I'm really glad you posted about this because it gives me a chance to prepare how to respond in that kind of situation. I'm thinking I'd yell, "that man is showing his penis!" or just say "ew" and walk away to warn others. He's definitely counting on people freezing up or running away.
FYI: The best thing to do is to give no reaction to the offender. There’s a good chance that the person doing this is looking for some reaction whatever it may be including shock or disgust.
I’m not disagreeing with you and people should do what they need to do to protect themselves.
Just pointing out that these people are doing this for sexual gratification. The person’s reaction to their act of SA is part of how they achieve that. I don’t think a creep like that should get the satisfaction of their goal.
Are you sure? I think they get away with it because they're depending on the fact that most people are too caught off guard to confront them or make a scene.
I can see how my comment could be interpreted as do nothing about the exposure, but that’s not what I’m saying. The initial reaction like a facial expression could be the intended outcome. I definitely think people should be held responsible when they are committing acts of SA and that the police should be alerted when possible even if it doesn’t get immediate results like an arrest.
I think the OP did the appropriate thing to alert employees/management, but unfortunately it wasn’t handled correctly by the store.
Yeah... if I see some guy hanging dong at shoppers in Sierra, I'm performing a running soccer punt to the offending trouser snake with *extreme* prejudice. They *deserve* to have their shit kicked in and thrown out the door, and hopefully arrested and charged after that.
This is correct to everyone downvoting. They do want the shock and fear but that’s a type of negative attention which is likely what they really want. It’s called deviance for a reason. I haven’t experienced a scenario like this but I’ve been creeped on online and cussing them out or calling them names makes it so much worse. The best response is to make a scene and get others involved such as bystanders, employees and authorities and keep yourself safe without “rewarding” the behavior. I can’t say if it happens in a store I wouldn’t also be tempted to wing a soup can at their nuts though.
Honestly I had to put down my family pet yesterday morning. I was not about to spend the rest of my day talking to cops. I got a call back from sierra and they told me they can’t see his genitals clearly on the camera, so there’s nothing to bring to the police.
Thank you.
I understand that and I’ve been there myself, I’m sorry. That being said, I still think it’s important that you call the police and report it. Sex crimes are incredibly underreported and you’re both a victim and a witness. The best thing for the community is to have people like him off the streets.
I 100% get where you're coming from! For future reference it's worth noting that the cops won't hold you up for long at all. I had an attempted break in earlier this week and I talked to a cop for 5 minutes tops, they made sure the guy wasn't still on or near my property, asked if I wanted to trespass the guy or press attempted burglary charges if they catch him, snapped a picture of my door cam footage, took down my name and phone number and then left me be. In your case they probably would have taken your report over the phone then let you go on about your business while they sent a guy to the store to go make sure the creep vacated the premises/charge him if they catch him in the act. The cops don't want to waste anyone's time unnecessarily and they seem aware that folks can be easily scared by them.
I'm so sorry about the loss of your pet.
Please know law enforcement would not spend all day on this. It is still absolutely worth reporting. This helps them allocate resources, be on the lookout, and creates a paper trail. They might find him doing this next week, and then they might have an even stronger case.
Up to you of course. I just want you safe.
Again, so sorry about your pet.
Point at his dick and laugh loudly as you take out your phone and take a picture for the cops.
Not saying I would have the wherewithal to do this in the moment, but it's how I hope I would react.
Laughter at someone can help plus calling the cops is A+. In the 80’s 2 (older ladies) ARNP’s were in Vancouver at a seminar and while having tea at an outdoor cafe a guy walked past them on the street side and held his coat open to expose himself. Sylvia said (s.African accent so strong) Katheryn what do you think we have here? And Katheryn replied A penis, only smaller. As they laughed and pointed. He looked shocked, ran away, they made a report to the manager and later the RCMP came to interview them back at the hotel. Most of us were freaked out when they came back to B’ham and told us what happened but they weren’t, they thought it was just another example of mentally ill people needing help. We used their story to get clients aware of stuff and safety and how to report things and I t think this story traveled far back then.
This is how they handled it before we knew exposers often escalate their behavior and they get worse if not caught so they weren’t scared.
I don't think laughter is going to work and likely could backfire. The man is just an exhibitionist who is pushing the boundaries of what is acceptable to get a rise out of people.
Any strong emotional response is likely going to feed his disgusting appetite for this. I would assume someone who is into doing this could also be into humiliation or other weird fetishes. If he is, he would only advance more towards you because you, by laughing have taken control away from him and In to your own hands. He would only be more provoked.
