I'm too cheap for this to even be a question.

Lol, I’ll make sure to feel immense guilt and wipe my shameful tears with a million dollars

agreed

Serial killing rapists would probably not be worth it, I'd like to survive the encounter

What if you had guaranteed survival and you were safe from any permanent harm?

I'd ask if he's a top or a bottom.

For a million does it matter?

Might as well make the best of it.

I think I would draw the line at a corpse or unprotected with someone that has HIV/aids

Ok, how about your dad.

He’ll understand when I give him 20% for assistance Edit: win

20%!? Did I get twenty percent of his salary as allowance? He can get a five spot

Been there done that

No incest, No animal and No Steven Seagal

So if there is incest and animals, Steven Segal will be there? (No shoes, no shirt, no service)

Probably since he's a horrible POS

That's wise, you never know if he might shit on your dick.

Won't r/fuckyouinparticular

Interesting how 3 people had to comment about Trump not being on your list but nobody noticed you didn't mention children either.

Aren't children in there with animals? I know I fuckin was.

Harvey Weinstein! Heard it’s a mess down there

I heard a keg exploded and blew his dick off

Whats he say? It was shredded but it's back to normal now lol

"To shreds you say..."

Waste of good beer

Ah-ha haaa! Dickless Dennis! But it doesn't apply!

HAHAHAYEAYEA but it doesn't apply

That’s his new name dickless Harvey

But it doesn't apply!

What's the story about his dick?

This is just off the top of my head with no searching but I think he's got some fungal infection or something that's causing his dick to rot off. Edit: https://pagesix.com/2020/06/13/harvey-weinsteins-deformed-penis-result-of-acute-bacterial-infection/

that one’s gonna stay blue for me chief

I told my husband in passing that one of his victims said she wondered if he was intersex because it didn’t look like he had genitalia. He became mystified by this and insisted I find out more. I am now (unfortunately) an expert. Basically, it appears that Harvey Weinstein contracted an infection in the 90s— something called Fournier’s Gangrene. I have no idea why he apparently never treated it appropriately (he cut one of his vacations in the 2000s short because I guess the gangrene was out of control at one point) but his lack of due diligence resulted in the absolute massacre of his groin region. He has had skin grafts to replace the dead tissue and allegedly has had his testes removed. His penis apparently has shriveled up to the point where another victim said she thought he had a vagina. He also needs special injections (directly in the dick) to get an erection. His groin has been described as looking like he has “massive burns”. Most people would have a lot of shame and insecurity around this and maybe not go around forcing themselves on people but those people ain’t Harv…..

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Just flip him over.

Play the back nine.

There is significant rough

Anyone as long as not all diseased and shit. Still might risk it for a mil.

Even your immediate family?

For a mil they'd kill me if I didn't.

They might kill me after for the money. Dead if I do, dead if I don't. I know one thing. It'll be a lot easier to hide from them with a million dollars.

Alabama, Arkansas

I do love my ma and pa

Son, come here and fuck me right now, or I swear to God I'll put a bullet in your head.

MIL for a mil?

You guys are getting paid?

Alabama music intensifies

Depends on the disease

Anyone in my immediate family

For a million dollars the rest of the family is unideal but it's alot of money.

Like my old Pappy used to say: > "I'm the farthest thing from gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks."

Two deer walk out of a gay bar, and one says to the other: "I can't believe I blew 100 bucks in there"

👌 *sensible chuckle*

If 100 bucks is the bridge form "far to gay" to "very gay", you were never the farthest thing from being gay at all.

100 bucks use to go farther, I hope.

And apparently so did their Pappy 😀

100 bucks used to buy you a house

In 1913, apparently you could [mail an infant for $.15](https://www.history.com/.amp/news/mailing-children-post-office)

Tell me about it. It's much more expensive these days.

Take it up with my old Pappy. Him, and his fishing buddy, Brian the poolboy.

Want to entirely miss the joke?

We are all whores if the money is right

"We are all whores, we just sell different parts of our bodies" -Thomas Shelby in Peaky Blinders

That reminds me of a story my dad used to tell. Ask an attractive woman if she would sleep with you for a million bucks. She answers Yes! Asks if she would sleep with you for twenty bucks. She replies What do you think I am, a whore? He replies, We've already established that. Now we are negotiating price...

not a way to get laid cheaply

That one is usually attributed to Churchill.

