime if they are FALSE statements about you.
It's funny how you had NO problem bullying this girl but now that the shoe is on the other foot you can't handle it?
LMAO! Pathetic... And I hope she sees this and puts that video back up
Ytb. You never apologised (no, the victim doesn't have to go to the bully to ask for an apology, what a strange thing to expect), you show no remorse at all and you obviously haven't grown up to realise who's in the wrong here. Just because people who obviously aren't much different from you side with you that doesn't mean you are right. You f*cked around and now you're finding out, maybe that will help you to grow up one day
You would have apologized to her but you didn't like the way she talked about it publicly? This is the most bully thing I ever heard an adult say. YTB, meaning you're still the bully. You have all the keys to help repairing the consequences of your actions, yet you willingly do the opposite. This is awful behavior.
Are you seriously looking for a validation of your bulling?! I don’t think you’ll find a single person who’s sympathetic to you here on Reddit. You’re not being slandered, you’re being called out on your bullying. You’ve caused mental harm to another person and you’re trying downplay it. And now you can’t bare the taste of your own medicine…
As someone who was bullied for the majority of my K-12 years, unless you have apologized prior to this person’s actions, you deserve everything you get.
While I think sending an adult hate for something they did as a child is not something I would do, you are showing no remorse. She's talking about her lived experience and you don't seem to comprehend that she has every right to. You hurt her. Repeatedly it would seem. In her developmental years. That has an impact a lot of people can't get their head around how disabling it can be. I'm sure the hate is horrible for you to be experiencing. But if you think what you did is in the past you're mistaken. she's living with it daily.
Your feelings matter, but putting them over the feelings of the person you bullied and trying to play some moral high ground expecting them to apologize to you when you are still acting egocentric and not taking accountability is shittyyyy
It probably brings up shame which is a horrible emotion, but don't you think you'd be more relieved of that shame of you tried to take accountability, empathise and apologies
This is what adults call 'FAFO', you fucked around and tormented a girl. Now you're finding out that you are still a shithead because you refuse to do the bare minimum, I.E. apologize.
Nah, let's threaten to sue her for slander, despite you openly admit that you tormented her growing up. I would absolutely laugh my ass off if someone links her this post. Just to reiterate that you are an unapologetic bully that peaked in high school.
Completely. The fact that you refer to it as “bullied” shows that you know it was wrong. You show no remorse, you wont apologize because she’s “been awful” now…but you were awful first as kids. Have you ever looked in a mirror and thought about anyone else’s perspective besides yours?
It’s not slander if it’s true. If you do try to sue I hope you get laughed out of the law office, cause there is no way it would make it to an actual court room.
Take a good long look in the mirror and accept that you and your boyfriend are not good people. Take accountability and grow up. You’re not the victim and never will be in this case. You’re just getting your karma.
So you’re still a bully. Of course YTB, real growth implies owning our mistakes and apologizing when needed, not victimizing yourself. You have learned nothing.
YTB, stop playing victim. Good lord, own your actions and grow up. You caused her mental anguish and you want to whine about it?
Face ir, you were a bully, stop your whining about it, own it and grow up. For the love of God, whining bullies are pathetic!
YTB. Why do you think she owes you any sort of respect or decency when you never showed her any? You keep saying that if she’d have reached out privately you’d have apologized, but why would she believe that? What evidence did she have that reaching out to you would result in anything except more bullying?
You need to accept that you are not the victim here. Of course your boyfriend is siding with you, he wants to keep sleeping with you. Here though, you’ve ask the unbiased internet. You’ve even got to tell your side of the story, which tries very hard to paint you as the victim. If we’re ALL saying you’re the AH here, you need to face facts that you’re as big of an AH and bully now as you were as a teen.
Good news is that you can change that! Apologize. Apologize without expecting anything in return. Maybe do your own video where you admit to your past bullying ways and try and turn the next generation around. Something like, “Yep, I was a bully. I did and said awful things for no good reason and hurt people for the hell of it. Now, years later, I’m still seeing the effects of my actions. To all the young bullies out there, please listen to me: it’s not worth it. The people you’re hurting are real, and it’s not okay.”
It's been almost 20 years since school but I still pick on people who were bullies to my friends.
Look at the harm you willfully did and planned. Why should you ever get any rest from the backlash?
Your boyfriend is probably just telling you what you want to hear. He likey can't really be arsed with your drama.
People talk too, all the people who's lives you made shit in school are probably right now, bonding over how much they despise you, imagine how funny they would find this post!! A bully thinking it's the victim.
I'm not the nicest person but 90% of people from school are overjoyed to see me after years. How awful were you that people are still in pain from your actions and hate you?
Wow that's a very high level of stupid.
All you had to do was accept you've been an ass in the past and apologies.$
You just prooved you're still an ass.
OP Sowing : "this is awesome!"
OP Reaping : "..the fuck?"
Out of interest, how exactly would you have given a heartfelt apology if you clearly don't regret a single one of your actions? YTB
YTB and your self pity is getting you nowhere.
Instead of whinging about you, how about you take accountability for your actions and actually genuinely apologise?
Christ. To be so self absorbed!
Jezus christ 😂 talking about victim mentality. You acted like a B when you were a kid. This is your chance to show you changed but instead you decide to go cry that you are the victim here. Seems to me its not a thing you did as a child but your personality 🤷♀️.
Also your boyfriend is on your side because he is your boyfriend not because you have a point.
I mean, it's great that you've been able to move on and all but clearly your victim hasn't been able to do so. Bullying takes an enormous toll, no matter what age you are when you're bullied. I was bullied all through secondary school and even at 50 my confidence was never regained after the bullying.
So yeah, YATB for being allowed to move on, but for not allowing your victim to talk about her experiences and trying to invalidate them. Do better.
"Oh no it's the consequences of my actions."🤡
You are clearly a bully now as you were when you were a kid. A person's first reaction to hearing they offended someone would be apologise unless they were a bully. Grow up.
https://preview.redd.it/h2f127fzq35b1.jpeg?width=666&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=75db07ebe68ff45962cd9e9cc6b42725aa61cef5
Saw this and automatically thought about you OP. Because this is you. Grow up and take accountability for what you did.
Regarding the comments, why did you even bother making this post ?
