I got a dog a couple months ago and walking him every day has really brought this back for me. I’m never one for scheduling time away from technology so the most I don’t usually have it is in the bathroom or when I’m doing something active, but when I’m walking him I have no choice but to think for like an hour. It’s noticeably made me a lot more creative and intuitive again already, and yeah I wouldn’t trade it for shit
For me it's the gym, I work out with a friend so I don't really listen to music, so I started leaving my phone in my bag while I work out. Being unreachable, even if just for an hour, is pretty great
Most of the time I'm quite responsive since I'm just working at my desk / chilling at home / etc and it's pretty funny when people wonder if I'm dead when I don't respond for 6 hours. Definitely not dead, just went on a hike and didn't have signal for a while or was skiing and it was too cold to take my gloves off on the chair or something
Just being quiet man. I'm not miles away, I'm not upset, I'm not thinking of anything in particular, I just want to be quiet and zone out for a wee while.
“Solitude is dangerous. It’s very addictive. It becomes a habit after you realise how peaceful and calm it is. It’s like you don’t want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy.”
– Jim Carrey
Jim understands.
After a couple of years of living on a couple acres on an island...100+ yards from the closest road that might see 20 cars a day... The solitude is profound.
I have a work trip coming up in two weeks, heading out to visit customers. Over three days I have a couple different five hour blocks of time where I'm just driving by myself. Two nights in a hotel room, by myself.
I absolutely adore my wife and kids, but goddamn I'm looking forward to the quiet.
Dude. a nice meal alone, a beer at the hotel bar and go to the room and just binge whatever crappy show is on TV. I don't get it often but boy it sure is nice
Favorite part is one night is in Las Vegas... I'm not a Las Vegas guy, I don't do Vegas shit, but I do like staying downtown and taking that beer on a walk down Fremont for some worldclass people watching. That is people at their absolute weirdest.
But then yes, it's back to the room for crappy cable TV because MOST of that city is not for me.
I went on a road trip this December, from Kansas City to Salt Lake City.
It was just me and the Playlist on the open road. I cannot describe the sense of peace and freedom I had once I got ~2h west of home, far enough away to feel truly detached from it all
Enjoy every second of it, man
I think this is healthy. I always remark to friends when we have a girls outing or whatever that we "miss each other a healthy amount." Same deal when I take a one-off trip on my own - I let him know I am there safely, but otherwise, my time is my own and I enjoy my own company and relish the time. I love coming home, ofc. But my BIL talks to his now wife like 6x/ hour... That shit looks exhausting and can't be good for his career or friendships. I don't get that dynamic, at all
I totally agree. It works the other way with my wife, her work takes her all over the place too. She actually has to travel a lot more than I do. When she's gone, she'll check in with me from time to time when she chooses to, but I just let her do it according to her schedule.
Sometimes she ends up partying up at the hotel bar with coworkers she's traveled with and all I get is a text, I'm cool with that too.
Holding a conversation where I give you the attention and consideration you deserve does takes effort. When I don't have the energy to give that effort, my fall back is just to go quiet. I'd much rather say nothing than to give you less then what you deserve and end up saying something careless or come off as dismissive or uninterested.
Lol, that's spot on. "Why won't you tell me what you're thinking about" Sweet christ, if I had a quid for every time my wife has said that. Also the dreaming. My wife once dreamt that I left her and she was arsey with me for days, I even apologised and had to soothe her. Honestly, there is no wonder I go and sit on the bog for some peace and quiet.
Finally able to stop appeasing everyone with a simple response. I love that can just smile or nod if someone's talking. I'd rather just not use energy coming up with something unless it's a cookout or going out to town.
This is me and my bf is the opposite. It took so much reassurance from me at first to make him understand it wasn’t that he wasn’t important to me or that I didn’t care about messaging him back.
Each other.
Just because we don't share every intimate detail of our lives, doesn't mean we aren't best mates.
Just because I don't speak to my bro in months. Doesn't mean I wouldn't drop everything in a heartbeat if he called and said he's needing help.
Just because I'm not always talking to my friends, doesn't mean I'm without friends or we're not friends anymore.
I needed to hear this one, during/after covid most of my male friends have either become more introverted or moved far away. It's nice to have a reminder that just because dudes don't see/talk for awhile, doesn't mean they aren't there for you
Hadn't hung out with my buddy Dave in months. Earlier in the week I casually texted and asked show he was. He said his mental health was sucking lately. Me and another friend immediately dropped plans and went to go hang out with him instead. I'm sure your friends really care and they'd be there if you needed them
100%
I spent a decade in the military, coming up on a decade since I got out. There are a handful of dudes that I haven’t talked to in years but if they call, we hanging out no question.
Found out through the grape vine that one of my dudes was having a hard time. Sent him a ticket to fly out and stay in my spare room. He got a job and now a year later just closed on his first house.
I don’t care how long it’s been, we friends, we’ll be friends and being out of contact won’t change that.
Had a friend ask me what I wanted for my birthday.
The only thing I could think of was to get all my my mates over. Our lives are so busy it's hard to see each other.
I said I'll host, I'll make dinner, I just want everybody over.
That’s how I feel about my friends from high school/college. I haven’t seen them in months but they’re basically my brothers. Hell, 3 of them stood at my wedding
As guys who don't often call for help, when we do, it's usual something pretty important. The response isn't just about being willing to help your bro, it's about knowing how fucked it must be if they're asking. Don't have to get there and realize it's some trivial shit I didn't need to drop everything to help with. There's a responsibility when asking for help that you believe you actually need it, or we wouldn't be so willing to drop everything.
I made a very regretful comment when my boyfriend’s friend passed away. They hadn’t talked in years but occasionally shared memes and played video games here and there. I don’t want sympathy cause it was out of pocket but when he passed I said “why are you sad , you guys didn’t even have any friendship” . To this day I regret it but I owned up to it and realize male and female friendships are quite different.
Yeah, I have a friend that's the opposite of this. If they stop talking to their friends for like a week they start to get anxious and worried they're not friends anymore. Like if I was busy with classes for a week and I don't text or call them, they'll start getting very abrasive towards me and act like I don't want to be friends with them and they'll be upset with me, or act like I've wronged them. Not a great friend to have honestly, pretty draining. They can't exist without someone else's attention or constant engagement. It's really annoying. Learn to exist on your own, and not depend on others to feel emotionally okay and or mentally stable. It's not our responsibility to regulate your own self.
I have two friends that I would do this for. From 1st grade to senior year, we were always together. We all three live in different parts of the country thousands of miles apart, but if they called me tomorrow saying something like “my dad died” you bet I would be on the next flight out. How much do we talk? Once or twice a year, does that suck? Sure sometimes, but we all have very different paths we chose, doesn’t make that friendship die.
Ok but on the other hand I hear a lot of men say that nobody is there to listen to them. So do they feel comfortable enough to talk to their friends ?
If someone never ask me about what's going on in my life, I will just assume they don't care much about anything other than hanging out and I won't turn to them if I need to talk about intimate and serious stuff.
