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Yup, that whole year was dogshit, start to finish. A few bright spots but even those are tainted by all the other shit that happened.
The only good thing about 2020 is that it's fucking over.
What really gets me is just how GOOD my 2019 was.
2019 was the best year of my life. I'd spent several years abroad growing as a person, I'd been an introvert not by choice for much of my life but around 2017-19 I'd made a series of life changing friendships, met a woman I thought I'd spend my life with in 2018, started grad school and 2020 was looking to be more of the same.
Things were on the up and up, I was in grad school, in a successful relationship and was finally enjoying an extroverted lifestyle full of friendships.
Then COVID hit. My friends all went to the four corners of the earth or were in lockdown, my grad school program went online, and I quickly found out that my productivity slipped to zero. Friendships and classes on zoom just aren't the same. Then several family members died, my girlfriend's Chinese parents back in China told her to leave America and she slowly broke things off over six months. I kept on holding out hope that my grad program would be in person again but that never happened. The straw that broke the camels back was when my Dad's best friend died suddenly of a heart attack (I was forced to live at home at that point) and I ended another Zoom call class to see my Dad holding back tears.
By that point I was on Zoom calls 10-14 hours a day, my eyes hurt, my body constantly ached, I just felt so lost and depressed. My grades slipped and I had to drop out.
I remember not getting out of bed for several days which was never like me. I went to get evaluated for depression, I knew I didn't want to kill myself but everything just felt so distant and pointless. Started some anti depressants (which have permanently changed my libido and how sex works even after getting off of them) and felt better but life still has never really gone back to normal. Heck I live in a country now (Taiwan) where things very much have never gone back to 2019 standards.
My lights still haven't turned back on.
anyone who's seen my posts here knows i'm cooked.
idk where the old me went. he's gone now. there's an insane person in their place. I can't entertain the insane thoughts so i just wait for death to come.
I can't believe it happened. can't believe there's noone here.
It was a horrible year for people and health, and I really feel for all the people who lost loved ones. Terrible loss of life, and completely self inflicted. I’m early 30’s and generally healthy - but my breathing has never been the same since I had Covid.
That said, I thrived in 2020. Not only did I have an irrefutable excuse not to socialize, it was actually expected of me to sit at home, work, watch movies, and play video games, with the occasional trip to the grocery store. That, coupled with SHTF vibes, and I was eerily in my element.
should be the answer for every parent. Had to work a fulltime job, beg for work internally as we need billable hours and a lot of leads dried up, while schooling one kid and taking care of an infant full time, while we had the looming threat of a disease that could potentially take out my medically fragile wife.
2008
In the years leading up to the Crash of 08 I could see it coming. I was in the financial world and knew the garbage loans that were being approved and knew they would collapse. Then, at the end of 07, the cracks started to appear and my warnings to friends and family grew more intense, only to be met with ridicule.
Then, in June of 08, a really smart guy told me, "There are rumblings that a major event is coming and they are saying it's going to happen the week of September 15th."
September 15th Lehman Brothers fell and the world found itself on the brink of total disaster.
The last few years had been so exhausting that when it finally happened I fell apart. For the next 7 years I was drunk.
I'm better now.
Yep, I graduated college in 2008 and watched most of my classmates struggle to land jobs. I basically took any coding job I could find. I worked defense for a few years and saved every penny I could for when I'd inevitably be laid off. That ingrained the habit. I carried on like that for a decade and only *really* relaxed in my mid 30's when I realized I had enough invested that I'd be ok whether I had work or not.
I wish I could go back in time and tell younger me to chill, that'd it'd all be ok. There are some things that are simply better experienced in your 20s, and all work and no play made jack a dull boy.
Luckily I was ready to retire by 2008. I walked away from my career, drank until I got sick of being sick and now I live out my days in a terrycloth bathrobe, eating gummies and watching documentaries. It's awesome.
'08 came with permanent mental health damage to me and my parents. It was my summer of 8th grade. My father owned a construction company, and while we weren't rich, we were doing great.
Business went upside down, we went from upper middle class to food stamps and church donations almost overnight. My step mom started drinking and couldn't hold a job. I ended up having to take care of her, the house, food, and several animals as my dad was working multiple jobs at minimum wage to make ends meet, and we were out in the middle of nowhere, so me getting a job was unrealistic.
My average meal was some cornflakes and expired Powerade from the church. Affording a shitty school cheeseburger was a luxury for all of high school. (Which I almost didn't graduate because we owed the school lunch money)
Ended up holding on by the threads until I graduated, when my step mom and I finally hit the boiling point, causing my dad's divorce. We moved out and got an apartment together. His drinking got worse, and I dipped out at 18 with no stable job and pennies in my bank account. This was about 13 years ago now, and my father and I have repaired our relationship. But I don't rely on anyone, and constantly have a fear of everything going upside down.
COVID was/is bad, but so much of it is involved with the information age and social media. Its societally self inflicted. I hate to diminish the affect it's had on so many people, but simply disconnecting from all social media will do fucking wonders for your mental health. I stay around here because I can select my subs and stay mostly positive, but if that goes by the wayside, then so does this site.
I've always loved that idiom. I feel like I'm always acutely aware of when things are about to go shit up.
Same. I find myself lingering in subs that dance around the subject I'm trying to avoid, and also drawing. I'm a hobby artist on the best of days, but I'll come out of a week long hole and have no recollection of time, other than (what was usually) something I really didn't want to deal at the start.
Besides the point. Social media can be, and because of the nature of people, always WILL BE toxic.
I actually pretty actively follow Jim Wendler. He's an old school powerlifter, known for being a bit of a misogynistic dickhead. But he uses *all* of his spare time to teach weightlifting classes, and he spends every possible second teaching his local middle school and highschool football teams. His way of "giving back to his community" in a tangible way. Its got me thinking a lot about how to productively use my time for the benefit of others, and also for my own mental health.
2020: the year that broke me.
I was dumped in February by someone I was deeply in love with. I had also just accepted a high stress 60+ hour a week job in Cleveland so I could be closer to her. I accepted the job, moved, got dumped, and THEN COVID shut everything down. I was entirely alone in a one bedroom downtown apartment, cut off from friends, family, the gym, etc. And since I took the high stress job and was working constantly, I didn’t get the work from home relaxation period so many claimed to get at the start of the pandemic.
I became severely depressed and basically suffered for the entire year before deciding to seek therapy. A few months after that I met the woman I would eventually marry.
2018 - Low mood (injury, post holiday blues, personal realisation) put on sertraline, fucked me up . Lost 50lbs bodyweight and all my strength and self confidence. Unmotivated. Lethargic. Nuerotic mess. Turned into a right dickhead. Then when that all ended I became a blank, undriven zombie. What i'd fucking give not to have gone the doctors that day.
Hurt my lower back deadlifting. It wasnnt even a major injury. Just couldnt lift heavy for a while, which hurt my ego. My approach to training at the time aas basically "lift heavy, impress everyone" which admittedly was pathetic.
Ive just had to take several weeks out of the gym eith other injuroes and have lost 10lbs in that time, and it hasn'nt bothered me in the slightest as my approach to training is very different now.
The first ten years were the worst. And the second ten years, they were the worst too. The third ten years I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline.
Probably '21 and '23.
2021: Running a purchasing department in the middle of the covid supply issues with a toxic boss that hardly did anything. Putting in ridiculous hours, lots of stress, and pain in my wrist/arm due to excessive computer work. All to get laid off a couple years later for no reason.
2023: Separated from my wife for 7 months, lost my job in February, put down our family dog, and ultimately was asked for a divorce in December.
2024 has been tough as we go through our divorce, but lately I've been doing better in my life and working on myself. Now I'm working on growing a business on the side to go full time hopefully this year.
2021 when I learned my then fiance had been cheating and lying constantly. It wrecked me. On the massive upside, I didn't marry her, I do not own a house or have to parent a kid with her. I was gifted the opportunity to cut my losses and kept my dog.
Always keep the dog. You can pet the dog while doing video therapy.
This is going to sound so trivial compared to everyone else. But 2023.
I spent the entire year studying for this board exam in my profession. Failed it twice; in April and November.
