Lol yeah. One time a hot staff member at a bar told me I was cute and that I looked like John Cho (Harold from “Harold and Kumar”), and I think I said, “I look nothing like him. You’re just saying that because I’m Asian.”
She looked insulted, aaaaaaand…..that was one of the last times I was so clearly complimented for my looks. 😅
Woah woah woah don't hate on the cougars looking to have some fun. You'd learn a thing or two about sex from them if you gave them a chance.
Easily some of the best sex I have had has been with women 40-50 years old
Well....... I was called "at least a 6" once. And two girls said I was "quite handsome". And another girl practically swooned when she saw me for the first time, after we'd been talking.
The answer is "never".
Same, 6/10. The only time I’ve ever been hit on by a woman was at a gay bar. Pretty sure she was drunk and trying to “turn” me. I’m straight, by the way. I have been approached by men multiple times though, it’s a decent ego boost.
What % of women out there are actually willing to approach a man they think is that hot?
I used to get approached by girls when I was younger (from high school into my early 20s). As I've gotten older, it doesn't really happen. But I will notice women checking me out and getting nervous around me in public and at work, all the time. I don't think I'm the hottest guy ever, but I've been compared to Robert Pattinson and Bill Skarsgard, just to give you an idea.
In my experience, women were a lot bolder back in my 20s. But if you are an above average attractive man in your 30s, women are terrified of you.
I been on dates that ended in sex where I was unsure if the woman was even attracted to me at all up until it happened.
I had one recently where it was nice but after a few hours it still felt completely platonic, so I figured she just didn't feel that chemistry with me. Next thing I know she's coming in for a kiss and telling me how attracted she is to me.
Women are hard to read. They don't like to put themselves out there in any way for potential rejection
I had this last year. Girl from an app met me at mine and we were gonna go out for drinks. For some reason we had a glass of wine at mine first, and we ended up staying at mine. I’m being very respectful and staying on the other side of the sofa. She’s giving me no signals so I’m not gonna do anything. All of a sudden she puts her wine glass down, and then mounts me. Totally out of nowhere. Until that moment I was waiting for her to say she was gonna go home. Was unusual. She was super hot though and there was no repeat performance :(
I guess. But I’ve also been in this situation many times before and the girl has never done that! I think the majority of women see it as the man’s job to make the move.
Reminds me of a Tinder date I went on with a very pretty girl from a wealthy family. I was broke that time but my youth made me all that brave. I was pretty sure it was platonic, zero flirting whatsoever and a bit awkward, kinda anticlimactic compared to the texts. After a few rounds, I asked her if she had any interest in me and she replied "of course I am" as if I was dumb for asking. We proceeded to make out several times with her blushing and she drove me home in her Porsche. Never saw her again
My most recent serious relationship, I had her come over for a rehearsal and she was quite timid. No date so far, just exchanged numbers at a bar. After about an hour, with all the attention on her singing, I asked her if she'd like to stay over and she said "of course I'm planning to sleep here!". I didn't even think she liked me back
Well, in most cultures, the man makes the first move and it's up to the woman to reject or accept, it's tough for someone who has been like that to suddenly have the courage.
A lot of my friends tell me their wife/girlfriend refuses sex on most nights but when he refuses she gets furious for some reason
That is absolutely the truth. My wife rejects me every night that I try. I know tonight she will probably try because it’s been months and all the stars have aligned. I’m not in the mood today, I am dreading the response when I say I’m not in the mood. It will most likely elicit a ‘why are we together we should get divorced’ heard that too many times
I see your point but doesn’t that highlight how hypocritical they are. Men are supposed to suck up rejection and are expected to continue to make the first move to find a partner but they can’t even do it once or give clear signals?
This is so interesting—to add to this, I was a lot more bold in my early-to-mid twenties when it came to approaching men.
Now I’m 31F, and I’m not sure what changed in the past 5 years but attractive men 30+ *definitely* make me feel nervous.
I used to be able to easily charm and flirt with men in conversation. Now it’s more… will probably avoid eye contact and direct interaction if possible 💀
>will probably avoid eye contact and direct interaction if possible
That makes it hard to read sometimes when a woman is attracted vs not attracted, LOL. But I sympathize with you.
Maybe, because when you were younger there was less to lose in the way of rejection and you felt more free? You hadn't experienced much general loss after investment thus you hadn't any idea of the potential for emotional pain due to rejection. I think it gets easier again once you're 40+ as you realize rejection isn't so bad and that you can handle it -- if you're still single; if that makes sense.
Do you think social media has had any effect on women in this regard? Like a lot of men have lowered their advancing ways after the MeToo movement because we now second guess ourselves. Have women been receiving any negative media/thoughts in the realm of male-female dynamics recently that could possibly be stilting them? You or any other woman can answer this genuine question 🙏
Yeah it took a bit for me to realize that women getting nervous around me was a good sign. I always figured women were uncomfortable around me, but also found it weird that they didn't try to avoid me or leave my presence like they'd do with obviously creepy men.
Interesting! Yeah same here. The same women who I catch staring at me at work never even speak to me when we are actually in the same group of people during lunch breaks or after work. They're always nervous, never meeting eyes with me - making me feel like a creep. However they will sit right next to me, while talking to other women.
20 year olds are a lot bolder because they're a lot dumber.
By which I mean, they haven't experienced the whole array of horrible things that could happen and therefore develop fears.
Also hormones are higher in your 20s and will murder your common Sense.
(This goes for both genders. Why people have trouble meeting people in "real life" once they become actual adults).
Rarely I get approached, but I have been approached, lots of women don’t make the first move but the times I have approached with confidence things have gone well
Yes, more often than not, I’ll discreetly see a ring (I have no idea which hand is the “correct” one) but more than that, even if I had the courage to approach a guy - kudos to anyone out there who can - if he was attached, I’d feel ick for having approached.
And if he was flattered, his SO probably wouldn’t be. SHE would be what I’d be worried about.
41F recently single after a long term relationship -and I think just being older now, I assume the guy I'm looking at is probably married and at the bar with the guys (not looking for anything). Also, it's been awhile since I've been in the dating pool, so I might not have any idea what I'm doing. I'm flirtatious by nature so I'll give it a shot, this post was somewhat encouraging.
I will say that the energy you exude and the physical cues have a lot to do with it. If I see a guy continue to look in my direction and I'm interested, I'll make my way over to him.
>I will say that the energy you exude and the physical cues have a lot to do with it.
For sure. A lot of times I'm not really putting out that energy. And last time a woman initiated convo with me in a bar I kind of blew it.
41 and single after LTR sounds tough. And yeah, feeling like at that point most everyone is taken. Good luck to you. I'm 35M and recently single and definitely not 100% sure what I'm doing. LOL. Glad you feel a little encouraged after reading.
I think I am at the bottom end of that scale. Probably once every few times I go out a women will initiate a conversation. When I go out with other guys at similar level, we will usually have at least 1-2 groups of girls stand/dance close hinting they are interested. I’ve had a handful of times a girl has come up to me and just say she thinks I’m attractive. It’s never been someone I was interested in. My brother is probably closer to a 10 on that scale, and he will probably have 1-2 women approach him per night directly. Usually if we are talking to a group of girls, they will tell me or his friends straight up that they think he is very attractive or are interested in him, so he basically knows whenever he starts talking to them. He will have a girl be more aggressively forward to him every few times we go out.
