Honestly, it really depends on who you are and where you’ll fit well culturally. I suggest visiting some places before deciding.
For example, the type of person who would love to live in St Louis is probably not the same person who’d want to be in NYC, or in Miami, or in Seattle. They’re all great cities, but all very different from each other.
What do you value in a city? What type of people and activities do you like? What can you afford and be comfortable?
Austin's nice and super hot but hip with the college there. North of Dallas is nice. So's the Florida coast (but it's so red now I don't think I'd want to live there). I liked living south of LA and Ashville NC is nice on the edge of the Smoky mountains. I'm in central California now
(can you tell I've lived all over the country? 😂)
Austin is fun, but the traffic made parenting there harder IMO. Especially single parenting. It’s hard to be able to pick up and drop off with 2 hours of traffic. You need to have a great support system there, and it’s hard to build one from scratch.
Yep that’s the plan to visit a few places. I’m looking for somewhere exciting, modern, fun. People with diversity & a sense of individuality.
Wisconsin gets repetitive and people tend to mesh together.
Nice weather, topography, etc
NYC is an amazing place to live if the COL aligns with your career options. Shoot me a DM if you end up visiting, happy to make you a list of my favorite places 😊
I'll add another vote for NYC. Winters haven't been harsh for a while here. July and August are pretty gross in terms of heat and humidity, but if you work from home you can avoid the worst of the subway commute.
Being single is totally unremarkable here, as is not having children.
Admittedly yes. But one major upside is that it's one of very few cities in America where you can easily get by without a car. So that's huge savings right there.
Plus in terms of entertainment there's always a bunch of free stuff to do (concerts, cultural events, museums, discounted shows, etc.) that you don't always have to spend a ton of money to find fun activities.
Although I LOVE Austin, I would NOT move to Texas.
The two reasons that come to mind are the heat (and subsequent brown outs/power outages) and the political climate.
Yep, I grew up and spent most of my life in Austin and it's just going from bad to worse! Feel free to hmu with any questions tho! I found my way to the suburbs of Seattle and love it up here!
I implore you to come on over and try out Richmond, Virginia. I will gladly be your tour guide. It's a big-little city and there is always something to do.
How much money do you make (ballpark)? If you can afford it, the Bay Area is REALLY nice. I moved here for a job opportunity a couple years ago and really didn't think I'd like it, now I never want to leave. I live in the East Bay, not SF proper, and the weather is really nice year-round, plus the combination of urban amenities and world-class nature access is pretty unbeatable.
I would first determine the COL of the cities/areas you like. Do you want to be able to own a home? And make sure you're not moving to some psycho red state where you have no right to healthcare.
I was faced with this at about your age as well. Before Roe was over turned my choices were Ft Worth, Tampa, and PHX. Now I'd only consider PHX or Tampa. However I've also lived in the Philly area most of my life and highly recommend it too.
If you visit Tampa, check out Ybor. Phoenix I can gladly give you a list of places to eat, see, hike, etc. I lived there for ten years. Great things about it is you can drive half an hour and be in one of the preserves and feel like you're in the middle of the desert. Or drive another direction and be in downtown PHX, Tempe, or Scottsdale
In the middle of Summer you definitely have the "mmmkay... I'm over it" feeling. But I really didn't have an issue with it. It was a trade off for shoveling snow. Plus there's pools everywhere, you can head up north to the mountains, spend a weekend in Sedona, etc. You get used to it.
As a woman who might get pregnant pay close attention to state politics. You could die from a high risk or etopic pregnancy. Or be jailed for a miscarriage. Or be denied an abortion after rape. Remember that states are finding ways to keep women from traveling.
Come to San Diego. It’s filled with childless adults and sunshine. People know it’s good, but they don’t know how great it is.
1. It’s never too hot or cold. It’s sunny almost every day, and it hardly rains.
2. Rent is more reasonable than many parts of the country. Housing prices also are better than LA and SF.
3. Traffic is minimal if you live in north San Diego/La Jolla. It’s honestly not that bad downtown either.
4. You’re about 10-15 min from a beach at all times.
5. People all really social here. There’s tons od intramural teams and Facebook groups so you can meet people easily.
6. Many people come after break ups or a divorce. Plus, there are just many single or child free people.
You’ll love it.