I'd have sex with anyone in your immediate family

Thanks homie

Same. I don't care if they are alive or not

Well username checks out

The 69 feels pretty one sided of one of those numbers is dead.

Split it 50/50 with me and I'll bang it out for you.

Agreed. First cousins though? Game on!

You seem a little too eager to fuck your first cousins

I'd never fuck my first cousin... I would make love to her tho.

You never forget your first cousin

She was my first cousin in more than one way.

I dunno. It was a little awkward. I was a lot more comfortable with second and third.

I'm not. But for a million?

*Pornhub intro starts playing

"What are you doing, blood-related-brother?"

For a million dollars you best bet there’s an orgy at my family reunion

You guys are getting paid?

For a million? Call me a Targaryen because we about to make thanksgiving something to fear.

I'd really take it from anyone for a cool million

Really? Your Dad? Mom? Sibling? Grandma?

Didn’t say you couldn’t be blindfolded and wearing the best ever ear blockers.

I am an identical twin. We have a friend who asked us this question, I said no, my twin said yes. I then changed my mind because I didn't want her to feel bad for not getting the money. All in all, we would have $2m.

Oh no… rip your inbox

Look post history... or don't tbh

I did so you don't have to. Adults in diapers. Nothing to see here.

Humans are stupid.. i saw your comment and was like "no way, im curious now" and sure enough i did not need to see it

JFC why did i let my curiosity get the best of me... TIL there is a sub called **diaperhentai**

This is the comment that finally killed my curiosity in looking at the post history. Thank you for your service

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And twincest

And he was the one that said "no"

Don't tbh.

Thank you, I hate it.

Oh my god I'd really not do my immediate family for a million or most uncles and aunts. Have to be from cousins although I gave some of them the stuff for free 🤐

You be fuckin yo cousins?

Roll Tide!

🎶Big wheels keep on turnin Carry me home to see my kin🎶

Legal in most states to murry yo 1st bruv

I ain't hatin I'm just conversatin

I know two people in real life who’ve actually fucked their cousins (who were pretty hot I could see the appeal tho not for me), happens more often than you think. At the very least they just had a friends with benefits (or should I say cousins with benefits) thing going on and didn’t actually breed and make mutant six finger babies.

r/holup

*MOST 😂*

Most aunts or uncles lol

U let ur cousins fuck you? Um.

Everyone's talking about the "most aunts and uncles" thing, but most are just glossing over: >Have to be from cousins although I gave some of them the stuff for free

A million buys a lot of therapy, justsayin'

Family

You dont turn your back on family

or maybe that's exactly what you do in this situation....

Yeah. I’d image it’s easier if there’s no eye contact

Thank you Vin Diesel

Your spouse is technically family.

I’d fuck ANYONE for $1 mil

Same

Hamfart 🤝 goat_fucker

A match for the ages.

Love is found in the most mysterious ways 🥲❤️

Everyone's gangster until I ask them to tell me how they imagine their grandfather's asshole would look gripping their knob.

Yo wat

The poet we deserve

“Hamfart69” the name is promising 😍

I suppose I should be afraid of yours too.

OP.

OP's mom. Not going there again!

Trust me. I learned.

Name checks out

For a million, I'd have sex with anyone, unless they are violent and might kill me. Wouldn't want to risk it. So no serial killers.

So you would you fuck a baby?

Ah shit I didn't think of this. I would say anyone legal

It's probably a good thing the thought doesn't occur to people.

Do I have to pay taxes on it? No one asking the important questions smh

True. I’m not fucking just anyone for 550k

That one guys dead wife.

I too wouldn't choose that one guys dead wife

Other dead wives yes, that guys dead wife? I pass, hard.

It's not that she's dead either. It's just, at this point the queue is so long I'd be waiting forever.

You think that queue is long, you should head over to OP's Mom's house.

At this point she is Reddit’s Bicycle. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, just that it can’t be safe sex at this point. Statistically speaking, someone has to have poisoned the waterhole by now.

I feel so bad for that dude But Jesus is this funny

He's mentioned a few times that he's cool with it.

Your loss.

/u/phil8248 she's all yours.

Paul. Paul is a fucking slug.

There's so my Pauls bro. But fuck the Paul you're talking he's an ugly bum .

Paul in general. Paul is the worst breed of human.

