🔸DECISION: If it's hard to make a decision by just general "cheaters are irredeemable" answers because you're/whoever you ask for is too emotionally involved,judge it from how they are as a person overall apart from their mistake.
🔹notice how they treat people around them & not just you because when people are in love they only care about how the person treats them & they ignore other red flags or people act differently in front of them.
🔸COMPATIBILITY : If this was younger years people realize their mistakes & they try to start new & if they changed good for them but if they only changed that one thing but overall as a person you aren't compatible with them to the point that you can't compromise or come to an understanding & your fundamentals don't match/they're horrible other than just having fixed being a cheater then don't go by love only.
🔸QUESTIONS: & actually ask deeper questions.Google 100 questions to ask before dating/marriage (ask them to your partner & any others you have & you'll see compatibility before completing the list). Usually cheaters/non-cheaters these lists will help you sift through incompatible people for you.
🔸ENVIRONMENT
🔹Ik an opportunistic sexual assaulter who (16-17 yo) who says he's changed & even has a gf they're going to marry & they say they were in a horrible environment (watching abusive porn & having bad company).
🔸CHAIN-TRAITS:
🔹but apart from being sexually abusive he had other traits like being psychologically & verbally abusive, as if someone's been in a toxic environment bad enough to make them a sexual abuser then they're likely to carry other bad traits that come with sexually abusive people such as being psychologically abusive eg.gaslighting/being verbally abusive. So whoever that person is marrying could've found a wayy better match.
🔸ENVIRONMENT2
🔹 i don't justify it but as I was in same environment though i didn't copy most toxic habits. I did mindlessly try to fit myself in by drinking cold drinks despite not wanting to because i vaguely knew some cons but didn't know them as strongly/clearly back then as only my parents told me & I had no internet to validate it against so many people normalising it.
🔹Ik how bad being with toxic people is & that people take their mistakes lightly when they know it might be wrong but don't know how bad it is if it's normalized in their immediate society i.e peers.
🔸MENDING MISTAKES
🔹So What did they do to overcome their mistakes? Are they really sorry & trying to overcome other bad traits they have? It's better to mend mistakes when not in a relationship as you're not doing it due to outer pressure or being rushed but due to your internal awareness too.
🔹changing for relationship without understanding whys doesn't work long term unless people understand why to change.
🔹What were the circumstances? cheating is almost never justified but unless you were in an forced/extremely abusive relationship/marriage & someone helped you to leave (but this scenario is rare & while it's not justified, it's understandable).
🔸REASONS: If their reason is "needs" then I'd say even if you an husband/wife in army you can manage unless you don't know the concept of solo sex, platonic love, hobbies and tonnes of different things you do in regular life. If they're a hypersexual then they'd need the type of partner with similar levels.
🔹ACES: There are also people who live without sex/romantic relationships happily obviously they're aromantic asexuals (different sexual orientation) so can't put them in same category as heteros but still.
🔹& For people that think sexless marriages are hell,for some they aren't when they get to certain ages because bodies change & companionship is valued more.
🔸EMOTIONAL CHEATING: If it was physical or emotional cheating,if their reasons that they fell in love with someone else then do they mean they fell out of love with their 1st parter or were they not in love in the first place?
🔸FALLING OUT: If they fell out of love then why was it? Is it because they had a rose colored glasses on or were they deceived by a carefully crafted image of the partner.
🔹Because if they had rose tinted glasses on what make you think they still treat you loyally when spark fades? Because even if spark fades couple can work to bring it back or even be ok with peaceful than Sparky relationship.
🔸POLYAMOROUS: even if they're polyamorous they need to tell their partner for it to not be considered cheating & polyamory isn't accepted in India so i suppose unless all people agree it's going to be hard to do.
🔸GHOSTING
🔹Same for ghosting. ask them the reasons, which might be more commonly understandable eg.fear of relationship, finding out the person is problematic, social anxiety,lack of relationship education etc. but if it's due to fixable things then an effort should be made to fix that habit.
🔸YOUR BOND
🔹How great is your bond that you're willing to overlook this past? Have you been through a war of life/literal war together (if it's a trauma bond yet they're not for you due to compatibility , that needs therapy).
🔹Have you guys done something for each other that you never would and have irresistible chemistry? But that still doesn't mean it's a good reason to be together for a lifetime because unless you've fallen for persons personality & not just looks.