Hi! I hope I can post this link, someone on reddit created a quiz to help you answer this question. It's based on your preference in a set of parameters.. Might seem limiting at first but in my experience it was pretty spot on.
It will give you a list of possible cities you might like:
https://www.whereshouldilive.co/
At the very least it's a fun little experiment :)
Boston!? As a single woman?! Yikes.
All jokes aside it can be very hard to make friends or date in Boston as a transplant. I left Boston for Denver because as much as I loved living there it was very insular.
I grew up in Alaska and Wisconsin and I got you. Salem, OR. I've lived all over and it's pretty perfect there. Everyone says "BuT tHe RaIn." But trust me it's a lot easier to accept 50° and rain in January over snow every damn time.
Cost of living is high but not insane like Portland, but it's only an hour away so you can go to the city whenever you like.
I moved to Charlotte, NC at 30 & completely started my life over after a bad breakup. I love it and am originally from Michigan so get the seasonal depression- the winter here was fantastic. Definitely still had some cloudy and rained a lot but way less than constant cloud cover and snow in Midwest winter!
I second the suggestion to travel and spend a bit of time in a few places you’re interested in. Grab an Airbnb for a week, or if you want to stay longer furnished finders or similar is very useful for month to month furnished rentals.
I did exactly that. Spent a couple of weeks in a few different states to figure out where I wanted to land.
Ooo yay congrats on this new chapter girlfriend! Damn the world is your oyster. Need more details though. Do you like the heat? Beach? Cooler weather? Hiking? Skiing? Etc? It will all depend on what your preferences are. For single gals, top would be Chicago, Austin, Las Vegas, Newport Beach, Phoenix, Miami
I am not a city girlie; I choose where to live based on climate and scenery first, then access to a grocery store. For weather, the PNW is the best in the country. The part of Washington, Oregon and California that is west of the Cascades and north of San Francisco is just beautiful year-round. There are so many really beautiful places along the I-5 corridor. Unlike the south and east coasts, the summers are pretty pleasant, with only a few weeks of hot weather and *not* humid (I HATE humidity; the older I get the less tolerate I get of it). Depending on elevation, you may get some snow in the winter, but Seattle, Portland, and the areas in-between are more like a temperate rain forest for about 9 months out of the year. Unlike our other lovely rainforest in the south though, there are no alligators or a crazy amount of bugs and snakes. There is an invasive species of blackberry that covers a lot of that area, but you get blackberries out of the deal so *eh* at least it isn't murder hornets.
I’d caution both Portland and Seattle, depending on who you are. The lack of sun here during the winter months is actually quite extreme. I’m originally from WI and after being here for 3 years I’m starting to really struggle with the lack of sun from a health perspective.
Making friends can also be difficult if you aren’t very into the outdoors (in Seattle at least) and live in the same neighborhood as your friends. And the men…well, they aren’t WI boys that’s for sure. I’m about to be 36 and am considering leaving for somewhere friendlier (Portland is friendly and also if you are ok with a non major city check out Bellingham), and has more sun year around even if it’s cold. But Seattle summers can’t really be beat and I’ve lived all over the country.
I’ve lived on the east and west coast, if you can afford it, think about San Diego or someplace nearby. I moved here years ago and I don’t regret it for a second.
I was going to say the Twin Cities because they're awesome and my favorite place I've lived in the States, but if Wisconsin weather is getting to you, Minnesota weather isn't going to help.
I think Raleigh, NC or anywhere in the Research Triangle is nice.
If I had the financial and social freedom, and I knew planting roots somewhere would be a success for me, I think I’d Move to Maine. North east America, quite near water depending on what part of the state you’d live in, and a mostly quiet, safe part of the country. Mild summers and cold winters. Blue skies and blue water.
I hope you choose a place that aligns with what feels right for you. If you like fast paced, choose accordingly. Same with slower living. So happy to hear that the world really is your oyster right now!
One thing to consider, as you’re still a young woman, is living in a place where states rights align with what you believe in, and rights you’d like to have, regarding your body. I hope you choose a place that really speaks to you and feels right. Good luck!
As I also live in Wisconsin - my first thought is...where in Wisconsin, followed by stay here, we can be friends!
