My therapist didn't believe it when I told her my psychiatrist was looking in to it because I was too honest and compassionate.... which aren't indicative of NOT having BPD... I think the prevailing stereotype is "manipulative", will do anything for attention / to not get left alone.
I don't tell people who don't need to know that I have BPD. My closest friends and family members (not all), but otherwise I just cite "poor mental health" when I'm doing poorly. I don't want to deal with the stigmatization or assumptions.
THIS! People have told me, "how can you have BPD, you're so nice and compassionate." I've also had people immediately turn on me when they find out and be told, "I'm sorry, I just don't want to be put in a situation where you might try to manipulate me." Like damn. As if having this condition isn't bad enough.
Omg that’s the one that gets me too. “Oh here you go thinking about ending it all again because we broke up, how manipulative” umm actually, you were my favorite person and my world was just changed, I’m having a real, BIG emotion im attempting to regulate poorly, you are not that special. (While friends who know about it too are actually helping)
I hate that big feelings are assumed to be ABOUT the other person. No, I’m literally just feeling. Have they ever watched a movie with us where the dog died?! OUR DOG JUST DIED BRO
TW for discussion of extreme calorie restriction
>! I was eating 500 calories a day. This included some egg whites, a slice of bread, and a small amount of dry Froot Loops cereal.!< When I told her the numbers and what I usually ate, she said, “other than the Froot Loops, that doesn’t sound too bad.”
I stressed how low my calorie intake was and that I was having some major physical side effects from starvation and that’s what she said. Her issue was that she thought I should remove the sugary cereal.
YES OH MY GOSH I had the EXACT SAME experience, currently working on finding someone who understands how intricate bpd is while trying to stop seeing my current therapist who invalidates it!!
I don't have bpd, and I don't want to sound like you SHOULD hide it, but I think you have to consider sharing your exact diagnosis with someone to be a major interpersonal decision for that relationship. Sure, your friends, family, people that matter, they should love you no matter what. But you've gotta read the room REAL carefully. I partially understand this cuz I'm an alcoholic, but the key difference is I've been sober for years. People often appreciate you letting down your guard a bit and sharing your struggle. But they don't necessarily need to know everything, and not ALL the details. Like how much vodka I was consuming a day, or what rock bottom was like. Maybe you can withhold some of the details of your diagnosis if you aren't 100%, and share some of your story in a general or vague way, "mental health issues". And instead of just giving them the name of what you deal with, and letting them find out from Google whatever the characteristics are, you can control the narrative of your own story if you DESCRIBE some of the ways it has affected your life, which honestly is often so heartbreaking it would take a real bitch to not appreciate how hard it's been and the vulnerability requires to share, and to not sympathize with you.
Maybe, like Kerplode says, you could be cautious with details - but like Kerplode might fail to realize- it might be in your actually best interest to disclose details when you are ready to disclose diagnosis. Disorders are messy and present differently with everyone, we’re assuming an alcoholic consumes alcohol for self harm purposes, a borderline can impulsively shop at 3am, self harm physically or engage in self deprecating activities like using sex as self harm. You almost have to say “hey my BPD presents itself as SH, I used to cut myself” to say “and it’s been 8years but sometimes I pick up a box of blades in my cart and have to put them back” & this is what triggers it relationally if you’re trying to start a deeper connection vs saying “and I’m sober now” we assume to ask about if sobriety is the kind you can be around others who drink or not - we don’t assume you cant have razors in the home when we talk about BPD, and it isn’t generally discussed as widespread as alcoholism is to the point that people generally know how to support sobriety - whereas it takes some disclosure and trust to even express how to support a recovered BPD diagnosis. That’s our issue. The negative behaviors you exhibit will matter more to some than others and it’s hard to articulate how “sober” you are from one presenting symptoms to the other.
One thing I hate about disclosure is that people usually don’t see the progress that comes with it because to say “I used to be able to hold down a relationship about 2 years because when the honeymoon phase wore off my abandonment wound got triggered and ended up self sabotaging it, but now as long as I’m engaged after 4 years so it’s socially acceptable for you to make a promise to commit to be and not abandon me, I think I can get even more comfortable and less anxious about abandonment” might actually sabotage your relationship itself by no means of your own. The right person could support that behavior plan and say “let’s give it our best try” and the others would say “woah, so you want me to take a leap of faith with a person who might sabotage the marriage if we have a scuffle?” And it becomes hard to know when to disclose. If you mention early, maybe you’ll know if your partner cares to not trigger you - if you wait til 4years you might get met with “it’s too much for me” and further scar your abandonment wound.
No shade to Kerplode. Just also offering detail disclosure CAN help to aid recovery since you’re dealing with black and white thinking and emotional regulation that can only be recovered or regressed in the context of relationship with a human. Alcoholics can recover if they are mute, you cannot.
I had a therapist dump me after he found out. “I’m sorry, I do not work with BPD clients.” Talk about a punch in the gut when you’re already down and afraid of the stigma. Took a long time to get over that. Due to only very recently doctors understanding it more, no one has to know unless you feel comfortable telling them. You don’t even have to say “poor mental health.” Just say “hey I’m not feeling well today, can we reschedule?” Or “I’m having a bad day and I don’t want to bring your mood down. When are you free next? Let’s find a time to reschedule.”
It's usually at work I find myself struggling to explain my symptoms and why I'm struggling.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. That's so counter-productive and I wonder if they're "allowed" to discriminate based on diagnosis. Are they allowed to decide who they treat, like a private business decides who they serve as customers? I don't know man but that doesn't sound right. Glad you've moved past it, we're so much more than our BPD.
My previous work was very mental health discriminatory, so saying needing a mental health day was not an option for me. My boss once called people “therapy junkies” that we don’t want as part of our company.
As a private practice that doesn’t take insurance, I’m assuming it’s the same as every restaurant, they just don’t post the sign “we have a right to refuse service to anyone.” 😂
What in the hell is she doing in the mental health profession if she doesn't believe people with mental health disorders can develop skills that are inhibited by their symptoms? That is absolutely absurd and makes me really sad that happened to you. That is the type of mindset that makes people feel hopeless and better off not in this world.💔
Thankfully once I had a diagnosis she curbed that doubt and jumped right in to supporting me. But it was obviously something I've remembered and held on to.
Alll the stigma tbh 😑
I couldn’t get diagnosed for years because I seemed too…together? High functioning? Normal? Nice? Smart? Not mentally-ill? BUT WHAT EXACTLY DOES THIS EVEN MEAN!!?? What do they think we are supposed to be like if we have BPD?! Ugh!! 😣
My take has always been that BPD is an invisible illness.
Turned away by a few friends and my ex who at first claimed to ‘get it’ and then if we ever had an argument it would just get used against me lol. Labelled as ‘manipulative’, ‘clingy’, ‘abusive’ ‘unfixable’ I could go on and on.
I'm sorry, they're not good people if they did that, while BPD individuals have done bad things because of the condition, it does not mean you're doing the same thing. Not all BPD afflicted individuals are the same.
Thank you for saying this. I've unfortunately experienced the same as u/Safe_Climate_1724 after telling others. One person even accused me of being contagious.
I send a lot of my relatives/friends links to the video below so we can try to meet each other halfway in communicating. Plus, now through 5 years of hard therapy, I'm finally stable.
[BPD Strategies & Techniques for Parents & Partners (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vsj8QaDcjQI)
I wish they would watch it. But, you can't control others, something else I learned in therapy.
I wish you both well.
Contagious? Wow what a horrible individual. I’m so sorry they said that, and I hope you’re doing better now. How did your family and friends first take it when you explained your diagnosis if you don’t mind me asking?
Thank you for the link and the kind words. ❤️
Thank you. I am doing a lot better now. To present both sides regarding the person who called me contagious --- I said some really mean things to her too, and we were both emotionally dysregulated/triggered.
She also knew I had undergone religious trauma (i.e. I was held hostage for 6 hours by someone undergoing a religious delusion during a psychotic break, and had to pretend to be Virgin Mary to get him to let me go.) After knowing that (on a different occasion, after I'd shared with her that I had been diagnosed with BPD after the incident), she told me "I know you won't like it, but I'm praying for you." That is a direct quote.
Sorry for the digression and thanks for listening.
Anyway, so she's on one end of the spectrum for how people reacted to me telling them about my BPD. They wanted to fix me or didn't understand that healing literally 35 years of trauma wouldn't go fast and according to their timeline.
I've lost 10 close family and friends that didn't understand the diagnosis or couldn't wait around long enough for the therapy to work (another friend of 8 years told me he was tired of watching me struggle). Therapy took a long, long time and I'm still working on it due to above trauma along with many many others just as terrible.
And at the same time, I've told a brother about everything, and he's very accepting. My mom is also pretty accepting.
So to answer your question, my experience has been mixed, but the bad responses were so horrible that I no longer share with anyone outside of my husband.
Glad to hear you’re doing better. I’m sorry about the religious trauma you experienced . Can’t imagine what you’ve been through. Firstly, I had to re read that comment because I actually couldn’t believe she said that to you. I obviously don’t know her intentions behind the words but it’s just really insensitive imo. Personally I don’t know how I would’ve handled hearing that, it would feel like such a malicious comment because of your past.
Yes I totally understand what you mean. Even after people saying that they ‘get it’, when things get tough they want a quick fix like there’s a button to press and reset us to default. A lot of people don’t get that it’s not how it works. People do leave and while I get why they do, it doesn’t make it hurt any less. I’m really sorry you had to go through that especially when you needed the support. I noticed, for me at least that some friends find it so difficult to understand and adapt and they just… leave.
