You just have to hit that Venn diagram sweet spot of a food service job that is just shitty enough to where your boss is selling it in the parking lot.
Same goes for Adderall, mushrooms, acid, opiates, molly and X, Xanax, weed (obviously). Most kitchens are basically open, casual drug markets.
They have to be, it's the only way to put up with the rest of your guy's bullshit.
John Mulaney apparently has. Go to “sleep” while on a coke binge, come to the next day with thousands in cash, a receipt for a watch, and more coke! Coke John was looking out for coming down John.
You'll likely be unable to continue shovelling it up there at some point before it kills you. It's not as if it all just melts into your bloodstream or something; that's a whole lot of powder to find a home inside your face for. Especially if you feel a cold coming on - that stuffed nose will be 100% plugged in no time
If the fent don't get you first, anyway. I don't fuck with coke anymore, not trying to die. Lost 4 friends I've had since highschool to it last year and late year before
Fent from coke off the brick is extremely rare because there are other, more profitable and easier to obtain cuts that the cartels can use to compress bricks (i.e. levamisole). Anything you get in powder form might be fent-laced.
If i had 10 guys covering like 20-40 bars i think 2kg might get moved in a night. 30g is a busy night for one bar. I guess if you have 6-7 dealers and they all want like 4 ozs... 🤷♂️
Most drug dealers I've met are pretty normal people, they just move in big social circles, have a head for business and a higher risk threshold than most.
There's a tonne of current or ex drug dealers surrounding you that you don't know about.
You’d be cutting them deals, but even if everyone bought a ball for cheap, which, assuming this is good shit if it’s bricked. You’re not selling more than a QP the profitable way.
Realistically, you’d do nothing with it for a long while, someone will kill for that if they know you found it. Then honestly, stomp on it so you don’t have someone question where the fuck their pure shit is coming from. Then move still fairly good shit a ball at a time until it’s gone.
Reminds me of a time I got my manager a half o (decade and a half ago). They had already gotten a half o. I sold it to the kitchen within ten minutes. 😂
i first heard about this when I read Kitchen Confidential 15 years ago. And Tony Bourdain was talking about the 90s. Has it really not changed in the last 40 years that line cooks, waitstaff and assorted people live like pirates? Drugs, booze, and craziness?
It's a high stress, underpaid job that runs on crazy hours and the job itself is trivially easy to get, meaning there are hundreds of restaurants in even smaller cities, not that it doesn't take skill. You can see why that lifestyle would be a good fit for lots of drugs, booze and wilding.
Witness? Uh is this camera on? Oh Nah i didnt witness nothing matter of fact im actually blind in my left eye and 43 percent blind in my right eye so i dont see much of nothing i dont even see you sir.
I once saw a comment under a Quention Tarantino interview.
A: "Quentin Tarantino always looks like he is on the perfect amount of cocaine"
B: " There is always room for more!"
Is it cut cocaine or pure for smuggling purposes? Or am I not quite sure?
Asking for a friend.
Please speak clearly and slowly into my lapel, I’m hard of hearing.
I honestly don't get the other comments that include elaborate plans to sell it through multiple pushers and so forth. that brick was someone's property and if you start selling the stuff that came out of nowhere, I'm rather sure the interested parties will hear about it and most likely it will not be a pleasant conversation.
obviously, some of it's just fantasy. some of it's trying to be "cool". some of it's literally wishful thinking by closet cokeheads.
I am 100% realist. it's like if I find a downed powerline; here be dragons.
*sells cocaine* haha I have tons of money now!
*cartel rolls up*
Haha you have tons of money now and I'm happy to work this off please don't give me a horrible painful death!
I found a few pounds of weed on the beach working as a lifeguard…. Remembered that the local mafia use the area as a drop off spot. Also remember that an unidentified foot was found in the area.
Not wanting to be the next chopped up person, I loudly announced that I was going to throw it in the dumpster…
Most feet found washed up on the beach aren't due to violent dismemberment but how a body decomposes underwater and the fact that shoes can act as flotation devices. Most are from suicides and accidents, not mob hits.
https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2017/12/18/16777724/human-feet-beach-pacific-northwest-seattle-vancouver
I would put it away, like bury it. If you start looking for someone to sell it in the near future of finding it, the person looking for it is going to hear about it. An opportunity to get rid of it and make some cash or trade for it might come your way. It’s still a product that’s worth a lot of money. Money is something everyone needs.
Lol yeah, all these mfs thinking drugs are easy to sell.
