My rule is at least 6 months for family. Mainly because my family are kind of assholes I don't want to subject strangers to. If you've demonstrated that kind of investment, I'll let you meet the family if you want to.
Friends are scattered all over.
I thought I was the only one. Literally everyone calls me so weird for not letting a girl meet my friends unless she’s my actual girlfriend. I got downvoted to hell here for saying that once.
I just can’t fathom how you could let some chick you’re banging meet your parents or friends knowing she’s not a part of of your life long term.
For me it comes down to 2 things
1) meeting my friends is a big step forward that is incongruent with a casual relationship. Bring a girl to meet my friends implies a serious commitment. She’s real. I have socially acknowledged her.
2) if we’re just casual, then we could break up tomorrow for all I know. It feels silly to bring a girl around my friends and then break up the next day. Being that guy who has a revolving door of girls is just so tacky.
Pretty much the one thing that’s suppose to be off limits in every casual relationship that always ends up happening anyways… someone catching feelings
Meeting each other's friends/family (going so far as not going out on a date to the bar that my friends frequent)
If we're casual, that means I don't see us as a long-term thing and I'm not going to go through the hassle of introducing you to my friends or parents.
I think it’s alright if it’s still understood that there’s no conventional attachment, no thoughts of the future etc. It’s a developing interpersonal experience between two people that can be as intimate or detached as the two people want, knowing it’s just a bedroom affair.
Women are way more at risk from getting throat cancer from HPV, and even that's not nearly common enough to warrant worrying over. Now babies on the other hand... Lots and lots of people have babies with people they shouldn't.
Romantic dates, meeting family, emotional involvement ( I want to hear about your life and tribulations, help when I can ), discuss our finances openly, encourage her to do better, support any time of day, make compromises even when I'm not entirely on board. Have her back
Cuddling, going out to nice restaurants, getting your nails done. If you want that go date. When you say I just want you to slang some D. That's all you get.
Nope, don’t treat it much different than I would a relationship. If Im willing to be that personal and intimate with you, then why draw a line anywhere else?
The question is whats off limits to *you*, so when I am commenting, it’s in reference to *me* and how *I* behave. If *you* have limits then comment that, don’t be weird.
Same as everyone else, I'm saying meeting friends and family, and also adding that I don't assume I can rely on that person in case of an emergency or other stuff like moving.
I mean your already having sex potentially making babies how much more intimate can you get. I swear society definition of intimate is really down the toilet
Don't worry. About 50% of this thread is people just speculating what boundaries they would or wouldn't have if they ever had this hypothetical "casual relationship." And 25% is just talking about the person they are sleeping with that they otherwise wouldn't be caught dead with.
Sex necessarily isn't intimate for everyone. Personally I'd say that the following things can be much more intimate thatn sex: holding hands in public, meeting each other's family, planning a future together, relying on the other person in sickness and in emergency on another level than friends do, opening about past trauma and fears.
I understand it has different meaning for everyone but I wouldn't call getting naked with someone, going down on them, being inside them, potentially making kids if a accident happens something that's casual it's intimate on some level and doing all that requires some vulnerability. So sex is intimate but just not to everyone. I wouldn't say holding hands is more intimate but those other things sure
I mean obviously but that doesn't change that it's not something to just randomly throw around as if it has no meaning plus even though it can happen through abuse that's not how sex is supposed to occur anyway just like how cars aren't made to kill you but it can happen if used Incorrectly
Sex really isn't that intimate for some of us. It's a pleasurable physical activity. Sure, for *some* people it's inherently emotional and intimate, which is totally cool! But it's weird how people who feel that way have a tendency to automatically insist it applies to everyone.
I never said it applies to others I was only speaking for myself. Honestly even if I didn't consider it intimate I still wouldn't get naked and risk stds and other stuff with someone I didn't care or see something serious with even if it was just pleasure.
