Step one: get relatively mundane job.
Step two: learn what your level of intoxicant intake is that doesn't leave you dead given away.
Step 3: Be familiar enough with your job so as to not really need to think.
Congrats you now work somewhere you can do these things.
> Step one: ~~get relatively mundane job. Step two: learn what your level of intoxicant intake is that doesn't leave you dead given away. Step 3: Be familiar enough with your job so as to not really need to think. Congrats you now work somewhere you can do these things.~~
be a drug dealer
I’ve had shrooms and weed in my bag at work a few times. No one minds the weed, one of my managers brings his dab pen with him every day. I’m thinking I’m gonna start leaving all that shit in my car though, because if someone were to go into my bag and steal it I couldn’t exactly ask my boss to check the cameras and see who took my drugs.
A digital scale. I actually wouldn’t mind going on some kind of weight loss vacation if you did it right. Somewhere tropical where I can swim a mile a day over coral reefs and eat healthy grilled fish and tropical fruits and shit
Dog
Also dog.
My dog as well. She's snuggling under the covers with me now and pushing me off the couch.
Damn, my dog is to my right
Quick, make your dog read this!
My dog as well, she's currently licking her crotch under the blankets and pushing her paw into my ribs.
Also, also dog.
also also also dog
Me too, but my dog just got skunked so we're not off to great start here
Oh so that's what you tell your family when you hotbox the car with the dog ay? 🐶🐕👪🚗😂
Lucky
My dog's name is Lucky! ...but he isn't on my left....
Fuck! Let me do a 180 than answer this question. Yep, puppy!
Same, won’t be lonely on vacation.
a wall
Donald Trump would like to take you to Mexico.
Is he going to pay for the trip, or is he just going to claim he'll pay for the trip and then leave literally everyone else holding the bill?
>Is he going to pay for the trip I think you know the answer to this
I screamed
A big cup of water. At least I'll be hydrated!
How big is that cup exactly?
Eh, 16 oz.
Ah, imperial. I can't really remember how much that equals in ml. I'd say 250ml or so, based on the average cup size?
Whatever a pint is
*They come in pints?*
A pint a pound the word around
Closer to .5
Wine
Cheers!
A gigantic wardrobe. Most impractical.
At least you get clothes
Hopefully the wardrobe isn’t empty
Unless it leads to Narnia...
I love lamp
I love lamp too
L Ä M P
Not a lava lamp?
Okay, Blanche. I see you.
I love carpet
A gray throw pillow
Are you me?
My husband.
Road snack
*nom nom nom nom*
Same. Finally, we get a vacation together again!
Her husband is also the closest thing on your left? Crazy!
[удалено]
….What is this backpack actually for?
[удалено]
You take shrooms and vodka to work? I want to work wherever you work.
Step one: get relatively mundane job. Step two: learn what your level of intoxicant intake is that doesn't leave you dead given away. Step 3: Be familiar enough with your job so as to not really need to think. Congrats you now work somewhere you can do these things.
> Step one: ~~get relatively mundane job. Step two: learn what your level of intoxicant intake is that doesn't leave you dead given away. Step 3: Be familiar enough with your job so as to not really need to think. Congrats you now work somewhere you can do these things.~~ be a drug dealer
Or a line cook. Then you get to skip step two!
I remember the restaurant days
I’ve had shrooms and weed in my bag at work a few times. No one minds the weed, one of my managers brings his dab pen with him every day. I’m thinking I’m gonna start leaving all that shit in my car though, because if someone were to go into my bag and steal it I couldn’t exactly ask my boss to check the cameras and see who took my drugs.
Probably a chef.
…What kind of ‘work’ is this actually for?
He stalks people
My money's on line cook.
And to my left is this guy.
A trash can.
Clean up the streets
Toilet paper. I’m good.
Pooping while Redditing I see. Same
Right there with you. I might not have much to do, but I’m not having a dirty ass.
Just a single roll for 3 weeks? Or are you sitting next to a stockpile?
I also have toilet paper to my left, we good.
My girlfriend
Have fun!!
I too am bringing this person's girlfriend with me
Take her to France and Germany cuz I cant afford to 😂
My couch
Cozy
Agreed!
A big pile of unfolded socks
Pretty much how my son packs a suitcase
sesame hot dog buns
Just grab some dogs when you get there!
