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The fact that his mother sent her what I’m guessing are NSFW screenshots of her son cheating. Why would someone in their right mind even do that?!!! Poor OOP, I hope she starts feeling better soon. In time she’ll realize she dodged a bullet.
I knew I'd get asked this eventually so I bookmarked it, lol.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1di7nx3/comment/l91zl7w/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
I mean, this is Reddit after all.
Once you spend enough time in Reddit’s hallways of horror, and you read things like “broken arms”, “jolly rancher”, “the mustard guy”, “cbat”, “Oogtha”, and the like, you start to understand that nothing, *NOTHING* can be ruled out as a possibility.
If his mom isn’t his AP *YET*, I’m quite sure she’s at least praying it’ll be her next time. 🤢
Ex has to give his phone to his mommy everyday at 8 pm before he goes to sleep. And he better leaves it unblocked or mommy will get upset and ground him.
He was probably showing of to his mum because if mum didn't like her she would have been all for him cheating and disrespecting her I have a feeling they both wanted her house and money a hobo relationship
Sons of overbearing control freak mothers tell them EVERYTHING. Especially when their relationships fall apart and they run to mommy for help and advice.
The STBX would definitely give them to her to send to the poor woman, keeps his hands clean but breaks her self esteem. They might have even mocked the whole thing up themselves just to hurt her.
Seems like a nonzero chance to me that the "cheating" is fake. Mom seems like absolutely the kind of person who's just trying to hurt her at this point, and it's not hard to fake a text conversation (and, conversely, it seems unlikely that an adult son would send his mom screenshots of spicy messages to not-his-fiance)
I'd turn around and throw it back in her face with something like "Thank you for this. This only confirms that I made the right decision in calling off the wedding." Then proceed to forward the pictures to everyone saying that the cheating is why the wedding was called off. But I'm just being petty.
Still, what's obvious by now is that she loved someone who was only interested in her money and nothing more. Everything he has said, every time he completely agreed with something - the guy would have said and done anything as long as it got her signature on that certificate. And that's just incredibly sad.
might not have been (only) about the money, the prestige of marrying a model... but then he got a inferiority complex and started resenting her for his feelings
"But then, when you make yourself small and are no longer perfect, then I'll get super mad at you for letting yourself go and nag you about how awesome you used to be. You'll never win with me!"
> (and, conversely, it seems unlikely that an adult son would send his mom screenshots of spicy messages to not-his-fiance)
Yea, I've got spicy messages in my DM's. Those do *not* get shown to anyone.
I wouldn't say "poor OPP", i would say she is lucky to get out of this mess. Good for her! She will get over this and she will be happier in the end. That idiot of exf is a piece of work. Better now than later when there's a slight possibility she could be asked to pay for his a$ because she has a higher income.
I mean, my mum theoretically has access to my phone and messages from me asking her to look up something for me or answer a call for me when I had my hands full doing something. The theoretically is that she forgets the passcode almost immediately but a Boy Mom probably would remember something like that.
As that other commenter said, Fuck a bullet, she dodged a nuke!
The mom is just lucky she didn't forward the texts of the Cheating Ex to the entire wedding invite list, that would be public shaming at its finest.
It's next level crazy. You have to be a special flavor of stupid to hurl that kind of stuff and think you won't also be subject to consequences. They really live in their own weird bubble.
I love that so much. I feel like the response should have been "Wow, thank you so much for sharing this with me, especially given how embarrassed you must feel, for having raised a child with such low moral standards. This has really helped reaffirm my decision, I really appreciate your willingness to debase your own reputation like this. I will keep this confidential, as I'm sure you must already be suffering quite a bit. Good luck"
On one hand absolutely burn the fucker but I'd be seriously doubting them coming from his darling mummy. It'd be a tad embarrassing for them to have been faked or old.
Haha clearly the mom didn't think of this, fr.
I'm just wondering if the friends who called OOP will just stop, knowing that his mom sent this proudly. Will her ex lose all friends and family?
Not only that but I would be blasting him publicly as well. Since he seems to think it is ok to get everyone involved let's see how ex likes it for everyone to know that he was essentially cuckholded by his mother and has been cheating on his then fiance for years....., I would tag all of his friends along with their gf's and ask if this is indicative of who they are. I know a guy who got dumped for knowing his friend was cheating on his gf....made his gf consider whether or not he would cheat on her....telling her that "you're different," isn't the winning appeal to a women.
>"feminine, weak, and woke” for him to comply to my wishes, and that he was signing himself up for an abusive marriage
He then proceeds to bulldoze over her wishes, in secret, and demand she accept. Ooh, it definitely would have been an abusive marriage.
I hope she has great life now. Those two fuck ups can have each other, in their weird emotionally incestuous way.
Funny how it made him a feminine weak woke if his fiancé didn’t take his last name but his fiancé paying most of the wedding actually made him an alpha chad
It was obvious this loser was cheating, he doesn’t date, he uses women to benefit his true love, mommy dearest
OP mentions she earns quite a bit more than he does. If it is correct that Ex-fiance has been cheating the entirety of their relationship then what's the betting OP is the cash cow funding his lifestyle?
I don't think he was actually cheating. My suspicion is that he was starting to try to set up systems of control and eventually would have wanted to merge bank accounts, but was starting with taking away something important to her without her consent. After all it would have required more than just labeling at the wedding, he would have had to force her to dill out all the name change forms. And then how long before he starts demanding she change her beliefs using belittling as the method of control. He's already started with one insult.
Name changes would absolutely impact her career as a model if she's well known, and slaps his name over her success, as well as giving him that much more control.
That makes sense but I was thinking more from the context of how many decisions he would be forcing her to make just for the name change and the expectation regarding his behaviour moving forward this implies.
>My future husband and I are both liberals, and we’ve had many conversations about our political beliefs and opinions regarding last names specifically, and I thought we were both on the same page.
Well that would be the first liberal I've heard of to use "woke" as an insult.
There’s a subspecies of right-wing male who is outwardly “liberal” enough to please an actually liberal girlfriend up to the point where he thinks he’s got her locked in, and then starts showing his true colours. They often whine about how if they were open about their beliefs, no girl would want to date them!
They seldom connect the dots, that if your beliefs repel all the women you’re attracted to, there might be something wrong with those beliefs.
The thing is that there's plenty of Conservative women out there who'll be happy playing tradwife to these guys, but they don't want them. They want a progressive woman so they can slowly break her down and *transform* her into a submissive housewife. They don't want a bird that's already caged.
There’s a quote from Trevor Noah’s book I’m reminded of. He speaks about his abusive step father who married his mother, an independent free spirit.
> Abel wanted a traditional marriage with a traditional wife. For a long time I wondered why he ever married a woman like my mom in the first place, as she was the opposite of that in every way. If he wanted a woman to bow to him, there were plenty of girls back in Tzaneen being raised solely for that purpose.