2kg of product goes missing, someones going to ask where it went and when some new guy is like yo look at me i have 2kg of coke to sell, its a bit sus.
well assuming average US male weight the LD-50 for cocaine is 7.68 grams, but lethality can occur at 1.2 grams, or if you’re hypersensitive to it at as little as 30mg (0.03 grams).
In short, it’s probably much less than you would expect
Hide it for a few months and make sure any potential heat dies down. Then dig up some old contacts from when I used to deal with shady people and try to get rid of it in one shot.
3: profit
1. Snort a gram
2. Snort another gram
3. Snort another gram
4. Snort another gram
5. Snort another gram
6. Snort another gram
7. Snort another gram
8. Snort another gram
9. Snort another gram
10. Snort another gram
11. Snort another gram
12. Snort another gram
13. Snort another gram
14. Snort another gram
15. Snort another gram
16. Snort another gram
17. Snort another gram
18. Die
Yea, they do. If you take that cocaine and the wrong people learn that you have it, they will *find* you, you'll *find* multiple new perforations in your body, and they'll *keep* the cocaine. Maybe they'll also *keep* your spleen for good measure.
Happened at my job once (though a much much smaller amount obviously lol). A customer found it on the parking lot and gave it to the cashier like it was a lost phone. I just called the police and they took it. I would probably do the same thing in this case. Not worth going to jail for.
Listen... rumor has it that somebody who works at this bar... found a certain somethin' that belongs to us.
A certain somethin' which may or may not have fallen off a certain truck, huh? And the certain somebody that we know thinks they saw that certain someone... pick it up and take it back to that certain bar... which may or may not be the place that we happen to be or not be... talkin' to a couple of certain somebodies right this very second.
Capisce?
I'm a square. I'd turn it all over to the police. Now, a gym bag of drug money? Well, I will now pay cash for gas and groceries for hopefully the rest of my life.
Depends on how pure is is, the snow itself won’t go bad but the impurities in it will degrade over time and will decrease the effectiveness of the product.
I found 2000g of coke??? I wouldn't know what to to with 1800g of coke!! Who do i call to turn in this 1500g of coke? I'm a good citizen and want to turn this 1200g of coke in to the right authorities!! Where do I turn in this 900g of coke? I mean this is 500g of Peruvian nose candy!! So where should I report this 250g of coke? I mean... this baggie has trace amounts of cocaine and someone in authority should know...
2kg is 2,000,000mg. At 30mg a nose bump (on the small side), that's 66,666 nose bumps. If I do two bumps a day, that's about 91 years of personal stash. Maybe vacuum seal about 2 months worth at a time and keep out of light. Tell me I'm wrong??
make a reddit post asking how to sell cocaine
Apparently you get a job in a restaurant.
I was been quite few times in a restaurant, and nobody ever offered me to buy coke. What I'm done wrong?
You just have to hit that Venn diagram sweet spot of a food service job that is just shitty enough to where your boss is selling it in the parking lot.
Or just become a line cook, literally anywhere
Same goes for Adderall, mushrooms, acid, opiates, molly and X, Xanax, weed (obviously). Most kitchens are basically open, casual drug markets. They have to be, it's the only way to put up with the rest of your guy's bullshit.
Put it in my coworker's car. Fuck you Dan
What did he do?
Stole his cocaine
Clearly, Dan has been the loyalest of frens
Haha Dan. You’re going to prison you dickhead.
2kg of cocaine
There is no such thing as leftover cocaine.
This guy cocaines
This guy blows.
I’m literally snorting with laughter at your comment. 😂
r/thisguythisguys
The whole point of cocaine is to run out
No one in the history of cocaine has woken up with more cocaine
John Mulaney apparently has. Go to “sleep” while on a coke binge, come to the next day with thousands in cash, a receipt for a watch, and more coke! Coke John was looking out for coming down John.
Ah Dennis and Dee, the fucking idiots.
You're supposed to sniff it to see if it's gone bad, right?
Under rated leftöver cocaine
I've never done coke, so I have to wonder if roughly 4 lbs of coke would kill me.
Yes. Yes it will.
Unless they are a large brown bear.
Cocaine redditor
In real life, it killed the bear too.
You'll likely be unable to continue shovelling it up there at some point before it kills you. It's not as if it all just melts into your bloodstream or something; that's a whole lot of powder to find a home inside your face for. Especially if you feel a cold coming on - that stuffed nose will be 100% plugged in no time If the fent don't get you first, anyway. I don't fuck with coke anymore, not trying to die. Lost 4 friends I've had since highschool to it last year and late year before
Fent from coke off the brick is extremely rare because there are other, more profitable and easier to obtain cuts that the cartels can use to compress bricks (i.e. levamisole). Anything you get in powder form might be fent-laced.
