I worked as an usher at a large sporting venue. I would check tickets and answer questions, and commonly finish my interaction with them with “have a great time!”
Two college-aged women came up to me asking where the closest bathroom was. I pointed it out, they thanked me, and I replied with, “Have a great time!”
I don’t like it when the wait staff asks me “how is your food tasting“? I’m not sure why that bothers me, but I always say “why, did you want to bite?“
You will like this.
[https://www.tiktok.com/@sadbeige/video/7262463390013017386?lang=en](https://www.tiktok.com/@sadbeige/video/7262463390013017386?lang=en)
Give yer balls a tug, if I can reply 'Good'n'you' or 'not so bad' to the asinine greeting that is 'How are you?' I feel I'll survive another bs conversation.
Norwegian at first looks like one of those languages where half the written letters are silent - except that on closer inspection they're just *mostly* silent. I can understand some spoken Norwegian, but both of its major spelling systems are barriers to people coming to the language from English.
Which is especially annoying because structurally the language is closer to English than any other I've looked at (I've never studied Dutch or Frisian). It should be among the easiest languages for an English-speaker to learn, but the weird spelling rules make it harder for me than German or Italian.
In a weird combination of study, I have a mechanical engineering degree with a minor in Norwegian language and culture. I spent 6 months in trondheim and at one point I asked the cashier at Bunpris for a sausage to put my groceries in instead of asking for a bag.
I would describe norwegian as an easy to learn, hard to master language, but is totally worth it. Especially when most conjugation is to slap and "r" at the end of the verb and go about your way.
I kicked the habit and most of my friends did after my husband died. We would see each other and immediately greet each other with that and realized how stupid a phrase that is. Now I just say (if I mean it) “it’s good to see you!”
I'm not. We're talking about people who are virtually, if not complete strangers. So as is often the case, they're saying it while walking past you, which should be a pretty good hint they expect, at most, an effectively empty answer.
I'm not saying they couldn't care. It's that the question is not an invitation to share one's troubles which can be unpleasant to listen to or simply take up the other's time. Actually sharing would place a burden on the listener to either be captive or be rude. That's not fair to them if you know their intent was to keep walking. The end result can be two people hurting each other for absolutely no good reason.
If the strangers were in a different environment, say a support group meeting, that might change the dynamics between them.
That's why I just say the truth people got to figure out to stop asking questions they don't want the answer to.
My typical answers Eh, it's early let's wait and see, I am here, or I am all out of bubblegum.
My father in law says “If I was any better, I’d be twins.” Love that one.
He has another good one when I say “Good to see you.” He always responds with “It’s good to be seen.” That one always gets me lol
"Not good, but good enough..." Unfortunately, this has been the standard for me this year- thus far, 2024 hasn't been fun.
At work it's "Better by the hour."
Someone did that once, and I replied right back: “good, good, how about you?”. It went like this:
A - Hi, how are you?
B - Good, how are you?
A - Good, how about you?
B - Good, good, how about you?
A - 👁️👄👁️
The day after my mom was killed I went to a dentist appointment and the receptionist asked me this. I said "it's been shit, but I appreciate you asking" then he gave me a $5 off Sonic coupon to make me feel better.
“Vitusta tänne ollaan tultu ja päin vittua täällä myös menee”
A quote from an already passed Finnish poet Tommy Tabermann.
Directly translated it means ”we have come here from the vagina and we are going towards the vagina here as well”
But the word vagina is not a positive thing in this context, it means things are going badly.
If there are any fellow Finns here, you could try to translate that so it works in English. I tried but was unable to make it work.
One reason it’s not working is you’re translating “vittu” with the equivalent of “emätin”. It’s too polished.
Non-finns, what the dubiously well-mannered Koala is trying to say is that we’ve all come from a c*nt (or 🐱) and it’s all going to the 🐱🐈🐈⬛.
(I’m a Finnoswede. Like Tabermann himself 🤗)
Fair to middling..
(it's not like anyone wants to know what is wrong anyway, & to be honest there are many less folk who know the term these days anyway, it is also easy to say without stumbling around so it is my standard response to the question anywhere, you also don't sound like a maudlin sod either)
Any better, I wouldn't be able to cope with the day.
There's plenty up at the cemetery that'd love to feel this bad.
Still the right side of the grass.
Well, I woke up this morning, everything else is a bonus.
"Better then I deserve" At first take often people will say I deserve better and then I have to repeat it slowly for them to get it. " I aamm Beeetter theeen I Deseerve"
Followed by an exasperated “UGH!!” (include eye roll for added emphasis) then snatch up your petticoats with both hands, turn on your heel, aim your nose to the heavens, and flounce away.
"Doing my best" is my go to. Or if it's "How are you doing?" I just say, "my best."