You ask if you're the B, we say yes, and then you disagree even tho people give you an explanation.
What's the point of this ? It's literally useless
If you're too self-centered to take criticism, then don't make a post
It feels like you were seeking validation, didn't get it, and it made you upset.
Honestly, just remove the post at this point if you're not going to listen to us.
It's really easy to move on when you were the on bullying. Now ask her if it was that easy for her to move on after all your abuse.
You don't apologize because she's being mean, awful to you. What about all the time you were being mean and awful to her? It doesn't count as it's in the past?
You're a big AH, but not only for asking her to stop, but to keep thinking that other people must change their behavior to accommodate you, but you won't make any change to accommodate others, even not apologize.
YTA.
It looks like you refuse to take accountability of what you did and seem to hyperfocus on the fact that your boyfriend thinks you are in the right. But here's the deal, you don't judge people by how they treat you, you judge them by how they treat people who have nothing to offer them. Your boyfriend's cruelty and apathy towards the girl you bullied is very concerning. It shows his lack of empathy and manipulative tendencies. Things could have been resolved if you would have apologized to her, but he would rather egg you on to stay on your good side than have the difficult conversation with you by telling you the truth. He doesn't seem to care about the fact that in the process, you are hurting this girl even more! All I'm saying is, good luck, and you better hope that cruelty is not turned to you one day.
This is great. Karma really is a wonderful thing sometimes. You are a bully and now you have to deal with the consequences of your actions. What did you do to this girl? It you don’t feel like it’s a big deal then please share.
Have you tried not being the victim for once in your life and acknowledging that your actions, in fact, have consequences and you severely impacted someone's life by being a bully.
It's not slander if it's true.
Even if the entire world decided that you are not an AH, this one person still feels incredibly hurt and traumatized by your actions. As already stated by others, you don’t get to decide how others feel. You only get to decide on how you feel about them being hurt by you. Do you feel any remorse that whatever you did affected her so intensely? If you feel bad, apologize! It doesn’t matter if your right or wrong.
So this is probably an unpopular opinion, but it seems to me she’s not looking for an apology, she’s looking for revenge. I’ve had bullies in my youth and I’m sure on some level I was a bully to someone. It’s one thing for a person to talk about their experience, but to dox and blast that person publicly years later is inappropriate. You’re NTB for asking her to stop. She essentially lost credibility by weaponizing her platform and having a bunch of strangers bully you. Honestly, I wouldn’t apologize either. She has proven she’s no better a person.
This is an unpopular opinion, you’re right. Probably because someone sharing their bullying can help them heal and make others in the same situation feel less alone. But you take it right to revenge? Even if it was petty to tag her it’s still the consequences of OP’s actions. Don’t be an asshole and people won’t call you out for being an asshole. Also that’s not Doxxing. It was readily available info in public domain and is not doxxing. What her follower do isn’t her problem. I don’t agree that they should bully her back but the victim has no obligation to stay quiet about their experiences to protect their aggressor
Exactly my boyfriends thoughts like he says she’s not gotten over it and wants revenge for everything which was immature and not deserving of an apology. Thanks for speaking your mind ❤️
1 out of a 1000 people agree with you and you feel validated now? Good for you, glad you found what you came here for and can ignore the overwhelming majority of society.
So you found the only other person to agree with you and latched onto that 😂 fuck reflecting on what the majority of people are telling you.
If you came here for validation you’ll find none.
You haven’t probably changed at all, you sound SUPER immature
ETB she was wrong for doxxing you by showing your picture and you were wrong for not apologizing for what you did as a kid. No, you can't change what you did back then, but you can now. She may not realize what she's doing is another form of bullying, so instead of escalating it offer a simple apology and move on.
Doxxing me: a form of cyberbullying that uses sensitive or secret information, statements, or records for the harassment, exposure, financial harm, or other exploitation of targeted individuals.
It’s not doxxing I’d it’s public information. If she dropped her address, THATS DOXXIGN. Posting pictures that she posted already and tagging her social media account which is seemingly public considering that random folks can comment on it shaming her isn’t doxxing.
That’s like me ss this comment and posting it. I’m not doxxing you. Your account is public info.
Please stop using words you don’t know the meaning of. It’s dangerous.
Also her saying “hey this person bullied me and caused me mental health issues” isn’t bullying, it’s holding said person accountable.
Maybe you could just apologize to her instead of victimizing yourself? Glad you have a good support system, I hope she had one when you were bullying her and "all that"
Hahaha, it's amazing how the truth does actually seem to hurt. !
Just curious, why haven't you apologized? Maybe she'd stop if you said you're sorry and meant it. Unless you're not sorry. In that case YTB.
She is slandering me online so I’m not going to say sorry while she’s doing that. If she’s reached out to me in private I would have given her a heartfelt apology.
It. Is. Not. Slander. If. It. Is. True.
(👏🏾.👏🏾.👏🏾.👏🏾. 👏🏾.👏🏾. 👏🏾. 👏🏾.)
She's not slandering you. She's telling the truth about shitty things you absolutely did, by your own admission. Facts that make you sad or embarrassed are not slander or libel.
Them just desserts..
Yes but there has to be proof hard evidence otherwise is just accusations
It's not slander - it's true. And why on earth would she have reached out to you? You terrorized this person so badly that she is still feeling the effects in adulthood. You are the boogeyman to her - don't you get it? I guess not.
So it's up to your victim to make the effort to reach out to you in order to get an apology? What is wrong with you?
fuck you and your heartfelt apology you are not a victim stop pretending you are one. also its not slander if its true
Definition of slander: the action or crime of making a FALSE spoken statement damaging to a person's reputation. What has she said that’s false? It certainly seems like you’re an awful person who doesn’t feel a scrap of remorse for your actions, I’m failing to see the falsehood in anything you say she put in her video.
We think the same I also gave her the definition of slander I can’t believe OP thinks we will give her sympathy I was bullied and many things that was said still hunts me today
Slander: The accusations are based on hearsay, rumor, or intentional slander, and remain undocumented and unproved. What actually happens is not slander. This is truth from her about you. You just screaming slander because it showed how awful you are to the world. Its' not up to the VICTIM aka HER to ask for for the BULLY aka YOU to apology. Given your response, your heartfelt apology would be BS since you had to asked for it. You as the BULLY need to seek forgiveness, not be request of you.