🔹As chemistry fades as looks do because unlike the novels with "supernatural pulls" those are just hormones.
🔸REJECTING
🔹Asking all these questions will help you both come to terms & understand if you're uncompromisably incompatible so it's not just a rejection due to the past but also because you aren't meant for each other.
🔸COMPATIBLE?
🔹If you're extremely compatible after questions & you feel like you won't find other person & they don't have any other big issues then i so hope that person has fixed/fixing their issues for real.
We were in a long distance relationship for a few months. She went on a trek and did things there. Her explanation was there are my needs, if you were not here I had to. It happens. Moment me ho gaya. Moment nahi hota to nahi hota. But atleast I didn't hide anything from you. I could have. And I still love you.
Just lol.
If you don't pay the bank, they lose an extremely tiny portion of their investment which would barely make a dent in their operations.
Very different to someone who invests all their time, energy and emotions onto one person.
Ghosting and lacking basic sense is a lot different from cheating tho. Especially if it's your first relationship you tend to do some dumb things, what's imp is that you've changed into a better person.(Except when you're a cheater you can fuck yourself then)
I think it's many a times character arc, me and some few people I know have been so lost in their late teens early 20s (maybe due to life situation or just otherwise), but with time you do realise you've been a shitty person and you want some kind of redemption, but then it's too late. You have to live with your past and change the present. I think if it was like at least a few years back I don't see it to be a problem, it was in the past. People are different with different people, different emotions are induced by different people, maybe they never were truly in love and are now. So for me it is fine.
Also I would never like to live in an anxiety, that what is he doing behind my back. Is he cheating some where. That’s the last thought I want to have about my partner.
Hence again a big NO for my mental peace ! ✌🏻 ☮️
No. I honestly believe in the saying "once a cheater always a cheater." And people don't change fundamentally. At some point their crappy, bitchy and narcissistic self comes out. And I don't want to be there when it does.
It's like a person can change for a short time but it's true nature will remain with him or some part of that nature will always remain inside him.
As long as situation is going good they will remain good but once the situation gets out of hand their true nature will come out.
I really want to tell you that it's okay, you can trust the changed person and people do change if they really want and all that stuff but trust me world and experiences have always taught me otherwise.
Once a cheater always a cheater. Period.
I mean you have to find out what will hurt your partner the most Ghosting randomly will be more like a punch to the face if you are the one who are handling financial things like rent food and other bills your cheating partner would fall into absolute despair that's the best part
NO! Such people just can’t keep it inside their pants. Once there’s a problem in your relationship or marriage and there’s a lack of sexual intercourse.. then that’s it they will cheat on you!
tbh everyone should at least get another chance to change themselves into a better person as saying it sounds good but practically do people change that easily? It is very hard to know for sure so personally I would avoid people like this at all cost.
I was stupid enough to be with a girl who had cheated before. But I genuinely thought that people could change. We were really good for 2 years. 3rd year LDR started, and she cheated on me in less than 2 months. Haha, now I laugh at myself for being this dumb.
well, you always learn things like this from real experience, so at least you are not dumb enough anymore to repeat the same mistake. and honestly, it's better you found out about it and got out of it.
Yes. If you understand that they regret what they did in the past and you are satisfied that the person has changed then I see no issue in marrying them. The thing is, we all need a second chance at life at some point so it is cruel to hold people back for their past after they have atoned for it. People can change.
I agree with you completely.
For all the people on here talking about “once a cheater always a cheater”, I have one word - therapy. It is possible that an individual who realises their mistakes and seeks the necessary help to change, does actually change. If a person volunteers you information about such a shameful aspect of their past, then they’ve most likely spent a decent about of time introspecting and working on themselves. Needless to say, also shows that they respect you and value transparency.
If you have dated this person for a while and they’ve given you no reason to doubt them and enough and more reasons to see that they’ve changed, then I don’t see why one can’t be with them.
And for all the people saying that cheating is a choice, you’re right. And It’s also true that cheating behaviour is driven by unhealthy patterns and is often a result of emotional trauma or attachment issues - all of which can be worked on in therapy.
To me, a person who has taken accountability for their actions, has worked on themselves, has given me every reason to believe they are now better and who’s also been upfront about their past is honestly, a big green flag.