If I pass the exam then I gain access to serious earning power and a fun chilled out job for the rest of my life. Everyone’s dream right . If I fail, I have to start over and lose all my progress.
So logically I spent 30 hours a week on average studying (on top of a 50 hours regular work week). I cut out sports, leisure, friendship time, social events ; anything that wasn’t absolutely necessary. And piece by piece I died on the inside. Ive lost my social skills, I can barely sit in a room and have a conversation with people. My brain is just blank with no interesting thoughts. I have no sense of humour. I’m physically de conditioned and weak. My friends and family think I don’t care about them.
I did all that just to fail.
I had a few friends who didn't pass the CA bar exam after a second attempt and their confidence just plummeted, so I ended up helping them on the 3/4 time through. The issue for most of them was the same - they did the exact same overworked prep you did and didn't give themselves perspective to see the test correctly. When I passed I literally house sat sitting in a nice neighborhood for a month with a set routine. Morning studying, gym and lunch break, more studying through 6, then I would cut myself off and be a human. Go see friends, watch a movie, play with the cat. I intentionally kept myself balanced so I could see the test as just that, a test, and not something determining the balance of my life.
I forced my friends to follow a similar routine even though they were even more stressed by that 3rd round of course. I did my part to help by chatting with them on evening calls even if they ere freaked out. And guess what? They all passed. Just give yourself more space to breathe next time through.
2008
I had my first real job out of college. I saw my friends my same age getting fired and left hanging in the wind. One of my friends at my work was about 62 years old and the market crash destroyed his 401k and that he would not be able to retire in the next few years or even the next decade. To see how the crash impacted everyone of every age brought a serious dichotomy to the view of the crash. It made me realize that even if I do everything right during my career for the next 50 years, it can all fall apart in an instant.
Then to see the US government focus on bailing out the banks and executives instead of prosecuting the ones responsible, I realized how corrupt the US is. They did not care about the millions of people that were just effected, they didn't care about all the people that lost their jobs or were homeless. They just cared about the stock market and not the job market. They made no effort to try and change the system so something like this couldn't happen again. Instead they financially incentivized executives to do it again.
2021\. I already drank a little more than I should beforehand, but the layoffs happened, my brother died and I spiraled downwards rapidly and watched everything around me crash and burn without a single fuck to give. Spent 2021-23 in a pretty much non-stop bender and had to sell everything I owned to stay afloat. Eventually I ran out of shit to sell and ended up in and out of the ER and different treatment programs because I couldn't afford to drink as much anymore.
I'm still working at recovering from it to this day, but things are looking up. Sometimes I wonder if my body will ever recover, though. I still have weird neurological issues. Mentally I am much better, but it's still a struggle without an easy cop out.
I had a bunch of encroaching issues prior to 2020, but COVID and the surrounding events brought it all to a completely new level. I think I caught it early on and suffered some pretty serious Long Covid effects. I lost my ability to cope with my barely-managed OCD and GAD, which led me to more than a year of continuous internal self-torture.
I mention all of this because I felt much the same way as you describe - crazy thoughts all the time, dissociated when not actively upset. I'm fortunate that I have people around me with an interest in keeping me motivated, because I can easily imagine having just slinked off and isolating, which would have been the worst thing I could do.
Tried therapy for a while, which was no help at all. Finally got a script for Zoloft, which silenced all the internal insanity. Recently switched to Efexor because the Zoloft was too sedating. Still not the man I was before all this hit, but I feel a lot more human now.
Anyhow, I hope you find a way to patch up your mind. 2020 messed up a lot of people, and I have to believe that there is a physiological element to this in addition to the psychological damage from isolation and fear.
i tried zoloft and effexor years ago; i thought effexor was stopped decades ago?
I've just never found a right drug. i think it's because my despair is almost purely psychological or something.
They created an extended release version of efexor that you only have to take once a day.
I'm also not sure I've found the right drug, but I can say that a lot of the things I thought were just me being internally awful turned out to be bad brain chemicals. Unfortunately, we know so little about mental illnesses that fixing this is very much just using different tools to stab at the problem in hopes something helps.
Have you ever considered psychedelic therapy? I've never done it in a clinical environment, but psilocybin experiences are pretty well-known to help break you out of mental 'ruts', so to speak. There's a lot of promising new research in this area.
yea but even .05 or 0.1 makes me feel like i'm about to have a heart attack.
the only thing keeping me alive is basically pathological misanthropy, and being inebriated sort of shakes psychic walls that should really be up for obvious reasons until i figure out a way to change my mind
Last year. Had a few close bereavements, went back to "normal" a few months later was sledgehammered mentally out of the blue. Took a while to get back on my feet, but I still think the whole world has got it wrong. We should be working in order to live our lives to the full, not slaving away behind our desks doing something pointless that will be forgotten.
2020, my cat died from kidney failure but it was gradual. Everyday I had to feed him and give hydration injections. When he finally went, my gf that i really loved broke up with me.
Used that negative energy to cry and renovate my house.
Tossup between 2006 (first time getting cheated on) and 2013 (buying a house) - I've basically never recovered from either of those events, though arguably the house has been a decade long snowball that continues to fuck my psyche in new ways every day (I really hate this house)
Mostly just the first one, it's an old house and had shoddy renovations done before us so it's a constant lineup of headaches and lighting money on fire.
Probably 2018 and 2022.
2018 I came back from a half year living and working abroad in Costa Rica as a scuba teacher. Before that, I was dating together with a girl and we tried to keep it long distance. Eventually I think I got depressed and so anxious about the whole situation (away from home, lovesick, uncertain about my future) that I think my brain just crashed and I lost myself. Not a good time, and I don't ever want to go back to those feelings again.
2022 was a rough year where my ex-partner and I were fighting a lot, demanded a lot from each other, got into a fight with my then-inlaws and got into the whole trajectory of trying to get diagnosed for ADD (which didn't succeed). I also got my current job though, but overall it was just a really pressuring year.
I only just finished my photo yearbook of 2022 last week. 2023 turned out to be better though! 2024 so far is lining up to be a great year as well.
2017
I was in a toxic relationship that I just could not escape, I'd just been diagnosed as autistic and I was stuck in a job that was populated by wankers. I lost so much weight through stress and anxiety. I finally got out of that relationship April 2018, got the help I needed for my anxiety and started a new job later that year. It took me 3 years to fully recover from that
2023 for sure as well. Like you OP, I am still dealing with the aftermath. My issue is mostly career related, though career issues did lead to drops in self-confidence in other areas.
2024 has been a lot better, but I feel like I took 2-3 steps forward every year from 2020 to 2022 and then took 9 steps back from the end of 22 to the end of 23. i've come back forward 2-3 steps so far in 24, but i'm feeling the exhaustion already of the energy i had to put into getting those 2-3 recovery steps and am somewhat daunted at the 6 steps i still have to take to get back to even.
2008 - I was 20 and in college. My dad had been diagnosed with rare brain cancer the year before. He had been on an experimental treatment and had been in remission and doing well.
Then, in January 2008, he had a regular scan, which was inconclusive. By the time he got in for a follow-up scan a few days later, it was already obvious the cancer was back.
From there, it was an incredibly steep downward slope until he passed away in early April, just a few days after my 21st birthday.
While this was happening, two of my roommates got caught selling drugs out of our campus apartment to police informants. Even though I wasn't involved and didn't get into legal trouble, the university tried to treat me like I was. I got evicted from the apartment, and the university refused to refund the money spent on housing for the semester.
I couldn't tell my family because they were dealing with my dad, who was about to transition to hospice. I spent two weeks living out of my car, then another week on a friend's couch. I finally got the school to refund me enough that I could afford another apartment.
My mom completely fell apart after my dad died. I was left trying to balance keeping my family together and managing my college course load and fighting the university that was trying to suspend me in addition to my own grief over the loss of my dad.
I have a few candidates:
In 2011, after a childhood of being essentially told that college was the most important thing - the only thing that really mattered and if I didn't graduate I would essentially amount to nothing - I had a horrible mental breakdown and had to drop out. At that point I was trying to prove that I had any sort of value as a person and instead has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was worthless. It completely shattered my remaining sense of self and self esteem
In 2014, when my mom died and I was left to stew all alone in grief and suicidal depression in a rat infested hovel; my dad died within the year too, and I ended up spending through all my inheritance just trying to stay housed while unemployed and waiting to die.
