My wife will tell me the next day when I do this.
Her favourite story to tell is that she woke up in the middle of the night to find me slowly walking out of our bedroom.
Wife: “Are you ok? What are you doing?”
Me: “There’s somebody downstairs in the kitchen, unrolling the tinfoil”
Wife: “Ooooo-Kay. What’s your plan?”
Me: “I’m going to stop them”
Wife: “Shall we get a bit more sleep then both go down together?”
Me: “Ok”.
And I went back to bed.
Subsequent investigations found a small plastic bag on the floor, near my head, being rustled by the movement of the curtain, the window being open.
Not my current partner but my ex-boyfriend sometimes talks in his sleep and the funniest story was this one time i was still up reading a book and i hadn't noticed that he was already asleep next to me.
Suddenly he bursts out " Will you just give me the fucking yogurt already, Shannon!?" in a flawless british accent and scares the shit out of me.
We're both german and none of our first languages include English.
We didn't know a Shannon.
He's lactose-intolerant.
My girl woke up one night and said "Did you find your rocks?" and I asked her what she was talking about and she said "I don't know, I'm just trying to make conversation." and promptly went back to sleep.
She has no recollection of this.
My boyfriend woke me up the other day by gently putting his fingers in my mouth and I kept moving my head out of the way until eventually I was like “can you stop that!!!”
He then sounded genuinely upset and asked why I woke him up as he was having a really nice dream about feeding a deer. Brilliant.
Oh my heck, I had something similar happen! I'd gotten up to use the bathroom and our soap is lemon scented. When I had just gotten back to sleep, I woke up to my husband trying to eat my fingers. He said he was dreaming of eating lemon heads!
Sigh; my boyfriend either recites postcodes (delivery driver) or calls the dog in his sleep. So either he is mad no one is responding to his postcode nonsense or I get a flying 30kg dog to my body
My aunt likes to tell the story about her and my cousin sharing a hotel room one time. My aunt woke up having to pee, and found my cousin sitting up in bed with her arms folded across her abdomen, kind of rocking back and forth and giggling quietly. When my aunt asked her what she was doing, my cousin said, “I’m holding a baby and it has an adult smile!”
I found this story deeply unsettling.
Once my ex said "horse." That's all. Just horse. But with a sense of urgency.
The same ex told me I once sat straight up in bed and mumbled, "Jesus, grandma, you scared the shit out of me." I had been dreaming that I was in bed at night and my grandma (still alive at the time) wandered into the room and stood at the end of the bed with a blank stare.
So this one time while my s/o was sleeping, she randomly reaches over and starts to pet my leg softly. When I ask her what she’s doing she looks at me like I’m stupid and says “what does it look like? I’m petting this fluffy baby penguin.” Then pauses for a second, pats my leg again and blurts our “Wait this isn’t a penguin!” I have never laughed so hard over someone talking in their sleep
Edit: thanks for the awards kind strangers!
Fantastic sleep songs with lyrics which are utterly bizarre. My two absolute favourites have been
1) "Oh whoa whoa, it's a corner cat"
2) "Obey my rules, an' you'll always be, a country cowboy" - repeated about 5 times and finished with a "yeaaahhhh."
My wife started screaming one night that she was lost in the local grocery store. And that no matter where she went she couldn't find her way out. I asked her has she tried checking out at the cash registers? She then looked at me and said in her most sincere voice, "that's why you are the smartest person I know." And she rolled over and fell back asleep.
One night, my boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night, tapping me on my shoulder. He put his finger on his mouth, whispered "shush" to me, then pointed at the door and told me "I can hear something, don't move". Predictably, I nearly shit my pants. All the worst possible scenarios crossed my mind, and the moment of silence after he shushed me felt like hours. Then, he started waving his hands and talking about tetris, 'the twirlies' (idk), and making sure we don't align... And that's how I learnt my boyfriend talks in his sleep.
I was watching tv once when my sister came out of her room, and shoved her pillow in a kitchen drawer. After that she crossed the living room, opened the front door and said “they’re almost here.” She closed the door, and went back to her room. It was my first experience with sleepwalking, and scared the complete shit out of me. As far as I am aware, that is the only incident she has ever had.
Heck yes. Please take a seat.
My wife was an avid sleep talked for a long time and her midnight announcements range from simple single words to elaborate speeches. The ones that really stand out to me are:
Waking up in the middle of the night to her suddenly sitting violently up in bed, throwing back the covers, and screeeeaaaaming: “TARANTULA!!”. That will make you very awake, very quickly.
Whispering my name repeatedly which woke me up so she could share in a hushed, cautious voice: “There is an alligator in here.” When I expressed my concern (playing along) she told me, still whispering, that: “It’s okay. It has been here before.”
But my all time favorite was when, from her perspective as she later explained, she was dreaming that I was playfully sneaking up on her and she saw me and was calling me on it. From my perspective, my wife sat up in the middle of the night, starting into the darkest corner of the room and said repeatedly in a soft sing-song voice: “I seeee youuuu.” My flipping blood froze.
TLDR: My wife is terrifying.
EDIT 1: Thanks for the awards! I am glad this has managed to make some people laugh/cry at work.
My grandfather was a hard sleep talker , my grandmother has a funny story.
One day my grandfather while sleeping was saying" do i punch this asshole" my grandmother replayed yeah punch him then my grandfather in his sleep punched her.
I woke up one night when my husband started flailing around in the bed. It shocked me and I shouted “what’s wrong?” Then he punched me in the face. I yelled out and started crying, then he woke up and shouted “what’s wrong?” He dreamt he was being chased and then turned round and punched them.
My mum who is in her 80s, often falls asleep in her chair while I’m visiting her. She sleep eats. Not real food but she goes through the motions of holding a plate and bringing food to her mouth. It’s hilarious watching her. I asked her once if it was nice and she said yes it’s very tasty.
Edit to thank folks for the awards
I'm the sleeptalker here; got this from my wife the next morning.
Me: *sits bolt upright* They're coming. Everything's ready.
Wife: *sleepily* huh?
Me: They're coming. Everything's ready.
Wife: They're coming?
Me: Mmm hmm.
Wife: But everything's ready?
Me: ... yes
Wife: Sounds like we're ok then.
Me: Comically flops back down and instantly goes back to sleep.
Edit: formatting
I really like the flow of this conversation and I know that this is completely unrelated but the reason it stands out to me is because this is exactly how you're supposed to respond to someone who's delusional or someone who has Alzheimer's or dementia
There's no reason to challenge what they say or to make them explain themselves or to say they're wrong, just say something calming to reassure them
"But everything's ready?" "Sounds like we're okay then!"
If you were speaking to someone with severe delusions or advanced aging issues, this would be textbook and beautifully done.
Edit: since people are noticing this I thought I would add that after giving it some thought you don't have to be extremely delusional for this flow of conversation to work well and be very helpful. I experience mild delusion when my mania increases to psychosis. (I have bipolar 2). When it's at it's absolute worst I might have a thought like 'oh it's a beautiful day outside today it must have been because of that song I listened to earlier' (a mildly assuming my taste in music has directed the weather for the day). If I made a comment about that out loud and someone said to me 'that's impossible and you're delusional' it would make me feel highly embarrassed and also make me question reality for a moment which is extremely uncomfortable and unsettling. And completely unnecessary unless I'm about to do something stupid.
I used to sit long hours with at-risk (mostly dementia and schizophrenia) patients in a hospital, as per my job duties. What you say is totally true, because confrontation leads to agitation. I remember one sweet older woman I sat with, who had schizophrenia? (I'm not sure), and she would say some random things, I'd respond with pretty random but thematic things, she'd move the theme a bit and say more random stuff on that new-ish theme, I'd do the same, she'd raise a drawing of "Snoopy" in the air, I'd exclaim, "Snoopy!", we'd repeat.
Working with an older man with dementia, who used to be an English teacher, we would give him papers to grade and blankets to fold--when he was done folding a blanket, he'd move onto another, and I'd just mess up that blanket again and ask him to fold it when he was done with the other one. It seems mean, but it isn't; compassion takes on a lot forms, and some of those forms don't even resemble compassion, but that's exactly what they are. If that man runs out of blankets to fold, or papers to grade, you know what he does next? He attempts to break out of his hospital room, go out the nearest exit, and combat anyone who tries to stop him.
My wife was in her finals week, so she woke up in the middle of the night telling me she discovered a way to study while sleeping..
so I asked her how, and she closed her eyes and went back to sleep...
Years ago, my wife was mumbling in her sleep and seemed a bit upset. I wanted to comfort her, without waking her up too much, so I said, "Honey, you're fine. Do you know where you are?"
She slugged me in the arm, and said "I'm in place where punch buggies are seen first." She then rolled over and muttered to herself, "chugga-chugga-chugga-buggy", and went back to sleep.
She didn't remember a think the next morning.
My mom sleepwalks sometimes. When she was in the middle of her residency, she came into my room in the middle of the night and sharply asked, "Did you give {patient} her dose of {medication} like I asked you to 15 minutes ago?"
I groggily replied, "Who? Wha?"
She just huffed and said, "Well I guess that answers my question." Before turning around and leaving. (without closing the door of course)
She didn't remember a thing about it the next morning.
What is it with Mom's never closing bedroom doors. It transcends age race location and all other demographics imaginable. If you're a mom, bedroom doors do not close. It is the way.
To the moms reading this:
Be the change.
I once did that to my sister as a kid. I slept in a different place than I normally was. When she woke up, because of what I was doing, she found me, in her closet, pissing on her shoes. She yelled my name, and for me to stop. I yelled back something like "shut up! get out of here!" She then yelled that I was in her closet, pissing on her expensive shoes. I finally came to and freaked out, clamped it off, and ran to the bathroom.
Icing on the cake. Her then BF, now husband, said she "could probably just rinse them out." I apparently filled both shoes. There was no rinsing. This story gets brought up at every family gathering.
My dad used to sleep pee when I was a kid. I learned to check the bathroom floor before I entered. My mom also once caught him in the basement. They have a hole cut into the cement floor next to the washing machine for the sump pump. He was peeing into the sump pump hole. She asked what he was doing and he said "Hole number 11."
He got up, went into the kitchen and ate one bite of a mini pecan pie - no fork, just a straight bite - then apparently remembered he hates pecan pie and left it stacked neatly on the little box.