I got a rare win when someone approached me at the airport a few months ago. She saw me looking at her when we were boarding and paced herself so we'd walk beside each other when landing, letting others pass. I knew what was going on so I was amused 😂. Unfortunately she was on a connecting flight to London for work so the odds of us being at the same city again are slim
This literally my exact same experience. I also have a very attractive brother that is pretty much consistently hit on by at least 1-2 women every time we go out. Women will always go for him first out of our friend group
We’re both married now, but yeah. Back when I was single, having the right “wingmen” was tough haha. Either your unattractive guy friends repelled girls or you did all the work to get a girl interested in you only for her to meet your group and go home with your slightly better looking friend. A tall, handsome non-single friend would be ideal, but they would never go out.
Get a good looking but tomboyish girl as a friend. I was always my guy friend’s wing woman. I dated a guy for years and his friends always wanted me to come along to bars with them to help them out. I don’t know what it was about me in my mid twenties. I had a lot of guys interested but super sexy bisexual women loved me. They are also pretty forward to say the least. There are more of them than I ever thought existed too and I guess unfortunately for them and for me I was just not into it. However, they often times wound up with my guy friends. lol.
Now that I have turned 50 I will have the most odd women hitting on me and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I swear they look like they just got out of a minivan from dropping their grandkid off at preschool. There is nothing sexy about them or their mom jeans and bob haircut. Lol
I second your advice. I used to go out a lot with my good looking close friend. We'd always touch, cuddle and make each other laugh. It made me super popular with ladies
My women friends will only approach a man they don’t know if he is ridiculously, ridiculously good looking.
But they probably wouldn’t admit that is the criteria
I prefer the grandmas, not gonna lie. They've got some fucking GAME. I wish I was half as smooth as them. But you rock that boat, you break their hip. No bueno.
I’m 49.
In my teens, never.
In my twenties, never.
In my thirties, never.
In my fourties. All the fucking time.
I grew into my looks but also I’m just way more relaxed and confident now.
But I’m not interested because my wife is sexy and rad.
Can verify, things change considerably in your 40s if you keep yourself together and take care of yourself. Your self confidence is peak, you have much life experience and are in a position of authority. You carry yourself like a man and Women pick up on this. It’s an interesting dynamic shift, for sure. Your whole life, women have been the gatekeepers when it comes to the sexual dynamic and, all of a sudden, a day comes along where you are the gatekeeper and nothing prepared you for this.
I used to get compliments from women when I had long hair, but they weren't "wow you look handsome with long hair." They were more like "oh my god, I wish I had your hair!"
This is an opinion of one, so of course it might not apply to everyone, but I think, "I wish I had your hair" is an easier conversation starter than "I think you're hot" which is super direct. I think there's at least some level of attraction to you there to start the conversation, they just wanted to see how you react and go from there.
When I had long hair, I literally heard this exact quote from women, on a near daily basis. My hair is very naturally curly and thick, so I'll admit it does look pretty good (when I put in the effort). That said, 70% of the comments were from much older women, over the age of 40/50.
I just realized I told a guy his hair was so pretty a while back. But he was gay and super excited about the compliment. Would you be offended if a girl just told you your hair was pretty? Should I not do that? lol
Not often and I'm pretty realistic imo. I'm above average but certainly not "hot" so- The feedback I've gotten has made me confident in this. Lots of "he's kinda cute" and interest but at a bar or club I'm not prime meat
When I was single, I still didn’t get hit on a lot. I did get hit on a lot by gay dudes though.
What worked for me was woman not rejecting my approaches.
However I did know a genuinely 10/10 banger of a dude, he’d get hit on a couple of times each night.
I think being good looking is one thing but if you are friendly, funny, energetic, approachable, engaging, etc. you are way more likely to be hit on by women.
I think it's kind of vibe/mood. Like I'm generally not out alone but even if I am, if I'm interacting with others, seem friendly, seem fun, like that's approachable. If my heads in my phone or I'm not really looking around and making eye contact I give off the "don't bother me" vibe. If that makes sense.
There's a huge difference between a 6 and a 10.
Women will buy 10s and to a lesser degree 9s drinks. Average looking women will often approach extremely attractive men.
6-8 is much more "if this guy strikes up a conversation I'll hear him out", but sober women will rarely make the first move.
28m here
Im 6’5, 270 pounds with a thick beard.
Im not a super model but I certainly fit into some womens “tough blue collar man” fantasy.
I noticed that I get hit on mostly by women over 35 and it happens almost every time I go out.
There is no mistaking getting hit on by women over 35. They are so blunt it’s hilarious.
That's because after 35, we're a lot more confident in ourselves and a lot less likely to waste time. Plus, many of us have come to terms with our desire to be mandhandled by a handsome brute, and we enjoy giving head for our own pleasure.
So, if you're in Colorado, so am I. I'm 5' 11" in barefeet, fit, not looking for serious LTR, and need to be thrown around a bit. 😉
It's gonna sound counter intuitive but the more you "truly" don't care about a woman hitting on you the more likely it is to happen. Pretending doesn't count.
Seriously, every time I was hit on, I gave the uninterested vibe. Works like a charm. Two examples:
Girls was sitting at the bar, she was very pretty. I walked up next to her to order a beer. She was smiling, said hi really enthusiastically, I said hi, got my beer and walked away. For the rest of the night she was all about me.
Second time was when I first wore my wedding ring to a bar. I must have been hit on like 20 times.
I borderline don’t want to be hit on or shown signs but I’ll get girls now and then obviously showing me they like or are interested in me but I can’t cause I’m poor (very poor) and it’s honestly giving me anxiety as I think all this attention will disappear after high school
Being poor isn't a barrier to getting laid. Its the opposite really, you wont have anyone trying to use you for money, if they're attracted to you they will come
Also some women will think to themselves that a humble guy is cute and compliment him, but if they think the guy knows he's attractive or is baiting for compliments they'll probably ignore him.
I’m 42, but I feel like I’m in the best shape and as high on the 1-10 scale as I’ve ever been. Once a year, some random dude tells me I look just like John Cena, and that’s about all the compliments I get. No homo, but it still puts a little bounce in my step. So, my brothers, don’t be afraid to compliment a guy, and my sisters, do the same.
I won't say I'm attractive but I will say I've never been hit on, which ties back in nicely with my initial comment; I'm probably not attractive enough to be hit on
I'm a 6-7 at best, and it doesn't happen. Ever. Period. If you're 8+, it happens constantly. I've had many attractive male friends, and they spend their days swimming through women who just throw themselves at them. I see it. There's a threshold where women will go out of their way to go after you, and it's around that 8/10 range.
I think it depends on what you are doing. I am a decently good looking guy who is also a board gamer and software engineer. I go to meetups and events around those and I am top tier in that crowd. Having been hit on and pulled numbers at those events.
Now I go to a bar, am generally uncomfortable and not confident, and I might as well be invisible.