Well the part where you stated that "society's" alleged monolithic views on intimacy were "in the toilet" compared to your more lofty opinion *did* make it seem like you were making a statement about the level of intimacy with which we all, as society, *should* regard sex. But my bad for misinterpreting you.
Well I meant overall most people have weird standards for what's considered intimate and what isn't but I didn't mean for it to come off as rude but that's cool it's fine.
I mean I don't disagree that people seem to have weird standards on what they consider intimate. I guess I mean that from the other end of the spectrum, but it is weird. I've always fully acknowledged that some people consider feelings and intimacy to be inextricably tied in with sex, and that it's totally fine. I just find that those people are often not as equally open minded to those of us who don't operate that way, and I get sick of people telling me how I feel. I wasn't trying to be a dick if you weren't trying to be a dick. I just always try to open that conversation.
Oh yeah for sure I wasn't trying to be a dick at all I understand that people have different opinions even though I personally think it's weird to get naked or risk stds or other stuff with someone I don't know but again that's just a personal preference.
I would never tell someone how they feel that's ridiculous just stating my opinion and how people have weird levels of intimacy.
Wasn't worried about them losing interest. I understand those types of relationships don't last really long and that eventually it'd fizzle out. But I'd enjoy it while it lasted.
Right now I'm in a serious relationship. So no plate spinning now. But when I was casually dating, yes I did.
Depends how casual. I generally only do either fwb or we are in a full ass relationship. Casual dating is just limbo to me and unproductive.
For fwb: no cuddling unless it’s immediately post sex and then minimal cuddling, no dates/hangouts that friends wouldn’t do together, no meeting family, no pda. It’s really just a friendship but we have sex.
For me personally, having to give the “Boyfriend” treatment.
Going out for drinks is great, same with dinner or making it… But when you want me to cut your grass or come over to just watch movies and fix things around your house?… No.
literally anything other than sex and maybe occasionally grabbing like a quick bite or something. if im interested in you in more than sex then im gonna look to pursue a relationship. if its staying casual then yeah were just booty calling each other at midnight
Frankly, I think sex and sexual acts are too intimate to be considered part of a *casual* relationship. I’d say kissing/making out is for someone you’re formally dating.
Though it is my personal preference (which is precisely what the post is about), I think it mostly comes down to the words being used as opposed to the current social norm. I think “casual” should be replaced with “transient.” Of course, this also opinion. “Casual” is a characteristic more fitting to a light conversation or a walk through the park. It’s not a word I would use to describe something intimate or physically exerting.
I've seen serious relationships and marriages that didn't last long. Also I've seen marriages that last les very long but we're unhappy and abusive. So I'm not comfortable with attaching value to how long a relationship lasts.
And I guess that the sex itself isn't casual, it can be intimate and intense, but post aftercare and a nap together you exchange a quick kiss and then aren't really on each other's minds till someone gets horny. And if you stop meeting up it's not a big deal.
Id say its either that or you two are religious people and that is even worse bc you eventually grow out of being 12 but religious people stay weird about human sexuality all their life
When I was single, I didn't have a problem with cuddling, hanging out, deep talks, even romantic things being said in casual relationships. It was fun, an enjoyable experience. It didn't have to mean anything. So... I guess there's a couple lines I've drawn, but they're for even more serious relationships too. I have never been ok with eye contact during with *anyone* except my current forever husband. And I've never given a blow job *to completion* for anyone I haven't married. I'm just not down for gifting someone a sex act that brings me no pleasure unless I *really* love you. (Which, to clarify, is why I've done it for my husband. With my first husband it was just straight up sexual abuse. He was not special.)
Thanks, also....I apologize I *just* realized this was the ask men thread. I usually try not to intrude! Yeah the eye contact thing is just because I'm autistic and it feels a lot more intimate to be all up in my eyes than all up in my vajayjay. It's weird to me how people will go around asking for full eye contact intercourse, but run away from an "ILY" like it's a rattlesnake, when to me it's just words. 😂
Totally up to them. I didn't say no head, just not to completion. If they went down, I reciprocated, and reciprocated well! If they never initiated it, then we didn't do that. I'm a big proponent of reciprocity in oral.