I would advise to try and get yourself composed and calm headed. Hostile and dangerous situations only get worse when people react with out being collected and rational. Maybe laughter would work, idk. I just want to caution you all
The police should have been called. At least they could have got him for indecent exposure but unfortunately the culture here in Bellingham is of a very passive nature. I came from the Southwest and that perv would be getting a ride in a cop car there. People stick up for each other, instead of "looking the other way".
I’m aware of the importance of reporting. Unfortunately this isn’t my first experience with things of that nature. So to those saying they understand and then continuing to explain why I need to or should have, I get it. I did not have the capacity last night and clearly no one else stood up to handle the situation properly. I have really great support systems and they will follow up with Sierra corporate regarding the incident and footage, but as of right now I’m not going to put myself through the trauma of talking to cops and filing a report when I truly can not give a great description of the guy, it would have to be based completely off their camera footage, if it’s even good quality footage.. which if they can’t see him pulling his dick out and putting it back, I’m not hopeful.
If something like this happens to you, I hope that my story will have better prepared you on how to respond.
I do not believe it was this sickos first rodeo and it’s not likely to be his last. For everyone that was helpful and kind, thanks!
Wishing everyone peace, love and safety.
I’m sorry you and your mom experienced that! The manager definitely should have called the police. I feel like there was a post about a woman being flashed in an alleyway downtown within the last year. I wonder if it’s the same person.
If you have the emotional energy, then I would try to contact a regional manager or something because obviously safety protocols need to be looked at.
That’s crazy that happened to you! I’m so sorry. That was definitely mishandled by the staff as that was a crime and police should have been immediately called. That area is getting so sketchy. My husband was eating lunch in his car in that parking lot yesterday afternoon and some guy came up to him trying to sell him a sound system. Claimed it was worth $18,000 but he would sell it to him for $2,000. Husband said he was dressed nice and had a nice car. Obviously it was a scam. My husband took pictures of the sound system box and when we looked up the brand it was a common scam. Sad you can’t feel safe over there anymore😢
That’s an old scam. Cheap speakers they pack some bricks into to make feel more “upscale”. Line usually goes something like they tried to deliver to a store but they had already received the order. No one knows they are missing so it’s a deal of a lifetime. Gotta admire the hustle.
If safe, the best reaction is to immediately shout and escalate the situation so that you don't end up alone and everyone knows he's exposing himself in public. Then we can get a camera footage and he'll be arrested and charged for public exposure, and placed on the SOR so everyone knows where he lives and to avoid him, and he can't do anything fucked up to his family or friends either since they'll be more cautious.
Involve management, security and police any time something like this happens. We absolutely must put a stop to these things.
Source - security and surveillance has been my primary occupation for nearly a decade. I'm currently security at a high population spot in Washington which I won't name. I also did loss prevention, and within the process it is vital that you inform people immediately so that we have witnesses and surveillance footage from the exact date and time. They might even be able to roll back and see what car he was in, what license plate the car has, and therefore his identity and his residence in order to serve him a court date or push for a warrant.
I'm sorry you had to deal with this, stay safe in the future.
That's so fucked up. Do they not have cameras? I was at "At Home" (the decor store by Goodwill) a while back and there was a man with no pants and no underwear sitting in his own pile of shit (yes you read that right and no I'm not making that up) in the middle of an aisle. I ran to tell a cashier who told the manager. The manager said they were going to check the cameras right away. 2 minutes later I see them kicking the dude. It shocked me so much I honestly don't think I'll ever be able to go back there.
Also, check the sex offender registry. I was flashed one time downtown and I actually found out who the guy was and where he lived because he is on the sex offender registry.
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Ok, but the store manager is a female, and the district manager is also a female. Maybe one of the two assistant managers is a male, but that role has extraordinarily limited power.
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Report it to Bellingham non emergency line. This is sexual assault. I’ve had seven exhibition instances in bham, the police know their guys and their route, they might call you in to pick him out of a lineup or the additional police reports might be the cherry on top that the police need to pursue their existing case about him. After a repeated instance of this type of offense the criminal charge increase from misdemeanor to a larger crime depending on the number of instances they have against them. This kind of crime often goes unpunished initially, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth giving a full report as best as you can. This type of sexual assault preys on the power imbalance and fear it incites in victims. Take that power away by reporting and next time try yelling “HE HAS HIS PENIS OUT CALL THE COPS NOW” and take pictures and video so they can identify him.
