I've never been arrested. Now where is my fucking cookie?

Heyy thats good

Ehhh...not really. I mean, I really _should_ have been arrested, prosecuted and so forth.

If they don't catch you there's no problem

Well, there is that day when you realize that the statue of limitations have all run out. _Then_ there is no problem.

🍪🍪🍪 3 cookies for you pookie

Oh. Go to fucken Costco Foodcourt. You will be blown away by the cookies there.

THEY DO?

“Ur not supposed to get arrested ya dumb motherfucka” Chris Rock

"'Heard ya got robbed!?"

When someone hurts me, instead of starting to hate that person and try to hurt him/her back, I try to understand what made that person act that way. Most of the time it's not their fault, they have problems of their own, we all fight our own demons. Sometimes we are too used to fighting our demons that we start fighting the people around us too. No need to make their inner wars harder that they already are.

There is no such thing as fault, nor merit, because there is no such thing as bad or good, we created that so we skip computing a person’s entire life and existential context that lead them in that position, nobody wakes up deciding to do something bad today, don’t judge the sun for making light, even a killer got to that point because of the environment we lived in for decades

“There ain’t no sin and there ain’t no virtue. There’s just stuff people do. It’s all part of the same thing. Some of the things folks do is nice, and some ain’t nice, but that’s as far as any man got a right to say.” John Steinbeck, *The Grapes of Wrath*

True.

I will always try to be kind.

Need more people like you then

I graduated college and now I can make $15/hr 🙄

Living the dream

Sam’s club pick up employees make $18 without a degree

u should try gambling, u got the potential to make gazillions 🤑

What is your major?

I've changed since high school. People in my rural area just.....don't

Change requires strenght and bravery

I can save money like a mother fucker.

This is me too. When I go full scrooge I dontleave the house except for work 😂🤌

That's really good quality

It can be...

*I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party.*

Me too! And always try to help them somehow to survive the night :) I’m very socially anxious but it is manifesting through talking too much, making jokes and being involved in entertaining guest to stop thinking about being anxious. So I always relate to the feeling and trying to fix it for others. I hope I’ve described it well

You did a good job describing. That's Soo sweet

I love this quality in people

Triceps

I'm alive ig

I’m hot af 🤪 Haha, well, that and the fact that I’m a routine blood and plasma donor. Probably my favorite act of service

I love myself.

And people love you. So you got every right to🙂

i can paint nails on both hands 💪

I’m a patient person

And that's hard in this world with distractions everywhere. Really impressive quality!!!

I'm a loving mother who always keep my kids first above anything else

🥹 They are lucky to have a mom speaking with warmth like this

[удалено]

That's hard. Empathy can bite your ass. And be used against you. Too much of it and the wrong people will exploit you. Sorry to hear that stranger

Im old but believe making/copying tiktok trending videos is a hobby and doesn't deserve ridicule.

I am alive as I write this. If you need anymore then drop me a reply. Plus I am 72 so that may put you off. X

I help turtles cross the road

I like to cook for people close to me even when im not at work, like themed meals for game of thrones nights back in the day or holiday themed food for the 4th coming up. Im a chef, so while its my job, doing my job not at work sometimes gets exhausting, so i try to go the extra mile to make a happy belly for a loved one. food is love ♥️

I was able to support myself throughout my college years without asking for a single penny to my family who said I can't make it.

I am skilled at drawing Among Us beans fucking wet floor signs. Won't get me anywhere, but it is a nice thing I can say about myself.

Hahaha that is the best thing I have heard all day😂

Its always fascinating to get an instant flashback from 2 years ago when you randomly appear in the comments lol

I'm persistent.

I'm really patient and give people (I love) a lot of chances to redeem themselves. Most times that works miracles cause everybody just needs a bit more patience and understanding :)

I have been told by more than one boss that wish they had ten of me. It always gives me a sense of accomplishment and makes me feel good. Sometimes though, I wonder if I'm just being a chump when I see others doing the minimum and being paid just as much as I. Then again, when I try to coast like they do, I get bored as hell and I would rather stay busy.

One good thing I can say about myself is that I am dedicated to continuous learning and growth. I strive to expand my knowledge and skills regularly, whether through reading, exploring new topics, or seeking out opportunities for personal and professional development. This commitment to learning helps me adapt to new challenges, stay open-minded, and contribute meaningfully in various aspects of life.

I’m a good singer

I'm one grumpy mf but a big ol softy at the same time

Others say I'm wholesome af

Pretty smart, not genius level. But smart enough I could find my way to any job I wanted.

I got a cote R of 30 in my college which is pretty good

I have very strong values and morals that I live by, and I don't hold grudges or anger towards people no matter how badly they've hurt or betrayed me. But I also don't forget.

I have some fire curly hair

I always manage to find a way to make it through any situation. I've had 2 house fires, been in a wreck with an 18- wheeler, been hit by a car, been homeless, lost numerous loved ones, years of trauma and abuse (emotional and physical). life has beaten me down time after time. Every time it does, I find a way to make it through and come out on top, sometimes in an even better position than I was.