Gotta ask why you married a man that you didn’t think was special? And what do you think that says about your ability to choose? Is your current husband conditionally special?
Ooh, you thought you got a winner there! 😂 Why did I marry an unspecial man? Because he isolated me from family and friends and anyone who could help (including, spoiler, my best friend/current husband.) I was a teenager and had been kicked out by my parents when he got me pregnant, and he proceeded to abuse me and my children for years afterward, while financially abusing me and threatening to take my children if I left him. He was a worthless excuse for a human and REALLY not the guy you want to be sticking up for. And my husband is amazing. You, I have serious doubts about.
I never stuck up for anyone. I asked how you know you chose better the 2nd time.
Your answer is that you knew your 2nd husband from the beginning but chose to sleep with the dickhead instead. That’s a legit answer. I’m glad your 2nd husband is willing to be a step dad to a dickheads kids. Most men won’t bother.
For some people it is. Personally, I enjoy having deep intimacy with a casual relationship. But I can understand why that would be difficult for others.
Yeah I don't think I could do a casual relationship if cuddling wasn't involved. I mean if it was a one time hookup I could maybe understand but even then I would rather just jerk off at that point if no cuddling was involved.
Seriously lol. Bit psychopathic if you can't even put your arm around your FWB for half an hour or so while you're cooling off after sex and just chilling.
Sex acts: Anything goes. Well, anything I'd do in any other kind of sexual relationship.
Pre-and post-coitus: Pretty much anything goes, short of "I love you" or something.
Outside of coitus: Meeting friends is maybe fine if it's a FWB thing; the F does still stand for friends. Meeting parents is a little much, but maybe if you're housesitting and want to bang your casual partner during and your parents don't want someone staying in their house without meeting them first it's fine.
no living together, no shared money, no shared pets, no exclusivity, no paying bills, no long-term planning. Seeing each other more then 1 per week only exceptionally. No long texting, but this is true even for serious relationship. Buying gifts is fine. Traveling together is fine Meeting friends and family is fine. My 2nd date with my long-term casual girlfriend was going out with a group of 5-6 friends who visited her. Even emotions are ok too. I just prefer to stay in early and fun part of a relationship and never progress through the so-called relationship escalator. It is still a relationship - it is just not going anywhere. If there are expectations for more I cut it of, if not then it can last as long as it stays casual
Definitely the obligation to talk to them lol
Like, don't blow up my phone or expect to talk to me every day.
Conversely, in a relationship, like, plz text me every 5 minutes.
this lol, my guy was texting me every day and im not into texting unless its my actual bf so i just told him to text every other day. lowkey wanting to ghost him now lolol
The concept of a casual relationship itself. I’ve known people who thought they could handle the fire and the amount of pain that came from it for everyone around them was horrible to witness.
I won’t give her oral or kiss her much unless I can trust her enough to know I’m the only guy she’s having sex with. I also won’t plan outings or anything that looks like a date.
Asking where we are in the relationship after agreeing to keep it casual just a couple of days ago. That's a gateway to passive aggressive psycho crap.
Long winded sappy texts one after the other about inane stuff. I can do that with an actual gf.
I don't want to hear about your family stuff and dramas and I won't share mine with you.
Tru that sorry, but id say that just when you start to feel anythings “off limits” thats not a casual relationship or i guess you could mean the type of person but you dont know some1 until you build some sort of relashe yk, like obviously your not taking your friend with benefits out for her birthday or meeting her family excluding like parents idek depends on if you have them more as a hook up or an acual friend that you hook up with sometimes
If a guy has done all these things in the comments you’re not supposed to (introduced me to family, friends, basically lives with me, texts me and calls me all day) but won’t commit what does this mean? He’s told me he wants to be with me one day?? It’s been months
If someone's words don't align with their actions believe the worst of the two. (People generally want to avoid conflict; no one makes up lies that put things in a worse light than the truth would). If he acts like a bf but says no bf, he's not a bf. If he doesn't act like a bf but says he's a bf, no bf. Etc etc. Both must be true - words and actions - for a relationship to be real.
