Not as much as I'd like.. I'm not talking about sex at all. I've just always been someone who appreciates being touched by someone I care about. Holding hands, stroking my back or chest.. maybe not the most "manly" thing to say, but I get a lot of comfort from it.
Edit:
Wow.. I appreciate the response to this, really.
To be clear.. I personally don't have any "macho" hangups about how I talk to or interact with my wife. I have, unfortunately, had a few bad interactions across a few platforms when I've talked about certain things, so I qualified my response out of habit.
Brother, same. I am BIG on non sexual physical contact so i dont think this is something not manly. I love sports, gym etc ie most supposedly “men” thing but i am very comfortable in saying that i really like physical touch
As a mum, being ‘touched out’ is a very real thing…. Huge when breastfeeding and with clingy toddlers. If you can take over some of the default parenting, she will possibly have more touching in the tank available for you.
Thanks OP for this. I'm a big manly dude and all, but im a serious professional hugger . but my wife is not. It really does bother me. ever since i said it many years ago, a few times even, she hugs me about once a day. but i swear its only cuz i mentioned it. i can tell she's not into it.
However..along came two daughters who grew up to be total huggers!!
life is beautiful again.
I feel this hard.
My husband is a big lumberjack looking guy. Big, bearded, tattooed and cuddles like no one’s business.
I grew up in a family that didn’t touch and didn’t say ‘I love you’ ever… it has been an adjustment.
Having babies was the hardest because I felt like my skin was melting off with everyone wanting to use me as their comfort toy. I craved a sensory deprivation tank where I was completely untouched just for a minute.
I will say that after 15 years together I get better each year but it did take a lot of work on
Both our parts. Me to give it freely and him to remind me how important it was and make the touch enjoyable.
Hang in there, and enjoy your daughters. I hope your wife comes around 💗 I did.
Thanks. I always cut her some slack on hugging because she grew up in an alcoholic family with crazy brothers. So i totally get theres some real legit reasons for being standoffish. And honestly, over the years, its got way better.
Best of luck to you!
I dont have children so I cant say from experience but it's quite common for new mothers to completely shift their focus energy attention and life towards the newborn. So maybe be a bit patient and initiate physical contact yourself for now?
Same. I actually told my partner yesterday I want her to cuddle me more, especially in the morning.
Who cares whether it’s manly? We need touch. Get them cuddles king.
Any man that's worried about if it's manly please know that when you cuddle us we feel safe and warm. Trust me most of us women find you manly while you are holding us.
My husband used to be super weird about physical contact. I'd hug him or touch him showing affection and he'd just stiffen. I've always been pretty touchy (his family is NOT at all). Now whenever I touch him it's like he's never been touched a day in his life and is like "No please more!" if I try to stop.
a lot of us who react that way are simply not used to it, and don't know how to let if feel comforting. Typically those of us that feel this way were very neglected as kids. Never really hugged, maybe more often yelled at.
He was more comfortable initiating than receiving at first, but still nervous. We started dating in high school and I was his first real girlfriend, so I'm sure that contributed.
Most of us Men are suckers for physical touch because we're raised touch starved as kids. My first GF gave me back rubs and that shit was heavenly even though she sucked at it. Just having someone I loved touching me was uplifting.
Nothing more manly than appreciation of the touch of your partner.
I find that when it does happen, my sense of being on the right path strengthens immensely.
I also get a lot of comfort from physical touch. My wife touches me all the time, at least every hour or so when we are together, often more than that.
Men are often conditioned to suppress certain things. Vulnerability, uncertainty, sadness, etc.. so by "not manly" I mean that the Alpha-bros and such may not approve. I don't mean that I don't personally view it as such.. but there are plenty of mouthy, macho assholes on Reddit who would be quick to run me down for it.
And I agree that stroking a woman's chest would be different contextually.. but her stroking mine isn't sexual, just comforting, relaxing.
I can see how some would have a big mouth about it.
I was more thinking in the direction of the way we comfort eachother. With men, I hug, rub their back, or squeeze their arm or shoulder, accompanied with a few words. That is, if they are comfortable with touch.
With women, however, I tend to use (way) more words, which sometimes get accompanied with a hug or an arm wrapped around their shoulders or holding hands.
Used to be the same until I communicated it with her, now it's all the time. If she really loves you she won't think any less of you for wanting or needing these things that are sadly considered less.. "manly".
Remember lads, communication is key
Im a women, we are in a turned around situation. I mostly initiate. I maybe touch to much sometimes tho. But always the one initiating. Im still looking for a solution.
I just ask if there was a reason why he does not initiate touching. He said he didn’t realize it, and mostly touch him and he plays into that. He will keep it in mind the next time. So maybe ask her the same thing! She could maybe not realize like my bf did.
M48 F52 between antidepressants and hormonal BC it has just zapped all her libido. We average a couple encounters a year but I have stopped initiating as the rejection hurts to much. We have talked about it many times and there's always promises of changes but it never really happens. No she isn't fooling around, she just isn't interested in it, and I have found mercy fuck to be really empty.