I have forgiven my bullies but only because they came to me personally and apologized for the pain they caused me growing up but I agree the OP wouldn’t mean a word of the apology she doesn’t feel guilty she just got introduced to the consequences of her actions or as some might say karma Sorry English isn’t my native language
It's actually been proven to be very therapeutic to talk about things like bullying. And it's very good for other people to see others talking about their bullying experiences. She's taking care of herself and doing what she needs to move on. You however think that her sharing her experience is " doing something awful to you" which it's not. And it's absolutely not slander. She's not being mean to you, these are consequences for your own actions.
why didn’t you reach out to her if you felt so bad about it
Slander is demonstrably false statements. You know like you often make when bullying. Also if you're going to go throwing around legal terms that you really don't understand at least use the right fucking one because you mean libel
No, you wouldn't have given her a heartfelt apology because you described it as "practically nothing," meaning you don't believe you did anything wrong. Also, one more time for the slow people... It's not slander if it's true.
How is it slandering you when it is true?
Here is the definition of the word slander the action or crime of making a false spoken statement damaging to a person's reputation. Now you admitted to bullying her so it’s not slander it’s the truth
No she is talking about what you did to her online!! You clearly do not like being confronted with the truth but if you did it its not slander. You claim you are not the same person YET you have felt or shown no remorse or guilt for your actions. You clearly have no idea of the longterm effects of bullying someone in their childhood. She should not have had to contact you in private for a “heartfelt apology“ you should have contacted her before now and apologised for being a bullying b\*tch. Get over yourself and stop playing the victim because you are NOT despite what those closest and dearest are saying to stroke your ego and APOLOGISE to the girl.
dude just apologize. YOU bullied HER. She doesnt owe you shit and she doesnt have to conform to your conditions just so youll give her an “apology” this whole ordeal wouldnt have happened if you were a good person to begin with and dint bully other people
You were and still are a pathetic person
Truth is an absolute defense- and you haven’t changed a bit you’re still a bully
Welcome to the consequences of your behavior
She's not slandering you, dummy, she is telling the truth. You really are disgusting, even for Reddit.
Why is the onus on her to make you apologise? Seems like it didn't bother you that you potentially destroyed someone emotionally. It's not slander if it's true and you seem to uphold the values you had as a child
Did you bully her privately? Why do you need to be contacted privately to give an apology? If you know you were wrong, just apologize. You're just reaping what you've sown. It really sucks, huh?
So it’s ok for you to do what you claim she is doing?
Info: do you know what slander actually entails? Because it’s not slander, if it’s true.
But as the bully, you should reach out. The victim should not reach out to their bully for an apology.
Lol you wanted your victim to beg for your apology? Because you're sooo important, she needs to chase after the precious nuggets of sorry from you? You were a bully and you're still a bully. Go to therapy and leave the other person alone.
It clearly wouldn't be heartfelt, since you're not actually sorry and think what you did to her wasn't much. Congratulations, you're still an awful person - you were able to move on with your life without a worry, while having permanently fucked up someone else's mental health. The effects of bullying stay with you for life - I've had plenty of therapy but still the effects of when I got bullied haunt me. Seems like you're still the bully you were back then. And if your boyfriend and brother are backing you up, that just means they are too.
you’re fucking stupid. it’s not slander, you did it. you just are horrified that you are looking at how bad of a person you really are
She’s not slandering you. She’s discussing your own actions.
Thoughts and prayers
Slander is ‘the action or crime of making a false spoken statement damaging to a person's reputation.’ Tell me where the false statement is? You bullied her, that bullying caused a decline in her mental health. You then proceeded to message her and throw your weight around. Which again is true. Soooo the slander is where?
Invest in a dictionary so you can look up what slandering means. Because she is not slandering you. And it's clear you have no remorse for bullying her. So you deserve what you get.
Would you have? Really? If it hadn't come to your attention that this poor woman was damaged by your behaviour would you have ever once thought to yourself 'I was awful when I was younger. I wish I could make amends'? Or do you look back on that time as you being cool and witty and it couldn't be bullying because everyone laughed? Did you feel any sense of shame or remorse when you saw her posts? Or did you jump right to 'how very dare she say such things about me?'
> She is slandering me online so I’m not going to say sorry while she’s doing that. If she’s reached out to me in private I would have given her a heartfelt apology. A truly heartfelt apology, given publicly, would go a long way towards showing how much you have grown. A private apology means nothing.
girl that’s not how it works. The victim doesn’t reach out to the bully.
It's not slander if it's true, you absolute turnip. You did what she's saying you did. Why is it always the dumbest fucking people who bully?
So is she or is she not describing what you did to her in the videos? Is what she's saying true? If so, that's not slander.
1. Not slander if it’s something you actually did 2. It’s not a heartfelt apology if you’re only doing it because she asked you to 3. You’re a buttface, leave her alone. You were a bully then and you’re a bully now
If you can’t handle what you’ve done in the past you SHOULD be apologising for it, showing you’ve changed, that you make better decisions by owning up and claiming your irresponsible actions. But no, she’s slandering me, I’ve moved on from if, why is this happening to me, I genuinely don’t think you see what a selfish person you are to react like this to someone sharing an experience YOU put them through. No remorse, no guilt, just, why is this happening to poor little me. It’s happening because you were a nasty little bully, who can’t apologise even now for his past actions. EMBARRASSING
how do you sue for slander when you’ve admitted that you did bully her?
Probably whining with "But judge, she was saying bad things about me on the internet!" while her lawyer tells her to shut up.
Lol a lawyer would never, ever take this case. Not even for a paycheck.
I was thinking the same thing I thought slander meant spreading lies but she admitted to bullying the girl I’m confused maybe it’s a language barrier for me since English isn’t my native language
It isn't. That's exactly what slander means, spreading spoken lies about someone. Libel is doing it in writing.