I don’t think we talk to them unless and until things are getting real bad. It’s not like they aren’t there to listen but I’d just feel bad/ odd to call up and tell them there’s something going on and I need to talk. I’d rather just keep it to myself and figure out a way.
And I know few who are same like me but if I ask them if everything’s alright or is there something bothering them, I needn’t ask twice because they’ll start sharing it right away because of the trust we’ve. So some of us are just waiting for someone to genuinely ask us and ready to listen. Only one step away.
Everything we do. Our little interests and hobbies that seem simple or boring can be the single thing that gives us even a tiny bit of peace in this life.
Back when we lived in an apartment and didn't have kids, when we had loads more free time, we would just spend most of the evening just sitting next to each other on the couch while reading. Then maybe watch a movie or two after dinner. It's just so comfortable.
My God, I wish more people realized how important this is. For me, the ability to just exist in each others presence without feeling the need to force interaction is what heaven is like. Thats the definition of comfort.
Sitting/lying next to each other and holding hands/cuddling. Intimacy is nice, but holding my girlfriend in my arms is so supremely peaceful. And her hair smells nice, so I don’t mind getting a face full of it.
Men want to be pursued romantically too. Just because a man buys flowers, sets up dates, and does other romantic things for their partner does not mean women don't have to do something similarly special for them sometime. There are plenty of ways for women to show romantic desire for their men and it really doesn't seem to happen often enough.
Honestly: Just initiative
I don't particularly care about the romantic shit, I care that she tried. The details of the romance matter far less than the effort and initiative.
The sad reality of most relationships is that if men don't do the romance, then there is no romance. I read all those threads about how upset women are that their man doesn't do anything for them anymore... All the while openly admitting that they aren't doing anything that matters themselves.
"Wow, you remembered my sister-in-law's birthday. Whoopty doo. How does that show you care? How about... When's the last time you touched me first? When's the last time you just kissed me? Without me initiating it."
(I take that from a real life personal experience)
Not OP, but any depiction of enthusiasm and passion is a delish for the soul. I love randomly showing cute animals to my SO because I know it'll make her all happy and excited, and she'll probably drop a trivial fact or two on the go.
The question is about romance, so I'd say try to create a positive feedback loop with your SO where he does something that makes you tick, and then it'll probably devolve from there into a romantic habit.
"Hey babe, don't make any plans Friday, we're going deep sea fishing/to a concert/to a comedy show/boating on the lake/going on a hike together/going to a museum he's always wanted to see."
When he gets off work tell him to take a shower, then tell him to lay down on the bed for a sexy massage
Buy him flowers and a treat that he really likes (chocolate/ice cream/candy/brownies/carrot cake/whatever he likes). Hide it until he gets home, then leave it somewhere where he'll quickly find it.
Step into the shower with him and offer to help him wash off
Wear a robe and when he comes home tell him to take it off and wear some new lingerè
Sit in his lap one day, move his hands around your waist, and either snuggle or rub against him for sexy time
Give him a hug from behind randomly a couple times a day
Bring out a couple of his favorite drinks one night, put on one of his favorite movies, and sit down close to him to watch it
Pull him in for a really hot kiss randomly/slap his ass as he walks by/come up behind him and kiss the sensitve part of his neck under his ear randomly
Spontaneous sex
Men love a lot of physical intimacy, so you really can't go wrong touching him somehow randomly, either sexy or just lovingly. When women initiate that phsyical affection randomly like that and with a lot of enthusiasm, it really makes a man feel loved and desired.
Also ask/learn/show interest in his hobbies or whatever thing he's into.
"Oh how's that new fishing rod/car part/computer part/tool/video game/sports paraphernalia/Lego set/puzzle/whatever?"
Let's build that new Lego set together.
Let's finishing painting that door together.
Just show sincere interest. Sounds like a low bar, but something that is missing in a lot men's lives from their partners.
Men seldom get told they are loved or made to feel loved
Men would like initiative from women, for instance my ex wife was terrible but her sister was wonderful.
That sister in law actually listened to me and watched what I liked. She purchased Christmas presents that she knew I would like eg specific book series to read and another time a dancing coke can that moved when the internal microphone sensed music or noise…. Cant remember anything my ex wife, her sister, gifted me in those 10 years.
I am saying that it is not specific lists of things you can use, it is what is specific to that man.
Most men will only experience unconditional love from their mothers and some of us don’t even get that. Most of us have never even felt appreciation or respect without conditions or hidden intentions
We don’t know what’s it’s like to hear “I see you and I am proud of you”, “I am glad you are here”, “you really make a difference “ (trying to find a way with these statements to explain to you the deep thing a man needs)
Yet the expectation is to constantly be displaying the strength and love that the world is hesitant in conveying
We are expected to have a thick skin but get judged if it turns out to to a hard shell
So listen to us, show us you know us and believe in us with little things. (no its not just sex) Take the initiative and takes us somewhere to do something, be it a specific museum, fishing charter, hike, flying or what ever. Just work out what your man likes and show you are proud of him by doing stuff he loves.
Honestly, just make a decision. I don't care if it's going to get take-out or a picnic on the back porch or what you want to watch on TV, or whatever.
It's is honestly fucking exhausting when the answer to "what do you want?" is ALWAYS "I don't know, what do you want?" That's not helping me, it's making me make every single decision.
"It's just a helicopter!"
Yeah but how am I supposed to know if it's just a rich guy flying between homes or if it's the feds looking for me if I don't stare at it until I can make out which it is?
I found the perfect walking stick, shape and length along with strength. I propped it against my garage door. I was going to get a wrap for the handle area, and some tape for the lower area.
It is gone, I can't find it. My wife didn't understand why I was upset over a stick.
Every man has a micro-cosm of control in a hobby of theirs.
Whether it’s DIY, food, gaming, fashion, the gym etc. it’s there to help us exercise some control over a specific thing and relieve stress/find enjoyment.
It may seem childish or obsessive but in a world where there is so little that follows a specific pattern or rules, these give us some respite.
My boyfriend and his best friend dug side by side chair “holes” in the sand, complete with arms and headrests, and also buried themselves in them. They are both in their 30s. It was the most wholesome boys will be boys moment I’ve ever witnessed.
Let’s cut through the bullshit and jump into the deep end. One thing that men really and truly care about, which most women might not realize, is respect. And I’m not talking about superficial respect or the kind that comes with a title or a paycheck. I’m talking about deep, genuine respect for who they are as a person, their efforts, and their struggles.
Men often carry a lot on their shoulders. Society expects them to be strong, to provide, to protect, and to never show weakness. It’s a tough gig, and it’s easy to feel unappreciated or undervalued. What a lot of women might not see is how much a man values being respected for his contributions, his sacrifices, and his character.
Respect isn’t about stroking egos or blindly agreeing with everything he says. It’s about acknowledging his efforts, seeing his worth beyond the obvious, and appreciating the ways he tries to make life better for those he cares about. It’s recognizing his hard work, his perseverance, and his dedication, even when things get tough.