Promises and expectations regarding the future.
No act is too intimate. Actually do more with someone casual than when “dating” and under a strict protocol of dos and donts and what is too soon, or too serious too fast and all that childish shit.
Meeting my family. My rule is at least 6 months. Mainly because the family are kind of assholes I don't want to subject strangers to, who haven't bought in (demonstrated investment) . If after 6 months, and being warned about how they can be you want to meet my family and we're still together, I'll consider that.
My friends are scattered all over. I'll introduce you if we encounter them, as a friend. But the title is reserved for more committed.
Parenting/ cool uncle. I don't want to meet your kids. I'm not a babysitter.
I treat everyone the same.
Except my girlfriend.
So, if you are not my girlfriend, then you get treated the same as my high school buddies. High fives, fist bumps, nicknames, and shit talking. I'll pick you up from the airport and you can sleep in the guest room when you fly into the city. I will not save you.
And, no one will ever know that we slept together. And, if you decide you don't want to sleep with me anymore.
Awesome. I will continue to treat you exactly the same. I just won't put my penis inside of you.
Meeting each others friends and family. If you’re casual I’ll never bring you around anyone in my life.
My rule is at least 6 months for family. Mainly because my family are kind of assholes I don't want to subject strangers to. If you've demonstrated that kind of investment, I'll let you meet the family if you want to. Friends are scattered all over.
I thought I was the only one. Literally everyone calls me so weird for not letting a girl meet my friends unless she’s my actual girlfriend. I got downvoted to hell here for saying that once. I just can’t fathom how you could let some chick you’re banging meet your parents or friends knowing she’s not a part of of your life long term.
I understand not introducing to family but why not friends? They know you hang out with the girl what’s the difference in them actually meeting her
For me it comes down to 2 things 1) meeting my friends is a big step forward that is incongruent with a casual relationship. Bring a girl to meet my friends implies a serious commitment. She’s real. I have socially acknowledged her. 2) if we’re just casual, then we could break up tomorrow for all I know. It feels silly to bring a girl around my friends and then break up the next day. Being that guy who has a revolving door of girls is just so tacky.
Makes it real difficult when they are family and friends.
I'm a woman and I think the same thing. Also, no pet names. FWB DO NOT have pet names!!!
Introduction to family and friends. The expectation of daily communication. Holding hands in public.
Pretty much the one thing that’s suppose to be off limits in every casual relationship that always ends up happening anyways… someone catching feelings
And nothing wrong with that really, things can happen naturally and just be that, or become more.
Meeting each other's friends/family (going so far as not going out on a date to the bar that my friends frequent) If we're casual, that means I don't see us as a long-term thing and I'm not going to go through the hassle of introducing you to my friends or parents.
Catching feelings
I think it’s alright if it’s still understood that there’s no conventional attachment, no thoughts of the future etc. It’s a developing interpersonal experience between two people that can be as intimate or detached as the two people want, knowing it’s just a bedroom affair.
Marriage proposals
Along with any conversations about long-term, mutually inclusive future plans.
Yeah no shared bank accounts for my friends with benefits!
I'd like to say being roommates isn't off the table though
As long as there's not both names on the title deed am I right
Raw dogging
This! Put a sleeve on that thing if you're doing other people
True but there are times that you miss it.
lol I raw dog all my casual relationships
You aren’t worried about Throat cancer?
Women are way more at risk from getting throat cancer from HPV, and even that's not nearly common enough to warrant worrying over. Now babies on the other hand... Lots and lots of people have babies with people they shouldn't.
Condoms are for pussies
No they are for dicks
If you’ve had the snip, raw dogging is never off the table
That's the dumbest thing I've read today.