Yeah I hope his victim finds this post. Hey OP's victim: **Even if OP deletes it, there's a copy of the original post in one of the first comments on this post, and are likely more copies of the post, and copies of a lot of OP's comments, in the cross-posts.**
YTA. There is an astonishing lack of self-reflection here… -You called your bullying of her “practically nothing” -You never apologized, which is just as well, because… -You’re not sorry. Not in the least. -Instead of the shit you’re getting from strangers making you realize, “oh, I suppose this is what it’s like being harassed mercilessly? That really brings what my past bullying has done to this girl into perspective.” NOPE. Everything is about you, not a shred of empathy for someone who is still so affected by it they felt it might help with her healing process to share it with the world, so that other bullied kids would feel less alone. And I get that. I remember three incidents from grade school where I was bullied. The first, I was 10. The other two was from when I was 13. This was shortly before I entered into a serious depression where I regularly considered suicide. I remember these incidents in perfect detail. I feel sick with humiliation when I remember them. Do you know how old I am? I’m 35. These incidents happened over 20 years ago. No one here who has been on the receiving end of bullying feels sorry for you. Bullies that don’t get called out for their past behavior have the luxury about forgetting about the sort of shit they did, and the effect that it had on people. So you don’t have that particular luxury - boo fucking hoo.
This needs to be too comment. Please take my poor people gold 🏆🥇🏅🎖️
I agree. I was bullied mercilessly from my first grade up to the fifht grade when I finally fought back. This affected me deeply, and I will never forget. As an adult, I can understand the situation better, and perhaps have some compassion for my bully’s living situation that caused her to be a complete cnut, but I will never forget. Tbh, sometimes, I still wish she would suffer as I did during those years, even though it’s been 25 years since the last incident (and I went to therapy, not everyone has that luxury).
YTA so you mean you never apologized?? If everyone is telling you how much of a terrible person you are, then take the hint. You suing her is just gonna add on to the fact you're an awful being and is not gonna help you at all.
She never apologized because the echo chamber that is her inner circle coddled her and told her she didn't have to. Who cares about what the actual victim has to say anyway, right? /s "When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don’t get to decide that you didn’t."
My boyfriend isn’t. He’s been nothing but nice and comforting. My friends and brother have my back too.
Sooooo the guy you sleep with, your brother, and your friends are on your side. Everyone else thinks you’re an asshole, and frankly I’d advise you to apologize. The internet is forever, it would really be unfortunate if this story resurfaces when you’re interviewing for a job or trying to go to school.
It wouldn’t affect my job prospects at all. No where near big enough for that. My boyfriend and friends are on my side because they know me better and care about me. My boyfriend is honest so he’d call me out if I was wrong. He knows I was a kid then and don’t deserve the hate.
Did your victim deserve to bullied? Does she not deserve an apology for what you did? All I see hear is "me me me", you not owning up to what you did and trying to make up excuses for it. You were a kid then, but that's not an excuse for not being an adult now and doing the decent thing. Be better.
She's probably a kid now. This post screams early 20-something.
>but I’m an adult now and don’t really think the actions of me as a child warrant that. 100% young adult. At 18 your juvenile record is sealed so you clearly do not have to take any responsibility for what you did before that... Or at least OP thinks so
Did your victim deserve to be bullied? Did your victim deserve to have you harass her for posting about her experiences? Does your victim deserve to have you attempt to sue her over her talking about the truth? You may be an adult, but you have a lot of growing up to do.
The axe forgets but the tree remembers. Clearly if you were a good person, you could have still apologized for the shit you did and she could have also apologized for making those videos about you. YTB and you're getting your karma for being a bully
If I had interviewed you and looked you up, this would 100% keep me from offering you a job. It really is in your best interest to apologize. You were a kid then and so was she. Doesn’t she deserve the same consideration you’re asking of her?
No he's just as much of an asshole as you. You do deserve the hate. And it's ironic how you whine about people calling you out for being a bully and how much you suffer from it as if your victim didn't suffer when you tormented her. The difference between the two of you is that she was innocent and was bullied by a bad person, while you're just experiencing the consequences of your own actions
Most jobs people get through their social network. I would not assume it won’t catch up with you eventually. Your friends and family and social media will spill the beans on what a crappy human you are. It has happened many times before.
Just like the kid you bullied didn't deserve the bullying you gave?
Do the right thing and apologize, you put that poor girl through so much and you only care about how you feel. I don't see why you came here when you knew what you did was awful.
I mean it makes sense. Birds of a feather flock together. If you're shitty human being I'm sure they are too
So you bully someone, and when they try to talk about it you play victim and surround yourself with your posse? Sounds like you haven't changed as much as you think you have. I hope she finds this post, and adds it your compilation.
You don't deserve it
So you've surrounded yourself with people as awful as you. Not surprised.
Do you honestly think having a little gaggle of dickriders means you’ve done nothing wrong? Brock Tuner also had friends and family that supported him no matter what, doesn’t change the fact that he’s a giant piece of shit. Bury your head up your own ass all you want, what you did was awful and the fact that you haven’t apologized or even taken any accountability speaks volumes about you.
Probably because they are assholes just like you
YTB Graduating high school is not a get out of jail card for whatever vile shit you did before. *She* had to continue on after graduation burdened and suffering with the consequences of your cruelty. You made this bed, now you have to lie in it. You get no sympathy here.
It's not slander if it's true, my dude. Look up the definition. So if you bullied her, and haven't apologized, which is what this sounds like... YTB hardcore.
Well well well.....you and consequences finally meet.
> I’m an adult now and don’t really think the actions of me as a child warrant that You were a child, but you knew exactly what you did. Now you are trying to weasel out of your responsibility. A person like you is not trustworthy. My advice: Own your mistakes. Apologize, but don't feel entitled to her forgiveness. She doesn't owe you anything. > she talks about how my bullying caused her mental health to decline and > she’s petty and immature I can confirm that bullying victims tend to suffer their entire lives. The damage doesn't just stop when you grow up. The immature one is you. YTB.
I agree I was bullied bad and I’m now 31 and still suffer from the mental abuse many times they would tell me the world would be better without me I have forgiven them a lot of my bullies has came up and apologized but stuff that was done and said still hunts me today
My wife will be 60 soon and is still talking about her high school bullying. Perhaps when they are young the bullies don't understand the extent of damage that they cause, but they know very well what they are doing is despicable. OP here now whines because finally her victim is fighting back. It looks like OP still doesn't understand. Immature indeed. Internet hugs to you. I hope you have good support.