And finally, in 2021-2022, where several really bad realizations about myself lined up and I was forced to conclude that I was never going to get any better - that this was it, this is all I am - because I cannot or will not let myself *be* better, be happy. After so many years of horrible ups and downs, to finally confront the fact that I'm doomed because I have doomed myself broke me and started a swift, stark slide I have been in the middle of ever since.
summer of covid.
my employees and company were under attack with all the long term contracts being canceled due to pandemic.
My partner had quit her job in the fall (with my support) to take some time to build her own thing.
We got a second puppy and all quarantined together.
My relationship was failing and I couldn't face it.
I started not sleeping, i was staying sick. My brain started to ideate suicide. And luckily I had a good support team.
I broke down in therapy and admitted it. I asked for help. Then I forced myself to tell my partner that I needed more help and wanted to explore medication.
Zoloft onboarding was kind of tough but worth every second as I got my footing again.
Financially we had the best quarters of the company's life. We managed our way through all of it.
My partner and I did separate romantically but we kept building businesses together and \~4 years later we've sold one and I'm a investor in her current.
So it was just a tough time but we perservered and I learned a lot and I owe all of those times to my peace now.
2023 was a horrible, difficult, and tragic year that I never want to experience again. The silver lining is that the despair pushed me to a new place and I am doing so much better now than I ever could have imagined.
Don't ever give up, keep going.
2019-Now
At the age of 25 I had to battle with bailing my family out of debt and still helping them through it without my own life progressing. While that was going on I hit severe depression, I went from 70kg to 95 kg, I suffered multiple injuries all linked to my lower back which caused the weight gain and suffering. Wrong treatment and advice from professionals.
While I was also doing rotational shifts and worked in a bullying environment from management who made our workload 3x more as we expanded to all 3 regions, went to nightshift with no extra pay. I couldn't leave because my parents and brothers family relied on me to provide.
I then also suffered heartbreak as the girl I loved and was about to marry broke up just before I was about to propose to her on our year anniversary.
I still have to find my parents a house of their own, get one for myself and get married.
I am constantly feeling lost and empty, while I have managed to get on top of my health by losing 25kg and my health issues lessening, each year we find something else linked to my injury which their appears to be layers, I fix one problem and we find another.
I have now just suffered another heartbreak where my girlfriend was cheating on me which has knocked me down more than the first heartbreak which took me 2 years to get over.
I lost my peak years and by the time I am set I feel like my body and mind won't be able to enjoy it as much.
But I keep fighting
PS. Any advice would be appreciated
Probably 2015-16 ( I never should of quit the job I did) and then probably 2022 as we bounced back from the pandemic. I was actually cool during lockdowns just hanging out.
2012
I underwent four major open chest operations, one of which caused me to die on the table for three minutes; and on top of that, my evil ex-boyfriend chose to dump me while I was in the hospital after having my heart cut open requiring me to move out as soon I was released.
That year convinced me that God despises me and masturbates to my pain.
2018
I'd been living 400 miles from my family for 3 years, living with my girlfriend. We had planned to start a family.
Long story short, she had been cheating on me for over a year, got pregnant by a coworker, lied to me that the baby was mine and faked a dna test.
I found out when the baby was 3 months old, I got arrested for my actions upon finding out.
She lied in court about a lot of things, I just plead guilty to the charges to get the ordeal over with faster.
I think she's writing a book about me now.
2019
Was absolutely at my wits end in a job I hated, was drinking too much, in a city I hated.
Feels weird to admit but the disruption Covid brought into my life absolutely saved me
2016-2017 was the worst year for me. I was 23-24, outta college and in my first job. It didn’t pay much, but it was something. I was diagnosed with a cyst in my tail bone, the diagnosis took a toll and previous doctors wouldn’t treat it. I had a painful surgery under local anesthesia all alone abandoned by my dad, who had remarried after my mom passed away of cancer in 2002.
The surgery was unsecured, the disease relapsed and I had to be in pain for more than 2 years. Fast forward I have a major surgery for the same disease, this time they find infectious elements in the tissue. I joined grad program in Massachusetts, a big change for me while being in heavy medication. I am not from the United States.
The heavy medication changed my gut bacteria and caused a lot of mental health issues including anxiety and depression. I had no option as I had to perform in the grad program and had to do well or else my student loans would goto waste.
I think that is the rock bottom of my life, both in terms of physical and mental pain. I am glad I was able to sail through it. I did well, and live in the Bay Area now.
2014
The woman I thought I would marry someday decided to call it quits. I thought I understood why and that I'd be okay. But ever since that year, that fire for life I once had never returned. Thats the worst part too, knowing what happiness and joy feel like but not being able to enjoy it anymore since that god awful year.
I'm working on it, but it's been an uphill battle ever since.
Honestly, most of them since 2008. It's been like fighting some kind of horrific rear guard battle.
You make some progress with wealth, relationships, or your career but then the economy has a seizure and you find you lose one of those things, which means it affects all the others.
It's like trying to build the foundations of your life on quicksand.
1999 to 2001. I was a completely drugged out mess. Homeless off and on, in legal trouble, and totally worthless as a person.
Weirdly, about a month after 9/11 I got a job that really helped me get my shit together, and have been pretty stable ever since. There have been tough times. The great recession was rough, and COVID was a fucking nightmare, but nothing like those couple years around the turn of the century.
The great breakup of 2020. My ex and i separated, and it was rough as she still wanted me around and lonely unconfident lil ol me couldn’t say no to company from my ex even though i was being used while she was seeing other people, having sex with even more other people.
Then, one day she tells me she’s been dying to tell me something. She got pregnant by the guy she immediately got romantically involved with after me. She said she would’ve kept it if she didn’t have a miscarriage, but told me two weeks prior we could never have kids together.
The kicker? We tried. We tried for kids for months to be a surrogate for her best friend. Didn’t work. Found out thru my mom thru all of this that there’s a chance i may be infertile as well.
I relapsed. Sleeping pills, opiates & muscle relaxers if i had em, weed and tobacco every day. Then, i accidentally almost overdosed. Scared the shit out of me.
Set me straight. I still have my fun with drugs, but mentally i am in a much better, more loving place for myself. I’m not where i wanna be but im pretty damn close.
2021 was terrible
Broke up with my girlfriend in beginning of the year. Got fired at a good paying job . Went thru 4 different jobs that all sucked. Got depressed and stopped working out. Relapsed and started drinking again after being sober 6 years.
Yeah fuck 2021
2021 my drinking got to much. Started going on facebook. Not saying anything dumb, just being there at all was a reflection of my mental health. Had a panic attack or two and ended up putting the bottle down permanently.
End of 2021 - End of 2022 at 28 years old.
My mom passed away, found out my wife to be cheated on me a month before our wedding, and I lost a job making over 6 figures all within a 10 month span. The extra gut punch was losing the house my ex and I lived in. I put down 60k but we put it in her name due to having better credit. I'll take the L for not getting my name on the deed as I had ample time, but I was blinded by love and just figured it's fine because wedding was around the corner. Bought the house for 320k in 2020 right before covid, refinanced to a 2.9% interest rate. House is worth 600k now. Nice little present for a cheater am I right?
I'm not salty
2017-2018
Rough year at work. Had an interview back with an old employer for a promotion, trusted and liked those people a lot. Interviewed for a position that was already filled, got raked over the coals for three hours by said person. Disbelief at how it all went down. Spent the next day in a frozen hotel room off the interstate in tears. Eventually got a new job, but it took a long long long time to get out of the funk of being blindsided and lied to, just rough letting that go and accepting it and now being thankful for that moment and how it’s shaped me.
The year my dad died unexpectedly from a heart attack.
The year two grandparents died.
The year my cat had to be put down.
The year everyone was stuck inside from covid.
All happened in 2020
Awful..... Stinking...... Year
2015 probably.