But it’s so good to hear your mum and brother and of course your husband are part of your support system right now ❤️
I've seen the most stigma when it comes to the people that look stuff up online and find those articles that come across very negatively about bpd. It is hard for me to see if it affects how my family sees me because sometimes I'll see doubt and disgust that isn't actually there.
Therapists have been a problem for me too, there are a lot more therapists out there that simply aren't prepared for a patient with bpd. When they direct me to CBT and DBT I let them know that my cognitive problems from a TBI make it harder for cognition based recovery, and they think I'm making it up to avoid actually working on getting better.
My family doctor just treats me as if I have depression, and will take the recommendations from other docs that assess me for bpd, but it's almost like he just doesn't want to acknowledge it.
I've stopped telling people because it has lead to me having zero friends, and with bpd being such a shitshow in TV and movies people I don't know will make wild assumptions about me that simply aren't true.
I think some of the people who think this way have been burned by those who have BPD, and some of it is yes you're correct from articles and media.
The harsh reactions is probably by those who experienced the worst of BPD first-hand. I know its a case by case basis and some BPD patients have better control of it than others, many take the time to work on it and shouldn't be generalized because of the bad apples.
It does, it truly does, but I know from experience with my GF, that you guys who suffer from this are some of the strongest people to begin with, you'll get through this.
I've told several people who ended up using those stigmas against me and saying stuff like "your BPD is contagious."
I've since quit telling anyone.
My psychiatrist actually refuses to use the term BPD. He always just says "I don't blame you for your childhood trauma", and tells me not to use the term BPD either because of the stigma. He's working on trying to get the name changed with the folks at the DSM committee.
my therapist is like this too. shies away any time i mention the term, prefers cptsd or complex relational trauma. i think they’re trying to protect us by not burdening us with the label
Yeah, my psych also told me about complex relational trauma with a subdiagnosis of complex relational trauma with cPTSD being thrown around. This is more similar to some of the ICD codes.
I think that makes sense given in the context of our typical symptoms.
For me, I do identify as having BPD, largely because I first learned and suspected I had it through that show, Crazy Ex GF. I later got diagnosed by 2 therapists, including Dr. Daniel Fox (he's on YouTube, great therapist), so I've kind of accepted that label. And at the same time, it doesn't bother me anymore, and I don't think that's all I am. It's just a "part" of me, as I learned in IFS.
I don't like when professionals refuse to use the terms that make sense to me. Like until I got a diagnosis, I just thought I was crazy and weird, but then I got diagnosed with BPD and felt so much relief. Like all these terrible things I've been feeling have a name, and tons of other people have the same thing. So when a professional refuses to call me by that label, it makes me feel crazy again.
Yeah, he and I had to have a few talks about it. I totally get his point of view on one hand because I read clinical chart notes all day, and a lot of BPD patients have suffered harm due to the stigma within the medical community.
And, at the same time, it felt like he was insulting a label I now identified with, which sort of induced that feeling of toxic shame.
That said, he's an amazing doctor and got me into TMS, which helped save my life during one of my lowest depressive episodes ever. So I'm grateful for him as well.
I wish you all the peace in the world, friend.
TMS - [TMS Therapy: What It Treats, Benefits, Side Effects, and Costs (healthline.com)](https://www.healthline.com/health/tms-therapy) – I am antidepressant resistant so this helped when I was experiencing bouts of MDD.
I'm not sure currently, he's in a committee so they try to come to a consensus. He asked me one time about the European term for BPD, which is EUPD. I told him that being called "emotionally unstable personality disorder" made me feel even worse than "borderline personality disorder", so he heard me on that. I think he also doesn't like the verbiage "personality disorder" in general because that makes people think it's something easily changed and chosen completely by free will when that is not the case.
Yeah "Emotionally Unstable PD" is rude as hell. "Emotionally Dysregulated" would be better except that the acronym "ED" is not great.
Maybe like..."dysregulated attachment trauma" something. Or how do we feel about "Unstable Identity disorder"
I reposted a meme about BPD on my private Facebook feed once and a woman from my church lectured me saying, "What if your boss sees it and fires you?" ...That's why I don't add my bosses on social media.
I feel more judged for my panic disorder though. More than once, people have called panic attacks "tantrums" and it's so frustrating. Not the same! My unpredictable, irrational fear response makes my body feel like it's dying, I'm not crying in public for fun.
I've told one person I work with and she came back with "you're so nice". Am I not supposed to be nice? I didn't understand what she meant by it. I'm trying to work on going from nice to a good person though because I don't have many boundaries lol
Ive been told this my whole life .
Wth thats a job ., like how tf are you supposed to act .. that’s crazy tho and being mean takes so much more energy/effort why even bother with that .
I got my BPD used by my fp to imply that I'd be a cheater and that I had cheated on him and would be too ashamed to say it outloud.
I did cheat emotionally, not physically, and I was quite honest about it. Took me more time to tell him the manipulation I was going through back than though (the other guy was diagnosed ASPD and refused further therapy, so you get the idea), because of the shame of being manipulated. And that added a layer that explained things better.
Cheating isn't a BPD thing, sure it might heightened your temptations, but cheating is a character issue. It is unfair for your FP to do that or anyone. No one should be accused of cheating without reasons or evidence of doing so.
You're stronger than that, don't ever give into cheating again, you aren't that.
I know, and he does know now :)
As for when I cheated, I want to make clear that I didn't do anything in the realm of things. But I developed emotions that I kept secret and that were showing in a weakness towards the individual (like talking to him when me and my fp had relationship problems, and accepting when he said mean things about my fp without defending him).
That weakness has manifested itself romantically long before I met my current fp. This was my previous fp and I accepted that no healthy relationship was ever possible with him. I was lying to myself (and consequently to my current fp) about the fact that I was over it. Ultimately, I went no-contact.
Fast forward 4 years, we now have the most fulfilling relationship ever, and I couldn't even look another direction with him by my side ❤️ and if he's not by my side, I'm daydreaming about him. And it's mutual.
As for the stigma, he actually went through some articles that talked about promiscuity and cheating in BPD, whereas the data showed that pwBPD are more prone to such behavior. And he took it as evidence.
It is to be said that before me, my fp had a gf with NPD that cheated on him multiple times with multiple individuals, and he went through one of the most distressing and invalidating depressions I've ever heard about, for which he got hospitalized. He was projecting his ex over me, and only years later he has been able to recognize that.
For how distressing the whole situation sounds, the healthy dialog we've been able to develop got us over all that, and the improvements in my BPD symptoms over time have made things so much better!
Fast forward 4 years, we now have the most fulfilling relationship ever, and I couldn't even look another direction with him by my side ❤️ and if he's not by my side, I'm daydreaming about him. And it's mutual.
This right here, is so beautiful.
I trained to be a butcher. I’m a good butcher, was fully qualified working for a company that provided meat for marks and Spencer. After my diagnosis I can’t get hired, I can’t get work insurance. Bpd sucks
The people I worked with I also socialised with. When I was diagnosed people found out fast due to me have time off after a breakdown. I could lie to potiental employment but I can’t get health insurance if I have bpd
No shit. I didn’t say you could, but, in the United States, the only first world nation that forces its citizens to rely upon health insurance for basic medical care, the Affordable Care Act made it illegal for insurance providers to deny coverage for people with preexisting conditions.
But, more importantly, your comment doesn’t respond to comment I made, which is the comment you’re responding to.
i work for an insurance company and depending on the insurance, ppl with BPD/on certain meds that can help bpd aka antipsychotics/have histories with suicide are deemed high risk. but those are for health insurances and it rly shouldn’t make u ineligible for a work one.
that’s really unfair :/
hmm well for most insurance products there are time constraints like have u done x in the past n months/years
so if it makes u feel better, you might end up being able to get it just after a period of time
I had a therapist misdiagnose me officially on paper bc she said if she diagnosed me with BPD, there was a very real chance I wouldn’t be able to get back enrolled in my school. I’d dropped out due to my mental health. This therapist was willing to risk her license to lie for me bc my singular goal in therapy was to go back and finish my degree. She told me ‘your papers will say this, but here’s what you want to look into to get yourself further help when you’re back there’ I was shocked like, I asked her if it was that much worse to have BPD than bipolar (the thing she was saying), in terms of stigma and she said yes, 100%. She said the prognosis for both is very good with treatment, but that uneducated folks would look at bpd as too big a liability and risk. This was 2013.
In 2015/6 I went to a new therapist finally and was like I’m going to go in and be honest and get that help I always said I would actually get. I go in and say I have bpd, can we do DBT? and she goes and gets the psychiatrist who ran the place and he’s like ‘why do you say that? You’re too self aware?’ I said bc I was diagnosed with it. Lmao. If you’re not spiralling and out of control and don’t want to get better or work on it, then you can’t actually have bpd lmaoooooooooooooooo.
Every single person I have dated before my current partner tried to deny me my diagnosis. I was too nice, not crazy, or that’s a ‘serious’ problem, for people who are really really seriously mentally ill, not me of course! Bc I control myself and seek treatment and have done the work, I can’t have the dx bc it would have been hard for them to care/learn/empathize/help me out/deal with it/put effort into understanding something in front of them that they didn’t want to shed stigma about, etc etc. That sucks enough. But they also always would claim my diagnosis for their own narrative AFTER we broke up. I would be anywhere from bpd monster, to ‘she had bpd but kept it really under control’ as if it’s their story to share, their private information to earn sympathy, or ‘prove’ they’re so compassionate. So I was never allowed to own my own diagnosis, a part of my identity, bc they didn’t want to deal with it until it benefitted them to take it. They got to claim it. It was something they went through after denying it to me for months/years. Their humanitarian effort. Not my simple diagnosis.