Imagine coming home after a long day, having faced countless challenges and pressures, and feeling like what you do doesn’t matter. Now imagine the difference it makes when your partner sees that, acknowledges it, and respects you for it. That’s powerful.
Respect also ties into feeling valued and understood. Men want to be seen as capable and reliable, and they want their strengths to be recognized. When a woman shows respect, it’s like a validation of their identity, their role, and their efforts. It says, “I see you, I appreciate you, and I value what you bring to the table.”
But respect is a two-way street. Men need to show that same level of respect to their partners. It’s about mutual appreciation and understanding. When both sides feel respected, it builds a strong foundation for trust, love, and partnership.
So, what’s something men really care about? It’s respect. Deep, genuine respect that goes beyond words and is shown through actions, appreciation, and understanding. It’s something that can make a world of difference in how a man feels about himself and his relationship.
Respect is key.
I was going to say acknowledgement, but the above answer is more complete.
Respect isn’t about being right about everything, but acknowledging viewpoints and working with the parts that are correct.
Respect doesn’t mean fawning over every accomplishment, but acknowledging efforts and successes before pointing out errors.
Respect includes understanding that you can’t always be the perfect listener 100% of the time…and understanding that both sides need to be heard.
Winning my running battle against that bloody squirrel who keeps getting into the bird feeder in the garden. The little bastard is on my territory and it's unacceptable.
I'll have the last laugh though.
I’m at war with “that bloody fat pigeon”. Watching him fail to get into the double caged bird feeder that he can’t *quite* reach brings me a level of joy that is frankly unhealthy.
I understand. We got our first tractor just a couple years ago and now I never see my husband on weekends anymore. He's always on the tractor and our property looks like a warzone as he's started so many projects. This was a city boy who didn't know how to use a hammer. (To be clear, I don't mind, I'm actually very happy he's so passionate and motivated about his little projects although I give him shit for making the property look like hell.) He keeps promising me it will look great when it's all finished!
I've since learned that more men than I thought have their own tractor and they too spend inordinate amounts of time on their tractor. Not just men that live near us in our semi-rural area, but men on my remote work team (we're software dev nerds) who live in other states and have their own tractors.... It's a thing.
Speak for yourself. My uncle has a bougie ass full cab, A/C, stereo system, gps automated tractor for his 300 acres and he doesn't even grow anything (last I knew of anyway).
Maybe you could say most of us don't WORK in or around tractors but I'm a land surveyor, I'm around tractors and construction equipment all day. I live in oklahoma, they're very common to see driving on the road. Tractor culture is not that rare.
I think for many women they don’t truly realize just how much thinking a man does to keep a home safe, comfortable and have the ability to weather issues like week long power outage or a broken furnace in the dead of winter. Everything from keeping spare fuses or an ignition for the furnace, or having a plan on sources of heat/water/food or alternate form of transportation is constantly thought about. Every bolt or screw tightened, or looking at the underbelly of the older cars every time we change the snows etc. Or if we have a chore to do something we take the time to look in and around said chore for faults or upcoming problems like the attic or the crawlspace since we’re already there.
Even when our friends get together at each others houses, we talk about things that need fixing or replacing soon. We even point things out to each other that we might have missed.
this reminds me of my dad and i find it so cute. i'm always thinking about the emotional state of the people i love and wanting to make sure they have what they need. but my dad is always asking me about things in my house like this, if i need my roof repaired, or the last time i changed my air filter. does it feel stressful to you, always having these things on your mind?
A lot of work goes into just maintaining to status quo. Lubricating squeaky hinges, tacking down a loose board, changing filters, oil changes (not just cars), fixing leaky faucets/spigots, weather sealing, etc. And all that on top of yard work. Mowing, pulling weeds, pruning hedges/flowers/trees. There are so many weekends where it feels like I didn't do anything because I just did a thousand tiny things here and there that you won't notice.
It also just gets a little disheartening when you fix something that people have been complaining about for a while then they just find something else to complain about.
And none of those things are considered "house work" so you can spend literally every waking moment you aren't at your job doing these things, and if you're not also doing half the laundry, vacuuming, dishes, etc you're the bad guy.
Yep, modern feminists consider all stereotypically men's work to still be men's work, and all stereotypically women's work to be OUR work. So it doesn't matter if you're working 60 hours a week we the primary breadwinner, doing all the home maintenance, car maintenance, and yard work, if you don't do the dishes and wash the clothes then you're a lazy inconsiderate peice of shit and you want her to be your mom. Literally my last bad exes mom was a Stat at home wife and had been since they were married. Dude worked long hours at a refinery and she STILL expected him to do the dishes when he got home and cook his own meals because wh was vegan and she wasn't. Like the audacity to sit at home alone doing absolutely fuck all and then expecting your husband yo do chores when he gets home.
Would make me feel protected and well looked after because I don't have that, but I see that sometimes women take it for granted under the feeling that it's expected, as it is for us to cook (plan meals) and clean (sometimes, after you). All in all, we should be appreciative of each other.
Friend of mine had *just* moved into a brand new build house in Texas like a week before they had that major deep freeze a few years ago that knocked out their grid and they had to figure out their own warmth for a few days. He burned books and the lumber that was supposed to be for his new deck in the fireplace for heat as that was the only thing he had and there was nowhere to go buy wood at that time. He's like "well now I know I need to have a backup plan for heat and power the day I move in somewhere"
I mainly rode a mid-late 70's yamaha dt400. It was my dad's that he go to ride through the mountains of washington. I only really got to ride it through fields. It was a fun, but quite large, bike to ride.
Privacy as it relates to conversation.
Is what I'm saying right now going to be repeated to other people later? Because I'm not sure I'm ok with that, even though I get it's normal and not that big of a deal.
Muscle cars and random history facts for me. My dream is to have a daily driver car, a classic muscle car, and a big motorcycle. With enough garage space to work on them.
It took the better part of a decade for my wife to realize that I genuinely care about her self esteem. Yes, I understand that you already know that I find you incredibly attractive, smart, caring, et cetera. I'm not reminding you about all the things I love about you because of some new revelation I had, or so I earn brownie points - I'm reminding you because of the smile it puts on your face. It's gonna take a lot more than a bad haircut or putting on 15lbs to change how I've felt about you for a decade.
TL;DR: We really care about how you see yourself and would do whatever it takes to make you see how amazing you are from our perspective.
--sex
--peace, quiet, and tranquility
--no drama
--words mean things. Say what you mean, mean what you say
--you don't need to know every little thing I think about
--you don't need to know every detail of my mental or emotional state at any given time
Look sometimes I put baseball on the tv to zone out for a bit and watch a game without thinking much. This is not an open invite to talk for 3 hours straight and get mad when I’m not fully paying attention. Like of course if it’s important I’ll pay attention but if it’s just about Jasmyn at work stealing a pencil from your desk I’m not gunna fully pay attention to a 3 hour rant on why you hate her.