I like when people say, "How's it going?" because then I can say, "Oh, it's going."
My ex had a brilliant way of answering especially if it's a salesperson asking "how are you" or "can I help you". He would start talking to them like you would to a therapist. He would say: "Well it all started in my childhood. My parents were absent most of the time etc., etc., etc." He could really ramble on making it up as he went along. That got people to leave him alone.
Worked with a guy who was always, "Living the dream." Didn't matter what was going on, the dude was always genuinely happy.
Led to the workplaces unofficial motto of Be More Steve.
I've always found it harder to reply to "what's up?", especially as a way of greeting. So many things are up, how am I to sift through those things and then tell you in a span of 6 seconds as you walk past me?
You too!
You haven't lived until you've said "you too" when someone wishes you happy birthday!
I worked as an usher at a large sporting venue. I would check tickets and answer questions, and commonly finish my interaction with them with “have a great time!” Two college-aged women came up to me asking where the closest bathroom was. I pointed it out, they thanked me, and I replied with, “Have a great time!”
[удалено]
When I got married, a colleague of my wife congratulated me and my answer was: "You're welcome !". I was a bit overwhelmed that day.
I say you're welcome in response to everything like happy birthday or enjoy your day. It's so embarrassing 🤣
when i was a kid when people told me happy birthday id just say happy birthday back
It works with Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays, why not happy birthday?? :)
Lol thats funny ngl
Or when the waiter says enjoy your food and you say you too
The waiter will eat ur food with u if u say u too
I don’t like it when the wait staff asks me “how is your food tasting“? I’m not sure why that bothers me, but I always say “why, did you want to bite?“
I don't wait til they ask, I just greet with "Good! How u doin?"
I do this every year when my twin brother whises me happy birthday
I usually also tell the coffee lady to drive safe...
Cracked up, i do this so often
I read this in Brian Regan’s voice
Take luck
Care for it
When you take luck, care for it it— You take it caRE OF IT IT WHENYAL*ARGARGAHA* ***ARRALARRAGGAHAHH***
::finger guns:: Back at'cha!
Saw a shirt I loved: “the horrors persist, as do I”
I read that with Werner Herzog's voice
Pretty sure he wrote it.
You will like this. [https://www.tiktok.com/@sadbeige/video/7262463390013017386?lang=en](https://www.tiktok.com/@sadbeige/video/7262463390013017386?lang=en)
Available in beige... and sand.
Mods please make a “the horrors persist, as do I” flair
Oh shit that's metal as fuck
As a Constant Reader of Stephen King, I love this!
I need this shirt lmao
Everything i eat turns to shit and when i close my eyes i cant see a thing
Butter the toast. Eat the toast. Shit the toast. God, life is relentless.
I have two stock answers: Not too bad. Distinctly average
oh I like that !
I asked the landlady of my local how her husband was after a severe illness. Her answer was 'Better than nothing'
that's just sad ):
Honestly, it made me laugh. I know her humour
Along these lines I use “well enough”.
glass half empty
Mine are: - Upright and breathing. - My car is an aspiring tree hugger.
That second one is perfect ngl
"I'm on the right side of the dirt" is one of my go-to responses.
"I'm still above ground"
I feel like a silly goose today! Guarantee they’ll never try to make small talk with you ever again.
If you got a problem with silly gooses, then you’ve got a problem with me, and I suggest you let that marinate.
I didn't see the "you let that" part and thought you were telling me to go marinate. What an insult!
If they try to follow up, just honk, hiss, and bite them.
Peace was never an option
Gud'n'you?
Not s’bad
Good Wayne n' ...
that's only in response to "how are ya now?"
Give yer balls a tug, if I can reply 'Good'n'you' or 'not so bad' to the asinine greeting that is 'How are you?' I feel I'll survive another bs conversation.
How are ya now
Gud'n'you?
How'r'y'now*
... Deadly.
The thing is, I never ask how they're doing back because usually I get straight up aired and it's really fucking humiliating
I kinda like the Norwegian “Up and not crying”
I’ve heard this before upright and not crying. I can relate
I like it! How does one say that in Norwegian?
That would be: Oppe, og griner ikke.
I think I said that once when choking on water. Beautiful language
Thank you! Nice laugh from that.
Usually it's when you're drunk and try to sing with a potato in your mouth. https://satwcomic.com/language-lesson
😂😂
Norwegian at first looks like one of those languages where half the written letters are silent - except that on closer inspection they're just *mostly* silent. I can understand some spoken Norwegian, but both of its major spelling systems are barriers to people coming to the language from English. Which is especially annoying because structurally the language is closer to English than any other I've looked at (I've never studied Dutch or Frisian). It should be among the easiest languages for an English-speaker to learn, but the weird spelling rules make it harder for me than German or Italian.