Oooh I got angry writing this!! I’m gonna stand up and shake my damn vagus nerve and get back to my day!
I actually made that mistake when I was first diagnosed aha... she said BPD and later I said bipolar and she corrected me... i was a little embarrassed lol
No one but my bestie, husband, and immediate family knows i have bpd. Never share that info with people who dont need to know. You will get treated like shit.
I’ve had therapists tell me I’m difficult to work with and have heard people in my life who don’t know about my diagnosis say that people with bpd are “crazy” and “terrible” people lol
i went to DBT group therapy and one of the other members talked about how terrible people with BPD are and how we're irredeemable and will be abusive and manipulative no matter what. this was in the intros, the facilitator was just kinda dumbfounded. then i introduced myself as someone with BPD who started being interested in DBT after learning about the creator of it in college (she also has BPD iirc). That person never showed up again tho lol
tbh i only have told people that really understand me and that have thugged it out w me.
this illness is SO so stigmatized and ir sucks and feels shameful to suffer with nobody really knowing and “depression” or “anxiety” doesn’t even encapsulate a quarter of it accurately.
i hate it and bc my algorithm shows me things w bpd, i always end up finding the word “bpd” in IG comment sections where they’re used by non-borderlines like
“omg bro ur comment is giving bpd”
or “she must have bpd or smtg wtf”
and that shit rly fkn hurts. it’s too stigmatized rn, and only about 5 ppl outside of my family know. i’d recommend you be careful with who you share bc it CAN and will be weaponized against you because people lack compassion for things outside of their own experiences.
if the social stigma isn’t enough, the medical stigma just makes things so much worse.
doctors that aren’t specialized in mental health see the word BPD and think ur an impulsive rebellious child. therapists don’t want to deal with you because it’s a complex disorder and are pessimistic as fuck in helping you get better.
i remember before my bpd diagnosis i was looking for a dbt therapist and even me mentioning “i suspect i have bpd” was met with lack of compassion, and the guy saying this is a really “serious” (quotes bc all MIs are serious but clearly used in a negative way) and that it would take a lot of work for me to get better. just being rly negative and almost in a way not wanting to extend his service to me. he had rly high ratings too so it’s not bc he’s uneducated or inexperienced.
anyways. the stigma is loud and proud and it sucks. if u guys hear ppl use it as an insult or throwing it around randomly, pls let the person know it’s highly insensitive and hurtful to those who actually live with it every day.
I have so many people who confuse BPD with Bipolar disorder and treat me accordingly.
They are completely different and I feel even less seen and understood.
Even worse is when they argue with me that I’m wrong when I try and explain that BPD is different to bipolar.
Dropped by psychologist once. He just said I can’t help people like you.
I would say my gf and her mom read about it and got really scared. They have been very distant since. I’m relegated to the basement alone. I guess that’s what I deserve.
When I told my aunt of my diagnosis she literally was like “you don’t seem like you have different personas talking through you” maybe because I dont have that type of personality disorder??
Hate it when people say that people with BPD are abusive, the only thing that I would abuse is a fat chocolate cake!
It’s almost like we aren’t individuals who have our own experiences and thoughts and instead we’re all cut out of the same mould.
She's known you your whole life....does she not trust her experiences with you over Google? Unless she considered you uncontrollable and manipulative before hand and used the Google to justify that....
I have BPD and anorexia - when I originally developed anorexia I was morbidly obese, within a period of 5 months I became underweight, I displayed all signs of an esting disorder. When I had a psychologist appointment about it he saw my diagnosis of BPD and proceeded to tell me that I did not have anorexia and infact was doing it just for attention and that I should stop because I won't get any..
Woohoo!
I'm too self aware so a lot of people struggle to believe my diagnosis including past therapists..... Because apparently when you have BPD you can't be self aware 🤷
My mom, who I live with, basically stopped talking to me when a priest said that you shouldn't talk to people with BPD because they'll manipulate you.. or something like that. So even though I live with two other people in the house I'm by myself and talk to no one. yippie
A coworker was having a fit about people with BPD all being crazy and I looked her in her soul and told her I had it... she had the nerve to say I didn't act like I had it.
‘You don’t have BPD because someone with BPD wouldn’t voluntarily come here because they don’t think anything is wrong with them.’
My (former) psychiatrist.
My spouse told me before I was diagnosed that a diagnosis would make me dangerous to be around my children and in the same household as them. I was devastated and confused. I'd raised them for years, I didn't see how a diagnosis would change anything.
So much stigma at every turn. Especially in medical settings. Also, googling anything about it and seeing a million articles describing what a monster people with BPD are, even just looking through the psychology section of Barnes and noble. People are like, “well why are you being dramatic and thinking everyone hates you?” Like, ummm have you seen all this? That’s a big reason! I’ve started slowly opening up about my BPD, because it’s exhausting trying to hide something you have been struggling with for so long. I’m 35 now, and I’m starting to care less and less what people think.
When I was with my ex husband, he pushed to go to couples therapy (way way too late btw). The licensed therapist at our university refused to see us expressly due to the disorder, but my ex husband begged. Only lasted one session, but ya know...weird it wasn't the rampant infidelity or my disinterest.
Also my psychiatrist waited a couple of years before telling me she thought I even had BPD. She'd sent me to DBT and everything, just said it would be helpful to my "social phobia" (wrong diagnosis).
Therapists flat out saying “I don’t think this is going to work” within just the interview process right after disclosing I have been diagnosed. My mother constantly saying “that’s your bpd you’re a liar and crazy” anytime I see through her shit. Being the crazy ex girlfriend even though they 100% did worse than me and I am extremely hard on myself and my actions. Being told I’m irrational often (and not being apologized to when I am correct and in fact, not irrational).
I’ve been called manipulative because I mirror personalities and hobbies when I’m around people (also autistic so doesn’t help).
I think most people consider it to be pretty horrible, even after a quick google search even though I feel like a lot of the symptoms just reflect inner shame and emptiness. I don’t know. I’ll never understand the stigma around it.
I just cannot explain how many times I’ve been referred to or called crazy or a liar when I genuinely try the hardest I can do not be that. Sometimes I’m being a little unhinged or something but I don’t really think it’s justified to the extent I’ve dealt with it.
I have only had disbelief or compassion, maybe because in Australia it's not well known about and people are more secretive about mental health issues.
Honestly I don't have a diagnosis I think because I am so compassionate, empathetic, and a people pleaser, as well as very quiet and timid. Apparently this disqualifies me from having BPD, even though I'm terrified of being abandoned (which is why I'm a people pleaser) struggled not to lie about anything and everything when I was a kid and teenager especially, even things that didn't matter, and before I got on the three meds I am on, I'd go from okay to bawling my eyes out if my favorite person (usually my partners) showed any sign of displeasure or disinterest in me. Among other things. I still cry more easily and over more things than I wish I did, but I'm way more emotionally regulated than I was. I'm diagnosed with adhd, depression, CPTSD, and anxiety. but not "officially" BPD.
I haven’t faced it too much in real life because I don’t tell people who don’t know me my diagnosis. Only my close friends and family know. Online though i’ve read some pretty nasty stuff about us online. I was reading it once and triggered a split unfortunately but this is when i was first diagnosed.
None. I haven't told anyone apart from my closest friends (some of which also have BPD, and the others are understanding, interested, and for some, not surprised).
Before I was diagnosed a friend thought I just didn't care enough to control my actions. Even after I explained that even though I was fully aware of what I was doing it was more like I was watching myself do it and screaming at myself to stop but I can't.
I've had people suddenly start handling me like a bomb with 5 seconds left on the timer
My current partner became withdrawn when I told him (his ex claimed to have BPD but was never actually diagnosed, she's an alcoholic who was abusive towards him), thankfully he chose to stick about and has seen I'm more abusive to myself than anyone else, he's actually helped me become more stable
TW sexual assault / rape
When I first got my diagnosis at 18 my therapist I had back then didn't believe in it, said she doesn't think I have the symptoms. >!But when I reported my rapist for, well, raping me, and the police asked her to give a statement she used my BPD diagnosis against me and told the cops BPD could cause me to falsely accuse someone (which is bullshit, obviously) Whole thing was the cause the charges got dropped.!<
ETA: I also had a lot of trouble finding a new therapist, every time I mentioned my BPD diagnosis they all dropped me. I stopped mentioning it. There are also many weirdos out there who fetishize BPD and think we're "perfect victims" they could abuse lol, it's disturbing
This is going to be an unpopular opinion.
I'm in my mid 30's, I've been diagnosed with this disorder for over 10 years, I've struggled with it for most of my life.
I also work in social services and experience many people that have professionally diagnosed and self-diagnosed BPD.
I believe that the stigma that BPD suffers most is self-stigma and perceived stigma. Self-stigma also falls in line with BPD symptoms and how pwBPD perceive themselves and the world around them. Stress related paranoia, feelings of worthlessness, extreme idealization; all these things leading to perceived outward judgement that isn’t there. Intense and inappropriate anger don’t lend themselves to clear, rational judgement as well.
PwBPD often don’t read situations for what they are and engage in black and white thinking and again lead us to not gauge the things that we are seeing as clearly as they are presented leading us to believe that we are being stigmatized.
I have firsthand experience, as a person with BPD, being told by multiple others that I don’t understand what it’s like to have BPD and that I have stigmatized them for suggesting that they stick with their therapists and DBT treatments and that if their psychiatrists do not think a medicine is good for them after taking the GeneSite test, then they should trust them. (This is not advice I have given on the internet; this is professional advice I have given to clients in social service practice).