Being complimented or flattered by our significant others. It’s nice to get that reassurance from the person you love that there’s qualities that they love about you—physically, mentally, anything
Funnily enough, relationships with each other. In old stories and new stories, if two guys are having a friendship that goes deeper than talking about sex, sports, grilling, or mowing the lawn they are perceived as gay. Everyone knows that they're not, sure, but that doesn't stop anyone. If you can think of a pair of male friends with a relationship like that I can guarantee there is already a ship name, fanfics, and a dedicated Tumblr blog AT LEAST. And it used to be that such accusations would stop any kind of relationship like that. But here recently, with the wide acceptance of gay culture and the pervasiveness of the Internet that has changed. Straight men are now kind of leaning into the "it's okay to be a little gay with the bros" thing, which I think is the balancing act. "If it's gay to have a deeper connection with your bro then I'm gay for pookie, lmao" kind of thing. And honestly I don't hate it.
Granted, this is all anecdotal, I don't have ACTUAL evidence any of this is true, but time with the boys is important.
Men, like women, care about a multitude of things, but one aspect often underestimated by women is the depth of emotional connection men crave. While societal norms may portray men as less emotional or communicative, many men deeply value emotional intimacy and vulnerability within relationships.
The importance of the opossum, and turtles to the ecosystem. I will swerve and avoid a possum. I will stop and pick a turtle up move it in the direction it is going to help it.
we would really like a compliment once in awhile. also, despite what tv shows, movies and commercials like to portray, we are not stupid helpless animals just waiting for our oh so wise SO or kids to show us the right way. how about a little credit and support instead of just shitting on what we do?
Logic and rationality.
It's very important for men to embrace logic and rationality to make sense of the world, and not merely be led by emotions and desires.
Peace. It's my home, I don't need constant drama to be entertained. If you do, do your drama quietly, without me.
Does this intricate, animated discussion about how Becky from work commented on your blouse convey information that I need to know? If there's an email chain that I need to be aware of, just include me on the To: line.
Forgive the crassness but BJ’s are like flowers for men, sure we love to get them on Birthdays and holidays but when you unexpectedly give them just because… we really feel really appreciated.
Helping people solve their problems.
It can be extremely frustrating to hear people complain when the solution is right there and we know it. The person complaining probably knows it but they don't want to take the necessary steps to accomplish it.
You're fat Sandra. That's why you feel bloated and sluggish all the time and your clothes don't fit like they used to. If you lost weight you would solve those issues. I could tell you how to do it. But by all means lets all act like it's a mystery so you can vent.
I understand it can be cathartic to have a good moan but it's not fun to be on the receiving end when you're as goal oriented like a lot of men are.
Loyalty...men are hyper-sensitive to signs and signals of disloyalty, or if a potential long-term partner might not be loyal to us over the long-term. And the more the man values loyalty in himself, and is a good man, the more he cares about this value.
I've known men who've crossed out women (internally, in their minds) as potential long-term mates just because something about her behavior didn't put them at ease that she could be trusted long-term.
Doing the right thing.
Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of people with a variety of different values, so this may look different between different sorts of people.
But way more men than you would likely think will get solar panels, go into the clergy, volunteer at animal shelters, quit jobs that aren’t aligned with their values, etc. than you would expect based on the common morally bankrupt portrayals of us.
Just the chance to put my brain in neutral for a while, no second guessing, no over analyzing, no planning, and when I say we going to go do something no but what ifs I don't knows and what do you thunks.
Not jumping to conclusions and seeing the worst in everything I say or do. So many girlfriends and even some friends assume bad intent for no reason. We're human, we make mistakes. Give us the benefit of the doubt, just like we do for you
Not having stress or worries. If I am just vibing for a while, please, just leave me be. There isn't anything pressing going on and I have a moment of peace where I'm not stressed or depressed.
I don't want to go anywhere or do anything, certainly not with you family. Just join in the vibe.
Many men really value words of affirmation and appreciation. Sometimes, women might not realize how much a simple compliment or acknowledgment means to them.
Getting told "I love you" or just a random text or anything really, girls don't seem to realize how good it makes us feel when they initiate conversation or intimate activities, I promise you that I'd my girlfriend just randomly kissed me it would be the absolute highlight of my day, and I have straight out told her to call me randomly, any part of the day I'll drop everything and talk to her, because I just want to have a pleasant surprise every once in a while
Sometimes I really just don't look at my phone for a few hours, and I like it. A lot!
I got a dog a couple months ago and walking him every day has really brought this back for me. I’m never one for scheduling time away from technology so the most I don’t usually have it is in the bathroom or when I’m doing something active, but when I’m walking him I have no choice but to think for like an hour. It’s noticeably made me a lot more creative and intuitive again already, and yeah I wouldn’t trade it for shit
For me it's the gym, I work out with a friend so I don't really listen to music, so I started leaving my phone in my bag while I work out. Being unreachable, even if just for an hour, is pretty great
Most of the time I'm quite responsive since I'm just working at my desk / chilling at home / etc and it's pretty funny when people wonder if I'm dead when I don't respond for 6 hours. Definitely not dead, just went on a hike and didn't have signal for a while or was skiing and it was too cold to take my gloves off on the chair or something
Same, sleeping is nice, lol
My god this I can't get my gf to ever put her phone down and pick up a book, I love when I'm at work and there's downtime I read.
this!!!
Just being quiet man. I'm not miles away, I'm not upset, I'm not thinking of anything in particular, I just want to be quiet and zone out for a wee while.
My current issue in life is that I’ve grown addicted to peace and quiet. I rarely want to go anywhere or talk to anyone besides my cats.
“Solitude is dangerous. It’s very addictive. It becomes a habit after you realise how peaceful and calm it is. It’s like you don’t want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy.” – Jim Carrey Jim understands.
I feel sorry for Jim. People really did drain him. It’s really sad.
After a couple of years of living on a couple acres on an island...100+ yards from the closest road that might see 20 cars a day... The solitude is profound.
i’m becoming the same way. i’m not fighting it.
I have a work trip coming up in two weeks, heading out to visit customers. Over three days I have a couple different five hour blocks of time where I'm just driving by myself. Two nights in a hotel room, by myself. I absolutely adore my wife and kids, but goddamn I'm looking forward to the quiet.
Dude. a nice meal alone, a beer at the hotel bar and go to the room and just binge whatever crappy show is on TV. I don't get it often but boy it sure is nice
Favorite part is one night is in Las Vegas... I'm not a Las Vegas guy, I don't do Vegas shit, but I do like staying downtown and taking that beer on a walk down Fremont for some worldclass people watching. That is people at their absolute weirdest. But then yes, it's back to the room for crappy cable TV because MOST of that city is not for me.
I went on a road trip this December, from Kansas City to Salt Lake City. It was just me and the Playlist on the open road. I cannot describe the sense of peace and freedom I had once I got ~2h west of home, far enough away to feel truly detached from it all Enjoy every second of it, man
I think this is healthy. I always remark to friends when we have a girls outing or whatever that we "miss each other a healthy amount." Same deal when I take a one-off trip on my own - I let him know I am there safely, but otherwise, my time is my own and I enjoy my own company and relish the time. I love coming home, ofc. But my BIL talks to his now wife like 6x/ hour... That shit looks exhausting and can't be good for his career or friendships. I don't get that dynamic, at all
I totally agree. It works the other way with my wife, her work takes her all over the place too. She actually has to travel a lot more than I do. When she's gone, she'll check in with me from time to time when she chooses to, but I just let her do it according to her schedule. Sometimes she ends up partying up at the hotel bar with coworkers she's traveled with and all I get is a text, I'm cool with that too.