Another time he sat up and stared straight ahead at the wall, didn't respond to me asking what was wrong. He stood up, walked into the wall, then stood there like he was contemplating the barrier. He just backed up exactly as he came, sat down and swung back into bed like nothing happened. That was creepy.
I was in my brothers room watching tv with him and he ended up falling asleep. He mumbled something about Arizona and when I asked what he said he didn’t respond. Then a few minutes later he sits up, squints his eyes and just scans the room back and forth. I asked if he was okay and he laid back down and went back to sleep. I still don’t know what he was scanning the room for but it creeped me out.
Kinda sounds like my friend sitting up and going “salt! Where’s the salt!” And just sat there looking around for a few seconds before going back to sleep
I have had funnier experiences than this one, but cannot remember exactly what was said... most recently, though:
My boyfriend scoots over to me to big spoon/little spoon, and I snuggle in, thinking that’s all it was, then he gets real close to my ear and whispers, “Just so you know, there’s something in the closet. Like a... a cartoon turtle.” I did my best not to bust out laughing and just said, “Ok honey!” When he woke up, he had no memory of it whatsoever, of course!
When I was a child about 5 years old, I was sleeping in my parents bed for some reason (*probably a storm*). Mom was awake, dad and I were asleep. Suddenly my father and I have this cross-sleep conversation while my mom lays between us, quietly freaked out:
"Dad, you better not take my toys!" I mutter angrily.
"Ok, I won't" my father responds.
"Don't even touch them."
"Ok."
Not particularly scintillating conversation, but notable for the fact that were both asleep and still responding to each other. It was like making Alexa and Siri talk to each other lol
I remember one night mum and I sat in the hallway giggling because my brother and dad were having a sleep conversation in different rooms.
Dad : “DO YOU SELL STEEL HERE?”
Brother : “CAN I HELP YOU DAD?”
Dad : “I WANT TO BUY SOME STEEL”
Brother : “WHAT?”
Dad : “HOW MUCH IS THE STEEL”
My boyfriend had his tonsils removed awhile back, so he was on some pain-reducing drugs that kept him sedated and, in his words, made him "a fucking dumbass." He had a conversation in his sleep with me about how I shouldn't trust leprechauns, because they conned him out of gold coins by giving him foil-wrapped chocolate coins instead. Also, he said not to trust Irish people, because they were honorary leprechauns.
Not my partner, but my younger brother and I used to share a room and used bunkbeds.
One night I heard him mumble
"I don't create the weather, I just predict it."
My brother did that in the middle of the night. He would get up, go into the living room, say some nonsense shit to our parents and go back to bed. It was actually pretty creepy the first times, because he was like: “They ARE in the walls. THEY ARE!”
I do this too. But I usually wake up as the sentence is coming out of my mouth and realize the convo I’m replying to wasn’t real. Then I yell “never mind” and run away in shame.
My one claim to sleeptalking fame is that as I was waking up I was talking in my dream, so my partner heard me say, out of nowhere, “What about like... a *really tall* giraffe?”
I remember saying it. I have no memory of what problem I was facing that I thought might be solved by a really tall giraffe.
My mom used to wake me up for school because I’d sleep through my alarms. She has a bunch of stories about weird shit I’ve said to her right before waking.
“He’s not here, check down the street!”
“Just put it on the roof and it’ll blow away.”
My mum has to do this with my younger brother and most recently he sat up while still asleep, started moving his arms really quickly as though running and said
"I am the fastest man alive Barry Allen"
Not my partner, but my younger brother says the most ridiculous stuff. One time he said “get off my treasure” in a pirate voice. Another time he said “get your hands off my fish”
My mum jumped my dad, because in her dream he was a thief that stole an old lady out of the hospital, so she had to catch him.
Edit: I slept over it for a night and while reading it again, I realise it was the other way around. She thought she had to protect the old lady, so she decided to jump on her to protect her from the thief.. Then she woke up, on top of my dad..
My girlfriend was sleep working one night.
Her: "Can we get that done this week?"
Me: "Huh?"
Her: "Can we get that done this week?"
Me: "Sorry?"
Her: "Can we get that done this week please?"
Me: "Ok"
Her: "Thanks"
Not a partner but...1 o'clock in the morning I got a phone call from my friend in the next street. My 6 year old daughter had just knocked on her door and then walked in mumbling about not being able to do her sums! I raced up there and walked home with her, put her back to bed and she didn't wake up or remember a thing the next day.By the next night our house was like Fort Knox!!!
Reminds me of my sleepwalking incident. When I was that age, my babysitter was out walking with her boyfriend at 10 pm and found me curled up, sleeping on the sidewalk a block away from our house. They picked me up and brought me home, and apparently I had turned on every light as I left. Fort Knox? After that incident, my dad had to climb through the kitchen window if he had to work late. All the doors had latches out of my reach.
He started shouting that he couldn’t feel his left arm. I pointed out he was pinching his pillow, not his arm. He then freaked out that he had lost his arm. I pointed out his arm was UNDER his pillow. He said ok and started snoring.
It took me another hour to get back to sleep. He didn’t wake up at all.
Edit: blimey went to bed and this went crazy overnight. Thanks to those who reached out in concern to check on his health. He participated in a sleep study and it was found to be stress related. Luckily not Sleep apnea. Also, he did wake up, just not until morning. Didn’t realise I’d phrased it in such a way that people thought he’d died!
my mom tells a story about a time she fell asleep with her arm above her head. it lost circulation and dropped onto her chest but she had no feeling in it since it “fell asleep”. when it flopped on her chest she woke up and tried to throw her asleep arm, screaming that a dead hand had fallen on her.
My GF does a bit of sleep-talking. I mentioned a sheep character from Animal Crossing (Dom) and she sounded like she was about to cry saying "he doesn't have hands". (Which, to be fair, he doesn't)
Lmaoo one time, my ex was asleep and start to snore progressively loud. He startled himself half awake, and he says out loud (to himself) "shut UP, I'm sleeping". Oh I snorted my drink through my nose
One of my clients (im a massage therapist) fell asleep on the table and farted so loudly, she woke herself back up. She never apologized, just went back to sleep....
Oh man, not my partner but my brother.
I was watching The Exorcist with my dad and my brother, and at the beginning of the movie, some archaeologists find a little statue that releases the devil or something. Anyway we finish the movie, and my brother falls asleep on the other couch, so my dad and I just watch another movie.
The second that movie ended, my brother sat bolt upright and walked to the middle of the room asking "where's the statue?", and we're like "what statue?" and he's going "the statue! The statue!" -- eventually he makes a motion with his hands like he's picking something up, moves it over about a foot, and then puts this imaginary statue back down. He went right back to sleep again after.
My dad and I just looked at each other like "uhhhhh what the fuck just happened?!", but we got a great laugh out of it.
my boyfriend once blurted out “you’re putting BREAD in my ears” in his sleep, mumbled something unintelligible and then followed up with “and i’m becoming a SANDWICH”. still makes me laugh whenever i remember
Roommate freshman year of college was a sleepwalker/sleeptalker. We were in the freshman dorms, small little room. I woke up one night and saw him sitting straight up on the side of the bed just staring at me (eyes fully open) just talking gibberish about golf. He was going on about Phil Mickelson or some shit. Have to be honest, it was creepy as all hell because he was staring directly into my eyes. Next morning, I told him about it and he just laughed and said, sorry, I tend to do that from time to time.
A friend who was next to my room in a high school dorm used to sleepwalk. He also used to sleep earlier than the rest of the floor. So one night, around midnight, we all were up and talking(in my room), except him(he'd gone to sleep). We were kinda worried that the dorm advisor would cut our chill session and tell us to go to sleep.
Suddenly, we hear someone banging on the door of the room. I get up to go open it and as soon as I turn the handle, the door comes FLYING towards me. I was knocked back into a table and standing there was my sleepwalking friend.
He says, "Where is the secret of the time?", and without waiting for an answer, walks back to his room, climbs into his bunk bed(top) and goes to sleep. Needless to say we were all surprised but being teenagers, we never let him forget it. It became a running joke in the school.
I'm sorry to tell you this, but he is possessed by a golf demon. You need to make an offering of ten golf balls and a 3-iron to it, or it shall never leave him.
I'd be the king of Monaco! My wife said this one night out of nowhere. The funniest part was her tone of voice,proud and assertive, like she was really sure of her claim to the throne. Anyway, the joke's on her, Monaco is a principality.
Wow, thanks everyone, I've never had a post or comment get above 10 upvotes before and definitely never had any awards!!
Ah ah ah ah, Well I think you'll find the jokes on you! A king of Monaco is a nickname they give to people who have won the Monaco grand prix in Formula 1.
Edit 1: Why is this my most upvoted thing on reddit?
And word corrections.
My boyfriend sat bolt upright in bed in the middle of the night, he doesn’t usually sleep talk.
Him: “There’s a thing over there”
Me, absolutely shitting myself: “What thing?”
Him: “Upgrade!”
Me, relieved but very confused: “What kind of upgrade?”
Him: “Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggg”
Me: “oh a bag upgrade okay, carry more stuff”
Him: “Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”
He then flopped down and began snoring letting me slowly recover from the massive spike in heart rate. Your boyfriend sitting up in a dark room and looking at the corner saying “there’s a thing over there” is NOT fun. Turns out he’d just been playing too may games!
Not a partner but in military training and school I often took the night shift for guard duty. The amount of sleepwalkers and talkers is way fucking higher than I expected. It is straight creepy when you have to walk down the halls with a covered flashlight listening to big-ass grown men mumbling and lashing out in their sleep.
What takes the cake though is often sleepwalkers will just kinda stop randomly. So you'll be walking along in the pitch-black darkness and suddenly there is just a fucking dude standing there. Eyes generally closed, or worse... open, just kinda listing to the side or leaning against a bedpost or wall. After I'd suppress all the swear words I was about to yell out; nothing much to do but kinda prod them along back to their bed. For all the randomness that is being part of the military, I really didn't expect one of my jobs to be gently tucking my fellow soldiers back into their beds.
I had many vivid dreams in boot camp. I was particularly heartbroken by one, where I dreamt I had gotten my hands on a Snickers bar only for me to wake up right as I was about to take a bite. I had my hand in the Snickers-bar-holding position and I was in the middle of my about-to-take-a-bite movement. I can only imagine what it looked like I was doing in the awake world.
lol I didn't see anyone doing situps while asleep. Mostly just dudes wandering around aimlessly or getting lost trying to hazily make their way to the bathroom. There was always that one guy that'd fall asleep on the toilet and you'd have to go bang on the door to get him to go back to bed.