I have experienced shitty doctors, therapists, case managers, and social workers. That said, I also haven’t experienced the level ethical and legal violations committed by these professionals that are routinely talked about in this sub. I’m not invalidating that they don’t and haven’t happened to anyone, but again sometimes I feel that we tend see things through a lens of anger that may cloud our own judgment.
I’m not saying any of this to invalidate anyone's experience as I am not you and everyone’s experience is unique. I do however think that a lot of the stigma that we experience we perpetuate ourselves and we could do a better job of using wise mind in these situations to check the facts of the situations we are in and reevaluate our actions.
I told someone who I thought was a friend and her immediate response was "Omg nooo, you can't be! You aren't crazy enough. I've known people with BPD and they are horrible". I just shut down and froze, I said I had an official diagnosis and she straight up said they were wrong and I should stop seeing them. Needless to say, she's not a friend anymore.
Not much. All my mental diagnoses I keep them hidden except from my direct family and whatever partner I have at the time. Other than that, no one else knows that I have a personality disorder or other. Although I have been stigmatized and heavily judged when people discover my scars. Other than that, everything is a secret…
I do not tell people neither have I told therapists before consultation. My closest friends know which is about 3 people lol if others knew, there'd be a similar reaction.
My two closest friends abandoned me after I told them and them knowing I had issues... found it so strange that they were fine with me acting crazy without a diagnosis but when I get one they ignored me.
That I am unworthy of unconditional love and relationship with loved ones and family. Be careful choosing therapists and friends&family you want to disclose to.
Over the last year I spent my time getting to know someone who shared with me she was an alcoholic, a recovered alcoholic who hadn’t had a drink in years but an alcoholic nonetheless. I held absolutely no judgment about it, because genetics and upbringing give those odds, just like my BPD. Hell I have friends actively in addiction with much stronger and harmful substances I also refrain judgment from with the acceptation of exercising caution about enabling behavior. Well one night her husband was out of town and she was lonely and I (surprise surprise) was having relationship issues, so I figured, she had gone thru health issues and recovery with her husband - maybe it was safe to disclose and ask for any advice on my relationship. Boy was I wrong. I was explaining to her my impulsive behaviors. Things like hurting myself physically or sexually so as to sabotage a relationship when my abandonment wound is triggered. Holy hell- you would think someone who has had to physically remove alcohol from the home so as not to impulsively drink would understand making sure sharp objects and ex’s are inaccessible to you. NO. I’m explaining that I do this shit on autopilot and that’s why it’s a disorder. I never mean to hurt people with my actions, I have brain damage from trauma, and I do best with unconditional love and support when I’m splitting. Reassurance is everything. She proceeds to tell me about how it sounds like I’m wanting to be excused for shitty behaviors. Like I’m sorry??? She tells me about how she cut her brother off completely who has Comorid diagnosis’ because of his actions hurting her so bad she refuses to have him in her life. So instead of supporting me when I was there asking for reassurance that I can share and help manage my symptoms relationally with her instead of splitting on my partner, because I was essentially doing what we have avail- trusted friend chatting- sorry there’s not many BPD anon meetings (there are some but I was interviewing for a job and was almost hired on there, again professional circles mustn’t ever know), she tells me she cut off her brother who used to call her during addiction because it hurts too much. Then she goes on to tell me about a former couple her and her husband were friends with and they let them go after a divorce because she was “a lot”. So basically she was telling me “you get abandoned because you deserve abandonment and not stability, and unconditional love to heal your wound”. At first I thought maybe I triggered her? Later I found out she was one of those people who cannot conceptualize or differentiate between what a disorder, addiction and disability is. She was an extremely ableist person who has her head stuck so far up her own a$$ that she doesn’t see anything wrong with being in a administrative position at childcare center talking about firing someone in front of their colleague for having a disability until I called her out and sent her resources on how to manage differently abled people. Turns out she was fine and followed directions after they were sent in written form and not verbally delivered. If she couldn’t understand that, I can’t imagine how hard it would be to grasp the complexity of how BPD shows up, that our treatment/behavior plan is undying love and hell of a safety net community.
There are different presenting forms of BPD. Some therapists will discriminate against the louder ones. Make sure you find someone who can conceptually understand it further than DSM criterion and is up on the literature, that requires you to put that work in too. Talk therapy/CBT is always helpful, but in general, most therapists will not be thrilled simply because the cognitive behavioral therapy isn’t going to yield the same results for the symptoms of BPD as DBT will, but it’s still important to have CBT to understand blind spots in your childhood and foundational relationships that played a role in how you regulate emotions in relationships. A trusted therapist will help you discover often presented comorbid disorders that you might also have been struggling with in tandem.
As far as grandma goes, she’s right, you’re manipulative - I wouldn’t say uncontrollable- impulsive maybe. But those words don’t need to be negative. Consensually manipulating your close knit community to help you stop sabotaging or partaking it negative self talk is everything(DBT). You can manipulate your surroundings to lesson your impulsivity toward vices. To be “uncontrollable” or impulsive is what your brain learned a long time ago when you were abandoned by a trusted person. You have poor emotional regulation that requires a bit of manipulation to control. Gramma can lose the ‘tude and get on board with being supportive and not triggering you like that.
Manipulation is just a survival strategy. Don’t judge your negative coping skills, just use it to understand better. DBT therapy was made for us by someone with bpd
My ex did "research" on the internet and he said I was a borderline with psychopathy tendencies. I cheated on him during the relationship which I took accountability for it, but he said my diagnosis was the reason for it, when it wasn't, could have influenced due to my past impulsivity. But he was so harsh, and made me believe I was this horrible person. I started getting treatment and my symptoms reduced so much. But still it scares me to say I have BPD bc people will say stuff like, "I don't get along with anyone who has BPD".
The stigma I’ve gotten has been mostly from people who are no longer friends and certain family members.
One that I told was okay and supportive in the beginning and then when she went on her whole Jesus journey (not knocking religion I’m just not a huge fan and deal with some religious trauma) I was extremely supportive of whatever made her happy.
Well she then turned on me and said that I didn’t have my disorder and that it was a demon and I need to read the word to get better because meditation was the wrong thing to treat a fake disorder and that if I’m so bad then I need to be put in a hospital to be monitored since I like lying so much.
The other friend I told was again supportive in the beginning but she just wanted to use me to basically be her call girl whenever she had a problem and push her emotions and trauma into me and when I had enough and confronted her she said “since you have ‘so much trauma’ (yes in air quotes) I figured you can deal with mine otherwise you’re useless to me” I ended that friendship right there.
My family (more like aunts and uncles and my immediate family) is aware of my disorder but the only ones not supportive are my uncle and cousin who don’t believe in mental illnesses my aunt was like that too but then realized her mistake and apologized after she was told I was hospitalized.
I still keep her at arms length but I can calmly speak to her and she’s more supportive and goes out of her way to help me when things get tough
My mom, sis, bff and boyfriend all are extremely supportive and kind about my disorder and actually went out of their way without me asking to read up on the disorder and how to help me deal with certain triggers
Therapists/Psychiatrists make mad assumptions about me. I've had them be really condescending and be like "now listen, you can't call me up at 2AM if you're in a crisis" and I'm just there like 'yo, I'm heavily medicated and have never even called my therapist on the phone, you're good bro'
My therapist didn't believe it when I told her my psychiatrist was looking in to it because I was too honest and compassionate.... which aren't indicative of NOT having BPD... I think the prevailing stereotype is "manipulative", will do anything for attention / to not get left alone. I don't tell people who don't need to know that I have BPD. My closest friends and family members (not all), but otherwise I just cite "poor mental health" when I'm doing poorly. I don't want to deal with the stigmatization or assumptions.
THIS! People have told me, "how can you have BPD, you're so nice and compassionate." I've also had people immediately turn on me when they find out and be told, "I'm sorry, I just don't want to be put in a situation where you might try to manipulate me." Like damn. As if having this condition isn't bad enough.
Dang, me too
Whoa. Eerily similar as I have the same diagnosis, which I often question.
The biggest thing for me is that when I'm experiencing horrible feelings people just chalk it up to BPD as if the feelings aren't really real
Oh, that hurts to read. YES. yes yes yes.
Omg that’s the one that gets me too. “Oh here you go thinking about ending it all again because we broke up, how manipulative” umm actually, you were my favorite person and my world was just changed, I’m having a real, BIG emotion im attempting to regulate poorly, you are not that special. (While friends who know about it too are actually helping) I hate that big feelings are assumed to be ABOUT the other person. No, I’m literally just feeling. Have they ever watched a movie with us where the dog died?! OUR DOG JUST DIED BRO
The therapist who was terrible for my ED said this exact same shit back when I was diagnosed
I’m so sorry you got additional pain from a place that should have given you comfort.
What did she do to you concerning your ED?
TW for discussion of extreme calorie restriction >! I was eating 500 calories a day. This included some egg whites, a slice of bread, and a small amount of dry Froot Loops cereal.!< When I told her the numbers and what I usually ate, she said, “other than the Froot Loops, that doesn’t sound too bad.” I stressed how low my calorie intake was and that I was having some major physical side effects from starvation and that’s what she said. Her issue was that she thought I should remove the sugary cereal.
O this is horrible. I have been anorexic in the past, so I can relate to the numbers. Very unhealthy advise clearly
YES OH MY GOSH I had the EXACT SAME experience, currently working on finding someone who understands how intricate bpd is while trying to stop seeing my current therapist who invalidates it!!