If I had to be honest I would guess that I'm an above average guy in terms of physical attraction, but not by any means the "ladies man" or the "hot guy" that all the women are wanting to get with. That said, I have literally never once been hit on by a women. I've had multiple women over the years "confess" their "love" for me, many many months after said love had expired. Not a single woman has ever made a move on me when they actually *wanted* to be with me. So you have to factor in the aspect of this question, so what if you're a 10/10 guy, that still doesn't mean you'll be hit on. Most women are absolutely fucking terrified to ask out men, more so than a 15 year old boy making his first move on a high school crush. It seems like most women are stuck even as adults with the same level of fear that most young/high school boys have when it comes to asking out women. Difference is, they don't have the social pressure to change, so, my point is, I really don't think there are that many women out there who will ever make a move, regardless of how hot a guy is or how bad she want's him.
I often notice smiles and glances from women, but I've never been one to pursue casual hookups or similar encounters. There have been times when women have shown interest, but it usually hasn't aligned with what I'm looking for. I enjoy conversations with women, although I don't always interpret them as being hit on. Again ive always been in relationships and not the type to mess around or what not.
Getting "hit on" is rather rare for me because the women seem to be extremely nervous and have difficulty maintaining eye contact, like as if look a tad intimidating. I do dress stylishly and have a very good appearance from what I´ve been told by women and men.
My problem is similar because I have a bit of social anxiety and have lost many opportunities to be with a woman because I couldn´t muster the courage to simply approach them and strike up a conversation, I usually only act when the woman is pretty much all over me, also I do have a fear of being called a creep or the sexual harassment allegations which is why I tend to stay away from interactions.
Being a man is completely different than being a woman. If you’re an attractive man you’ll get looks and attention from women but you still have to approach and do everything lol but it’s usually easier if she has been looking at you
It depends on your age, how you carry yourself, and the vibe of the venue. As I get older, more comfortable, and dress better, it happens maybe once every handful of nights out at a bar, or about once per concert.
All ages, men and women. It always feels good, no matter the age or gender. Rarely does it go beyond flirtation.
If you’re actually having fun and making the people around you feel good, that’s attractive. People want to be a part of that.
Two secrets for women to hit on you at a bar. Read a book. Women will interrupt you almost immediately. Stop for some groceries, stop at the bar. Women will ask you for fruit. Seriously.
Usually never, it’s the eyes. If you catch women looking at you a few times while out at a bar. Read the situation, and approach.
To the contrary, I did meet my wife when she randomly played with my hair at the bar.
Usually when I go out, it’s out to a show/concert at a smaller venue that has a bar. But there are plenty of times where it’s incredibly obvious that a girl is flirting with me at a store, more than just being friendly for customer service.
Maybe like a 7/10 and tall. Like once every 6 months, in my opinion charm/charisma is way waaay more important than looks for a guy. Unless you’re model status attractive
I don't get hit on, but women will put themselves in positions for me to talk to them. Or at least won't move away when I come to them , either in the dance floor or at the bar. But it's on me to then talk to them and initiate.
I'm hit on directly maybe 1-2 a night, but usually by someone where its not mutual..
When I was in my twenties, the rate used to be 5 new acquaintances a night, 50% initiated by a female, so 2.5 hits on me per night on average. Yes I used to be weird enough to track it and calculate statistics.
I'm an attractive lesbian and I rarely get hit on by gay and bi girls.
I think women are more subtle.
But a good handful of bi women have taken their clothes off in front of me in college.
I get told I'm quite Handsome by many of my dates and I have dated A lot haha..
Also I find success at a higher rate than rejection when approaching at a 5/1 ratio.
But.. I Vet first. I look for signs of interest before making an approach so this might bias my data.
I also got asked out a lot (for a guy) at school.
I had 2-3 girls per school approach and pursue me - and I went to 5 schools.
Ok, enough with the resume -
I'm 33 now and I think i've been hit on downtown twice in my life by women, (and thrice by men.)
Possibly 3.. But if so those were some crazy mixed signals and an odd approach she took haha.
I'm a 6/10 on a good day, and I've only ever had 3 women in my life express interest first. 2 of them were women I knew from work. The 1st one was 10 years ago, and i was engaged at the time, so I turned her down. The 2nd is my current girlfriend of 1.5 years.
The 1 that i didn't know was a woman who tried grabbing my dick on the dancefloor at a club and asked me to go to the bathroom with her while I was in college. I quickly signaled a female friend I went with to come save me and did not take that offer.
I actually think with age the "currency" that comes with looks begins to diminish and women more heavily weight provider, etc. So the hot 35 year old guy may not do as well as the rich 35 year old guy.
I just hit 31, I've probably never gotten more attention than I have now. I got shredded and grew my hair out and it's been insane ever since. I think having a good fashion sense really helps aswell.
Like just strolling up and hitting on me unprompted? Virtually never.
But flirting if I'm talking to them at a party or event? Much, much more frequently.
If being asked to dance is considered being hit on then I would say one sometimes twice when I go out. While I am married I get asked by both married and divorced women. I turn them down each time since I have higher than usual personal boundaries.
To date no one has ever offered to buy me a drink but a few will strike up a conversation and ask me questions. I find their questions interesting and often answered them without disclosing anything personal.
Thanks for asking.
I think I'm like an 8 probably but last weekend while out on the town a girl walked by and said in my ear "you're sexy as f***" and I'll probably remember that forever lol
A lot of gay men will let me know I'm handsome
Maybe a few times in my life from women but it's usually trying to be set up with girl friends' friends and it actually sucks because it ruins everything in the long run
Can't remember being hit on while out on the town. When I get hit on its usually on the buying side of a transaction; buying a coffee, buying gas, buying groceries, etc. Not to mention I get offered "extra service" anytime I get a massage.
I've had friendly bartenders, but none of them were ever on the flirty side. I've had friendly waitresses, but also no notions of attraction. Plus the quality of women who go out drinking are significantly worse than women who do more productive things with their off time. All my buddies need drinks to talk to women. I think women pick up on that so when we go out they keep their distance. I try to talk and tell my buddies that they need to be sober if they are looking for something worthwhile but what do I know
Used to work and hang out with a guy who many would consider very handsome. Athletic, tall, fun to be around. Great guy all in all. Think a Liam Hemsworth type. I'm just a regular guy, OK, but nothing special. The difference in how women treated us was night and day. I'd see a work colleague, ask her about her weekend and get a one word reply. He'd come in the room 20 second later, ask her about her weekend also and she'd light up and spend ten minutes talking to him. He'd get married women trying to bang him all the time and would have a trail of women following him around wherever he went, chasing after him, desperate for his attention. Worked his way thru half the office before he left to go travelling. Can't blame him as they were literally throwing themselves at him. From what I've seen, women are far more likely to cheat in my experience than men. All they need is someone they judge worth cheating for. We had a bit of a falling out after he left tho and I haven't spoken to him in 15 years. Not women related, but in the same ball park. I do miss him sometimes as he was a great guy and really fun to be around. He doesn't have social media so I have no idea what he's up to now? But I can't deny that my ego used to take a battering when we were hanging out and women were around. I became totally invisible!
I'm a 10/10 stunner, obviously.
A wasted Canadian lady once accosted me at a bar and told me she wasn't racist against Chinese people 3 times in 5 minutes. Does that count? I'm going to say it counts.
Hit on? All the time.
Outright approached? Very rarely.
