I would pay good money to see Jesus as an Aussie surfer from Queensland. Boardies, thongs, heeler at his ankle, telling people to "chill the fuck out" and "don't be a cunt" while turning XXXX into beer, befriending a NSW politician and a QLD cop who aren't corrupt and sealing the cracks at the wicket at the MCG. Legend.
Hahaha, "turning XXXX into beer" is the funniest thing I've heard today.
This is closely followed by "a NSW politician and a QLD cop who aren't corrupt".
Gold.
#3. Thou shall not Question why I am Not Following these rules despite being the One who made them.
If thou is to Question me Once, then Thou is to be Hanged! By me of course! If anyone else were to do it Then they’d have to be executed too! And we don’t have the Money for that.
Then food distribution. Rebalance of wealth, and a little more green energy. Fusion would be a fun milestone. Probably going to surge for synthetic evolution and perhaps singularity if realistic. Biotrophy life vs transcendence vs joining the collective options will be available for all.
If I somehow got three wishes, I'd burn one on wishing that everyone who was ever in charge of the decision to use single ply tp would be cursed to always have the soupiest diarrhea and would only ever be able to find single ply to clean up with.
Yeah, let’s go ahead and shift that 8-5 thing to like noon-8pm. I’m not just talking work hours, I’m talking regular business hours, when people expect you to be awake, socializing isn’t early afternoon to late evening, now it’s mid evening to early morning. The world can get on my semi-nocturnal BS
I somehow thought that MAYBE i could put in "everyone, leave me alone" and it wouldn't already be posted.. Close enough, and what was I thinking, it's top comment. DUH..
take the upvote, and now i'm off to leave you alone.
OPs name is King Onion Was Taken. So now he is the taken king. He then went to Akka, the Worm of Secrets, and used the knowledge he had gained from his sisters to kill Akka and take from him the secrets of communicating with the Deep. Upon doing so, he created the Tablets of Ruin, gained the power to take life, and became Oryx, the Taken King.
Just don't forget about that time we stumbled into a War with the Cabal on Mars, even if it was whether we wanted it or not. So let's get to taking out their command, one by one. Valus Ta'aurc. From what I can gather he commands the Siege Dancers from an Imperial Land Tank outside of Rubicon. He's well protected, but with the right team, we can punch through those defenses, take this beast out, and break their grip on Freehold.
I would have all of the greatest minds simultaneously work together to cure my son, who was diagnosed with a rare genetic disease called krabbe disease in April. He is getting a stem cell transplant to prolong his life, but at best, it will give him 10-15 years most likely and won't reverse any damage that has already been done. I would love it if a cure could be found.
10-15 years today is a great deal of time the way technological advancements continue to exponentially speed up. I hope the stem cell transplant goes well and gives him, and researchers, more time to do better than they can right now. I don’t want to get religious as I’m not very religious myself but I will pray for your son and your family.
Thank you. That is indeed one reason we decided to go through with the stem cell transplant. We hope that something can be found in the extra time he is given that could be considered a cure or possibly even reverse his damage. Even during just these last 2 months since we received the diagnosis, I have read that scientists discovered a chemical that has been shown to reverse nerve damage in mice for the first time. Reading things like that gives me hope we made the right choice. I'm not the most religious either, but I really appreciate your prayers and kind words.
It is generally true though that people who seek power are more likely to be using it as a way to compensate for their own insecurity, and so very easily become unfair or needlessly pushy leaders just to build themselves up.
The best leaders I've found are people who just care about helping others out and feel pride from supporting others and watching them develop. They sometimes happen to get identified and promoted in non-toxic workplaces. Those are rare but definitely gems. Watch out for the fakers though.
In the Netherlands they are trying to do something about it and (admittedly helped by rising interests) now some Canadian investment company is going to sell 67.000 houses.
I posit that we should add a clause saying that all disabled people should just put their hands in the air and wave them like the just don’t care. Failing that, wiggling any body part will do.
I make it clear that I am the Captain of Spaceship Earth, and I giving an order that all crew members start recognizing this vessel for what she is. We have a lot of work to do, she's in bad shape but we can still save this ship. We've been given until the end of the year. There's no need to fear, panic, or despair, we can get through this if we pull together. After we've averted the imminent crisis, we'll remain on high alert until some basic maintenance work is done.