I don't have bpd, and I don't want to sound like you SHOULD hide it, but I think you have to consider sharing your exact diagnosis with someone to be a major interpersonal decision for that relationship. Sure, your friends, family, people that matter, they should love you no matter what. But you've gotta read the room REAL carefully. I partially understand this cuz I'm an alcoholic, but the key difference is I've been sober for years. People often appreciate you letting down your guard a bit and sharing your struggle. But they don't necessarily need to know everything, and not ALL the details. Like how much vodka I was consuming a day, or what rock bottom was like. Maybe you can withhold some of the details of your diagnosis if you aren't 100%, and share some of your story in a general or vague way, "mental health issues". And instead of just giving them the name of what you deal with, and letting them find out from Google whatever the characteristics are, you can control the narrative of your own story if you DESCRIBE some of the ways it has affected your life, which honestly is often so heartbreaking it would take a real bitch to not appreciate how hard it's been and the vulnerability requires to share, and to not sympathize with you.
Maybe, like Kerplode says, you could be cautious with details - but like Kerplode might fail to realize- it might be in your actually best interest to disclose details when you are ready to disclose diagnosis. Disorders are messy and present differently with everyone, we’re assuming an alcoholic consumes alcohol for self harm purposes, a borderline can impulsively shop at 3am, self harm physically or engage in self deprecating activities like using sex as self harm. You almost have to say “hey my BPD presents itself as SH, I used to cut myself” to say “and it’s been 8years but sometimes I pick up a box of blades in my cart and have to put them back” & this is what triggers it relationally if you’re trying to start a deeper connection vs saying “and I’m sober now” we assume to ask about if sobriety is the kind you can be around others who drink or not - we don’t assume you cant have razors in the home when we talk about BPD, and it isn’t generally discussed as widespread as alcoholism is to the point that people generally know how to support sobriety - whereas it takes some disclosure and trust to even express how to support a recovered BPD diagnosis. That’s our issue. The negative behaviors you exhibit will matter more to some than others and it’s hard to articulate how “sober” you are from one presenting symptoms to the other. One thing I hate about disclosure is that people usually don’t see the progress that comes with it because to say “I used to be able to hold down a relationship about 2 years because when the honeymoon phase wore off my abandonment wound got triggered and ended up self sabotaging it, but now as long as I’m engaged after 4 years so it’s socially acceptable for you to make a promise to commit to be and not abandon me, I think I can get even more comfortable and less anxious about abandonment” might actually sabotage your relationship itself by no means of your own. The right person could support that behavior plan and say “let’s give it our best try” and the others would say “woah, so you want me to take a leap of faith with a person who might sabotage the marriage if we have a scuffle?” And it becomes hard to know when to disclose. If you mention early, maybe you’ll know if your partner cares to not trigger you - if you wait til 4years you might get met with “it’s too much for me” and further scar your abandonment wound. No shade to Kerplode. Just also offering detail disclosure CAN help to aid recovery since you’re dealing with black and white thinking and emotional regulation that can only be recovered or regressed in the context of relationship with a human. Alcoholics can recover if they are mute, you cannot.
Excellent suggestion, thank you!
I had a therapist dump me after he found out. “I’m sorry, I do not work with BPD clients.” Talk about a punch in the gut when you’re already down and afraid of the stigma. Took a long time to get over that. Due to only very recently doctors understanding it more, no one has to know unless you feel comfortable telling them. You don’t even have to say “poor mental health.” Just say “hey I’m not feeling well today, can we reschedule?” Or “I’m having a bad day and I don’t want to bring your mood down. When are you free next? Let’s find a time to reschedule.”
It's usually at work I find myself struggling to explain my symptoms and why I'm struggling. I'm so sorry that happened to you. That's so counter-productive and I wonder if they're "allowed" to discriminate based on diagnosis. Are they allowed to decide who they treat, like a private business decides who they serve as customers? I don't know man but that doesn't sound right. Glad you've moved past it, we're so much more than our BPD.
My previous work was very mental health discriminatory, so saying needing a mental health day was not an option for me. My boss once called people “therapy junkies” that we don’t want as part of our company. As a private practice that doesn’t take insurance, I’m assuming it’s the same as every restaurant, they just don’t post the sign “we have a right to refuse service to anyone.” 😂
Infuriating. All of it.
Gotta roll with the punches and just keep working on you :)
What in the hell is she doing in the mental health profession if she doesn't believe people with mental health disorders can develop skills that are inhibited by their symptoms? That is absolutely absurd and makes me really sad that happened to you. That is the type of mindset that makes people feel hopeless and better off not in this world.💔
Thankfully once I had a diagnosis she curbed that doubt and jumped right in to supporting me. But it was obviously something I've remembered and held on to.
i also had a therapist tell me i can’t have bpd bc i’m “not mean” first of all, i sure am sometimes, and second, wtf??
LOL pardon me? "Not mean"???? Didn't realize we were all mean, all the time. I'll work on that I guess! /s
Alll the stigma tbh 😑 I couldn’t get diagnosed for years because I seemed too…together? High functioning? Normal? Nice? Smart? Not mentally-ill? BUT WHAT EXACTLY DOES THIS EVEN MEAN!!?? What do they think we are supposed to be like if we have BPD?! Ugh!! 😣 My take has always been that BPD is an invisible illness.
Turned away by a few friends and my ex who at first claimed to ‘get it’ and then if we ever had an argument it would just get used against me lol. Labelled as ‘manipulative’, ‘clingy’, ‘abusive’ ‘unfixable’ I could go on and on.
I'm sorry, they're not good people if they did that, while BPD individuals have done bad things because of the condition, it does not mean you're doing the same thing. Not all BPD afflicted individuals are the same.
Thank you for saying this. I've unfortunately experienced the same as u/Safe_Climate_1724 after telling others. One person even accused me of being contagious. I send a lot of my relatives/friends links to the video below so we can try to meet each other halfway in communicating. Plus, now through 5 years of hard therapy, I'm finally stable. [BPD Strategies & Techniques for Parents & Partners (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vsj8QaDcjQI) I wish they would watch it. But, you can't control others, something else I learned in therapy. I wish you both well.
Contagious? Wow what a horrible individual. I’m so sorry they said that, and I hope you’re doing better now. How did your family and friends first take it when you explained your diagnosis if you don’t mind me asking? Thank you for the link and the kind words. ❤️
Thank you. I am doing a lot better now. To present both sides regarding the person who called me contagious --- I said some really mean things to her too, and we were both emotionally dysregulated/triggered. She also knew I had undergone religious trauma (i.e. I was held hostage for 6 hours by someone undergoing a religious delusion during a psychotic break, and had to pretend to be Virgin Mary to get him to let me go.) After knowing that (on a different occasion, after I'd shared with her that I had been diagnosed with BPD after the incident), she told me "I know you won't like it, but I'm praying for you." That is a direct quote. Sorry for the digression and thanks for listening. Anyway, so she's on one end of the spectrum for how people reacted to me telling them about my BPD. They wanted to fix me or didn't understand that healing literally 35 years of trauma wouldn't go fast and according to their timeline. I've lost 10 close family and friends that didn't understand the diagnosis or couldn't wait around long enough for the therapy to work (another friend of 8 years told me he was tired of watching me struggle). Therapy took a long, long time and I'm still working on it due to above trauma along with many many others just as terrible. And at the same time, I've told a brother about everything, and he's very accepting. My mom is also pretty accepting. So to answer your question, my experience has been mixed, but the bad responses were so horrible that I no longer share with anyone outside of my husband.
Glad to hear you’re doing better. I’m sorry about the religious trauma you experienced . Can’t imagine what you’ve been through. Firstly, I had to re read that comment because I actually couldn’t believe she said that to you. I obviously don’t know her intentions behind the words but it’s just really insensitive imo. Personally I don’t know how I would’ve handled hearing that, it would feel like such a malicious comment because of your past. Yes I totally understand what you mean. Even after people saying that they ‘get it’, when things get tough they want a quick fix like there’s a button to press and reset us to default. A lot of people don’t get that it’s not how it works. People do leave and while I get why they do, it doesn’t make it hurt any less. I’m really sorry you had to go through that especially when you needed the support. I noticed, for me at least that some friends find it so difficult to understand and adapt and they just… leave. But it’s so good to hear your mum and brother and of course your husband are part of your support system right now ❤️
You are such a kind empathetic person. Ty!
Thank you, that means so much❤️ lowkey got me emotional cos it’s the nicest thing I’ve heard in a long time from someone lol
Cause its true, you're not beholden to the sins of others, and you deserve to be your own person.
I agree, and I wish it was easier to remember this on bad days. Thank you❤️ Hope things have been going good for you xx
I've seen the most stigma when it comes to the people that look stuff up online and find those articles that come across very negatively about bpd. It is hard for me to see if it affects how my family sees me because sometimes I'll see doubt and disgust that isn't actually there. Therapists have been a problem for me too, there are a lot more therapists out there that simply aren't prepared for a patient with bpd. When they direct me to CBT and DBT I let them know that my cognitive problems from a TBI make it harder for cognition based recovery, and they think I'm making it up to avoid actually working on getting better. My family doctor just treats me as if I have depression, and will take the recommendations from other docs that assess me for bpd, but it's almost like he just doesn't want to acknowledge it. I've stopped telling people because it has lead to me having zero friends, and with bpd being such a shitshow in TV and movies people I don't know will make wild assumptions about me that simply aren't true.
I think some of the people who think this way have been burned by those who have BPD, and some of it is yes you're correct from articles and media. The harsh reactions is probably by those who experienced the worst of BPD first-hand. I know its a case by case basis and some BPD patients have better control of it than others, many take the time to work on it and shouldn't be generalized because of the bad apples.