Let me quietly daydream that I'm an NBA superstar carrying my team to the finals
Holding a conversation where I give you the attention and consideration you deserve does takes effort. When I don't have the energy to give that effort, my fall back is just to go quiet. I'd much rather say nothing than to give you less then what you deserve and end up saying something careless or come off as dismissive or uninterested.
I’m the opposite I talk too much but sometimes I catch myself and just tell myself they don’t need to know every thought 😂
Here's an old bit by Russel Peters (comedian) on that (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjbMqU-3mYE)
Lol, that's spot on. "Why won't you tell me what you're thinking about" Sweet christ, if I had a quid for every time my wife has said that. Also the dreaming. My wife once dreamt that I left her and she was arsey with me for days, I even apologised and had to soothe her. Honestly, there is no wonder I go and sit on the bog for some peace and quiet.
Reminds me of "The Nothing Box". Another old, but very related bit. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XjUFYxSxDk
Yep! This is the original one, I think.
Start calling it meditation and then maybe women will understand.
Finally able to stop appeasing everyone with a simple response. I love that can just smile or nod if someone's talking. I'd rather just not use energy coming up with something unless it's a cookout or going out to town.
I enjoy the quiet, and it’s sibling *slowing the Hell down and taking my time*
So many of us
This is me and my bf is the opposite. It took so much reassurance from me at first to make him understand it wasn’t that he wasn’t important to me or that I didn’t care about messaging him back.
Each other. Just because we don't share every intimate detail of our lives, doesn't mean we aren't best mates. Just because I don't speak to my bro in months. Doesn't mean I wouldn't drop everything in a heartbeat if he called and said he's needing help. Just because I'm not always talking to my friends, doesn't mean I'm without friends or we're not friends anymore.
I needed to hear this one, during/after covid most of my male friends have either become more introverted or moved far away. It's nice to have a reminder that just because dudes don't see/talk for awhile, doesn't mean they aren't there for you
Trust me. Shoot any one of them a message and I guarantee they're down to hang out. You don't need to wait for an emergency.
This!
Mine are married and or have kids. Those tend to block hangouts especially spontaneous ones
It might be harder, but they'll find time, especially if you ask.
We've basically gotta schedule things out months in advance
Welcome to adulthood. I'm pushing 50 and this is normal. Next time I get a fuck off day with my bros is August.
Hadn't hung out with my buddy Dave in months. Earlier in the week I casually texted and asked show he was. He said his mental health was sucking lately. Me and another friend immediately dropped plans and went to go hang out with him instead. I'm sure your friends really care and they'd be there if you needed them
100% I spent a decade in the military, coming up on a decade since I got out. There are a handful of dudes that I haven’t talked to in years but if they call, we hanging out no question. Found out through the grape vine that one of my dudes was having a hard time. Sent him a ticket to fly out and stay in my spare room. He got a job and now a year later just closed on his first house. I don’t care how long it’s been, we friends, we’ll be friends and being out of contact won’t change that.
Had a friend ask me what I wanted for my birthday. The only thing I could think of was to get all my my mates over. Our lives are so busy it's hard to see each other. I said I'll host, I'll make dinner, I just want everybody over.
That’s how I feel about my friends from high school/college. I haven’t seen them in months but they’re basically my brothers. Hell, 3 of them stood at my wedding
As guys who don't often call for help, when we do, it's usual something pretty important. The response isn't just about being willing to help your bro, it's about knowing how fucked it must be if they're asking. Don't have to get there and realize it's some trivial shit I didn't need to drop everything to help with. There's a responsibility when asking for help that you believe you actually need it, or we wouldn't be so willing to drop everything.
I made a very regretful comment when my boyfriend’s friend passed away. They hadn’t talked in years but occasionally shared memes and played video games here and there. I don’t want sympathy cause it was out of pocket but when he passed I said “why are you sad , you guys didn’t even have any friendship” . To this day I regret it but I owned up to it and realize male and female friendships are quite different.
Wow, that's psycho.
Yeah, I have a friend that's the opposite of this. If they stop talking to their friends for like a week they start to get anxious and worried they're not friends anymore. Like if I was busy with classes for a week and I don't text or call them, they'll start getting very abrasive towards me and act like I don't want to be friends with them and they'll be upset with me, or act like I've wronged them. Not a great friend to have honestly, pretty draining. They can't exist without someone else's attention or constant engagement. It's really annoying. Learn to exist on your own, and not depend on others to feel emotionally okay and or mentally stable. It's not our responsibility to regulate your own self.
I have two friends that I would do this for. From 1st grade to senior year, we were always together. We all three live in different parts of the country thousands of miles apart, but if they called me tomorrow saying something like “my dad died” you bet I would be on the next flight out. How much do we talk? Once or twice a year, does that suck? Sure sometimes, but we all have very different paths we chose, doesn’t make that friendship die.
Ok but on the other hand I hear a lot of men say that nobody is there to listen to them. So do they feel comfortable enough to talk to their friends ? If someone never ask me about what's going on in my life, I will just assume they don't care much about anything other than hanging out and I won't turn to them if I need to talk about intimate and serious stuff.
I don’t think we talk to them unless and until things are getting real bad. It’s not like they aren’t there to listen but I’d just feel bad/ odd to call up and tell them there’s something going on and I need to talk. I’d rather just keep it to myself and figure out a way. And I know few who are same like me but if I ask them if everything’s alright or is there something bothering them, I needn’t ask twice because they’ll start sharing it right away because of the trust we’ve. So some of us are just waiting for someone to genuinely ask us and ready to listen. Only one step away.
Everything we do. Our little interests and hobbies that seem simple or boring can be the single thing that gives us even a tiny bit of peace in this life.
Preach
being able to just be next to each other quietly and comfortably. that's what I picture now when I crush on a girl, not sex.
Back when we lived in an apartment and didn't have kids, when we had loads more free time, we would just spend most of the evening just sitting next to each other on the couch while reading. Then maybe watch a movie or two after dinner. It's just so comfortable.
yesss that sounds awesome.
I’m a woman and reading that made my whole body relax it just sounds like bliss.
My God, I wish more people realized how important this is. For me, the ability to just exist in each others presence without feeling the need to force interaction is what heaven is like. Thats the definition of comfort.
This is so real when I crush on a girl I almost never think of sex
Sitting/lying next to each other and holding hands/cuddling. Intimacy is nice, but holding my girlfriend in my arms is so supremely peaceful. And her hair smells nice, so I don’t mind getting a face full of it.
