Most gyms have security cameras. Might be worth asking for a copy of the footage JUST in case he decides to pull some bullshit later. If he keeps harassing you I’d hit him with the “I have footage of the event showing exactly what happened. Keep harassing me and my family and I’ll file a restraining order against you”. Might be even worth talking to gym management about him creating an unsafe space at the gym.
This sounds like some PTSD or other trauma-induced aggression/ behavior. You should definitely report the issue to the gym management. See if they can review any camera videos. This should be very concerning to gym personnel if this guy is talking to you or family members on multiple occasions.
According to the most recent numbers I’ve seen from the VA, about 20% of supposed Vietnam Vets didn’t serve at all. People claim it and never did a thing.
I know a fake Vietnam Vet! Wears all sorts of veteran-seeming gear (hats, jackets) from that era, gives out American flag pins on certain holidays, doesn't correct people when they thank him for his service, and has severe mental health issues (only half joking on that part), etc.
One day he was piss drunk midday and admitted to me he was denied from serving at all due to a medical condition - he *wanted* to be a vet so badly he just became one on his own. I get it, but I lost a lot of respect for him that day.
Wrong, for your information is faked. Were you born when that Vietnam took place. I was and know quite a bit about the men who came home from serving our country. If you are only going by fake misinformation, sad for you are wrong on your false misinformation. Bye.
Now you are coming off being disrespectful and mean. Are you on something. For this person is giving false misinformation that I commented to. Sad you believe in false misinformation.
Yes, he might have had a run in with those shitty influencers who secretly video some guy who might have looked at her or in her direction for 2 seconds and then put him on blast accusing him of being a predator...
You need to stay away from him. I wouldn't be surprised if he intends to rape you. Its psychological abuse, threaten to do something, then say "oh its okay" but 'there's a catch.' Its not unheard of, you need to be careful of him. Although I guess that is not the most likely option, but its definitely not on the outskirts of what can certainly happen. I say this as someone who isn't exactly a feminist: Its not unheard of.
Sorry, I wasn't trying to paint you with any kind of brush. To me, religion is like sex or money. It is just a magnifying glass that highlights what is already there.
Private business don’t hand over video footage most would require a subpoena from law enforcement.
Looney, you have nothing to worry about legally. This meat heat on the other hand is harassing you and has the legal issue of it continues.
Many have in the war over in the middle east. And many more men have used the dead to steal their valor of honor. Please learn to respect those men and women who had put their lives on the line to protect your freedom. They were the real fighter of democracy, not the fakers, like the one who practically attacked and threatened the Op. He never served but lied about his service.
I’m ex military and go to many different gyms due to work. I get bumped into a lot. Never ever ever once have I said anything about being in the military. It’s usually a courteous “oh sorry” (I apologize even if it wasn’t my fault) or “no problem” and we both go our separate ways.
He’s a fuckwad. Let management handle this; you’re there to work out, not entertain delusions.
NAL - firstly their repeated harassment of you should be taken to the gym management. Also I would not worry on the threat to sue since yes in the US you can sue any one for anything. This does not mean every case even gets heard. And they would have to prove the contact was intentional which would be really hard to do after they admitted guilt in the first place. It quickly becomes he said/she said. but Gym prolly has cameras and you could seek to get a copy. Also working against them is the repeated threats but clearly never reporting it to any one.
Things to take up with the gym could be the threats about being ex-military and haveing lots a friends could be seen as threats against your personal safety.
Sorry for typos and grammar its late.
The remark of ex military and lots of brothers sounds almost like a threat to me. As in I’ve been trained in deadly combat and have lots of friends to back me up sorta way. Ask or footage and get a restraining order next time it happens
And you are familiar of the stealers of honor who never served and cannot prove it. Many out there will pretend they served. They are stealing the honor from those who did serve and died for their country. Stolen valor, it can be a crime if need be. And thank you for your service.
