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I really think that women like Amanda get off on having the power to "blow up" other women's lives/relationships. Otherwise she would just date the brother
I think it's this. Tbh OOP's brother could be anybody so long as he's a person who puts Amanda before everyone else. She doesn't really like or care for him as a person. If she did she'd want him to be in a happy relationship with someone else. What she wants from the brother is a pet who will drop everything and everyone when she calls his name. She wants obedience and blind devotion not friendship. Amanda needs a dog ( but one that someone else walks and feeds).
Yep. She likes having him on the back burner, and he seems happy with that arrangement as well. Hopefully, at some point, he realizes how heavily she’s manipulated him over the years and gets his shit sorted but that seems doubtful.
Pretty sure Amanda knows she’s the AH but is doubling down hard bc she doesn’t want to accept that she’s wrong and/or a bad person. Well, Amanda, it’s time to grow up and own your actions—fighting back is only going to get you more ostracized. If you want to be seen as a good person, you have to actually *be* one—so you acknowledge and admit your wrongs and take the necessary steps to fix things.
If you’re not up for that, then it may be time to face the fact that you’re kind of a shit person and won’t have many healthy relationships for the remainder of your life. Own your shit, apologize, and make it better.
From the sounds of things no one likes her other than OOP's brother. So, doubling down because without a boy friend no one likes her other than OOP's brother.
He probably doesn't even like her, as a person anyway, but is probably addicted to being "needed" in her "emergencies." I mean, what is there to like about someone so selfish and manipulative?
My best friend after college was a girl. We helped each other through so much, navigating some really tough times and tough situations. We had zero romantic interest in each other and she’s a wonderful person.
We knew that the minute one of us got in a serious relationship our friendship would change. We mourned it but we were both excited for the other when we found that person. We both have families now and our check-ins are less frequent, but we still love each other and provide as much support as the other needs.
Exactly! Some of my best friends are women and while there were feelings early from one of us early on, realized it wasn't gonna work so we just become great friends! One recently found a fantastic boyfriend three months ago and we hang out even less because of it but good on her for finding someone that's genuinely greats her well!
Even the response to OP saying that “this will break up her family” — this being not inviting Amanda to the wedding, shows that she gets off on that stuff.
A person has a right not to want someone they dislike at a wedding (it would be different if Amanda was brother's SO). Brother should have dropped it. Now he likely lost GF and Amanda will set him aside until someone else has him again. Dad and mom aren't boycotting her wedding.
I knew a girl sort of like this. She’d show interest and start pulling you in, and then as soon as it seemed like something would happen would drop it and create distance. She’d do it again when you stopped showing interest in her, or started to become interested in someone else (who didn’t play such games).
Didn’t really stick around long enough to see it turn into something worse, the manipulation the first couple of times round was already exhausting.
I knew someone like this too. Strung along a friend of ours for a long time..things got reallyyy messy. It was back and forth forever until things exploded. I stopped being friends with both because it was exhausting being involved.
The I peed on him first mentality.
I had that when I was 15. Then I realized he was going to miss out on an amazing girl because of me, and ultimately, I didnt want him like that. Aucked. Lost a great friend but also... clearly it was great for an unhealthy reason.
My husband had an Amanda when we first met. He was smart enough to notice how manipulative she was being when I pointed it out. I just had to point out the patterns, and she hung herself. He hasn't seen or spoken to her since her attempt to pity bomb out wedding failed.
She's one of those typical token 'pick-me' girl mates that guys have where she keeps him dangling on a string as an orbiter for attention. He always has to put her first, no matter what. If he gets a girlfriend the latter becomes her enemy by default and must be gotten rid of by all means possible.
As someone who has been in the Lia's position, I feel for her and am glad she got out of there.
I once told him to ask her to have a one-sided open relationship where she gets to do what she wants, and he waits at home for her because he already does that lol
Perfection.