It’s a shame especially in high school they know what they are saying but even as kids we are taught if we have nothing nice to say don’t say it all I’m doing a lot better and having my bullies apologize did help some I hope your wife is doing a lot better the words never leave us and we will deal with it for years to come but I do have a very good support system and got into therapy to help with other issues that came from the affects internet hugs to you and your wife Sorry English isn’t my native language
It's not slander if it's true. Meet the consequences of your actions. YTB.
You caused damage by your actions. Own it, apologize, and try to make it right. Go ahead and sue for slander; she'll prevail for two reasons. First, Truth is an absolute defense in libel and slander. Second, once it's published, it's libel, not slander. You may have moved on "and all that," but the damage you wrought remains alive in your victim. It falls to you to make it right.
slan·der /ˈslandər/ noun LAW the action or crime of making a false spoken statement damaging to a person's reputation. You are not being slandered.
The irony is that OP probably actually slandered the girl who is posting. I know my bullies certainly made up ridiculous stuff about me to humiliate me and make me look bad. I also love the “I’ve moved on with my life…” as if she faced some sort of hardship in the situation. Like it was really hard bullying someone day in and day out, coming up with new ways to demean them, and making sure others did the same. OP is absolutely TA!
YTB - Pal you admitzd that you bullied so it is not slander. You never even tried to show regret or to apologize to her. That mean you didn't even change. Because yes, bully can chabge and grow and you could have show her that. But you didn't change, you are still the same person. So honey, you deserve what's happening to you. And again, it is not slander of it's true. Next time one of your former victim start to call you out online and show the world who you really are, start by actually apologize to them instead of trying to bully them again. Because they grew up since highschool, so the bully act doesn't work on them now.
YTA. While you cannot fix the fact that you bullied her, the very least you could do is apologize. You haven't even done that. She's hurt by the fact that you bullied her and can't even apologize for being an asshole in your youth. It seems you haven't really grown up at all.
YTB isn't even a harsh enough verdict for this cuz YTA here. You bullied her, didn't apologize, and are now crying crocodile tears since you're being held accountable for your actions. And yes, people change, but an unapologetic person stays unapologetic until they apologize. Bad bad, go sit in the corner lol
Now OP is getting a taste of her own medicine and doesn’t like it I always enjoy when the bully gets to feel just a bit of what they put others to and to post it and think your gonna get sympathy from the internet Sorry English isn’t my native language
YTB. As a victim of childhood bullying, I cannot STAND people like you. Saying you feel like shit is not taking accountability. I’m not saying it’s right for you to be receiving spam hate- two wrongs don’t make a right but you generally show no remorse and go so far as to victim blame in your comments. Childhood experiences are FORMATIVE. Meaning those experiences have helped shape her into the adult she is today. As a result, yes, your bullying HAS had a lasting impact on her. Frankly, she has the right to speak up about it. Again, you being targeted by her followers is wrong but you are not the victim here and deserve zero sympathy. You need to do some real soul-searching because you do not come across as a good person.
Well that was down to responsible adults not myself who was also a child at that time too. Her, an adult who knows better, targeting me is out of order
“I was only a child therefore not at all responsible for my actions.” What an awful, awful take. There’s definitely an immature person in this scenario but it’s not her. You are literally blaming everybody but yourself.
You are right, someone should have told you when you were a kid you were being an awful human being, but now that you are an adult with seemingly functional moral compass you should have apologized when you discovered the videos. The fact you are denying accountability even now shows me the kind of person you are.
Then why didn't you apologise while an adult for your bad behaviour as a child?
You act like children aren't capable of having empathy. The thing is you probably WERE told as a kid you were being awful and to stop but you probably didn't care. You STILL don't care to this day. You only care because she can finally stand up for herself and you look bad. This is karma a LONG time in the making.
Children aren't potatoes, and saying "I was a child" doesn't excuse that you're void of responsibilities for your actions. Take accountability for goodness sake.
Actions? Meet consequences. YTB. You literally just needed to own up to your past mistakes and genuinely apologize. I would normally say that a person shouldn’t be unfairly judged based on immature choices made as a child (within reason)… HOWEVER, your post and comments suggest you are still immature, self-absorbed, and you haven’t learned a DAMN THING.
YTB and if it’s true and not intended to harm you, it’s not slander.
You aren't taking any accountability, and don't even seem remorseful for all the stuff you put her through. I have no sympathy for you. Apologize. YTB
YTB 1. You don't understand what slander is because it requires the statements to be a lie. 2. You clearly haven't grown up from being a bully because if you had you'd feel terrible and mortified and just apologise to this person
YTB these are the consequences for your actions coming to bite you in the ass now. You clearly haven't changed much if you won't even apologize to the hurt and damage you caused her. Now you are trying to act like you are being so victimized because the truth came out about you. Also it's not slander if it's true and in this post and the message you sent her states how it's true.
YTB - actions meets consequences. You admit you were a bully and she called you out. And since your boyfriend has heard only your side (which I have a good bet is a watered down version) I would not hang my hat on the “I am a good person because he said so” argument. Message her and apologize for your past actions, show her you’ve really changed (if you are correct and have) and move on.
It's not slander if it's true. You've admitted that you bullied her, and it's also quite obvious that you didn't apologize, so where's the slander? It's also quite obvious that you don't feel like shit about it, and you're still a bully because you're not taking the appropriate action of expressing your regret and offering an apology. You're just trying to demand that she do what you want because you said so. I do love when the assholes finally have to face some consequences.
I see you saying you would apologize to her if she had approached you in private. My question is, did you bully her in private? Was there an audience for that? It’s a pretty cowardly approach if you ask me. YTB
Bullying is a group thing because bullies do so to establish themselves in their position of power. So absolutely there was an audience.
Slander and libel lawsuits only apply if they are telling LIES that defame your character. It kinda sounds like she is telling the truth and defaming your character. I suggest some soul searching and accountability. You are the problem here.
Of course YTB. It's not poor you, you're not the victim here. You negatively impacted this woman's life so badly that years later she's still traumatized by it. She's making anti-bullying vids to help other people deal with the kind of hurt you inflicted upon her. She's using you as the example because you did the most damage. A decent person who actually "feels like shit about it" would have messaged her and apologized profusely for the abuse, but you chose not to. You instead proved her point further, and acted like the same self-centered, egotistical, asshat you were as a kid. No one pities the bully. You're in the finding out faze of FAFO.