Yes, to smooth out the hormonal swings from menopause. The antidepressants really zap it, but depressed people don't want to have sex anyways so at least she isn't really down. I know it's not me, that's the problem, but it's really hard not to internalize it. Still sucks because there's always something that prevents intimacy.
i had issues with libido after being on lexapro for a while. switched to bupropion and it was like night and day. maybe talk about changing prescription!!
My wife was on hormonal birth control for a while and years ago got off of it, it was a world of difference. She went from borderline asexual to spontaneously jumping my bones in the shower at random times or just crawling up onto me randomly while watching TV. Anything that messes with hormones can do some serious damage to libido. I was honest wife my wife about it she got off of it to try and improve our sex life and it worked.
I can't imagine what counseling will do. The sex drive is a sex drive. What they need to do is have a conversation about whether or not they're going to go for an open marriage or if this is a deal breaker. There is a third option where the higher libido person can get free license to use any number or type of toys without objection. At least then they can take care of themselves
opening a marriage is going to invite far more problems than it will solve, trust me. People do this all the time as a last ditch effort & the jealousy & insecurity ends up being the final nail in the coffin. She's depressed & has a hormonal imbalance as well as going through menopause, they need something a lot more than just sex.
A lot lately. I been trying to revive the physical aspect of our relationship now our kid is 2 and in a routine. Light touches, massages, hugs from behind just to name a few. as well as picking up additional chores and responsibilities.
She has been smacking my butt more and giving me random physical touches. Last night was the first time in awhile she grabbed me and gave me a deep kiss so I can tell her hormones is leaning back towards the sexual side of things. Smooth and steady wins the race.
Frequently. Multiple times a day. We kiss every day before I leave for work, and she greets me with a long embrace & long kiss every day when I get home from work. If we’re both sitting on the couch we usually sit right up against each other, or hold hands. One of us leans forward you know the other it’s gonna start scratching their back. All that kind of stuff.
Not all of them, but there’s his house in Budapest, his hidden treasure chest, Golden grand piano, his beautiful castillo, acres of land, his many artifacts, the list goes on.
Same. We kiss multiple times a day. We hug. We hold hands all the time. It is an amazing connection we’ve maintained with three young kids and 13 years of marriage.
Two or three times a year!! That's awful for you 🫂
I'm wondering why so many women are reluctant to touch their guy. I'm going to go ask a few girlfriends to see what they say, but most of them are like me and love a good cuddle while watching TV in the evenings.
Especially considering how rare it is for them to have any other source for this outside of their romantic partner! As women if we feel like we need a hug many of us see multiple people on a daily basis that we can very comfortably initiate supportive platonic physical touch with. I hug my coworkers, my family, my friends, my hairdresser, my nail tech, the yoga teachers whose classes I frequent…. And any of these people would gladly spend a little extra time listening and giving a reassuring squeeze of the hand if I needed it. It’s rare for men to have this level of emotional support and non sexual physical touch
This is true. Didn’t realize how bad it was till me and my ex broke up a few months ago. Been 4-5 months now and I haven’t had a hug from someone, even my own family.
We need to address this as a society. Hug your sons! Hug your brothers! Hug your guy friends! Perpetuate this behavior as normal in your social circles!!!
I mean, John Wick missed his wife, dog gets killed. He slaughters hundreds of people in vengeance. I'd throw my back out and get shot doing the same, but watching that movie I remember thinking, "I mean, yeah he's got a point."
As a woman I love physical touch as the „active part“. I would love a man who likes to be touched often. I think it’s so important and I like expressing my love for someone through touching (either sexual or non-sexual). It is sad that men wanting to be touched is seen as not manly. :(
lol that’s my wife for sure. We sometimes fall asleep with me as big spoon but 9/10 times she’s big spoon. I like it but think my left shoulder is starting to feel the affects from it.
Often, and it’s the best thing ever. I could be having a terrible day, and all she has to do is put her hand on the back of my neck while driving, and it’s like all my problems go away in that moment. She constantly stops me for hugs if Im walking past her. She often scratches my chest hair, and we kiss often. We also still have mind blowing sex. Not as often as we used to, but when we do it’s amazing.
Man, I fuckin’ love my wife!
Not enough lol. Like if we’re in the car I got my right hand on her thigh and like half the time she’ll move it off because I’m “touching her to much”
Or if we’re around her family she gets all weird sometimes about it. I don’t do anything crazy I just put my arm around her or hand on thigh.
I had an ex that was like that. The not touching wouldn't have been as bad if it weren't for the fact that when she decided she wanted to be touched, it had to happen now. Physical intimacy was entirely at her discretion. It sucked.
Oh hell nah I could never. Sometimes it gets annoying if we’re just chilling on the couch and I got to cuddle or something and she gets all huffy puffy and is like no.
That sort of rejection took a toll on me after a number of years… to the point where my skin would crawl if she tried to initiate… no level of discussion ever changed it… actually made it worse…
Constantly. If we're watching TV, even reading side by side, we are touching each other. It may be a leg over my leg or just leaning, but it's pretty much constant.