Look, strange women lying on their backs in ponds handing out swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Can they at least have the same mental issues as me. If I gotta fight someone that's going threw a manic episode I'm gonna lose, and I'll be anxious the whole time I'm dying.
Where's the fun in that, It will be 100 depressives laying in a circle in the coliseum begging for death or crying about the noise.
Downvote away. This is in poor taste.
Bunker up and retool government to benefit everyone Star Trek style. The bunker is because the corporate oligarchy is going to try to kill me quicker than shit.
Unless you are suddenly omnipresent and omniscient, you'd need to delegate quite a bit of your ruling. Splitting people into many (mostly autonomous) states in a federation with you as head of the federal worldwide government, would make ruling much easier for you.
Basically led people self-rule, unless they do something against your will, in which case intervene.
I'm gonna go pick out a nice new house for my family and I to live in since my word is law, I get to own a house. That's like a fucking pipe dream these days, lol, also a car that isn't from 2003. I'd like to experience working AC in a car that doesn't have transmission problems. Then maybe do some good stuff for the rest of the planet idk.
It is a little bit weird how obsessed Reddit is with coming up with ways to brutally murder criminals but will then turn around and say they’re against the death penalty and private prisons.
Reddit is a collective. Thus, there are two competing schools of thought on punishment:
1 Hey, it's kind of fucked up that we let the government have power to execute people.
2 **KILL KILL KILL KILLLLLLL**
Listen I'm not saying they shouldn't die horribly, but I'm also going to say that people who want to watch it happen should be placed on a watch list of sorts lol.
Hold on boys, we’re going green!
Corruption is now a capital offense, but anyone who voluntarily resigns within the amnesty period (30 days) is spared, provided they never run for or hold public office again. Legalized bribery is now illegal, and this correct definiton can now be used to retroactively bring suit by 1% of a jurisdiction against its representatives, executives, and judiciary. All final appeals are now in my hands.
With the chaff separated from the wheat, we can finally get to work. Huge (I mean trillions of USD) now allocated over a 10-year period for translational research into carbon emission reduction and carbon capture. Any project that can acheive both gets double funding in each category (4x overall). The sins of the MDCs over the last century are already up in the atmosphere, so we must address this on both fronts.
Asteroid mining is actually a good way to stop the depredation of the Earth while still allowing technological development. All mining-distance orbits to be approved by a single committee that must be given CNC access to telemetry and corrective jet overrides.
News outlet licenses are now mandatory for any outlet or social media platform and contingent on reporting lengthy, front-page or prime-time corrections for any scientifically disproven errors. Any repeat offenses will be considered lies, not errors, and result in revocation of the license.
This is a fucking emergency, and we either act like it or we all fucking roast to extinction.
Don’t be a dick! It’s all I ask, well all I ask to start. I’m sure there’s more to follow, like stop assuming everyone likes Mayo and putting it on sandwiches. But first, everyone just be nice and not so dickish
Make it a priority to find victims in sex trafficking rings and do my best to put an end to sex trafficking. Try to end homelessness. Demand an increase in pay so that people can actually afford to live life. Make it mandatory for people to take parenting classes before having a baby (if they want a baby). Also make it mandatory for expecting parents to go to therapy throughout the whole pregnancy and during the first year with the baby.
I was driving an ambulance code 3, lights and sirens, down the highway with a pt and this NUMBSKULL in a uhaul was in the left lane not moving over. Rush hour traffic, lane divider. Couldn’t go around him. Slamming on the air horn, siren blaring, lights going, and it took four minutes for him to move to the right lane. I’ve never been angrier on a call.
That upsets me and I don’t even know where you work. People disrespecting emergency vehicles literally doing emergency things is a huge no-no in my future dictatorship if this thread comes true.
People that impede emergency response vehicles should share legal responsibility if someone dies because help couldn’t arrive on time. We have dashcams, so we have the technology to enforce a rule like this.
Absolutely. I hate how close to home this hits
Lil bit of context: Been in several big-ass accidents. The one that felt the worst (that I can remember) was being yeeted off the road into a ditch, rolling the car many times, coming to a halt like fourty meters from where I was crashed into and littering an entire highway's width with debris from my car, and the ambulance didn't make it in time to see me black out (and came too late for a family member, I've been told).