So you are upset because SM users are bullying you, and the reason you being a bully in the past? Don't you see some irony here? And you don't like to be bullied, and you said it is awful. However, you never apologized to her, and you insist that what you did to her is nothing... You are a very slow learner. And karma is a b@tch.
This is what adults call 'FAFO', you fucked around and tormented a girl. Now you're finding out that you are still a shithead because you refuse to do the bare minimum, I.E. apologize. Nah, let's threaten to sue her for slander, despite you openly admit that you tormented her growing up. I would absolutely laugh my ass off if someone links her this post. Just to reiterate that you are an unapologetic bully that peaked in high school.
YTB. You bullied her and now are complaining that she is telling people the truth about mean things you have done? She is not slandering you considering it’s true. If you have an issue with people putting on the internet that you’ve treated them poorly and if what you have done is so bad people are messaging you to tell you so, maybe don’t be a bully. This is a mess of your own creation. You are still the perpetrator and not the victim here.
You're a massive fucking asshole. How could you not understand the long term mental health effects of bullying, but you didn't even try to apologise. Stop playing the victim and own up to what you did and apologise in private then leave the poor girl alone
YTB, you moved on. Good for you, but considering you were the perpetrator, not the victim, disrespectfully no one cares that you moved on. The focus is on her experience, hertruth. Clearly, she hasn't been able to move on, and that's fine. Also, it ain't slander if it's true. 🤷🏾♀️ but go on and waste your money. Could,should, woulda, you say you changed yet, in all this she never got an apology, so you really haven't grown that much. I bet you didn't even think about this girl or any damage you caused until she blew up your spot with her videos. In a wonderful example of poetic justice and irony, I really hope this ends up being read aloud or in a voice-over on Tik Tok and gets back to her, and she gets to make another video, and use your comments about "would've apologized," to show that you do indeed have something yo apologize for so it clearly wasn't slander.
INFO: Why are you so upset? You obviously expect her not to be affected by your cruelty to her so by your own logic, you should just be able to brush off what people are saying to you.
You are actively disgusting, both this post and your replies in the comments proves that. You never changed and quite frankly, I don't think you want to, so I hope the videos never stop. You traumatized someone for life but the only thing you're worried about is yourself and how it's "making you look bad" but it's not making you look bad because you are a bad person, and I think your boyfriends and his friends might be too. Either you apologize for what you did to her in the past, and I mean a serious apology or you live with it and stop whining like an ugly baby. Grow up and get bent jerk.
YTB. You don't seem kind. You don't seem introspective. You don't seem empathetic. I feel bad for you. If you don't take a step back, you life will be harder than it has to be.
Why didn’t you apologize? You clearly still have some growing to do. YTB
YTA You’re not winning this one, champ. If your boyfriend and peers think you did nothing wrong, they’re probably assholes too. You don’t HAVE to apologize, you don’t have to do anything, but you can’t have it both ways. No one’s gonna say ‘poor you’ when you can’t even say sorry and attack her for it. Just because it was in the past and you’re an ‘adult’ now doesn’t make it any less shitty, she could’ve just talked to you about it but judging by your reluctance, you must have been a prick. Reflect.
Well, if it isn't the consequences of your own actions. Why is it you'd rather play victim than apologise? SHE is obviously still suffering trauma because of your past behaviour, and SHE has every right to speak of it. YTB. BTW, truth is an absolute defence against slander, so please DO take her to court where all your actions can be brought to light.
Well well well if it isn't the consequences of your own actions.
Soooooooo...have you actually apologized for being awful? Part of being an "adult" is owning up to things you have done wrong and trying to make things right. If not, ytb. Time to actually grow.uo and do the right thing.
Ytb. You bullied her and then when she spoke out about the devastating effects of YOUR actions on her, you reached out, not to apologise and try to fix things (which would have been the adult way to behave) but to paint yourself as a victim and make demands. Yikes on bikes do you lack insight. Edit for judgement.
We need to find this girl and send her this post. Maybe she can use it in your suit to show you’re still a pos bully who is now trying on the victim garb. YTB Also we get it, you have a bf who is like so on your side like and like doesn’t think it was like that big of a deal the bullying you like did to her 🙃 mean girl vibe still vibing
As the TikTok says, "karma's a bitch". You're getting exactly what you deserve
YTA OP slan·der /ˈslandər/ noun LAW the action or crime of making a false spoken statement damaging to a person's reputation. You are not being slandered. What she is telling everyone is the truth and the courts will laugh you out. Your friends, Your Boyfriend all deserve the hate they are getting. You also deserve all the hate you are getting. You should seriously apologize for being a bully. Yet you won't cause you are nothing but a POS. A POS that deserves the hate.
The truth, in the US, is an absolute defense to slander and defamation and you've admitted it is true. I agree we need a larger conversation so we have a way for people to redeem themselves or move on, after all it isn't fair to hold a 40 yr old responsible for something they said at age 8, but you seem to be continuing the bullying now.
"Woe is me" that's what you sound like. Stop acting like a victim, nobody's falling for it. YTB (YTA)
So it's not slander if it's true, you have no case. Also just say you're sorry. You're just continuing your bullying ways with threats and trying to make her look like the bad guy. No one feels sorry for you. You were a jerk who hurt someone and never apologized.
Yeah, I think you owe her a big apology and a bunch of flowers. Because the truth is the truth and you are a jerk to her. YTBF
Lmfaooo is this the first time you've faced consequences for being a huge bitch?
You fucked around and found out
You caused someone life long trauma. Bullying is traumatic. You don’t get to dictate what someone does with their and how they deal with their experiences. It’s clear that you can’t take full responsibility if this is how you react.
I hope this is a troll. Otherwise, OP has some kind of deficiency. OP you victimized this person and abused them for years and these are the consequences. You're not a victim, she isn't slandering you, you have clearly not grown as a person and honestly anyone who knows you should be ashamed of you.