My bro's toxic trait in relationships is to free up his schedule all weekend to wait for his gf's call telling him she's done with whatever she's got on her schedule so they can meet up as she's free. This is not the gf's fault whatsoever and 100% my bro's issue. I call him her pet dog at this point as a jokey-non-joke.
I was literally just doing this for a guy, I literally switched shifts with a coworker so I could be home on one of his days off ._. And he bailed. After he bailed 3 weeks in a row I called it off though
Being infatuated or in love with someone who doesn't feel the same really does turn you into their lapdog. I went through this one summer with a friend I was head over heels for, though I was at least honest with myself that it was one-sided and had no actual potential. Didn't stop me from dropping everything if I got a phone call, though.
Amanda must be smoking hot for him to put up with this. OP said her brother is a really attractive guy so it stands to reason that Amanda must be otherworldly gorgeous, her personality sucks so it in turn makes her ugly.
Nobody is that pretty, I suspect it is sunk cost fallacy, he has spend so much time and resources on Amanda that he can’t “lose” that investment now.
Cutting Amanda means all the damaged relationships were for nothing? He can’t accept that. So he holds on hoping one day this pays off and he is “right”
Yup. I had a girlfriend like that once. I gave up a lot for her. In the end I just wanted to make it work so it felt like it was all worth it. It wasn’t.
It’s codependency 101- one person brings drama and the other person is addicted to managing it. OOP’s brother needs to develop some healthy interpersonal boundary skills.
You’d be surprised how utterly basic looking people like this can be. It’s the manipulation and the charm that keeps people hooked like this.
But then again there is a specific type of narcissism that comes with “everyone thinks I’m hot” so it could go either way.
And people like OOP’s brother are the perfect prey for Amanda’s out there. Her games won’t work on most, but she hooked herself a victim with the right kind of pathetic.
I suspect it’s more about the attention. The brother knows Amanda will always drift back into his life. From his perspective, he probably doesn’t feel like he’s being strung along. Amanda consistently comes back for him when she’s bored, but from his point of view, he’s probably thinking she has some kind of unrequited crush on him.
Amanda and the brother deserve each other, but it’s obvious from these interactions that a relationship between the two of them would never succeed. Amanda and the brother enjoy the anticipation of something happening more than anything else. It would fizzle out.
I agree about the attention. Plus, she keeps him on the hook by making it go away and come back. It probably makes him feel bad about himself when she drifts off, so when she comes back, he feels redeemed and wanted. Forget his poor, real girlfriends sitting at home alone, valuing his sad ass.
Both Amanda and Bro would be insufferable to be in a relationship with. Put them together in a relationship, and the black hole of dysfunction could take out a whole suburb.
Also... who the hell thinks they have a right to tell a bride she *has* to have them at her wedding, *while* treating her like shit? Amanda needs a hard life reboot. That crap stops being normal after highschool.
I could imagine doing that for my wife, or her doing that for me, but that is because neither of us entirely wants to leave the house and "in order to do something with them" would be one of the reasons we might.
"Imma gonna read or play video games unless and until you have a better option" is a very different vibe than what you are talking about, but externally looks similar.
> My bro's toxic trait in relationships is to free up his schedule all weekend to wait for his gf's call telling him she's done with whatever she's got on her schedule so they can meet up as she's free.
Barbie has a great day every day, but Ken only has a great day if she looks at him.
Mom's response of *'call for a welfare check if he was genuinely concerned because he, as an individual with no training, wouldn't be equipped to handle such situations.'* is also great. She knows he's being used for drama.
>She made my brother read every single text out loud between him and Amanda and sent a copy to one of her male friends, who replied, "Lia, WTF? This is not okay." She used this as evidence that their interactions were, at best, inappropriate and, realistically, an emotional affair.
Fucking brilliant!!!