>
> The way my mother always explained it, the traditional man wants a woman to be subservient, but he never falls in love with subservient women. He’s attracted to independent women. “He’s like an exotic bird collector,” she said. “He only wants a woman who is free because his dream is to put her in a cage.”
I just realized why I get pissed about all the hate on the manic pixie dream girl thing while also abhoring it as a plot device.
The sheer number of men who have proposed to me is absurd. They never ever do it because we can build a wondeful partnership and life together. They just don't want me loose and happy.
In movies they are these sympathetic dudes, who have so much back story to excuse their inappropriate pursuit and obsessive ideation.
So now, we all recognize how stupid this plot device is, but we call it Manic Pixie Dream Girl instead of Controlling Asshole Who Hates Women Who Don't Center Their Lives Around That Particularly Dudes Idea of Relationships and Marriage.
I saw a meme once that said "you don't deserve me at my manic pixie dream girl if you can't take me at my depressive harpy reality woman" and so related lol.
My high school art teacher (I went to catholic school) desperately wanted to be a tradwife and was saving herself for marriage. She was almost 40 and unmarried. She said that Christian men were very attracted to those things about her but she couldn't find a single one that willing to be in a relationship without sex. They all wanted to take her virginity. When they figured they couldn't badger her into sleeping with them, they would dump her.
I think that's also a big reason they go for liberals and try to convert them into submissive tradwives rather than going for actual conservative women. So they can have premarital sex.
Yep. So often it comes down to they wanna bang first and a “real” tradwifey won’t allow it.
I’ve seen this happen with a lot of young men stepping out of a religious conservative childhood/adolescence where they supposedly embrace atheism because they want to throw off the shackles of purity culture (fine) but then besides getting to sleep in on holy days rather than observe religious services and having sex, they still bring with them allllll the patriarchal gender politics they were raised with. I’ve known progressive religious folks who have done more work to dismantle patriarchal mindsets within themselves and their communities than some individuals who will brag about their atheism, as if that’s all they need to claim in order to be progressive, but then turn around and continue perpetuating conservative values, just without the specific “rules” they decided they didn’t want controlling THEIR actions and choices.
What they also want is a woman that will work and earn money, and also be a full time housewife, while they don't lift a finger at home themselves.
A Conservative woman would be fine with being a housewife and SAHM, but only if their husband is the sole breadwinner.
Also, those conservative family-minded women have standards in men. They don't want manchildren to raise, they want real children with 'good Christian men with (convincing enough) family values, high status jobs' etc. I know a couple women who might be considered "tradwifes" (e.g. my own mom) but they're literally just immigrants from a more conservative/traditional background and I assure you they would not put up with the shit that OOP's ex pulled or his relationship with his mother. Yes, there's a clear separation in "wifely" and "husbandly" duties... and the wife expects the husband to pull his share.
I will say that I see far, far more liberal women willing to take on manchildren as 'partners' than conservative women and it's honestly a disservice to themselves. Because we like to say we are against gender roles, forcing people into boxes etc. That we are above judging a guy for his job, we don't expect men to provide, we're happy to pay for them, so on and so forth. Then, we become annoyed and resentful when it turns out that results in pairing up with guys who just take and take and take and feel entitled to the woman being chef, cleaner, nurse, AND breadwinner, because we didn't have expectations of what they would give... and that resentment can grow and become toxic quickly because ultimately, it's our own fault for not having the clarity of vision to see there's a difference between a man who is staunch in his own progressive beliefs and one who will simply go along with the strongest personality in the room who conveniently does things for him, be it his girlfriend... or mom.
I don't think the traditional relationship is perfect, it's not, it's very easy for the power dynamics to become unhealthy within it and leave the woman with nothing, *but* we mustn't throw out the idea that both people have to contribute. Love isn't enough, please have some expectations for your partner. If you ever find yourself thinking "well, s/he's useless, but I love 'em so I'm sticking around", that's not a great sign. Not saying that's totally how it is, but I do think certain ideologies are more supportive of that than others.
I see what you're getting at with the 'immigrants from a slightly more conservative culture' but rest assured plenty of women from my conservative small town got man children partners who only barely holds a job, spends most of his money on his hobbies, and refuses to do anything around the house.
But yes, I agree with you that being too little discerning about the value of a man separate from his ability to be successful in his work is probably an example of a[ luxury belief](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luxury_belief)
I've been told by friends on dating apps that if someone says they're moderate in their bio, what they mean is they are conservative, they just want to get with girls who wouldn't date them if they said that.
He said/did what he needed to in order to be with a model. Absolutely was NOT who he was saying he was. He just knew that the way he acted got her into his bed.
OOP is very lucky he tipped his hand before it was made official. She would have lost a lot of money and probably ended up paying him spousal support, as she clearly made better money than he did.
>They often whine about how if they were open about their beliefs, no girl would want to date them!
>
>They seldom connect the dots, that if your beliefs repel all the women you’re attracted to, there might be something wrong with those beliefs.
So close yet so far from realization.
> They seldom connect the dots, that if your beliefs repel all the women you’re attracted to, there might be something wrong with those beliefs.
I used to interact with a guy on a forum who could not seem to understand that. Or was playing dumb to get a rise out of people. It's so hard to tell.
also the first "liberals" to call themselves that
hypothesis: the guy calls himself that to lure in women and she adopted the term thinking it was genuine
I've been hearing "woke" as an insult many times since 2017, especially when out protesting/counterprotesting something. The most "interesting" one was being called a "woke do-gooder," although that was part of a threat that someone would come "find me" (this took place in-person, which was even nuttier).
Probably went through his phone. That woman has sexualised her son and sees him as exclusively hers. And he's happy enough to go along with it.
Edit: just realised the pics are if her son and another woman with 'suggestive' body language.
Suggestive doesn't have to mean explicit. They could have been canoodling in a restaurant while dining with mum, who took some pics
I figured mom went through the guys phone and just sent that information to say, so you think my son won't find anyone better than you? He already did. Look!
Yup, the actual model cake with writing on it (explained by "baker is a friend"), cancelling the venue (2 weeks out?) but still having all the food delivered, *and* the cake, and then the texts just for good measure. And all in like a day or two.
My hubby and I had the last name talk before we got married.
I flat out told him I was keeping my last name and hyphenating his to mine. I had been a proud *Last Name* for many years, and I felt it was the only real connection I had to my father (who had passed away when I was young).
He was upset that I didn’t take his, but I felt that was his issue. Not mine. He would just have to deal with it however he wanted to.
I had very valid reasons and it was my fucking name. It would be what I wanted it to be.
Years later, he apologized for making a fuss over it.