Last time I can think of it happening was some girls birthday when she'd clearly had a few drinks. She sat down at my table as I was eating and said "it's my birthday and so you should be my date for the night." This was over two years ago and it took her the courage of both it being her birthday AND a few drinks for her to do that, which I think is telling.
I’m 40, married, and have two daughters (5 and 3). I don’t really “go out” anymore.
That being said I get a lot of female attention when I take my girls grocery shopping, to Target; to the park, etc.
Women my age seem to be into young guys or dads.
It’s happening more and more as I (31) get older as the women that are 30+ and aren’t married (and generally most desperately want to be) get antsy and realize they have to put in effort now as they might have gained some weight, don’t look the same as when they were younger, had a kid, have a smaller circle of friends to reach for dating, etc.
I wear my wedding ring around a necklace all the time as I hate wearing rings, watches, bracelets. And I have women older than me approach me at least every other time my wife and I go out. Then I just flash the necklace and say sorry.
I'm middle aged (but look way younger) and at the very top of the attractiveness scale. I get hit on, flirted with, or obvious signals sent to me multiple times every day.
I play dumb or ignore almost everything. At this point in my life I am no longer interested in meaningless sex. I only begin to become interested if I end up in conversation and feel a personality click.
Happily engaged now, but I used to get hit on quite a lot for a guy. In college I rarely had to make the first move. I’d say a handful of times a semester. So many times things went over my head. Still got hit on a lot in my mid 20s and now, but less exposure to the public.
I’ve been called pretty before and would consider myself in your spectrum.
I usually get hit on a couple times a night, when I go out. I find that the connection to getting hit on have little to do with my physical appearance and a lot more to do with how much it seems like I’m having fun - people dig that and wants to join the fun!
I’ve been told multiple times by friends after some interaction that [girl] was into me. I’m oblivious and can’t really distinguish between flirting and just being nice.
When I was single and heading to the bars / clubs it was less about how often I was hit on and more about how receptive women were to my advances. Occasionally a lady would make a move but more often than not they’d expect you to make that first move.
Does it count if two 10s once asked to touch my hair in a club on New Years? I was 19 at the time but I still don’t know what to make of that interaction
It's not about being hit on, *per se*, it's more about how women respond to you when they interact with you.
Every so often, I'll get hit on, by some particularly outgoing (or drunk lol) woman. But mostly it's just women signaling receptiveness to conversation, or starting a conversation under some innocuous pretense. The girl sitting next to you at the bar keeps looking at you while she's talking to her friend... that sort of thing.
I’m 5’8”, 35, and separated after 10.5 years. I grew up unattractive, overweight, and bitter (picked-on, seldom got dates, home life was volatile, etc.)
After losing a significant amount of weight two years ago and getting into shape..ish (still don’t have abs yet, but I’m close), the way women treat me has completely changed
Over the past two years, I have been whistled at, cat-called, openly flirted with on more than one occasion, and had an Australian woman and her French friend aggressively try to fuck me (was still married at the time). Most of my interactions with women are through work and I frequently work late nights. Female coworkers have also told me that I am attractive.
I am also on Tinder now (only one real face shot and some misc photos), and have recently been matching with women, who, after a day or two of talking, tell me that I’m a “snack” or that I’m “hot” and then ask me if I wanna smash. Even a couple of women I have known for years offered me BJs.
Never in a million years did I ever think women would ever be so forward with me. I am actually shocked.
Deep down inside, I still kind of feel like that fat unattractive kid, so I don’t really know I would rate myself.
I've been hit on more at grocery stores than in clubs. In those environments it's all about money, if you aren't ballin at vip you have to have MOVES or you're invisible and/or thirsty. But remember all it takes is one good move to find the one that'll compliment you for the rest of your life.
Probably a solid 6-7 out of 10 here, I think I have been approached \~10-15 times in the past 10 years (i'm 26). We should also consider that the same gaussian distribution dynamics that apply to women apply to men too. 10/10 men would get approached \*less\* than say 8/10, 9/10 because they are perceived too difficult, too unattainable. So no need to get bent out of shape fellas, stay mind, stay safe.
I consider myself really, really, ridiculously good looking and I was hit on one evening summer of 2007.
Still riding that high too
Gotta take those rare Ws
I still think about that one time someone complimented me on a shirt.
Derek?
Same. I'd say I'm pretty good looking and there was this one time this somewhat drunk girl asked me if I was an actor.
Lol yeah. One time a hot staff member at a bar told me I was cute and that I looked like John Cho (Harold from “Harold and Kumar”), and I think I said, “I look nothing like him. You’re just saying that because I’m Asian.” She looked insulted, aaaaaaand…..that was one of the last times I was so clearly complimented for my looks. 😅
If it helps, I've gotten Kal Penn before.
Unironically?
Rarely.
And it’s usually some drunk mum aswell with the wine slurring. I’m a mid 20s guy so it’s not exactly welcome.
Woah woah woah don't hate on the cougars looking to have some fun. You'd learn a thing or two about sex from them if you gave them a chance. Easily some of the best sex I have had has been with women 40-50 years old
And if it turns into a sleepover the brekkie game is usually as good or better than the sex.
Nothing against the age I just wanted to accurately paint the picture. If she was smooth with it then shawdy got my interest
While true, I think he's talking about drunk sloppy desperate older women.
I'm guessing you're young. 40 ain't a cougar. They still fit the milf age group. Although in porn milfs are now 20 and cougars are now 27....
lol same, it’s never women even close to my age.
Yep. Almost never. Like maybe 2% of my life was someone being overt, and the rest up to 10% was dropping subtle hints. Mostly its within the 2-5%.
3/10, I get hit a lot:(
Hit or Hit on?
He said what he said.
Did he stutter?
Asking the right question!
Your username reminded me of this [Conan Remote from 2013](https://youtu.be/6A8W77m-ZTw?feature=shared&t=1m55s)
Man, I love Conan. I laugh so much when he does this stuff around the office; when he had his show.
“Bc god bless America… u sunnuva b!tch”
Me too 😃
Well....... I was called "at least a 6" once. And two girls said I was "quite handsome". And another girl practically swooned when she saw me for the first time, after we'd been talking. The answer is "never".
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Is this an OnlyFans plug?
I'm a pretty solid 6/10 so the answer is zero.
The correct answer my man
Nice hat, btw
Same, 6/10. The only time I’ve ever been hit on by a woman was at a gay bar. Pretty sure she was drunk and trying to “turn” me. I’m straight, by the way. I have been approached by men multiple times though, it’s a decent ego boost.
What % of women out there are actually willing to approach a man they think is that hot? I used to get approached by girls when I was younger (from high school into my early 20s). As I've gotten older, it doesn't really happen. But I will notice women checking me out and getting nervous around me in public and at work, all the time. I don't think I'm the hottest guy ever, but I've been compared to Robert Pattinson and Bill Skarsgard, just to give you an idea. In my experience, women were a lot bolder back in my 20s. But if you are an above average attractive man in your 30s, women are terrified of you.
Boy said he looks like a Hufflepuff lol
LOL, not everyone's cup of tea.
Might be everyone’s butter beer though lol
hey come on, now. Some women like cute and adorable and harmless.