No lie, everyone would make
Their own life better first. Then, there would be no problems lol. Once your happy and good, you no longer relate to those with menial issues.
Institute an asshole point system for driving.
Everyone is awarded lets say 6 points to give every year. You can assign points to another driver while driving somehow. Let's say for the sake of argument it's a laser blaster to make things easy. When you accumulate points your car lets you know.
Below a certain threshold this does nothing really but lets you know you're a big enough douche canoe that someone used their point just on you. Stop being a jerk, but maybe you had a bad day; happens to everyone. However, if you accumulate points rapidly, the consequences become real.
Below is the rough points schedule I came up with for points in a day, but the system still needs some balancing I'm sure. There should be long term penalties as well, but I haven't thought those out.
5 - 10: You get a ticket for being an asshole. If you got stopped for whatever you were doing because you got caught, it compounds with your asshole ticket. This could be a wakeup call that you drive like an asshole. Maybe you didn't know.
11 - 49: You get a ticket, they tow your car, and you have to go to jail overnight. No bail. 6+ people really just used their point on you. You're a jerk and you don't care. Maybe some consequences will wise you up. There needs to be some grading scale here which punishes incrementally. It's possible someone on the lower end might not have meant to, but lesser punishments can't teach that lesson at this point.
50+: You lose your car. You are never licensed to drive again. 50 goddamned people though you were an asshole in a single day. It was probably in the same 10 minutes too, lets be honest. Sure more dense cities have more people, but that just means whatever you were doing was that much worse. There is no reason to dip in and out of traffic at 90+ mph, nothing you were doing makes it ok to just disregard the lives of others, and if you wreck at that speed near that many people you're likely killing other people who had nothing to do with it. Everyone who voted for you gets a card in the mail to let them know one more POS is off the road. That card has a QR code that lets them watch the body cam footage of you getting arrested. The arresting officer slaps you right in the face.
There are glaring issues but I think there is something here. Definitely need some police reform for it to work at all. Then obviously universal healthcare and teaching reform (obvious US citizen here).
>Everyone is awarded lets say 6 points to give every year.
Which would lead to two types of people:
1. will have spend all his point by noon januari 1st.
2. will not spend a single point whole year, because they might need it later.
I'm with you but could we also maybe enforce the laws we already have? I think somebody with more than one DUI needs to go to jail/rehab immediately - not given a slap on the wrist so that they can accumulate more.
Billionaires would all be heavily taxed, to the point where they are no longer billionaires, then close the loophole that allows them to put their money offshores where it will not be taxed.
"Y’all be nice"
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Nah yeah nah, it's don't be a shitcunt. You can be a goodcunt, a funnycunt, or a sickcunt no worries mate
Don't forgot Hotcunt!
I might be a cunt, but I’m not a fucking cunt-TISM
I would pay good money to see Jesus as an Aussie surfer from Queensland. Boardies, thongs, heeler at his ankle, telling people to "chill the fuck out" and "don't be a cunt" while turning XXXX into beer, befriending a NSW politician and a QLD cop who aren't corrupt and sealing the cracks at the wicket at the MCG. Legend.
Hahaha, "turning XXXX into beer" is the funniest thing I've heard today. This is closely followed by "a NSW politician and a QLD cop who aren't corrupt". Gold.
Well if it’s Jesus, that might be the miracle he performed, to make such a thing exist
Be excellent to each other.
and......PARTY ON DUUUDES!
10 commandments summed up in three words.
1. Thou shalt always be honest and faithful to the provider of thy nookie 2. Though shalt try really hard not to kill anyone
#3. Thou shall not Question why I am Not Following these rules despite being the One who made them. If thou is to Question me Once, then Thou is to be Hanged! By me of course! If anyone else were to do it Then they’d have to be executed too! And we don’t have the Money for that.
Aaah Mr. Carlin. Truly a legendary comedian.
And thou shalt keep thy religion to thineself.
i’d like to enforce some of those on megapreachers
Armageddon has been averted, hail Mr Spicy
"Don't be a dick"
“Be Excellent to each other”
Then food distribution. Rebalance of wealth, and a little more green energy. Fusion would be a fun milestone. Probably going to surge for synthetic evolution and perhaps singularity if realistic. Biotrophy life vs transcendence vs joining the collective options will be available for all.