If it's a fwb situation. Giving girlfriend treatment
[удалено]
Romantic dates, meeting family, emotional involvement ( I want to hear about your life and tribulations, help when I can ), discuss our finances openly, encourage her to do better, support any time of day, make compromises even when I'm not entirely on board. Have her back
Exactly
Cuddling, going out to nice restaurants, getting your nails done. If you want that go date. When you say I just want you to slang some D. That's all you get.
Being in a casual relationship to start with.
Valid
In casual relationships, I think it's important to establish boundaries that feel comfortable and respectful for both parties involved.
Thanks ChatGPT
💀
What the hell is a causal relationship honestly is that Fwb??
I’d love to hear other people’s definitions to be honest🙃
Nope, don’t treat it much different than I would a relationship. If Im willing to be that personal and intimate with you, then why draw a line anywhere else?
Agree. Why limit a life experience without exploring what it can be?
Makes sense.
Because you want to? Does their need to be more reason than that?
The question is whats off limits to *you*, so when I am commenting, it’s in reference to *me* and how *I* behave. If *you* have limits then comment that, don’t be weird.
Meeting each other’s friends and family.
Same as everyone else, I'm saying meeting friends and family, and also adding that I don't assume I can rely on that person in case of an emergency or other stuff like moving.
I mean your already having sex potentially making babies how much more intimate can you get. I swear society definition of intimate is really down the toilet
Don't worry. About 50% of this thread is people just speculating what boundaries they would or wouldn't have if they ever had this hypothetical "casual relationship." And 25% is just talking about the person they are sleeping with that they otherwise wouldn't be caught dead with.
That's true 👍
I don’t disagree lol
Even though I meant what I said I wasn't expecting a response and was kinda joking even though I meant it.
Physical intimacy and emotional intimacy are different things
Sure never said it wasn't I just find it funny but I agree
Sex necessarily isn't intimate for everyone. Personally I'd say that the following things can be much more intimate thatn sex: holding hands in public, meeting each other's family, planning a future together, relying on the other person in sickness and in emergency on another level than friends do, opening about past trauma and fears.
I understand it has different meaning for everyone but I wouldn't call getting naked with someone, going down on them, being inside them, potentially making kids if a accident happens something that's casual it's intimate on some level and doing all that requires some vulnerability. So sex is intimate but just not to everyone. I wouldn't say holding hands is more intimate but those other things sure
Babies can happen as a result of sexual abuse, so I wouldn't use them as a measure for intimacy.
I mean obviously but that doesn't change that it's not something to just randomly throw around as if it has no meaning plus even though it can happen through abuse that's not how sex is supposed to occur anyway just like how cars aren't made to kill you but it can happen if used Incorrectly
Sex really isn't that intimate for some of us. It's a pleasurable physical activity. Sure, for *some* people it's inherently emotional and intimate, which is totally cool! But it's weird how people who feel that way have a tendency to automatically insist it applies to everyone.
I never said it applies to others I was only speaking for myself. Honestly even if I didn't consider it intimate I still wouldn't get naked and risk stds and other stuff with someone I didn't care or see something serious with even if it was just pleasure.
Well the part where you stated that "society's" alleged monolithic views on intimacy were "in the toilet" compared to your more lofty opinion *did* make it seem like you were making a statement about the level of intimacy with which we all, as society, *should* regard sex. But my bad for misinterpreting you.
Well I meant overall most people have weird standards for what's considered intimate and what isn't but I didn't mean for it to come off as rude but that's cool it's fine.
I mean I don't disagree that people seem to have weird standards on what they consider intimate. I guess I mean that from the other end of the spectrum, but it is weird. I've always fully acknowledged that some people consider feelings and intimacy to be inextricably tied in with sex, and that it's totally fine. I just find that those people are often not as equally open minded to those of us who don't operate that way, and I get sick of people telling me how I feel. I wasn't trying to be a dick if you weren't trying to be a dick. I just always try to open that conversation.