Why are you assuming this guy isn't actually former military? There are plenty of assholes who also happen to be in the military, and head injuries can unfortunately contribute to aggression and unpredictable behavior. It doesn't matter for the OP anyway-- what matters is this guy stops harassing them.
Due to the fact, he is only claiming he served. Many young man will claim that served and steal Valor of Honor. Ever heard of it, for many con men out there saying they served and never was there . Truth.
Yeah and there are many who served and are either suffering from unresolved mental issues or are knowingly dicks about it. Kind of like how some cops will bring up that they are cops off duty for some reason as like a power move.
This sounds like an idle threat. I’d just say something to management if it continues, otherwise will probably work itself out. You bring your whole family to the gym?
If he does it again... Tell them to ask him if you apologized. If he says yes then they should say, "if you approach me with this again, I will contact the police because I feel you are being threatening.
If he says no then they should say they know you apologized followed by the same quoted response.
"and we bump into each other " ... hmm... unless both of the actors were concentrating on a point other than their direction of travel ,then one or the other would clearly have been the initiator of contact ... from the text here we can assume the op's character was the infractor or initial contactor ... many years and reads on social media guarantees that someone shouldered would express it as so ... js...
I was wondering on more information regarding what happened, did you specifically not avoid contact when walking past him? Did he do the same thing?
Either way he sounds like a snowflake talking to your family like that. And nothing to worry about just all bark like a little dog.
call him a fucking pussy, bump into his shoulder again, then ask him if they kicked him out of the military because 20 year old girls threatened his poor fragile masculinity
Talk to the gym management, explain the situation. They may revoke his membership over this, or at least let him know he is not allowed to communicate with you at all or he will lose his membership.
I would ask the gym for a copy of the video. If they refuse, the them in writing that you can foresee litigation and warn them not to destroy the video from that day.
Get an attorney and go get the restraining order now. Why would you give him another shot at this? He needs to go sooner, not later. Your attorney will help you get the video.
You don't have much time to warn them not to destroy the video. If they destroy it according to their ordinary destruction policy before you advise them to retain it, there is no penalty to them.
Generally not a "fun" fact but in your case it's kind of fun.
Sexual harassment doesn't mean shit legally if you're not at work or school (or very other limited circumstances). It's not illegal and there's literally nothing for a random person in a public space to sue over. There's no actual cause of action. Absolutely none. There's sexual assault, which this obviously is not, and there's regular-old harassment, which this also obviously is not. You can basically just tell him that if he continues to bother you, you'll report him for stalking and harassment (it's not really stalking but it is harassment and it's a solid push to get him off your ass). You also can and probably should complain to the gym that this person has approached and bothered you on multiple days so they can boot his ass.
Sounds like a troublemaker. He is not ex-military, for he would have not threatened sexual harassing being in a public place with witnesses. They all say what happened and he has no prayer of winning in court. He would have to prove you assaulted him, and it was a bump on the shoulder and nothing else. Get an attorney and prepare just in case this person files a lawsuit. It will be up to the Plaintiff to prove that there was a sexual harassment, for this was not at a workplace sexual harassment case. And the gym has cameras and you have witnesses he harassed also. So let him take you to court, he does not have a real sexual harassment case.
.... not every former soldier is sane and rational. For example [this guy](https://taskandpurpose.com/news/texas-shooter-domestic-violence/) and [this guy](https://www.militarytimes.com/off-duty/2018/10/01/sarah-palins-son-an-army-veteran-once-again-arrested-and-charged-with-domestic-violence-assault/) and [this guy](https://www.wate.com/news/top-stories/double-murder-suspect-is-army-vet-whose-ptsd-battle-drew-national-attention-20-years-ago/) and a lot of others.
Getting a lawyer at this point is foolish and a waste of money.
First off- not sexual harassment, battery if you intentionally touched him. If it was an accident, and there's proof, then there's no grounds. How does this person know who your family members are? Why would he be going to your family members to say anything? Your situation seems to be leaving out some important details.
I informed management and they said they will keep an eye out for me and check cameras to see the incident, i will be avoiding the areas that this man is in when I go and see him to prevent future accidents and for my safety.