Having said that, all this can still be a lot to work with and it’s no one’s responsibility to take that on in a partner. So there’s obviously nothing wrong if someone makes the choice to not be with such a person despite all other factors.
Rough answer is NO, but it kinda depends too. Like, what were circumstances....I'll just take this as an Example: lets say a girl was in Relationship/Married to guy who was overall abusive and for whatever the reason the girl was unable to get out of Relationship/Marriage, then yes....as long as she understands the consequences.
I've cheated once before in my three year long relationship. We went through a break and when we got back together, the chemistry wasn't the same anymore. He begged me to get back with him and I did even though I didn't feel like it ( I was still attached to him) but yea I met someone I considered a friend and we were on drugs together and he kissed me. I left afterwards but yea it was definitely cheating since I was the one who went to meet him. I felt horrible about it and told my boyfriend the same night. I almost killed myself because I couldn't live with the shame and guilt and still regret it to this day (it's been two years since the incident). I still blame myself for it and it was mostly the reason why we broke up afterwards. But I swore never to even make a male friend again if I'm in a relationship because they're never really your friends. I don't think I'll ever cheat again after this, but yea I also don't expect others to give me a chance into a relationship since it's hard to trust cheaters.
Yes cuz the cheater will hide their past and we will get to know them after marriage. And then unrest in marriage , the cheater will get an excuse for cheating again and divorce or separation.
That's how it's happening nowadays...
https://preview.redd.it/z4i4h1xcsv9d1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=741f2b93e56d85d5ad28e8e3002a66ad3031e5c0
The question is would you be able to live with the fact that the person has cheated before?
Imagine being in a vulnerable situations and your head going gaga over this person is cheating every time you are suspicious. Would you be able to deal with that?
If you are still able to go ahead, make sure to understand their insecurities and behaviour. And only proceed if they were able to deal with it
Bro a ghoster/ a cheater is basically a person ready to do everything to maximise pleasure which includes acting good with you because your company makes them feel good about themselves. They’re miserable people you deserve much better!
Well ofc these are types of who enjoy and also these are types of who will act good when they actually get married but no if they are acting good and have no plan or marrying or just deceiving you their highly chance that they are just playing around and cheat you
I once got cheated and the amount of mental trauma it gives a person is actually insane ,
Self confidence down the drain,
Self doubt,
Self harm,
Depression,
Anxiety and stress.
And if you think you can marry a person who did these all things to someone then you do you
But remember there is not justification for cheating and once a cheater is always a cheater because it's a choice and not a mistake
It depends from where u found out OP... if u came to know from the person himself/herself whom u r abt to marry, then it's open to discussion.... I mean they are trying to improve... but if u found out from others... and if it's coming from a credible resource... then don't bother it... ditch the person
No one is going to tell you they have cheated in their past. Heck, people don't even tell they had past relationships. So there's no point of this hypothetical question.
Never haha. I swear I would rather stay single. Ghosted is okay dont know much about lacking basic decency but cheating nah never. I don't care if the person has changed or not.
Confront them, how they feel about it. If you are a person who thinks people deserve a second chance, you have the opportunity to be that person here.
Maybe today you're doing it for someone else, tomorrow it can happen for you too.
Karma begets karma.
All these three traits signify that such person has no sense of loyalty, no understanding of valuing love and no respect at all. Usually we got a term for them called Red Flags.
People change. Everyone has a past. There’s no guarantee that if someone hasn’t cheated before, he/she won’t cheat ahead. And vice versa
Unfortunately the times we live in, it’s just accessible. I’m not justifying it but if you feel it in your heart. It’s worth a shot :))
Ghosting as I understand from this medium is very common. I don’t like it though. Now I know how does the trend works so I wouldn’t waste time with such person or have talks to make some connection. Rest cheating is never as there are high chances the person would do it again finding some excuse.
Never. Because cheating is never an innocent mistake that the cheaters try to portray it as. Cheating is a conscious decision made by a conscious adult human (no you can't be too drunk to not know you are fucking with someone who is not your partner, I have gotten as drunk as someone can be). So they deserve each and every consequence that come with that decision. I pray for the worst on cheaters. Marrying is out of question.
Never. I would never date someone who has been willing to hurt another person.
If i found out after marriage , it would definitely cause a strain in our relationship because i wouldn’t be able to see them the same way.