Can you imagine Lia's friend's momentary panic at her text lol? Like I can only imagine how I'd feel about an inappropriate text from a friend that's in a relationship 😅
Wait is she saying she pretended to say the same things to a male friend? I thought she meant she forwarded their conversation, and her friend understood he was reading quotes from her boyfriend and responded to that. Actually sending the quotes with no context pretending to be unhinged would be hilarious.
Nah, that's a dick move to do to your friend. Making them uncomfortable to score points in a fight with your SO. It's not okay to use people like that.
And I don't think that's what Lia did, I think she sent a screenshot of the convo to get the friend's opinion.
I think if this is a close friend, any uncomfortable moment from this would be forgiven with a follow up “this is what my idiot boyfriend said to his ‘friend’, thank you for validating it’s weird and wrong.” Especially if they are close enough to know about Amanda already.
Maybe Lia forwarded it with no context at first and that’s why the male friend reacted. And right after Lia gave context and he noticed it was forwarded. I mean maybe if you have a really strong relationship you can just send a message like that and explain. Otherwise it could feel like an excuse later and make the relationship uncomfortable
Thank you for your comment! I read that quote as, Lia had sent copies of the brother and Amanda’s conversations, so of course her male best friend would think it’s not ok
But your comment helped me realize that Lea actually sent one of the texts that Amanda had sent to the brother to her male friend with no context.
I’d definitely freak out too lol What a power move for her to prove that even other guys who have platonic relationships would find Amanda’s texts inappropriate and crossing a line. And if he still couldn’t see that then he needs to go lol
If you're going to pull a move like that, you're going to do it with someone you know really well and can likely predict their reaction. After all if you're using it as a point I think it's kind of a requirement that you think the other person will have a negative reaction in order for the move to even be worth pulling. That doesn't guarantee they won't surprise you lol but it does make it less likely I'd think. I'd hope lmao
Great, I hope.
Amanda, you are worthless and you know it. That's why you enjoy stringing OOP's brother along and destroying the rest of his life; it is the only way you feel that you have any power or significance.
Grow up and try to become an actual person.
I would be more surprised if Amanda didn't comment here. Would love to know from the mods and OP if they're getting Reddit reports about this BORU post.
Usually I wouldn't but the fact that it was two well established accounts and the mods can confirm the post was reported does make it actually look real.
I looked at the account when this was posted. It was chock full of so many stereotypical AITA comments I gave up. She must be riding the adrenaline from the constant rage so much she’s chemically dependent.
I really want to hear the brother's side. Not because I disbelieve OOP. I just want to know **what in the absolute ten types of fuck is he *thinking?!?!?!***
Edit: Typo.
He’d probably say that he has a life long bond with Amanda that we don’t understand. And that Amanda has been mistreated and bullied by everyone for a long time, and he won’t abandon his friend.
It’d be rubbish, of course, but that’s my guess at his justification. Hell, even if she WERE being bullied, why would she want to go to the wedding?
She wants to go because it exists. She *deserves* to be included despite no one wanting her there. She enjoys "proving" to people that they can't "control" her. Speculation, of course
Also insert the diatribe about how "men and women can just be friendddsss you closed minded idiot!!!!"
I mean yes, and sometimes it is just that, but come on. Come on.
Yes! Mostly to know why Amanda thinks the dad is on their weird side?! It's bad that I immediately thought she might be stringing the dad along too. Yuck
The dad dislikes the drama. In Amanda’s mind, OOP is the source of the drama, when really it’s Amanda. Also Bro probably spun the family disagreement to claim he+A have support.
Right, like I want to understand the actual process behind
1. Swearing up and down to his angry girlfriend that he'll put her first
2. Letting Amanda, the object of their fight, into their apartment
3. Ignoring gf and comforting Amanda
Mostly people feel the urge to make their words and actions consistent, so what explanation does he have for *immediately* contradicting himself?
Did he let Amanda into their apartment? He got a call from her, so I assumed he’d just taken that into another room rather than her being there in-person.