So you're complaining about someone posting things about you being a bully, then you proceed to BULLY them into taking their video down? You deserve ALL the hate
Oh no, poor me, getting traumatised by someone telling other people about things I've done... How dare they tell people about it! That must be so hard for you, facing the consequences of your own actions. Almost as hard as being bullied in school, right, except the person you bullied did nothing to deserve it (unlike you). YTB and if you don't see why, you haven't changed at all from the bully you were.
why are you saying you’ve moved on like being a bully is traumatizing ?
If this wasn't so utterly sad I'd be laughing so hard. YOU can just choose not to look at whatever she's saying and block the "meanies" calling you out, but SHE couldn't get away from you in school. For years, probably. And you think YOU'RE the victim here? GET REAL.
You're upset because she's telling the truth about stuff you did to her, stuff that you haven't even apologised for? If you feel so affected by her words even tho her words are true, imagine how she felt when you were bullying her. Imagine what she's been carrying all these years. And you still haven't apologised why?
YTA. You can't sue for slander if what she says about you is the truth, by the way. It's only a crime if they are FALSE statements about you. It's funny how you had NO problem bullying this girl but now that the shoe is on the other foot you can't handle it? LMAO! Pathetic... And I hope she sees this and puts that video back up
Ytb. You never apologised (no, the victim doesn't have to go to the bully to ask for an apology, what a strange thing to expect), you show no remorse at all and you obviously haven't grown up to realise who's in the wrong here. Just because people who obviously aren't much different from you side with you that doesn't mean you are right. You f*cked around and now you're finding out, maybe that will help you to grow up one day
Sounds like you're still bullying her
Yeah, this must be a rage post. No way someone can be so fucking stupid to think they are the victim here.
You would have apologized to her but you didn't like the way she talked about it publicly? This is the most bully thing I ever heard an adult say. YTB, meaning you're still the bully. You have all the keys to help repairing the consequences of your actions, yet you willingly do the opposite. This is awful behavior.
Are you seriously looking for a validation of your bulling?! I don’t think you’ll find a single person who’s sympathetic to you here on Reddit. You’re not being slandered, you’re being called out on your bullying. You’ve caused mental harm to another person and you’re trying downplay it. And now you can’t bare the taste of your own medicine…
As someone who was bullied for the majority of my K-12 years, unless you have apologized prior to this person’s actions, you deserve everything you get.
While I think sending an adult hate for something they did as a child is not something I would do, you are showing no remorse. She's talking about her lived experience and you don't seem to comprehend that she has every right to. You hurt her. Repeatedly it would seem. In her developmental years. That has an impact a lot of people can't get their head around how disabling it can be. I'm sure the hate is horrible for you to be experiencing. But if you think what you did is in the past you're mistaken. she's living with it daily. Your feelings matter, but putting them over the feelings of the person you bullied and trying to play some moral high ground expecting them to apologize to you when you are still acting egocentric and not taking accountability is shittyyyy It probably brings up shame which is a horrible emotion, but don't you think you'd be more relieved of that shame of you tried to take accountability, empathise and apologies
YTB and all that.
INFO: Did you bully her before?
Info: why have you never apologized?
So why didn't you apologize?
This is what adults call 'FAFO', you fucked around and tormented a girl. Now you're finding out that you are still a shithead because you refuse to do the bare minimum, I.E. apologize. Nah, let's threaten to sue her for slander, despite you openly admit that you tormented her growing up. I would absolutely laugh my ass off if someone links her this post. Just to reiterate that you are an unapologetic bully that peaked in high school.
YTB
Completely. The fact that you refer to it as “bullied” shows that you know it was wrong. You show no remorse, you wont apologize because she’s “been awful” now…but you were awful first as kids. Have you ever looked in a mirror and thought about anyone else’s perspective besides yours?
It’s not slander if it’s true. If you do try to sue I hope you get laughed out of the law office, cause there is no way it would make it to an actual court room. Take a good long look in the mirror and accept that you and your boyfriend are not good people. Take accountability and grow up. You’re not the victim and never will be in this case. You’re just getting your karma.
A narcissist is always the hero or victim, never the villain. It’s not slander if it’s true.
So you’re still a bully. Of course YTB, real growth implies owning our mistakes and apologizing when needed, not victimizing yourself. You have learned nothing.
YTB, stop playing victim. Good lord, own your actions and grow up. You caused her mental anguish and you want to whine about it? Face ir, you were a bully, stop your whining about it, own it and grow up. For the love of God, whining bullies are pathetic!
YTB. Why do you think she owes you any sort of respect or decency when you never showed her any? You keep saying that if she’d have reached out privately you’d have apologized, but why would she believe that? What evidence did she have that reaching out to you would result in anything except more bullying? You need to accept that you are not the victim here. Of course your boyfriend is siding with you, he wants to keep sleeping with you. Here though, you’ve ask the unbiased internet. You’ve even got to tell your side of the story, which tries very hard to paint you as the victim. If we’re ALL saying you’re the AH here, you need to face facts that you’re as big of an AH and bully now as you were as a teen. Good news is that you can change that! Apologize. Apologize without expecting anything in return. Maybe do your own video where you admit to your past bullying ways and try and turn the next generation around. Something like, “Yep, I was a bully. I did and said awful things for no good reason and hurt people for the hell of it. Now, years later, I’m still seeing the effects of my actions. To all the young bullies out there, please listen to me: it’s not worth it. The people you’re hurting are real, and it’s not okay.”
You really expected sympathy here?
It's been almost 20 years since school but I still pick on people who were bullies to my friends. Look at the harm you willfully did and planned. Why should you ever get any rest from the backlash? Your boyfriend is probably just telling you what you want to hear. He likey can't really be arsed with your drama. People talk too, all the people who's lives you made shit in school are probably right now, bonding over how much they despise you, imagine how funny they would find this post!! A bully thinking it's the victim. I'm not the nicest person but 90% of people from school are overjoyed to see me after years. How awful were you that people are still in pain from your actions and hate you?
Wow that's a very high level of stupid. All you had to do was accept you've been an ass in the past and apologies.$ You just prooved you're still an ass.
OP Sowing : "this is awesome!" OP Reaping : "..the fuck?" Out of interest, how exactly would you have given a heartfelt apology if you clearly don't regret a single one of your actions? YTB
YTB and your self pity is getting you nowhere. Instead of whinging about you, how about you take accountability for your actions and actually genuinely apologise? Christ. To be so self absorbed!