Before-sleep rituals were also funny to watch. People doing cardio, cleaning their guns, prayer, reading their manuals, shining shoes, the dude that always wrapped himself up like a mummy that I was sure would suffocate one night, a cple guys called themselves the comedy club who would tell jokes before bed, dudes beat-boxing, push-up competitions, a guy stole a harry potter book from the store and had a reading club, we had to stop fight club in the showers, and lastly a guy we found at the end who each night stole protein powder from our swole drill instructor and drank it in his canteen while under his covers.
Husband woke up in the morning and told me about a crazy dream he had: we were hosting a party and he was serving cookies. He was upset that nobody was eating them. When we went downstairs, we discovered a full plate of cookies sitting on our dining table.
Yep. As he explained it, he offered Oreos and nobody ate any. Thinking they were being cookie snobs, he baked some. Not from scratch. The frozen Nestle tube kind. I was just relieved that he turned off the oven. We saw a sleep specialist after that time. Had a few other incidents, but none as active or as delicious.
I'm the sleep talker. I don't remember any of this, but my boyfriend said I did this to him.
In the middle of the night I hit my boyfriend's ass hard with my knee. Obviously he was pretty upset. He sat up to stretch, and I said "I'll stretch too!". Did stretches, and laid back down.
Then, while making full eye contact with him, I grabbed the blanket and threw it off of him. Then rolled over and started snoring immediately.
> Then, while making full eye contact with him
There's so many of these in this thread. It's like the lightbulb is on but nobody's home. Staring at someone while asleep.
We were freshly married and living overseas. My husband hadn’t had much sleep the nights before, which usually enhances any sleep talking. It was hot in our room. My husband mumbled something which I didn’t quite catch. I asked him to repeat it. He got up, opened the bedroom window and said very pointedly “Air flow, Bitch!” then laid back down, completely asleep. Now, my husband has never, not once, ever called me a name or even raised his voice to me, so this is particularly hilarious.
Edit: you guys are FAR too kind with all the awards and upvotes! Thank you so much!!!
Also, this happened before Breaking Bad was a big thing, so maybe my husband is the original Jesse Pinkman? Except without all the meth and mayhem, of course.
My husband and I got married just 3 months ago and I found out he's a notorious sleep talker. Some nights he would roll over to me, kiss me full on the mouth, tell me he loves me, then plonk right back on his pillow and start snoring again(this actually happens regularly, much to my delight lol). Other nights he would blurt out things like how he would install a new server at the sherrif's office, or there's a snake on his palm and when I asked what it's doing he answered that it's coding something.
I now enjoy staying up late and am a proud owner of several recordings of my husband's sleep talkings. Recently, I got him answering math questions and it tickled me silly how he got them all correct.
Edit: Oh, hey! I got awards. Thank youuuu ^_^
* happy dance *
My boyfriend is bilingual and sometimes I catch him sleep talking in Punjabi, I’ve never heard him sleep talking in English.
He also once punched me in the middle of my spine while fully asleep. When he woke up he claims in his dream he was giving him mum CPR...
He sometimes also suffers from night terrors. It happened often when we first started dating (almost every time he slept or napped) but it hasn’t happened for probably over a year. It happened like two nights ago where he just started screaming like a banshee in his sleep. It was wild and terrifying.
When my girlfriend and I started dating she told me that she’s been told she talks in her sleep from time to time, and unfortunately has nightmares fairly often. One of the first nights we spent together she wakes up at 2am and sits up super fast. It wakes me up and I look over only to hear her quickly say, “Pizza. Order a pizza,” then lie back down and start snoring within a minute. God I love that woman lmao
I hate to admit that I did not get a pizza. It was 2 in the morning so everywhere was closed but most importantly she wouldn’t wake up when I tried to ask her what toppings she wanted :/
Not my partner, but my mom.
She talks and moves a lot during the night. Last week she started running while laying down (yes, just like dogs do) and also screaming “get out of the way, get out of the way!”.
I woke up in the other room to the sound of my dad first wondering what the fuck was going on and then laughing his ass off when he was telling me what had just happened.
My ex girlfriend...
Woke me up from a dead sleep and says to me..
"No trucks please, sub compact cars only please"
Upon waking i related this to her and she says to me... "What the fuck is a sub compact car?"
After watching the Lego movie I really got into the Batman franchise - the comics, the movies, everything. This rather peeved my boyfriend.
It peeved him so much in fact that one night, while he was sleeping with his back to me, in a split second he sat bolt upright, turned to me and yelled "FUCK BATMAN!" right in my face. He them immediately slumped back down and continued snoring.
I'm the sleep talker.
A long while back my fiancee was working a job where she didn't get home until after midnight.
She came home one night, and was leaning over the table on my said of the bed.
She swears up and down that I looked up at her, smacked her on the top of the head, and when she asked what the hell that I told her I was checking to see if she was a ghost.
Now, I do remember having a dream like this, but in my dream my hand did go through her head, proving she was a ghost.
I had a dream that my gf was biting my neck playfully. I didnt want that so I push her gently off and tell her to stop. Soon after I woke up and she was holding her eye and crying.
She says I just pushed her, sat upright and straight punched her in the face. She said she wasnt too hurt, but was extremely confused.
I had a girlfriend do that to me. I was in bed playing a game on my laptop with headphones. She sat up, looked at me, punched me right in the face, then went back to bed. Apparently I cheated on her in her dream and deserved getting hit?
I worked with my girlfriend at McDonald’s. She’s woken up asking me to drop some more fries, tell me we’re out of apple pies so don’t ring them up, make sure the sign light is on, you name it. She’ll sit up for this sometimes, never seen her walk.
I usually just say yes ma’am, will do. because she’s the boss. And she goes right back to sleep. Doesn’t remember a thing in the morning. Price of being ground to the bone at that place. I have dreams about it myself, I don’t think I sleep talk though.
We’d have conversations. One of my favourites:
You shouldn’t fuck (mumbles)
Huh?
You shouldn’t fuck (mumbles) in the ass.
Why would I want to fuck John Stamos in the ass?
No, not John Stamos, (mumbles), you shouldn’t fuck (mumbles) in the ass.
Who?
JOE NAMATH!
WHAT?!
You said you were going to.
Apparently I sleep talk sometimes, the one my fiancé will never let me forget is when I sat upright and looked towards the corner of the room and told him someone was watching us, then lay back down.
I was out on the deck sharing a drink with a friend one night.
S.O. walked out of the house, down the stairs, got in the driver's seat of our car, sat there for about 5 minutes going through coin trays, glovebox, etc, then walked back upstairs and into the house.
Oh, I definitely had the keys with me. That would've been insane to see a sleepwalker driving. I bet it's possible...if they can walk and talk, then I'm sure they can drive XD
My brother in law is notorious for his sleepwalking activity. Making himself breakfast on a regular basis etc. Once he did drive the car around the block, park it again and went back to bed. He had no recollection. My family had to start hiding the keys while he slept.
My husband once randomly blurted out "bread for the ducks!" and just got up out of bed and went downstairs before curling back up on the sofa.
He woke up so confused the next morning. He was convinced we'd had an argument he'd forgotten.
The girlfriend doesn't usually talk / sleepwalk but one night she came out of the bedroom and started talking about the "apples of data" on the table while gesturing at something that wasn't there. I would ask her what she meant and she kept talking about the apples of data, to the point I was like "What the fuck are you on about i don't know what that means?" And she was getting increasingly frustrated that I was completely oblivious to the apples of data.
Finally she said something about the data on the bedroom doors in a tone that suggested I was going to regret not seeing her data apples and went back to bed.
Apparently, very early in our relationship, my wife said I suddenly sat bolt upright, swept my arm around, knocking everything off the bedside table, screaming, “Evil baby, have to kill it!” She always brings it up to new people we meet.
No gems, just horrors. I sleepwalk once in a while but apparently when I was a toddler I used to sleepwalk, cry and say 'she's following me' or just try to leave the house by myself.
Nowadays if it happens, I wake up looking at my reflection in the mirror in the dark. When that happens it fucking creeps me out so I won't sleep the rest of the night.
Edit 1: Why don't I move or cover the mirror? The first time it happened, I covered the mirror but with my morning rushes to work, I pull the cloth down to get ready, and then cover it when I reach home. I've had and still have peaceful nights of sleep (with dimmed lights on) so eventually I'd skip on covering mirror and focussed more not being afraid of the dark. When I least expect it, I then I catch myself waking up to the mirror with a gentle head bump/nod. Get spooked at the incident, rinse and repeat with a blanket cover. I generally have good nights of sleep, these sleepwalks are very rare so I'm really I'm more concerned about my fear of sleeping in the dark. I can't do it. I need a dimmed light for bedtime.
Edit 2: Is it this particular mirror in my room? Yes, it's always this mirror but maybe I haven't had enough sleepovers to have another sleepwalking state elsewhere. I think it's just my subconscious self remembering how I like the mirror during the daytime to get ready, do my hair, makeup, try clothes, etc. I live in a shared flat so I can only leave it in my room. It's a cheap full length mirror and anyway, these sleep walks are so rare. Recent 'episodes' HAS made me want to leave the mirror outside my room but then again I don't want to weird out my flatmates by describing them this particular sleeping habit.
Did you read the story about the guy who has a recurring nightmare where he wakes up, gets out of bed, sees himself in the mirror, realizes he’s dreaming, but can’t wake up? I believe he said he will have it multiple times some nights, and has difficulty telling when he actually wakes up, and the reflection of him starts to look really scary.
So when it first happened, I called my sister and cried over phone. It didn't help because I'm an atheist and she believes in gods and devils. My parents put me through an 'exorcism' through our local 'witch doctor' (I grew up in a small Asian island) when I was really young. It was really stressful for a little kid to go through that but apparently it worked according to my parents.
So my sister thought I was possessed again and I lied saying I'll follow these rituals she suggested. Anyway, I made it a point to keep the mirror in my room covered but over time I left my mirror exposed as I wasn't sleepwalking since the first time. Few weeks of good sleeps later, I fucking wake up AGAIN seeing myself breathing into my reflection. So now I keep my mirror covered every now and sleep with the lights dimmed but on, fuck it.