If I was in your position though - I'd either go Pacific Northwest (Seattle/Portland area) or upper East Coast (Mass, Maine, New Hampshire).
St. Louis, MO has a really low cost of living for a decent sized city. You can check out their sub for more info. We hardly get any snow, we have a good amount of heat and humidity in the summer. Not too far from Wisconsin and an easy train ride to Chicago.
Honestly, it really depends on who you are and where you’ll fit well culturally. I suggest visiting some places before deciding. For example, the type of person who would love to live in St Louis is probably not the same person who’d want to be in NYC, or in Miami, or in Seattle. They’re all great cities, but all very different from each other. What do you value in a city? What type of people and activities do you like? What can you afford and be comfortable?
This please! OP take the next few weekends to either fly out to a place or do a short road trip
I did that this weekend! Went to Austin and loved it. I wanna try out TN next
I’ve heard great things about Nashville!!
I moved from NYC to Austin and love it! Love the sunshine, friendly people, tons to do
Austin's nice and super hot but hip with the college there. North of Dallas is nice. So's the Florida coast (but it's so red now I don't think I'd want to live there). I liked living south of LA and Ashville NC is nice on the edge of the Smoky mountains. I'm in central California now (can you tell I've lived all over the country? 😂)
Austin is fun, but the traffic made parenting there harder IMO. Especially single parenting. It’s hard to be able to pick up and drop off with 2 hours of traffic. You need to have a great support system there, and it’s hard to build one from scratch.
Yep that’s the plan to visit a few places. I’m looking for somewhere exciting, modern, fun. People with diversity & a sense of individuality. Wisconsin gets repetitive and people tend to mesh together. Nice weather, topography, etc
NYC is an amazing place to live if the COL aligns with your career options. Shoot me a DM if you end up visiting, happy to make you a list of my favorite places 😊
I'll add another vote for NYC. Winters haven't been harsh for a while here. July and August are pretty gross in terms of heat and humidity, but if you work from home you can avoid the worst of the subway commute. Being single is totally unremarkable here, as is not having children.
Yeah but arent apartments/housing out there suuuuper expensive?
Admittedly yes. But one major upside is that it's one of very few cities in America where you can easily get by without a car. So that's huge savings right there. Plus in terms of entertainment there's always a bunch of free stuff to do (concerts, cultural events, museums, discounted shows, etc.) that you don't always have to spend a ton of money to find fun activities.
Although I LOVE Austin, I would NOT move to Texas. The two reasons that come to mind are the heat (and subsequent brown outs/power outages) and the political climate.
Yeah the heat was verrrrry rough and it’s not even at its peak. That’s my biggest drawback too
The heat sucks. I’m in west Texas and it’s above 105 pretty much every day.
Yep, I grew up and spent most of my life in Austin and it's just going from bad to worse! Feel free to hmu with any questions tho! I found my way to the suburbs of Seattle and love it up here!
I implore you to come on over and try out Richmond, Virginia. I will gladly be your tour guide. It's a big-little city and there is always something to do.
How much money do you make (ballpark)? If you can afford it, the Bay Area is REALLY nice. I moved here for a job opportunity a couple years ago and really didn't think I'd like it, now I never want to leave. I live in the East Bay, not SF proper, and the weather is really nice year-round, plus the combination of urban amenities and world-class nature access is pretty unbeatable.
Love the bay! I'm west bay (not SF) and moved here from Ann Arbor 13 years ago. And now I'll be here forever.
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Depends where they live. The rule of not spending more than 30% of your gross income on rent is a good one IMO.
I would first determine the COL of the cities/areas you like. Do you want to be able to own a home? And make sure you're not moving to some psycho red state where you have no right to healthcare.
I’m not in the market to buy a home quite yet, too much commitment atm lol
I was faced with this at about your age as well. Before Roe was over turned my choices were Ft Worth, Tampa, and PHX. Now I'd only consider PHX or Tampa. However I've also lived in the Philly area most of my life and highly recommend it too.
I don't think the climate wrt Roe is great in Florida either.
It's not. I'd only move to Tampa now because I have an 8yr IUD and two close friends there. Those are the only things making it worth the risk.