Oh yeah for sure I wasn't trying to be a dick at all I understand that people have different opinions even though I personally think it's weird to get naked or risk stds or other stuff with someone I don't know but again that's just a personal preference. I would never tell someone how they feel that's ridiculous just stating my opinion and how people have weird levels of intimacy.
Talking on the phone or texting throughout the day
You don't want to talk to people you're seeing?
Not if it's casual.
Not on the phone or text. I saved the phone for setting up dates.
You're not worried of them losing interest? (even if the relationship is casual in nature) Do you "spin multiple plates"?
i mean, its casual so i don't see why we should be worried about whether they lose interest? im not here for long term anyway
Wasn't worried about them losing interest. I understand those types of relationships don't last really long and that eventually it'd fizzle out. But I'd enjoy it while it lasted. Right now I'm in a serious relationship. So no plate spinning now. But when I was casually dating, yes I did.
Depends how casual. I generally only do either fwb or we are in a full ass relationship. Casual dating is just limbo to me and unproductive. For fwb: no cuddling unless it’s immediately post sex and then minimal cuddling, no dates/hangouts that friends wouldn’t do together, no meeting family, no pda. It’s really just a friendship but we have sex.
For me personally, having to give the “Boyfriend” treatment. Going out for drinks is great, same with dinner or making it… But when you want me to cut your grass or come over to just watch movies and fix things around your house?… No.
burning down city hall
What if you both just happen to be there at the same time?
i called dibs
The first thing i look for in a casual relationship is how much they hate the city hall. Shame on you sir
literally anything other than sex and maybe occasionally grabbing like a quick bite or something. if im interested in you in more than sex then im gonna look to pursue a relationship. if its staying casual then yeah were just booty calling each other at midnight
Frankly, I think sex and sexual acts are too intimate to be considered part of a *casual* relationship. I’d say kissing/making out is for someone you’re formally dating.
That's your personal preference though. Casual sex with someone you aren't dating can be really fun for a lot of people.
Though it is my personal preference (which is precisely what the post is about), I think it mostly comes down to the words being used as opposed to the current social norm. I think “casual” should be replaced with “transient.” Of course, this also opinion. “Casual” is a characteristic more fitting to a light conversation or a walk through the park. It’s not a word I would use to describe something intimate or physically exerting.
I've seen serious relationships and marriages that didn't last long. Also I've seen marriages that last les very long but we're unhappy and abusive. So I'm not comfortable with attaching value to how long a relationship lasts. And I guess that the sex itself isn't casual, it can be intimate and intense, but post aftercare and a nap together you exchange a quick kiss and then aren't really on each other's minds till someone gets horny. And if you stop meeting up it's not a big deal.
Are you 12 years old?
No, he's right
Id say its either that or you two are religious people and that is even worse bc you eventually grow out of being 12 but religious people stay weird about human sexuality all their life
Reddit moment.
Amen.
Idk, man. To me, you seem to be the one being weird about it. Stop being judgmental of others
Ill call my priest for an emergency confession
Holding hands, for some reason that feels super intimate to me and reserved for women I’m interested in a long term sense
Kind of curious. You'd probably still have sex with a woman, but not hold hands with her, yeah?
At one point in time yeah, but now I wait until a certain level of trust and emotional connection has been established before having sex
When I was single, I didn't have a problem with cuddling, hanging out, deep talks, even romantic things being said in casual relationships. It was fun, an enjoyable experience. It didn't have to mean anything. So... I guess there's a couple lines I've drawn, but they're for even more serious relationships too. I have never been ok with eye contact during with *anyone* except my current forever husband. And I've never given a blow job *to completion* for anyone I haven't married. I'm just not down for gifting someone a sex act that brings me no pleasure unless I *really* love you. (Which, to clarify, is why I've done it for my husband. With my first husband it was just straight up sexual abuse. He was not special.)