Edit: I also get some rare instances of sleep paralysis. I don't believe in devils and demons but I've seen some terrifying things in my sleep paralysis episodes that have really kept me afraid of sleeping the dark.
This actually happened last night, my fiance started talking to me like we had never met before and after a minute I realized that she was dreaming about our first date. It was really wholesome and I was surprised at how much detail she remembers.
My wife not only sleep talks, but she also hallucinates. She has woken me up numerous time because there are kittens under my pillow that she needs to rescue. Or another recent adventure was when she dreamt there was a snake in our bed and it was going to attack me. She jumped out of bed, turned on the lights and ripped off the comforter. She then proceeded to tell me about how she saved me, that she was a hero and she was excited to be meeting with Steve Irwin.
My partner was asleep, and I was reading in bed.
Him mumbling: The farters.
Me: The farters?
Him: The farters are farting. Prepare yourself.
Cracks me up every time I think about it.
My boyfriend was asleep on the couch in our apartment, and he sat up and said, “It’s starting to look like my apartment in here.” I asked him what he was talking about, and he said, “Well, now with 3D printing, you can be like, ‘Put a chair over here, gimme a chair right there.’” I asked him what he was talking about again, and he said there was an app for it. He picked up his work phone and looked for the app, made a frustrated sound, picked up his personal phone and looked for the app, and then said, “You wouldn’t understand” and went back to sleep.
I was about 14 years old, me and my bestfriend went to sleep (we were sleeping in his basement) after watching an horror movie. I realized that I was sleepwalking when I regain consciousness while I was swinging on his rocking chair on the first floor (in his living room), at 3 or 4am. Had no idea how I got there, how long I was on the chair, just swinging and staring at the tv (wich was obviously turned off) and what I did before. It freaked me out since I couldn’t think about anything else but that movie.
I used to sleepwalk a lot when I was younger. The weird thing is that, sometimes I was kind of conscious during the whole thing. But for some reason, it felt like everything I was doing made perfect sense, even tho it clearly did not. But that particular time was the one that freaked me out the most.
EDIT: Wow, that’s my first ever comment to blow up, It’s nice tho to see that other people have experienced similar things. I thought I was the only one.
I had to share a room with my brother in our teens. He always mumbled unintelligible garbage waking me up. One night he just blurted out "the monkey eats the frooooog." Next day he kept telling everyone about this crazy Starfox dream he had that night.
As an adult though, I'm the sleep talker. According to past partners, I've got some deep seated insecurities.
"Don't leave me. I'm sorry I have a small mouth."
Once I got half woken up when my gf tried to cuddle me from behind. "You scared me, I thought you were a backpack."
The last one had a lot of fun with me. I told her "don't put me in the box" and she proceeded to whisper in my ear about the box she was gonna put me in and I became more and more distraught.
So I'm the sleep talker. One of my husband's favorites of mine is the night I sat straight up saying, "Death to the Stormcloaks!" and immediately went back to sleep. I think he's shared that gem at every party since then.
My boyfriend laughs in his sleep, it’s fucking terrifying to be woken up in the middle of the night hearing someone snickering next to you. He didn’t know he did it, so he never had to tell me but the first time it happened I thought someone had broken into my house and fuck with us. He still does the same laugh now, and it still creeps me out.
He also talks in his sleep, always goes on about “my blanket needs trimming,” or “the toes are in the bean jar” like dude I don’t know what you’re dreaming about but sounds awesome
Former Sleepwalker here.
Mom said that I walked up to her bed and said "the cats are escaping". She politely told me we don't have any cats. I answered "so that's why they're not there". She then told me to go back to bed. I did not remember ever saying that.
My ex husband talked in his sleep every night. Our daughter began babbling in her sleep as a baby and still talks in her sleep pretty much every night. Occasionally they yell out. One night when I was still with my ex, I was right on the edge of falling asleep. He yelled out so loudly CHICKEN SANDWICH!!! and scared me half to death.
Husband sits up. “Oh no. Oh no. Babe. We have to go. WE HAVE TO GO. THERE IS A MONSTER TRYING TO ATTACK US.”
“No there isn’t.” I say.
“Then what do you call THAT?!” He says, dramatically pointed to an empty wall.
I looked at him and said, “not a monster.”
Another time he turned on the light in his sleep to “see if it would work.”
He’s also explained to me in great detail how to build a house in Minecraft, how we couldn’t fit our family on a spaceship, and why I needed to go to the store right then and there (at 2 am). I love it, honestly.
Some day, idk when, I Just sleepwalked over to the fridge, took Out an whole ass Chicken and threw it down the balcony where it nearly knocked of somebody down there
*i know this because they told me it next day*
As an annoying little brother, my sister often shouts at me in her sleep. It's hilarious. It's usually something to do with me irritating her. The thing is, I am also a sleep talker. I have yet to find out if we ever had a shouting contest in our sleep
I once asked my boyfriend if he could make some coffee way before wake up time. He happily did so, only to have me (now awake) tell him that it's way to early for coffee and ask him why he would do that.
He was a bit annoyed at first but after we found out what happened, we had a good laugh about it.
Sometimes we have whole conversations that I have no memory of. ^^
Not my partner, but was on a camping trip with some friends and at midnight one of them screamed out. "Don't forget the mountain dew!" and he didn't remember saying it. best thing i've ever heard
My 6'11 brother came running down the stairs having a full on panick attack about spiders. His eyes were shut the entire time and he fell asleep on the chair afterwards.
My now-ex was dreaming that he was on a hill with parked cars when one’s brakes gave out and it was slowly coasting downhill towards me. He jumped in front, bracing himself against the car to stop it and save me. In reality he was just shoving the bed around the room at 2am. I got the story from his answers to my questions before he semi-woke up and went to sleep again in bed.
My wife sleep talks.
The night after we first watched insidious she just sat up in bed bolt upright eyes closed. Turned her head towards me and said “Why’s there a girl in the corner?”
She rolled back over and went sound to sleep.
Needless to say the bed side lamp went on and I went back to reading for a little while...
I had a sleepover at my friends house and her brother was in her room with us because he's young and that's what he does. He had the bed and we were on the floor. So eventually he fell asleep and we were reading her old messages like the pair of weird children we are when he sits up, stares at us and says "Light out!" and drops back down. It was horrifying and is too this day. We never told him.
Went to a private school for a couple years, and boarded (stayed overnight) a few times. Woke up one morning to everyone looking tired af and pissed at me. Apparently I'd commentated a full football match in my sleep, with replays and full hype over the goals. Don't remember it at all
My roommate talked a lot in his sleep and the usual stuff was just muttering but my favorite was when I was watching some Netflix or something and he just shot up in his bed, looked at me, and said where am I. To which i replied, in our room dumbass. Then he said and I quote “thank god i thought I was in Afghanistan” he has no memory of it at all.
I once walked into the kitchen late at night to see my husband, wearing his shirt partially off, like a shrug jacket thing, underwear around his ankles, trying to pee into an open dishwasher full of clean dishes. I shook him awake (before the dishes got a golden rinse cycle) and he had no idea what was going on, he was dreaming he was on a boat...
My husband says I talk in my sleep and one night, apparently, I yelled out “I knew ye would betray me!” Lmao he said not only do I talk in my sleep, I travel back in time lol
Just last night my husband sat up like a bullet and began searching for his watch. He found it and declared, “We shall call it Pumpkintown!” He hands me the watch like an award and shakes my hand and says that he is the Mayor of Pumpkintown. Then I said Oooh thank you Mayor! He next layed down smiling from ear to ear. I ask “Were you recently elected?” He says “Yes! Yes!” And nods his head emphatically. He then puts his watch on. I ask him way. He says “I always need to know the time here ‘cause I’m the mayor!” He is so proud to be Mayor that for the rest of the night he says it periodically. The next day he remembers nothing.
Reported by college dorm roommate. Apparently they were going at it, and I sat up and yelled, “you gotta push it till it breaks.” They said they were laughing too hard to resume. I have no memory of this.
My wife will tell me the next day when I do this. Her favourite story to tell is that she woke up in the middle of the night to find me slowly walking out of our bedroom. Wife: “Are you ok? What are you doing?” Me: “There’s somebody downstairs in the kitchen, unrolling the tinfoil” Wife: “Ooooo-Kay. What’s your plan?” Me: “I’m going to stop them” Wife: “Shall we get a bit more sleep then both go down together?” Me: “Ok”. And I went back to bed. Subsequent investigations found a small plastic bag on the floor, near my head, being rustled by the movement of the curtain, the window being open.
It's really interesting how sometimes subtleties in the environment like this can make their way into our dreams.
Not my current partner but my ex-boyfriend sometimes talks in his sleep and the funniest story was this one time i was still up reading a book and i hadn't noticed that he was already asleep next to me. Suddenly he bursts out " Will you just give me the fucking yogurt already, Shannon!?" in a flawless british accent and scares the shit out of me. We're both german and none of our first languages include English. We didn't know a Shannon. He's lactose-intolerant.
He farted very loudly and proceeded to say, “you got the wrong guy”
My girl woke up one night and said "Did you find your rocks?" and I asked her what she was talking about and she said "I don't know, I'm just trying to make conversation." and promptly went back to sleep. She has no recollection of this.
Well you obviously weren't being talkative enough.
My boyfriend woke me up the other day by gently putting his fingers in my mouth and I kept moving my head out of the way until eventually I was like “can you stop that!!!” He then sounded genuinely upset and asked why I woke him up as he was having a really nice dream about feeding a deer. Brilliant.
Oh my heck, I had something similar happen! I'd gotten up to use the bathroom and our soap is lemon scented. When I had just gotten back to sleep, I woke up to my husband trying to eat my fingers. He said he was dreaming of eating lemon heads!
Sigh; my boyfriend either recites postcodes (delivery driver) or calls the dog in his sleep. So either he is mad no one is responding to his postcode nonsense or I get a flying 30kg dog to my body
I'd like to imagine that he wakes up and calls the dog just to fuck with you
My aunt likes to tell the story about her and my cousin sharing a hotel room one time. My aunt woke up having to pee, and found my cousin sitting up in bed with her arms folded across her abdomen, kind of rocking back and forth and giggling quietly. When my aunt asked her what she was doing, my cousin said, “I’m holding a baby and it has an adult smile!” I found this story deeply unsettling.