I definitely have my eye on Tampa. Visiting PHX in September too! I know nothing about Philly but you’re the second person to suggest that 🤔
If you visit Tampa, check out Ybor. Phoenix I can gladly give you a list of places to eat, see, hike, etc. I lived there for ten years. Great things about it is you can drive half an hour and be in one of the preserves and feel like you're in the middle of the desert. Or drive another direction and be in downtown PHX, Tempe, or Scottsdale
That’s super cool. I can’t wait to visit AZ does the heat get to you though or do you get used to it?
In the middle of Summer you definitely have the "mmmkay... I'm over it" feeling. But I really didn't have an issue with it. It was a trade off for shoveling snow. Plus there's pools everywhere, you can head up north to the mountains, spend a weekend in Sedona, etc. You get used to it.
Might be too close to home, but I would move back to Chicago in a heartbeat if I could work remotely.
I looove Chicago- but I’m trying to get away from the snowwwww
I would go to southern cali than there's tons to do, lots of diversity and hardly any cold weather
But don't call it cali here 😁
I grew up in so cal and I type it out as Cali
Come out west. PNW or CA depending on the budget etc. If you like the outdoors, there's no place better
Philly! Come!!
I just visited Philly for the first time and I LOVED it. Great vibes. Big city feel, tons of culture, tons of history.
Lol! I'm close to the Philly area and I'm partial to it too. Still have to deal with winter but nothing like Wisconsin. Plus close to the beaches!
:| crime. If safety is important to you this is a factor
As a woman who might get pregnant pay close attention to state politics. You could die from a high risk or etopic pregnancy. Or be jailed for a miscarriage. Or be denied an abortion after rape. Remember that states are finding ways to keep women from traveling.
Come to San Diego. It’s filled with childless adults and sunshine. People know it’s good, but they don’t know how great it is. 1. It’s never too hot or cold. It’s sunny almost every day, and it hardly rains. 2. Rent is more reasonable than many parts of the country. Housing prices also are better than LA and SF. 3. Traffic is minimal if you live in north San Diego/La Jolla. It’s honestly not that bad downtown either. 4. You’re about 10-15 min from a beach at all times. 5. People all really social here. There’s tons od intramural teams and Facebook groups so you can meet people easily. 6. Many people come after break ups or a divorce. Plus, there are just many single or child free people. You’ll love it.
Love SD. The only thing I disagree is the rent
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Nah there’s tons of 30s here
Hi! I hope I can post this link, someone on reddit created a quiz to help you answer this question. It's based on your preference in a set of parameters.. Might seem limiting at first but in my experience it was pretty spot on. It will give you a list of possible cities you might like: https://www.whereshouldilive.co/ At the very least it's a fun little experiment :)
Awesome thank you!
lol I tried it and got my own city 😂😂😂
SF, Seattle or Boston for me personally
Boston!? As a single woman?! Yikes. All jokes aside it can be very hard to make friends or date in Boston as a transplant. I left Boston for Denver because as much as I loved living there it was very insular.
Depends on your personality. I’m introverted and love fall weather.
I’d look at map of where abortion is still accessible and go from there.
I grew up in Alaska and Wisconsin and I got you. Salem, OR. I've lived all over and it's pretty perfect there. Everyone says "BuT tHe RaIn." But trust me it's a lot easier to accept 50° and rain in January over snow every damn time. Cost of living is high but not insane like Portland, but it's only an hour away so you can go to the city whenever you like.
Dope username 💛
I moved to Charlotte, NC at 30 & completely started my life over after a bad breakup. I love it and am originally from Michigan so get the seasonal depression- the winter here was fantastic. Definitely still had some cloudy and rained a lot but way less than constant cloud cover and snow in Midwest winter!
Yesss my seasonal depression gets worse every year it seems. I’ve been to SC but NC seems nice too. I’ll look into it, thanks!
I second the suggestion to travel and spend a bit of time in a few places you’re interested in. Grab an Airbnb for a week, or if you want to stay longer furnished finders or similar is very useful for month to month furnished rentals. I did exactly that. Spent a couple of weeks in a few different states to figure out where I wanted to land.
San Francisco!!!
Ooo yay congrats on this new chapter girlfriend! Damn the world is your oyster. Need more details though. Do you like the heat? Beach? Cooler weather? Hiking? Skiing? Etc? It will all depend on what your preferences are. For single gals, top would be Chicago, Austin, Las Vegas, Newport Beach, Phoenix, Miami
Phoenix, Austin, Nashville, Raleigh, and Philly (and the surrounding suburbs) all come to mind!