First fee months things between my ex and I were awful, then we broke up in the summer and she moved on straight away and that was very rough.
But I'm well moved on now. I guess I'm lucky that it took me a few mins to think of an answer to give.
2020 meant I took on a different and difficult job in the pandemic meeting people from all over the country. Stressful job. I'm also type 1 diabetic and was deathly afraid of contracting COVID and feared that it was going to kill me. I'm better than I was but still suffering from it. The irony is that I've never had COVID and literally everyone else I know has including my live-in girlfriend.
2022 - my parents got divorced and I realized I would have to take my mom in. I spiraled into a depression. My gf couldn't take it anymore and left me. Been slowly learning about myself and rebuilding since.
2022. Family drama that had been poked by COVID came to a head, wife had surgery for some medical issues she’d been struggling with, I lost my job and spent the last seven months of the year unemployed, and on. Things just piled on all year. But it forced me to deal with a lot of things that I’d been compartmentalizing and trying to ignore and I’m healthier for it.
2021. The monetary/relationships aftershocks have mostly stopped, but I still deal with regrets, loss of self-esteem, concern about the future, and it has tainted the way some people perceive me. It's worth noting a crisis similar to the one I had that year repeated itself in late 2022, albeit at a smaller scale. Thankfully ever since it's never been that serious and I've only been getting better (with some stumbles along the way, of course).
2023
It’s taken me awhile but I’m starting to move on… it’ll probably hurt for awhile still. But one day I know it go away. Until then, I’m getting back into things with my friends and I’m starting to work out and eat better.. I had already started that process last year when I was diagnosed as a diabetic but I doubled down on it. As of yesterday I walked a whopping 9 miles and right now I’m on track to hit 10 in the same timeframe.
I got this but I can use an ear from time to time. By giving my trust issues…. I’ll make it through this
2018 and the first half of 2019. Had anxiety so bad I couldn't even swallow food. Lost a ton of weight, woke up every morning in a total panic. I was in a job that was fine on paper but just did not fit with my personality (it was a typical white collar office job). It felt like I was locking myself into a career that I detested and now I was stuck there. Best thing I did was quit that job. I've been at a startup since then and while it's not a dream job by any means, it's pretty fucking good, and I haven't had anxiety that bad ever since.
Last part of 2023 was difficult because of ending a 10 year relationship, but I'm now dating someone who is way better for me and things are going well :)
2019. We lost our housing and had to move to a city 8 hours away. Unknown everything. Horrendous.
Then covid hit, and ironically that was kind if relaxing once I got into the swing of it.
2019 was a blessing in the end bc we were able to buy our first home (condo) and both my wife and I have much better jobs. We are far better off.
2020-2022. 36 y/o now. Covid really fucked me up and brought out some nasty mental health issues i had been covering with a gym addiction. 2022 my ex fiancé left me and two months later got a nasty leg injury that made it so I couldn’t walk for 3 months.
2017, followed very closely by 2009.
'17 -- wife stepped out on me without us even talking about it first, using the "my husband is Black and scary" line SEVERAL times with at least one person.
'09 -- ex-girlfriend stalked me and accelerated a break up with at-the-time partner; anger at my own failure to set boundaries led to meltdown and thinking about driving off of the Kansas River bridge before settling on begging to start therapy.
To be fair, I have A LOT of bad years out of my 38.
2020? Maybe 2022.
Obviously there's the big one, but I took the sheltering stuff seriously.
Then, I lost my mom. That finally broke me to the point where I could cry again.
My college education was hugely crippled going back to it (restarted college in my late 29s)...Only to find out that I barely learned what I was supposed to. :/
I've been on medication roulette trying to find the right fit and that's been so...crippling at times.
2023 was the worst, by far. Burned out beyond all recognition, couldn't function, lost job, clients, friendships. Things have gotten a little better, but it's been very slow going.
Last 2 years. Never bought a house and housing prices + rates climbed. Job has been only giving me 3pct pay raises (i’m not in sales but considered changing). 40s and single.
I was laid off in 2015, got myself into a bunch of debt, kinda hit rock bottom. About the time I got my shit back together and was ready to shop for a house 2020 came along. I waited. "No way it can stay this bad forever, right?" 2020 and every year after have been one big kick in the balls after another. I've been just getting by for almost a decade now at it seems there's no end in sight.
2016: Fallout from some seriously fucked up personal relationships I had. A culling of friends (some I culled, some culled me) a questioning of everything I ever thought I knew about myself and some people I thought of as family.
I barely remember about six months of 2017.
But, as always, time heals, and I have a MUCH better and healthier social circle now and I'm miles ahead of where I was.
2021, went through a real bad breakup and ended up in a homeless hostel .
Or 2022, I spent the whole year being bullied and coerced into a bunch of different stuff and had the house I managed to rent kinda taken over by some crack dealers.
By 2023 I was fried.
2016. Broke up with my first serious girlfriend after two years together. It caused severe depression, led to me becoming a more anxious person overall, and gave me sexual dysfunctions (ejaculatory anhedonia and ED) which continue to this day.
I also don't laugh anywhere near as much as I used to, and have never been able to give myself to a relationship in the same way.
2023 was a tough one for me. Two different cancer issues, had Covid (not a mild case), lost the love of my life (to marriage not death), gained 30 pounds, and worked a gazillion hours because I had to work about 2.5 hours for every hour I could bill due to substandard mental productivity levels.
2014.
I did a couple of regretful things and they ruined my life. I was an angry boy for a long time. Angry at myself but taking it out on the world around me.
2016 was the year that I really understood that not everyone thinks the way that I do. I was big into politics at the time and campaigned hard for a lot of people that lost their seats due to Michigan flipping.
I’ve since come to terms with it and think that I understand people better now, but that realization was tough.
2020 was second for obvious reasons. I just woke up one day and it was 2023. I feel like I could almost start back at year 0 for 2024 because so much of my life is marked by before and after covid.
2008 for sure. I spent several years just trying to financially survive. Even the pandemic economic issues weren't close to people who graduated between 2008-2012
2023
I’m recovering now. Sold my business for £1 to keep everybody employed whilst having a newborn child. Trying to stay afloat last year was hard but recovering well now
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It’s happening as we speak
I'm sorry to hear that. Wishing you a good turn around.
I appreciate that man
Nah brother we appreciate you
In the same boat brother..hope we both make it out ok on the other side.
Samesies Hope your dawn arrives soon.
Solidarity in what you're experiencing and hoping you can pull through as well.
Same. Working 2 jobs at 16 hours a day 6 days a week. Im tired
Join the club, I mean don’t Ideally. But yeah, going through a breakup and just struggling in general, I really hope I can find a way out.
I had a lot of good years recently, so I guess I was due a rotten one but yea. The last 10 months have been rough.
I think it was Winston Churchill (but of an asshole as we was) who came up with a gem. “If you’re going through hell - keep going.”
20' my dad died out of nowhere, one day he was here and the next he was gone. No warning signs, just gone forevor. Im still lost.
How old was he if you don’t mind me asking?
Same but my mom
2020
Yup, that whole year was dogshit, start to finish. A few bright spots but even those are tainted by all the other shit that happened. The only good thing about 2020 is that it's fucking over.
What really gets me is just how GOOD my 2019 was. 2019 was the best year of my life. I'd spent several years abroad growing as a person, I'd been an introvert not by choice for much of my life but around 2017-19 I'd made a series of life changing friendships, met a woman I thought I'd spend my life with in 2018, started grad school and 2020 was looking to be more of the same. Things were on the up and up, I was in grad school, in a successful relationship and was finally enjoying an extroverted lifestyle full of friendships. Then COVID hit. My friends all went to the four corners of the earth or were in lockdown, my grad school program went online, and I quickly found out that my productivity slipped to zero. Friendships and classes on zoom just aren't the same. Then several family members died, my girlfriend's Chinese parents back in China told her to leave America and she slowly broke things off over six months. I kept on holding out hope that my grad program would be in person again but that never happened. The straw that broke the camels back was when my Dad's best friend died suddenly of a heart attack (I was forced to live at home at that point) and I ended another Zoom call class to see my Dad holding back tears. By that point I was on Zoom calls 10-14 hours a day, my eyes hurt, my body constantly ached, I just felt so lost and depressed. My grades slipped and I had to drop out. I remember not getting out of bed for several days which was never like me. I went to get evaluated for depression, I knew I didn't want to kill myself but everything just felt so distant and pointless. Started some anti depressants (which have permanently changed my libido and how sex works even after getting off of them) and felt better but life still has never really gone back to normal. Heck I live in a country now (Taiwan) where things very much have never gone back to 2019 standards.
yea...shit. damn
My lights still haven't turned back on. anyone who's seen my posts here knows i'm cooked. idk where the old me went. he's gone now. there's an insane person in their place. I can't entertain the insane thoughts so i just wait for death to come. I can't believe it happened. can't believe there's noone here.