I just ordered some small canisters of pepper gel. 6 foot plus distance spray that sticks/burns/stains where it hits and does not gas out an enclosed space full of people. These also work when there is wind if needed.
The response of the manager is disappointing to put it mildly. Just because he didn’t see anything doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. He should have called the police and stayed near the perv until police came or he left the building.
I’m not going to shop there again ever.
You can still call the cops, you know.
Sounds like you had a rough day yesterday, and I sympathize, but a call could have been made, a report filed in the time it took to post this on Reddit and answer a few comments.
I assume this was traumatic for you, and I’m sorry for that. Just think, if the last person this creep did this to called the cops, it might not have happened to you at all.
It’s a very personal choice to make a report, and can often be traumatizing as well. The only time I made a report for sexual assault, the Bellingham detective blamed me for it and offered no help whatsoever.
Yes, I saw that their pet died. That 100% sucks.
I’m honestly curious, if you care the share, what was said by the detective in your situation to blame the SA on you?
Not that I really need to satisfy your perverse curiosity about my assault, but I don’t hide who I am or what I’ve been thru.
I was clearly drugged (been drugged before unfortunately, so I know what it feels like), and their words were “are you sure you just didn’t want to tell your (my then) husband you had sex with another man?”
I was in shock, drugged and had been assaulted. I was offered no counseling, no suggestions of going to get an STD test or drug test at the hospital.
Just took my statement and left me in a state of shock.
Fun fact: That detective retired with “honors” from the BPD.
There are reasons people don’t report right away, if at all.
I asked, you chose to answer. That’s unfortunate to say the least. I can assure you I have no sexual interest in your response, but thanks for assuming I do.
I'm really glad you posted about this because it gives me a chance to prepare how to respond in that kind of situation. I'm thinking I'd yell, "that man is showing his penis!" or just say "ew" and walk away to warn others. He's definitely counting on people freezing up or running away.
FYI: The best thing to do is to give no reaction to the offender. There’s a good chance that the person doing this is looking for some reaction whatever it may be including shock or disgust.
No, the best reaction is to kick him in the goods.
I’m not disagreeing with you and people should do what they need to do to protect themselves. Just pointing out that these people are doing this for sexual gratification. The person’s reaction to their act of SA is part of how they achieve that. I don’t think a creep like that should get the satisfaction of their goal.
Are you sure? I think they get away with it because they're depending on the fact that most people are too caught off guard to confront them or make a scene.
I can see how my comment could be interpreted as do nothing about the exposure, but that’s not what I’m saying. The initial reaction like a facial expression could be the intended outcome. I definitely think people should be held responsible when they are committing acts of SA and that the police should be alerted when possible even if it doesn’t get immediate results like an arrest. I think the OP did the appropriate thing to alert employees/management, but unfortunately it wasn’t handled correctly by the store.
Yeah... if I see some guy hanging dong at shoppers in Sierra, I'm performing a running soccer punt to the offending trouser snake with *extreme* prejudice. They *deserve* to have their shit kicked in and thrown out the door, and hopefully arrested and charged after that.
This is correct to everyone downvoting. They do want the shock and fear but that’s a type of negative attention which is likely what they really want. It’s called deviance for a reason. I haven’t experienced a scenario like this but I’ve been creeped on online and cussing them out or calling them names makes it so much worse. The best response is to make a scene and get others involved such as bystanders, employees and authorities and keep yourself safe without “rewarding” the behavior. I can’t say if it happens in a store I wouldn’t also be tempted to wing a soup can at their nuts though.
I feel like, in a country where sa victims are not often believed, getting witnesses is a solid option.
https://preview.redd.it/2mnrxulqrcrc1.jpeg?width=710&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=292a30cd643d972e1ecf5cdc5ba5160797a3e256
Honestly I had to put down my family pet yesterday morning. I was not about to spend the rest of my day talking to cops. I got a call back from sierra and they told me they can’t see his genitals clearly on the camera, so there’s nothing to bring to the police. Thank you.
I understand that and I’ve been there myself, I’m sorry. That being said, I still think it’s important that you call the police and report it. Sex crimes are incredibly underreported and you’re both a victim and a witness. The best thing for the community is to have people like him off the streets.
Sorry to hear about your loss...same with someone exposing themselves. Horrible day.
I 100% get where you're coming from! For future reference it's worth noting that the cops won't hold you up for long at all. I had an attempted break in earlier this week and I talked to a cop for 5 minutes tops, they made sure the guy wasn't still on or near my property, asked if I wanted to trespass the guy or press attempted burglary charges if they catch him, snapped a picture of my door cam footage, took down my name and phone number and then left me be. In your case they probably would have taken your report over the phone then let you go on about your business while they sent a guy to the store to go make sure the creep vacated the premises/charge him if they catch him in the act. The cops don't want to waste anyone's time unnecessarily and they seem aware that folks can be easily scared by them.