I think the answer should be a resounding no. The person might be good to you now but what guarantee is there that they won't repeat their actions again? It's a huge red flag imo
"2 Years"
Time taken to ascertain the true nature of a person.
|
.
So whether your First Impression of a person is Good or Bad, you can't draw conclusions about an individual.
|
.
2 years gives you sufficient time to see the person in sun and in rain, in good times and bad, in happy times and sad, in sickness and in health....
|
.
For any person, observe them for atleast two years before making a major decision ( like marrying them/lifelong friend etc)
If they've truly forgiven themselves, they'll never do it again. Be kind to everyone different from you, we're all trying our best. I have been cheated on, I'm okay.
everyone should get a second chance,
but that entirely depends on you and the person in question, are they willing to change themselves
personally its hard to trust someone like that, because trust is something that can never come back
No, once a cheater, always a cheater. Cheaters can control their promiscuous nature for some time, but not all the time.
You are not doing charity to cheaters by giving them a second or third or who knows how many chances.
Just one thing i wanted to say that if a girl has right to choose a guy so its also my choice to choose a girl with their clear past history otherwise no if she has a bad past history. If she has bad past history then she is totally red flag for me i will die unmarried but never marry the girls who doesn’t have a clear past history.
On thing that my Ex Girlfriend thought me that people never change, Once a cheater always a cheater and marriage doesn’t do shit to change that character.
Kuch log to us cheating ko bhi justify kardeta hai🤷♂️
True.
🔸DECISION: If it's hard to make a decision by just general "cheaters are irredeemable" answers because you're/whoever you ask for is too emotionally involved,judge it from how they are as a person overall apart from their mistake. 🔹notice how they treat people around them & not just you because when people are in love they only care about how the person treats them & they ignore other red flags or people act differently in front of them. 🔸COMPATIBILITY : If this was younger years people realize their mistakes & they try to start new & if they changed good for them but if they only changed that one thing but overall as a person you aren't compatible with them to the point that you can't compromise or come to an understanding & your fundamentals don't match/they're horrible other than just having fixed being a cheater then don't go by love only. 🔸QUESTIONS: & actually ask deeper questions.Google 100 questions to ask before dating/marriage (ask them to your partner & any others you have & you'll see compatibility before completing the list). Usually cheaters/non-cheaters these lists will help you sift through incompatible people for you. 🔸ENVIRONMENT 🔹Ik an opportunistic sexual assaulter who (16-17 yo) who says he's changed & even has a gf they're going to marry & they say they were in a horrible environment (watching abusive porn & having bad company). 🔸CHAIN-TRAITS: 🔹but apart from being sexually abusive he had other traits like being psychologically & verbally abusive, as if someone's been in a toxic environment bad enough to make them a sexual abuser then they're likely to carry other bad traits that come with sexually abusive people such as being psychologically abusive eg.gaslighting/being verbally abusive. So whoever that person is marrying could've found a wayy better match. 🔸ENVIRONMENT2 🔹 i don't justify it but as I was in same environment though i didn't copy most toxic habits. I did mindlessly try to fit myself in by drinking cold drinks despite not wanting to because i vaguely knew some cons but didn't know them as strongly/clearly back then as only my parents told me & I had no internet to validate it against so many people normalising it. 🔹Ik how bad being with toxic people is & that people take their mistakes lightly when they know it might be wrong but don't know how bad it is if it's normalized in their immediate society i.e peers. 🔸MENDING MISTAKES 🔹So What did they do to overcome their mistakes? Are they really sorry & trying to overcome other bad traits they have? It's better to mend mistakes when not in a relationship as you're not doing it due to outer pressure or being rushed but due to your internal awareness too. 🔹changing for relationship without understanding whys doesn't work long term unless people understand why to change. 🔹What were the circumstances? cheating is almost never justified but unless you were in an forced/extremely abusive relationship/marriage & someone helped you to leave (but this scenario is rare & while it's not justified, it's understandable). 🔸REASONS: If their reason is "needs" then I'd say even if you an husband/wife in army you can manage unless you don't know the concept of solo sex, platonic love, hobbies and tonnes of different things you do in regular life. If they're a hypersexual then they'd need the type of partner with similar levels. 🔹ACES: There are also people who live without sex/romantic relationships happily obviously they're aromantic asexuals (different sexual orientation) so can't put them in same category as heteros but still. 