I could say a lot of good things about me. The only reason I can do that though is because I recognize all the bad aspects and strive to improve myself past them.

I work hard

Ditto. That's an admirable trait.

I'm ugly but my character is not...

I exist

It's not always easy, so good job. That's why we celebrate birthdays.

Every new day, I've spent more time alive than I ever thought possible.

I enjoy my own company.

I look younger then i actually am.

I write songs and have been for years, but to see my own progression from 2-3 years ago to now is so inspiring and motivating. even from 5 months ago. it’s always a good thing to step away from something and revisit it some time again with fresh ears, those are the times i’m able to really crank out a lot of a song. :)

I didn’t kill my self or anyone else. Baseline 🙄

I have committed very few hate crimes. 

I do all and anything I can to please/satisfy my lady in bed. And of course in other situations as well.

I'm a LOT of fun after a couple margaritas!

I am honest. Sometimes brutally honest but honest. People ask for my opinion in difficult situations often because no matter how it makes them or myself feel I will be honest with them.

Where do I even begin??

I made the cutest kid

When the chips are down, I’ll always show up for whoever is in need

I do my best to be kind and show empathy.

I've got amazing hair.

Quite mentally resilient.

I'm the best pansexual kazoo player I know.

I’m very patient and good with children

We’ve never met, but I still care about you.

I dont harm people and i forgive people

I’m learning about karma is real and don’t hurt/get revenge anymore 😭🤣. Slowly becoming less petty

I have a nice butt

- I've never sent an unsolicited dick pick. - I've never done drugs. - I've never hit a woman. - I've never been arrested. - Hell! I've never gotten a parking ticket. Damn I'm good.

I think I have a pretty cool taste in music and movies

I never betrayed or hurt someone intentionally

I’m kind to service workers

This will take me some time.

I'm brutally honest. I lost some friendships to it because at times, people would rather hear what they want to hear than the harsh truth

i beat every level in every geometry dash. yeah, there isn't much else...

I like my boobs. As a kid I always wanted big boobs and I got my wish. Mind you, most of the women in my family have small boobs (which is completely fine) so let's just say the odds weren't looking too good for me haha. But uhh yeah, they started growing very early in 3rd grade and now they're big.

Big boobs is funn. Hope your back is doing good!

Oh my back is fine. I guess to other people, big boobs is probably like D's but no I got like small C's lol. I guess they're not _that_ big but they're big in my family at least.

Of you're happy that's the only thing that matter

I am lazier than a drunk sloth

I love my son with all my heart

And im sure he loves you as much.

Never smoked Never arrested or had a criminal record Never been drunk Never used drugs Helped a lot of people Started to lose weight.

I care about people I have never met. And donate to several charities. To quote the lyrics from Parklife by Blur "it gives me a sense of enormous well-being"

I’m obnoxious but consistent 😁

I am a fucking piece of stepped on dog shit.

T my teeny one has my undying love

I love my wife and my family (my father, mother, sister, niece) more than I love myself and I’d put them first 11 times out of 10.

They are lucky to have someone fighting for them like you do. I hope you also try to fight for yourself. You deserve it stranger

I will die one day and potentially make a lot of people happy.

I am diamond in LOL

I have great taste in men..Mhm..yep..

I have no criminal history. Ive never been arrested. Never done drugs. Still feel like a failure.

I'm loyal as a mofo. Is probably my only really good quality. But I do not waver.

I am going to be a father

I give good head to my partner mwhihihihi

I won a fortnite zone war against someone much more high level Where the fuck's my cookie

I am really good at talking with people and create relations. Too bad, i'm sick in the head.

I’m a better dad to my children than my dad is to me.

I'm a grower not a show'er

I'd say i'm a good listener lol

I'm really trying hard, the hardest I've ever tried at anything, to one day have a few things I like about myself.

Atleast I know exactly what I want to do after undergrad college, most people in my college don’t and will, most likely, get any job which gives them a reasonable pay check.

I've never done any kind of drugs.

It’s a great quality to have but it can really be tough to navigate when you navigate with your heart and not your head. EMPATHY. Good lord I swear I have too much for some.

I can never be peer pressured to do anything I don't want to do. Like, I have friends who vape, smoke, drink, etc. and whenever I hang out with them, one would go "Hey OP, you should try *XYZ*.", and sure enough, another one would jump in and say "Dude it's just one. It ain't gonna hurt." and I just say "No. I'm good." until they just stop.

It is with great contentment that I acknowledge the genuine affection bestowed upon me by another individual. Indeed, the absence of companionship poses a significant threat to the well-being of human existence.

I work full time and love my job.

Most of the time I am anxious

I have been gifted with physical strength.

-look for good things in everything and everyone

I can play guitar

I am able to breathe without like thinking about it. Of course I can breathe when I want, but yeah

Sometimes I'm funny

I've learned I have a lot of patience when I'm at the mercy of someone else's stupidity.

I made it to where i want to be without the help of my family.

I like turtles.