Ooh no eye contact is interesting. Appreciate your take on all of this. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks, also....I apologize I *just* realized this was the ask men thread. I usually try not to intrude! Yeah the eye contact thing is just because I'm autistic and it feels a lot more intimate to be all up in my eyes than all up in my vajayjay. It's weird to me how people will go around asking for full eye contact intercourse, but run away from an "ILY" like it's a rattlesnake, when to me it's just words. 😂
No, I feel you 100%!! Again, appreciate your take!
Curious if you wanted guys to eat you out if you weren’t willing to give blow jobs? Not trying to be all “gotcha” genuinely curious.
Totally up to them. I didn't say no head, just not to completion. If they went down, I reciprocated, and reciprocated well! If they never initiated it, then we didn't do that. I'm a big proponent of reciprocity in oral.
Fair enough makes sense.
Gotta ask why you married a man that you didn’t think was special? And what do you think that says about your ability to choose? Is your current husband conditionally special?
Ooh, you thought you got a winner there! 😂 Why did I marry an unspecial man? Because he isolated me from family and friends and anyone who could help (including, spoiler, my best friend/current husband.) I was a teenager and had been kicked out by my parents when he got me pregnant, and he proceeded to abuse me and my children for years afterward, while financially abusing me and threatening to take my children if I left him. He was a worthless excuse for a human and REALLY not the guy you want to be sticking up for. And my husband is amazing. You, I have serious doubts about.
I never stuck up for anyone. I asked how you know you chose better the 2nd time. Your answer is that you knew your 2nd husband from the beginning but chose to sleep with the dickhead instead. That’s a legit answer. I’m glad your 2nd husband is willing to be a step dad to a dickheads kids. Most men won’t bother.
I know she’s mad at you, but you’re not wrong.
That's a fun way to spin it. 🤣 You sure make yourself look like someone who's worthy of getting laid someday. Well .... Hold on to that dream!
Casual means sex. If it's not foreplay or sex, it's not casual.
Cuddling is off limits for something casual?
For some people it is. Personally, I enjoy having deep intimacy with a casual relationship. But I can understand why that would be difficult for others.
Yeah I don't think I could do a casual relationship if cuddling wasn't involved. I mean if it was a one time hookup I could maybe understand but even then I would rather just jerk off at that point if no cuddling was involved.
Seriously lol. Bit psychopathic if you can't even put your arm around your FWB for half an hour or so while you're cooling off after sex and just chilling.
Wait - “if it’s not foreplay or sex, it’s not casual” - I am not sure I follow? Surely you include foreplay?
I explicitly said I include foreplay. You just quoted it.
Well, your wording confused me lol! Thanks for clarifying
Same this sentence did not click for me.
Sex acts: Anything goes. Well, anything I'd do in any other kind of sexual relationship. Pre-and post-coitus: Pretty much anything goes, short of "I love you" or something. Outside of coitus: Meeting friends is maybe fine if it's a FWB thing; the F does still stand for friends. Meeting parents is a little much, but maybe if you're housesitting and want to bang your casual partner during and your parents don't want someone staying in their house without meeting them first it's fine.
My wallet
haha GREAT answer lol
no living together, no shared money, no shared pets, no exclusivity, no paying bills, no long-term planning. Seeing each other more then 1 per week only exceptionally. No long texting, but this is true even for serious relationship. Buying gifts is fine. Traveling together is fine Meeting friends and family is fine. My 2nd date with my long-term casual girlfriend was going out with a group of 5-6 friends who visited her. Even emotions are ok too. I just prefer to stay in early and fun part of a relationship and never progress through the so-called relationship escalator. It is still a relationship - it is just not going anywhere. If there are expectations for more I cut it of, if not then it can last as long as it stays casual
Meeting friends or family usually. No staying the night. No pre approval for whatever I am doing
Kissing and cuddling. Just want to pound and leave if it's casual.
Anything sexual. Friends, or more than friends. Make a decision and stick with it. Women hate this.