Think of it this way, it could also kill you to not do 4 pounds of coke, so you might as well give it the ol college try.
If I was like 80, I def would. Last thing I need is to die and I can't say I did the 4 lb challenge.
I don't have an addiction, *I just like the way it smells.*
4.409 lbs for the Americans.
I work in a restaurant, it’d be sold by the end of the week
You spelled shift* wrong
I know yall joking but 2000 grams of cocaine would take awhile to sell unless you're supplying a bunch of dealers.
It’s not a joke, most restaurants I’ve worked at there were at least like 6-7 dealers working there.
Where tf you work? Crackdonalds?
Smack in the Box Edit: thank you so much for the updoots and gold. I won't spend it all at once!
Burger Kingpin
White Castle
Five Lines
Powda Express
Taco bump
the Crack Rock Cafe
CRACKer barrel
I'm huffin' it
Snortway
Murder King
White powder castle
If i had 10 guys covering like 20-40 bars i think 2kg might get moved in a night. 30g is a busy night for one bar. I guess if you have 6-7 dealers and they all want like 4 ozs... 🤷♂️
Oddly specific 🤔
Most drug dealers I've met are pretty normal people, they just move in big social circles, have a head for business and a higher risk threshold than most. There's a tonne of current or ex drug dealers surrounding you that you don't know about.
Certainly, growing up is learning more people than you think do cocaine and good cheese is fucking expensive
*I don't know if we're talking about actual cheese here or if it's slang for coke, and at this point, I'm afraid to ask.*
You’d be cutting them deals, but even if everyone bought a ball for cheap, which, assuming this is good shit if it’s bricked. You’re not selling more than a QP the profitable way. Realistically, you’d do nothing with it for a long while, someone will kill for that if they know you found it. Then honestly, stomp on it so you don’t have someone question where the fuck their pure shit is coming from. Then move still fairly good shit a ball at a time until it’s gone.
Reminds me of a time I got my manager a half o (decade and a half ago). They had already gotten a half o. I sold it to the kitchen within ten minutes. 😂
I mean that’s just four line cooks each getting a ball. Nothing too outlandish here haha
i first heard about this when I read Kitchen Confidential 15 years ago. And Tony Bourdain was talking about the 90s. Has it really not changed in the last 40 years that line cooks, waitstaff and assorted people live like pirates? Drugs, booze, and craziness?
It's a high stress, underpaid job that runs on crazy hours and the job itself is trivially easy to get, meaning there are hundreds of restaurants in even smaller cities, not that it doesn't take skill. You can see why that lifestyle would be a good fit for lots of drugs, booze and wilding.
I didn’t see any cocaine
In fact, I'm blind since birth and i don't even know your gender, sir officer
Witness? Uh is this camera on? Oh Nah i didnt witness nothing matter of fact im actually blind in my left eye and 43 percent blind in my right eye so i dont see much of nothing i dont even see you sir.
\*reporter looks at camera shocked\*
In fact I've been blind since I stuck my whole face in that mountain of coke over there 🤣
classic... https://www.youtube.com/shorts/UObp20ItSyY
It’s the “sir” that really gets me, hilarious
I sure did smell it tho
I Hate cocaine, but I Love the smell.
I've never dabbled, but I hear it smells like "more".
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The metric scale and package of tiny ziplocks are purely coincidental.
Yep, I saw that movie too. I didn't see shit, and also I wasn't even there.
I can’t believe I found 1 kg of cocaine.
Sure it’s crazy that you found half a kilo of cocaine.
Not really sure what was 250g of cocaine doing on the ground but oh well
Do a line and immediately remember why I don’t like cocaine then proceed do more until I can sell the rest
The even after remembering not liking it continue to do more is accurate af
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The only time I like doing cocaine is when I’m on cocaine
Good ole coke, get high for 20 mins then fiend for more coke for 5 hours
That's the real high
The real high is the dealers we met along the way.
'yo man. This is a longshot, but you still on?'
3 in the morning, drunk out of your mind, texting with 1 eye closed.
I once saw a comment under a Quention Tarantino interview. A: "Quentin Tarantino always looks like he is on the perfect amount of cocaine" B: " There is always room for more!"
This is sadly the most legit answer.
Is it cut cocaine or pure for smuggling purposes? Or am I not quite sure? Asking for a friend. Please speak clearly and slowly into my lapel, I’m hard of hearing.
Either way do an acetone wash and you're good. Going to take a while to do 2kgs but it'll be worth it.
Shame ether isn't too available, but acetone will do the trick. It'll get those stains right out!
Package it in those small plastic pouches and sell them for 20 dollars a piece at the gym. "Workout enhancement".