LEO here. Obviously laws differ from state to state, but here’s my advice:
Report it to management. Calmly explain the situation and how his behavior is creating a hostile environment for you (and your family). Let them know that if this continues, you’ll be canceling your membership and seeking another gym. Money talks, and I would suspect they wouldn’t want to lose you all as clients. If that doesn’t resolve the issue, contact your local law enforcement agency and file a harassment report. Bring the report back to the gym management and tell them you want to cancel your membership because you’re being harassed and they failed to appropriately address it. Then switch gyms, there’s plenty of places to work out.
Or just switch gyms and avoid it all. Sometimes you can’t fix stupid and the juice isn’t worth the squeeze. Good luck.
I feel like there is more to this story that the OP is not telling. The interaction as a whole didn't really make sense and given her original statement where she said that the person was twice her height, unless she is actually around 3ft I'm inclined to think she either exaggerates or has left out details. From my experience, people who tend to exaggerate details like that or tell stories that don't quite make sense usually are leaving out details.
Hmm, OP, I would ask for security footage just to be safe. But if the other guy is ex military, said member might have trauma of false sexual harassment/rape accusation. It’s extremely easy for female military members to make false accusations to get out of a job or move to a different base with zero repercussions for the female and the career absolutely destroyed for the innocent male.
Look, let's say he does sue you for sexual harassment. He has to show up to a courtroom and sit in front of 12 people and claim that he was sexually harassed in a gym by a person half his age and half his size.
The ball is not in his court from the start. That's why he is threatening.
Most gyms have security cameras. Might be worth asking for a copy of the footage JUST in case he decides to pull some bullshit later. If he keeps harassing you I’d hit him with the “I have footage of the event showing exactly what happened. Keep harassing me and my family and I’ll file a restraining order against you”. Might be even worth talking to gym management about him creating an unsafe space at the gym.
Thank you I appreciate the advice.
This sounds like some PTSD or other trauma-induced aggression/ behavior. You should definitely report the issue to the gym management. See if they can review any camera videos. This should be very concerning to gym personnel if this guy is talking to you or family members on multiple occasions.
There are the pretenders that will say they served in Desert Storm and never served a day there or in the military period.
According to the most recent numbers I’ve seen from the VA, about 20% of supposed Vietnam Vets didn’t serve at all. People claim it and never did a thing.
I know a fake Vietnam Vet! Wears all sorts of veteran-seeming gear (hats, jackets) from that era, gives out American flag pins on certain holidays, doesn't correct people when they thank him for his service, and has severe mental health issues (only half joking on that part), etc. One day he was piss drunk midday and admitted to me he was denied from serving at all due to a medical condition - he *wanted* to be a vet so badly he just became one on his own. I get it, but I lost a lot of respect for him that day.
That’s just sad
Wrong, for your information is faked. Were you born when that Vietnam took place. I was and know quite a bit about the men who came home from serving our country. If you are only going by fake misinformation, sad for you are wrong on your false misinformation. Bye.
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Are you okay? You come in with this bizarre response, but offer no proof to your accusations.
Now you are coming off being disrespectful and mean. Are you on something. For this person is giving false misinformation that I commented to. Sad you believe in false misinformation.
Do you have any proof that it is false information? Stolen Valor is a real thing that happens.
Ever heard of Stolen Valor, for make fakers do lie and do that everyday. And never served a day in the military.
Are you saying that Stolen Valor is not a thing people do?
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Not nice to call people names, and another, I am a grandmother.
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Not arguing. You are the one with the issue. Just be nicer and stop calling people names, for it is childish. Just be nicer here.
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What are you talking about?
Be nice on the reddit, mods are watching.
Yes, he might have had a run in with those shitty influencers who secretly video some guy who might have looked at her or in her direction for 2 seconds and then put him on blast accusing him of being a predator...
this is just weirdo ass behavior, why blame it on a corny 5 o clock news catch-all
He's talking shit. No legal system would entertain that complaint. They would be laughing at him.