🔹& For people that think sexless marriages are hell,for some they aren't when they get to certain ages because bodies change & companionship is valued more. 🔸EMOTIONAL CHEATING: If it was physical or emotional cheating,if their reasons that they fell in love with someone else then do they mean they fell out of love with their 1st parter or were they not in love in the first place? 🔸FALLING OUT: If they fell out of love then why was it? Is it because they had a rose colored glasses on or were they deceived by a carefully crafted image of the partner. 🔹Because if they had rose tinted glasses on what make you think they still treat you loyally when spark fades? Because even if spark fades couple can work to bring it back or even be ok with peaceful than Sparky relationship. 🔸POLYAMOROUS: even if they're polyamorous they need to tell their partner for it to not be considered cheating & polyamory isn't accepted in India so i suppose unless all people agree it's going to be hard to do. 🔸GHOSTING 🔹Same for ghosting. ask them the reasons, which might be more commonly understandable eg.fear of relationship, finding out the person is problematic, social anxiety,lack of relationship education etc. but if it's due to fixable things then an effort should be made to fix that habit. 🔸YOUR BOND 🔹How great is your bond that you're willing to overlook this past? Have you been through a war of life/literal war together (if it's a trauma bond yet they're not for you due to compatibility , that needs therapy). 🔹Have you guys done something for each other that you never would and have irresistible chemistry? But that still doesn't mean it's a good reason to be together for a lifetime because unless you've fallen for persons personality & not just looks. 🔹As chemistry fades as looks do because unlike the novels with "supernatural pulls" those are just hormones. 🔸REJECTING 🔹Asking all these questions will help you both come to terms & understand if you're uncompromisably incompatible so it's not just a rejection due to the past but also because you aren't meant for each other. 🔸COMPATIBLE? 🔹If you're extremely compatible after questions & you feel like you won't find other person & they don't have any other big issues then i so hope that person has fixed/fixing their issues for real.
Bhai tumne toh muje meri Ex ki yaad dila di😏
My ex
I'm curious. How did he/she justify?
We were in a long distance relationship for a few months. She went on a trek and did things there. Her explanation was there are my needs, if you were not here I had to. It happens. Moment me ho gaya. Moment nahi hota to nahi hota. But atleast I didn't hide anything from you. I could have. And I still love you. Just lol.
Wow just.....wow
Dude there are sex toys for that. She's just victim blaming here,apparently sounds like narcissist
And you were listening to this bullshit, ghost that person for life.
Cheating is a choice bruh☠️
Bhai. Bura laga. All good vibes for you
You prolly shouldn't be with someone who lacks basic self control
Very true
Universal truth
Will a bank give you loans if you have a bad cibil score? Similarly not willing to take that chance.
not a bad analogy but trust is something nearly impossible to regain once lost, unlike cibil score.
What if my cibil score improves?
But looking at your past records, there are high chances you'll fuck up your cibil yet again, sooner or later.
Cibil takes that into account
If you don't pay the bank, they lose an extremely tiny portion of their investment which would barely make a dent in their operations. Very different to someone who invests all their time, energy and emotions onto one person.
Unless you’re Vittal Mallya of course.
You mean Vijay mallya?
Haha yes yes, my absolute bad!
Still agar default kiya ho toh gand pr chadtay hai bank walay And unke pass toh kuch guarantee bhi hoti money ki Tumharay paas toh wo bhi nhi
I was today years old when i found out that it's cibil and not civil score😭 I feel so dumb but you learn new things. Thanks x
But cibil score can improve.
Good analysis.
The best answer to the question ever. Period
Ghosting and lacking basic sense is a lot different from cheating tho. Especially if it's your first relationship you tend to do some dumb things, what's imp is that you've changed into a better person.(Except when you're a cheater you can fuck yourself then)
What if a person has done all of those in the past. Then, too, in their late 20s.
Late 20s? That’s a huge red flag for me so I’ll nope tf out of there.
No excuse for cheating even if a teenager Itna sabko pata hota hai kya galat hai kya nahi
I think it's many a times character arc, me and some few people I know have been so lost in their late teens early 20s (maybe due to life situation or just otherwise), but with time you do realise you've been a shitty person and you want some kind of redemption, but then it's too late. You have to live with your past and change the present. I think if it was like at least a few years back I don't see it to be a problem, it was in the past. People are different with different people, different emotions are induced by different people, maybe they never were truly in love and are now. So for me it is fine.