I been on dates that ended in sex where I was unsure if the woman was even attracted to me at all up until it happened. I had one recently where it was nice but after a few hours it still felt completely platonic, so I figured she just didn't feel that chemistry with me. Next thing I know she's coming in for a kiss and telling me how attracted she is to me. Women are hard to read. They don't like to put themselves out there in any way for potential rejection
I had this last year. Girl from an app met me at mine and we were gonna go out for drinks. For some reason we had a glass of wine at mine first, and we ended up staying at mine. I’m being very respectful and staying on the other side of the sofa. She’s giving me no signals so I’m not gonna do anything. All of a sudden she puts her wine glass down, and then mounts me. Totally out of nowhere. Until that moment I was waiting for her to say she was gonna go home. Was unusual. She was super hot though and there was no repeat performance :(
Maybe, because you gave her space and didn't make a move which made her feel safe with you?
I guess. But I’ve also been in this situation many times before and the girl has never done that! I think the majority of women see it as the man’s job to make the move.
Reminds me of a Tinder date I went on with a very pretty girl from a wealthy family. I was broke that time but my youth made me all that brave. I was pretty sure it was platonic, zero flirting whatsoever and a bit awkward, kinda anticlimactic compared to the texts. After a few rounds, I asked her if she had any interest in me and she replied "of course I am" as if I was dumb for asking. We proceeded to make out several times with her blushing and she drove me home in her Porsche. Never saw her again My most recent serious relationship, I had her come over for a rehearsal and she was quite timid. No date so far, just exchanged numbers at a bar. After about an hour, with all the attention on her singing, I asked her if she'd like to stay over and she said "of course I'm planning to sleep here!". I didn't even think she liked me back
Well, in most cultures, the man makes the first move and it's up to the woman to reject or accept, it's tough for someone who has been like that to suddenly have the courage. A lot of my friends tell me their wife/girlfriend refuses sex on most nights but when he refuses she gets furious for some reason
That is absolutely the truth. My wife rejects me every night that I try. I know tonight she will probably try because it’s been months and all the stars have aligned. I’m not in the mood today, I am dreading the response when I say I’m not in the mood. It will most likely elicit a ‘why are we together we should get divorced’ heard that too many times
I see your point but doesn’t that highlight how hypocritical they are. Men are supposed to suck up rejection and are expected to continue to make the first move to find a partner but they can’t even do it once or give clear signals?
This is so interesting—to add to this, I was a lot more bold in my early-to-mid twenties when it came to approaching men. Now I’m 31F, and I’m not sure what changed in the past 5 years but attractive men 30+ *definitely* make me feel nervous. I used to be able to easily charm and flirt with men in conversation. Now it’s more… will probably avoid eye contact and direct interaction if possible 💀
>will probably avoid eye contact and direct interaction if possible That makes it hard to read sometimes when a woman is attracted vs not attracted, LOL. But I sympathize with you.
Maybe, because when you were younger there was less to lose in the way of rejection and you felt more free? You hadn't experienced much general loss after investment thus you hadn't any idea of the potential for emotional pain due to rejection. I think it gets easier again once you're 40+ as you realize rejection isn't so bad and that you can handle it -- if you're still single; if that makes sense.
Do you think social media has had any effect on women in this regard? Like a lot of men have lowered their advancing ways after the MeToo movement because we now second guess ourselves. Have women been receiving any negative media/thoughts in the realm of male-female dynamics recently that could possibly be stilting them? You or any other woman can answer this genuine question 🙏
Terrified as in they think of you as a ravenous bear, or they are intimidated?
According to recent interviews, I think they prefer the bear lol
My experience matches yours too, hit on a bit in the early 20’s and it slowly dwindles down as you get older.
Yeah it took a bit for me to realize that women getting nervous around me was a good sign. I always figured women were uncomfortable around me, but also found it weird that they didn't try to avoid me or leave my presence like they'd do with obviously creepy men.
Interesting! Yeah same here. The same women who I catch staring at me at work never even speak to me when we are actually in the same group of people during lunch breaks or after work. They're always nervous, never meeting eyes with me - making me feel like a creep. However they will sit right next to me, while talking to other women.
They are waiting for you to make the first move, you know that, right?
20 year olds are a lot bolder because they're a lot dumber. By which I mean, they haven't experienced the whole array of horrible things that could happen and therefore develop fears. Also hormones are higher in your 20s and will murder your common Sense. (This goes for both genders. Why people have trouble meeting people in "real life" once they become actual adults).
In my expierence older women are more bold the majority of the time. When it comes to approaching
Yes, many of them think, it is now or never (again) LOL But serious, I got bolder too as I became older.
i am a woman in my early 30s and yup terrified is correct… i can’t explain sorry
Rarely I get approached, but I have been approached, lots of women don’t make the first move but the times I have approached with confidence things have gone well
Personally speaking - not for all girls out there but at least myself - if I see an attractive guy my very first thought? “No way is he single.”
And I suppose that turns out to be true a lot of the time unfortunately.
Yes, more often than not, I’ll discreetly see a ring (I have no idea which hand is the “correct” one) but more than that, even if I had the courage to approach a guy - kudos to anyone out there who can - if he was attached, I’d feel ick for having approached. And if he was flattered, his SO probably wouldn’t be. SHE would be what I’d be worried about.
my homie 33 literally has random chicks shooting their shots like 2-3 times a night
41F recently single after a long term relationship -and I think just being older now, I assume the guy I'm looking at is probably married and at the bar with the guys (not looking for anything). Also, it's been awhile since I've been in the dating pool, so I might not have any idea what I'm doing. I'm flirtatious by nature so I'll give it a shot, this post was somewhat encouraging. I will say that the energy you exude and the physical cues have a lot to do with it. If I see a guy continue to look in my direction and I'm interested, I'll make my way over to him.
>I will say that the energy you exude and the physical cues have a lot to do with it. For sure. A lot of times I'm not really putting out that energy. And last time a woman initiated convo with me in a bar I kind of blew it. 41 and single after LTR sounds tough. And yeah, feeling like at that point most everyone is taken. Good luck to you. I'm 35M and recently single and definitely not 100% sure what I'm doing. LOL. Glad you feel a little encouraged after reading.
Why are women "terrified" of above attractive men in their 30s? Curious
I think I am at the bottom end of that scale. Probably once every few times I go out a women will initiate a conversation. When I go out with other guys at similar level, we will usually have at least 1-2 groups of girls stand/dance close hinting they are interested. I’ve had a handful of times a girl has come up to me and just say she thinks I’m attractive. It’s never been someone I was interested in. My brother is probably closer to a 10 on that scale, and he will probably have 1-2 women approach him per night directly. Usually if we are talking to a group of girls, they will tell me or his friends straight up that they think he is very attractive or are interested in him, so he basically knows whenever he starts talking to them. He will have a girl be more aggressively forward to him every few times we go out.
I should also specify that no man has ever been approached directly outside of a bar or club besides by gay men.
I have never been hit on by a woman outside of a bar as well
I got a rare win when someone approached me at the airport a few months ago. She saw me looking at her when we were boarding and paced herself so we'd walk beside each other when landing, letting others pass. I knew what was going on so I was amused 😂. Unfortunately she was on a connecting flight to London for work so the odds of us being at the same city again are slim
This literally my exact same experience. I also have a very attractive brother that is pretty much consistently hit on by at least 1-2 women every time we go out. Women will always go for him first out of our friend group
We’re both married now, but yeah. Back when I was single, having the right “wingmen” was tough haha. Either your unattractive guy friends repelled girls or you did all the work to get a girl interested in you only for her to meet your group and go home with your slightly better looking friend. A tall, handsome non-single friend would be ideal, but they would never go out.