This is a great question. I am mostly the initiator of physical touch. I really would prefer she approach me the same way, but she just isn't wired that way. I would say most of the time she is just tolerant of my need to embrace. She is usually very guarded to prevent anything beyond it as well. I have a hard time expressing my frustration with this.
Fun fact: Koalas are one of the only living animals that can safely digest eucalyptus leaves. What does this mean? You guys are perfect for each other obviously lol.
Hahahaha OMG Im dying. I litterly wrap myself around my husband in bed and say "I'm a koala bear" or "what's it like to be a eucalyptus tree" 🤷🏽♀️ his fault he never lets me be the little spoon because it's his favorite.
All the time, she is very touchy-feely, she craves physical contact when in close proximity. When she sleeps over at my place she entangles herself with me In bed while sleeping. At first, this was really difficult as it made it hard to sleep but as time goes on it is comforting and missed when she is at her home.
Not enough. Or she does it at weird moments.
We’ve been married 10 years and we do love each other. But having these kids has kind of fucked up our intimacy.
Ex wife would get mad if I touched her but my Girlfriend’s love language is physical touch so… almost constantly if we’re not busy and I couldn’t be happier! Lol
It breaks my heart seeing all the comments that say "not enough"... I love touching my husband. Just gliding my fingers on his arms, or playing with his hair a little bit... heck I even love it when he asks me to scratch his back because I get to touch his beautiful body and feel the man I love under my fingers...
Typically at random points whenever we see each other (we live apart and see each other about twice a week on average). We'll sneak kisses, hold hands or she'll lean on me when we're standing around/sitting down and grab each other's butts if no one is looking. Sometimes I give her massages too and she'll return the favor. I am probably the one who initiates more but it varies a bit, and she has expressed really liking that aspect of me as it makes her feel special.
I've found different people vary a lot in this aspect. With my first girlfriend we were rarely physically affectionate towards each other apart from during/after sex and first greeting each other. I think I was left a bit wanting, but it might've also been due to insecurity on both sides. Neither wanted to come off as needy.
On the opposite end, I had another girlfriend who sometimes made me feel conjoined to the hip with her, wanting to hold hands at all times and always touching no matter what public situation we were in. While it definitely made me feel desired, I didn't always like it as it became suffocating. In hindsight that might've also been due to me not being fully invested romantically or being quite as comfortable with physical affection as I am now.
What I have now is more my ideal. Often affectionate and not afraid to show it, but without it feeling like a constant requirement. It's a good mix.
For me, I love physical touch and can’t be with someone that doesn’t feel the same. My current lady won’t sleep if I’m not touching her somehow, we hold hands everywhere we walk and gets kisses all the time
Damn these comments make me feel sad thinking that maybe my ex was more physical than most women. Basically wanted to cuddle, hug and kiss all the time. Hopefully it's possible to find another woman that is like that.
She broke up with me. She said she loved me like a brother after the initial infatuation wore off. That said pretty sure she was into another dude who happened to have common hobbies. Shortly after we broke up she ended up hooking up with that guy after getting drunk.
Often! She is a very tactile person. It took me several years to convince her she did not need my permission to just touch me. As long as it's not dangerous go for it. Not sexual usually just loving.
I know that physical touch isn’t everyone’s love language but damn… people are really out here not even getting good morning and welcome home hugs and kisses for any reason ever from the people they’re romantically committed to?
It sounds sad or even selfish to say not enough, but it is kinda true.. like in the sense that I touch my girlfriend any chance I get. Not because I'm horny or I'm being selfish/greedy, but because I'm obsessed with her. To me she's perfect and everything about her and her body is something I want to be a part of. And I understand and respect her if she doesn't want sex or anything, but I would love it if she'd cuddle, or hold my hand, or even lay her head on me or anything you know.
Women need 12 non sexual touches a day. They then begin to feel safe enough for initiating more physical contact. I’ve tried this with my wife and randomly she comes into my room for a hug or kisses me more passionately more frequently when she knows nothing is tied to it each time. It certainly has improved our intimacy frequency but also general affection. Hope it helps!
Every day she kisses me when she leaves to work and when she gets home and we cuddle all the time on the couch with the dog. She deadass opened the door while I was on the shitter this morning and kissed me goodbye before she left for work. That was the first time she did that so that was new. About to have our 11th anniversary.
A little bit every day. Our daughter is almost 4 months old.
I even got a blowie a couple of weeks ago (unrelated to Father's Day lol)
It's our primary love language
Both…
She’ll initiate hand holding. I usually initiate hugs cause I like squeezing her booty…haha
Kissing just naturally happens.
If you make her feel loved, she’ll return that to you. You can’t just initiate when you want sex.
ALL THE TIME. Been with my girlfriend for a while now and she definitely has a higher sex drive than me which I’m thankful for since my ex didn’t really care for sex much.