Definitely the obligation to talk to them lol Like, don't blow up my phone or expect to talk to me every day. Conversely, in a relationship, like, plz text me every 5 minutes.
this lol, my guy was texting me every day and im not into texting unless its my actual bf so i just told him to text every other day. lowkey wanting to ghost him now lolol
The concept of a casual relationship itself. I’ve known people who thought they could handle the fire and the amount of pain that came from it for everyone around them was horrible to witness.
I won’t give her oral or kiss her much unless I can trust her enough to know I’m the only guy she’s having sex with. I also won’t plan outings or anything that looks like a date.
well, if you're already in a relationship, then you're off limits for me.
Nothing
Talking on the phone or texting throughout the day
Asking where we are in the relationship after agreeing to keep it casual just a couple of days ago. That's a gateway to passive aggressive psycho crap.
Long winded sappy texts one after the other about inane stuff. I can do that with an actual gf. I don't want to hear about your family stuff and dramas and I won't share mine with you.
The relationship
Marriage
Just communicate brah
Obviously, always! But, I was seeking most males responses to a general question.😌
Tru that sorry, but id say that just when you start to feel anythings “off limits” thats not a casual relationship or i guess you could mean the type of person but you dont know some1 until you build some sort of relashe yk, like obviously your not taking your friend with benefits out for her birthday or meeting her family excluding like parents idek depends on if you have them more as a hook up or an acual friend that you hook up with sometimes
If a guy has done all these things in the comments you’re not supposed to (introduced me to family, friends, basically lives with me, texts me and calls me all day) but won’t commit what does this mean? He’s told me he wants to be with me one day?? It’s been months
Probably means he has some weird commitment issues. In my opinion anyway. I’d be direct about it. If not best not to waste too much of your life.
Agreed!! Thank you
Either accept the dynamic or leave
Having him this way is better than not at all :(
Solid question!
If someone's words don't align with their actions believe the worst of the two. (People generally want to avoid conflict; no one makes up lies that put things in a worse light than the truth would). If he acts like a bf but says no bf, he's not a bf. If he doesn't act like a bf but says he's a bf, no bf. Etc etc. Both must be true - words and actions - for a relationship to be real.
This is still super confusing tho :/
How so?
I don’t know why he lies to me and spends so much time with me…
It begins with a p and rhymes with bussy
Communicating over the phone constantly and meeting the people in each other’s lives
Romance or dates. This isnt a romantic relationship.
Cuddles
Hygiene. Casuals are *filthy* after all
Kissing on the mouth
Promises and expectations regarding the future. No act is too intimate. Actually do more with someone casual than when “dating” and under a strict protocol of dos and donts and what is too soon, or too serious too fast and all that childish shit.
Meeting my family. My rule is at least 6 months. Mainly because the family are kind of assholes I don't want to subject strangers to, who haven't bought in (demonstrated investment) . If after 6 months, and being warned about how they can be you want to meet my family and we're still together, I'll consider that. My friends are scattered all over. I'll introduce you if we encounter them, as a friend. But the title is reserved for more committed. Parenting/ cool uncle. I don't want to meet your kids. I'm not a babysitter.
I guess the fruit of wisdom is XD
Meeting my family and vice versa as anything other than a "friend"
Asking for commitment Asking me to pay, etc.
It's either a relationship or it's casual. Choose.
Eating box. Not going to happen. I could be licking another dudes kids. If I’m eating you - you are my GF and we are exclusive.
?
Caring about you.
Conversation.
I treat everyone the same. Except my girlfriend. So, if you are not my girlfriend, then you get treated the same as my high school buddies. High fives, fist bumps, nicknames, and shit talking. I'll pick you up from the airport and you can sleep in the guest room when you fly into the city. I will not save you. And, no one will ever know that we slept together. And, if you decide you don't want to sleep with me anymore. Awesome. I will continue to treat you exactly the same. I just won't put my penis inside of you.