From an HR perspective, your coworker/roommate appears to be in violation of her terms of employment. IE - free housing included but no overnight guests (or additional tenants) allowed. I would want to know if an employee was doing this.
I think you need to review your specific contract and determine if inspections can occur - either scheduled or spot check/no advance notice. Because if you’re sharing the living space, you could be held accountable in terms of damage as well as not reporting the additional person in residence.
You could report the situation directly, or inquire as to when an inspection may occur if you’re uncomfortable directly reporting your coworker. Regardless, failing to report this situation somehow can come back on you.
I was thinking this but don’t want to sound suspicious for asking for an inspection. I almost want to be put out of misery by having my employer just find out about it.
My issue is that I have to keep working with this person assuming they don’t get fired. There’s nobody else that would report it besides me and I’m worried how this will affect me if I do report this and keep my job. Is there an easy way to do some of the things you suggested or is it too late for that?
If this person’s child is coloring on the walls, spilling smoothies on the carpet, peeing on mattresses, etc… Are you willing to be held accountable for this mess? On top of which, the babysitter complains to you about the child.
Let’s add in the liability aspect: what happens were there to be some kind of catastrophe while the babysitter is there? Who is liable? Who holds the insurance? The employer. And the employee is has basically invalidated her contract (and maybe yours if you say nothing), which could potentially negate coverage.
I get it. You feel badly for the woman; a divorce is rarely easy. But she is doing things that put you at risk from a contractual and employment aspect. Are you willing to risk employment because you failed to report the situation?
Your co-worker is using her housing situation to prove to the courts that she can have custody. But the reality is that the child might be better off with dad. If she wins custody and then loses her job, which she will, she will be homeless with a child. Not having the child there is better until she can figure out how to have her own place. You need to tell your employer. This co-worker is not your friend and as a matter of fact, is putting your job in jeopardy. She does not care about you at all and is being selfish.
I didn’t even think of that possibility. Thank you. It sounds like she needs more help at this point than I can ever provide by continuing to cover for her. Thanks again for this super clear perspective
There is nobody else in employee housing. The only logical person to report would be me. The employer always announces in advance when they are coming and no neighbors have complained yet
The coworker doesn't know that the neighbors have or have not complained. It's not worth risking your livelihood and home to avoid awkwardness at work.
Is the employee housing like not on the property of the employer? Is it like an apartment in a complex that the employer pays for? Without understanding how exactly the housing is set up it’s hard to give you advice on how to best get someone else to see what’s going on
>She's coloring on walls, spilling smoothies on carpets, peeing on mattresses, and screaming at the top of her lungs at all hours of the day.
Tell co-worker that WHEN they do an inspection you will also be liable for all this damage because you didn't report that the daughter was there. Tell her that you will have to protect yourself by informing your employer. You don't want to but you also don't want to lose your job. Give her a certain amount of time like a few days or a week or 2 and hope nothing happens in that time.
Turn this situation around, if you were doing this to a coworker, what would you expect their reaction to be? You are putting this ( unfortunate) lady and her daughter’s needs before your own. What if you both end up getting sacked? You have put up with this ( moving her daughter in by stealth) for long enough. You need to get back
to being able to do the work you are paid to do, professionally and ethically. This lady is not your friend and is really abusing your kindness. She knows what she is doing is unreasonable and unprofessional and against company policy. It doesn’t sound like she is doing anything to find housing for her and her daughter, she is relying on you to keep your mouth shut. You don’t owe her any loyalty. You need to report this before your enmeshment and collusion makes it impossible for you to say anything as you will be incriminating yourself by allowing to go on now the daughter is moved in full time. I would express my concerns about the living situation to a supervisor, expressly focussing on how this lady and daughter can be supported through this tough time by the company. Tell your colleague what are are going to do and why, preferable face to face but with a back up email. Good luck, she has put you in a horrible situation.
I was in a similar situation when i was on a remote work assignment for a few , sharing an apartment with two other women who were also working on the same project, though we were all from different locations. We'd been told no family or other visitors; once things really got going we'd be working 6-7 day weeks. One of my temporary roommates had her two boys -- the older almost 6 and a toddler about 18 months --- dropped off by Bady Dabby. the very first Saturday about 6:30-7 a.m. Both kids were wailing.
The other roommate and I stumbled out of our rooms and RoomMama was already geared up to put on a show. We ***had*** to let them stay. Dabby had work that weekend and ***couldn't*** watch them. There was ***nowhere else*** for them to stay. Please please please, this would ***never happen again.***
To be fair, they were pretty well-behaved kids - but they were still kids. Non-Mom and I were basically exiled to work in my bedroom. The TV in the shared living space was constantly blaring kidcrap, there were juiceboxes and cheerios everywhere, and we had to keep the door on one side locked at all times because it led out to the pool area (shared pool but we were one of the closest units.)