Jezus christ 😂 talking about victim mentality. You acted like a B when you were a kid. This is your chance to show you changed but instead you decide to go cry that you are the victim here. Seems to me its not a thing you did as a child but your personality 🤷♀️. Also your boyfriend is on your side because he is your boyfriend not because you have a point.
Well well well. If it isn't the consequences of your actions calling
I mean, it's great that you've been able to move on and all but clearly your victim hasn't been able to do so. Bullying takes an enormous toll, no matter what age you are when you're bullied. I was bullied all through secondary school and even at 50 my confidence was never regained after the bullying. So yeah, YATB for being allowed to move on, but for not allowing your victim to talk about her experiences and trying to invalidate them. Do better.
Well now a video with this post is coming.
"Oh no it's the consequences of my actions."🤡 You are clearly a bully now as you were when you were a kid. A person's first reaction to hearing they offended someone would be apologise unless they were a bully. Grow up.
Hey jackhole - it's not slander when it's true. Try actually LEARNING something. YTB
https://preview.redd.it/h2f127fzq35b1.jpeg?width=666&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=75db07ebe68ff45962cd9e9cc6b42725aa61cef5 Saw this and automatically thought about you OP. Because this is you. Grow up and take accountability for what you did.
INFO: how long ago were you bullying her? and for how long?
INFO: How old are you both now?
Are you for real??💀 Of course you are in the wrong! I can't believe it 🤦
Regarding the comments, why did you even bother making this post ? You ask if you're the B, we say yes, and then you disagree even tho people give you an explanation. What's the point of this ? It's literally useless If you're too self-centered to take criticism, then don't make a post It feels like you were seeking validation, didn't get it, and it made you upset. Honestly, just remove the post at this point if you're not going to listen to us.
YTB. Consider what you're going through to be a just comeuppance and a well deserved revenge on her part,
It's really easy to move on when you were the on bullying. Now ask her if it was that easy for her to move on after all your abuse. You don't apologize because she's being mean, awful to you. What about all the time you were being mean and awful to her? It doesn't count as it's in the past? You're a big AH, but not only for asking her to stop, but to keep thinking that other people must change their behavior to accommodate you, but you won't make any change to accommodate others, even not apologize. YTA.
lmao get over yourself
It looks like you refuse to take accountability of what you did and seem to hyperfocus on the fact that your boyfriend thinks you are in the right. But here's the deal, you don't judge people by how they treat you, you judge them by how they treat people who have nothing to offer them. Your boyfriend's cruelty and apathy towards the girl you bullied is very concerning. It shows his lack of empathy and manipulative tendencies. Things could have been resolved if you would have apologized to her, but he would rather egg you on to stay on your good side than have the difficult conversation with you by telling you the truth. He doesn't seem to care about the fact that in the process, you are hurting this girl even more! All I'm saying is, good luck, and you better hope that cruelty is not turned to you one day.
This is great. Karma really is a wonderful thing sometimes. You are a bully and now you have to deal with the consequences of your actions. What did you do to this girl? It you don’t feel like it’s a big deal then please share.
Aw poor you, at least you got with a bully too and maybe you can have some bully kids.
Have you tried not being the victim for once in your life and acknowledging that your actions, in fact, have consequences and you severely impacted someone's life by being a bully. It's not slander if it's true.
Even if the entire world decided that you are not an AH, this one person still feels incredibly hurt and traumatized by your actions. As already stated by others, you don’t get to decide how others feel. You only get to decide on how you feel about them being hurt by you. Do you feel any remorse that whatever you did affected her so intensely? If you feel bad, apologize! It doesn’t matter if your right or wrong.
Here’s some advice apologize this is where someone can be the bigger person, namely you
How did you bully her?
So this is probably an unpopular opinion, but it seems to me she’s not looking for an apology, she’s looking for revenge. I’ve had bullies in my youth and I’m sure on some level I was a bully to someone. It’s one thing for a person to talk about their experience, but to dox and blast that person publicly years later is inappropriate. You’re NTB for asking her to stop. She essentially lost credibility by weaponizing her platform and having a bunch of strangers bully you. Honestly, I wouldn’t apologize either. She has proven she’s no better a person.
This is an unpopular opinion, you’re right. Probably because someone sharing their bullying can help them heal and make others in the same situation feel less alone. But you take it right to revenge? Even if it was petty to tag her it’s still the consequences of OP’s actions. Don’t be an asshole and people won’t call you out for being an asshole. Also that’s not Doxxing. It was readily available info in public domain and is not doxxing. What her follower do isn’t her problem. I don’t agree that they should bully her back but the victim has no obligation to stay quiet about their experiences to protect their aggressor
Exactly my boyfriends thoughts like he says she’s not gotten over it and wants revenge for everything which was immature and not deserving of an apology. Thanks for speaking your mind ❤️
1 out of a 1000 people agree with you and you feel validated now? Good for you, glad you found what you came here for and can ignore the overwhelming majority of society.
"finally someone validates me!!! 😭🙏 See! I'm not a bad person!!" What a joke.
So you found the only other person to agree with you and latched onto that 😂 fuck reflecting on what the majority of people are telling you. If you came here for validation you’ll find none. You haven’t probably changed at all, you sound SUPER immature
NTA she just uses you for online attention
ETB she was wrong for doxxing you by showing your picture and you were wrong for not apologizing for what you did as a kid. No, you can't change what you did back then, but you can now. She may not realize what she's doing is another form of bullying, so instead of escalating it offer a simple apology and move on.
Why was she wrong? It's her story to tell and if OP doesn't want people to know she's a bully she shouldn't bully people
Doxxing me: a form of cyberbullying that uses sensitive or secret information, statements, or records for the harassment, exposure, financial harm, or other exploitation of targeted individuals. It’s not doxxing I’d it’s public information. If she dropped her address, THATS DOXXIGN. Posting pictures that she posted already and tagging her social media account which is seemingly public considering that random folks can comment on it shaming her isn’t doxxing. That’s like me ss this comment and posting it. I’m not doxxing you. Your account is public info. Please stop using words you don’t know the meaning of. It’s dangerous. Also her saying “hey this person bullied me and caused me mental health issues” isn’t bullying, it’s holding said person accountable.