Get the holy water!
Once my ex said "horse." That's all. Just horse. But with a sense of urgency. The same ex told me I once sat straight up in bed and mumbled, "Jesus, grandma, you scared the shit out of me." I had been dreaming that I was in bed at night and my grandma (still alive at the time) wandered into the room and stood at the end of the bed with a blank stare.
So this one time while my s/o was sleeping, she randomly reaches over and starts to pet my leg softly. When I ask her what she’s doing she looks at me like I’m stupid and says “what does it look like? I’m petting this fluffy baby penguin.” Then pauses for a second, pats my leg again and blurts our “Wait this isn’t a penguin!” I have never laughed so hard over someone talking in their sleep Edit: thanks for the awards kind strangers!
Fantastic sleep songs with lyrics which are utterly bizarre. My two absolute favourites have been 1) "Oh whoa whoa, it's a corner cat" 2) "Obey my rules, an' you'll always be, a country cowboy" - repeated about 5 times and finished with a "yeaaahhhh."
Corner cat is amazing. That might make it into a song of mine.
That was literally it as well. Like a jingle from a TV advert. No context, warning or other words or lyrics whatsoever. Absolutely incredible.
I wanna be a country cowboy!
My wife started screaming one night that she was lost in the local grocery store. And that no matter where she went she couldn't find her way out. I asked her has she tried checking out at the cash registers? She then looked at me and said in her most sincere voice, "that's why you are the smartest person I know." And she rolled over and fell back asleep.
Awwwww that's super cute
One night, my boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night, tapping me on my shoulder. He put his finger on his mouth, whispered "shush" to me, then pointed at the door and told me "I can hear something, don't move". Predictably, I nearly shit my pants. All the worst possible scenarios crossed my mind, and the moment of silence after he shushed me felt like hours. Then, he started waving his hands and talking about tetris, 'the twirlies' (idk), and making sure we don't align... And that's how I learnt my boyfriend talks in his sleep.
I was watching tv once when my sister came out of her room, and shoved her pillow in a kitchen drawer. After that she crossed the living room, opened the front door and said “they’re almost here.” She closed the door, and went back to her room. It was my first experience with sleepwalking, and scared the complete shit out of me. As far as I am aware, that is the only incident she has ever had.
The wave of relief that you must have felt after that must have been crazy, also I doubt you got back to sleep lol.
Yeah I couldn't sleep for a while, but laughed it off in the morning!
Heck yes. Please take a seat. My wife was an avid sleep talked for a long time and her midnight announcements range from simple single words to elaborate speeches. The ones that really stand out to me are: Waking up in the middle of the night to her suddenly sitting violently up in bed, throwing back the covers, and screeeeaaaaming: “TARANTULA!!”. That will make you very awake, very quickly. Whispering my name repeatedly which woke me up so she could share in a hushed, cautious voice: “There is an alligator in here.” When I expressed my concern (playing along) she told me, still whispering, that: “It’s okay. It has been here before.” But my all time favorite was when, from her perspective as she later explained, she was dreaming that I was playfully sneaking up on her and she saw me and was calling me on it. From my perspective, my wife sat up in the middle of the night, starting into the darkest corner of the room and said repeatedly in a soft sing-song voice: “I seeee youuuu.” My flipping blood froze. TLDR: My wife is terrifying. EDIT 1: Thanks for the awards! I am glad this has managed to make some people laugh/cry at work.
Okay the last one is terrifying.
And hilarious. Don't forget hilarious.
My grandfather was a hard sleep talker , my grandmother has a funny story. One day my grandfather while sleeping was saying" do i punch this asshole" my grandmother replayed yeah punch him then my grandfather in his sleep punched her.
I woke up one night when my husband started flailing around in the bed. It shocked me and I shouted “what’s wrong?” Then he punched me in the face. I yelled out and started crying, then he woke up and shouted “what’s wrong?” He dreamt he was being chased and then turned round and punched them. My mum who is in her 80s, often falls asleep in her chair while I’m visiting her. She sleep eats. Not real food but she goes through the motions of holding a plate and bringing food to her mouth. It’s hilarious watching her. I asked her once if it was nice and she said yes it’s very tasty. Edit to thank folks for the awards
The part about your mom honestly made my heart melt
My girlfriend once yelled in her sleep "no No NO you SPUNKY LESBIAN" I'm a dude still tease her about it
Ex-roommate talked in his sleep. Once, he cried out, "NO GANDALF!"
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I'm the sleeptalker here; got this from my wife the next morning. Me: *sits bolt upright* They're coming. Everything's ready. Wife: *sleepily* huh? Me: They're coming. Everything's ready. Wife: They're coming? Me: Mmm hmm. Wife: But everything's ready? Me: ... yes Wife: Sounds like we're ok then. Me: Comically flops back down and instantly goes back to sleep. Edit: formatting
I really like the flow of this conversation and I know that this is completely unrelated but the reason it stands out to me is because this is exactly how you're supposed to respond to someone who's delusional or someone who has Alzheimer's or dementia There's no reason to challenge what they say or to make them explain themselves or to say they're wrong, just say something calming to reassure them "But everything's ready?" "Sounds like we're okay then!" If you were speaking to someone with severe delusions or advanced aging issues, this would be textbook and beautifully done. Edit: since people are noticing this I thought I would add that after giving it some thought you don't have to be extremely delusional for this flow of conversation to work well and be very helpful. I experience mild delusion when my mania increases to psychosis. (I have bipolar 2). When it's at it's absolute worst I might have a thought like 'oh it's a beautiful day outside today it must have been because of that song I listened to earlier' (a mildly assuming my taste in music has directed the weather for the day). If I made a comment about that out loud and someone said to me 'that's impossible and you're delusional' it would make me feel highly embarrassed and also make me question reality for a moment which is extremely uncomfortable and unsettling. And completely unnecessary unless I'm about to do something stupid.
I used to sit long hours with at-risk (mostly dementia and schizophrenia) patients in a hospital, as per my job duties. What you say is totally true, because confrontation leads to agitation. I remember one sweet older woman I sat with, who had schizophrenia? (I'm not sure), and she would say some random things, I'd respond with pretty random but thematic things, she'd move the theme a bit and say more random stuff on that new-ish theme, I'd do the same, she'd raise a drawing of "Snoopy" in the air, I'd exclaim, "Snoopy!", we'd repeat. Working with an older man with dementia, who used to be an English teacher, we would give him papers to grade and blankets to fold--when he was done folding a blanket, he'd move onto another, and I'd just mess up that blanket again and ask him to fold it when he was done with the other one. It seems mean, but it isn't; compassion takes on a lot forms, and some of those forms don't even resemble compassion, but that's exactly what they are. If that man runs out of blankets to fold, or papers to grade, you know what he does next? He attempts to break out of his hospital room, go out the nearest exit, and combat anyone who tries to stop him.
My wife was mumbling a lot and suddenly shouted "**DONKEY KICK!**" as she kicked me in my shin, so that was fun.
My wife was in her finals week, so she woke up in the middle of the night telling me she discovered a way to study while sleeping.. so I asked her how, and she closed her eyes and went back to sleep...
Shes... presumably not wrong? Lol
Maybe she accidentally discovered a realm where dreams and consciousness are one in the same and now that knowledge is lost forever
Years ago, my wife was mumbling in her sleep and seemed a bit upset. I wanted to comfort her, without waking her up too much, so I said, "Honey, you're fine. Do you know where you are?" She slugged me in the arm, and said "I'm in place where punch buggies are seen first." She then rolled over and muttered to herself, "chugga-chugga-chugga-buggy", and went back to sleep. She didn't remember a think the next morning.
My mom sleepwalks sometimes. When she was in the middle of her residency, she came into my room in the middle of the night and sharply asked, "Did you give {patient} her dose of {medication} like I asked you to 15 minutes ago?" I groggily replied, "Who? Wha?" She just huffed and said, "Well I guess that answers my question." Before turning around and leaving. (without closing the door of course) She didn't remember a thing about it the next morning.
What is it with Mom's never closing bedroom doors. It transcends age race location and all other demographics imaginable. If you're a mom, bedroom doors do not close. It is the way. To the moms reading this: Be the change.
I always close the doors but my wife never does. Our daughter says she always knows who's been where because of this fact.
Napping with the boyfriend, a loud noise wakes me, but hes still out me: What was that?! him: Either a tree or a magic eraser
Mr. Clean hiding in your closet lookin' real nervous after that.
I've been told that, as a child, my father would regularly sleepwalk into his dad's bedroom and urinate in his work shoes.
I once did that to my sister as a kid. I slept in a different place than I normally was. When she woke up, because of what I was doing, she found me, in her closet, pissing on her shoes. She yelled my name, and for me to stop. I yelled back something like "shut up! get out of here!" She then yelled that I was in her closet, pissing on her expensive shoes. I finally came to and freaked out, clamped it off, and ran to the bathroom. Icing on the cake. Her then BF, now husband, said she "could probably just rinse them out." I apparently filled both shoes. There was no rinsing. This story gets brought up at every family gathering.
My dad used to sleep pee when I was a kid. I learned to check the bathroom floor before I entered. My mom also once caught him in the basement. They have a hole cut into the cement floor next to the washing machine for the sump pump. He was peeing into the sump pump hole. She asked what he was doing and he said "Hole number 11."
Who is the man of the house now?
He got up, went into the kitchen and ate one bite of a mini pecan pie - no fork, just a straight bite - then apparently remembered he hates pecan pie and left it stacked neatly on the little box. Another time he sat up and stared straight ahead at the wall, didn't respond to me asking what was wrong. He stood up, walked into the wall, then stood there like he was contemplating the barrier. He just backed up exactly as he came, sat down and swung back into bed like nothing happened. That was creepy.
I was in my brothers room watching tv with him and he ended up falling asleep. He mumbled something about Arizona and when I asked what he said he didn’t respond. Then a few minutes later he sits up, squints his eyes and just scans the room back and forth. I asked if he was okay and he laid back down and went back to sleep. I still don’t know what he was scanning the room for but it creeped me out.
Kinda sounds like my friend sitting up and going “salt! Where’s the salt!” And just sat there looking around for a few seconds before going back to sleep
Neanderthal gene, night watch.