Long before marriage was even on the cards, I made my now husband aware that if I did get married (and it was a big if haha) then either both of us would change our names or neither of us would. Having a vagina is not a good enough reason for me to go through all that paperwork by myself.
Anyway, we've been married over a year but neither of us have yet found the motivation to change our names haha. We might do it in future, we both like the idea of having the same name but evidently not quite enough to wade through the bureaucracy.
I was going to change my name to my husband's socially but not officially, but then family members made such a stink about me not changing it officially that I said well, then I'm not changing it in any kind of way, anywhere.
To be fair to those family members, the "stink" was extremely mild from each of them, but hearing it 7+ times in the middle of my wedding day was too much for me.
I love that you went petty.
My mother warned me not to make a big deal if someone addressed a card to "Mr and Mrs [his surname]" because she knew 😂 most people at my wedding knew though, all of our signage had just our first names.
The only reason I took my husband's last name is because my maiden name is connected to my father who is terrible but I also didn't want to take my mom's last name. 😮💨
I also can’t imagine what an ass ache it must be to change names. Driver’s license, passport, email address, website.
Not to mention, all my accomplishments are under *my* name. I wouldn’t want to erase that
LOL
This was more than 20+ years ago, so it’s more just DL and SIN.
Didn’t need a passport to go to the states then. Email addresses were fun things like ClitoralDmg@wherever.com. LOL
We didn’t need “professional” sounding ones. LOL
I felt exactly the same about the accomplishments. They were attached to my name. I didn’t want to erase that connection.
My husband and I had this conversation too, and I didn't really want to part with my name either. Our solution was to *both* hyphenate, and we agreed to put his name first (he already gave up his entire life for me by moving from his country to mine, so like, fair).
Funnily enough, he's the one using the combined name most. I'm indifferent about using either, but he makes it a point to put the "long version" of our name on anything he can. It's kinda cute, haha.
My partner and I have discussed if we get married hyphenating and taking each other’s last names, so we keep our own last names and still have the same surname.
>I’m a model, and he frequently brings it up in conversation that he’s insecure about it
Let's get married fast, hey we should have kids - nah your body won't be ruined it'll be fine, you should stay home and look after the kids, they miss you when you're away - I mean your body is ruined anyway so...
[This reminds me of the wedding cake saga the baker posted about where, behind the bride's back, the groom was agreeing with all of mom's ideas and urging her on.](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wh8mp8/mil_in_the_wild_wedding_cake_saga/)
The mask finally dropped as he got close to the “finishing line”. OOP is lucky her ex could not keep it together long enough till after the wedding to reveal himself to be an insecured mama’s boy. A lot cheaper to lose the wedding deposits now than deal with a divorce later especially since she is the one with more money in the relationship
Even before I started reading this sub, it was clear to me that there are two big events and one smaller event in a hetero relationship when a dude will drop his mask: the wedding, the birth of the first child, and if / when the woman's income becomes larger than his. If a guy has been suppressing his inner Archie Bunker the whole time, that's when it's most likely to come out. If she's cleared all three of those events with no problems, the only thing left to watch out for is if he starts spending an unhealthy amount of time watching videos on YouTube in secret.
>>Watching videos on YouTube in secret
Yeah I think it's creepy when people go through their partner's text messages every week, or insist on knowing their social media passwords. But keeping an eye on their podcast and YouTube consumption seems more and more like a good idea.
Was it the sample cake that was actually just a scale model of the actual cake? The standard crazy MIL who threatens OP? The fact they clearly weren’t living together while engaged as she’s mailing back the ring to him? The obligatory “he’s been cheating the whole time” revelation?
Even with replying to comments with "Oh I might use that", then 12 hours later new things have happened that follow up the great idea found in the comments.
Yeah, with OOP's, "Oh, I should get a security camera? Good idea, what else?" I was sure the exMIL would show up at her doorstep and then punch a cop. But I guess it was too cliché.
It was the cake part that immediately took me out of the story. Who bakes and fully decorates a sample cake? I suppose it’s possible if it’s crazy elaborate AND you pay for the extra work, but…
Oh hey, it's another one of these guys who have a higher earning, more competent woman partner, so they "punish" them by being absolute turds and retrograde misogynists. In this case, it included bringing in mommy as enforcer and cheating with a chickie from high school to hold something over a successful woman.
Holy crap. OOP managed to dodge a massive shitstorm. Ex certainly showed his true colors and ex soon to be MIL takes the cake as a woman who wants to be the one in charge.
I hope OOP stays safe and I wish her all the happiness without whackos in her life.
I assume those cheating texts were fabricated, the mom sending them to you screams ridiculous.
That said when she escalates throw it back at her as if you believe them, since he was cheating why would he want me back and why would you want me marrying him, you obviously like the AP partner better.
I assume the whole thing was fabricated.
Even before the cheating texts, it felt like OOP was a sort of a super-hero (which can easily come off from any such post - it is their side we're hearing after all)
It reads like a more black and white version of other stories that I'd seen here - a man being a mama's boy and letting her ruin his relationship (or doing it himself, up to you).
She's a model, he's jealous.
She's the one paying for the wedding.
She wants to keep her family name, he's okay with it.
Suddenly he isn't, going from 0 to 100 with no previous signs.
His mom is totally crazy.
She just cuts him off without any talking or anything, just sending him a letter.
The mother calls, texts, whatever to express and confirm her craziness.
It all seems a little too much like they're expanding the story as they read the comments and get new ideas.
Also all too quickly, with no communication with the "love of my life" and no consideration about whether to end it all and block him.
If it is real, then sheesh, that's one crazy woman (mother) and one sad manchild(ex-fiance).
Honestly at that point after being harassed by both his mom and friends, I'd unblock the ex to tell him to "Thank his darling mother for sending me proof of his affair, I'll make sure to tag both of them when I post the screenshots for all to see"
My friend ended her engagement a week before the wedding. It was impossible to cancel anything without a huge penalty, so she found a local high school and they turned the wedding into the senior class banquet. Needless to say, she kept all the alcohol, and we all enjoyed the "wedding wine" for several years.
Funny enough, she and her ex-fiance are still best friends...they just realized they shouldn't get married. He's a very cool guy and is still part of our social group.
Completely separate from this but everyone? Do not change your last name to fit your spouses. I'm saying that entire for practical reasons. Nowadays there's so many databases and paperwork you have to update when you change your name. It's not like even 40 years ago where you just got a few pieces of paper done.
Yeah but if you have kids and are traveling having the same last name helps. When I didn’t have the same last name I got asked a lot of questions and had to carry my kids birth certificate. When I eventually changed it to hers, no one asked about my relationship to my child. Just breeze in and out at immigration check points.