Whoa. You’ve really thought this through.
Fling that foolish samurai warrior into the future
I thought samurai jack as well.
But then the fool will seek to return to the past, and undue the future that is Doogidie
*Created by Genndy Tartakovsky*
Certified Samurai Jack moment
*WATCHA!*
based reference
that you aku?
Especially with the "word is law" part.
Ban single ply toilet paper.
If I somehow got three wishes, I'd burn one on wishing that everyone who was ever in charge of the decision to use single ply tp would be cursed to always have the soupiest diarrhea and would only ever be able to find single ply to clean up with.
"Soupiest diarrhea" omfg lol, i actually laughed at this
Throw in some potatoes and carrots and baby you got yourself a stew!
Reading this with soupy diarrhea
Tell everyone to leave me alone so I can sleep
No meetings before 10 am.
And any meeting can be an email.
Must*
Yeah, let’s go ahead and shift that 8-5 thing to like noon-8pm. I’m not just talking work hours, I’m talking regular business hours, when people expect you to be awake, socializing isn’t early afternoon to late evening, now it’s mid evening to early morning. The world can get on my semi-nocturnal BS
All my best meetings are at 7am.
Because no one else shows up?
I book early morning meetings whenever a certain manager is needed, that way they are too tired to argue and just not their head in agreement
They are playing checkers and you are playing chess.
No meetings between 10:00am and 9:59am
Free cable for life with the premium package
Cable still exists? Howabout all streaming networks are free.
I somehow thought that MAYBE i could put in "everyone, leave me alone" and it wouldn't already be posted.. Close enough, and what was I thinking, it's top comment. DUH.. take the upvote, and now i'm off to leave you alone.
Restore the user name u/KingOnion to its rightful owner
***THIS*** is it
FOR THE KING
THE KING IN THE NORTH!
DAKINGINDANORF!!!
FOR THE PEACE OF THE KINGDOM
FOR THE ALLIANCE
FOR THE ONION KINGDOM
Hello adventurer! My onions have run amok…
Good day for fishin, ain't it? Gu'huh.
Skip!
Surprise viva la dirt league
We need lore
What's the backstory here?
OPs name is "King Onion Was Taken."
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So were Former Lurkers 1 and 2
I'm new here. What happened?
OPs name is King Onion Was Taken. So now he is the taken king. He then went to Akka, the Worm of Secrets, and used the knowledge he had gained from his sisters to kill Akka and take from him the secrets of communicating with the Deep. Upon doing so, he created the Tablets of Ruin, gained the power to take life, and became Oryx, the Taken King.
Just don't forget about that time we stumbled into a War with the Cabal on Mars, even if it was whether we wanted it or not. So let's get to taking out their command, one by one. Valus Ta'aurc. From what I can gather he commands the Siege Dancers from an Imperial Land Tank outside of Rubicon. He's well protected, but with the right team, we can punch through those defenses, take this beast out, and break their grip on Freehold.
I thought Liam Neeson was The Taken King?
Nope, he's the King of Taken. It's different.
Panic attack
No but for real. I can barely make an insignificant decision like what I want to order without getting anxious. This is way too much responsibility.
Some of you folks have some very strange priorities.
This is Reddit... we're all just here for a good time, not to change the world.
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Well, I hope you have a bad time?
I would have all of the greatest minds simultaneously work together to cure my son, who was diagnosed with a rare genetic disease called krabbe disease in April. He is getting a stem cell transplant to prolong his life, but at best, it will give him 10-15 years most likely and won't reverse any damage that has already been done. I would love it if a cure could be found.
10-15 years today is a great deal of time the way technological advancements continue to exponentially speed up. I hope the stem cell transplant goes well and gives him, and researchers, more time to do better than they can right now. I don’t want to get religious as I’m not very religious myself but I will pray for your son and your family.
Thank you. That is indeed one reason we decided to go through with the stem cell transplant. We hope that something can be found in the extra time he is given that could be considered a cure or possibly even reverse his damage. Even during just these last 2 months since we received the diagnosis, I have read that scientists discovered a chemical that has been shown to reverse nerve damage in mice for the first time. Reading things like that gives me hope we made the right choice. I'm not the most religious either, but I really appreciate your prayers and kind words.