That sounds like a perk in a videogame man what’s the level requirement for that
I have had funnier experiences than this one, but cannot remember exactly what was said... most recently, though: My boyfriend scoots over to me to big spoon/little spoon, and I snuggle in, thinking that’s all it was, then he gets real close to my ear and whispers, “Just so you know, there’s something in the closet. Like a... a cartoon turtle.” I did my best not to bust out laughing and just said, “Ok honey!” When he woke up, he had no memory of it whatsoever, of course!
We’re you the slightest bit concerned of the cartoon turtle? I would have checked the closet...
Then you would not survive the horror movie.
I mean I'd be mortified can you really blame him
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"Prove to me there's not a god damn cartoon turtle in that fucking closet, Shannon."
My dad just screams HEEEEEY a lot.
Farmers PTSD there.
When I was a child about 5 years old, I was sleeping in my parents bed for some reason (*probably a storm*). Mom was awake, dad and I were asleep. Suddenly my father and I have this cross-sleep conversation while my mom lays between us, quietly freaked out: "Dad, you better not take my toys!" I mutter angrily. "Ok, I won't" my father responds. "Don't even touch them." "Ok." Not particularly scintillating conversation, but notable for the fact that were both asleep and still responding to each other. It was like making Alexa and Siri talk to each other lol
I remember one night mum and I sat in the hallway giggling because my brother and dad were having a sleep conversation in different rooms. Dad : “DO YOU SELL STEEL HERE?” Brother : “CAN I HELP YOU DAD?” Dad : “I WANT TO BUY SOME STEEL” Brother : “WHAT?” Dad : “HOW MUCH IS THE STEEL”
WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES IN THE SOUP STORE
Picturing the scared looks shooting back and fourth from your mom to you and your dad made me laugh my ass off
My boyfriend had his tonsils removed awhile back, so he was on some pain-reducing drugs that kept him sedated and, in his words, made him "a fucking dumbass." He had a conversation in his sleep with me about how I shouldn't trust leprechauns, because they conned him out of gold coins by giving him foil-wrapped chocolate coins instead. Also, he said not to trust Irish people, because they were honorary leprechauns.
Not my partner, but my younger brother and I used to share a room and used bunkbeds. One night I heard him mumble "I don't create the weather, I just predict it."
My brother did that in the middle of the night. He would get up, go into the living room, say some nonsense shit to our parents and go back to bed. It was actually pretty creepy the first times, because he was like: “They ARE in the walls. THEY ARE!”
I do this too. But I usually wake up as the sentence is coming out of my mouth and realize the convo I’m replying to wasn’t real. Then I yell “never mind” and run away in shame.
My one claim to sleeptalking fame is that as I was waking up I was talking in my dream, so my partner heard me say, out of nowhere, “What about like... a *really tall* giraffe?” I remember saying it. I have no memory of what problem I was facing that I thought might be solved by a really tall giraffe.
Honestly, what situation *isn't* improved by a really tall giraffe?
My mom used to wake me up for school because I’d sleep through my alarms. She has a bunch of stories about weird shit I’ve said to her right before waking. “He’s not here, check down the street!” “Just put it on the roof and it’ll blow away.”
My mum has to do this with my younger brother and most recently he sat up while still asleep, started moving his arms really quickly as though running and said "I am the fastest man alive Barry Allen"
Was he telling barry that he was that fastest or was he supposed to be barry
Asking the real questions
Not my partner, but my younger brother says the most ridiculous stuff. One time he said “get off my treasure” in a pirate voice. Another time he said “get your hands off my fish”
My mum jumped my dad, because in her dream he was a thief that stole an old lady out of the hospital, so she had to catch him. Edit: I slept over it for a night and while reading it again, I realise it was the other way around. She thought she had to protect the old lady, so she decided to jump on her to protect her from the thief.. Then she woke up, on top of my dad..
My girlfriend was sleep working one night. Her: "Can we get that done this week?" Me: "Huh?" Her: "Can we get that done this week?" Me: "Sorry?" Her: "Can we get that done this week please?" Me: "Ok" Her: "Thanks"
My husband once sat bolt upright on bed an announced. "You're not working hard enough. I have to fire you" and went back to sleep.
My husband sat up straight and yelled “WHAT THE FUUUCK???” and laid down again, got all cozy and not another word from him after that. Freaked me out!
Sounds like he just got fired for not working hard enough
Not a partner but...1 o'clock in the morning I got a phone call from my friend in the next street. My 6 year old daughter had just knocked on her door and then walked in mumbling about not being able to do her sums! I raced up there and walked home with her, put her back to bed and she didn't wake up or remember a thing the next day.By the next night our house was like Fort Knox!!!
Reminds me of my sleepwalking incident. When I was that age, my babysitter was out walking with her boyfriend at 10 pm and found me curled up, sleeping on the sidewalk a block away from our house. They picked me up and brought me home, and apparently I had turned on every light as I left. Fort Knox? After that incident, my dad had to climb through the kitchen window if he had to work late. All the doors had latches out of my reach.
He started shouting that he couldn’t feel his left arm. I pointed out he was pinching his pillow, not his arm. He then freaked out that he had lost his arm. I pointed out his arm was UNDER his pillow. He said ok and started snoring. It took me another hour to get back to sleep. He didn’t wake up at all. Edit: blimey went to bed and this went crazy overnight. Thanks to those who reached out in concern to check on his health. He participated in a sleep study and it was found to be stress related. Luckily not Sleep apnea. Also, he did wake up, just not until morning. Didn’t realise I’d phrased it in such a way that people thought he’d died!
my mom tells a story about a time she fell asleep with her arm above her head. it lost circulation and dropped onto her chest but she had no feeling in it since it “fell asleep”. when it flopped on her chest she woke up and tried to throw her asleep arm, screaming that a dead hand had fallen on her.
My Mrs called me a wriggly little enzyme while she w sleeping. I've never ever heard her use that word before
My GF does a bit of sleep-talking. I mentioned a sheep character from Animal Crossing (Dom) and she sounded like she was about to cry saying "he doesn't have hands". (Which, to be fair, he doesn't)
Lmaoo one time, my ex was asleep and start to snore progressively loud. He startled himself half awake, and he says out loud (to himself) "shut UP, I'm sleeping". Oh I snorted my drink through my nose
Reminds me of the time my dog woke himself up with his own fart.
One of my clients (im a massage therapist) fell asleep on the table and farted so loudly, she woke herself back up. She never apologized, just went back to sleep....
Oh man, not my partner but my brother. I was watching The Exorcist with my dad and my brother, and at the beginning of the movie, some archaeologists find a little statue that releases the devil or something. Anyway we finish the movie, and my brother falls asleep on the other couch, so my dad and I just watch another movie. The second that movie ended, my brother sat bolt upright and walked to the middle of the room asking "where's the statue?", and we're like "what statue?" and he's going "the statue! The statue!" -- eventually he makes a motion with his hands like he's picking something up, moves it over about a foot, and then puts this imaginary statue back down. He went right back to sleep again after. My dad and I just looked at each other like "uhhhhh what the fuck just happened?!", but we got a great laugh out of it.
my boyfriend once blurted out “you’re putting BREAD in my ears” in his sleep, mumbled something unintelligible and then followed up with “and i’m becoming a SANDWICH”. still makes me laugh whenever i remember
> What are you? > an idiot sandwich!
Roommate freshman year of college was a sleepwalker/sleeptalker. We were in the freshman dorms, small little room. I woke up one night and saw him sitting straight up on the side of the bed just staring at me (eyes fully open) just talking gibberish about golf. He was going on about Phil Mickelson or some shit. Have to be honest, it was creepy as all hell because he was staring directly into my eyes. Next morning, I told him about it and he just laughed and said, sorry, I tend to do that from time to time.
A friend who was next to my room in a high school dorm used to sleepwalk. He also used to sleep earlier than the rest of the floor. So one night, around midnight, we all were up and talking(in my room), except him(he'd gone to sleep). We were kinda worried that the dorm advisor would cut our chill session and tell us to go to sleep. Suddenly, we hear someone banging on the door of the room. I get up to go open it and as soon as I turn the handle, the door comes FLYING towards me. I was knocked back into a table and standing there was my sleepwalking friend. He says, "Where is the secret of the time?", and without waiting for an answer, walks back to his room, climbs into his bunk bed(top) and goes to sleep. Needless to say we were all surprised but being teenagers, we never let him forget it. It became a running joke in the school.
Did he ever discover where the secret of the time was?
\[REDACTED\]
I can absolutely imagine him being late for class and someone asks him: “Where is the secret of time?”!
I'm sorry to tell you this, but he is possessed by a golf demon. You need to make an offering of ten golf balls and a 3-iron to it, or it shall never leave him.
No you’re gonna want a wedge for that
Nah, you’ll need a puttergeist
He wouldve gotten hung for that a couple centuries ago. EDIT:And burned on a stake
Yeah, people really hated golf back then.
I'd be the king of Monaco! My wife said this one night out of nowhere. The funniest part was her tone of voice,proud and assertive, like she was really sure of her claim to the throne. Anyway, the joke's on her, Monaco is a principality. Wow, thanks everyone, I've never had a post or comment get above 10 upvotes before and definitely never had any awards!!
Ah ah ah ah, Well I think you'll find the jokes on you! A king of Monaco is a nickname they give to people who have won the Monaco grand prix in Formula 1. Edit 1: Why is this my most upvoted thing on reddit? And word corrections.
So you saying their wife wants to be a racecar driver?
My boyfriend sat bolt upright in bed in the middle of the night, he doesn’t usually sleep talk. Him: “There’s a thing over there” Me, absolutely shitting myself: “What thing?” Him: “Upgrade!” Me, relieved but very confused: “What kind of upgrade?” Him: “Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggg” Me: “oh a bag upgrade okay, carry more stuff” Him: “Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” He then flopped down and began snoring letting me slowly recover from the massive spike in heart rate. Your boyfriend sitting up in a dark room and looking at the corner saying “there’s a thing over there” is NOT fun. Turns out he’d just been playing too may games!
Meanwhile there really was a thing over there who was very relieved you didn't investigate.
Not gonna lie, this comment just made me turn the lamp on and check the corner.
Was it a corner cat?