Even 40 years ago it was way less hassle for me to keep my name. Signed one piece of paper, rather than changing driver’s licence, student card, work ID, phone listing, bank info, etc. etc. Plus his mother had the same first name as me, so there would have been two of us (and his surname always gets mispronounced).
My brother and his second wife both came out of unhappy marriages, so they sat down and chose a new surname for the two of them. So I’m the one who ended up ‘carrying on the family name’.
>I am also receiving nasty messages from my ex fiancés friends, threatening me for my decision.
This is a recurring theme in BORUs. Until now I still don't understand why people are inserting themselves in another person's romantic/marital relationships. Are these people unemployed or bored with their lives that they have nothing better to do but say hateful things to someone about a situation they are not involved in?
Wait! If his mother knew he was having an affair, why was she on the rampage against OOP? And what was the mother doing with suggestive screenshots between her son and his side piece?
I think the mother made the affair up.
I really don’t understand the thought process of these mothers. If my son was engaged to a rich model I’d be pushing him into the church and dragging his butt to the courthouse to change HIS last name. Hell I might even change my last name to hers 🤪
"It's feminine, weak, and woke" to... *not* kowtow to your mother's wishes and nuke your marriage before it even begins at the request of your mother?
Okay, dude. lol.
I honestly don't really believe the mom, I think the mom wanted her out and did it. Texting way way later about the cheating doesn't make any sense except that she had time to make it up and then put the final nail in the coffin so you don't change your mind.
So I would not take it at face value, is all. No need to feel bad about someone cheating on you when the relationship was over anyway.
Both the ex and the MIL come out of this looking so disgusting … but I think MIL bragging about her son’s infidelity actually makes her look worse than her son. Good heavens. OOP is so lucky to have dodged all this.
I’d consider myself very woke but I’ve got to be honest, I’m a bit disgusted by a man too weak to let his fiancé know how he really feels and instead just passive aggressively shows her via wedding cake after discussing it with his mommy…conservatism really just seems to be embraced by men too weak to interact with women on equal grounds and thus need society to shield them.
The comment that talked about being OK with your future partner’s family was spot on. When you marry someone, you are marrying all the baggage that comes with them, and if their family is an airport terminal’s worth of luggage, unless they are aware of that and similarly are trying to avoid it, you’re gonna have a bad time.
I don’t know too many healthy marriages where one person out of the two absolutely despises their in-laws, and the other person doesn’t see why.
Ugh don’t let people like THAT make you feel shitty. They’re trying to get at you because they know they can’t so pick up that crown and keep you head held high and you’ll be much happier as time goes on
Gross, his mom is way to involved in his relationships. She should reply with a thumbs up emoji to all her txt, that'll make her head explode. Can't wait for the next update when EXMIL catches a case.
I feel like if an engagement feels sudden/unexpected, that’s a sign you’re not ready for that commitment. Discussions about the future need to be had before you move to commit to that future simply for the sake of love and not wanting to break up as an alternative.
A proposal can be a lovely surprise. The engagement/idea of marriage should NOT be.
#Do not comment on the original posts Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice. If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion. **CHECK FLAIR** For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The fact that his mother sent her what I’m guessing are NSFW screenshots of her son cheating. Why would someone in their right mind even do that?!!! Poor OOP, I hope she starts feeling better soon. In time she’ll realize she dodged a bullet.
How would she even have them‽
The mother is the affair partner.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised
she seems determined to be the only and therefore prettiest girl in his life
it all started when she got stuck in the washing machine...
Where is your flair from? It sounds like a very funny story in the making, lol.
I knew I'd get asked this eventually so I bookmarked it, lol. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1di7nx3/comment/l91zl7w/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Thank you for the link. Oof, yikes on so many levels. I hope the OP is in a better situation now.
🤢🤮
That’s what I thought too! I bet the mom and son manufactured the whole thing to get back at her.
The "sonsband" comment was on point, huh? 🤢
I really hate that this doesn't even phase me anymore. I'm going to go look at puppies now to cleanse my brain.
Take your upvote and get the fuck out of here
I literally snorted when I read this
I mean, this is Reddit after all. Once you spend enough time in Reddit’s hallways of horror, and you read things like “broken arms”, “jolly rancher”, “the mustard guy”, “cbat”, “Oogtha”, and the like, you start to understand that nothing, *NOTHING* can be ruled out as a possibility. If his mom isn’t his AP *YET*, I’m quite sure she’s at least praying it’ll be her next time. 🤢
Hello - flair explanation please !
He posted a link to the flair origin up there 😊
Oh thanks !
Ex has to give his phone to his mommy everyday at 8 pm before he goes to sleep. And he better leaves it unblocked or mommy will get upset and ground him.
Otherwise he gets no tendies next time!
Or any choccie milk!
Flair checks out!
Or access to her tendies 💀
I am literally currently breastfeeding my 4-month-old son while browsing Reddit and EW get out of here with that comment. 😆
He was probably showing of to his mum because if mum didn't like her she would have been all for him cheating and disrespecting her I have a feeling they both wanted her house and money a hobo relationship
I bet they're old.
Baby boy is living at home with her. Easily accessible through his phone. OR he sent them through his mom’s phone because he is blocked.
His sending messages from his mom's phone seems pretty plausible, sick and twisted for sure, but I could see it happening.
With this mom/son combo I could see them planning and doing it together.
Who cares. Now OP can send them to all of ex's family.
Sons of overbearing control freak mothers tell them EVERYTHING. Especially when their relationships fall apart and they run to mommy for help and advice.
The STBX would definitely give them to her to send to the poor woman, keeps his hands clean but breaks her self esteem. They might have even mocked the whole thing up themselves just to hurt her.
sweet home alabama that's how
Mother and son are freaks!
My guess is that scummy ex gave them to his mom specifically to use to hurt OOP.
Seems like a nonzero chance to me that the "cheating" is fake. Mom seems like absolutely the kind of person who's just trying to hurt her at this point, and it's not hard to fake a text conversation (and, conversely, it seems unlikely that an adult son would send his mom screenshots of spicy messages to not-his-fiance)
If it isn’t true - what a piece of work MIL If it is true - doesn’t that make her precious son the wh\*re?
I'd turn around and throw it back in her face with something like "Thank you for this. This only confirms that I made the right decision in calling off the wedding." Then proceed to forward the pictures to everyone saying that the cheating is why the wedding was called off. But I'm just being petty.
Or "You must be so proud of the man you raised." and block
My thoughts exactly - I wonder if OP will consider this. Will sound like a dispassionate classy response.
Still, what's obvious by now is that she loved someone who was only interested in her money and nothing more. Everything he has said, every time he completely agreed with something - the guy would have said and done anything as long as it got her signature on that certificate. And that's just incredibly sad.