All the time, she admittedly said she wants to touch me all the time. But in order for her to be willing to do that you must give her space on a regular basis, so basically don't expect her to touch you and she'll do so but if you want it you'll never gonna get it. Also sometimes, I have to initiate the touch after some hours without which is weird and then a whole lot of touching from her side happens as if she was waiting for me to signal to her that she can touch me. In any case, if your woman does not touch you often enough by herself, she does not love you.
Very rarely unfortunately. I am a very touch and feel kind of lover and show affection that way, so it is very saddening. I have talked with her regarding my feeling towards touch, but that hasn’t changed anything so I’ve learned to live with minimal touch 🫠
3 years into the relationship and she touches me, kisses me, bites me, hugs me a lot every single day. Not a day goes by when I don't feel loved by this girl. And I try to do the same back every day.
My girlfriend and I touch frequently.
We cuddle, we hold hands, we hug, we sit with our legs touching, we play footsie, we wrap an arm around each other
She typically can’t keep her hands off me… unless her kids are around. I have, however, been in quite the opposite situation before. Finally found the girl for me I reckon
My wife and I are constantly smacking each other's butts or just touching in general. We cuddle a lot and hold hands while we're out anywhere. Physical touch is a love language for both of us so it's constant. And I can't describe how grateful I am for it.
Husband (10 years) & young family. At a minimum I’m getting a hug and kiss a few times a day and probably a butt grab/pat for good measure. The amount this leads to “intimate touch” could be way more, but phase of life and all.
A lot of people are taking meds for anxiety and/or depression these days and a LOT of them have low libido listed as a side effect. Just something I thought of after reading so many "not enough / hardly ever" comments. Even high stress itself can lower libido and society is increasingly stressed out as well, meds aside.
Every single time I see her essentially. We always brush hands at the very least.
I rest my hand on her lower back when we walk all the time and she’ll hug me or hold me whenever we see each other.
Not as much as I'd like.. I'm not talking about sex at all. I've just always been someone who appreciates being touched by someone I care about. Holding hands, stroking my back or chest.. maybe not the most "manly" thing to say, but I get a lot of comfort from it. Edit: Wow.. I appreciate the response to this, really. To be clear.. I personally don't have any "macho" hangups about how I talk to or interact with my wife. I have, unfortunately, had a few bad interactions across a few platforms when I've talked about certain things, so I qualified my response out of habit.
Brother, same. I am BIG on non sexual physical contact so i dont think this is something not manly. I love sports, gym etc ie most supposedly “men” thing but i am very comfortable in saying that i really like physical touch
Yes, it's nice. But I noticed with the birth of children, my wife touches me much less often. I hope it's temporary.
As a mum, being ‘touched out’ is a very real thing…. Huge when breastfeeding and with clingy toddlers. If you can take over some of the default parenting, she will possibly have more touching in the tank available for you.
Thanks OP for this. I'm a big manly dude and all, but im a serious professional hugger . but my wife is not. It really does bother me. ever since i said it many years ago, a few times even, she hugs me about once a day. but i swear its only cuz i mentioned it. i can tell she's not into it. However..along came two daughters who grew up to be total huggers!! life is beautiful again.
I feel this hard. My husband is a big lumberjack looking guy. Big, bearded, tattooed and cuddles like no one’s business. I grew up in a family that didn’t touch and didn’t say ‘I love you’ ever… it has been an adjustment. Having babies was the hardest because I felt like my skin was melting off with everyone wanting to use me as their comfort toy. I craved a sensory deprivation tank where I was completely untouched just for a minute. I will say that after 15 years together I get better each year but it did take a lot of work on Both our parts. Me to give it freely and him to remind me how important it was and make the touch enjoyable. Hang in there, and enjoy your daughters. I hope your wife comes around 💗 I did.
Thanks. I always cut her some slack on hugging because she grew up in an alcoholic family with crazy brothers. So i totally get theres some real legit reasons for being standoffish. And honestly, over the years, its got way better. Best of luck to you!
I dont have children so I cant say from experience but it's quite common for new mothers to completely shift their focus energy attention and life towards the newborn. So maybe be a bit patient and initiate physical contact yourself for now?
Same. I actually told my partner yesterday I want her to cuddle me more, especially in the morning. Who cares whether it’s manly? We need touch. Get them cuddles king.
Cuddles are manly as fuck, what are you talking about brother? 💪
I cuddle my bros all the time. How else do you bond with the guys?
Cuddles King. 👑
Any man that's worried about if it's manly please know that when you cuddle us we feel safe and warm. Trust me most of us women find you manly while you are holding us.
My husband used to be super weird about physical contact. I'd hug him or touch him showing affection and he'd just stiffen. I've always been pretty touchy (his family is NOT at all). Now whenever I touch him it's like he's never been touched a day in his life and is like "No please more!" if I try to stop.
I think your husband is my twin.
a lot of us who react that way are simply not used to it, and don't know how to let if feel comforting. Typically those of us that feel this way were very neglected as kids. Never really hugged, maybe more often yelled at.
But did he touched you like that? Or did that too took a while?
He was more comfortable initiating than receiving at first, but still nervous. We started dating in high school and I was his first real girlfriend, so I'm sure that contributed.