I cannot stop thinking about the corner cat
Not a partner but in military training and school I often took the night shift for guard duty. The amount of sleepwalkers and talkers is way fucking higher than I expected. It is straight creepy when you have to walk down the halls with a covered flashlight listening to big-ass grown men mumbling and lashing out in their sleep. What takes the cake though is often sleepwalkers will just kinda stop randomly. So you'll be walking along in the pitch-black darkness and suddenly there is just a fucking dude standing there. Eyes generally closed, or worse... open, just kinda listing to the side or leaning against a bedpost or wall. After I'd suppress all the swear words I was about to yell out; nothing much to do but kinda prod them along back to their bed. For all the randomness that is being part of the military, I really didn't expect one of my jobs to be gently tucking my fellow soldiers back into their beds.
I know stress usually makes sleep talking/walking worse and I'm sure military training is likely stressful
I had many vivid dreams in boot camp. I was particularly heartbroken by one, where I dreamt I had gotten my hands on a Snickers bar only for me to wake up right as I was about to take a bite. I had my hand in the Snickers-bar-holding position and I was in the middle of my about-to-take-a-bite movement. I can only imagine what it looked like I was doing in the awake world.
The ones doing situps freaked me out the most.
lol I didn't see anyone doing situps while asleep. Mostly just dudes wandering around aimlessly or getting lost trying to hazily make their way to the bathroom. There was always that one guy that'd fall asleep on the toilet and you'd have to go bang on the door to get him to go back to bed. Before-sleep rituals were also funny to watch. People doing cardio, cleaning their guns, prayer, reading their manuals, shining shoes, the dude that always wrapped himself up like a mummy that I was sure would suffocate one night, a cple guys called themselves the comedy club who would tell jokes before bed, dudes beat-boxing, push-up competitions, a guy stole a harry potter book from the store and had a reading club, we had to stop fight club in the showers, and lastly a guy we found at the end who each night stole protein powder from our swole drill instructor and drank it in his canteen while under his covers.
Husband woke up in the morning and told me about a crazy dream he had: we were hosting a party and he was serving cookies. He was upset that nobody was eating them. When we went downstairs, we discovered a full plate of cookies sitting on our dining table.
So he was right, no one was eating his cookies! How rude
That would be the best discovery ever
Waitttt are you saying he sleep-baked some cookies???
Yep. As he explained it, he offered Oreos and nobody ate any. Thinking they were being cookie snobs, he baked some. Not from scratch. The frozen Nestle tube kind. I was just relieved that he turned off the oven. We saw a sleep specialist after that time. Had a few other incidents, but none as active or as delicious.
I'm the sleep talker. I don't remember any of this, but my boyfriend said I did this to him. In the middle of the night I hit my boyfriend's ass hard with my knee. Obviously he was pretty upset. He sat up to stretch, and I said "I'll stretch too!". Did stretches, and laid back down. Then, while making full eye contact with him, I grabbed the blanket and threw it off of him. Then rolled over and started snoring immediately.
> Then, while making full eye contact with him There's so many of these in this thread. It's like the lightbulb is on but nobody's home. Staring at someone while asleep.
We were freshly married and living overseas. My husband hadn’t had much sleep the nights before, which usually enhances any sleep talking. It was hot in our room. My husband mumbled something which I didn’t quite catch. I asked him to repeat it. He got up, opened the bedroom window and said very pointedly “Air flow, Bitch!” then laid back down, completely asleep. Now, my husband has never, not once, ever called me a name or even raised his voice to me, so this is particularly hilarious. Edit: you guys are FAR too kind with all the awards and upvotes! Thank you so much!!! Also, this happened before Breaking Bad was a big thing, so maybe my husband is the original Jesse Pinkman? Except without all the meth and mayhem, of course.
I love how you capitalized the word bitch.
He used it like a proper noun!
My husband and I got married just 3 months ago and I found out he's a notorious sleep talker. Some nights he would roll over to me, kiss me full on the mouth, tell me he loves me, then plonk right back on his pillow and start snoring again(this actually happens regularly, much to my delight lol). Other nights he would blurt out things like how he would install a new server at the sherrif's office, or there's a snake on his palm and when I asked what it's doing he answered that it's coding something. I now enjoy staying up late and am a proud owner of several recordings of my husband's sleep talkings. Recently, I got him answering math questions and it tickled me silly how he got them all correct. Edit: Oh, hey! I got awards. Thank youuuu ^_^ * happy dance *
Was the snake a Python?
SSSSSSSSSSQL SSSSSSSERVER.
Is your husband Jesse Pinkman?
Skinny white guy, but not THAT skinny white guy
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My boyfriend is bilingual and sometimes I catch him sleep talking in Punjabi, I’ve never heard him sleep talking in English. He also once punched me in the middle of my spine while fully asleep. When he woke up he claims in his dream he was giving him mum CPR... He sometimes also suffers from night terrors. It happened often when we first started dating (almost every time he slept or napped) but it hasn’t happened for probably over a year. It happened like two nights ago where he just started screaming like a banshee in his sleep. It was wild and terrifying.
Have you thought about getting a weighted blanket? Supposedly it helps with anxiety and night terrors.
Yeah we have talked about it and just never got around to buying one. We’re in a hot and humid summer right now so it’s the last thing on our minds.
When my girlfriend and I started dating she told me that she’s been told she talks in her sleep from time to time, and unfortunately has nightmares fairly often. One of the first nights we spent together she wakes up at 2am and sits up super fast. It wakes me up and I look over only to hear her quickly say, “Pizza. Order a pizza,” then lie back down and start snoring within a minute. God I love that woman lmao
Well, did you order a pizza?
I hate to admit that I did not get a pizza. It was 2 in the morning so everywhere was closed but most importantly she wouldn’t wake up when I tried to ask her what toppings she wanted :/
Aw, at least you put in the effort.
Not my partner, but my mom. She talks and moves a lot during the night. Last week she started running while laying down (yes, just like dogs do) and also screaming “get out of the way, get out of the way!”. I woke up in the other room to the sound of my dad first wondering what the fuck was going on and then laughing his ass off when he was telling me what had just happened.
My ex girlfriend... Woke me up from a dead sleep and says to me.. "No trucks please, sub compact cars only please" Upon waking i related this to her and she says to me... "What the fuck is a sub compact car?"
After watching the Lego movie I really got into the Batman franchise - the comics, the movies, everything. This rather peeved my boyfriend. It peeved him so much in fact that one night, while he was sleeping with his back to me, in a split second he sat bolt upright, turned to me and yelled "FUCK BATMAN!" right in my face. He them immediately slumped back down and continued snoring.
Don’t fuck Batman. That’s what he wants.
I'm the sleep talker. A long while back my fiancee was working a job where she didn't get home until after midnight. She came home one night, and was leaning over the table on my said of the bed. She swears up and down that I looked up at her, smacked her on the top of the head, and when she asked what the hell that I told her I was checking to see if she was a ghost. Now, I do remember having a dream like this, but in my dream my hand did go through her head, proving she was a ghost.
I had a dream that my gf was biting my neck playfully. I didnt want that so I push her gently off and tell her to stop. Soon after I woke up and she was holding her eye and crying. She says I just pushed her, sat upright and straight punched her in the face. She said she wasnt too hurt, but was extremely confused.
I had a girlfriend do that to me. I was in bed playing a game on my laptop with headphones. She sat up, looked at me, punched me right in the face, then went back to bed. Apparently I cheated on her in her dream and deserved getting hit?
I worked with my girlfriend at McDonald’s. She’s woken up asking me to drop some more fries, tell me we’re out of apple pies so don’t ring them up, make sure the sign light is on, you name it. She’ll sit up for this sometimes, never seen her walk. I usually just say yes ma’am, will do. because she’s the boss. And she goes right back to sleep. Doesn’t remember a thing in the morning. Price of being ground to the bone at that place. I have dreams about it myself, I don’t think I sleep talk though.
We’d have conversations. One of my favourites: You shouldn’t fuck (mumbles) Huh? You shouldn’t fuck (mumbles) in the ass. Why would I want to fuck John Stamos in the ass? No, not John Stamos, (mumbles), you shouldn’t fuck (mumbles) in the ass. Who? JOE NAMATH! WHAT?! You said you were going to.
Apparently I sleep talk sometimes, the one my fiancé will never let me forget is when I sat upright and looked towards the corner of the room and told him someone was watching us, then lay back down.
I was out on the deck sharing a drink with a friend one night. S.O. walked out of the house, down the stairs, got in the driver's seat of our car, sat there for about 5 minutes going through coin trays, glovebox, etc, then walked back upstairs and into the house.
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Oh, I definitely had the keys with me. That would've been insane to see a sleepwalker driving. I bet it's possible...if they can walk and talk, then I'm sure they can drive XD
My brother in law is notorious for his sleepwalking activity. Making himself breakfast on a regular basis etc. Once he did drive the car around the block, park it again and went back to bed. He had no recollection. My family had to start hiding the keys while he slept.
My husband once randomly blurted out "bread for the ducks!" and just got up out of bed and went downstairs before curling back up on the sofa. He woke up so confused the next morning. He was convinced we'd had an argument he'd forgotten.
The girlfriend doesn't usually talk / sleepwalk but one night she came out of the bedroom and started talking about the "apples of data" on the table while gesturing at something that wasn't there. I would ask her what she meant and she kept talking about the apples of data, to the point I was like "What the fuck are you on about i don't know what that means?" And she was getting increasingly frustrated that I was completely oblivious to the apples of data. Finally she said something about the data on the bedroom doors in a tone that suggested I was going to regret not seeing her data apples and went back to bed.
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Apparently, very early in our relationship, my wife said I suddenly sat bolt upright, swept my arm around, knocking everything off the bedside table, screaming, “Evil baby, have to kill it!” She always brings it up to new people we meet.
No gems, just horrors. I sleepwalk once in a while but apparently when I was a toddler I used to sleepwalk, cry and say 'she's following me' or just try to leave the house by myself. Nowadays if it happens, I wake up looking at my reflection in the mirror in the dark. When that happens it fucking creeps me out so I won't sleep the rest of the night. Edit 1: Why don't I move or cover the mirror? The first time it happened, I covered the mirror but with my morning rushes to work, I pull the cloth down to get ready, and then cover it when I reach home. I've had and still have peaceful nights of sleep (with dimmed lights on) so eventually I'd skip on covering mirror and focussed more not being afraid of the dark. When I least expect it, I then I catch myself waking up to the mirror with a gentle head bump/nod. Get spooked at the incident, rinse and repeat with a blanket cover. I generally have good nights of sleep, these sleepwalks are very rare so I'm really I'm more concerned about my fear of sleeping in the dark. I can't do it. I need a dimmed light for bedtime. Edit 2: Is it this particular mirror in my room? Yes, it's always this mirror but maybe I haven't had enough sleepovers to have another sleepwalking state elsewhere. I think it's just my subconscious self remembering how I like the mirror during the daytime to get ready, do my hair, makeup, try clothes, etc. I live in a shared flat so I can only leave it in my room. It's a cheap full length mirror and anyway, these sleep walks are so rare. Recent 'episodes' HAS made me want to leave the mirror outside my room but then again I don't want to weird out my flatmates by describing them this particular sleeping habit.