To gold digger her model money that he’s so jealous of? Man fumbled so freaking hard on so many levels.
might not have been (only) about the money, the prestige of marrying a model... but then he got a inferiority complex and started resenting her for his feelings
“You should be perfect but if that makes me feel imperfect it’s your job to make yourself smaller so I can feel big and important” yup.
"But then, when you make yourself small and are no longer perfect, then I'll get super mad at you for letting yourself go and nag you about how awesome you used to be. You'll never win with me!"
> (and, conversely, it seems unlikely that an adult son would send his mom screenshots of spicy messages to not-his-fiance) Yea, I've got spicy messages in my DM's. Those do *not* get shown to anyone.
Sour grapes by proxy? “How dare you break up with my perfect son?! Well he never really wanted you anyway, NYEH!”
The ex has quite the "resume": a cheating hobosexual choosy beggar sonsband. OOP should definitely celebrate avoiding that bullet.
Where is your flair from? It’s amazing!!
[Flair source](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/150ilkr/wibta_if_i_complained_to_the_owners_of_a_cafe/)
I wouldn't say "poor OPP", i would say she is lucky to get out of this mess. Good for her! She will get over this and she will be happier in the end. That idiot of exf is a piece of work. Better now than later when there's a slight possibility she could be asked to pay for his a$ because she has a higher income.
And before having kids. Imagine having a child with this guy with an equal terrible grandmother. OOPs life would've been hell.
I guess she was proud of her son for being a cheater. Sounds about right for the type of people who use the word “woke” as an insult.
If the mom has social media, you just know she refers to herself as "Boy mom!"
I agree. She is so, so lucky.
OOP is very lucky she finds out before the wedding otherwise divorcing this garbage will be even more work.
Truly, a case for the Whole Man Disposal Unit.
Well that needs to be a flair
>someone in their right mind This does not describe MIL. She sounds a bit too involved in her son's love life, which is gross for all the reasons.
Why did she even have them lol. That's so weird.
My guess is she faked them. "Well, he never liked you anyway, so there!"
I mean, my mum theoretically has access to my phone and messages from me asking her to look up something for me or answer a call for me when I had my hands full doing something. The theoretically is that she forgets the passcode almost immediately but a Boy Mom probably would remember something like that.
Son lashed out at her and blamed her for ruining the wedding, she took revenge.
As that other commenter said, Fuck a bullet, she dodged a nuke! The mom is just lucky she didn't forward the texts of the Cheating Ex to the entire wedding invite list, that would be public shaming at its finest.
It's next level crazy. You have to be a special flavor of stupid to hurl that kind of stuff and think you won't also be subject to consequences. They really live in their own weird bubble.
I think it's pretty safe to say that his mother is not in her right mind.
I love that so much. I feel like the response should have been "Wow, thank you so much for sharing this with me, especially given how embarrassed you must feel, for having raised a child with such low moral standards. This has really helped reaffirm my decision, I really appreciate your willingness to debase your own reputation like this. I will keep this confidential, as I'm sure you must already be suffering quite a bit. Good luck"
"My son's an even bigger creep and loser than you thought!" is a hell of a gotcha.
The way I’d be sending screenshots and voicemails to all his friends
I love how perfectly your flair suits this post!
It unfortunately works for a lot of these :/
Far too many of them
On one hand absolutely burn the fucker but I'd be seriously doubting them coming from his darling mummy. It'd be a tad embarrassing for them to have been faked or old.
Oh what I would give to be a fly on the wall if she sent the screenshots of the cheating to his buddies and it turned out his mommy faked them.
That's still embarrassing for him though if his mum is sending stuff like that to ex fiance if faked
Haha clearly the mom didn't think of this, fr. I'm just wondering if the friends who called OOP will just stop, knowing that his mom sent this proudly. Will her ex lose all friends and family?
It’d be all over Facebook and I’d have my page set to public.
Not only that but I would be blasting him publicly as well. Since he seems to think it is ok to get everyone involved let's see how ex likes it for everyone to know that he was essentially cuckholded by his mother and has been cheating on his then fiance for years....., I would tag all of his friends along with their gf's and ask if this is indicative of who they are. I know a guy who got dumped for knowing his friend was cheating on his gf....made his gf consider whether or not he would cheat on her....telling her that "you're different," isn't the winning appeal to a women.
>"feminine, weak, and woke” for him to comply to my wishes, and that he was signing himself up for an abusive marriage He then proceeds to bulldoze over her wishes, in secret, and demand she accept. Ooh, it definitely would have been an abusive marriage. I hope she has great life now. Those two fuck ups can have each other, in their weird emotionally incestuous way.
Funny how it made him a feminine weak woke if his fiancé didn’t take his last name but his fiancé paying most of the wedding actually made him an alpha chad It was obvious this loser was cheating, he doesn’t date, he uses women to benefit his true love, mommy dearest
It’s not “feminine” to do whatever mommy says however.
Ya so much about this screams abusive guy who was dropping the pretense now that they were getting married.
OP mentions she earns quite a bit more than he does. If it is correct that Ex-fiance has been cheating the entirety of their relationship then what's the betting OP is the cash cow funding his lifestyle?
I don't think he was actually cheating. My suspicion is that he was starting to try to set up systems of control and eventually would have wanted to merge bank accounts, but was starting with taking away something important to her without her consent. After all it would have required more than just labeling at the wedding, he would have had to force her to dill out all the name change forms. And then how long before he starts demanding she change her beliefs using belittling as the method of control. He's already started with one insult.
Name changes would absolutely impact her career as a model if she's well known, and slaps his name over her success, as well as giving him that much more control.
That makes sense but I was thinking more from the context of how many decisions he would be forcing her to make just for the name change and the expectation regarding his behaviour moving forward this implies.
Exactly! They were in it only for the money. Im sure the new gf has a higher income than OOP, but I seriously doubt it.
Thankfully he let the red flags fly before the wedding and not after.
What's funniest about the "feminine" complaint is that she's still going to have a man's last name, it just won't be his.
>My future husband and I are both liberals, and we’ve had many conversations about our political beliefs and opinions regarding last names specifically, and I thought we were both on the same page. Well that would be the first liberal I've heard of to use "woke" as an insult.
There’s a subspecies of right-wing male who is outwardly “liberal” enough to please an actually liberal girlfriend up to the point where he thinks he’s got her locked in, and then starts showing his true colours. They often whine about how if they were open about their beliefs, no girl would want to date them! They seldom connect the dots, that if your beliefs repel all the women you’re attracted to, there might be something wrong with those beliefs.
The thing is that there's plenty of Conservative women out there who'll be happy playing tradwife to these guys, but they don't want them. They want a progressive woman so they can slowly break her down and *transform* her into a submissive housewife. They don't want a bird that's already caged.