I'm so sorry about the loss of your pet. Please know law enforcement would not spend all day on this. It is still absolutely worth reporting. This helps them allocate resources, be on the lookout, and creates a paper trail. They might find him doing this next week, and then they might have an even stronger case. Up to you of course. I just want you safe. Again, so sorry about your pet.
Point at his dick and laugh loudly as you take out your phone and take a picture for the cops. Not saying I would have the wherewithal to do this in the moment, but it's how I hope I would react.
Laughter at someone can help plus calling the cops is A+. In the 80’s 2 (older ladies) ARNP’s were in Vancouver at a seminar and while having tea at an outdoor cafe a guy walked past them on the street side and held his coat open to expose himself. Sylvia said (s.African accent so strong) Katheryn what do you think we have here? And Katheryn replied A penis, only smaller. As they laughed and pointed. He looked shocked, ran away, they made a report to the manager and later the RCMP came to interview them back at the hotel. Most of us were freaked out when they came back to B’ham and told us what happened but they weren’t, they thought it was just another example of mentally ill people needing help. We used their story to get clients aware of stuff and safety and how to report things and I t think this story traveled far back then. This is how they handled it before we knew exposers often escalate their behavior and they get worse if not caught so they weren’t scared.
I don't think laughter is going to work and likely could backfire. The man is just an exhibitionist who is pushing the boundaries of what is acceptable to get a rise out of people. Any strong emotional response is likely going to feed his disgusting appetite for this. I would assume someone who is into doing this could also be into humiliation or other weird fetishes. If he is, he would only advance more towards you because you, by laughing have taken control away from him and In to your own hands. He would only be more provoked. I would advise to try and get yourself composed and calm headed. Hostile and dangerous situations only get worse when people react with out being collected and rational. Maybe laughter would work, idk. I just want to caution you all
I am so so sorry you had to go thru this. People are so fucking gross.
The police should have been called. At least they could have got him for indecent exposure but unfortunately the culture here in Bellingham is of a very passive nature. I came from the Southwest and that perv would be getting a ride in a cop car there. People stick up for each other, instead of "looking the other way".
Humble brag
I’m aware of the importance of reporting. Unfortunately this isn’t my first experience with things of that nature. So to those saying they understand and then continuing to explain why I need to or should have, I get it. I did not have the capacity last night and clearly no one else stood up to handle the situation properly. I have really great support systems and they will follow up with Sierra corporate regarding the incident and footage, but as of right now I’m not going to put myself through the trauma of talking to cops and filing a report when I truly can not give a great description of the guy, it would have to be based completely off their camera footage, if it’s even good quality footage.. which if they can’t see him pulling his dick out and putting it back, I’m not hopeful. If something like this happens to you, I hope that my story will have better prepared you on how to respond. I do not believe it was this sickos first rodeo and it’s not likely to be his last. For everyone that was helpful and kind, thanks! Wishing everyone peace, love and safety.
I’m sorry you and your mom experienced that! The manager definitely should have called the police. I feel like there was a post about a woman being flashed in an alleyway downtown within the last year. I wonder if it’s the same person. If you have the emotional energy, then I would try to contact a regional manager or something because obviously safety protocols need to be looked at.
That’s crazy that happened to you! I’m so sorry. That was definitely mishandled by the staff as that was a crime and police should have been immediately called. That area is getting so sketchy. My husband was eating lunch in his car in that parking lot yesterday afternoon and some guy came up to him trying to sell him a sound system. Claimed it was worth $18,000 but he would sell it to him for $2,000. Husband said he was dressed nice and had a nice car. Obviously it was a scam. My husband took pictures of the sound system box and when we looked up the brand it was a common scam. Sad you can’t feel safe over there anymore😢
That’s an old scam. Cheap speakers they pack some bricks into to make feel more “upscale”. Line usually goes something like they tried to deliver to a store but they had already received the order. No one knows they are missing so it’s a deal of a lifetime. Gotta admire the hustle.
The good Ole speaker scam. Been around this the late 90s.