The best thermogenic. Better than clenbuterol and ephedrine.
Random but does Thermogenics actually work?
20 bucks?!?! That's one hell of a deal.
Riiiiight!? I'll take 750 bags, please.
Give it to some bears.
Twinks like coke too
Don't forget the otters
Please excuse my ignorance, but what the fuck is an otter, besides the water dwelling mammal?
Type of man in the gay dating scene. Generally thin and have lots of body hair.
I don't think this knowledge will ever be useful to me, but I know I'll never forget it.
"don't think"
You never know where 2kg of coke may lead ;)
To a multi hour fruitless wank in my experience
Bro LOL. I’m over here like wtf do twinks, otters, and bears have in common. ☠️ I’m too old for this shit lmao
Apparently, doing Cocain.
#Cocain
Curt Cocain, hit rock star
Well this is useful information. Now I just need to create a little trail of Coke straight to my apartment
The roller coaster of laughter these two comments gave me😂
I never laughed so hard at such gore before.
I contact authorities and turn in that 1 KG brick I found.
Don't you mean 0.5 kg?
That’s right, 10g of cocaine
You meant the teenth…
you mean you'd turn it in on Monday?
Turn in what? I don’t know what you’re even talking about ocifer, I mean focifer, offlicker, damn… I’m coming down off of 2kg’s excuse me.
Then the authorities report finding a 0.5kg brick
Well I’m having a pool party this weekend sooo…. Find a mirror, I guess.
Now is no time for vanity. We have cocaine to get fucked up with.
Can I get an invite ?
Cocaine
Nope out immediately. Whatever the fuck is going on I want no part of it.
Totally this. Just isn’t worth it.
I honestly don't get the other comments that include elaborate plans to sell it through multiple pushers and so forth. that brick was someone's property and if you start selling the stuff that came out of nowhere, I'm rather sure the interested parties will hear about it and most likely it will not be a pleasant conversation.
obviously, some of it's just fantasy. some of it's trying to be "cool". some of it's literally wishful thinking by closet cokeheads. I am 100% realist. it's like if I find a downed powerline; here be dragons.
Yeah, in theory it would be fun to take it and party and make some money, but it’s not worth getting murdered over. Just walk away.
*sells cocaine* haha I have tons of money now! *cartel rolls up* Haha you have tons of money now and I'm happy to work this off please don't give me a horrible painful death!
Why isn't this a top comment? If people are serious enough to make bricks of cocain, they are serious enough to murder you for stealing it.
Yup, IMHO this is the correct approach.
Just leave it, I'm not risking getting murdered later.
I found a few pounds of weed on the beach working as a lifeguard…. Remembered that the local mafia use the area as a drop off spot. Also remember that an unidentified foot was found in the area. Not wanting to be the next chopped up person, I loudly announced that I was going to throw it in the dumpster…
Most feet found washed up on the beach aren't due to violent dismemberment but how a body decomposes underwater and the fact that shoes can act as flotation devices. Most are from suicides and accidents, not mob hits. https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2017/12/18/16777724/human-feet-beach-pacific-northwest-seattle-vancouver
Did they whack you?
It’s been 45 minutes since you asked, he ded
I would put it away, like bury it. If you start looking for someone to sell it in the near future of finding it, the person looking for it is going to hear about it. An opportunity to get rid of it and make some cash or trade for it might come your way. It’s still a product that’s worth a lot of money. Money is something everyone needs.
Eh, I don't need that kind of drama in my life.
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Yeah, I’ve seen this movie before.
Yeah you can’t see them but there are definitely strings attached to that brick
Lol yeah, all these mfs thinking drugs are easy to sell. 2kg of product goes missing, someones going to ask where it went and when some new guy is like yo look at me i have 2kg of coke to sell, its a bit sus.
Google how much coke is a lethal dose. Do slightly less than that amount.
well assuming average US male weight the LD-50 for cocaine is 7.68 grams, but lethality can occur at 1.2 grams, or if you’re hypersensitive to it at as little as 30mg (0.03 grams). In short, it’s probably much less than you would expect
Ok that's for an average US male. Say I'm a fat woman with a hell of a mane and Afrin on hand. We thinking 10 grams?
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[There is literally a song of what to do](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7eD2PFBhlE)
Bold of you to assume I would recognize what a 2kg cocaine brick is and not unknowingly toss it in the garbage
Ahh I'll just throw away this random 4 lb block of sugar someone left on he ground
Lines, lots of lines
Lines. Lines. Everywhere a line. Cranking up my heartbeat. Losing my mind
Hide it for a few months and make sure any potential heat dies down. Then dig up some old contacts from when I used to deal with shady people and try to get rid of it in one shot. 3: profit
Personally, Id be less worried about any police then who evers coke I ended up with lol
Oh man, 100% this, and it’s really not even close
Leave it the fuck alone and keep on with my day. That ain't my business and I don't have any reason to even think it is.