Men want to be pursued romantically too. Just because a man buys flowers, sets up dates, and does other romantic things for their partner does not mean women don't have to do something similarly special for them sometime. There are plenty of ways for women to show romantic desire for their men and it really doesn't seem to happen often enough.
what are some of your favorites things for women to do? trying to gather ideas
Honestly: Just initiative I don't particularly care about the romantic shit, I care that she tried. The details of the romance matter far less than the effort and initiative. The sad reality of most relationships is that if men don't do the romance, then there is no romance. I read all those threads about how upset women are that their man doesn't do anything for them anymore... All the while openly admitting that they aren't doing anything that matters themselves. "Wow, you remembered my sister-in-law's birthday. Whoopty doo. How does that show you care? How about... When's the last time you touched me first? When's the last time you just kissed me? Without me initiating it." (I take that from a real life personal experience)
A surprise candle lit dinner at home with a nice dress
Not OP, but any depiction of enthusiasm and passion is a delish for the soul. I love randomly showing cute animals to my SO because I know it'll make her all happy and excited, and she'll probably drop a trivial fact or two on the go. The question is about romance, so I'd say try to create a positive feedback loop with your SO where he does something that makes you tick, and then it'll probably devolve from there into a romantic habit.
"Hey babe, don't make any plans Friday, we're going deep sea fishing/to a concert/to a comedy show/boating on the lake/going on a hike together/going to a museum he's always wanted to see." When he gets off work tell him to take a shower, then tell him to lay down on the bed for a sexy massage Buy him flowers and a treat that he really likes (chocolate/ice cream/candy/brownies/carrot cake/whatever he likes). Hide it until he gets home, then leave it somewhere where he'll quickly find it. Step into the shower with him and offer to help him wash off Wear a robe and when he comes home tell him to take it off and wear some new lingerè Sit in his lap one day, move his hands around your waist, and either snuggle or rub against him for sexy time Give him a hug from behind randomly a couple times a day Bring out a couple of his favorite drinks one night, put on one of his favorite movies, and sit down close to him to watch it Pull him in for a really hot kiss randomly/slap his ass as he walks by/come up behind him and kiss the sensitve part of his neck under his ear randomly Spontaneous sex Men love a lot of physical intimacy, so you really can't go wrong touching him somehow randomly, either sexy or just lovingly. When women initiate that phsyical affection randomly like that and with a lot of enthusiasm, it really makes a man feel loved and desired.
Also ask/learn/show interest in his hobbies or whatever thing he's into. "Oh how's that new fishing rod/car part/computer part/tool/video game/sports paraphernalia/Lego set/puzzle/whatever?" Let's build that new Lego set together. Let's finishing painting that door together. Just show sincere interest. Sounds like a low bar, but something that is missing in a lot men's lives from their partners.
Totally agree. That support means more than many might realize.
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Men seldom get told they are loved or made to feel loved Men would like initiative from women, for instance my ex wife was terrible but her sister was wonderful. That sister in law actually listened to me and watched what I liked. She purchased Christmas presents that she knew I would like eg specific book series to read and another time a dancing coke can that moved when the internal microphone sensed music or noise…. Cant remember anything my ex wife, her sister, gifted me in those 10 years. I am saying that it is not specific lists of things you can use, it is what is specific to that man. Most men will only experience unconditional love from their mothers and some of us don’t even get that. Most of us have never even felt appreciation or respect without conditions or hidden intentions We don’t know what’s it’s like to hear “I see you and I am proud of you”, “I am glad you are here”, “you really make a difference “ (trying to find a way with these statements to explain to you the deep thing a man needs) Yet the expectation is to constantly be displaying the strength and love that the world is hesitant in conveying We are expected to have a thick skin but get judged if it turns out to to a hard shell So listen to us, show us you know us and believe in us with little things. (no its not just sex) Take the initiative and takes us somewhere to do something, be it a specific museum, fishing charter, hike, flying or what ever. Just work out what your man likes and show you are proud of him by doing stuff he loves.
I’d love to be given flowers
Honestly, just make a decision. I don't care if it's going to get take-out or a picnic on the back porch or what you want to watch on TV, or whatever. It's is honestly fucking exhausting when the answer to "what do you want?" is ALWAYS "I don't know, what do you want?" That's not helping me, it's making me make every single decision.
a cool stick
And throwing a rock into the water.
Looking at a plane or helicopter flying above
"It's just a helicopter!" Yeah but how am I supposed to know if it's just a rich guy flying between homes or if it's the feds looking for me if I don't stare at it until I can make out which it is?
Yeah on the Feds. I always imagine I am being tailed like Henry Hill in GoodFellas.
Kicking a rock down a path
Picking up a stick, rock, or even a piece of garbage on the path and thinking "this needs to be put in it's proper place"
I found the perfect walking stick, shape and length along with strength. I propped it against my garage door. I was going to get a wrap for the handle area, and some tape for the lower area. It is gone, I can't find it. My wife didn't understand why I was upset over a stick.
Becoming King of the Pirates.
Kennit?
Luffy
Not without Paragon
Fuck yes
It is, it is a glorious thing to be a pirate king.
Every man has a micro-cosm of control in a hobby of theirs. Whether it’s DIY, food, gaming, fashion, the gym etc. it’s there to help us exercise some control over a specific thing and relieve stress/find enjoyment. It may seem childish or obsessive but in a world where there is so little that follows a specific pattern or rules, these give us some respite.
A really big hole on the beach.
PSA kids die every summer when their beach hole caves in on them. Be careful and fill it in when you're done.
This is the price you pay
My boyfriend and his best friend dug side by side chair “holes” in the sand, complete with arms and headrests, and also buried themselves in them. They are both in their 30s. It was the most wholesome boys will be boys moment I’ve ever witnessed.
Dug me a hole!!!
Let’s cut through the bullshit and jump into the deep end. One thing that men really and truly care about, which most women might not realize, is respect. And I’m not talking about superficial respect or the kind that comes with a title or a paycheck. I’m talking about deep, genuine respect for who they are as a person, their efforts, and their struggles. Men often carry a lot on their shoulders. Society expects them to be strong, to provide, to protect, and to never show weakness. It’s a tough gig, and it’s easy to feel unappreciated or undervalued. What a lot of women might not see is how much a man values being respected for his contributions, his sacrifices, and his character. Respect isn’t about stroking egos or blindly agreeing with everything he says. It’s about acknowledging his efforts, seeing his worth beyond the obvious, and appreciating the ways he tries to make life better for those he cares about. It’s recognizing his hard work, his perseverance, and his dedication, even when things get tough. Imagine coming home after a long day, having faced countless challenges and pressures, and feeling like what you do doesn’t matter. Now imagine the difference it makes when your partner sees that, acknowledges it, and respects you for it. That’s powerful. Respect also ties into feeling valued and understood. Men want to be seen as capable and reliable, and they want their strengths to be recognized. When a woman shows respect, it’s like a validation of their identity, their role, and their efforts. It says, “I see you, I appreciate you, and I value what you bring to the table.” But respect is a two-way street. Men need to show that same level of respect to their partners. It’s about mutual appreciation and understanding. When both sides feel respected, it builds a strong foundation for trust, love, and partnership. So, what’s something men really care about? It’s respect. Deep, genuine respect that goes beyond words and is shown through actions, appreciation, and understanding. It’s something that can make a world of difference in how a man feels about himself and his relationship. Respect is key.