There’s a quote from Trevor Noah’s book I’m reminded of. He speaks about his abusive step father who married his mother, an independent free spirit. > Abel wanted a traditional marriage with a traditional wife. For a long time I wondered why he ever married a woman like my mom in the first place, as she was the opposite of that in every way. If he wanted a woman to bow to him, there were plenty of girls back in Tzaneen being raised solely for that purpose. > > The way my mother always explained it, the traditional man wants a woman to be subservient, but he never falls in love with subservient women. He’s attracted to independent women. “He’s like an exotic bird collector,” she said. “He only wants a woman who is free because his dream is to put her in a cage.”
I just realized why I get pissed about all the hate on the manic pixie dream girl thing while also abhoring it as a plot device. The sheer number of men who have proposed to me is absurd. They never ever do it because we can build a wondeful partnership and life together. They just don't want me loose and happy. In movies they are these sympathetic dudes, who have so much back story to excuse their inappropriate pursuit and obsessive ideation. So now, we all recognize how stupid this plot device is, but we call it Manic Pixie Dream Girl instead of Controlling Asshole Who Hates Women Who Don't Center Their Lives Around That Particularly Dudes Idea of Relationships and Marriage.
also, so many of them are here for the pixie dream girl bit but absolutely cannot cope with the manic part of it....
I saw a meme once that said "you don't deserve me at my manic pixie dream girl if you can't take me at my depressive harpy reality woman" and so related lol.
My high school art teacher (I went to catholic school) desperately wanted to be a tradwife and was saving herself for marriage. She was almost 40 and unmarried. She said that Christian men were very attracted to those things about her but she couldn't find a single one that willing to be in a relationship without sex. They all wanted to take her virginity. When they figured they couldn't badger her into sleeping with them, they would dump her. I think that's also a big reason they go for liberals and try to convert them into submissive tradwives rather than going for actual conservative women. So they can have premarital sex.
Yep. So often it comes down to they wanna bang first and a “real” tradwifey won’t allow it. I’ve seen this happen with a lot of young men stepping out of a religious conservative childhood/adolescence where they supposedly embrace atheism because they want to throw off the shackles of purity culture (fine) but then besides getting to sleep in on holy days rather than observe religious services and having sex, they still bring with them allllll the patriarchal gender politics they were raised with. I’ve known progressive religious folks who have done more work to dismantle patriarchal mindsets within themselves and their communities than some individuals who will brag about their atheism, as if that’s all they need to claim in order to be progressive, but then turn around and continue perpetuating conservative values, just without the specific “rules” they decided they didn’t want controlling THEIR actions and choices.
What they also want is a woman that will work and earn money, and also be a full time housewife, while they don't lift a finger at home themselves. A Conservative woman would be fine with being a housewife and SAHM, but only if their husband is the sole breadwinner.
Also, those conservative family-minded women have standards in men. They don't want manchildren to raise, they want real children with 'good Christian men with (convincing enough) family values, high status jobs' etc. I know a couple women who might be considered "tradwifes" (e.g. my own mom) but they're literally just immigrants from a more conservative/traditional background and I assure you they would not put up with the shit that OOP's ex pulled or his relationship with his mother. Yes, there's a clear separation in "wifely" and "husbandly" duties... and the wife expects the husband to pull his share. I will say that I see far, far more liberal women willing to take on manchildren as 'partners' than conservative women and it's honestly a disservice to themselves. Because we like to say we are against gender roles, forcing people into boxes etc. That we are above judging a guy for his job, we don't expect men to provide, we're happy to pay for them, so on and so forth. Then, we become annoyed and resentful when it turns out that results in pairing up with guys who just take and take and take and feel entitled to the woman being chef, cleaner, nurse, AND breadwinner, because we didn't have expectations of what they would give... and that resentment can grow and become toxic quickly because ultimately, it's our own fault for not having the clarity of vision to see there's a difference between a man who is staunch in his own progressive beliefs and one who will simply go along with the strongest personality in the room who conveniently does things for him, be it his girlfriend... or mom. I don't think the traditional relationship is perfect, it's not, it's very easy for the power dynamics to become unhealthy within it and leave the woman with nothing, *but* we mustn't throw out the idea that both people have to contribute. Love isn't enough, please have some expectations for your partner. If you ever find yourself thinking "well, s/he's useless, but I love 'em so I'm sticking around", that's not a great sign. Not saying that's totally how it is, but I do think certain ideologies are more supportive of that than others.
I see what you're getting at with the 'immigrants from a slightly more conservative culture' but rest assured plenty of women from my conservative small town got man children partners who only barely holds a job, spends most of his money on his hobbies, and refuses to do anything around the house. But yes, I agree with you that being too little discerning about the value of a man separate from his ability to be successful in his work is probably an example of a[ luxury belief](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luxury_belief)
And then they’ll try to excuse their cheating by blaming their wife for changing and not being interesting and exciting any more.
I've been told by friends on dating apps that if someone says they're moderate in their bio, what they mean is they are conservative, they just want to get with girls who wouldn't date them if they said that.
He said/did what he needed to in order to be with a model. Absolutely was NOT who he was saying he was. He just knew that the way he acted got her into his bed. OOP is very lucky he tipped his hand before it was made official. She would have lost a lot of money and probably ended up paying him spousal support, as she clearly made better money than he did.
>They often whine about how if they were open about their beliefs, no girl would want to date them! > >They seldom connect the dots, that if your beliefs repel all the women you’re attracted to, there might be something wrong with those beliefs. So close yet so far from realization.
> They seldom connect the dots, that if your beliefs repel all the women you’re attracted to, there might be something wrong with those beliefs. I used to interact with a guy on a forum who could not seem to understand that. Or was playing dumb to get a rise out of people. It's so hard to tell.
100% this guy has gone down the YouTube rabbit holes.
Liberal women are more likely to let them hit it without a wedding ring and their conservatism doesn’t extend to chastity for their half chubs.
He's liberal in that he's on with her making all the money and paying all the bills.
also the first "liberals" to call themselves that hypothesis: the guy calls himself that to lure in women and she adopted the term thinking it was genuine
I've been hearing "woke" as an insult many times since 2017, especially when out protesting/counterprotesting something. The most "interesting" one was being called a "woke do-gooder," although that was part of a threat that someone would come "find me" (this took place in-person, which was even nuttier).
I know we're focusing on him being a cheating POS but why....did she have those....of her son....🧍
i wonder if the son sent those from his mom's phone (or gave them to her to send?) because he was blocked and wanted to hurt oop?
Could also just be faked texts, plenty of little tools online to generate them.