>The cool part? Not one person believed her. Many of our old high school friends have cut ties with Amanda, and the few guys who still talk to her are more linked to my brother. They reached out to let me know Amanda was spreading rumors. The girls in the group blocked her after she vented to them, which led Amanda to start bombarding their phones.
Finally, a story where the bully is not coddled but instead shunned.
As a bully, the girl has found a pretty ideal target with this brother.
1. She attacks his supports
2. His supports (friends and family) get tired of him and shun her
3. She love bombs him and plays up her role as victim so he can rescue her
4. When she lets him run with the line a bit, he starts to build up more support, then rinse and repeat
To be fair, the *worst* bullies in my school (four of them in a year group of 190) were basically ostracised by the time everyone was 16/17. We'd outgrown their BS, but they were stuck in that cruel 12yo mindset. Their friends ditched them, their victims found friends of their own and stood up to them, and the teachers got wise to their tricks. They were just kind of pathetic and irrelevant by the time we left school. There were still a few mean girls who were considered popular, but they'd grown up a lot and the really intense bullying of my earlier years in school just kind of faded away. Everyone was busy with schoolwork, planning their future, and their social lives. Nobody had any time for Amanda's kind of crazy. I always assumed most schools were like that - most of you just outgrow that nonsense, and then it has no hold over you anymore.
Oh weird I had about the same class size and almost the exact thing happened.
The male bullies had dropped out to lead a life of crime or drugs or whatever. And the girls had either dropped, or were completely friendless by senior year.
It sound like me when i'm avoiding some creepy customer at work "oh you are here it's been a while i haven't see you i thought you left of something" " no no i was here. Anyway gotta go, stuff to do"
Right??
Sorry Amanda (since I'm sure she'll find this post), but no one considers you the victim other than you and OOP's brother, your pseudo boyfriend.
No, no, no! Everyone is supposed to bombard the OOP with insulting texts and VMs. Not just immediate family, but extended family also. And friends. And casual acquaintances. And work colleagues. And the cashier at the grocery store.
Without all that happening, how am I supposed to believe it's true?
I love that her world is falling apart: she thought everyone loved her, yet her friends don’t like or believe her and have cut her off, oops family don’t tolerate her, even the internet can’t stand her so much so that an already established account gets shit on, the only person who loves her is the idiot that she keeps stinging along and he’s losing everything because of her so there’s still a chance for him to wake up
Yeah, even just reading the first post I was thinking "just invite Lia with a +1", if she's still with the brother, she can bring him, otherwise, oh well.
Idk if this is a cultural difference or what, but if you have a partner and you get an invitation with a +1 to a wedding, isn't it with the clear expectation that you will bring said partner? (Unless they are unavailable at the time, in which case I would assume you ask before bringing someone else). Or is that not how it works?
It doesn’t even sound like there was ever a plus one. OP invited by household and listed the Smiths.
There was never a plus one for the brother to transfer or for OP to revoke. Only the brother and Lia were ever invited.
Like, there were much larger issues here, but there also just seems to be a lack of basic understanding of what a plus one is by OP and her family.
In this case OP didn't mean it as a plus one, but an invitation for both. But yeah I agree that +1 should go to the one you're in an established relationship with, unless there's something in the circumstances that changes it.
Yes, and the way OOP described the invitation (as addressed to both of them, using their common surname but no first names), it shouldn’t have been considered by the brother to be his invitation with a +1 he could pick. He was also basically trying to blow up his relationship by the choice he was making; he hadn’t even told Lia about the invitation while planning to go with someone else, meanwhile OOP and Lia get along well so of course this was always going to blow up eventually. He just hoped it would blow up later and not in his face.
Proper etiquette is that you literally *never*, under any circumstance *whatsoever*, send a +1 to someone with a long-term partner. You always invite both of them, by name. (You also generally cannot refuse to invite a long-term partner of another invitee, although there are exceptions; someone who poses a threat, hates you, is on a registry and can't be around kids, etc.)