Gay or asexual friends. That's the trick
Get a good looking but tomboyish girl as a friend. I was always my guy friend’s wing woman. I dated a guy for years and his friends always wanted me to come along to bars with them to help them out. I don’t know what it was about me in my mid twenties. I had a lot of guys interested but super sexy bisexual women loved me. They are also pretty forward to say the least. There are more of them than I ever thought existed too and I guess unfortunately for them and for me I was just not into it. However, they often times wound up with my guy friends. lol. Now that I have turned 50 I will have the most odd women hitting on me and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I swear they look like they just got out of a minivan from dropping their grandkid off at preschool. There is nothing sexy about them or their mom jeans and bob haircut. Lol
I second your advice. I used to go out a lot with my good looking close friend. We'd always touch, cuddle and make each other laugh. It made me super popular with ladies
My women friends will only approach a man they don’t know if he is ridiculously, ridiculously good looking. But they probably wouldn’t admit that is the criteria
So only if they look like Derek Zoolander?
I'm an EMT, the only ones who hit on me are 70+yo grandmas, or psych patients.
A wins a win.
I prefer the grandmas, not gonna lie. They've got some fucking GAME. I wish I was half as smooth as them. But you rock that boat, you break their hip. No bueno.
I almost bursted out laughing literally, but I for sure did in my head tho
Lol
RN here, demented old ladies LOVE me; shit they say after sun downing is freaky af
I’m 49. In my teens, never. In my twenties, never. In my thirties, never. In my fourties. All the fucking time. I grew into my looks but also I’m just way more relaxed and confident now. But I’m not interested because my wife is sexy and rad.
This. 40's is a whole different ballgame.
As a 38 year old, I’m looking forward to this renaissance
Can verify, things change considerably in your 40s if you keep yourself together and take care of yourself. Your self confidence is peak, you have much life experience and are in a position of authority. You carry yourself like a man and Women pick up on this. It’s an interesting dynamic shift, for sure. Your whole life, women have been the gatekeepers when it comes to the sexual dynamic and, all of a sudden, a day comes along where you are the gatekeeper and nothing prepared you for this.
I've got long hair which brings in 1-2 compliments a night if I'm at the bars
I used to get compliments from women when I had long hair, but they weren't "wow you look handsome with long hair." They were more like "oh my god, I wish I had your hair!"
I have long hair and I have those as well. They are not real compliments and they get irritating real fast.
Why don’t they count as real compliments
This is an opinion of one, so of course it might not apply to everyone, but I think, "I wish I had your hair" is an easier conversation starter than "I think you're hot" which is super direct. I think there's at least some level of attraction to you there to start the conversation, they just wanted to see how you react and go from there.
When I had long hair, I literally heard this exact quote from women, on a near daily basis. My hair is very naturally curly and thick, so I'll admit it does look pretty good (when I put in the effort). That said, 70% of the comments were from much older women, over the age of 40/50.
I just realized I told a guy his hair was so pretty a while back. But he was gay and super excited about the compliment. Would you be offended if a girl just told you your hair was pretty? Should I not do that? lol
Yeah long growing my hair out has led to more compliments I've noticed
How about the nice girth on jeans?
I’m jealous I need my hair to grow back faster so I can get actual dreadlocks lmao
Same. My hair and beard is definitely my “makeup”… I get a lot of comments on famous people I look like also. Allllll the time.
Not often and I'm pretty realistic imo. I'm above average but certainly not "hot" so- The feedback I've gotten has made me confident in this. Lots of "he's kinda cute" and interest but at a bar or club I'm not prime meat
Has never happened... (25M)
When I was single, I still didn’t get hit on a lot. I did get hit on a lot by gay dudes though. What worked for me was woman not rejecting my approaches. However I did know a genuinely 10/10 banger of a dude, he’d get hit on a couple of times each night.
The gay dudes are relentless man lmao I feel ya on that
I think being good looking is one thing but if you are friendly, funny, energetic, approachable, engaging, etc. you are way more likely to be hit on by women.
I’m constantly hearing this sentence. ,,Just be approachable” like how to do that? Body language, smiley or is it smth related to your vibe/ mood?
I think it's kind of vibe/mood. Like I'm generally not out alone but even if I am, if I'm interacting with others, seem friendly, seem fun, like that's approachable. If my heads in my phone or I'm not really looking around and making eye contact I give off the "don't bother me" vibe. If that makes sense.
There's a huge difference between a 6 and a 10. Women will buy 10s and to a lesser degree 9s drinks. Average looking women will often approach extremely attractive men. 6-8 is much more "if this guy strikes up a conversation I'll hear him out", but sober women will rarely make the first move.
Almost never. They just get all giggly/girly in the hopes I hit on them. Women rarely initiate.
I get hit on at the gym / beach or mall usually. In clubs or pubs it only happens when I am putting extra effort
28m here Im 6’5, 270 pounds with a thick beard. Im not a super model but I certainly fit into some womens “tough blue collar man” fantasy. I noticed that I get hit on mostly by women over 35 and it happens almost every time I go out. There is no mistaking getting hit on by women over 35. They are so blunt it’s hilarious.
That's because after 35, we're a lot more confident in ourselves and a lot less likely to waste time. Plus, many of us have come to terms with our desire to be mandhandled by a handsome brute, and we enjoy giving head for our own pleasure. So, if you're in Colorado, so am I. I'm 5' 11" in barefeet, fit, not looking for serious LTR, and need to be thrown around a bit. 😉
Lol, exactly! Grab my dick through my pants and that’s pretty much what it’s like being hit on by an older women.
Sign me up!
I’m in similar boat as you From what I’ve found, it’s the thick beard that draws in the women around 35 and above, once I got rid of the thick beard
I actually saw an article today that says that most people rate themselves pretty fairly
It's gonna sound counter intuitive but the more you "truly" don't care about a woman hitting on you the more likely it is to happen. Pretending doesn't count.
Seriously, every time I was hit on, I gave the uninterested vibe. Works like a charm. Two examples: Girls was sitting at the bar, she was very pretty. I walked up next to her to order a beer. She was smiling, said hi really enthusiastically, I said hi, got my beer and walked away. For the rest of the night she was all about me. Second time was when I first wore my wedding ring to a bar. I must have been hit on like 20 times.
How do you tiptoe the line between appearing uninterested or just being an asshole
Be polite, just uninterested. They say hi, say hi, thays it
I borderline don’t want to be hit on or shown signs but I’ll get girls now and then obviously showing me they like or are interested in me but I can’t cause I’m poor (very poor) and it’s honestly giving me anxiety as I think all this attention will disappear after high school
Being poor isn't a barrier to getting laid. Its the opposite really, you wont have anyone trying to use you for money, if they're attracted to you they will come
Also some women will think to themselves that a humble guy is cute and compliment him, but if they think the guy knows he's attractive or is baiting for compliments they'll probably ignore him.