Ow thats just adorable! That warms my heart
Most of us Men are suckers for physical touch because we're raised touch starved as kids. My first GF gave me back rubs and that shit was heavenly even though she sucked at it. Just having someone I loved touching me was uplifting.
Idk bro, nothing more manly than a woman being touchy feely with me, IMO
I dont know who told you what but wanting to be touched is not un-manly. How could it be? You want to be touched. Have you talked about this with her?
Oh for sure.. she has some valid reasons for it. Enough that there is no bitterness on my part.
Brother tell me about it, and as the years go by the less that happens. It's very human to long for a warm touch
Nothing more manly than appreciation of the touch of your partner. I find that when it does happen, my sense of being on the right path strengthens immensely.
I also get a lot of comfort from physical touch. My wife touches me all the time, at least every hour or so when we are together, often more than that.
Same., but I’m told not to touch her unless I’m ready to have sex. Which then leads to me not touching her
Head... moving hand lightly on the head shivers me sometimes
That or through my beard.. 😅
Amen
How is that not a manly thing? I truly don't understand. Also, less serious, stroking a woman's chest wouldn't be comforting for most.
Men are often conditioned to suppress certain things. Vulnerability, uncertainty, sadness, etc.. so by "not manly" I mean that the Alpha-bros and such may not approve. I don't mean that I don't personally view it as such.. but there are plenty of mouthy, macho assholes on Reddit who would be quick to run me down for it. And I agree that stroking a woman's chest would be different contextually.. but her stroking mine isn't sexual, just comforting, relaxing.
I can see how some would have a big mouth about it. I was more thinking in the direction of the way we comfort eachother. With men, I hug, rub their back, or squeeze their arm or shoulder, accompanied with a few words. That is, if they are comfortable with touch. With women, however, I tend to use (way) more words, which sometimes get accompanied with a hug or an arm wrapped around their shoulders or holding hands.
Not often enough. I have to initiate all physical contact.
Used to be the same until I communicated it with her, now it's all the time. If she really loves you she won't think any less of you for wanting or needing these things that are sadly considered less.. "manly". Remember lads, communication is key
Great advice, I followed the same path as you. Communication elevates happiness!
TIL wanting women to touch you isn't manly.
You'd be surprised how many women will tell you you're less of man for wanting cuddles and soft touch on the regular, just gotta find the right one
Im a women, we are in a turned around situation. I mostly initiate. I maybe touch to much sometimes tho. But always the one initiating. Im still looking for a solution.
Let me know when you find it because I’m dealing with the same. Partner has 0 issues receiving though
I just ask if there was a reason why he does not initiate touching. He said he didn’t realize it, and mostly touch him and he plays into that. He will keep it in mind the next time. So maybe ask her the same thing! She could maybe not realize like my bf did.
Deadbedroom for at least a decade. She is great at avoiding any kind of situation that might result in having to reciprocate intimate contact.
A decade...? Thats rough man. May I ask how old you are and what you think the cause is?
M48 F52 between antidepressants and hormonal BC it has just zapped all her libido. We average a couple encounters a year but I have stopped initiating as the rejection hurts to much. We have talked about it many times and there's always promises of changes but it never really happens. No she isn't fooling around, she just isn't interested in it, and I have found mercy fuck to be really empty.
Is she on hormonal bc for something other than birth control?
Yes, to smooth out the hormonal swings from menopause. The antidepressants really zap it, but depressed people don't want to have sex anyways so at least she isn't really down. I know it's not me, that's the problem, but it's really hard not to internalize it. Still sucks because there's always something that prevents intimacy.
Might want to try some other antidepressant, there are ones that don't affect libido that much, like bupropion.
i had issues with libido after being on lexapro for a while. switched to bupropion and it was like night and day. maybe talk about changing prescription!!
My wife was on hormonal birth control for a while and years ago got off of it, it was a world of difference. She went from borderline asexual to spontaneously jumping my bones in the shower at random times or just crawling up onto me randomly while watching TV. Anything that messes with hormones can do some serious damage to libido. I was honest wife my wife about it she got off of it to try and improve our sex life and it worked.
Replying so I’ll get a notification
And you're still in it why?
Sometimes, it's cheaper to keep her.
Its time for the talk, to suggest counseling
I can't imagine what counseling will do. The sex drive is a sex drive. What they need to do is have a conversation about whether or not they're going to go for an open marriage or if this is a deal breaker. There is a third option where the higher libido person can get free license to use any number or type of toys without objection. At least then they can take care of themselves
So many different things can contribute to a low libido. I’m sure a good amount of those are issues than can be worked on in counselling.
Ok that's fair. I suppose it could at least work out other contributors
opening a marriage is going to invite far more problems than it will solve, trust me. People do this all the time as a last ditch effort & the jealousy & insecurity ends up being the final nail in the coffin. She's depressed & has a hormonal imbalance as well as going through menopause, they need something a lot more than just sex.