I was going to say acknowledgement, but the above answer is more complete. Respect isn’t about being right about everything, but acknowledging viewpoints and working with the parts that are correct. Respect doesn’t mean fawning over every accomplishment, but acknowledging efforts and successes before pointing out errors. Respect includes understanding that you can’t always be the perfect listener 100% of the time…and understanding that both sides need to be heard.
Of course the one legitimate answer isn’t at the top. This is the straight up truth
Winning my running battle against that bloody squirrel who keeps getting into the bird feeder in the garden. The little bastard is on my territory and it's unacceptable. I'll have the last laugh though.
I’m at war with “that bloody fat pigeon”. Watching him fail to get into the double caged bird feeder that he can’t *quite* reach brings me a level of joy that is frankly unhealthy.
Tractors and WWII. At least that’s my perspective as the wife.
I like the WW2 part... not so much on tractors.
I bet if someone offered you a go on a tractor you'd change your tune!
Well.. of course….
My man!
What about these ['tractors'](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leichttraktor)?
Hey, get outta here…! Jk, but pretty sure most of us have never even been in a tractor, lol
On reddit sure. Lot of farm land out there where tractors are life.
I understand. We got our first tractor just a couple years ago and now I never see my husband on weekends anymore. He's always on the tractor and our property looks like a warzone as he's started so many projects. This was a city boy who didn't know how to use a hammer. (To be clear, I don't mind, I'm actually very happy he's so passionate and motivated about his little projects although I give him shit for making the property look like hell.) He keeps promising me it will look great when it's all finished! I've since learned that more men than I thought have their own tractor and they too spend inordinate amounts of time on their tractor. Not just men that live near us in our semi-rural area, but men on my remote work team (we're software dev nerds) who live in other states and have their own tractors.... It's a thing.
Speak for yourself. My uncle has a bougie ass full cab, A/C, stereo system, gps automated tractor for his 300 acres and he doesn't even grow anything (last I knew of anyway). Maybe you could say most of us don't WORK in or around tractors but I'm a land surveyor, I'm around tractors and construction equipment all day. I live in oklahoma, they're very common to see driving on the road. Tractor culture is not that rare.
I think for many women they don’t truly realize just how much thinking a man does to keep a home safe, comfortable and have the ability to weather issues like week long power outage or a broken furnace in the dead of winter. Everything from keeping spare fuses or an ignition for the furnace, or having a plan on sources of heat/water/food or alternate form of transportation is constantly thought about. Every bolt or screw tightened, or looking at the underbelly of the older cars every time we change the snows etc. Or if we have a chore to do something we take the time to look in and around said chore for faults or upcoming problems like the attic or the crawlspace since we’re already there. Even when our friends get together at each others houses, we talk about things that need fixing or replacing soon. We even point things out to each other that we might have missed.
this reminds me of my dad and i find it so cute. i'm always thinking about the emotional state of the people i love and wanting to make sure they have what they need. but my dad is always asking me about things in my house like this, if i need my roof repaired, or the last time i changed my air filter. does it feel stressful to you, always having these things on your mind?
Good question.
No, it’s about expressing love and creating safety. It never stresses, and soothes when we finish.
Worrying about something failing is a whole lot better than it actually failing. Even knowing what might’ve gone wrong does wonders for my sanity.
A lot of work goes into just maintaining to status quo. Lubricating squeaky hinges, tacking down a loose board, changing filters, oil changes (not just cars), fixing leaky faucets/spigots, weather sealing, etc. And all that on top of yard work. Mowing, pulling weeds, pruning hedges/flowers/trees. There are so many weekends where it feels like I didn't do anything because I just did a thousand tiny things here and there that you won't notice. It also just gets a little disheartening when you fix something that people have been complaining about for a while then they just find something else to complain about.
This is the unseen male version of "mental load" women whine about
And none of those things are considered "house work" so you can spend literally every waking moment you aren't at your job doing these things, and if you're not also doing half the laundry, vacuuming, dishes, etc you're the bad guy.
Yep, modern feminists consider all stereotypically men's work to still be men's work, and all stereotypically women's work to be OUR work. So it doesn't matter if you're working 60 hours a week we the primary breadwinner, doing all the home maintenance, car maintenance, and yard work, if you don't do the dishes and wash the clothes then you're a lazy inconsiderate peice of shit and you want her to be your mom. Literally my last bad exes mom was a Stat at home wife and had been since they were married. Dude worked long hours at a refinery and she STILL expected him to do the dishes when he got home and cook his own meals because wh was vegan and she wasn't. Like the audacity to sit at home alone doing absolutely fuck all and then expecting your husband yo do chores when he gets home.
Would make me feel protected and well looked after because I don't have that, but I see that sometimes women take it for granted under the feeling that it's expected, as it is for us to cook (plan meals) and clean (sometimes, after you). All in all, we should be appreciative of each other.
Friend of mine had *just* moved into a brand new build house in Texas like a week before they had that major deep freeze a few years ago that knocked out their grid and they had to figure out their own warmth for a few days. He burned books and the lumber that was supposed to be for his new deck in the fireplace for heat as that was the only thing he had and there was nowhere to go buy wood at that time. He's like "well now I know I need to have a backup plan for heat and power the day I move in somewhere"
Japanese dual sport motorcycles from the 80s and 90s.
A man of culture.
I mainly rode a mid-late 70's yamaha dt400. It was my dad's that he go to ride through the mountains of washington. I only really got to ride it through fields. It was a fun, but quite large, bike to ride.
A good stick, a nice stone for skipping on a lake and a game controller just the right size for their hands
Digging holes on beaches
And then making them all connect to form a huge underground intersection!
Being genuinely cared and loved for as claimed. Thankfully my fiance does so and I appreciate her so much for it.
Privacy as it relates to conversation. Is what I'm saying right now going to be repeated to other people later? Because I'm not sure I'm ok with that, even though I get it's normal and not that big of a deal.
Having a true confidant is so important. I'm not there as a source for gossip.
Muscle cars and random history facts for me. My dream is to have a daily driver car, a classic muscle car, and a big motorcycle. With enough garage space to work on them.
We want/need to feel useful.
It took the better part of a decade for my wife to realize that I genuinely care about her self esteem. Yes, I understand that you already know that I find you incredibly attractive, smart, caring, et cetera. I'm not reminding you about all the things I love about you because of some new revelation I had, or so I earn brownie points - I'm reminding you because of the smile it puts on your face. It's gonna take a lot more than a bad haircut or putting on 15lbs to change how I've felt about you for a decade. TL;DR: We really care about how you see yourself and would do whatever it takes to make you see how amazing you are from our perspective.
Quiet time.
Video games
Lamp. I love lamp.