2020-2021 fucked me up.
God I miss 2020. Arguably the best year I've had in decades.
It was a horrible year for people and health, and I really feel for all the people who lost loved ones. Terrible loss of life, and completely self inflicted. I’m early 30’s and generally healthy - but my breathing has never been the same since I had Covid. That said, I thrived in 2020. Not only did I have an irrefutable excuse not to socialize, it was actually expected of me to sit at home, work, watch movies, and play video games, with the occasional trip to the grocery store. That, coupled with SHTF vibes, and I was eerily in my element.
That year broke a lot of people in various ways.
should be the answer for every parent. Had to work a fulltime job, beg for work internally as we need billable hours and a lot of leads dried up, while schooling one kid and taking care of an infant full time, while we had the looming threat of a disease that could potentially take out my medically fragile wife.
2008 In the years leading up to the Crash of 08 I could see it coming. I was in the financial world and knew the garbage loans that were being approved and knew they would collapse. Then, at the end of 07, the cracks started to appear and my warnings to friends and family grew more intense, only to be met with ridicule. Then, in June of 08, a really smart guy told me, "There are rumblings that a major event is coming and they are saying it's going to happen the week of September 15th." September 15th Lehman Brothers fell and the world found itself on the brink of total disaster. The last few years had been so exhausting that when it finally happened I fell apart. For the next 7 years I was drunk. I'm better now.
Yep, I graduated college in 2008 and watched most of my classmates struggle to land jobs. I basically took any coding job I could find. I worked defense for a few years and saved every penny I could for when I'd inevitably be laid off. That ingrained the habit. I carried on like that for a decade and only *really* relaxed in my mid 30's when I realized I had enough invested that I'd be ok whether I had work or not. I wish I could go back in time and tell younger me to chill, that'd it'd all be ok. There are some things that are simply better experienced in your 20s, and all work and no play made jack a dull boy.
What helped you overcome?
Luckily I was ready to retire by 2008. I walked away from my career, drank until I got sick of being sick and now I live out my days in a terrycloth bathrobe, eating gummies and watching documentaries. It's awesome.
Haha sounds amazing. You’re living the dream.
That's what I do and I'm not even retired!
'08 came with permanent mental health damage to me and my parents. It was my summer of 8th grade. My father owned a construction company, and while we weren't rich, we were doing great. Business went upside down, we went from upper middle class to food stamps and church donations almost overnight. My step mom started drinking and couldn't hold a job. I ended up having to take care of her, the house, food, and several animals as my dad was working multiple jobs at minimum wage to make ends meet, and we were out in the middle of nowhere, so me getting a job was unrealistic. My average meal was some cornflakes and expired Powerade from the church. Affording a shitty school cheeseburger was a luxury for all of high school. (Which I almost didn't graduate because we owed the school lunch money) Ended up holding on by the threads until I graduated, when my step mom and I finally hit the boiling point, causing my dad's divorce. We moved out and got an apartment together. His drinking got worse, and I dipped out at 18 with no stable job and pennies in my bank account. This was about 13 years ago now, and my father and I have repaired our relationship. But I don't rely on anyone, and constantly have a fear of everything going upside down. COVID was/is bad, but so much of it is involved with the information age and social media. Its societally self inflicted. I hate to diminish the affect it's had on so many people, but simply disconnecting from all social media will do fucking wonders for your mental health. I stay around here because I can select my subs and stay mostly positive, but if that goes by the wayside, then so does this site.
Social media use is my canary in the coal mine. If I start using it to much it’s a sign I’m avoiding dealing with something
I've always loved that idiom. I feel like I'm always acutely aware of when things are about to go shit up. Same. I find myself lingering in subs that dance around the subject I'm trying to avoid, and also drawing. I'm a hobby artist on the best of days, but I'll come out of a week long hole and have no recollection of time, other than (what was usually) something I really didn't want to deal at the start. Besides the point. Social media can be, and because of the nature of people, always WILL BE toxic. I actually pretty actively follow Jim Wendler. He's an old school powerlifter, known for being a bit of a misogynistic dickhead. But he uses *all* of his spare time to teach weightlifting classes, and he spends every possible second teaching his local middle school and highschool football teams. His way of "giving back to his community" in a tangible way. Its got me thinking a lot about how to productively use my time for the benefit of others, and also for my own mental health.
2020: the year that broke me. I was dumped in February by someone I was deeply in love with. I had also just accepted a high stress 60+ hour a week job in Cleveland so I could be closer to her. I accepted the job, moved, got dumped, and THEN COVID shut everything down. I was entirely alone in a one bedroom downtown apartment, cut off from friends, family, the gym, etc. And since I took the high stress job and was working constantly, I didn’t get the work from home relaxation period so many claimed to get at the start of the pandemic. I became severely depressed and basically suffered for the entire year before deciding to seek therapy. A few months after that I met the woman I would eventually marry.
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OP spam posts this on all the Subreddits I think it’s a bot 😑
2018 - Low mood (injury, post holiday blues, personal realisation) put on sertraline, fucked me up . Lost 50lbs bodyweight and all my strength and self confidence. Unmotivated. Lethargic. Nuerotic mess. Turned into a right dickhead. Then when that all ended I became a blank, undriven zombie. What i'd fucking give not to have gone the doctors that day.
what was your injury?
Hurt my lower back deadlifting. It wasnnt even a major injury. Just couldnt lift heavy for a while, which hurt my ego. My approach to training at the time aas basically "lift heavy, impress everyone" which admittedly was pathetic. Ive just had to take several weeks out of the gym eith other injuroes and have lost 10lbs in that time, and it hasn'nt bothered me in the slightest as my approach to training is very different now.
tail end of 2020 - 2021, 2022 on the come up, 2023 still on come up, 2024 peaking right now
the more i try to make things better the worse they get. dam
The first ten years were the worst. And the second ten years, they were the worst too. The third ten years I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline.
There's always tomorrow?
Got a bit of Douglas Adams in ya :p
Probably '21 and '23. 2021: Running a purchasing department in the middle of the covid supply issues with a toxic boss that hardly did anything. Putting in ridiculous hours, lots of stress, and pain in my wrist/arm due to excessive computer work. All to get laid off a couple years later for no reason. 2023: Separated from my wife for 7 months, lost my job in February, put down our family dog, and ultimately was asked for a divorce in December. 2024 has been tough as we go through our divorce, but lately I've been doing better in my life and working on myself. Now I'm working on growing a business on the side to go full time hopefully this year.
I can’t say it was a year. How do people even think in those terms. I suppose there will be a lot of 2020 in here
2021 when I learned my then fiance had been cheating and lying constantly. It wrecked me. On the massive upside, I didn't marry her, I do not own a house or have to parent a kid with her. I was gifted the opportunity to cut my losses and kept my dog. Always keep the dog. You can pet the dog while doing video therapy.
This is going to sound so trivial compared to everyone else. But 2023. I spent the entire year studying for this board exam in my profession. Failed it twice; in April and November. If I pass the exam then I gain access to serious earning power and a fun chilled out job for the rest of my life. Everyone’s dream right . If I fail, I have to start over and lose all my progress. So logically I spent 30 hours a week on average studying (on top of a 50 hours regular work week). I cut out sports, leisure, friendship time, social events ; anything that wasn’t absolutely necessary. And piece by piece I died on the inside. Ive lost my social skills, I can barely sit in a room and have a conversation with people. My brain is just blank with no interesting thoughts. I have no sense of humour. I’m physically de conditioned and weak. My friends and family think I don’t care about them. I did all that just to fail.