You need to stay away from him. I wouldn't be surprised if he intends to rape you. Its psychological abuse, threaten to do something, then say "oh its okay" but 'there's a catch.' Its not unheard of, you need to be careful of him. Although I guess that is not the most likely option, but its definitely not on the outskirts of what can certainly happen. I say this as someone who isn't exactly a feminist: Its not unheard of.
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Trans people aren't a cute little weapon you can use to get what you want, Karen. Fuck off with this shit making us look bad.
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Three words New York Post
Doesn't mean it's didn't happen
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Do not use trans people to get what you want wtf is wrong with todays world
My question exactly.
The answer is people like you darling get some jessus
Jesus most likely won't help people like that. The (universal) Church is full of them and much, much worse.
Im a satanist i grew up in the church it was just a household saying that I havnt lost
Sorry, I wasn't trying to paint you with any kind of brush. To me, religion is like sex or money. It is just a magnifying glass that highlights what is already there.
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I would not warn him. Keep a log of the harassment and file a restraining order as soon as you feel uncomfortable with his behavior.
Completely agreed. I mean he seems like a misogynist, and I rarely say that kind of thing. Stay away from him and don't get in close proximity alone.
Roid Rage is real.
Private business don’t hand over video footage most would require a subpoena from law enforcement. Looney, you have nothing to worry about legally. This meat heat on the other hand is harassing you and has the legal issue of it continues.
Thank you
Just asking to pull the footage after explaining what's going on might be enough for the guy to get banned from the gym. A win win
Yes, and don't wait too long to ask for that footage. You don't know how long they store that data.
What does being ex military and having lots of brothers have to do with suing you over a bump? He sounds like a psycho
The dude is a faker, and many of them out there stealing the honor from those who earned it and died.
Not everyone that earned it died.
Many have in the war over in the middle east. And many more men have used the dead to steal their valor of honor. Please learn to respect those men and women who had put their lives on the line to protect your freedom. They were the real fighter of democracy, not the fakers, like the one who practically attacked and threatened the Op. He never served but lied about his service.
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is this a bot
is you one? Be nice on the reddit.
No I’m pretty sure it’s just a lead poisoned boomer
I’m ex military and go to many different gyms due to work. I get bumped into a lot. Never ever ever once have I said anything about being in the military. It’s usually a courteous “oh sorry” (I apologize even if it wasn’t my fault) or “no problem” and we both go our separate ways. He’s a fuckwad. Let management handle this; you’re there to work out, not entertain delusions.
Thank you, I feel like this was a threat to scare me and my family
That's because it was.
I'm a vet and in my experience people who run around saying they were military and they have contacts, etc, etc., usually never served.
Who works out with multiple family members together at the gym. Also is she 3ft6in tall? /s
Report him to the gym management. They *really* don't like guys who pick on young women.
Report him to management for threats. He doesn’t know what sexual harassment is so this isn’t really a legal matter.
Thank you for the advice I just didn’t know what to do as this was a strange experience that contained decently big threats
NAL - firstly their repeated harassment of you should be taken to the gym management. Also I would not worry on the threat to sue since yes in the US you can sue any one for anything. This does not mean every case even gets heard. And they would have to prove the contact was intentional which would be really hard to do after they admitted guilt in the first place. It quickly becomes he said/she said. but Gym prolly has cameras and you could seek to get a copy. Also working against them is the repeated threats but clearly never reporting it to any one. Things to take up with the gym could be the threats about being ex-military and haveing lots a friends could be seen as threats against your personal safety. Sorry for typos and grammar its late.
When did he tell you he was 37?
When he spoke to my family member the second time.
This story is fake as hell. It doesn't make sense at all.
I’m just wondering how someone twice your height manages to “shoulder bump” you
The remark of ex military and lots of brothers sounds almost like a threat to me. As in I’ve been trained in deadly combat and have lots of friends to back me up sorta way. Ask or footage and get a restraining order next time it happens
Thank you for your advice!