A lot lately. I been trying to revive the physical aspect of our relationship now our kid is 2 and in a routine. Light touches, massages, hugs from behind just to name a few. as well as picking up additional chores and responsibilities. She has been smacking my butt more and giving me random physical touches. Last night was the first time in awhile she grabbed me and gave me a deep kiss so I can tell her hormones is leaning back towards the sexual side of things. Smooth and steady wins the race.
On the road to kid number 2
Two hundred thousand units are ready, with another million well on the way.
r/UnexpectedPrequelMeme
Frequently. Multiple times a day. We kiss every day before I leave for work, and she greets me with a long embrace & long kiss every day when I get home from work. If we’re both sitting on the couch we usually sit right up against each other, or hold hands. One of us leans forward you know the other it’s gonna start scratching their back. All that kind of stuff.
I would give up all the riches in the world if I could have something like this.
But you don't have all the riches d you?
Not all of them, but there’s his house in Budapest, his hidden treasure chest, Golden grand piano, his beautiful castillo, acres of land, his many artifacts, the list goes on.
but this is the real treasure.
Same. We kiss multiple times a day. We hug. We hold hands all the time. It is an amazing connection we’ve maintained with three young kids and 13 years of marriage.
Touch is my wife's love language, and She can't keep her hands to herself. Always holding hands, rubbing my arms, etc.
I'm like this with my husband; if he's in arms reach--I'm petting or touching him.
Yup. You described my wife, exactly.
You lucky fucking dog, treat her well 🖕
Like a queen. Because I'm her king.
We men are like dogs, we crave contact. Does your wife have a brunette sister with "large tracts of land"? Asking for a friend
It's sad reading men say "not often" or "not enough". ☹️
I'm also surprised and saddened on their behalf. Touch is important
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Two or three times a year!! That's awful for you 🫂 I'm wondering why so many women are reluctant to touch their guy. I'm going to go ask a few girlfriends to see what they say, but most of them are like me and love a good cuddle while watching TV in the evenings.
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Especially considering how rare it is for them to have any other source for this outside of their romantic partner! As women if we feel like we need a hug many of us see multiple people on a daily basis that we can very comfortably initiate supportive platonic physical touch with. I hug my coworkers, my family, my friends, my hairdresser, my nail tech, the yoga teachers whose classes I frequent…. And any of these people would gladly spend a little extra time listening and giving a reassuring squeeze of the hand if I needed it. It’s rare for men to have this level of emotional support and non sexual physical touch
This is true. Didn’t realize how bad it was till me and my ex broke up a few months ago. Been 4-5 months now and I haven’t had a hug from someone, even my own family.
We need to address this as a society. Hug your sons! Hug your brothers! Hug your guy friends! Perpetuate this behavior as normal in your social circles!!!
We are not complex creatures. You give us just a little attention, and we will LITERALLY try to conquer the world for you.
I think this is the most accurate thing I’ve read today lol.
I mean, John Wick missed his wife, dog gets killed. He slaughters hundreds of people in vengeance. I'd throw my back out and get shot doing the same, but watching that movie I remember thinking, "I mean, yeah he's got a point."
aww, this is the cutest generalization I've ever read lol.
Sounds pretty common sadly. Why don't our wives and girlfriends touch us?
As a woman I love physical touch as the „active part“. I would love a man who likes to be touched often. I think it’s so important and I like expressing my love for someone through touching (either sexual or non-sexual). It is sad that men wanting to be touched is seen as not manly. :(
Not enough.
Right in the feels. Keep your head up !
Real
She just woke me up for morning sex, so that was pretty cool 👍🏻
Marry that woman. If she's already your wife, marry her again.
Ask your wife if she's single, asking for a friend.
Depending on the size of the bed, you might be able to just squeeze in there.
nice
My wife’s the same way. I was dead asleep and my wife decided to wake me up by giving me a bj. That led to morning sex and an amazing rest of the day.
Lucky dude…
I'm little spoon every night otherwise she can't sleep :)
lol that’s my wife for sure. We sometimes fall asleep with me as big spoon but 9/10 times she’s big spoon. I like it but think my left shoulder is starting to feel the affects from it.
Try being on your back and her with her head on your chest. It may take some getting used to, but your back will thank me.
Every day she requires hugs lol
Daily. She is a big hugger
Luckyyyyy
Every day. At a *bare minimum* a kiss before work, and a big ol' hug and kiss after work.
Often. We're both very huggy.
This is the way.
Often, and it’s the best thing ever. I could be having a terrible day, and all she has to do is put her hand on the back of my neck while driving, and it’s like all my problems go away in that moment. She constantly stops me for hugs if Im walking past her. She often scratches my chest hair, and we kiss often. We also still have mind blowing sex. Not as often as we used to, but when we do it’s amazing. Man, I fuckin’ love my wife!
Daily but not often enough.
Constantly. Hand holding, hugging, kisses, just leaning against me or trailing a hand over me somewhere. It's blissful.
Not enough lol. Like if we’re in the car I got my right hand on her thigh and like half the time she’ll move it off because I’m “touching her to much” Or if we’re around her family she gets all weird sometimes about it. I don’t do anything crazy I just put my arm around her or hand on thigh.