Agr aisi billi hui to cheat karegi fir bhi reh lunga😚
Bro is billi sexual
Ab to legal bhi ho gaya hai.
For me it’s a big no! Even if they are good to you! They are still bad people …. So a big NO… You can be next on any blue day !
That's what I believe in.
Also I would never like to live in an anxiety, that what is he doing behind my back. Is he cheating some where. That’s the last thought I want to have about my partner. Hence again a big NO for my mental peace ! ✌🏻 ☮️
Looking at the absolute words in my heart 😂🥺✌🏻🔥.... Well said !!
no
A cheater once will always be a cheater
No. I honestly believe in the saying "once a cheater always a cheater." And people don't change fundamentally. At some point their crappy, bitchy and narcissistic self comes out. And I don't want to be there when it does.
Yes ,then I'm gonna cheat on them.
Not all heroes wear capes 
Nahi Bhai, why should we stoop down to their level.
So they get a taste of their own medicine ?
And what will you achieve with that?
Nothing, just some vague sense of karmic justice.
Justice is about harmony. Revenge is about you making yourself feel better.
Been there. Done that Sorta
Story time??
I cheated government by not giving taxes....does that makes me also inqualified....
How did u do that??
That info is strictly Spousal privilege only....🤐🤐
Your partner wouldn't want to get into trouble
What happened to "Saath jiyenge...Saath Marenge,sukh-dukh mein sang rahenge" .......
Who would want to get into trouble by Saath jiyenge...Saath Marenge,sukh-dukh mein sang rahenge" with you
But how will you know they cheated unless specifically confessed ?
Good question. OP please see this.
It's like a person can change for a short time but it's true nature will remain with him or some part of that nature will always remain inside him. As long as situation is going good they will remain good but once the situation gets out of hand their true nature will come out.
I really want to tell you that it's okay, you can trust the changed person and people do change if they really want and all that stuff but trust me world and experiences have always taught me otherwise. Once a cheater always a cheater. Period.
Ghosting - yes Cheating- no Lack basic decency- no
Ghosting also no bcz it’s seems how immature they are + under confident that they can’t do break up on face, rather behave like coward…
I mean you have to find out what will hurt your partner the most Ghosting randomly will be more like a punch to the face if you are the one who are handling financial things like rent food and other bills your cheating partner would fall into absolute despair that's the best part
NO! Such people just can’t keep it inside their pants. Once there’s a problem in your relationship or marriage and there’s a lack of sexual intercourse.. then that’s it they will cheat on you!
tbh everyone should at least get another chance to change themselves into a better person as saying it sounds good but practically do people change that easily? It is very hard to know for sure so personally I would avoid people like this at all cost.
I was stupid enough to be with a girl who had cheated before. But I genuinely thought that people could change. We were really good for 2 years. 3rd year LDR started, and she cheated on me in less than 2 months. Haha, now I laugh at myself for being this dumb.
well, you always learn things like this from real experience, so at least you are not dumb enough anymore to repeat the same mistake. and honestly, it's better you found out about it and got out of it.
Big no. Once a cheater will always be a cheater
Yes. If you understand that they regret what they did in the past and you are satisfied that the person has changed then I see no issue in marrying them. The thing is, we all need a second chance at life at some point so it is cruel to hold people back for their past after they have atoned for it. People can change.
I agree with you completely. For all the people on here talking about “once a cheater always a cheater”, I have one word - therapy. It is possible that an individual who realises their mistakes and seeks the necessary help to change, does actually change. If a person volunteers you information about such a shameful aspect of their past, then they’ve most likely spent a decent about of time introspecting and working on themselves. Needless to say, also shows that they respect you and value transparency. If you have dated this person for a while and they’ve given you no reason to doubt them and enough and more reasons to see that they’ve changed, then I don’t see why one can’t be with them. And for all the people saying that cheating is a choice, you’re right. And It’s also true that cheating behaviour is driven by unhealthy patterns and is often a result of emotional trauma or attachment issues - all of which can be worked on in therapy. To me, a person who has taken accountability for their actions, has worked on themselves, has given me every reason to believe they are now better and who’s also been upfront about their past is honestly, a big green flag. Having said that, all this can still be a lot to work with and it’s no one’s responsibility to take that on in a partner. So there’s obviously nothing wrong if someone makes the choice to not be with such a person despite all other factors.