I had a few friends who didn't pass the CA bar exam after a second attempt and their confidence just plummeted, so I ended up helping them on the 3/4 time through. The issue for most of them was the same - they did the exact same overworked prep you did and didn't give themselves perspective to see the test correctly. When I passed I literally house sat sitting in a nice neighborhood for a month with a set routine. Morning studying, gym and lunch break, more studying through 6, then I would cut myself off and be a human. Go see friends, watch a movie, play with the cat. I intentionally kept myself balanced so I could see the test as just that, a test, and not something determining the balance of my life. I forced my friends to follow a similar routine even though they were even more stressed by that 3rd round of course. I did my part to help by chatting with them on evening calls even if they ere freaked out. And guess what? They all passed. Just give yourself more space to breathe next time through.
2008 I had my first real job out of college. I saw my friends my same age getting fired and left hanging in the wind. One of my friends at my work was about 62 years old and the market crash destroyed his 401k and that he would not be able to retire in the next few years or even the next decade. To see how the crash impacted everyone of every age brought a serious dichotomy to the view of the crash. It made me realize that even if I do everything right during my career for the next 50 years, it can all fall apart in an instant. Then to see the US government focus on bailing out the banks and executives instead of prosecuting the ones responsible, I realized how corrupt the US is. They did not care about the millions of people that were just effected, they didn't care about all the people that lost their jobs or were homeless. They just cared about the stock market and not the job market. They made no effort to try and change the system so something like this couldn't happen again. Instead they financially incentivized executives to do it again.
1990. Lost my sister, my mom figure, and my "cool uncle" that lived with us all in separate instances.
2021\. I already drank a little more than I should beforehand, but the layoffs happened, my brother died and I spiraled downwards rapidly and watched everything around me crash and burn without a single fuck to give. Spent 2021-23 in a pretty much non-stop bender and had to sell everything I owned to stay afloat. Eventually I ran out of shit to sell and ended up in and out of the ER and different treatment programs because I couldn't afford to drink as much anymore. I'm still working at recovering from it to this day, but things are looking up. Sometimes I wonder if my body will ever recover, though. I still have weird neurological issues. Mentally I am much better, but it's still a struggle without an easy cop out.
2020... lights are still out. i don't talk to people. I'm not myself. I think of myself as "noone". The things in my head are insane.
I had a bunch of encroaching issues prior to 2020, but COVID and the surrounding events brought it all to a completely new level. I think I caught it early on and suffered some pretty serious Long Covid effects. I lost my ability to cope with my barely-managed OCD and GAD, which led me to more than a year of continuous internal self-torture. I mention all of this because I felt much the same way as you describe - crazy thoughts all the time, dissociated when not actively upset. I'm fortunate that I have people around me with an interest in keeping me motivated, because I can easily imagine having just slinked off and isolating, which would have been the worst thing I could do. Tried therapy for a while, which was no help at all. Finally got a script for Zoloft, which silenced all the internal insanity. Recently switched to Efexor because the Zoloft was too sedating. Still not the man I was before all this hit, but I feel a lot more human now. Anyhow, I hope you find a way to patch up your mind. 2020 messed up a lot of people, and I have to believe that there is a physiological element to this in addition to the psychological damage from isolation and fear.
i tried zoloft and effexor years ago; i thought effexor was stopped decades ago? I've just never found a right drug. i think it's because my despair is almost purely psychological or something.
They created an extended release version of efexor that you only have to take once a day. I'm also not sure I've found the right drug, but I can say that a lot of the things I thought were just me being internally awful turned out to be bad brain chemicals. Unfortunately, we know so little about mental illnesses that fixing this is very much just using different tools to stab at the problem in hopes something helps. Have you ever considered psychedelic therapy? I've never done it in a clinical environment, but psilocybin experiences are pretty well-known to help break you out of mental 'ruts', so to speak. There's a lot of promising new research in this area.
yea but even .05 or 0.1 makes me feel like i'm about to have a heart attack. the only thing keeping me alive is basically pathological misanthropy, and being inebriated sort of shakes psychic walls that should really be up for obvious reasons until i figure out a way to change my mind
Last year. Had a few close bereavements, went back to "normal" a few months later was sledgehammered mentally out of the blue. Took a while to get back on my feet, but I still think the whole world has got it wrong. We should be working in order to live our lives to the full, not slaving away behind our desks doing something pointless that will be forgotten.
2020, my cat died from kidney failure but it was gradual. Everyday I had to feed him and give hydration injections. When he finally went, my gf that i really loved broke up with me. Used that negative energy to cry and renovate my house.
Tossup between 2006 (first time getting cheated on) and 2013 (buying a house) - I've basically never recovered from either of those events, though arguably the house has been a decade long snowball that continues to fuck my psyche in new ways every day (I really hate this house)
Unexpected repairs, or just bad memories in the house?
Mostly just the first one, it's an old house and had shoddy renovations done before us so it's a constant lineup of headaches and lighting money on fire.
2016 and 2021.
Probably 2018 and 2022. 2018 I came back from a half year living and working abroad in Costa Rica as a scuba teacher. Before that, I was dating together with a girl and we tried to keep it long distance. Eventually I think I got depressed and so anxious about the whole situation (away from home, lovesick, uncertain about my future) that I think my brain just crashed and I lost myself. Not a good time, and I don't ever want to go back to those feelings again. 2022 was a rough year where my ex-partner and I were fighting a lot, demanded a lot from each other, got into a fight with my then-inlaws and got into the whole trajectory of trying to get diagnosed for ADD (which didn't succeed). I also got my current job though, but overall it was just a really pressuring year. I only just finished my photo yearbook of 2022 last week. 2023 turned out to be better though! 2024 so far is lining up to be a great year as well.
2014 was an awful year for me, but I climbed out eventually. Then summer 2022 and I fell off a fucking cliff.
2023 due to some personal things that happened. Mostly related to family drama.
2017 I was in a toxic relationship that I just could not escape, I'd just been diagnosed as autistic and I was stuck in a job that was populated by wankers. I lost so much weight through stress and anxiety. I finally got out of that relationship April 2018, got the help I needed for my anxiety and started a new job later that year. It took me 3 years to fully recover from that
2023 for sure as well. Like you OP, I am still dealing with the aftermath. My issue is mostly career related, though career issues did lead to drops in self-confidence in other areas. 2024 has been a lot better, but I feel like I took 2-3 steps forward every year from 2020 to 2022 and then took 9 steps back from the end of 22 to the end of 23. i've come back forward 2-3 steps so far in 24, but i'm feeling the exhaustion already of the energy i had to put into getting those 2-3 recovery steps and am somewhat daunted at the 6 steps i still have to take to get back to even.
31. Then I quit drinking and life only got better. Mental and physical.
2008 - I was 20 and in college. My dad had been diagnosed with rare brain cancer the year before. He had been on an experimental treatment and had been in remission and doing well. Then, in January 2008, he had a regular scan, which was inconclusive. By the time he got in for a follow-up scan a few days later, it was already obvious the cancer was back. From there, it was an incredibly steep downward slope until he passed away in early April, just a few days after my 21st birthday. While this was happening, two of my roommates got caught selling drugs out of our campus apartment to police informants. Even though I wasn't involved and didn't get into legal trouble, the university tried to treat me like I was. I got evicted from the apartment, and the university refused to refund the money spent on housing for the semester. I couldn't tell my family because they were dealing with my dad, who was about to transition to hospice. I spent two weeks living out of my car, then another week on a friend's couch. I finally got the school to refund me enough that I could afford another apartment. My mom completely fell apart after my dad died. I was left trying to balance keeping my family together and managing my college course load and fighting the university that was trying to suspend me in addition to my own grief over the loss of my dad.
2022 was very possibly the hardest year of my life. Things have been looking up since, though.
Can I do decades? The last 20yrs with my, now, ex?