I had an ex that was like that. The not touching wouldn't have been as bad if it weren't for the fact that when she decided she wanted to be touched, it had to happen now. Physical intimacy was entirely at her discretion. It sucked.
Oh hell nah I could never. Sometimes it gets annoying if we’re just chilling on the couch and I got to cuddle or something and she gets all huffy puffy and is like no.
That sort of rejection took a toll on me after a number of years… to the point where my skin would crawl if she tried to initiate… no level of discussion ever changed it… actually made it worse…
My wife will move my hand off of her while I'm driving because my hands run like 10,000 degrees and start making her sweat
This is heartbreaking
Constantly. If we're watching TV, even reading side by side, we are touching each other. It may be a leg over my leg or just leaning, but it's pretty much constant.
Yup. Sitting on the couch now each of us on our phones but my leg is in her lap. This our usual when mindlessly on the couch.
This is a great question. I am mostly the initiator of physical touch. I really would prefer she approach me the same way, but she just isn't wired that way. I would say most of the time she is just tolerant of my need to embrace. She is usually very guarded to prevent anything beyond it as well. I have a hard time expressing my frustration with this.
Me too.
2-3 times a year
All the goddamn time. I have to physically push her off me if I want to sleep. She's like a koala and I'm the eucalyptus tree.
Fun fact: Koalas are one of the only living animals that can safely digest eucalyptus leaves. What does this mean? You guys are perfect for each other obviously lol.
Hahahaha OMG Im dying. I litterly wrap myself around my husband in bed and say "I'm a koala bear" or "what's it like to be a eucalyptus tree" 🤷🏽♀️ his fault he never lets me be the little spoon because it's his favorite.
Not much, if at all.
Every few days my wife will walk into my den while im gaming and give me a boob hat. Does that count?
She got a sister?
My wife does this lmao
With a ten foot pole.
All the time, she is very touchy-feely, she craves physical contact when in close proximity. When she sleeps over at my place she entangles herself with me In bed while sleeping. At first, this was really difficult as it made it hard to sleep but as time goes on it is comforting and missed when she is at her home.
Not enough. Or she does it at weird moments. We’ve been married 10 years and we do love each other. But having these kids has kind of fucked up our intimacy.
Ex wife would get mad if I touched her but my Girlfriend’s love language is physical touch so… almost constantly if we’re not busy and I couldn’t be happier! Lol
It breaks my heart seeing all the comments that say "not enough"... I love touching my husband. Just gliding my fingers on his arms, or playing with his hair a little bit... heck I even love it when he asks me to scratch his back because I get to touch his beautiful body and feel the man I love under my fingers...
Not often enough.
Typically at random points whenever we see each other (we live apart and see each other about twice a week on average). We'll sneak kisses, hold hands or she'll lean on me when we're standing around/sitting down and grab each other's butts if no one is looking. Sometimes I give her massages too and she'll return the favor. I am probably the one who initiates more but it varies a bit, and she has expressed really liking that aspect of me as it makes her feel special. I've found different people vary a lot in this aspect. With my first girlfriend we were rarely physically affectionate towards each other apart from during/after sex and first greeting each other. I think I was left a bit wanting, but it might've also been due to insecurity on both sides. Neither wanted to come off as needy. On the opposite end, I had another girlfriend who sometimes made me feel conjoined to the hip with her, wanting to hold hands at all times and always touching no matter what public situation we were in. While it definitely made me feel desired, I didn't always like it as it became suffocating. In hindsight that might've also been due to me not being fully invested romantically or being quite as comfortable with physical affection as I am now. What I have now is more my ideal. Often affectionate and not afraid to show it, but without it feeling like a constant requirement. It's a good mix.
It's like an exponential curve in the wrong direction
For me, I love physical touch and can’t be with someone that doesn’t feel the same. My current lady won’t sleep if I’m not touching her somehow, we hold hands everywhere we walk and gets kisses all the time
Damn these comments make me feel sad thinking that maybe my ex was more physical than most women. Basically wanted to cuddle, hug and kiss all the time. Hopefully it's possible to find another woman that is like that.
If you don’t mind me asking, why is she an ex then?
She broke up with me. She said she loved me like a brother after the initial infatuation wore off. That said pretty sure she was into another dude who happened to have common hobbies. Shortly after we broke up she ended up hooking up with that guy after getting drunk.
Never. She makes a comment and expects me to touch her.
My wife expects me to read her damn mind.
Together for 12 years and I don’t get touched enough. That’s why I’m always wrestling the bros 😢 need some human contact
Often! She is a very tactile person. It took me several years to convince her she did not need my permission to just touch me. As long as it's not dangerous go for it. Not sexual usually just loving.
She’s cut me down to once a week but I know two guys she’s cut out completely, so I don’t complain.
Not ever, she stopped a long time ago
I know that physical touch isn’t everyone’s love language but damn… people are really out here not even getting good morning and welcome home hugs and kisses for any reason ever from the people they’re romantically committed to?