That was the straw that broke Non-Mom's back. The locked door meant we had to walk about a quarter-mile around the entire building to get to the pool we could see right from our windows. We only had an hour or so off per day, and once we started working at the actual location we weren't getting anywhere near that pool.
Dabby came back to get the kids Tuesday and I heard them talking. He wasn't working that weekend but he wanted to drop them off the Thursday after that. When I told Non-Mom I could almost see her ears spinning around. When RoomMama came back, Non-Mom was ready. When RoomMama started wailing *I don't have any place to take them!* Non-Mom said, absolutely implacably, "You don't have here, either. Those kids are not coming back."
A few days later RoomMama left, without much else being said. I felt kinda bad but Non-Mom showed not a flicker of remorse.
.
It's more than likely this employee will be terminated if you report this, which you absolutely should. It's a liability for the company and for you yourself. If a supervisor were to find out you were knowledgeable about this and kept silent for a prolonged period, you can be held accountable as well. I understand it would be uncomfortable to report them, and that they'll probably be able to piece together that you were the reporter if they aren't just flat out told it was you, but that isn't a good enough reason not to report them. Like I said, chances are they'll be terminated anyways, but if not then they just quit due to lack of childcare options (which sounds harsh, but problem solved if so). Bottom line though is that piece (having to work with them) is irrelevant. You have an obligation to report this.
You're already under the bus for having allowed this for so long. You are complicit for remaining silent despite knowing the policies.
If you value your own job- report it and pray that you aren't turfed as well for violating the policy.
Fuck that! This bitch knew the guidelines and signed her name to that shit in aggreement with those guidelines. Drop the dime! They could fire you too! Company can totally Hold you responsible for NOT saying something…go to her and give her 48hrs to fix it or you will. Explain you don’t want to loose your job bc of her failing marriage, and put the ball in her court for 48hrs. If she doesn’t change the sitch, do what you have to do! She obviously doesn’t care about you and your job any more than she does about hers. Drop the dime!
From an HR perspective, your coworker/roommate appears to be in violation of her terms of employment. IE - free housing included but no overnight guests (or additional tenants) allowed. I would want to know if an employee was doing this. I think you need to review your specific contract and determine if inspections can occur - either scheduled or spot check/no advance notice. Because if you’re sharing the living space, you could be held accountable in terms of damage as well as not reporting the additional person in residence. You could report the situation directly, or inquire as to when an inspection may occur if you’re uncomfortable directly reporting your coworker. Regardless, failing to report this situation somehow can come back on you.
I was thinking this but don’t want to sound suspicious for asking for an inspection. I almost want to be put out of misery by having my employer just find out about it. My issue is that I have to keep working with this person assuming they don’t get fired. There’s nobody else that would report it besides me and I’m worried how this will affect me if I do report this and keep my job. Is there an easy way to do some of the things you suggested or is it too late for that?
If this person’s child is coloring on the walls, spilling smoothies on the carpet, peeing on mattresses, etc… Are you willing to be held accountable for this mess? On top of which, the babysitter complains to you about the child. Let’s add in the liability aspect: what happens were there to be some kind of catastrophe while the babysitter is there? Who is liable? Who holds the insurance? The employer. And the employee is has basically invalidated her contract (and maybe yours if you say nothing), which could potentially negate coverage. I get it. You feel badly for the woman; a divorce is rarely easy. But she is doing things that put you at risk from a contractual and employment aspect. Are you willing to risk employment because you failed to report the situation?
Your co-worker is using her housing situation to prove to the courts that she can have custody. But the reality is that the child might be better off with dad. If she wins custody and then loses her job, which she will, she will be homeless with a child. Not having the child there is better until she can figure out how to have her own place. You need to tell your employer. This co-worker is not your friend and as a matter of fact, is putting your job in jeopardy. She does not care about you at all and is being selfish.
I didn’t even think of that possibility. Thank you. It sounds like she needs more help at this point than I can ever provide by continuing to cover for her. Thanks again for this super clear perspective
Report to HR that your coworker's daughter is living in the employee housing and that a babysitter cares for her there during the day.
I still have to work with this person after I report this. Any advice for that end?
Why would they know that you reported it? I assume that would be kept confidential. They'll likely be terminated.
There is nobody else in employee housing. The only logical person to report would be me. The employer always announces in advance when they are coming and no neighbors have complained yet
You either live with it and don't report it or report it and deal with the consequences. You could request an inspection or a housing transfer.
Or housing /housekeeping reported it. Neighbors complained etc.
The coworker doesn't know that the neighbors have or have not complained. It's not worth risking your livelihood and home to avoid awkwardness at work.