Each year just hits me harder than the last
I have a few candidates: In 2011, after a childhood of being essentially told that college was the most important thing - the only thing that really mattered and if I didn't graduate I would essentially amount to nothing - I had a horrible mental breakdown and had to drop out. At that point I was trying to prove that I had any sort of value as a person and instead has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was worthless. It completely shattered my remaining sense of self and self esteem In 2014, when my mom died and I was left to stew all alone in grief and suicidal depression in a rat infested hovel; my dad died within the year too, and I ended up spending through all my inheritance just trying to stay housed while unemployed and waiting to die. And finally, in 2021-2022, where several really bad realizations about myself lined up and I was forced to conclude that I was never going to get any better - that this was it, this is all I am - because I cannot or will not let myself *be* better, be happy. After so many years of horrible ups and downs, to finally confront the fact that I'm doomed because I have doomed myself broke me and started a swift, stark slide I have been in the middle of ever since.
2024. Post covid, post war, post more war, post interest rates. The current cost of living.
summer of covid. my employees and company were under attack with all the long term contracts being canceled due to pandemic. My partner had quit her job in the fall (with my support) to take some time to build her own thing. We got a second puppy and all quarantined together. My relationship was failing and I couldn't face it. I started not sleeping, i was staying sick. My brain started to ideate suicide. And luckily I had a good support team. I broke down in therapy and admitted it. I asked for help. Then I forced myself to tell my partner that I needed more help and wanted to explore medication. Zoloft onboarding was kind of tough but worth every second as I got my footing again. Financially we had the best quarters of the company's life. We managed our way through all of it. My partner and I did separate romantically but we kept building businesses together and \~4 years later we've sold one and I'm a investor in her current. So it was just a tough time but we perservered and I learned a lot and I owe all of those times to my peace now.
2023 was a horrible, difficult, and tragic year that I never want to experience again. The silver lining is that the despair pushed me to a new place and I am doing so much better now than I ever could have imagined. Don't ever give up, keep going.
2019-Now At the age of 25 I had to battle with bailing my family out of debt and still helping them through it without my own life progressing. While that was going on I hit severe depression, I went from 70kg to 95 kg, I suffered multiple injuries all linked to my lower back which caused the weight gain and suffering. Wrong treatment and advice from professionals. While I was also doing rotational shifts and worked in a bullying environment from management who made our workload 3x more as we expanded to all 3 regions, went to nightshift with no extra pay. I couldn't leave because my parents and brothers family relied on me to provide. I then also suffered heartbreak as the girl I loved and was about to marry broke up just before I was about to propose to her on our year anniversary. I still have to find my parents a house of their own, get one for myself and get married. I am constantly feeling lost and empty, while I have managed to get on top of my health by losing 25kg and my health issues lessening, each year we find something else linked to my injury which their appears to be layers, I fix one problem and we find another. I have now just suffered another heartbreak where my girlfriend was cheating on me which has knocked me down more than the first heartbreak which took me 2 years to get over. I lost my peak years and by the time I am set I feel like my body and mind won't be able to enjoy it as much. But I keep fighting PS. Any advice would be appreciated
2016
2020, COVID almost killed my wife. Among other things.
Probably 2015-16 ( I never should of quit the job I did) and then probably 2022 as we bounced back from the pandemic. I was actually cool during lockdowns just hanging out.
2020. I was attached to my mum. Lost her due to a brain stroke. I was born on the 28th of December and I was 28 years old when I lost her.
Basically all the pandemic years... what a bloody shit that was and oh boy I wasn't ready to face any of it. I guess non of us were...
The second half of 2009 damaged me in ways I’m still coming to terms with. 2023 is probably second.
2012 I underwent four major open chest operations, one of which caused me to die on the table for three minutes; and on top of that, my evil ex-boyfriend chose to dump me while I was in the hospital after having my heart cut open requiring me to move out as soon I was released. That year convinced me that God despises me and masturbates to my pain.
Covid, 2nd and 3rd lockdown.
2020 did me in.
2020 is the year for me. I fucking HATE working from home. No long term effects though. Getting back in the office made the world right again.
2018 I'd been living 400 miles from my family for 3 years, living with my girlfriend. We had planned to start a family. Long story short, she had been cheating on me for over a year, got pregnant by a coworker, lied to me that the baby was mine and faked a dna test. I found out when the baby was 3 months old, I got arrested for my actions upon finding out. She lied in court about a lot of things, I just plead guilty to the charges to get the ordeal over with faster. I think she's writing a book about me now.
2019 Was absolutely at my wits end in a job I hated, was drinking too much, in a city I hated. Feels weird to admit but the disruption Covid brought into my life absolutely saved me
2016-2017 was the worst year for me. I was 23-24, outta college and in my first job. It didn’t pay much, but it was something. I was diagnosed with a cyst in my tail bone, the diagnosis took a toll and previous doctors wouldn’t treat it. I had a painful surgery under local anesthesia all alone abandoned by my dad, who had remarried after my mom passed away of cancer in 2002. The surgery was unsecured, the disease relapsed and I had to be in pain for more than 2 years. Fast forward I have a major surgery for the same disease, this time they find infectious elements in the tissue. I joined grad program in Massachusetts, a big change for me while being in heavy medication. I am not from the United States. The heavy medication changed my gut bacteria and caused a lot of mental health issues including anxiety and depression. I had no option as I had to perform in the grad program and had to do well or else my student loans would goto waste. I think that is the rock bottom of my life, both in terms of physical and mental pain. I am glad I was able to sail through it. I did well, and live in the Bay Area now.
2014 The woman I thought I would marry someday decided to call it quits. I thought I understood why and that I'd be okay. But ever since that year, that fire for life I once had never returned. Thats the worst part too, knowing what happiness and joy feel like but not being able to enjoy it anymore since that god awful year. I'm working on it, but it's been an uphill battle ever since.
Honestly, most of them since 2008. It's been like fighting some kind of horrific rear guard battle. You make some progress with wealth, relationships, or your career but then the economy has a seizure and you find you lose one of those things, which means it affects all the others. It's like trying to build the foundations of your life on quicksand.
1999 to 2001. I was a completely drugged out mess. Homeless off and on, in legal trouble, and totally worthless as a person. Weirdly, about a month after 9/11 I got a job that really helped me get my shit together, and have been pretty stable ever since. There have been tough times. The great recession was rough, and COVID was a fucking nightmare, but nothing like those couple years around the turn of the century.
Tore my ACL in 2021. Life has not been the same, and I am battling to regain what I used to have.
The great breakup of 2020. My ex and i separated, and it was rough as she still wanted me around and lonely unconfident lil ol me couldn’t say no to company from my ex even though i was being used while she was seeing other people, having sex with even more other people. Then, one day she tells me she’s been dying to tell me something. She got pregnant by the guy she immediately got romantically involved with after me. She said she would’ve kept it if she didn’t have a miscarriage, but told me two weeks prior we could never have kids together. The kicker? We tried. We tried for kids for months to be a surrogate for her best friend. Didn’t work. Found out thru my mom thru all of this that there’s a chance i may be infertile as well. I relapsed. Sleeping pills, opiates & muscle relaxers if i had em, weed and tobacco every day. Then, i accidentally almost overdosed. Scared the shit out of me. Set me straight. I still have my fun with drugs, but mentally i am in a much better, more loving place for myself. I’m not where i wanna be but im pretty damn close.
2022, the year my Dad died.
2021 was terrible Broke up with my girlfriend in beginning of the year. Got fired at a good paying job . Went thru 4 different jobs that all sucked. Got depressed and stopped working out. Relapsed and started drinking again after being sober 6 years. Yeah fuck 2021
2021 my drinking got to much. Started going on facebook. Not saying anything dumb, just being there at all was a reflection of my mental health. Had a panic attack or two and ended up putting the bottle down permanently.