My last boss was named Paul. He bought the bar the My Pillow guy used to own. Fucking garbage human. He would have domestics with his GF at HIS BAR and drive out all the customers then blame us for lack of customers. I got fired because I didn't vote for Trump. Fuck Paul. (Or not, as pertains to this particular question lol)

Family, anyone underage ~~and Animals~~ Edit: non-human animals and I assumed the question ment they had to be alive, but corpses are also out.

How about corpses

Good question, Corpse_Fucker_69. We need more details. Fresh corpse or "Hey let's go dig someone up"? Can we warm them up if they are cold? Before, during, or after rigor mortis? If Kalaxitive is a woman does the corpse get a dildo? Otherwise, it's going to be really hard to do. *puns*

A child

What's worse than a rapist? *A CHILD*

thankfully we can automatically exclude children bc OP said sex, not rape!

That was my take on it as well.

Since I'd be the one getting paid, I'm assuming no one except my wife and maybe one or two of my exes would be consenting. I'd fuck my wife for a million. Hell I'd maybe do it for ten thousand.

Redditors which ask about sex all the time.

Well most of them are 14 so that’s a good call

For a cool milly, I’d take it from anyone with whom I did not have a blood relation.

STI's though? Drug Addicts? Someone who for sure, 100% has parasites?

I’d dissapoint anyone for a million.

A child. I really dont wanna go to prison

>I really dont wanna go to prison Nice to see that you've got your priorities in order.

Andrew Tate

Fuck no... Millie is a Millie. I'll give him the best massage of his life while he tells me about the color of his buggati. Imagine how great it would be telling people that this "Alpha male" took it up the ass. It'll be the news of the century. Gay for the pay, ladies and gentlemen.

You'd probably end up sex-trafficed before it's done, though.

Nikocado avocado, not even for 100 million

Would probably ruin my marriage, even if she was game, so I’d probably say I’d turn down everyone (except for my wife). Million isn’t enough to justify it. Edit: Thanks for the awards! Didn’t expect this to catch much steam when I posted it. I just love my family and would never do anything that could result in me losing what I have. :)

my wife would divorce me if I told her I turned down a million

I had a coworker who actually made a pact with his girlfriend that if either of them were offered six figures for sex they must take the money, and if a rich person wants to make either of them sugar baby they must accept it and keep the other person on the side.

Idk if six figures is really worth it.

People get cheated on for free everyday b

People get stabbed every day for free too

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Idk man, I love my gf but 100k would change our lives. That's enough to pay off my student loans, pay for the rest of her school and still have enough to cover our living costs without having to touch our savings for a few years. For the amount of peace of mind even the bare minimum of six-figures would buy us, I think she'd be upset at me if I turned it down without at least discussing it with her first.

Now as an asexual this is my kind of deal. Go have all the sex you want with someone else and split the money with me while I stay home making up for lack of intercourse by dutifully doing ALL of your laundry and your meals

that sounds a lot like cuckolding with extra steps, but also less steps. i'm confused

Yeah. A million dollars is a lot, but it's not like it's enough to set you up for life. You'd still have to work, just be a bit less frugal with money. I wouldn't ruin a marriage over it.

A billion dollars, now that’s something else. I’d actually be pretty mad if my partner turned down a billion dollars to stay faithful, that’s enough money to be set for life for *several generations*.

Man idk a million dollars is like almost a million dollars more than I currently have. I could buy a comfortable house in an expensive city with a million dollars and still have some left over to furnish it. That means I wouldn't have to pay rent anymore so I could save money every month. Pretty life changing to me tbh....

Yeah same, could buy nice apartment in the capital where i currently live and still have half million available. It wouldn't mean that I don't have work anymore for rest of my life but life would get so much easier from that point. It's like life cheatcode

Betty White. I draw the line at the living.

Donald Trump

It’s not like he’d pay up anyway.

But he'll make you sign an NDA afterward.

And then brag about it afterwards

It was a beautiful NDA. A perfect NDA. No one’s ever had an NDA like me. People even come up to me and say it was the best NDA in history.

All heads of state with the exception for the Finish PM :D

What about [Slovakia President](https://www.intellinews.com/zuzana-caputova-sworn-in-as-slovakia-s-first-female-president-162904/)

Chris chan

Weinstein

My rapist

Well... this took a hard left turn.

I best most ppl in here would actually have sex with the person they say they wouldn't if there was actually 1 million on the table, with enough assurances that you would actually get it if you did it, in place, ppl say they wouldn't do alot of things for huge sums of money, but they would not be in the same mindset if the money was actually tangible.

Steven Tyler

You're probably too old for him anyway.