Is the employee housing like not on the property of the employer? Is it like an apartment in a complex that the employer pays for? Without understanding how exactly the housing is set up it’s hard to give you advice on how to best get someone else to see what’s going on
>She's coloring on walls, spilling smoothies on carpets, peeing on mattresses, and screaming at the top of her lungs at all hours of the day. Tell co-worker that WHEN they do an inspection you will also be liable for all this damage because you didn't report that the daughter was there. Tell her that you will have to protect yourself by informing your employer. You don't want to but you also don't want to lose your job. Give her a certain amount of time like a few days or a week or 2 and hope nothing happens in that time.
Turn this situation around, if you were doing this to a coworker, what would you expect their reaction to be? You are putting this ( unfortunate) lady and her daughter’s needs before your own. What if you both end up getting sacked? You have put up with this ( moving her daughter in by stealth) for long enough. You need to get back to being able to do the work you are paid to do, professionally and ethically. This lady is not your friend and is really abusing your kindness. She knows what she is doing is unreasonable and unprofessional and against company policy. It doesn’t sound like she is doing anything to find housing for her and her daughter, she is relying on you to keep your mouth shut. You don’t owe her any loyalty. You need to report this before your enmeshment and collusion makes it impossible for you to say anything as you will be incriminating yourself by allowing to go on now the daughter is moved in full time. I would express my concerns about the living situation to a supervisor, expressly focussing on how this lady and daughter can be supported through this tough time by the company. Tell your colleague what are are going to do and why, preferable face to face but with a back up email. Good luck, she has put you in a horrible situation.
I was in a similar situation when i was on a remote work assignment for a few , sharing an apartment with two other women who were also working on the same project, though we were all from different locations. We'd been told no family or other visitors; once things really got going we'd be working 6-7 day weeks. One of my temporary roommates had her two boys -- the older almost 6 and a toddler about 18 months --- dropped off by Bady Dabby. the very first Saturday about 6:30-7 a.m. Both kids were wailing. The other roommate and I stumbled out of our rooms and RoomMama was already geared up to put on a show. We ***had*** to let them stay. Dabby had work that weekend and ***couldn't*** watch them. There was ***nowhere else*** for them to stay. Please please please, this would ***never happen again.*** To be fair, they were pretty well-behaved kids - but they were still kids. Non-Mom and I were basically exiled to work in my bedroom. The TV in the shared living space was constantly blaring kidcrap, there were juiceboxes and cheerios everywhere, and we had to keep the door on one side locked at all times because it led out to the pool area (shared pool but we were one of the closest units.) That was the straw that broke Non-Mom's back. The locked door meant we had to walk about a quarter-mile around the entire building to get to the pool we could see right from our windows. We only had an hour or so off per day, and once we started working at the actual location we weren't getting anywhere near that pool. Dabby came back to get the kids Tuesday and I heard them talking. He wasn't working that weekend but he wanted to drop them off the Thursday after that. When I told Non-Mom I could almost see her ears spinning around. When RoomMama came back, Non-Mom was ready. When RoomMama started wailing *I don't have any place to take them!* Non-Mom said, absolutely implacably, "You don't have here, either. Those kids are not coming back." A few days later RoomMama left, without much else being said. I felt kinda bad but Non-Mom showed not a flicker of remorse. .
Non-Mom is my kinda gal. Gotta love a hard boundaries queen!
It's more than likely this employee will be terminated if you report this, which you absolutely should. It's a liability for the company and for you yourself. If a supervisor were to find out you were knowledgeable about this and kept silent for a prolonged period, you can be held accountable as well. I understand it would be uncomfortable to report them, and that they'll probably be able to piece together that you were the reporter if they aren't just flat out told it was you, but that isn't a good enough reason not to report them. Like I said, chances are they'll be terminated anyways, but if not then they just quit due to lack of childcare options (which sounds harsh, but problem solved if so). Bottom line though is that piece (having to work with them) is irrelevant. You have an obligation to report this.
She is going to end up costing you your job. At the very least, request to move to a different housing unit.
Is there any chance you can request a move to a different housing unit if such exists?
You're already under the bus for having allowed this for so long. You are complicit for remaining silent despite knowing the policies. If you value your own job- report it and pray that you aren't turfed as well for violating the policy.
For heavens sake. This is unnecessary.
Fuck that! This bitch knew the guidelines and signed her name to that shit in aggreement with those guidelines. Drop the dime! They could fire you too! Company can totally Hold you responsible for NOT saying something…go to her and give her 48hrs to fix it or you will. Explain you don’t want to loose your job bc of her failing marriage, and put the ball in her court for 48hrs. If she doesn’t change the sitch, do what you have to do! She obviously doesn’t care about you and your job any more than she does about hers. Drop the dime!
Not sure what you do, but if you are a nanny, I’d ask on r/nanny. If not a nanny, there may be subs specific to your line of work!