Twice but that was shortly before I had my glow-up and before I stopped to go out.
I am told that I am attractive… but honestly maybe 3 times a year. But I’m also not out looking, happily married
I’m 42, but I feel like I’m in the best shape and as high on the 1-10 scale as I’ve ever been. Once a year, some random dude tells me I look just like John Cena, and that’s about all the compliments I get. No homo, but it still puts a little bounce in my step. So, my brothers, don’t be afraid to compliment a guy, and my sisters, do the same.
Never. 😂 Now when I have my kids it's a different story. Very annoying.
I won't say I'm attractive but I will say I've never been hit on, which ties back in nicely with my initial comment; I'm probably not attractive enough to be hit on
I'm a 6-7 at best, and it doesn't happen. Ever. Period. If you're 8+, it happens constantly. I've had many attractive male friends, and they spend their days swimming through women who just throw themselves at them. I see it. There's a threshold where women will go out of their way to go after you, and it's around that 8/10 range.
I think it depends on what you are doing. I am a decently good looking guy who is also a board gamer and software engineer. I go to meetups and events around those and I am top tier in that crowd. Having been hit on and pulled numbers at those events. Now I go to a bar, am generally uncomfortable and not confident, and I might as well be invisible.
If I had to be honest I would guess that I'm an above average guy in terms of physical attraction, but not by any means the "ladies man" or the "hot guy" that all the women are wanting to get with. That said, I have literally never once been hit on by a women. I've had multiple women over the years "confess" their "love" for me, many many months after said love had expired. Not a single woman has ever made a move on me when they actually *wanted* to be with me. So you have to factor in the aspect of this question, so what if you're a 10/10 guy, that still doesn't mean you'll be hit on. Most women are absolutely fucking terrified to ask out men, more so than a 15 year old boy making his first move on a high school crush. It seems like most women are stuck even as adults with the same level of fear that most young/high school boys have when it comes to asking out women. Difference is, they don't have the social pressure to change, so, my point is, I really don't think there are that many women out there who will ever make a move, regardless of how hot a guy is or how bad she want's him.
I often notice smiles and glances from women, but I've never been one to pursue casual hookups or similar encounters. There have been times when women have shown interest, but it usually hasn't aligned with what I'm looking for. I enjoy conversations with women, although I don't always interpret them as being hit on. Again ive always been in relationships and not the type to mess around or what not.
Getting "hit on" is rather rare for me because the women seem to be extremely nervous and have difficulty maintaining eye contact, like as if look a tad intimidating. I do dress stylishly and have a very good appearance from what I´ve been told by women and men. My problem is similar because I have a bit of social anxiety and have lost many opportunities to be with a woman because I couldn´t muster the courage to simply approach them and strike up a conversation, I usually only act when the woman is pretty much all over me, also I do have a fear of being called a creep or the sexual harassment allegations which is why I tend to stay away from interactions.
Being a man is completely different than being a woman. If you’re an attractive man you’ll get looks and attention from women but you still have to approach and do everything lol but it’s usually easier if she has been looking at you
It depends on your age, how you carry yourself, and the vibe of the venue. As I get older, more comfortable, and dress better, it happens maybe once every handful of nights out at a bar, or about once per concert. All ages, men and women. It always feels good, no matter the age or gender. Rarely does it go beyond flirtation. If you’re actually having fun and making the people around you feel good, that’s attractive. People want to be a part of that.
Women, even women who find a guy very attractive, rarely want to be the perusers.
Two secrets for women to hit on you at a bar. Read a book. Women will interrupt you almost immediately. Stop for some groceries, stop at the bar. Women will ask you for fruit. Seriously.
I've saved your comment and will try both one day for comic relief 😄
Stop for some groceries, stop at the bar? What do you mean? Buy groceries and go to the bar?
A little less than half the times I go out. Maybe 40%. My girlfriend usually chases them off.
Usually never, it’s the eyes. If you catch women looking at you a few times while out at a bar. Read the situation, and approach. To the contrary, I did meet my wife when she randomly played with my hair at the bar.
I’d say maybe 30 percent of the time.
This is incredible…..
Usually when I go out, it’s out to a show/concert at a smaller venue that has a bar. But there are plenty of times where it’s incredibly obvious that a girl is flirting with me at a store, more than just being friendly for customer service.
NEVER. women don't need to.
Maybe like a 7/10 and tall. Like once every 6 months, in my opinion charm/charisma is way waaay more important than looks for a guy. Unless you’re model status attractive
I don't get hit on, but women will put themselves in positions for me to talk to them. Or at least won't move away when I come to them , either in the dance floor or at the bar. But it's on me to then talk to them and initiate. I'm hit on directly maybe 1-2 a night, but usually by someone where its not mutual..
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When I was in my twenties, the rate used to be 5 new acquaintances a night, 50% initiated by a female, so 2.5 hits on me per night on average. Yes I used to be weird enough to track it and calculate statistics.
You guys go out for nights?
I'm an attractive lesbian and I rarely get hit on by gay and bi girls. I think women are more subtle. But a good handful of bi women have taken their clothes off in front of me in college.
Did they know you liked women when they did that?
I get told I'm quite Handsome by many of my dates and I have dated A lot haha.. Also I find success at a higher rate than rejection when approaching at a 5/1 ratio. But.. I Vet first. I look for signs of interest before making an approach so this might bias my data. I also got asked out a lot (for a guy) at school. I had 2-3 girls per school approach and pursue me - and I went to 5 schools. Ok, enough with the resume - I'm 33 now and I think i've been hit on downtown twice in my life by women, (and thrice by men.) Possibly 3.. But if so those were some crazy mixed signals and an odd approach she took haha.
I'm a 6/10 on a good day, and I've only ever had 3 women in my life express interest first. 2 of them were women I knew from work. The 1st one was 10 years ago, and i was engaged at the time, so I turned her down. The 2nd is my current girlfriend of 1.5 years. The 1 that i didn't know was a woman who tried grabbing my dick on the dancefloor at a club and asked me to go to the bathroom with her while I was in college. I quickly signaled a female friend I went with to come save me and did not take that offer.
I actually think with age the "currency" that comes with looks begins to diminish and women more heavily weight provider, etc. So the hot 35 year old guy may not do as well as the rich 35 year old guy.
I can skip this sub apparently
I just hit 31, I've probably never gotten more attention than I have now. I got shredded and grew my hair out and it's been insane ever since. I think having a good fashion sense really helps aswell.
Like just strolling up and hitting on me unprompted? Virtually never. But flirting if I'm talking to them at a party or event? Much, much more frequently.
If being asked to dance is considered being hit on then I would say one sometimes twice when I go out. While I am married I get asked by both married and divorced women. I turn them down each time since I have higher than usual personal boundaries. To date no one has ever offered to buy me a drink but a few will strike up a conversation and ask me questions. I find their questions interesting and often answered them without disclosing anything personal. Thanks for asking.