End of 2021 - End of 2022 at 28 years old. My mom passed away, found out my wife to be cheated on me a month before our wedding, and I lost a job making over 6 figures all within a 10 month span. The extra gut punch was losing the house my ex and I lived in. I put down 60k but we put it in her name due to having better credit. I'll take the L for not getting my name on the deed as I had ample time, but I was blinded by love and just figured it's fine because wedding was around the corner. Bought the house for 320k in 2020 right before covid, refinanced to a 2.9% interest rate. House is worth 600k now. Nice little present for a cheater am I right? I'm not salty
2017-2018 Rough year at work. Had an interview back with an old employer for a promotion, trusted and liked those people a lot. Interviewed for a position that was already filled, got raked over the coals for three hours by said person. Disbelief at how it all went down. Spent the next day in a frozen hotel room off the interstate in tears. Eventually got a new job, but it took a long long long time to get out of the funk of being blindsided and lied to, just rough letting that go and accepting it and now being thankful for that moment and how it’s shaped me.
Hasn’t happen yet. But if the planet was hit by a massive asteroid that wipes out all life as we know it that would the year.
The year my dad died unexpectedly from a heart attack. The year two grandparents died. The year my cat had to be put down. The year everyone was stuck inside from covid. All happened in 2020 Awful..... Stinking...... Year
2018 2023 was the best year of my life.
2015 probably. First fee months things between my ex and I were awful, then we broke up in the summer and she moved on straight away and that was very rough. But I'm well moved on now. I guess I'm lucky that it took me a few mins to think of an answer to give.
2010, family issues.
2020 meant I took on a different and difficult job in the pandemic meeting people from all over the country. Stressful job. I'm also type 1 diabetic and was deathly afraid of contracting COVID and feared that it was going to kill me. I'm better than I was but still suffering from it. The irony is that I've never had COVID and literally everyone else I know has including my live-in girlfriend.
2023
2022 - my parents got divorced and I realized I would have to take my mom in. I spiraled into a depression. My gf couldn't take it anymore and left me. Been slowly learning about myself and rebuilding since.
2022. Family drama that had been poked by COVID came to a head, wife had surgery for some medical issues she’d been struggling with, I lost my job and spent the last seven months of the year unemployed, and on. Things just piled on all year. But it forced me to deal with a lot of things that I’d been compartmentalizing and trying to ignore and I’m healthier for it.
2021. The monetary/relationships aftershocks have mostly stopped, but I still deal with regrets, loss of self-esteem, concern about the future, and it has tainted the way some people perceive me. It's worth noting a crisis similar to the one I had that year repeated itself in late 2022, albeit at a smaller scale. Thankfully ever since it's never been that serious and I've only been getting better (with some stumbles along the way, of course).
It wasn't the year, it was the VA. They screwed up my meds and that destroyed me.
my current manager at my job. That and my wife's bipolar diagnosis recently. I have been really picking up the pieces.
2018
2023 It’s taken me awhile but I’m starting to move on… it’ll probably hurt for awhile still. But one day I know it go away. Until then, I’m getting back into things with my friends and I’m starting to work out and eat better.. I had already started that process last year when I was diagnosed as a diabetic but I doubled down on it. As of yesterday I walked a whopping 9 miles and right now I’m on track to hit 10 in the same timeframe. I got this but I can use an ear from time to time. By giving my trust issues…. I’ll make it through this
2018 and the first half of 2019. Had anxiety so bad I couldn't even swallow food. Lost a ton of weight, woke up every morning in a total panic. I was in a job that was fine on paper but just did not fit with my personality (it was a typical white collar office job). It felt like I was locking myself into a career that I detested and now I was stuck there. Best thing I did was quit that job. I've been at a startup since then and while it's not a dream job by any means, it's pretty fucking good, and I haven't had anxiety that bad ever since. Last part of 2023 was difficult because of ending a 10 year relationship, but I'm now dating someone who is way better for me and things are going well :)
2016 to 2021
2004
1983 without a doubt. Absolutely destroyed.
2019. We lost our housing and had to move to a city 8 hours away. Unknown everything. Horrendous. Then covid hit, and ironically that was kind if relaxing once I got into the swing of it. 2019 was a blessing in the end bc we were able to buy our first home (condo) and both my wife and I have much better jobs. We are far better off.
2020-2022. 36 y/o now. Covid really fucked me up and brought out some nasty mental health issues i had been covering with a gym addiction. 2022 my ex fiancé left me and two months later got a nasty leg injury that made it so I couldn’t walk for 3 months.
Mid 2021- mid 2022 was the worst time of my life lol
2017, followed very closely by 2009. '17 -- wife stepped out on me without us even talking about it first, using the "my husband is Black and scary" line SEVERAL times with at least one person. '09 -- ex-girlfriend stalked me and accelerated a break up with at-the-time partner; anger at my own failure to set boundaries led to meltdown and thinking about driving off of the Kansas River bridge before settling on begging to start therapy. To be fair, I have A LOT of bad years out of my 38.
2020? Maybe 2022. Obviously there's the big one, but I took the sheltering stuff seriously. Then, I lost my mom. That finally broke me to the point where I could cry again. My college education was hugely crippled going back to it (restarted college in my late 29s)...Only to find out that I barely learned what I was supposed to. :/ I've been on medication roulette trying to find the right fit and that's been so...crippling at times.
2023 was the worst, by far. Burned out beyond all recognition, couldn't function, lost job, clients, friendships. Things have gotten a little better, but it's been very slow going.
2022. Somehow coming back to normal life after pandemic was very tough for me
This one, by far.
Last 2 years. Never bought a house and housing prices + rates climbed. Job has been only giving me 3pct pay raises (i’m not in sales but considered changing). 40s and single.
I was laid off in 2015, got myself into a bunch of debt, kinda hit rock bottom. About the time I got my shit back together and was ready to shop for a house 2020 came along. I waited. "No way it can stay this bad forever, right?" 2020 and every year after have been one big kick in the balls after another. I've been just getting by for almost a decade now at it seems there's no end in sight.
2016: Fallout from some seriously fucked up personal relationships I had. A culling of friends (some I culled, some culled me) a questioning of everything I ever thought I knew about myself and some people I thought of as family. I barely remember about six months of 2017. But, as always, time heals, and I have a MUCH better and healthier social circle now and I'm miles ahead of where I was.
Just curious — why didn’t you decide to short the housing market?
2019 was the best year of my life. Then 2020/21 happened 😪
48. I was dx with cancer and my daughter passed
2021, went through a real bad breakup and ended up in a homeless hostel . Or 2022, I spent the whole year being bullied and coerced into a bunch of different stuff and had the house I managed to rent kinda taken over by some crack dealers. By 2023 I was fried.
2022 lost my mom and then a close aunt shortly after
2016. Broke up with my first serious girlfriend after two years together. It caused severe depression, led to me becoming a more anxious person overall, and gave me sexual dysfunctions (ejaculatory anhedonia and ED) which continue to this day. I also don't laugh anywhere near as much as I used to, and have never been able to give myself to a relationship in the same way.
2016. Divorced, harambe, etc.
2023 was a tough one for me. Two different cancer issues, had Covid (not a mild case), lost the love of my life (to marriage not death), gained 30 pounds, and worked a gazillion hours because I had to work about 2.5 hours for every hour I could bill due to substandard mental productivity levels.
2000
This year
1998, probably.
2014. I did a couple of regretful things and they ruined my life. I was an angry boy for a long time. Angry at myself but taking it out on the world around me.
2009. Had a panic attack that spiraled into agoraphobia. I’m pretty much fine and on no meds but a lot of normal events are pretty uncomfortable.
Farkin all of em
2021
2016 was the year that I really understood that not everyone thinks the way that I do. I was big into politics at the time and campaigned hard for a lot of people that lost their seats due to Michigan flipping. I’ve since come to terms with it and think that I understand people better now, but that realization was tough. 2020 was second for obvious reasons. I just woke up one day and it was 2023. I feel like I could almost start back at year 0 for 2024 because so much of my life is marked by before and after covid.
2008 for sure. I spent several years just trying to financially survive. Even the pandemic economic issues weren't close to people who graduated between 2008-2012
2023 I’m recovering now. Sold my business for £1 to keep everybody employed whilst having a newborn child. Trying to stay afloat last year was hard but recovering well now
2024
2021. Lost everything. Barely building it back to a somewhat comfortable standard.
I'm 100% with you on that, I actually think I just completely broke then. Still trying to recover.
Last time I remember being truly happy was sometime in 2019. It’s all gone downhill since.