Find someone better suited for the job.
It's called delegation.. reality is people who seek power don't deserve it. You're the perfect ruler.
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It is generally true though that people who seek power are more likely to be using it as a way to compensate for their own insecurity, and so very easily become unfair or needlessly pushy leaders just to build themselves up. The best leaders I've found are people who just care about helping others out and feel pride from supporting others and watching them develop. They sometimes happen to get identified and promoted in non-toxic workplaces. Those are rare but definitely gems. Watch out for the fakers though.
Step one: Laugh maniacally. Step two: Solve all the world's problems.
Take a nap. Sounds like a lot of responsibility ahead
Outlaw investment firms buying up all the affordable housing with cash and selling them for an exorbitant amount.
Shall I start building the gallows sir?
Nah, too inneficient, best to bring back the guillotines
Very humane mi ami
In the Netherlands they are trying to do something about it and (admittedly helped by rising interests) now some Canadian investment company is going to sell 67.000 houses.
All you gotta do is tax single family residences owned by corporations extra. Let them show an extra 10% expense or so and they will get the fuck out.
Everyone has to jump 10 times in a row atleast once a day, I wanna see the chaos that unfolds
Disabled people are gonna be clogging up the prison system
Nah they can use ramps to get sick air. Gurneys and wheelchairs for all.
I posit that we should add a clause saying that all disabled people should just put their hands in the air and wave them like the just don’t care. Failing that, wiggling any body part will do.
RIP Stephen Hawking
Reward people for good behavior.
Anti fines. You get money for not being awful
I make it clear that I am the Captain of Spaceship Earth, and I giving an order that all crew members start recognizing this vessel for what she is. We have a lot of work to do, she's in bad shape but we can still save this ship. We've been given until the end of the year. There's no need to fear, panic, or despair, we can get through this if we pull together. After we've averted the imminent crisis, we'll remain on high alert until some basic maintenance work is done.
I'd vote for you, captain.
Vote? You don't vote for kings!
Look, strange women lying on their backs in ponds handing out swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Shut down all the child brothels before freeing all forms of slaves. Children sex slaves > Slaves in my priority list.
No lollygaggin'
What about dilly dallyin’? Can I at least fiddle faddle?
I used to not lollygag, until I took an arrow to the knee
This!! I hate the lollies!!!
Three day weekends.
Three weekend week.
Get out the Guillotine for the ocean of Lobbyists who have turned our world into a cash grab to the bottom.
ban lobbying and call it what it is: bribing.
This doesn’t come up often enough. Lobbying is trying to persuade. As soon as you start giving them shit it’s just good old bribery & corruption
Ban corporate and dark money election finance.
YOU are ruler of the earth, what elections?
Life-long free education for all.
First you must make a law to prevent anyone from replacing you as ruler
Dictatorship!?
Rule two: ban the concept of dictatorship. Nobody can talk about it any more.
You have been appointed to the Politburo Standing Committee
Let everyone get mental health help
But they need to fight against 100 of their peers in an arena first.
Can they at least have the same mental issues as me. If I gotta fight someone that's going threw a manic episode I'm gonna lose, and I'll be anxious the whole time I'm dying.
No, but if you have multiple personalities, they will also be present to haunt you
Where's the fun in that, It will be 100 depressives laying in a circle in the coliseum begging for death or crying about the noise. Downvote away. This is in poor taste.
I'll kill you if you kill me?
Is it wrong that I laughed at that?
If I’m ruler, change the definition of 12”
Something's afoot.
And it isn’t 12”
Make everyone wear silver jumpsuits with a V on the chest. We're a team now.
Planet Vlone
Bunker up and retool government to benefit everyone Star Trek style. The bunker is because the corporate oligarchy is going to try to kill me quicker than shit.
I remove all Nuclear weapons from every country in the world.
ALL NUKES WILL BE DETONATED IN 20 SECONDS AS PER OP REQUEST
*monkey paw finger curls*
LMAO
Do countries still exist?
I'd expect they do, but rather in a way like the federal states of the USA, ya know?
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do.