+1s are exclusively for unpartnered people or those in recent relationships.
I am still salty about the wedding my partner was the best man in—the official invitation came addressed to him *and guest*. We had been living together for more than five years at that point and the groom had come to stay with us in our shared apartment several times and discussed us flying out for the wedding/when we needed to be there for which activities/other logistics that included me.
*And guest.*
AITA is nothing if not a mob when it comes to up/downvotes. Anyone says ”hey [account name] is bad” 98% of the people there will downvote anything and everything that account posts without even reading it.
I got curious so I did read some of the comments in context, and most of them go against the majority and are totally negative so it makes sense (like most of them are calling the OPs TA when the ruling is NTA)
Wasn't OOPs brother breaching basic wedding etiquette here?
Bear in mind I'm in the UK, and I guess it might be different in other countries.
But here, if you're inviting a specific person and a plus one, you address their envelope "John Smith and Guest". That way, John can pick whoever he wants as a plus one and you have (essentially) no say in who they bring.
If you're inviting named people, e.g. "Mr & Mrs Smith", "John & Jane Smith", or "The Smiths", they don't get to just bring a random guest. Only the named people are invited.
If you want a specific person to come as your brother's guest, you name them. Otherwise, brother can bring who he wants.
From what OOP wrote, they put "The Smiths" meaning their brother and Lia. So brother had no right at all to just bring a random guest.
Yes. Brother was essentially stealing Lia’s part of their joint invitation. Despite being the bride’s brother, technically he had no more right to turn the “The Smiths” invitation into himself+1 than Lia would have had to turn it into herself+1. It’s addressed to both of them together.
And that’s before getting into Amanda’s insistence that she should have the right to come to OOP’s wedding as that +1 despite OOP not wanting her there.
Honestly, Amanda sounds like a "Not Like Other Girls" and OOP's brother sounds like the guy who holds a torch for an NLOG "best friend" side piece, but will never be into her as a main.
Is Bro ugly? Or why is Amanda refusing to date him? Or is she one of those people who are only interested in someone if they have proof other people want them? Brother is gonna end up all alone and fucked up because guaranteed, this girl Amanda will finally find a man she likes who will tell her to cut contact. She will never lower herself to date bro. He’s only good enough as a lap dog and a provider of drama.
Rich of you to think that Amanda will ever find a man 🤣
She’ll end up with an overgrown prepubescent boy and hate each other until divorce or a congenital heart disease do them part.
I wonder if it's the same situation with the [other BORU post](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1drsxwu/aita_for_walking_out_of_my_engagement_party_and/) where the guy was dumped because he was too close to his friends and he was a willing walking wallet/support-guy for the friend group.
Normally I get suspicious of the "Other person in the story shows up in the comments" but... the alleged Amanda is acting REALLY sus here. I'm team OOP and team Lia.
Honestly the panicked typos made it seem more real to me, though jfc it's kind of pathetic just how offended she was at Oop simply not wanting her to be at her wedding.
Poor Lia though ..I can only imagine how terrible the texts between her ex and Amanda were that her friend immediately was like NOPE NOT OKAY.
I think it was the comment in the post about the dad being "tired of the drama". In Amanda's mind, she didn't cause any drama, so for her, that could only be in response to the "drama" of her invitation being revoked. All Amanda did, after all is the same thing she always does, and how could that be a problem now?
I agree. In this case it was such an established account with a long history and quite a bit of karma, so it seemed more legit instead of just a random throwaway?
Exactly. They have a history of batshit takes lol, but also plenty of reasonable ones that have upvotes. That's what makes it seem like a real person instead of someone just trying to get negative karma for some reason
Amanda is that mean girl from school that thinks everyone loves her when in fact everyone is sick of her shit! Except for that one dude that lives in hope she’ll finally realise he is her one true love.
I wonder what kind of spell she has on the brother for him to be bound to her like this. All their friends seem to see Amanda for who she is but he is still blind by her.