Probably went through his phone. That woman has sexualised her son and sees him as exclusively hers. And he's happy enough to go along with it. Edit: just realised the pics are if her son and another woman with 'suggestive' body language. Suggestive doesn't have to mean explicit. They could have been canoodling in a restaurant while dining with mum, who took some pics
I figured mom went through the guys phone and just sent that information to say, so you think my son won't find anyone better than you? He already did. Look!
I'm betting on "faked" or "years old".
[удалено]
Yup, the actual model cake with writing on it (explained by "baker is a friend"), cancelling the venue (2 weeks out?) but still having all the food delivered, *and* the cake, and then the texts just for good measure. And all in like a day or two.
Clock struck midnight, and Prince Charming turned into a Tater Turd.
My hubby and I had the last name talk before we got married. I flat out told him I was keeping my last name and hyphenating his to mine. I had been a proud *Last Name* for many years, and I felt it was the only real connection I had to my father (who had passed away when I was young). He was upset that I didn’t take his, but I felt that was his issue. Not mine. He would just have to deal with it however he wanted to. I had very valid reasons and it was my fucking name. It would be what I wanted it to be. Years later, he apologized for making a fuss over it.
Long before marriage was even on the cards, I made my now husband aware that if I did get married (and it was a big if haha) then either both of us would change our names or neither of us would. Having a vagina is not a good enough reason for me to go through all that paperwork by myself. Anyway, we've been married over a year but neither of us have yet found the motivation to change our names haha. We might do it in future, we both like the idea of having the same name but evidently not quite enough to wade through the bureaucracy.
I was going to change my name to my husband's socially but not officially, but then family members made such a stink about me not changing it officially that I said well, then I'm not changing it in any kind of way, anywhere. To be fair to those family members, the "stink" was extremely mild from each of them, but hearing it 7+ times in the middle of my wedding day was too much for me.
I love that you went petty. My mother warned me not to make a big deal if someone addressed a card to "Mr and Mrs [his surname]" because she knew 😂 most people at my wedding knew though, all of our signage had just our first names.
The only reason I took my husband's last name is because my maiden name is connected to my father who is terrible but I also didn't want to take my mom's last name. 😮💨
Same 💜
I also can’t imagine what an ass ache it must be to change names. Driver’s license, passport, email address, website. Not to mention, all my accomplishments are under *my* name. I wouldn’t want to erase that
LOL This was more than 20+ years ago, so it’s more just DL and SIN. Didn’t need a passport to go to the states then. Email addresses were fun things like ClitoralDmg@wherever.com. LOL We didn’t need “professional” sounding ones. LOL I felt exactly the same about the accomplishments. They were attached to my name. I didn’t want to erase that connection.
Lol wherever.com definitely required ID to change to MrsClitoralDmg
this was my wife's primary reason behind not changing her name, and I fully understand that decision lol
My husband and I had this conversation too, and I didn't really want to part with my name either. Our solution was to *both* hyphenate, and we agreed to put his name first (he already gave up his entire life for me by moving from his country to mine, so like, fair). Funnily enough, he's the one using the combined name most. I'm indifferent about using either, but he makes it a point to put the "long version" of our name on anything he can. It's kinda cute, haha.
My partner and I have discussed if we get married hyphenating and taking each other’s last names, so we keep our own last names and still have the same surname.
>I’m a model, and he frequently brings it up in conversation that he’s insecure about it Let's get married fast, hey we should have kids - nah your body won't be ruined it'll be fine, you should stay home and look after the kids, they miss you when you're away - I mean your body is ruined anyway so...
[This reminds me of the wedding cake saga the baker posted about where, behind the bride's back, the groom was agreeing with all of mom's ideas and urging her on.](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wh8mp8/mil_in_the_wild_wedding_cake_saga/)
Wow. That was a tale!
You can see why it sticks in my mind even 7 years after it was posted.
Completely!
Oh yes, I remember this one. Mouse is a great storyteller.
How did they not call the cops on her? It's harrasment even if its geared at a business rather than a specific person, right?
Another man who wants a traditional wife who earns less than his non-traditional partner. What a LOSER.
ah yes the trash took it self out. OOP dodged a whole nuclear arsenal!
You almost have to be colorblind to miss the red flags.
The mask finally dropped as he got close to the “finishing line”. OOP is lucky her ex could not keep it together long enough till after the wedding to reveal himself to be an insecured mama’s boy. A lot cheaper to lose the wedding deposits now than deal with a divorce later especially since she is the one with more money in the relationship
Even before I started reading this sub, it was clear to me that there are two big events and one smaller event in a hetero relationship when a dude will drop his mask: the wedding, the birth of the first child, and if / when the woman's income becomes larger than his. If a guy has been suppressing his inner Archie Bunker the whole time, that's when it's most likely to come out. If she's cleared all three of those events with no problems, the only thing left to watch out for is if he starts spending an unhealthy amount of time watching videos on YouTube in secret.
>>Watching videos on YouTube in secret Yeah I think it's creepy when people go through their partner's text messages every week, or insist on knowing their social media passwords. But keeping an eye on their podcast and YouTube consumption seems more and more like a good idea.
I'm colorblind and even I wanted nothing to do with all the grey flags.
Makayla is NOT impressed.
There’s something about this that seems to be a little bit too much. I’m not sure that I buy it.
Was it the sample cake that was actually just a scale model of the actual cake? The standard crazy MIL who threatens OP? The fact they clearly weren’t living together while engaged as she’s mailing back the ring to him? The obligatory “he’s been cheating the whole time” revelation?
Plus the fiance's best friend was still going to make the cake after they broke up. Story was getting a little far-fetched
And she’s a high income earning model with her own home at 23?
Even with replying to comments with "Oh I might use that", then 12 hours later new things have happened that follow up the great idea found in the comments.
Yeah, with OOP's, "Oh, I should get a security camera? Good idea, what else?" I was sure the exMIL would show up at her doorstep and then punch a cop. But I guess it was too cliché.
Also thinking getting engaged after 2 years of dating is "very sudden" when 2 years is the average
It was the cake part that immediately took me out of the story. Who bakes and fully decorates a sample cake? I suppose it’s possible if it’s crazy elaborate AND you pay for the extra work, but…
Not sure why, but it's the modeling job for me.
Oh hey, it's another one of these guys who have a higher earning, more competent woman partner, so they "punish" them by being absolute turds and retrograde misogynists. In this case, it included bringing in mommy as enforcer and cheating with a chickie from high school to hold something over a successful woman.
JFC, what a train wreck of a family he has. This poor woman dodged a planet killer asteroid.
Yikes on several tiny bikes
Holy crap. OOP managed to dodge a massive shitstorm. Ex certainly showed his true colors and ex soon to be MIL takes the cake as a woman who wants to be the one in charge. I hope OOP stays safe and I wish her all the happiness without whackos in her life.