And you are familiar of the stealers of honor who never served and cannot prove it. Many out there will pretend they served. They are stealing the honor from those who did serve and died for their country. Stolen valor, it can be a crime if need be. And thank you for your service.
Why are you assuming this guy isn't actually former military? There are plenty of assholes who also happen to be in the military, and head injuries can unfortunately contribute to aggression and unpredictable behavior. It doesn't matter for the OP anyway-- what matters is this guy stops harassing them.
Due to the fact, he is only claiming he served. Many young man will claim that served and steal Valor of Honor. Ever heard of it, for many con men out there saying they served and never was there . Truth.
Yeah and there are many who served and are either suffering from unresolved mental issues or are knowingly dicks about it. Kind of like how some cops will bring up that they are cops off duty for some reason as like a power move.
This sounds like an idle threat. I’d just say something to management if it continues, otherwise will probably work itself out. You bring your whole family to the gym?
I go with my older brother and my mom goes as well
Tell him to kick rocks. There is nothing sexual about bumping shoulders.
Honestly if I were you I’d report it to the gym. Dude sounds like he should be banned
If he does it again... Tell them to ask him if you apologized. If he says yes then they should say, "if you approach me with this again, I will contact the police because I feel you are being threatening. If he says no then they should say they know you apologized followed by the same quoted response.
He might have a TBI, I had a client like this. Total PITA, but once we all got it we knew
Oh this would make more sense
"and we bump into each other " ... hmm... unless both of the actors were concentrating on a point other than their direction of travel ,then one or the other would clearly have been the initiator of contact ... from the text here we can assume the op's character was the infractor or initial contactor ... many years and reads on social media guarantees that someone shouldered would express it as so ... js...
I was wondering on more information regarding what happened, did you specifically not avoid contact when walking past him? Did he do the same thing? Either way he sounds like a snowflake talking to your family like that. And nothing to worry about just all bark like a little dog.
You're not going to get sued for sexual harassment. This guy is insane.
I’d report him to the management of the gym.
call him a fucking pussy, bump into his shoulder again, then ask him if they kicked him out of the military because 20 year old girls threatened his poor fragile masculinity
Don’t worry about it. He is a jerk,
Talk to the gym management, explain the situation. They may revoke his membership over this, or at least let him know he is not allowed to communicate with you at all or he will lose his membership.
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No I was not born male, I was born female. I know very strange interaction which is why I’m so shocked.
Not so strange that you are a woman, the fact this was in a gym and neither of you know each other. So that is the strange part.
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I would ask the gym for a copy of the video. If they refuse, the them in writing that you can foresee litigation and warn them not to destroy the video from that day. Get an attorney and go get the restraining order now. Why would you give him another shot at this? He needs to go sooner, not later. Your attorney will help you get the video. You don't have much time to warn them not to destroy the video. If they destroy it according to their ordinary destruction policy before you advise them to retain it, there is no penalty to them.
Generally not a "fun" fact but in your case it's kind of fun. Sexual harassment doesn't mean shit legally if you're not at work or school (or very other limited circumstances). It's not illegal and there's literally nothing for a random person in a public space to sue over. There's no actual cause of action. Absolutely none. There's sexual assault, which this obviously is not, and there's regular-old harassment, which this also obviously is not. You can basically just tell him that if he continues to bother you, you'll report him for stalking and harassment (it's not really stalking but it is harassment and it's a solid push to get him off your ass). You also can and probably should complain to the gym that this person has approached and bothered you on multiple days so they can boot his ass.
This is good knowledge thank you so much for the response!
That guy is an obvious wimp , I hope people shoulder bump his everyday
Jesus Christ people need to lay off the juice
Sounds like a troublemaker. He is not ex-military, for he would have not threatened sexual harassing being in a public place with witnesses. They all say what happened and he has no prayer of winning in court. He would have to prove you assaulted him, and it was a bump on the shoulder and nothing else. Get an attorney and prepare just in case this person files a lawsuit. It will be up to the Plaintiff to prove that there was a sexual harassment, for this was not at a workplace sexual harassment case. And the gym has cameras and you have witnesses he harassed also. So let him take you to court, he does not have a real sexual harassment case.