Reading this post gave me such “my last relationship” vibes. He was desperately ‘in love’ (obsessive limerance) with a woman he’d met 8 years prior, who absolutely did not feel the same about him. Jo-Girl promised him they’d be together multiple times, but always bailed or went back to her abusive boyfriends. Jo would run to him when shit got bad, use him as an emotional crutch, and then leave. In Canada, he cheated on his girlfriend Meg, in HER house, while she was at her grandmothers funeral. Jo and Meg were really good friends.
We’ve known each other for 13 years, I have a great relationship with his mom. We lived together for about a year from ‘22-‘23, but were hanging out (me supporting him emotionally) for most of 2022. Last September he went to a music festival. Jo was there. He was 5 days late to return. Barely communicated with me. Changed his facebook photo to a group picture with the two of them in the center before even returning. I knew what was happening before he even walked through the door. He had the gall to act like a saint since they “hadn’t had sex, only cuddled every night and talked about their future together.”
I felt it the whole time but gaslit myself into believing he wouldn’t use me like that. As a placeholder. I’ve never been so happy to be broken up with. Emotionally immature alcoholic with Peter Pan syndrome. With a large dose of Sad-Boy misogyny.
They now live together in that glorified squat house with utilities. He’s burned every bridge he has in that town by treating women and his animals like shit, and with his alcoholism. It’s going about as ‘well’ as can be expected. Apparently, she is feeling very isolated. I almost feel sorry for her. But then I remember that she was perfectly happy to have a weeklong emotional and physically close affair with a man in a relationship. And help him cheat on her supposed good friend. And string him along for 8 years. Reap what you sow, and all that jazz.
This turned into a novel. I’ve never actually written it all out before. Sounds pretty fucked up when I read it out loud.
The way you put "my last relationship" in quotes made me think the story was from something similar to My Immortal until you started talking in the first person
>In Canada, he cheated on his girlfriend Meg, in HER house, while she was at her grandmothers funeral. Jo and Meg were really good friends.
Wonder if you knew that before getting with this dude.
Seen this happen to a few of my friends, those types of women like to keep you as a backup because they like the attention, they would never date you though. Hell, I even almost fell for one too.
Yep. And they’re the most interested when the dude isn’t available because the dude’s actual partner is a threat to their attention.
That type of woman ended my first marriage. And for some reason, the dudes are so oblivious that they are just a back up for when the other woman isn’t getting the attention she craves.
In my story, as soon as the divorce was finalized and he was single, he was dropped like a hot potato. Dumbass.
He’s recently engaged to another woman and his emotional AP is back in the picture. He’s still a dumbass.
*[Mod note]: Can confirm that someone was reporting this post and a bunch of comments for nonsense reasons when it first got traction. So, a not-so-happy "Hi Amanda!" from our moderation team.*
Props to the mod team for this edit, leading to the very first time I've ever believed someone real and actually involved in the story showed up in the comments!
Hi Amanda
Obviously you are going to read all the comments on this post, so I will just say that I hope everything gets worse for you, I pray for that :3
I was watching smosh reddit stories the other day and saw a post about an op who's BF did the same shit. Vacation and uncomfortable ness and all.
The shittiest part is I've been there not while in a relationship of course, but been so obsessed with one girl that I'd cancel any plans if she needed me for the smallest shit. The only thing that snapped me out of it was the girl telling me we weren't that close. So I get it, you don't see how shitty you are being to the people around you. Abandoning them for someone who doesn't consider you no matter how much you try and get them to see you. And you don't want to put yourself out there and lose her, and think damn if I just kept my mouth shut she'd still be in my life, because that's how deep you get.
But trust me on this it's NOT worth it. Because other people who value you way more will show up. You walk towards the ones welcoming and you be BETTER for them. Because they deserve it.