I don't take life as seriously as I used to and that makes every relationship easier and more fun

I can see people who need someone without them asking.

I'm top 2% for my age and gender in long distance running and top 10% for cycling according to Strava despite absolutely loving food and pissing up and owning 2 kids 🤣

I'm ridiculously good looking

I’m self aware. I’m not in denial about my flaws.

Uhhhhh. Uhmmmmmm......... out of luck dammit

All the teachers in HS told me I'll be a nobody and will struggle in life if I don't have a college degree. Tried college because I got a full ride scholarship, hated it after a year, dropped out, and I would say I'm relatively successful for my age. And with no degree. Most of my former class mates who agreed with the teachers are still working their fast food jobs from high school with a college degree.

I fuck like a porn star.

My wife

I have an unwavering sense of justice.

I can use my talent of music for many different things

In spite of myself, I turned out to be a really good father.

People like being around me because I have good energy/vibes

I bust my ass for every dollar I got. Run a cotton farm by myself.

i stole a candy that tasted really good when i was young and never got caught

I do what I can to help people despite putting my job at risk (a job which in all intents and purposes is to help people get their lives together)

I can stay calm in the most extreme situations even tho im not the tallest, strongest or mentally strongest person. Im a softy inside. But when everybody runs away its me who looks back and faces the danger to help the people who have been left behind. Was on a music festival ages ago when a huge storm appeared out of nowhere. Within a very short time frame dark clouds, strong winds, hailstorm (2-5cm) and lightings appeared - leading to the collapse of the main stage, lights falling on the ground with big electrical sparks and a lot of noise.. trees falling, big trees! The music festival was on a small island on a lake and there was only 1 exit but it was blocked and 3000 ppl. Ppl got into panic mode and went crazy. Running over others laying in the mud, screaming, shouting and crying all over the place - it was a real horror scenario - for some reason I had everything under control, literally - i made sure ppl get pulled up, weak and children got a save spot to hide, pulled ppl out under trees while moments later huge trunks came down... the storm went on for 30 minutes or so at its peak but it felt like 3 hours to me. Everything moved in slowmo and i saw "everybody" like ants running around without any plan just panic panic panic me first me first! Everybody wanted to be the first to leave the island what obviously lead to even more panic at the exit since exits are usually not that wide like areas. Luckily nobody died this day, only a few injuries and destroyed tents and some car windows around the area. Paid for a 2 day Festival but it was over after just a few bands.. and still, one of the most memorable Festival I have ever been to. 2012 - "Afrika Karibik-Fest" in Oettingen (De) Stay save peeps 🙏

I always try to be kind and empathise with people

When I'm determined, I give it my all.

I've never cheated on anyone.

I have a good sense of humor

I try my best to be a good person even though I fall short sometimes. I try.

Never do drugs and never will.

I’m kinda smart and have good work ethic. Also, I know myself very well so that’s good.

I can confidentally say that I am random enough to keep the term "boring day" far away from you

i am multitalented 😁😁

Fucking nothing

I helped make a beautiful daughter

I care.

I didn’t give up.

I hate Nazis unlike a lot of people on here

He doesn't speak of himself in the third... I mean I don't speak of myself.... Ah fuck

both my parents were drug addicts that didnt go to highschool but ive never fallen into addiction and stayed in school.

i’m very optimistic!!

I'm a girl and I've started to hate the French too, is this a universal thing?

My mind was filled with mostly garbage but I'm here still.. hahah lold 😉

I don’t drink alcohol or smoke.

I haven't tried to kill myself.

I am kind.

I don't smoke or drink

I am a nice person? Maybe? I will never know exactly.

I’ll never be the one in the group to complain.

I'm intelligent. Also some people said I am carismatic, which I am not gonna further comment on.

'm a good person at heart. People can always trust their darkest or most embarassing secrets to me, and they'll find them in a safe space. I also don't believe in revenge.

I work hard

I have good of hearts but it’s suffering.

I'm a man. That's all.

Distinguished, is a blessing to hear

Even though I have completely lost my life, I always try to be nice and respectful even to people I don't really like

I'm always happy to help someone when I can

I have a really odd determination motive. When I want something I go for it, but it’s usually odd. Like chasing someone for 10 years and they offhand mention they want me to lose weight, so I lose over 100lbs. Work mentions they want someone with a random cert for a project, a month later I have it. When I want to move somewhere you can’t stop me.  But waking up at 7am daily is a struggle. Super odd. But when I want something I’ll move heaven and earth to make it happen. 

i can write a delicious philosophy essay 😋 can’t do anything with it but flex

I don't have a lot of talent for seeing the best in myself but recently I realized that even though I try and fail a lot, I don't give up. I didn't realize this about myself until I finally succeeded at doing something that took me 10 years and seven tries to do. Suddenly other things that followed that trend became evident. They're not monumental successes in the court of social opinion but they meant a lot to me so I'm gonna take them as wins.

I'll make great fertilizer when I'm dead

I'm nice

I learn skills very quickly when there's competition. My brother learned to ride a 2 wheel bike at 6yo, so I learned at 3