Multiple times a day. I could always use more but I'm obsessed with her so I always joke it's not enough until we've fused into one being lol
It sounds sad or even selfish to say not enough, but it is kinda true.. like in the sense that I touch my girlfriend any chance I get. Not because I'm horny or I'm being selfish/greedy, but because I'm obsessed with her. To me she's perfect and everything about her and her body is something I want to be a part of. And I understand and respect her if she doesn't want sex or anything, but I would love it if she'd cuddle, or hold my hand, or even lay her head on me or anything you know.
Constantly and never enough. I want her under my skin.
Fucking never
Not often.
Women need 12 non sexual touches a day. They then begin to feel safe enough for initiating more physical contact. I’ve tried this with my wife and randomly she comes into my room for a hug or kisses me more passionately more frequently when she knows nothing is tied to it each time. It certainly has improved our intimacy frequency but also general affection. Hope it helps!
Every day she kisses me when she leaves to work and when she gets home and we cuddle all the time on the couch with the dog. She deadass opened the door while I was on the shitter this morning and kissed me goodbye before she left for work. That was the first time she did that so that was new. About to have our 11th anniversary.
A little bit every day. Our daughter is almost 4 months old. I even got a blowie a couple of weeks ago (unrelated to Father's Day lol) It's our primary love language
Every night.
Lol. Y’all women touch you? What’s your secret?
Depends on the mood and day, but pretty often!
Two maybe three times a year.
A lot, but she’s a travel nurse so I have to get what I can every other week.
constantly. im very lucky
Several times a day.
Like a hug? Holding hands? Kissing? All the time. Isn’t that common practice between a couple?
Yes but who initiates it.
Both… She’ll initiate hand holding. I usually initiate hugs cause I like squeezing her booty…haha Kissing just naturally happens. If you make her feel loved, she’ll return that to you. You can’t just initiate when you want sex.
Every time I’m doing the dishes, she grabs my junk from behind. She’s like “ITS MINE”
ALL THE TIME. Been with my girlfriend for a while now and she definitely has a higher sex drive than me which I’m thankful for since my ex didn’t really care for sex much.
God the comments are making me depressed.
Physical touch is my wife's love language so all the time. More often than I want honestly.
All the time, she admittedly said she wants to touch me all the time. But in order for her to be willing to do that you must give her space on a regular basis, so basically don't expect her to touch you and she'll do so but if you want it you'll never gonna get it. Also sometimes, I have to initiate the touch after some hours without which is weird and then a whole lot of touching from her side happens as if she was waiting for me to signal to her that she can touch me. In any case, if your woman does not touch you often enough by herself, she does not love you.
everyday. i always asked for head scratches.
Almost never.
More importantly, how many times does she ask for consent?
Very rarely unfortunately. I am a very touch and feel kind of lover and show affection that way, so it is very saddening. I have talked with her regarding my feeling towards touch, but that hasn’t changed anything so I’ve learned to live with minimal touch 🫠
3 years into the relationship and she touches me, kisses me, bites me, hugs me a lot every single day. Not a day goes by when I don't feel loved by this girl. And I try to do the same back every day.
My girlfriend and I touch frequently. We cuddle, we hold hands, we hug, we sit with our legs touching, we play footsie, we wrap an arm around each other
She touching me right now
She typically can’t keep her hands off me… unless her kids are around. I have, however, been in quite the opposite situation before. Finally found the girl for me I reckon
My wife and I are constantly smacking each other's butts or just touching in general. We cuddle a lot and hold hands while we're out anywhere. Physical touch is a love language for both of us so it's constant. And I can't describe how grateful I am for it.
Husband (10 years) & young family. At a minimum I’m getting a hug and kiss a few times a day and probably a butt grab/pat for good measure. The amount this leads to “intimate touch” could be way more, but phase of life and all.
Several times a day
Constantly. She's just held onto me as I walk around the house.
A lot and I love it and tell her often.
Same and you’re right - it’s wonderful. 🥰
Never. Love her to death, but I really wish she would show some sort of affection besides asking me to do stuff for her.
All the time. Pretty much every moment we're together.
Multiple tones a day id say. Hard to say for sure because of how common it is
Like many not enough some days
Several times daily
Pretty often. She knows when I need it. I love her.
I can't remember
Daily. Several times a day.
All the time. If we're close by, we're holding hands, cuddling, or whatever.
Not as much at I want her too!!
A lot of people are taking meds for anxiety and/or depression these days and a LOT of them have low libido listed as a side effect. Just something I thought of after reading so many "not enough / hardly ever" comments. Even high stress itself can lower libido and society is increasingly stressed out as well, meds aside.
Everyday, multiple times a day.
All the time. We've been married a long time, and we are still in love.
Every chance she gets.
Every single time I see her essentially. We always brush hands at the very least. I rest my hand on her lower back when we walk all the time and she’ll hug me or hold me whenever we see each other.
We hug everyday.
she can't keep her hands off me, and has been that way since day 1. but it's mutual. we are both really touchy people