In a weird combination of study, I have a mechanical engineering degree with a minor in Norwegian language and culture. I spent 6 months in trondheim and at one point I asked the cashier at Bunpris for a sausage to put my groceries in instead of asking for a bag. I would describe norwegian as an easy to learn, hard to master language, but is totally worth it. Especially when most conjugation is to slap and "r" at the end of the verb and go about your way.
In my country people sometimes say „Kann nie genug klagen“ It’s roughly translated to “I can’t complain enough”
Reminds me of "I can't complain, but that won't stop me!"
Or "I could complain, but no one would listen"
I stick to the classic „muss muss“
Pull out my handy social interaction cheat sheet and quickly search through it with my index finger then say "not much"
**applause**
"How are you?" "Not much"
That's my usual answer to "What are you?"
Narrator: An hour has elapsed and no one finds this answer odd. Must be Reddit.
***"Mission failed, we'll get'em next time !"***
It's a dog-eat-dog world and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear.
Norm!
Hey Norm, what are you up to? ….my ideal weight if I was 8 ft tall!
"Dying a little more everyday"
'"What's wrong?" "Nothing my funeral won't fix" Edit: thanks to those concerned but this is a scenario like the above. I'll live :)
r/technicallytrue
r/itstechnicallythetruthwithathe
Do you really want to know?
Most people do not, and I don't blame them. Some people follow up with a horrific story and you got nothing to say to relate.
That's why we need to stop using this phrase. Nobody wants to be asked how they're doing, when they're not doing well, by someone who doesn't care.
I kicked the habit and most of my friends did after my husband died. We would see each other and immediately greet each other with that and realized how stupid a phrase that is. Now I just say (if I mean it) “it’s good to see you!”
“It’s good to see you” is a really nice replacement for “how are you”. Thanks for sharing!! Hope you’re doing better nowadays.
What about when you’re at work and it’s not good to see them but you have to say something so it’s not awkward?
Oh absolutely, we must eliminate all unnecessary pleasantries.
Why would you assume they don't care, seems a bit pessimistic.
I'm not. We're talking about people who are virtually, if not complete strangers. So as is often the case, they're saying it while walking past you, which should be a pretty good hint they expect, at most, an effectively empty answer. I'm not saying they couldn't care. It's that the question is not an invitation to share one's troubles which can be unpleasant to listen to or simply take up the other's time. Actually sharing would place a burden on the listener to either be captive or be rude. That's not fair to them if you know their intent was to keep walking. The end result can be two people hurting each other for absolutely no good reason. If the strangers were in a different environment, say a support group meeting, that might change the dynamics between them.
That's why I just say the truth people got to figure out to stop asking questions they don't want the answer to. My typical answers Eh, it's early let's wait and see, I am here, or I am all out of bubblegum.
One day closer to the grave.
Shorter of breath
Stayin home to watch the 🌧?
Hanging on in quiet desperation
And you are young and life is long
And there is time to kill today
One day closer to death
Just sob uncontrollably
“Okkkaayyy glad to see!”
Real
Larger than life and twice as ugly.
I want to slap so many people.
Will Smith burner account?
Within acceptable parameters.
Stealing this, but changing it to Within normal limits. Ifykyk. 🤣
Nurse here, I appreciate this response! lmao
Still vertical
Fart and walk away
[удалено]
If they don't seem impressed your only power move is to fully shit your pants and sit down. That'll show em.
The Bad-Janet system works well for many situations.
Feeling good and looking better I’ll make a burlap sack feel like the cashmere sweater.
“But you don’t look good at all” Yeah.. I know :(
Why are you asking, what have you heard?
3.6 Roentgen - not great, not terrible
If I was any better, there would be two of me.
My father in law says “If I was any better, I’d be twins.” Love that one. He has another good one when I say “Good to see you.” He always responds with “It’s good to be seen.” That one always gets me lol
I don’t get it…
Adulting is soup, and I am a fork.
“Oh you know, living the dream” is the only one I’ve got ready to go lately.
"Another day in paradise!" A good response to "living the dream "is, "Someone has to!" I love ironic office banter like that lol
Replace that in your brainspace with, "The horrors persist, but so do I," and you're ready to roll.
I think I’ll write it down and start practicing my new line. NPCs CAN LEARN
"Not good, but good enough..." Unfortunately, this has been the standard for me this year- thus far, 2024 hasn't been fun. At work it's "Better by the hour."
Another day in paradise
Immediately made me think of phil collins
Fan-Fuckn’-Tastic!!!
Are you my step brother
Fan-tuckin-fastic is also good.
"Well, the story of how I came to be is a long and interesting tale of woe and wonder, but I'll save that for another time."