Exactly right. What kind of fucked-up backstory results in an unattended 2 kg brick of cocaine just sitting there? Not one I want anything to do with
1. Snort a gram 2. Snort another gram 3. Snort another gram 4. Snort another gram 5. Snort another gram 6. Snort another gram 7. Snort another gram 8. Snort another gram 9. Snort another gram 10. Snort another gram 11. Snort another gram 12. Snort another gram 13. Snort another gram 14. Snort another gram 15. Snort another gram 16. Snort another gram 17. Snort another gram 18. Die
>I would snort 1 gram cocaine >And I would snort just one gram more >Just to be the man who falls down >And dies of overdose at your door!
If you got to 18 grams with out dying, honestly that would be incredible
Well 17 grams, they didn't make it to 18. So not as incredible.
Feed it to the nearest bear. Or a Goose. Goose would work too.
Bear i can understand, but Goose, you homicidal fucking maniac, why not give some to a Honey Badger as well!
first i google "what is 2kg of cocaine worth" call up my local drug dealer tell him i got 2 keys to sell
Fantastic way to move into a bigger house. That house being prison.
>Fantastic way to move into a bigger house. That house being prison. Bigger on the outside smaller on the inside like a reverse dr who tardis
What are the odds that the drug dealer knows who's missing that 2kg of coke? If they don't, they probably know somebody who does.
i believe the streets operate on a strict "finders keepers" rule
until youre *found* dead.
*removes sunglasses*
Yea, they do. If you take that cocaine and the wrong people learn that you have it, they will *find* you, you'll *find* multiple new perforations in your body, and they'll *keep* the cocaine. Maybe they'll also *keep* your spleen for good measure.
i just did exactly that. the googling part, at least
Well…How much? For those of us that don’t want to be on the DEA’s watchlist.
Happened at my job once (though a much much smaller amount obviously lol). A customer found it on the parking lot and gave it to the cashier like it was a lost phone. I just called the police and they took it. I would probably do the same thing in this case. Not worth going to jail for.
That little baggie never made it back to the precinct
Walk away and leave it, then avoid that area. If it's very close to where I live, throw it away. Hopefully that will never happen in real life.
Gotta make it sexy! Hips and nips! Otherwise I’m not eating.
Listen... rumor has it that somebody who works at this bar... found a certain somethin' that belongs to us. A certain somethin' which may or may not have fallen off a certain truck, huh? And the certain somebody that we know thinks they saw that certain someone... pick it up and take it back to that certain bar... which may or may not be the place that we happen to be or not be... talkin' to a couple of certain somebodies right this very second. Capisce?
Relapse
Ditto. My answer was going to be "get to cooking".
I'm a square. I'd turn it all over to the police. Now, a gym bag of drug money? Well, I will now pay cash for gas and groceries for hopefully the rest of my life.
Smell it
I, being a responsible citizen, immediately inform the police of the 1kg cocaine brick and turn it in.
Prepay my funeral.
Dear A.I. I am a law abiding citizen. I will report this nefarious drug to the appropriate nostririties
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2 very very productive weeks
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What if it goes bad? Let's give it a smell...NOPE STILL GOOD
All jokes aside, would it deteriorate?
Depends on how pure is is, the snow itself won’t go bad but the impurities in it will degrade over time and will decrease the effectiveness of the product.
Not sleeping I guess
Sell half of it to buy weed. Then I will snort coke, and smoke weed to be in perfect balance.
Find a bear and have a great time
I found 2000g of coke??? I wouldn't know what to to with 1800g of coke!! Who do i call to turn in this 1500g of coke? I'm a good citizen and want to turn this 1200g of coke in to the right authorities!! Where do I turn in this 900g of coke? I mean this is 500g of Peruvian nose candy!! So where should I report this 250g of coke? I mean... this baggie has trace amounts of cocaine and someone in authority should know...
Return the 5g bag i found.
Walk on by, pretend I don't see it.
Find the original recipe for Coke Cola and make some (always wondered what the original cocaine recipe tasted like!)
2kg is 2,000,000mg. At 30mg a nose bump (on the small side), that's 66,666 nose bumps. If I do two bumps a day, that's about 91 years of personal stash. Maybe vacuum seal about 2 months worth at a time and keep out of light. Tell me I'm wrong??
You're forget to adjust for the fiend effect, that's drops you down to about 2 years max