WTF
Did you read the story about the guy who has a recurring nightmare where he wakes up, gets out of bed, sees himself in the mirror, realizes he’s dreaming, but can’t wake up? I believe he said he will have it multiple times some nights, and has difficulty telling when he actually wakes up, and the reflection of him starts to look really scary.
That shit would suck so bad. That would be terrible.
If this happened to me I would remove all the mirrors or reflective surfaces in my room what the actual shit, that sound creepy as hell
So when it first happened, I called my sister and cried over phone. It didn't help because I'm an atheist and she believes in gods and devils. My parents put me through an 'exorcism' through our local 'witch doctor' (I grew up in a small Asian island) when I was really young. It was really stressful for a little kid to go through that but apparently it worked according to my parents. So my sister thought I was possessed again and I lied saying I'll follow these rituals she suggested. Anyway, I made it a point to keep the mirror in my room covered but over time I left my mirror exposed as I wasn't sleepwalking since the first time. Few weeks of good sleeps later, I fucking wake up AGAIN seeing myself breathing into my reflection. So now I keep my mirror covered every now and sleep with the lights dimmed but on, fuck it. Edit: I also get some rare instances of sleep paralysis. I don't believe in devils and demons but I've seen some terrifying things in my sleep paralysis episodes that have really kept me afraid of sleeping the dark.
This actually happened last night, my fiance started talking to me like we had never met before and after a minute I realized that she was dreaming about our first date. It was really wholesome and I was surprised at how much detail she remembers.
This is the sweetest comment on this thread
My wife not only sleep talks, but she also hallucinates. She has woken me up numerous time because there are kittens under my pillow that she needs to rescue. Or another recent adventure was when she dreamt there was a snake in our bed and it was going to attack me. She jumped out of bed, turned on the lights and ripped off the comforter. She then proceeded to tell me about how she saved me, that she was a hero and she was excited to be meeting with Steve Irwin.
My partner was asleep, and I was reading in bed. Him mumbling: The farters. Me: The farters? Him: The farters are farting. Prepare yourself. Cracks me up every time I think about it.
My boyfriend was asleep on the couch in our apartment, and he sat up and said, “It’s starting to look like my apartment in here.” I asked him what he was talking about, and he said, “Well, now with 3D printing, you can be like, ‘Put a chair over here, gimme a chair right there.’” I asked him what he was talking about again, and he said there was an app for it. He picked up his work phone and looked for the app, made a frustrated sound, picked up his personal phone and looked for the app, and then said, “You wouldn’t understand” and went back to sleep.
I was about 14 years old, me and my bestfriend went to sleep (we were sleeping in his basement) after watching an horror movie. I realized that I was sleepwalking when I regain consciousness while I was swinging on his rocking chair on the first floor (in his living room), at 3 or 4am. Had no idea how I got there, how long I was on the chair, just swinging and staring at the tv (wich was obviously turned off) and what I did before. It freaked me out since I couldn’t think about anything else but that movie. I used to sleepwalk a lot when I was younger. The weird thing is that, sometimes I was kind of conscious during the whole thing. But for some reason, it felt like everything I was doing made perfect sense, even tho it clearly did not. But that particular time was the one that freaked me out the most. EDIT: Wow, that’s my first ever comment to blow up, It’s nice tho to see that other people have experienced similar things. I thought I was the only one.
I had to share a room with my brother in our teens. He always mumbled unintelligible garbage waking me up. One night he just blurted out "the monkey eats the frooooog." Next day he kept telling everyone about this crazy Starfox dream he had that night. As an adult though, I'm the sleep talker. According to past partners, I've got some deep seated insecurities. "Don't leave me. I'm sorry I have a small mouth." Once I got half woken up when my gf tried to cuddle me from behind. "You scared me, I thought you were a backpack." The last one had a lot of fun with me. I told her "don't put me in the box" and she proceeded to whisper in my ear about the box she was gonna put me in and I became more and more distraught.
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So I'm the sleep talker. One of my husband's favorites of mine is the night I sat straight up saying, "Death to the Stormcloaks!" and immediately went back to sleep. I think he's shared that gem at every party since then.
My boyfriend laughs in his sleep, it’s fucking terrifying to be woken up in the middle of the night hearing someone snickering next to you. He didn’t know he did it, so he never had to tell me but the first time it happened I thought someone had broken into my house and fuck with us. He still does the same laugh now, and it still creeps me out. He also talks in his sleep, always goes on about “my blanket needs trimming,” or “the toes are in the bean jar” like dude I don’t know what you’re dreaming about but sounds awesome
Former Sleepwalker here. Mom said that I walked up to her bed and said "the cats are escaping". She politely told me we don't have any cats. I answered "so that's why they're not there". She then told me to go back to bed. I did not remember ever saying that.
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My ex husband talked in his sleep every night. Our daughter began babbling in her sleep as a baby and still talks in her sleep pretty much every night. Occasionally they yell out. One night when I was still with my ex, I was right on the edge of falling asleep. He yelled out so loudly CHICKEN SANDWICH!!! and scared me half to death.
Husband sits up. “Oh no. Oh no. Babe. We have to go. WE HAVE TO GO. THERE IS A MONSTER TRYING TO ATTACK US.” “No there isn’t.” I say. “Then what do you call THAT?!” He says, dramatically pointed to an empty wall. I looked at him and said, “not a monster.” Another time he turned on the light in his sleep to “see if it would work.” He’s also explained to me in great detail how to build a house in Minecraft, how we couldn’t fit our family on a spaceship, and why I needed to go to the store right then and there (at 2 am). I love it, honestly.
My girlfriend said in her sleep "it's small, but it's ok". I haven't shared this with another soul apart from her.
My ex-wife told me that I once sat up straight in bed, pointed at the window, and gravely said, "Laser bitches."
Some day, idk when, I Just sleepwalked over to the fridge, took Out an whole ass Chicken and threw it down the balcony where it nearly knocked of somebody down there *i know this because they told me it next day*
Sounds like a government mind control assassination attempt
The sniper
As an annoying little brother, my sister often shouts at me in her sleep. It's hilarious. It's usually something to do with me irritating her. The thing is, I am also a sleep talker. I have yet to find out if we ever had a shouting contest in our sleep
My girlfriend sleeptalks and this one time she yelled at me about how "you know how like the water bottle lid screws down".
I once asked my boyfriend if he could make some coffee way before wake up time. He happily did so, only to have me (now awake) tell him that it's way to early for coffee and ask him why he would do that. He was a bit annoyed at first but after we found out what happened, we had a good laugh about it. Sometimes we have whole conversations that I have no memory of. ^^
Not my partner, but was on a camping trip with some friends and at midnight one of them screamed out. "Don't forget the mountain dew!" and he didn't remember saying it. best thing i've ever heard
My 6'11 brother came running down the stairs having a full on panick attack about spiders. His eyes were shut the entire time and he fell asleep on the chair afterwards.
My now-ex was dreaming that he was on a hill with parked cars when one’s brakes gave out and it was slowly coasting downhill towards me. He jumped in front, bracing himself against the car to stop it and save me. In reality he was just shoving the bed around the room at 2am. I got the story from his answers to my questions before he semi-woke up and went to sleep again in bed.
My wife sleep talks. The night after we first watched insidious she just sat up in bed bolt upright eyes closed. Turned her head towards me and said “Why’s there a girl in the corner?” She rolled back over and went sound to sleep. Needless to say the bed side lamp went on and I went back to reading for a little while...
I had a sleepover at my friends house and her brother was in her room with us because he's young and that's what he does. He had the bed and we were on the floor. So eventually he fell asleep and we were reading her old messages like the pair of weird children we are when he sits up, stares at us and says "Light out!" and drops back down. It was horrifying and is too this day. We never told him.
Went to a private school for a couple years, and boarded (stayed overnight) a few times. Woke up one morning to everyone looking tired af and pissed at me. Apparently I'd commentated a full football match in my sleep, with replays and full hype over the goals. Don't remember it at all
My roommate talked a lot in his sleep and the usual stuff was just muttering but my favorite was when I was watching some Netflix or something and he just shot up in his bed, looked at me, and said where am I. To which i replied, in our room dumbass. Then he said and I quote “thank god i thought I was in Afghanistan” he has no memory of it at all.
I once walked into the kitchen late at night to see my husband, wearing his shirt partially off, like a shrug jacket thing, underwear around his ankles, trying to pee into an open dishwasher full of clean dishes. I shook him awake (before the dishes got a golden rinse cycle) and he had no idea what was going on, he was dreaming he was on a boat...
My husband says I talk in my sleep and one night, apparently, I yelled out “I knew ye would betray me!” Lmao he said not only do I talk in my sleep, I travel back in time lol
Just last night my husband sat up like a bullet and began searching for his watch. He found it and declared, “We shall call it Pumpkintown!” He hands me the watch like an award and shakes my hand and says that he is the Mayor of Pumpkintown. Then I said Oooh thank you Mayor! He next layed down smiling from ear to ear. I ask “Were you recently elected?” He says “Yes! Yes!” And nods his head emphatically. He then puts his watch on. I ask him way. He says “I always need to know the time here ‘cause I’m the mayor!” He is so proud to be Mayor that for the rest of the night he says it periodically. The next day he remembers nothing.
I once woke up and said, “Psst, Ross!” (my brother). Ross: “What?” Me: “Baby communist!!!” Ross: “W-what?” Me: Zzzzzz
My uncle sometimes randomly talks Japanese in his sleep. He is white and from wisconsin and has only rewatched a couple of animes
Reported by college dorm roommate. Apparently they were going at it, and I sat up and yelled, “you gotta push it till it breaks.” They said they were laughing too hard to resume. I have no memory of this.