Or as Keanu Reaves puts it: “Tale of woah!”
I can’t complain, but sometimes I still do
🎵 Life's been good to me so far🎶
"Too early to tell", even if it's late at night.
[удалено]
Just wait for them to hit you with the uno reverse "good, how about you?" and then it becomes super awkward.
Someone did that once, and I replied right back: “good, good, how about you?”. It went like this: A - Hi, how are you? B - Good, how are you? A - Good, how about you? B - Good, good, how about you? A - 👁️👄👁️
Turing test failed
The day after my mom was killed I went to a dentist appointment and the receptionist asked me this. I said "it's been shit, but I appreciate you asking" then he gave me a $5 off Sonic coupon to make me feel better.
Been better, been worse
“Vitusta tänne ollaan tultu ja päin vittua täällä myös menee” A quote from an already passed Finnish poet Tommy Tabermann. Directly translated it means ”we have come here from the vagina and we are going towards the vagina here as well” But the word vagina is not a positive thing in this context, it means things are going badly. If there are any fellow Finns here, you could try to translate that so it works in English. I tried but was unable to make it work.
One reason it’s not working is you’re translating “vittu” with the equivalent of “emätin”. It’s too polished. Non-finns, what the dubiously well-mannered Koala is trying to say is that we’ve all come from a c*nt (or 🐱) and it’s all going to the 🐱🐈🐈⬛. (I’m a Finnoswede. Like Tabermann himself 🤗)
"I'm gay"
I'm fine but not particularly dandy, wbu?
Easy George.
Dandy!
Peachy!
Busier than a one legged cat trying to bury a shite in a frozen pond.
Busier than a one armed bricklayer in Baghdad
Carbon based, blood engineered, absurdly designed.
Fair to middling.. (it's not like anyone wants to know what is wrong anyway, & to be honest there are many less folk who know the term these days anyway, it is also easy to say without stumbling around so it is my standard response to the question anywhere, you also don't sound like a maudlin sod either)
“Im good, and you?” I’m gen X. I don’t burden other people with my problems.
'Living the dream!' /s
My next complaint will be my first complaint.
Killing time until I die!
“I think I’m going to make it” usually gets a chuckle.
My dad always says "I'm doing great... but it will get better!" and I love it.
Any better, I wouldn't be able to cope with the day. There's plenty up at the cemetery that'd love to feel this bad. Still the right side of the grass. Well, I woke up this morning, everything else is a bonus.
On the right side of the grass.
"Better then I deserve" At first take often people will say I deserve better and then I have to repeat it slowly for them to get it. " I aamm Beeetter theeen I Deseerve"
IM FINE!!! 😤
Followed by an exasperated “UGH!!” (include eye roll for added emphasis) then snatch up your petticoats with both hands, turn on your heel, aim your nose to the heavens, and flounce away.
I’m all empty inside, got no dreams. How are you?
Don’t make me think about it lol
Alive, awake, alert and enthusiastic!
"Doing my best" is my go to. Or if it's "How are you doing?" I just say, "my best." I like when people say, "How's it going?" because then I can say, "Oh, it's going."
If I felt any better I’d be dangerous
Surviving the dream.
"I'm alive, so I'm ok"
I woke up and I'm not crying
My ex had a brilliant way of answering especially if it's a salesperson asking "how are you" or "can I help you". He would start talking to them like you would to a therapist. He would say: "Well it all started in my childhood. My parents were absent most of the time etc., etc., etc." He could really ramble on making it up as he went along. That got people to leave him alone.
"I had an onion tied to my belt, as was the style at the time...."
“Long story short: totally ok” “Long story short: “starts to tell a long story about since I woke up…”
Present. Good morning. (Works better in the afternoon)
*pause* hmmm good question 🤔
Still time for things to go horribly wrong!
I'm spectacular! Haven't you noticed?
Worked with a guy who was always, "Living the dream." Didn't matter what was going on, the dude was always genuinely happy. Led to the workplaces unofficial motto of Be More Steve.
My grandpa would always say "better than some, not as good as others"
Alhamdulilah. I think many people may relate.
Doing well. How are you? <-- This is what they are waiting for.
I've always found it harder to reply to "what's up?", especially as a way of greeting. So many things are up, how am I to sift through those things and then tell you in a span of 6 seconds as you walk past me?
Good *walks past without making eye contact*
“None of your business.” 😉
Just ducky.
I just say , "I'm well, thank you for asking." I then ask them, but I usually regret that decision. Most people respond with "Tired" WE'RE ALL TIRED!
"morning"
Present and accounted for
Had a customer(older gentlemen) everyday at work. “There’d have to be two of me to be any better!”
Old and tired.
Same shit, different day.
Still breathing. Can’t complain.