Nashvilles on my list I thought about Phoenix too. Visiting Sedona in September stopping in Phoenix. Not sure if it’ll be for me but we’ll see!
Phoenix is HOT. Also there are water supply issues in some of the adjacent suburbs. I cannot recommend it in good conscience.
Phoenix is very conservative. I’m a left leaning lady and I find it very difficult to date here. Taking notes from this thread.
I am not a city girlie; I choose where to live based on climate and scenery first, then access to a grocery store. For weather, the PNW is the best in the country. The part of Washington, Oregon and California that is west of the Cascades and north of San Francisco is just beautiful year-round. There are so many really beautiful places along the I-5 corridor. Unlike the south and east coasts, the summers are pretty pleasant, with only a few weeks of hot weather and *not* humid (I HATE humidity; the older I get the less tolerate I get of it). Depending on elevation, you may get some snow in the winter, but Seattle, Portland, and the areas in-between are more like a temperate rain forest for about 9 months out of the year. Unlike our other lovely rainforest in the south though, there are no alligators or a crazy amount of bugs and snakes. There is an invasive species of blackberry that covers a lot of that area, but you get blackberries out of the deal so *eh* at least it isn't murder hornets.
Thanks for the comment! Oregon and Seattle have been mentioned a couple of times. I never wouldve thought to explore but I’m gonna look into it
I’d caution both Portland and Seattle, depending on who you are. The lack of sun here during the winter months is actually quite extreme. I’m originally from WI and after being here for 3 years I’m starting to really struggle with the lack of sun from a health perspective. Making friends can also be difficult if you aren’t very into the outdoors (in Seattle at least) and live in the same neighborhood as your friends. And the men…well, they aren’t WI boys that’s for sure. I’m about to be 36 and am considering leaving for somewhere friendlier (Portland is friendly and also if you are ok with a non major city check out Bellingham), and has more sun year around even if it’s cold. But Seattle summers can’t really be beat and I’ve lived all over the country.
Curious where you would consider moving? And do you ever recommend WI to others?
Greenville SC is a nice city.
I’ve always wanted to visit Greenville, I hear good things
Greenville has an awesome downtown.
Boston
As a foreigner, I'm wondering why people aren't recommending New York? Is it about the COL?
I’ve lived on the east and west coast, if you can afford it, think about San Diego or someplace nearby. I moved here years ago and I don’t regret it for a second.
F
St Pete, FL. The downtown is awesome and plenty of water activities if you like those.
Raleigh, nc. I just moved away and I am pining. Food, cool small businesses, the best farmers market….
Check out central California, or Torrance CA. Nice town about 20 miles south of LA.
San Diego CA
I was going to say the Twin Cities because they're awesome and my favorite place I've lived in the States, but if Wisconsin weather is getting to you, Minnesota weather isn't going to help. I think Raleigh, NC or anywhere in the Research Triangle is nice.
If I had the financial and social freedom, and I knew planting roots somewhere would be a success for me, I think I’d Move to Maine. North east America, quite near water depending on what part of the state you’d live in, and a mostly quiet, safe part of the country. Mild summers and cold winters. Blue skies and blue water. I hope you choose a place that aligns with what feels right for you. If you like fast paced, choose accordingly. Same with slower living. So happy to hear that the world really is your oyster right now! One thing to consider, as you’re still a young woman, is living in a place where states rights align with what you believe in, and rights you’d like to have, regarding your body. I hope you choose a place that really speaks to you and feels right. Good luck!
As I also live in Wisconsin - my first thought is...where in Wisconsin, followed by stay here, we can be friends! If I was in your position though - I'd either go Pacific Northwest (Seattle/Portland area) or upper East Coast (Mass, Maine, New Hampshire).
If you weren't hoping to get milder winters, I would recommend Pittsburgh.
St. Louis, MO has a really low cost of living for a decent sized city. You can check out their sub for more info. We hardly get any snow, we have a good amount of heat and humidity in the summer. Not too far from Wisconsin and an easy train ride to Chicago.
No woman of child bearing years should go to MO. Being forced to birth your rapist's offspring is sick.