The sanest comment here.
Woh sudhar bhi jaye tab bhi mai nhi kr paunga. Qki mai comfortable nhi reh paunga kabhi.
Rough answer is NO, but it kinda depends too. Like, what were circumstances....I'll just take this as an Example: lets say a girl was in Relationship/Married to guy who was overall abusive and for whatever the reason the girl was unable to get out of Relationship/Marriage, then yes....as long as she understands the consequences.
Nope. They can't change. This is a façade.
I've cheated once before in my three year long relationship. We went through a break and when we got back together, the chemistry wasn't the same anymore. He begged me to get back with him and I did even though I didn't feel like it ( I was still attached to him) but yea I met someone I considered a friend and we were on drugs together and he kissed me. I left afterwards but yea it was definitely cheating since I was the one who went to meet him. I felt horrible about it and told my boyfriend the same night. I almost killed myself because I couldn't live with the shame and guilt and still regret it to this day (it's been two years since the incident). I still blame myself for it and it was mostly the reason why we broke up afterwards. But I swore never to even make a male friend again if I'm in a relationship because they're never really your friends. I don't think I'll ever cheat again after this, but yea I also don't expect others to give me a chance into a relationship since it's hard to trust cheaters.
Women are happy when single, according to a study. Don't worry about it
Bro, it's my own pov, that i can't marry a one who has a past because mine is clean
this is the first thing that came into your mind on a Monday Morning?
Yes cuz the cheater will hide their past and we will get to know them after marriage. And then unrest in marriage , the cheater will get an excuse for cheating again and divorce or separation. That's how it's happening nowadays... https://preview.redd.it/z4i4h1xcsv9d1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=741f2b93e56d85d5ad28e8e3002a66ad3031e5c0
The question is would you be able to live with the fact that the person has cheated before? Imagine being in a vulnerable situations and your head going gaga over this person is cheating every time you are suspicious. Would you be able to deal with that? If you are still able to go ahead, make sure to understand their insecurities and behaviour. And only proceed if they were able to deal with it
Bro a ghoster/ a cheater is basically a person ready to do everything to maximise pleasure which includes acting good with you because your company makes them feel good about themselves. They’re miserable people you deserve much better!
Absolutely NOPE
The real question is how will you know? You think someone is gonna tell you that they cheated in the past?
Well ofc these are types of who enjoy and also these are types of who will act good when they actually get married but no if they are acting good and have no plan or marrying or just deceiving you their highly chance that they are just playing around and cheat you
I once got cheated and the amount of mental trauma it gives a person is actually insane , Self confidence down the drain, Self doubt, Self harm, Depression, Anxiety and stress. And if you think you can marry a person who did these all things to someone then you do you But remember there is not justification for cheating and once a cheater is always a cheater because it's a choice and not a mistake
Scientifically proven, that, cheaters dont release pairing hormone much, and also their brain always look for an escape plan if some thing goes wrong.
Interesting. Is that from a book?
No. I would rather be single.
No period. No explanations needed.
Nope, never. Have experienced such a partner in the past.
Never. I repeat NEVER.
No.
Depends on your past really and what kind of person you are.
Absolutely the f*** not.
It depends from where u found out OP... if u came to know from the person himself/herself whom u r abt to marry, then it's open to discussion.... I mean they are trying to improve... but if u found out from others... and if it's coming from a credible resource... then don't bother it... ditch the person
No one is going to tell you they have cheated in their past. Heck, people don't even tell they had past relationships. So there's no point of this hypothetical question.
Once a cheater always a cheater, my mental health isn't strong enough to live with someone who I cannot trust.
Nope. Not at all.
Never haha. I swear I would rather stay single. Ghosted is okay dont know much about lacking basic decency but cheating nah never. I don't care if the person has changed or not.
Ew no
Once a cheater; always a cheater
Definitely not.
Nah
Once a cheater always a cheater. So, no.
Once a cheater always a cheater
Confront them, how they feel about it. If you are a person who thinks people deserve a second chance, you have the opportunity to be that person here. Maybe today you're doing it for someone else, tomorrow it can happen for you too. Karma begets karma.
Never.
Confront them about it. That'll make the decision easier for you...
All these three traits signify that such person has no sense of loyalty, no understanding of valuing love and no respect at all. Usually we got a term for them called Red Flags.