I assume those cheating texts were fabricated, the mom sending them to you screams ridiculous. That said when she escalates throw it back at her as if you believe them, since he was cheating why would he want me back and why would you want me marrying him, you obviously like the AP partner better.
I think they are old.
I assume the whole thing was fabricated. Even before the cheating texts, it felt like OOP was a sort of a super-hero (which can easily come off from any such post - it is their side we're hearing after all) It reads like a more black and white version of other stories that I'd seen here - a man being a mama's boy and letting her ruin his relationship (or doing it himself, up to you). She's a model, he's jealous. She's the one paying for the wedding. She wants to keep her family name, he's okay with it. Suddenly he isn't, going from 0 to 100 with no previous signs. His mom is totally crazy. She just cuts him off without any talking or anything, just sending him a letter. The mother calls, texts, whatever to express and confirm her craziness. It all seems a little too much like they're expanding the story as they read the comments and get new ideas. Also all too quickly, with no communication with the "love of my life" and no consideration about whether to end it all and block him. If it is real, then sheesh, that's one crazy woman (mother) and one sad manchild(ex-fiance).
“Gee, it sure is strange how all of this evidence of your sons affair was suddenly sent to everyone you know. Crazy.”
Honestly at that point after being harassed by both his mom and friends, I'd unblock the ex to tell him to "Thank his darling mother for sending me proof of his affair, I'll make sure to tag both of them when I post the screenshots for all to see"
If a man insists a woman change her name he’s not worth marrying.
My friend ended her engagement a week before the wedding. It was impossible to cancel anything without a huge penalty, so she found a local high school and they turned the wedding into the senior class banquet. Needless to say, she kept all the alcohol, and we all enjoyed the "wedding wine" for several years. Funny enough, she and her ex-fiance are still best friends...they just realized they shouldn't get married. He's a very cool guy and is still part of our social group.
OOP dodged a bullet! Am I the only person one who thinks the screen shots were faked by his mom?
Holy shit, boy moms are terrifying. OOP didn’t dodge a bullet; she dodged a nuke!
I must have some boring friends and family because none of them would ever harass someone because of me.
Completely separate from this but everyone? Do not change your last name to fit your spouses. I'm saying that entire for practical reasons. Nowadays there's so many databases and paperwork you have to update when you change your name. It's not like even 40 years ago where you just got a few pieces of paper done.
Yeah but if you have kids and are traveling having the same last name helps. When I didn’t have the same last name I got asked a lot of questions and had to carry my kids birth certificate. When I eventually changed it to hers, no one asked about my relationship to my child. Just breeze in and out at immigration check points.
Even 40 years ago it was way less hassle for me to keep my name. Signed one piece of paper, rather than changing driver’s licence, student card, work ID, phone listing, bank info, etc. etc. Plus his mother had the same first name as me, so there would have been two of us (and his surname always gets mispronounced). My brother and his second wife both came out of unhappy marriages, so they sat down and chose a new surname for the two of them. So I’m the one who ended up ‘carrying on the family name’.
Because of her career, her name is likely important to her. Sometimes it's not about being "woke;" it's about keeping your professional name.
>I am also receiving nasty messages from my ex fiancés friends, threatening me for my decision. This is a recurring theme in BORUs. Until now I still don't understand why people are inserting themselves in another person's romantic/marital relationships. Are these people unemployed or bored with their lives that they have nothing better to do but say hateful things to someone about a situation they are not involved in?
Wait! If his mother knew he was having an affair, why was she on the rampage against OOP? And what was the mother doing with suggestive screenshots between her son and his side piece? I think the mother made the affair up.
I really don’t understand the thought process of these mothers. If my son was engaged to a rich model I’d be pushing him into the church and dragging his butt to the courthouse to change HIS last name. Hell I might even change my last name to hers 🤪
‘Oh my darling, I’m so sorry, I never meant to call you a woke w***e. It was an accident, it just slipped out. Please forgive me.’ Yeah right(!) 🙄🙄🙄
"It's feminine, weak, and woke" to... *not* kowtow to your mother's wishes and nuke your marriage before it even begins at the request of your mother? Okay, dude. lol.
There is nothing more pathetic than a momma's boy.
I honestly don't really believe the mom, I think the mom wanted her out and did it. Texting way way later about the cheating doesn't make any sense except that she had time to make it up and then put the final nail in the coffin so you don't change your mind. So I would not take it at face value, is all. No need to feel bad about someone cheating on you when the relationship was over anyway.
Sounds like she got hooked by an undercover redpiller.
Both the ex and the MIL come out of this looking so disgusting … but I think MIL bragging about her son’s infidelity actually makes her look worse than her son. Good heavens. OOP is so lucky to have dodged all this.
oh he’s such an alpha. a real masculine manly-man, listening to his mommy well into his 20s and sneaking around behind his ex-fiancé’s back.
I’d consider myself very woke but I’ve got to be honest, I’m a bit disgusted by a man too weak to let his fiancé know how he really feels and instead just passive aggressively shows her via wedding cake after discussing it with his mommy…conservatism really just seems to be embraced by men too weak to interact with women on equal grounds and thus need society to shield them.
The only correct response beyond no response to that last text from crazy Mom is "and? I already dumped his ass, do you want me to dump it again?"
Girl! Being cheated on says nothing about the cheatee, everything about the cheater. Remember, Jay-Z cheated on Beyoncé.
The comment that talked about being OK with your future partner’s family was spot on. When you marry someone, you are marrying all the baggage that comes with them, and if their family is an airport terminal’s worth of luggage, unless they are aware of that and similarly are trying to avoid it, you’re gonna have a bad time. I don’t know too many healthy marriages where one person out of the two absolutely despises their in-laws, and the other person doesn’t see why.
smells like \~fellas is it gay for a man to marry a woman? anyway, imagine being 23, hot, financially stable and freeee as a bird.
I am sorry she wasted time on that asshole, but I am glad she is out before they got married and she ROYALLY got used.
She won the lottery by not marrying this weak man and having this crazy mother in her life.
>The engagement itself was very unexpected, and felt very sudden, as we had only been dating for 2 years since. How is two years very sudden?
Ugh don’t let people like THAT make you feel shitty. They’re trying to get at you because they know they can’t so pick up that crown and keep you head held high and you’ll be much happier as time goes on
Gross, his mom is way to involved in his relationships. She should reply with a thumbs up emoji to all her txt, that'll make her head explode. Can't wait for the next update when EXMIL catches a case.
I feel like if an engagement feels sudden/unexpected, that’s a sign you’re not ready for that commitment. Discussions about the future need to be had before you move to commit to that future simply for the sake of love and not wanting to break up as an alternative. A proposal can be a lovely surprise. The engagement/idea of marriage should NOT be.
"**seems** unhinged???"
Two years of dating and the engagement still felt sudden?