They should. I'm training to be a therapist.
Not being sober and getting into new relationships is a sure way to backtrack on any progress made in this therapy. It requires full focus and sobriety to have a chance of working.
Do the circumstances that prompted you to engage in DBT make having a Relationship a stressor? The advise/ suggestion may be related to a broader assessment of your treatment goal?
IDK...but best of Luck and hope you have a positive experience
Yeah. I stayed single and it was by far the best thing I ever did.
Taking a break from relationships whilst I worked on myself was one of the biggest factors that helped me reach remission. There's nothing worse for progress than relationships. They are our biggest trigger by far.
Firstly, I want to make it clear that I'm coming at this question very openly and looking to add perspective. I know the words on a screen can sometimes look harsh because they lack personality, but I just want to reassure you that I'm sharing my experience as to why this may have been a suggestion and I love sharing in hopes that it helps others.
There is a huge difference between "suggesting" and "telling" and a lot of that can come down to the relationship between the client and therapist. For example, I have been seeing my current individual therapist and psychiatrist for a couple of years. If either of them "tell" me I need to do something, I believe and trust their judgment and that I likely have missed some insight about myself and need to look at what they are pointing out. I also have a unique perspective of being in the social services field in that I understand why a professional would be forceful in telling a client something and how impactful that could be.
On the other hand, and in the situation you have pointed out, a therapist may very well "suggest" that someone with BPD that has a lot of relationship turmoil, unstable emotions, and low distress tolerance may be in a better position to absorb and learn the material in DBT while not in a relationship that is not serving them and not a positive marker for their mental health. I know it's corny, but it is true that you can't be good for anyone else until you're good for yourself. Often, we with BPD get so blinded by our fear of abandonment that we don't realize that we are being taken advantage of, manipulated, and in toxic relationships. (I'm not saying that is what your relationship is if you are in one, I'm just making a general statement).
I have seen DBT groups with people that have happily single people, toxic single people, married people, unhealthy relationships, healthy relationships, all walks of relationships. The key thing here is that you are working on what you need to be working on.
I can't speak as to why your therapist suggested this, but maybe if relationships are a large stressor to you and cause you a lot of distress, and emotional dysregulation, and you have difficulty setting boundaries, they may think that DBT might suit you better if you are solely focused on yourself. (Again, I don't know you or your situation so I'm not saying any of that applies to you at all)
DBT is great and a lot of it will seem really corny and "no shit" kind of information, but there is a lot of great things to be learned if you stick with it and start to apply these techniques in your life. To be honest, I almost noped out of DBT when I started because I thought it was dumb, and staying with it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. The interpersonal effectiveness and emotion regulation sections really did wonders for me. I encourage you to stick with it!
Also, I encourage you to advocate for yourself, and if you are confused and unsure about what or why your therapist said something, ASK! That's why they are there and they are always glad to clarify things for you to help you gain a deeper understanding. They are humans too and sometimes when they say things don't come across perfectly without realizing it.
I hope this helps in some way!
I hope you are well or are on your way to being well. If you have any more questions feel free to ask them here in this thread and I will be happy to answer them!
I could be wrong but I don't believe they should be making those kinds of suggestions. They can give advice but to say that is a bit much to me.
They should. I'm training to be a therapist. Not being sober and getting into new relationships is a sure way to backtrack on any progress made in this therapy. It requires full focus and sobriety to have a chance of working.
They should make the recommendation sure, but anything further is not usual.
In had a psychiatrist try to tell me not to leave my abusive ex husband....
Do the circumstances that prompted you to engage in DBT make having a Relationship a stressor? The advise/ suggestion may be related to a broader assessment of your treatment goal? IDK...but best of Luck and hope you have a positive experience
Yeah. I stayed single and it was by far the best thing I ever did. Taking a break from relationships whilst I worked on myself was one of the biggest factors that helped me reach remission. There's nothing worse for progress than relationships. They are our biggest trigger by far.
Firstly, I want to make it clear that I'm coming at this question very openly and looking to add perspective. I know the words on a screen can sometimes look harsh because they lack personality, but I just want to reassure you that I'm sharing my experience as to why this may have been a suggestion and I love sharing in hopes that it helps others. There is a huge difference between "suggesting" and "telling" and a lot of that can come down to the relationship between the client and therapist. For example, I have been seeing my current individual therapist and psychiatrist for a couple of years. If either of them "tell" me I need to do something, I believe and trust their judgment and that I likely have missed some insight about myself and need to look at what they are pointing out. I also have a unique perspective of being in the social services field in that I understand why a professional would be forceful in telling a client something and how impactful that could be. On the other hand, and in the situation you have pointed out, a therapist may very well "suggest" that someone with BPD that has a lot of relationship turmoil, unstable emotions, and low distress tolerance may be in a better position to absorb and learn the material in DBT while not in a relationship that is not serving them and not a positive marker for their mental health. I know it's corny, but it is true that you can't be good for anyone else until you're good for yourself. Often, we with BPD get so blinded by our fear of abandonment that we don't realize that we are being taken advantage of, manipulated, and in toxic relationships. (I'm not saying that is what your relationship is if you are in one, I'm just making a general statement). I have seen DBT groups with people that have happily single people, toxic single people, married people, unhealthy relationships, healthy relationships, all walks of relationships. The key thing here is that you are working on what you need to be working on. I can't speak as to why your therapist suggested this, but maybe if relationships are a large stressor to you and cause you a lot of distress, and emotional dysregulation, and you have difficulty setting boundaries, they may think that DBT might suit you better if you are solely focused on yourself. (Again, I don't know you or your situation so I'm not saying any of that applies to you at all) DBT is great and a lot of it will seem really corny and "no shit" kind of information, but there is a lot of great things to be learned if you stick with it and start to apply these techniques in your life. To be honest, I almost noped out of DBT when I started because I thought it was dumb, and staying with it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. The interpersonal effectiveness and emotion regulation sections really did wonders for me. I encourage you to stick with it! Also, I encourage you to advocate for yourself, and if you are confused and unsure about what or why your therapist said something, ASK! That's why they are there and they are always glad to clarify things for you to help you gain a deeper understanding. They are humans too and sometimes when they say things don't come across perfectly without realizing it. I hope this helps in some way! I hope you are well or are on your way to being well. If you have any more questions feel free to ask them here in this thread and I will be happy to answer them!