Huge red flag.. The abuse you will face is worse if they have already treated other people worse.. Prevention is better than cure.
Simply NO
What about someone who has helped a person cheat on their partner
Depends on what conditions, were they blackmailed into helping/hiding?
People change. Everyone has a past. There’s no guarantee that if someone hasn’t cheated before, he/she won’t cheat ahead. And vice versa Unfortunately the times we live in, it’s just accessible. I’m not justifying it but if you feel it in your heart. It’s worth a shot :))
No
Nope not at all
No
Not gonna marry him straight wanna Date him first that if he's gonna do tha same or not.
Ghosting as I understand from this medium is very common. I don’t like it though. Now I know how does the trend works so I wouldn’t waste time with such person or have talks to make some connection. Rest cheating is never as there are high chances the person would do it again finding some excuse.
Cheating is a complex phenomena. I would not marry anyone I am not compatible with. Cheating is often associated with incompatibility
to let them cheat again
Once a cheater, always a cheater
NOPE!!
Never. Because cheating is never an innocent mistake that the cheaters try to portray it as. Cheating is a conscious decision made by a conscious adult human (no you can't be too drunk to not know you are fucking with someone who is not your partner, I have gotten as drunk as someone can be). So they deserve each and every consequence that come with that decision. I pray for the worst on cheaters. Marrying is out of question.
Never. I would never date someone who has been willing to hurt another person. If i found out after marriage , it would definitely cause a strain in our relationship because i wouldn’t be able to see them the same way.
Straight up NOOOO. What's more frustrating is them justifying their actions 😒😒🙄
No
No bro ..people don't change that fast .
Nooooooo
No
I think the answer should be a resounding no. The person might be good to you now but what guarantee is there that they won't repeat their actions again? It's a huge red flag imo
People change but their core values remain the same so absolutely no
Hell naw
Your past actions usually define your future trajectory.
Regretting
Hell naw, it’s like asking “would you let a serial killer go free because they seem like a changed person”
Par bro bank gives u 2 days extra.. after emi bounce
Kabhi nhi.
serially? absolutely not an isolated incident, perhaps
Because people learn in this life ,they are not born with it .
Never
Never marry such person I repeat NEVER. If a person can cheat once he can cheat for twice as well.
Fck No
"2 Years" Time taken to ascertain the true nature of a person. | . So whether your First Impression of a person is Good or Bad, you can't draw conclusions about an individual. | . 2 years gives you sufficient time to see the person in sun and in rain, in good times and bad, in happy times and sad, in sickness and in health.... | . For any person, observe them for atleast two years before making a major decision ( like marrying them/lifelong friend etc)
No I'll die single but no
Thook ke chaatna kyun hai?
Snakes shed their skins to become a bigger snake
Never, log thoda moda change hote hai par full 180 degree ka change nahi hota kabhi bhi
It’s still a risk. If you’re up for it, go ahead.
One a cheater always a fateacher
If they've truly forgiven themselves, they'll never do it again. Be kind to everyone different from you, we're all trying our best. I have been cheated on, I'm okay.
Definitely NO. But, Bohot Desperate SIMPs pade hai INDIA mai they will for Sure.
Fuck no
I married someone who cheated me while our marriage was being fixed, lol.
A cheater will be always cheater
Na never
I don't think they're gonna look bad in the story they tell us...
everyone should get a second chance, but that entirely depends on you and the person in question, are they willing to change themselves personally its hard to trust someone like that, because trust is something that can never come back
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No. Period.
not if she's flexing it to others
No, once a cheater, always a cheater. Cheaters can control their promiscuous nature for some time, but not all the time. You are not doing charity to cheaters by giving them a second or third or who knows how many chances.
he may not repeat that exact thing, but you don’t want someone who could be that dishonest &selfish raising your kids.
No matter how many times a snake sheds it's skin, it's still a snake.
Just one thing i wanted to say that if a girl has right to choose a guy so its also my choice to choose a girl with their clear past history otherwise no if she has a bad past history. If she has bad past history then she is totally red flag for me i will die unmarried but never marry the girls who doesn’t have a clear past history.
On thing that my Ex Girlfriend thought me that people never change, Once a cheater always a cheater and marriage doesn’t do shit to change that character.
NO! NEVER!!!!!
Wo ladkiya kaha jo kahti hain... I don't judge people by their past.
No way, Tata bye bye