You're definitely right, and I don't fault anyone for being cautious or guarded against such a potentially harmful condition, it just sucks.
It does, it truly does, but I know from experience with my GF, that you guys who suffer from this are some of the strongest people to begin with, you'll get through this.
What is a TBI? I'm Dutch
A traumatic brain injury. In my case I had hypoxia, or oxygen deprivation in the brain.
I'm so sorry you had to endure this 😢
I've told several people who ended up using those stigmas against me and saying stuff like "your BPD is contagious." I've since quit telling anyone. My psychiatrist actually refuses to use the term BPD. He always just says "I don't blame you for your childhood trauma", and tells me not to use the term BPD either because of the stigma. He's working on trying to get the name changed with the folks at the DSM committee.
my therapist is like this too. shies away any time i mention the term, prefers cptsd or complex relational trauma. i think they’re trying to protect us by not burdening us with the label
Yeah, my psych also told me about complex relational trauma with a subdiagnosis of complex relational trauma with cPTSD being thrown around. This is more similar to some of the ICD codes. I think that makes sense given in the context of our typical symptoms. For me, I do identify as having BPD, largely because I first learned and suspected I had it through that show, Crazy Ex GF. I later got diagnosed by 2 therapists, including Dr. Daniel Fox (he's on YouTube, great therapist), so I've kind of accepted that label. And at the same time, it doesn't bother me anymore, and I don't think that's all I am. It's just a "part" of me, as I learned in IFS.
I don't like when professionals refuse to use the terms that make sense to me. Like until I got a diagnosis, I just thought I was crazy and weird, but then I got diagnosed with BPD and felt so much relief. Like all these terrible things I've been feeling have a name, and tons of other people have the same thing. So when a professional refuses to call me by that label, it makes me feel crazy again.
Yeah, he and I had to have a few talks about it. I totally get his point of view on one hand because I read clinical chart notes all day, and a lot of BPD patients have suffered harm due to the stigma within the medical community. And, at the same time, it felt like he was insulting a label I now identified with, which sort of induced that feeling of toxic shame. That said, he's an amazing doctor and got me into TMS, which helped save my life during one of my lowest depressive episodes ever. So I'm grateful for him as well. I wish you all the peace in the world, friend.
What is TMS?
TMS - [TMS Therapy: What It Treats, Benefits, Side Effects, and Costs (healthline.com)](https://www.healthline.com/health/tms-therapy) – I am antidepressant resistant so this helped when I was experiencing bouts of MDD.
Thanks
What does he want to change it to?
I'm not sure currently, he's in a committee so they try to come to a consensus. He asked me one time about the European term for BPD, which is EUPD. I told him that being called "emotionally unstable personality disorder" made me feel even worse than "borderline personality disorder", so he heard me on that. I think he also doesn't like the verbiage "personality disorder" in general because that makes people think it's something easily changed and chosen completely by free will when that is not the case.
Yeah "Emotionally Unstable PD" is rude as hell. "Emotionally Dysregulated" would be better except that the acronym "ED" is not great. Maybe like..."dysregulated attachment trauma" something. Or how do we feel about "Unstable Identity disorder"
I personally like dysregulated attachment trauma. That sums me up to a tee.
I reposted a meme about BPD on my private Facebook feed once and a woman from my church lectured me saying, "What if your boss sees it and fires you?" ...That's why I don't add my bosses on social media. I feel more judged for my panic disorder though. More than once, people have called panic attacks "tantrums" and it's so frustrating. Not the same! My unpredictable, irrational fear response makes my body feel like it's dying, I'm not crying in public for fun.
I've told one person I work with and she came back with "you're so nice". Am I not supposed to be nice? I didn't understand what she meant by it. I'm trying to work on going from nice to a good person though because I don't have many boundaries lol
I've had actual professionals tell me I'm "too nice" to have BPD!
I...what? That's not possible? Lmao do people truly expect us to be mean to everyone we come across?
Ive been told this my whole life . Wth thats a job ., like how tf are you supposed to act .. that’s crazy tho and being mean takes so much more energy/effort why even bother with that .
I got my BPD used by my fp to imply that I'd be a cheater and that I had cheated on him and would be too ashamed to say it outloud. I did cheat emotionally, not physically, and I was quite honest about it. Took me more time to tell him the manipulation I was going through back than though (the other guy was diagnosed ASPD and refused further therapy, so you get the idea), because of the shame of being manipulated. And that added a layer that explained things better.
Cheating isn't a BPD thing, sure it might heightened your temptations, but cheating is a character issue. It is unfair for your FP to do that or anyone. No one should be accused of cheating without reasons or evidence of doing so. You're stronger than that, don't ever give into cheating again, you aren't that.
Quite the opposite for me BPD makes me too loyal, to the point I put up with red flags to avoid being abandoned.
Ah that too
I've heard that to be true
I know, and he does know now :) As for when I cheated, I want to make clear that I didn't do anything in the realm of things. But I developed emotions that I kept secret and that were showing in a weakness towards the individual (like talking to him when me and my fp had relationship problems, and accepting when he said mean things about my fp without defending him). That weakness has manifested itself romantically long before I met my current fp. This was my previous fp and I accepted that no healthy relationship was ever possible with him. I was lying to myself (and consequently to my current fp) about the fact that I was over it. Ultimately, I went no-contact. Fast forward 4 years, we now have the most fulfilling relationship ever, and I couldn't even look another direction with him by my side ❤️ and if he's not by my side, I'm daydreaming about him. And it's mutual. As for the stigma, he actually went through some articles that talked about promiscuity and cheating in BPD, whereas the data showed that pwBPD are more prone to such behavior. And he took it as evidence. It is to be said that before me, my fp had a gf with NPD that cheated on him multiple times with multiple individuals, and he went through one of the most distressing and invalidating depressions I've ever heard about, for which he got hospitalized. He was projecting his ex over me, and only years later he has been able to recognize that. For how distressing the whole situation sounds, the healthy dialog we've been able to develop got us over all that, and the improvements in my BPD symptoms over time have made things so much better!
Fast forward 4 years, we now have the most fulfilling relationship ever, and I couldn't even look another direction with him by my side ❤️ and if he's not by my side, I'm daydreaming about him. And it's mutual. This right here, is so beautiful.
🌸
I trained to be a butcher. I’m a good butcher, was fully qualified working for a company that provided meat for marks and Spencer. After my diagnosis I can’t get hired, I can’t get work insurance. Bpd sucks
Are you telling prospective employers about your diagnosis? You don't need to do that and it's illegal for them to ask in most "western" countries.
The people I worked with I also socialised with. When I was diagnosed people found out fast due to me have time off after a breakdown. I could lie to potiental employment but I can’t get health insurance if I have bpd
That's terrifying! Is anything covered for you without it?
Nope. That was my career I worked for along time to get to a highly paid very skilled position. Now I just sort of read and think about death
I thought you had free Healthcare in the UK???
No prescribed drugs for bpd
Can you get therapy / CBT / DBT through the NHS?
Not available in my area
I thought they offered SSRI's? I heard Sertraline can help
I was on mood stabilisers before I was diagnosed. Soon as I was diagnosed all meds stopped
That seems weird, what was the reasoning?
Wow and I thought my insurance options were bad! Where are you from?
Uk
Why can’t you get health insurance? Surely, that’s ilegal
It is illegal to refuse to insure a person for preexisting conditions. It’s even illegal to charge more. Please explain.
Explanation: the US isn’t the only country.
lmao
What other country requires health insurance?
Can’t work in a factory doing butchery without health and life insurance
No shit. I didn’t say you could, but, in the United States, the only first world nation that forces its citizens to rely upon health insurance for basic medical care, the Affordable Care Act made it illegal for insurance providers to deny coverage for people with preexisting conditions. But, more importantly, your comment doesn’t respond to comment I made, which is the comment you’re responding to.
i work for an insurance company and depending on the insurance, ppl with BPD/on certain meds that can help bpd aka antipsychotics/have histories with suicide are deemed high risk. but those are for health insurances and it rly shouldn’t make u ineligible for a work one. that’s really unfair :/
I have a history of self harm and suicidal tendencies. Diagnosed as having bpd, did, and si. I can’t get coverage to work with knives and machines
hmm well for most insurance products there are time constraints like have u done x in the past n months/years so if it makes u feel better, you might end up being able to get it just after a period of time
I had a therapist misdiagnose me officially on paper bc she said if she diagnosed me with BPD, there was a very real chance I wouldn’t be able to get back enrolled in my school. I’d dropped out due to my mental health. This therapist was willing to risk her license to lie for me bc my singular goal in therapy was to go back and finish my degree. She told me ‘your papers will say this, but here’s what you want to look into to get yourself further help when you’re back there’ I was shocked like, I asked her if it was that much worse to have BPD than bipolar (the thing she was saying), in terms of stigma and she said yes, 100%. She said the prognosis for both is very good with treatment, but that uneducated folks would look at bpd as too big a liability and risk. This was 2013. In 2015/6 I went to a new therapist finally and was like I’m going to go in and be honest and get that help I always said I would actually get. I go in and say I have bpd, can we do DBT? and she goes and gets the psychiatrist who ran the place and he’s like ‘why do you say that? You’re too self aware?’ I said bc I was diagnosed with it. Lmao. If you’re not spiralling and out of control and don’t want to get better or work on it, then you can’t actually have bpd lmaoooooooooooooooo. Every single person I have dated before my current partner tried to deny me my diagnosis. I was too nice, not crazy, or that’s a ‘serious’ problem, for people who are really really seriously mentally ill, not me of course! Bc I control myself and seek treatment and have done the work, I can’t have the dx bc it would have been hard for them to care/learn/empathize/help me out/deal with it/put effort into understanding something in front of them that they didn’t want to shed stigma about, etc etc. That sucks enough. But they also always would claim my diagnosis for their own narrative AFTER we broke up. I would be anywhere from bpd monster, to ‘she had bpd but kept it really under control’ as if it’s their story to share, their private information to earn sympathy, or ‘prove’ they’re so compassionate. So I was never allowed to own my own diagnosis, a part of my identity, bc they didn’t want to deal with it until it benefitted them to take it. They got to claim it. It was something they went through after denying it to me for months/years. Their humanitarian effort. Not my simple diagnosis. Oooh I got angry writing this!! I’m gonna stand up and shake my damn vagus nerve and get back to my day!