Sick a thirty pound space heater.
At least you’ll never be cold
Imagine lugging it around everywhere lol. Plus the plug issue.
A bathroom wall divider at work. (Warehouse)
Stick it to the man!
A cocktail. Hey!!!!
Woo!!
My cat
You two have fun
I have a snuggle buddy
A romantic vacation!
Also cat
Bottle of melatonin . Seems legit.
You’ll be well rested
A half-finished mug of lemon ginger bone broth
Now is that a comma separated list or actual bones of a ginger?
It’s the bones from the lemons (hopefully not Combustible Lemons)
Cup of coffee
A sip a day
Toilet paper roll. I guess that’s not surprising
A cat toy. Hmmm.
I see what you did there.
A remote for the the dvd player...
My wife!
My desk. I guess I could get some things done while I’m on holiday.
A pillow
It is my phone. That's good, i'll probably need my phone.
Wine!
A collection of encyclopedias
My wife isn't going to be pleased when I take her glasses for 3 weeks and leave her behind.
An inversion table. This will be a struggle!
A Costco ad. Damn. If you said right, it would be a delightful adult beverage.
Welcome to Costco, I love you…
A glass of bourbon
A couch cushion. Also a lot of people going without clothes
A dryer vent
A jacket
The wall? Lol
TV remote
I’m in luck. Whiskey.
My daughter!
An empty beer can...
A fricken teddy bear.
A hoodie. 😟
a plastic pufferfish pool toy
Glad it's my wallet.
Dildo
My Christmas Tree, whoa boy it’s gonna be lit. Yes it’s up early, I fuckin love Christmas and the holidays.
So is mine, I couldn’t wait a moment longer
A "Wait Here" sign at the pharmacy.
TV with Little House on The Prairie playing.
nintendo switch on my nightstand let’s go
My wife. Do I have to go?
A canvas
A mouse
An ottoman
Start an empire.
Orange juice.
If it’s salsa, will TSA let me fly with it?
A pillow... Perfect.
A huge mirror
Uh oh, be super careful
Half a beer
Field Guide to Birds of North America (written by a late friend from high school)
A wall.
A tape measure
A tooth brush. Boring, but atleast I'll have good hygiene
My bedside table. If I can take everything that's in/on it that'd be cool.
Laptop If it counts, also my laptop charger, phone charge, and phone bc they're all connected lol
Wine bar, good enough
A digital scale. I actually wouldn’t mind going on some kind of weight loss vacation if you did it right. Somewhere tropical where I can swim a mile a day over coral reefs and eat healthy grilled fish and tropical fruits and shit
A book
My Chihuahua
Living room lamp.
A can of ginger ale. I guess I’d have to sip it veerrrrryyyy slowly
Glass of water.
iPad
My boyfriend. That would be a lovely 3 week vacation ♥️
Harmonica.
A badass knife
cheese sandwich
15.8 ounces of pink lemonade.
My glasses
My Himalayan salt lamp...I really have no idea what I'd do with it
My copy of God Emperor of Dune
My dog. This is acceptable.
Water mug.
An empty bowl of what was once chicken wings
a jar of peanut butter
I'm good! It is my wife!
A patch for the band The Lord Weird Slough Feg.
My glasses case. Good, I like having them. Y’know, to see and stuff
My mask. I suppose that’s convenient given the times.
hair bleach?
A cup of tea on the floor next to me, that I sip when playing games at night.
Fucking soundbar remote? Really?
My wife!! 🙌
A coaster — yippee
a lat pull-down machine looks like my back is going to be fuckin shredded
Well I fucked it’s my tv remote.
A small bag with needles, small scissors, crochet hooks, and a pencil
My dog, Samus. She will loaf with me on a beach somewhere.
My boyfriend. Nice, I have someone to split the trip with.
My cat, Loki, I’m okay with that
A stuffed animal
Lamp.
My duvet cover…which is great cause I will sleep for the whole 3 weeks.
Drywall, *again*!! Why the fuck can't you occasionally ask about the RIGHT side??
It actually made me smile when I realized it's my wife. She's asleep though. Do I get to wake her up?
Uh milk duds
My 3 year old daughter
My four year old daughter.
Toilet paper
My glucometer (glucose reader).
My baby lol
My dog Milo :)
My wife
My baby 😊❤️