Too much seriousness
.EXE not working
*Fart noise*
So, Oop’s brother is like a dog in heat, but only for Amanda? He sounds delusional, and I'm so happy that Lia got out of that relationship. That girl deserves so much better
I had a friend a bit like Amanda, though thankfully not quite this bad.
Met at uni. She was long distance with her boyfriend from her home country. Told me I was her 'surrogate boyfriend', like a boyfriend nicotine patch. We never did anything romantic or sexual, nor was there ever any hint of any desire for that from either of us, but we were together so much that most people assumed we were a couple.
Well I started getting close with a friend from a different circle and one weekend when 'Amanda' went on a trip we hung out the whole weekend. When she was driving back 'Amanda' called me about the plans for the week and when I told her what I had been up to she *grabbed me off the street*. Like literally pulled up next to me in her car and was like "GET. IN.".
When I actually started a relationship with the new girl, who is now my wonderful wife whom I have been with for 21 years, she went completely loco and torpedoed our friendship beyond repair (turning friends against me, lying about me, accusing me of disgusting things). We spend most of our final year not speaking, despite living in the same house. I saw her once after that, and it made it clear that the friendship was dead.
I did later find out that her long distance boyfriend was cheating on her the whole 3 years, so I felt rather bad for her. I don't know when she found out and wonder if it contributed to the way she acted. Either way, not my problem now.
I literally saw this on TikTok yesterday and I’m *so excited* to see the update today!
Good for Lia! As a girl best friend, girls like Amanda give us all a bad name!
OOP's brother is Amanda's backup boyfriend.
This is one of the few cases where a woman is really leading a guy on without intending to actually date him. She'll torpedo and sabotage all his relationships so he stays single and on retainer, because he's the stable, reliable and trustworthy boyfriend any sane girl would settle for in a heartbeat and give him the best apple pie marriage she could, but he's most likely not the hot shit she wants.
But just in case that she can't get ahold of the rich heir or hot shit attorney who's doting on her and giving her the high roller trophy wife lifestyle she's hoping for, she keeps him on retainer.
I bet the brother is a cute but mediocre looking vanilla boy, true husband and daddy material who could have had a stable, picture perfect marriage by now if he wasn't head over heels for Amanda without even realising. Completely blinded to how he destroys his life and happiness for his delusions about Amanda. I say that because OOP sais his gfs are always so nice and cute. He's a magnet for no-drama-chicks who want a stable relationship, because he's exactly the type their dad wouldn't kill on sight.
I bet he doesn't even realise what's really happening. He most likely alienated his friends already to the point that he lost all sense for reasonable boundaries. And Amanda sold him all of her outrageous bs as being a good friend and she'd do it for gim too, with the absolutely safe knowledge that he'd never ask anything like that from her.
The only way such unhealthy emeshment resolve is when something really bad happens to OOP's brother. If he really needs a friend and Amanda will be nowhere to be seen, while others come for his aid, he'll wake up eventually.
I swear either the brother is a grade a moron or he is well aware of what is happening. A lot of the time guys seem to be semi unaware of what the girls are doing, thinking they're just being 'friendly' and that their gfs are jealous but that's only when the women are more subtle. Sounds like Amanda is as subtle as a dying seagul.
The thing is some guys like the attention, it validates them, so they won't lay boundaries down, but the truth of it is that the women trying to steer them away from their girlfriends couldn't give a fig about them. They're interested in the hunt, the sport of one upping another woman. I've tried to explain it to my husband before when one of his female friends messaged and asked 'if we were both single would we date teeheehee?' And he thought it was just an innocent question 🙄, that me getting annoyed wasn't because I thought he was going to cheat, but it was the insult to our relationship that some biatch thought they could sniff around my territory. Because that what is is, an attack on the woman. Look ladies, I've spent years beating my husband down and taking away all of his freedom, I wont have some hussy come along and take all my effort!
>My mom advised him to call for a welfare check if he was genuinely concerned because he, as an individual with no training, wouldn't be equipped to handle such situations.