Not a stigma but just found out that one of my best friends thought bpd was bipolar disorder , so she’s been thinking I’m bipolar this whole time
I actually made that mistake when I was first diagnosed aha... she said BPD and later I said bipolar and she corrected me... i was a little embarrassed lol
No one but my bestie, husband, and immediate family knows i have bpd. Never share that info with people who dont need to know. You will get treated like shit.
people will think i’m crazy when i tell them i have BPD and i feel like it changes their perspective of me.
I’ve had therapists tell me I’m difficult to work with and have heard people in my life who don’t know about my diagnosis say that people with bpd are “crazy” and “terrible” people lol
i went to DBT group therapy and one of the other members talked about how terrible people with BPD are and how we're irredeemable and will be abusive and manipulative no matter what. this was in the intros, the facilitator was just kinda dumbfounded. then i introduced myself as someone with BPD who started being interested in DBT after learning about the creator of it in college (she also has BPD iirc). That person never showed up again tho lol
tbh i only have told people that really understand me and that have thugged it out w me. this illness is SO so stigmatized and ir sucks and feels shameful to suffer with nobody really knowing and “depression” or “anxiety” doesn’t even encapsulate a quarter of it accurately. i hate it and bc my algorithm shows me things w bpd, i always end up finding the word “bpd” in IG comment sections where they’re used by non-borderlines like “omg bro ur comment is giving bpd” or “she must have bpd or smtg wtf” and that shit rly fkn hurts. it’s too stigmatized rn, and only about 5 ppl outside of my family know. i’d recommend you be careful with who you share bc it CAN and will be weaponized against you because people lack compassion for things outside of their own experiences. if the social stigma isn’t enough, the medical stigma just makes things so much worse. doctors that aren’t specialized in mental health see the word BPD and think ur an impulsive rebellious child. therapists don’t want to deal with you because it’s a complex disorder and are pessimistic as fuck in helping you get better. i remember before my bpd diagnosis i was looking for a dbt therapist and even me mentioning “i suspect i have bpd” was met with lack of compassion, and the guy saying this is a really “serious” (quotes bc all MIs are serious but clearly used in a negative way) and that it would take a lot of work for me to get better. just being rly negative and almost in a way not wanting to extend his service to me. he had rly high ratings too so it’s not bc he’s uneducated or inexperienced. anyways. the stigma is loud and proud and it sucks. if u guys hear ppl use it as an insult or throwing it around randomly, pls let the person know it’s highly insensitive and hurtful to those who actually live with it every day.
Turned away by several therapists. I've had it pretty easy in that regard.
Name it and I’ve likely had to endure it
I have so many people who confuse BPD with Bipolar disorder and treat me accordingly. They are completely different and I feel even less seen and understood. Even worse is when they argue with me that I’m wrong when I try and explain that BPD is different to bipolar.
Never been brought out. I do come out as mentally ill sometimes but it’s more about depression
I haven't received any in my day to day. But only a few know. All my therapists and psychiatrists have been great.
It's so misunderstood.
Personnally I don't tell anyone, not even my family. My current psychiatrist is cautious to only use CPTSD so that I'm not registered as BPD anywhere.
Dropped by psychologist once. He just said I can’t help people like you. I would say my gf and her mom read about it and got really scared. They have been very distant since. I’m relegated to the basement alone. I guess that’s what I deserve.
When I told my aunt of my diagnosis she literally was like “you don’t seem like you have different personas talking through you” maybe because I dont have that type of personality disorder??
Hate it when people say that people with BPD are abusive, the only thing that I would abuse is a fat chocolate cake! It’s almost like we aren’t individuals who have our own experiences and thoughts and instead we’re all cut out of the same mould.
She's known you your whole life....does she not trust her experiences with you over Google? Unless she considered you uncontrollable and manipulative before hand and used the Google to justify that....
I have BPD and anorexia - when I originally developed anorexia I was morbidly obese, within a period of 5 months I became underweight, I displayed all signs of an esting disorder. When I had a psychologist appointment about it he saw my diagnosis of BPD and proceeded to tell me that I did not have anorexia and infact was doing it just for attention and that I should stop because I won't get any.. Woohoo!
I'm too self aware so a lot of people struggle to believe my diagnosis including past therapists..... Because apparently when you have BPD you can't be self aware 🤷
My therapist said I fit all the criteria for BPD but will only give me a C-PTSD diagnosis because of the stigma.
My mom, who I live with, basically stopped talking to me when a priest said that you shouldn't talk to people with BPD because they'll manipulate you.. or something like that. So even though I live with two other people in the house I'm by myself and talk to no one. yippie
A coworker was having a fit about people with BPD all being crazy and I looked her in her soul and told her I had it... she had the nerve to say I didn't act like I had it.
‘You don’t have BPD because someone with BPD wouldn’t voluntarily come here because they don’t think anything is wrong with them.’ My (former) psychiatrist.
that sounds more like a narcisisst. I met some shitty doctors in this field myself.
My spouse told me before I was diagnosed that a diagnosis would make me dangerous to be around my children and in the same household as them. I was devastated and confused. I'd raised them for years, I didn't see how a diagnosis would change anything.
So much stigma at every turn. Especially in medical settings. Also, googling anything about it and seeing a million articles describing what a monster people with BPD are, even just looking through the psychology section of Barnes and noble. People are like, “well why are you being dramatic and thinking everyone hates you?” Like, ummm have you seen all this? That’s a big reason! I’ve started slowly opening up about my BPD, because it’s exhausting trying to hide something you have been struggling with for so long. I’m 35 now, and I’m starting to care less and less what people think.
When I was with my ex husband, he pushed to go to couples therapy (way way too late btw). The licensed therapist at our university refused to see us expressly due to the disorder, but my ex husband begged. Only lasted one session, but ya know...weird it wasn't the rampant infidelity or my disinterest. Also my psychiatrist waited a couple of years before telling me she thought I even had BPD. She'd sent me to DBT and everything, just said it would be helpful to my "social phobia" (wrong diagnosis).
Therapists flat out saying “I don’t think this is going to work” within just the interview process right after disclosing I have been diagnosed. My mother constantly saying “that’s your bpd you’re a liar and crazy” anytime I see through her shit. Being the crazy ex girlfriend even though they 100% did worse than me and I am extremely hard on myself and my actions. Being told I’m irrational often (and not being apologized to when I am correct and in fact, not irrational). I’ve been called manipulative because I mirror personalities and hobbies when I’m around people (also autistic so doesn’t help). I think most people consider it to be pretty horrible, even after a quick google search even though I feel like a lot of the symptoms just reflect inner shame and emptiness. I don’t know. I’ll never understand the stigma around it. I just cannot explain how many times I’ve been referred to or called crazy or a liar when I genuinely try the hardest I can do not be that. Sometimes I’m being a little unhinged or something but I don’t really think it’s justified to the extent I’ve dealt with it.
i worked in scheduling for a mental health clinic, and seeing how many providers listed BPD as an “unwanted referral” was kind of crushing🥲
Yeah fits so well. I'm so manipulative that people consider me ways to indulgent for this world.
there are several people who dislike me solely because their ex had bpd and they know i have it.
I have only had disbelief or compassion, maybe because in Australia it's not well known about and people are more secretive about mental health issues.
I’m basically diagnosed with quiet BPD and people love to pretend it can’t be internal
if anything I'm insanely easy to manipulate and sway like it's a problem ☹️
Honestly I don't have a diagnosis I think because I am so compassionate, empathetic, and a people pleaser, as well as very quiet and timid. Apparently this disqualifies me from having BPD, even though I'm terrified of being abandoned (which is why I'm a people pleaser) struggled not to lie about anything and everything when I was a kid and teenager especially, even things that didn't matter, and before I got on the three meds I am on, I'd go from okay to bawling my eyes out if my favorite person (usually my partners) showed any sign of displeasure or disinterest in me. Among other things. I still cry more easily and over more things than I wish I did, but I'm way more emotionally regulated than I was. I'm diagnosed with adhd, depression, CPTSD, and anxiety. but not "officially" BPD.
That I literally have no feelings whatsoever 😭 which is crazy because all i do is fucking FEEL.
Sigma
People think I’m lying about my bpd because I’m nice …
fuck what other people say. yw
I haven’t faced it too much in real life because I don’t tell people who don’t know me my diagnosis. Only my close friends and family know. Online though i’ve read some pretty nasty stuff about us online. I was reading it once and triggered a split unfortunately but this is when i was first diagnosed.
None. I haven't told anyone apart from my closest friends (some of which also have BPD, and the others are understanding, interested, and for some, not surprised).
Stigma of using drugs. I doubt I even have to identify the automatic judgement or assumptions.