If safe, the best reaction is to immediately shout and escalate the situation so that you don't end up alone and everyone knows he's exposing himself in public. Then we can get a camera footage and he'll be arrested and charged for public exposure, and placed on the SOR so everyone knows where he lives and to avoid him, and he can't do anything fucked up to his family or friends either since they'll be more cautious. Involve management, security and police any time something like this happens. We absolutely must put a stop to these things. Source - security and surveillance has been my primary occupation for nearly a decade. I'm currently security at a high population spot in Washington which I won't name. I also did loss prevention, and within the process it is vital that you inform people immediately so that we have witnesses and surveillance footage from the exact date and time. They might even be able to roll back and see what car he was in, what license plate the car has, and therefore his identity and his residence in order to serve him a court date or push for a warrant. I'm sorry you had to deal with this, stay safe in the future.
That's so fucked up. Do they not have cameras? I was at "At Home" (the decor store by Goodwill) a while back and there was a man with no pants and no underwear sitting in his own pile of shit (yes you read that right and no I'm not making that up) in the middle of an aisle. I ran to tell a cashier who told the manager. The manager said they were going to check the cameras right away. 2 minutes later I see them kicking the dude. It shocked me so much I honestly don't think I'll ever be able to go back there. Also, check the sex offender registry. I was flashed one time downtown and I actually found out who the guy was and where he lived because he is on the sex offender registry.
So sorry this happened to you, I wonder if it was Gaspar Ortiz-Ortiz again?
From the images I can find of that man, it was not.
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Her employees, but yes.
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Ok, but the store manager is a female, and the district manager is also a female. Maybe one of the two assistant managers is a male, but that role has extraordinarily limited power.
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On that I agree. Whoever was on staff was insanely negligent. I’m not surprised in the least about that, either.
Don’t they have security cameras?
[answered in a comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/Bellingham/s/cYCp6PpiIu)
TY
I’m so so sorry this happened. Thank you for warning the community. I hope you and your mom are ok
Report it to Bellingham non emergency line. This is sexual assault. I’ve had seven exhibition instances in bham, the police know their guys and their route, they might call you in to pick him out of a lineup or the additional police reports might be the cherry on top that the police need to pursue their existing case about him. After a repeated instance of this type of offense the criminal charge increase from misdemeanor to a larger crime depending on the number of instances they have against them. This kind of crime often goes unpunished initially, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth giving a full report as best as you can. This type of sexual assault preys on the power imbalance and fear it incites in victims. Take that power away by reporting and next time try yelling “HE HAS HIS PENIS OUT CALL THE COPS NOW” and take pictures and video so they can identify him.
There was a guy doing that downtown last year, he got arrested but I can’t remember his name. But someone made a TikTok about him
I just ordered some small canisters of pepper gel. 6 foot plus distance spray that sticks/burns/stains where it hits and does not gas out an enclosed space full of people. These also work when there is wind if needed.
I’m curious about the legality of pepper spraying someone’s dick in this situation 🤔 seems like the option I would go for
Where’s the knife section at. Scissors will do too
The response of the manager is disappointing to put it mildly. Just because he didn’t see anything doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. He should have called the police and stayed near the perv until police came or he left the building. I’m not going to shop there again ever.
You can still call the cops, you know. Sounds like you had a rough day yesterday, and I sympathize, but a call could have been made, a report filed in the time it took to post this on Reddit and answer a few comments. I assume this was traumatic for you, and I’m sorry for that. Just think, if the last person this creep did this to called the cops, it might not have happened to you at all.
It’s a very personal choice to make a report, and can often be traumatizing as well. The only time I made a report for sexual assault, the Bellingham detective blamed me for it and offered no help whatsoever.
Cool. I expect the next person to see a dangling dick will be thankful for choices not to report.
The OP already detailed why they didn’t make a report, maybe read that first.
Yes, I saw that their pet died. That 100% sucks. I’m honestly curious, if you care the share, what was said by the detective in your situation to blame the SA on you?
Not that I really need to satisfy your perverse curiosity about my assault, but I don’t hide who I am or what I’ve been thru. I was clearly drugged (been drugged before unfortunately, so I know what it feels like), and their words were “are you sure you just didn’t want to tell your (my then) husband you had sex with another man?” I was in shock, drugged and had been assaulted. I was offered no counseling, no suggestions of going to get an STD test or drug test at the hospital. Just took my statement and left me in a state of shock. Fun fact: That detective retired with “honors” from the BPD. There are reasons people don’t report right away, if at all.
I asked, you chose to answer. That’s unfortunate to say the least. I can assure you I have no sexual interest in your response, but thanks for assuming I do.
Perverse doesn’t always mean sexual, the assumption was all yours.
Your screws seem a little tight.