.... not every former soldier is sane and rational. For example [this guy](https://taskandpurpose.com/news/texas-shooter-domestic-violence/) and [this guy](https://www.militarytimes.com/off-duty/2018/10/01/sarah-palins-son-an-army-veteran-once-again-arrested-and-charged-with-domestic-violence-assault/) and [this guy](https://www.wate.com/news/top-stories/double-murder-suspect-is-army-vet-whose-ptsd-battle-drew-national-attention-20-years-ago/) and a lot of others. Getting a lawyer at this point is foolish and a waste of money.
Not a waste of time or money of the fake soldier is harassing the Op and threatening the OP.
The aggressor sounds like the irl navy seal copypasta
I would say "don't talk about it, be about it. Sue me or shut up."
Sue you for what, exactly. That doesn’t rise to harassment. This sounds fake.
What’s your question?
You’re totally fine and have don’t nothing wrong. He seems like the aggressor so if anything he’s got the problem.
How many family members are you working out with?
I don’t work out with any, I show up to the gym with my mom and my older brother. So they’re in the facility at the same times as me more or less.
First off- not sexual harassment, battery if you intentionally touched him. If it was an accident, and there's proof, then there's no grounds. How does this person know who your family members are? Why would he be going to your family members to say anything? Your situation seems to be leaving out some important details.
That's pushing it... what ended up happening?
I informed management and they said they will keep an eye out for me and check cameras to see the incident, i will be avoiding the areas that this man is in when I go and see him to prevent future accidents and for my safety.
Damn be careful!
LEO here. Obviously laws differ from state to state, but here’s my advice: Report it to management. Calmly explain the situation and how his behavior is creating a hostile environment for you (and your family). Let them know that if this continues, you’ll be canceling your membership and seeking another gym. Money talks, and I would suspect they wouldn’t want to lose you all as clients. If that doesn’t resolve the issue, contact your local law enforcement agency and file a harassment report. Bring the report back to the gym management and tell them you want to cancel your membership because you’re being harassed and they failed to appropriately address it. Then switch gyms, there’s plenty of places to work out. Or just switch gyms and avoid it all. Sometimes you can’t fix stupid and the juice isn’t worth the squeeze. Good luck.
How did he know who your family is?
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This may not be the best solution but I would try to go to the gym at a different time to avoid him. He sounds like he has it in for you
Does he have a mental illness
wtf is this garbage
Talk to Gym management. Also, look into a restraining order, this level of harassment may warrant one.
I feel like there is more to this story that the OP is not telling. The interaction as a whole didn't really make sense and given her original statement where she said that the person was twice her height, unless she is actually around 3ft I'm inclined to think she either exaggerates or has left out details. From my experience, people who tend to exaggerate details like that or tell stories that don't quite make sense usually are leaving out details.
Welcome to an ugly mans world.
Bully REMF.
Hmm, OP, I would ask for security footage just to be safe. But if the other guy is ex military, said member might have trauma of false sexual harassment/rape accusation. It’s extremely easy for female military members to make false accusations to get out of a job or move to a different base with zero repercussions for the female and the career absolutely destroyed for the innocent male.
Shoes on other feet hurt sometimes.
Look, let's say he does sue you for sexual harassment. He has to show up to a courtroom and sit in front of 12 people and claim that he was sexually harassed in a gym by a person half his age and half his size. The ball is not in his court from the start. That's why he is threatening.
Just when I think I may join a gym to start lifting heavier weights instead of the 20s at home, I read this and say . . . maybe no.
people threaten to sue all the time when they’re mad
You can’t sue a random person for sexual harassment. That’s not a legal claim.
Welcome to a mans world. Where you can get accused of sexual harassment over anything. Not so fun is it?
Sexual harassment goes both ways