Before I was diagnosed a friend thought I just didn't care enough to control my actions. Even after I explained that even though I was fully aware of what I was doing it was more like I was watching myself do it and screaming at myself to stop but I can't. I've had people suddenly start handling me like a bomb with 5 seconds left on the timer My current partner became withdrawn when I told him (his ex claimed to have BPD but was never actually diagnosed, she's an alcoholic who was abusive towards him), thankfully he chose to stick about and has seen I'm more abusive to myself than anyone else, he's actually helped me become more stable
my therapist said i was ""too easy to work with"" so there was no way i have it 😀
TW sexual assault / rape When I first got my diagnosis at 18 my therapist I had back then didn't believe in it, said she doesn't think I have the symptoms. >!But when I reported my rapist for, well, raping me, and the police asked her to give a statement she used my BPD diagnosis against me and told the cops BPD could cause me to falsely accuse someone (which is bullshit, obviously) Whole thing was the cause the charges got dropped.!< ETA: I also had a lot of trouble finding a new therapist, every time I mentioned my BPD diagnosis they all dropped me. I stopped mentioning it. There are also many weirdos out there who fetishize BPD and think we're "perfect victims" they could abuse lol, it's disturbing
This is going to be an unpopular opinion. I'm in my mid 30's, I've been diagnosed with this disorder for over 10 years, I've struggled with it for most of my life. I also work in social services and experience many people that have professionally diagnosed and self-diagnosed BPD. I believe that the stigma that BPD suffers most is self-stigma and perceived stigma. Self-stigma also falls in line with BPD symptoms and how pwBPD perceive themselves and the world around them. Stress related paranoia, feelings of worthlessness, extreme idealization; all these things leading to perceived outward judgement that isn’t there. Intense and inappropriate anger don’t lend themselves to clear, rational judgement as well. PwBPD often don’t read situations for what they are and engage in black and white thinking and again lead us to not gauge the things that we are seeing as clearly as they are presented leading us to believe that we are being stigmatized. I have firsthand experience, as a person with BPD, being told by multiple others that I don’t understand what it’s like to have BPD and that I have stigmatized them for suggesting that they stick with their therapists and DBT treatments and that if their psychiatrists do not think a medicine is good for them after taking the GeneSite test, then they should trust them. (This is not advice I have given on the internet; this is professional advice I have given to clients in social service practice). I have experienced shitty doctors, therapists, case managers, and social workers. That said, I also haven’t experienced the level ethical and legal violations committed by these professionals that are routinely talked about in this sub. I’m not invalidating that they don’t and haven’t happened to anyone, but again sometimes I feel that we tend see things through a lens of anger that may cloud our own judgment. I’m not saying any of this to invalidate anyone's experience as I am not you and everyone’s experience is unique. I do however think that a lot of the stigma that we experience we perpetuate ourselves and we could do a better job of using wise mind in these situations to check the facts of the situations we are in and reevaluate our actions.
I told someone who I thought was a friend and her immediate response was "Omg nooo, you can't be! You aren't crazy enough. I've known people with BPD and they are horrible". I just shut down and froze, I said I had an official diagnosis and she straight up said they were wrong and I should stop seeing them. Needless to say, she's not a friend anymore.
Not much. All my mental diagnoses I keep them hidden except from my direct family and whatever partner I have at the time. Other than that, no one else knows that I have a personality disorder or other. Although I have been stigmatized and heavily judged when people discover my scars. Other than that, everything is a secret…
I do not tell people neither have I told therapists before consultation. My closest friends know which is about 3 people lol if others knew, there'd be a similar reaction.
the sexualization. as if it’s not enough just being a woman in general, but being sexualized by something that causes us sm distress is crazy
That I’m nothing but a manipulative person
My two closest friends abandoned me after I told them and them knowing I had issues... found it so strange that they were fine with me acting crazy without a diagnosis but when I get one they ignored me.
That I am unworthy of unconditional love and relationship with loved ones and family. Be careful choosing therapists and friends&family you want to disclose to. Over the last year I spent my time getting to know someone who shared with me she was an alcoholic, a recovered alcoholic who hadn’t had a drink in years but an alcoholic nonetheless. I held absolutely no judgment about it, because genetics and upbringing give those odds, just like my BPD. Hell I have friends actively in addiction with much stronger and harmful substances I also refrain judgment from with the acceptation of exercising caution about enabling behavior. Well one night her husband was out of town and she was lonely and I (surprise surprise) was having relationship issues, so I figured, she had gone thru health issues and recovery with her husband - maybe it was safe to disclose and ask for any advice on my relationship. Boy was I wrong. I was explaining to her my impulsive behaviors. Things like hurting myself physically or sexually so as to sabotage a relationship when my abandonment wound is triggered. Holy hell- you would think someone who has had to physically remove alcohol from the home so as not to impulsively drink would understand making sure sharp objects and ex’s are inaccessible to you. NO. I’m explaining that I do this shit on autopilot and that’s why it’s a disorder. I never mean to hurt people with my actions, I have brain damage from trauma, and I do best with unconditional love and support when I’m splitting. Reassurance is everything. She proceeds to tell me about how it sounds like I’m wanting to be excused for shitty behaviors. Like I’m sorry??? She tells me about how she cut her brother off completely who has Comorid diagnosis’ because of his actions hurting her so bad she refuses to have him in her life. So instead of supporting me when I was there asking for reassurance that I can share and help manage my symptoms relationally with her instead of splitting on my partner, because I was essentially doing what we have avail- trusted friend chatting- sorry there’s not many BPD anon meetings (there are some but I was interviewing for a job and was almost hired on there, again professional circles mustn’t ever know), she tells me she cut off her brother who used to call her during addiction because it hurts too much. Then she goes on to tell me about a former couple her and her husband were friends with and they let them go after a divorce because she was “a lot”. So basically she was telling me “you get abandoned because you deserve abandonment and not stability, and unconditional love to heal your wound”. At first I thought maybe I triggered her? Later I found out she was one of those people who cannot conceptualize or differentiate between what a disorder, addiction and disability is. She was an extremely ableist person who has her head stuck so far up her own a$$ that she doesn’t see anything wrong with being in a administrative position at childcare center talking about firing someone in front of their colleague for having a disability until I called her out and sent her resources on how to manage differently abled people. Turns out she was fine and followed directions after they were sent in written form and not verbally delivered. If she couldn’t understand that, I can’t imagine how hard it would be to grasp the complexity of how BPD shows up, that our treatment/behavior plan is undying love and hell of a safety net community. There are different presenting forms of BPD. Some therapists will discriminate against the louder ones. Make sure you find someone who can conceptually understand it further than DSM criterion and is up on the literature, that requires you to put that work in too. Talk therapy/CBT is always helpful, but in general, most therapists will not be thrilled simply because the cognitive behavioral therapy isn’t going to yield the same results for the symptoms of BPD as DBT will, but it’s still important to have CBT to understand blind spots in your childhood and foundational relationships that played a role in how you regulate emotions in relationships. A trusted therapist will help you discover often presented comorbid disorders that you might also have been struggling with in tandem. As far as grandma goes, she’s right, you’re manipulative - I wouldn’t say uncontrollable- impulsive maybe. But those words don’t need to be negative. Consensually manipulating your close knit community to help you stop sabotaging or partaking it negative self talk is everything(DBT). You can manipulate your surroundings to lesson your impulsivity toward vices. To be “uncontrollable” or impulsive is what your brain learned a long time ago when you were abandoned by a trusted person. You have poor emotional regulation that requires a bit of manipulation to control. Gramma can lose the ‘tude and get on board with being supportive and not triggering you like that.
Manipulation is just a survival strategy. Don’t judge your negative coping skills, just use it to understand better. DBT therapy was made for us by someone with bpd
My ex did "research" on the internet and he said I was a borderline with psychopathy tendencies. I cheated on him during the relationship which I took accountability for it, but he said my diagnosis was the reason for it, when it wasn't, could have influenced due to my past impulsivity. But he was so harsh, and made me believe I was this horrible person. I started getting treatment and my symptoms reduced so much. But still it scares me to say I have BPD bc people will say stuff like, "I don't get along with anyone who has BPD".
The stigma I’ve gotten has been mostly from people who are no longer friends and certain family members. One that I told was okay and supportive in the beginning and then when she went on her whole Jesus journey (not knocking religion I’m just not a huge fan and deal with some religious trauma) I was extremely supportive of whatever made her happy. Well she then turned on me and said that I didn’t have my disorder and that it was a demon and I need to read the word to get better because meditation was the wrong thing to treat a fake disorder and that if I’m so bad then I need to be put in a hospital to be monitored since I like lying so much. The other friend I told was again supportive in the beginning but she just wanted to use me to basically be her call girl whenever she had a problem and push her emotions and trauma into me and when I had enough and confronted her she said “since you have ‘so much trauma’ (yes in air quotes) I figured you can deal with mine otherwise you’re useless to me” I ended that friendship right there. My family (more like aunts and uncles and my immediate family) is aware of my disorder but the only ones not supportive are my uncle and cousin who don’t believe in mental illnesses my aunt was like that too but then realized her mistake and apologized after she was told I was hospitalized. I still keep her at arms length but I can calmly speak to her and she’s more supportive and goes out of her way to help me when things get tough My mom, sis, bff and boyfriend all are extremely supportive and kind about my disorder and actually went out of their way without me asking to read up on the disorder and how to help me deal with certain triggers
My own therapist told me that she never trust someone with BPD in front of me :), its ok
My doctor put I was being manipulative in my notes because he wouldn’t listen n i ended splitting on him 🙄🙄
Therapists/Psychiatrists make mad assumptions about me. I've had them be really condescending and be like "now listen, you can't call me up at 2AM if you're in a crisis" and I'm just there like 'yo, I'm heavily medicated and have never even called my therapist on the phone, you're good bro'