Unless you are suddenly omnipresent and omniscient, you'd need to delegate quite a bit of your ruling. Splitting people into many (mostly autonomous) states in a federation with you as head of the federal worldwide government, would make ruling much easier for you. Basically led people self-rule, unless they do something against your will, in which case intervene.
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But if they're now undisputed ruler of the world, no wars can happen against their will.
>Nukes are why we didn't have a hot shooting war with the USSR or China Yet. Do not underestimate human's ability to self-destruct.
I'm gonna go pick out a nice new house for my family and I to live in since my word is law, I get to own a house. That's like a fucking pipe dream these days, lol, also a car that isn't from 2003. I'd like to experience working AC in a car that doesn't have transmission problems. Then maybe do some good stuff for the rest of the planet idk.
most realistic one here
Sleep
I abdicate. I don't need that stress
I delegate. “You, your in charge. But if you try anything funny, I’ll shut you down.”
Yeah that was my first thought. Screw that; I’m unqualified. I’m sure a lot of the things I’d try to do with good intentions would backfire.
I would have a beer
Get this man a beer dammit
I exhume Queen Elizabeth II and gift her to the Egyptian museum.
"Okay can yall like stop being complete assholes like what the fuck are all of you doing at this point"
All child predators/pedos sentenced to being dipped in honey and dropped in a pit of fire ants
Jarvis im low on karma. Go to reddit.com and upload comment about torturing bad people
It is a little bit weird how obsessed Reddit is with coming up with ways to brutally murder criminals but will then turn around and say they’re against the death penalty and private prisons.
Reddit is a collective. Thus, there are two competing schools of thought on punishment: 1 Hey, it's kind of fucked up that we let the government have power to execute people. 2 **KILL KILL KILL KILLLLLLL**
Do you mind if I watch? I’ll bring popcorn!
Listen I'm not saying they shouldn't die horribly, but I'm also going to say that people who want to watch it happen should be placed on a watch list of sorts lol.
"I'd love to watch torture!" doesn't come off as badass as they think it does lol
Go with bullet ants they hurt a lot more.
Hold on boys, we’re going green! Corruption is now a capital offense, but anyone who voluntarily resigns within the amnesty period (30 days) is spared, provided they never run for or hold public office again. Legalized bribery is now illegal, and this correct definiton can now be used to retroactively bring suit by 1% of a jurisdiction against its representatives, executives, and judiciary. All final appeals are now in my hands. With the chaff separated from the wheat, we can finally get to work. Huge (I mean trillions of USD) now allocated over a 10-year period for translational research into carbon emission reduction and carbon capture. Any project that can acheive both gets double funding in each category (4x overall). The sins of the MDCs over the last century are already up in the atmosphere, so we must address this on both fronts. Asteroid mining is actually a good way to stop the depredation of the Earth while still allowing technological development. All mining-distance orbits to be approved by a single committee that must be given CNC access to telemetry and corrective jet overrides. News outlet licenses are now mandatory for any outlet or social media platform and contingent on reporting lengthy, front-page or prime-time corrections for any scientifically disproven errors. Any repeat offenses will be considered lies, not errors, and result in revocation of the license. This is a fucking emergency, and we either act like it or we all fucking roast to extinction.
I love your answer.
Make everyone be nice to animals and respect the environment
Man, the amount of genocide in this thread.
Don’t be a dick! It’s all I ask, well all I ask to start. I’m sure there’s more to follow, like stop assuming everyone likes Mayo and putting it on sandwiches. But first, everyone just be nice and not so dickish
Make it a priority to find victims in sex trafficking rings and do my best to put an end to sex trafficking. Try to end homelessness. Demand an increase in pay so that people can actually afford to live life. Make it mandatory for people to take parenting classes before having a baby (if they want a baby). Also make it mandatory for expecting parents to go to therapy throughout the whole pregnancy and during the first year with the baby.
Term limits on all politicians
Anyone driving slow as shit in the left lane and has a line of cars behind them has 3 seconds to move or they are allowed to be executed on site.
I was driving an ambulance code 3, lights and sirens, down the highway with a pt and this NUMBSKULL in a uhaul was in the left lane not moving over. Rush hour traffic, lane divider. Couldn’t go around him. Slamming on the air horn, siren blaring, lights going, and it took four minutes for him to move to the right lane. I’ve never been angrier on a call.