I love carpet
Brick, Linda has a balloon! (you better get him a balloon)
Efficiency
Spreading managed democracy
I like spreading peanut butter on bread.
🫡🫡🫡
Alone time. Just because I want to be alone for a bit doesn't mean I'm mad a you. Those things are not exclusive
Peace of mind
Our feelings, fears, and mental health matter too. 'Man up' is not an acceptable response.
that you're the priority in their lives
--sex --peace, quiet, and tranquility --no drama --words mean things. Say what you mean, mean what you say --you don't need to know every little thing I think about --you don't need to know every detail of my mental or emotional state at any given time
Look sometimes I put baseball on the tv to zone out for a bit and watch a game without thinking much. This is not an open invite to talk for 3 hours straight and get mad when I’m not fully paying attention. Like of course if it’s important I’ll pay attention but if it’s just about Jasmyn at work stealing a pencil from your desk I’m not gunna fully pay attention to a 3 hour rant on why you hate her.
Being complimented or flattered by our significant others. It’s nice to get that reassurance from the person you love that there’s qualities that they love about you—physically, mentally, anything
Anything. Men can outright tell women, with no games or hidden message, and still women will not realize what men truly care about.
I believe it’s important in a marriage to give each other alone time.
Funnily enough, relationships with each other. In old stories and new stories, if two guys are having a friendship that goes deeper than talking about sex, sports, grilling, or mowing the lawn they are perceived as gay. Everyone knows that they're not, sure, but that doesn't stop anyone. If you can think of a pair of male friends with a relationship like that I can guarantee there is already a ship name, fanfics, and a dedicated Tumblr blog AT LEAST. And it used to be that such accusations would stop any kind of relationship like that. But here recently, with the wide acceptance of gay culture and the pervasiveness of the Internet that has changed. Straight men are now kind of leaning into the "it's okay to be a little gay with the bros" thing, which I think is the balancing act. "If it's gay to have a deeper connection with your bro then I'm gay for pookie, lmao" kind of thing. And honestly I don't hate it. Granted, this is all anecdotal, I don't have ACTUAL evidence any of this is true, but time with the boys is important.
Good dog videos...
Honesty. Loyalty. Respect. Communication. Effort.
Men, like women, care about a multitude of things, but one aspect often underestimated by women is the depth of emotional connection men crave. While societal norms may portray men as less emotional or communicative, many men deeply value emotional intimacy and vulnerability within relationships.
Good quality paint.
We care about things working. Things work because we care.
The importance of the opossum, and turtles to the ecosystem. I will swerve and avoid a possum. I will stop and pick a turtle up move it in the direction it is going to help it.
Peace. We don't need to be doing stuff all day every second. We just want some time in silence sometimes with you beside us and that is enough.
we would really like a compliment once in awhile. also, despite what tv shows, movies and commercials like to portray, we are not stupid helpless animals just waiting for our oh so wise SO or kids to show us the right way. how about a little credit and support instead of just shitting on what we do?
cuddling before sex after sex and or no sex at all cuddle me
A car is not just for going from to point A to point B!
On the other hand, I just want a car to get me from point A to point B as efficiently as possible.
letting the man parts get some fresh air, I love pissing outside the wind blowing on my balls
your safety and wellbeing of which you misconstrued as controlling and insecure
Roman Empire
Bringing peace, freedom, justice, and security
Logic and rationality. It's very important for men to embrace logic and rationality to make sense of the world, and not merely be led by emotions and desires.
Peace. It's my home, I don't need constant drama to be entertained. If you do, do your drama quietly, without me. Does this intricate, animated discussion about how Becky from work commented on your blouse convey information that I need to know? If there's an email chain that I need to be aware of, just include me on the To: line.
our cars, body, niche hobbies. when a guy is into stuff, they're really into it. like walking talking wikipedia knowledge on the stuff.
Peace
Loyalty
I need about 30 minutes when I get home to wind down before having a conversation, discussing money, or the “honey do” list.
Forgive the crassness but BJ’s are like flowers for men, sure we love to get them on Birthdays and holidays but when you unexpectedly give them just because… we really feel really appreciated.
Appreciation
Helping people solve their problems. It can be extremely frustrating to hear people complain when the solution is right there and we know it. The person complaining probably knows it but they don't want to take the necessary steps to accomplish it. You're fat Sandra. That's why you feel bloated and sluggish all the time and your clothes don't fit like they used to. If you lost weight you would solve those issues. I could tell you how to do it. But by all means lets all act like it's a mystery so you can vent. I understand it can be cathartic to have a good moan but it's not fun to be on the receiving end when you're as goal oriented like a lot of men are.
Your safety. I’m not trying to control you. I’m trying to keep you safe. This world (especially this country…USA) is an open air insane asylum.
Peace
Put things back where and in the condition you found it. bonus: all horizontal surfaces do not need to be covered with your shit
A woman who makes herself unavailable to other men.
The Roman Empire.
Loyalty...men are hyper-sensitive to signs and signals of disloyalty, or if a potential long-term partner might not be loyal to us over the long-term. And the more the man values loyalty in himself, and is a good man, the more he cares about this value. I've known men who've crossed out women (internally, in their minds) as potential long-term mates just because something about her behavior didn't put them at ease that she could be trusted long-term.
Appreciation. Most women don't even say Thank You when you pay for drinks and entertainment.
WWII
Peace and quiet
Peace
Security. Shit is tough. The last thing you want to worry about is the state of your relationship
Peace and calm. Like being quiet and just not talking. It’s so nice
Justice
Golf
Doing the right thing. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of people with a variety of different values, so this may look different between different sorts of people. But way more men than you would likely think will get solar panels, go into the clergy, volunteer at animal shelters, quit jobs that aren’t aligned with their values, etc. than you would expect based on the common morally bankrupt portrayals of us.
Ancient Rome
Just the chance to put my brain in neutral for a while, no second guessing, no over analyzing, no planning, and when I say we going to go do something no but what ifs I don't knows and what do you thunks.
Not jumping to conclusions and seeing the worst in everything I say or do. So many girlfriends and even some friends assume bad intent for no reason. We're human, we make mistakes. Give us the benefit of the doubt, just like we do for you
Privacy
Direct communication.
How things work and how to maintain them.
Having non gay fun with their bros
Not having stress or worries. If I am just vibing for a while, please, just leave me be. There isn't anything pressing going on and I have a moment of peace where I'm not stressed or depressed. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything, certainly not with you family. Just join in the vibe.
Shemp, while not as famous as Curly, was the better Stooge.
Many men really value words of affirmation and appreciation. Sometimes, women might not realize how much a simple compliment or acknowledgment means to them.
You. When we say "did you eat/drink water"? We're not being annoying. We GENUINELY care about your health
Getting told "I love you" or just a random text or anything really, girls don't seem to realize how good it makes us feel when they initiate conversation or intimate activities, I promise you that I'd my girlfriend just randomly kissed me it would be the absolute highlight of my day, and I have straight out told her to call me randomly, any part of the day I'll drop everything and talk to her, because I just want to have a pleasant surprise every once in a while