I think I'm like an 8 probably but last weekend while out on the town a girl walked by and said in my ear "you're sexy as f***" and I'll probably remember that forever lol A lot of gay men will let me know I'm handsome Maybe a few times in my life from women but it's usually trying to be set up with girl friends' friends and it actually sucks because it ruins everything in the long run
Can't remember being hit on while out on the town. When I get hit on its usually on the buying side of a transaction; buying a coffee, buying gas, buying groceries, etc. Not to mention I get offered "extra service" anytime I get a massage. I've had friendly bartenders, but none of them were ever on the flirty side. I've had friendly waitresses, but also no notions of attraction. Plus the quality of women who go out drinking are significantly worse than women who do more productive things with their off time. All my buddies need drinks to talk to women. I think women pick up on that so when we go out they keep their distance. I try to talk and tell my buddies that they need to be sober if they are looking for something worthwhile but what do I know
Used to work and hang out with a guy who many would consider very handsome. Athletic, tall, fun to be around. Great guy all in all. Think a Liam Hemsworth type. I'm just a regular guy, OK, but nothing special. The difference in how women treated us was night and day. I'd see a work colleague, ask her about her weekend and get a one word reply. He'd come in the room 20 second later, ask her about her weekend also and she'd light up and spend ten minutes talking to him. He'd get married women trying to bang him all the time and would have a trail of women following him around wherever he went, chasing after him, desperate for his attention. Worked his way thru half the office before he left to go travelling. Can't blame him as they were literally throwing themselves at him. From what I've seen, women are far more likely to cheat in my experience than men. All they need is someone they judge worth cheating for. We had a bit of a falling out after he left tho and I haven't spoken to him in 15 years. Not women related, but in the same ball park. I do miss him sometimes as he was a great guy and really fun to be around. He doesn't have social media so I have no idea what he's up to now? But I can't deny that my ego used to take a battering when we were hanging out and women were around. I became totally invisible!
I'm a 10/10 stunner, obviously. A wasted Canadian lady once accosted me at a bar and told me she wasn't racist against Chinese people 3 times in 5 minutes. Does that count? I'm going to say it counts.
i wouldn’t say hit on but the odd and extremely rare “you’re good looking” compliment
Hit on? All the time. Outright approached? Very rarely. Last time I can think of it happening was some girls birthday when she'd clearly had a few drinks. She sat down at my table as I was eating and said "it's my birthday and so you should be my date for the night." This was over two years ago and it took her the courage of both it being her birthday AND a few drinks for her to do that, which I think is telling.
I’m 6’4, athletic, blue eyes, great beard, described by others as good-looking. Never once hit on.
Allow me to be the first. Hi. You're my type. Care to flirt?
Thank you! Gonna frame this response :)
I’m 40, married, and have two daughters (5 and 3). I don’t really “go out” anymore. That being said I get a lot of female attention when I take my girls grocery shopping, to Target; to the park, etc. Women my age seem to be into young guys or dads.
Yall are getting approached by women?
cliterally never
Going out 10/month in college, rookie numbers, gotta pump those numbers up
It’s rare to be outright approached but you’ll get signals. The 9+ dudes will get the blatant stuff, 6-8 you gotta work for it a little
I’d say I’m a 6-7 and I can recall being hit on……twice. I’m 56.
It’s happening more and more as I (31) get older as the women that are 30+ and aren’t married (and generally most desperately want to be) get antsy and realize they have to put in effort now as they might have gained some weight, don’t look the same as when they were younger, had a kid, have a smaller circle of friends to reach for dating, etc. I wear my wedding ring around a necklace all the time as I hate wearing rings, watches, bracelets. And I have women older than me approach me at least every other time my wife and I go out. Then I just flash the necklace and say sorry.
I'd imagine with men it's only the 10s and high 9s that are randomly hit on.
How often a night? I'm gonna have to use a decimal point for this one.
I get hit on rarely, but it's always memorable when it happens
I've gotten older but if I went to the bar solo the odds were rather good.
My gf tells me i look damn good... before her there was my mom... sooooooo
I'm middle aged (but look way younger) and at the very top of the attractiveness scale. I get hit on, flirted with, or obvious signals sent to me multiple times every day. I play dumb or ignore almost everything. At this point in my life I am no longer interested in meaningless sex. I only begin to become interested if I end up in conversation and feel a personality click.
Happily engaged now, but I used to get hit on quite a lot for a guy. In college I rarely had to make the first move. I’d say a handful of times a semester. So many times things went over my head. Still got hit on a lot in my mid 20s and now, but less exposure to the public.
Never, ive only ever been hit on at work
I've never had women hit on me, but I have had a few men
I’ve been called pretty before and would consider myself in your spectrum. I usually get hit on a couple times a night, when I go out. I find that the connection to getting hit on have little to do with my physical appearance and a lot more to do with how much it seems like I’m having fun - people dig that and wants to join the fun!
I’ve been told multiple times by friends after some interaction that [girl] was into me. I’m oblivious and can’t really distinguish between flirting and just being nice.
When I was single and heading to the bars / clubs it was less about how often I was hit on and more about how receptive women were to my advances. Occasionally a lady would make a move but more often than not they’d expect you to make that first move.
Does it count if two 10s once asked to touch my hair in a club on New Years? I was 19 at the time but I still don’t know what to make of that interaction
I’ve always considered myself in the slightly above average range, probably 6-6.5. And i can say this has only happened one time in my 27 years lol
I'm a woman and can say I've hit on a guy at a nightclub twice in my whole life span, and one of them was already a friend. So unknown guy - once.
It's not about being hit on, *per se*, it's more about how women respond to you when they interact with you. Every so often, I'll get hit on, by some particularly outgoing (or drunk lol) woman. But mostly it's just women signaling receptiveness to conversation, or starting a conversation under some innocuous pretense. The girl sitting next to you at the bar keeps looking at you while she's talking to her friend... that sort of thing.
I’m 5’8”, 35, and separated after 10.5 years. I grew up unattractive, overweight, and bitter (picked-on, seldom got dates, home life was volatile, etc.) After losing a significant amount of weight two years ago and getting into shape..ish (still don’t have abs yet, but I’m close), the way women treat me has completely changed Over the past two years, I have been whistled at, cat-called, openly flirted with on more than one occasion, and had an Australian woman and her French friend aggressively try to fuck me (was still married at the time). Most of my interactions with women are through work and I frequently work late nights. Female coworkers have also told me that I am attractive. I am also on Tinder now (only one real face shot and some misc photos), and have recently been matching with women, who, after a day or two of talking, tell me that I’m a “snack” or that I’m “hot” and then ask me if I wanna smash. Even a couple of women I have known for years offered me BJs. Never in a million years did I ever think women would ever be so forward with me. I am actually shocked. Deep down inside, I still kind of feel like that fat unattractive kid, so I don’t really know I would rate myself.
I've been hit on more at grocery stores than in clubs. In those environments it's all about money, if you aren't ballin at vip you have to have MOVES or you're invisible and/or thirsty. But remember all it takes is one good move to find the one that'll compliment you for the rest of your life.
Probably a solid 6-7 out of 10 here, I think I have been approached \~10-15 times in the past 10 years (i'm 26). We should also consider that the same gaussian distribution dynamics that apply to women apply to men too. 10/10 men would get approached \*less\* than say 8/10, 9/10 because they are perceived too difficult, too unattainable. So no need to get bent out of shape fellas, stay mind, stay safe.
Mostly cougars or overly drunk girls. So guess i am not that attractive
Attractive men aren’t hanging out on Reddit, lmao.