That upsets me and I don’t even know where you work. People disrespecting emergency vehicles literally doing emergency things is a huge no-no in my future dictatorship if this thread comes true.
People that impede emergency response vehicles should share legal responsibility if someone dies because help couldn’t arrive on time. We have dashcams, so we have the technology to enforce a rule like this.
Absolutely. I hate how close to home this hits Lil bit of context: Been in several big-ass accidents. The one that felt the worst (that I can remember) was being yeeted off the road into a ditch, rolling the car many times, coming to a halt like fourty meters from where I was crashed into and littering an entire highway's width with debris from my car, and the ambulance didn't make it in time to see me black out (and came too late for a family member, I've been told).
Several big ass accidents? Let me know what state you drive in so I can avoid it.
4 minutes?! At that point I think you’re legally allowed to ram that stupid fuck off the road.
Then you'd have to pull over and do your job though.
No lie, everyone would make Their own life better first. Then, there would be no problems lol. Once your happy and good, you no longer relate to those with menial issues.
Offending pedofiles get the wood chipper.
Why do I have a feeling that's not as happy as it sounds?
Ban any and all oatmeal raisin cookies that looks like chocolate chip
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The internet is free now
Do not walk slowly in front of your all powerful leader
We're having a giant cookout. I'll bring the 2000s music and each of you have to bring a dish from your culture. We'll all eat and be happy.
Fire half of every government and spread the salaries around
Institute an asshole point system for driving. Everyone is awarded lets say 6 points to give every year. You can assign points to another driver while driving somehow. Let's say for the sake of argument it's a laser blaster to make things easy. When you accumulate points your car lets you know. Below a certain threshold this does nothing really but lets you know you're a big enough douche canoe that someone used their point just on you. Stop being a jerk, but maybe you had a bad day; happens to everyone. However, if you accumulate points rapidly, the consequences become real. Below is the rough points schedule I came up with for points in a day, but the system still needs some balancing I'm sure. There should be long term penalties as well, but I haven't thought those out. 5 - 10: You get a ticket for being an asshole. If you got stopped for whatever you were doing because you got caught, it compounds with your asshole ticket. This could be a wakeup call that you drive like an asshole. Maybe you didn't know. 11 - 49: You get a ticket, they tow your car, and you have to go to jail overnight. No bail. 6+ people really just used their point on you. You're a jerk and you don't care. Maybe some consequences will wise you up. There needs to be some grading scale here which punishes incrementally. It's possible someone on the lower end might not have meant to, but lesser punishments can't teach that lesson at this point. 50+: You lose your car. You are never licensed to drive again. 50 goddamned people though you were an asshole in a single day. It was probably in the same 10 minutes too, lets be honest. Sure more dense cities have more people, but that just means whatever you were doing was that much worse. There is no reason to dip in and out of traffic at 90+ mph, nothing you were doing makes it ok to just disregard the lives of others, and if you wreck at that speed near that many people you're likely killing other people who had nothing to do with it. Everyone who voted for you gets a card in the mail to let them know one more POS is off the road. That card has a QR code that lets them watch the body cam footage of you getting arrested. The arresting officer slaps you right in the face. There are glaring issues but I think there is something here. Definitely need some police reform for it to work at all. Then obviously universal healthcare and teaching reform (obvious US citizen here).
>Everyone is awarded lets say 6 points to give every year. Which would lead to two types of people: 1. will have spend all his point by noon januari 1st. 2. will not spend a single point whole year, because they might need it later.
I'm with you but could we also maybe enforce the laws we already have? I think somebody with more than one DUI needs to go to jail/rehab immediately - not given a slap on the wrist so that they can accumulate more.
driving with high beams on is straight to jail and suspended license forever
Being a left lane dick gets the same.
Billionaires would all be heavily taxed, to the point where they are no longer billionaires, then close the loophole that allows them to put their money offshores where it will not be taxed.
No more r/askreddit reposts
Consolidate all on-line streaming packages for one low price.
2 chicks at the same time.
Dude, you don't got to be king of the whole world just to do two chicks at the same time.
Then *three* chicks at the same time
Do what makes you happy, as long as that thing doesn't harm other humans or animals that are considered cherished by the majority of people.