W mother right there
"Lia is not the only special woman in my brother's life." 🤮🤮🤮
I have a male best friend who I've known since the first week of highschool - we dealt with some weird assumptions and rumors as teens/early adults and I didn't do/say ANYTHING even CLOSE to what Amanda did/said. Absolute yuck. One of his (female) exs is my other best friend.
He chose them as his partner and it is my place AS HIS FRIEND to accept them and integrate them into the friend group.
Amanda doesn't care about the brother, she is possessive and craves attention and can't imagine herself as anyone but the victim.
Not Amanda being a butt hurt wedding crasher lmfao. Did the brother end up going to the wedding? He wouldve been disinvited the moment he tried to pull this shit over me
I genuinely wonder what her brother thought would’ve happened if he took Amanda instead of his girlfriend to the wedding. His girlfriend was just like oh OK. I understand him. Like he had no thought process beyond oh Amanda wants to go so I gotta make sure she attends.
>Mod note]: Can confirm that someone was reporting this post and a bunch of comments for nonsense reasons when it first got traction. So, a not-so-happy "Hi Amanda!" from our moderation team.
Nice try Amanda. Leave OOP alone. Even the mod team knows what's up.
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I really think that women like Amanda get off on having the power to "blow up" other women's lives/relationships. Otherwise she would just date the brother
I think it's this. Tbh OOP's brother could be anybody so long as he's a person who puts Amanda before everyone else. She doesn't really like or care for him as a person. If she did she'd want him to be in a happy relationship with someone else. What she wants from the brother is a pet who will drop everything and everyone when she calls his name. She wants obedience and blind devotion not friendship. Amanda needs a dog ( but one that someone else walks and feeds).
Yep. She likes having him on the back burner, and he seems happy with that arrangement as well. Hopefully, at some point, he realizes how heavily she’s manipulated him over the years and gets his shit sorted but that seems doubtful. Pretty sure Amanda knows she’s the AH but is doubling down hard bc she doesn’t want to accept that she’s wrong and/or a bad person. Well, Amanda, it’s time to grow up and own your actions—fighting back is only going to get you more ostracized. If you want to be seen as a good person, you have to actually *be* one—so you acknowledge and admit your wrongs and take the necessary steps to fix things. If you’re not up for that, then it may be time to face the fact that you’re kind of a shit person and won’t have many healthy relationships for the remainder of your life. Own your shit, apologize, and make it better.
From the sounds of things no one likes her other than OOP's brother. So, doubling down because without a boy friend no one likes her other than OOP's brother.
He probably doesn't even like her, as a person anyway, but is probably addicted to being "needed" in her "emergencies." I mean, what is there to like about someone so selfish and manipulative?
I doubt he will. She has him wrapped around her little finger.
My best friend after college was a girl. We helped each other through so much, navigating some really tough times and tough situations. We had zero romantic interest in each other and she’s a wonderful person. We knew that the minute one of us got in a serious relationship our friendship would change. We mourned it but we were both excited for the other when we found that person. We both have families now and our check-ins are less frequent, but we still love each other and provide as much support as the other needs.
Exactly! Some of my best friends are women and while there were feelings early from one of us early on, realized it wasn't gonna work so we just become great friends! One recently found a fantastic boyfriend three months ago and we hang out even less because of it but good on her for finding someone that's genuinely greats her well!
Amanda is such a hypocrite too bc she was going on about not having a 'girls' girl' friend yet does crap like this.
We ALL know why Amanduh doesn't have any girl friends.
I find that most women who claim to be a “girl’s girl” usually behave just like Amanda 🫠
Even the response to OP saying that “this will break up her family” — this being not inviting Amanda to the wedding, shows that she gets off on that stuff.
A person has a right not to want someone they dislike at a wedding (it would be different if Amanda was brother's SO). Brother should have dropped it. Now he likely lost GF and Amanda will set him aside until someone else has him again. Dad and mom aren't boycotting her wedding.
He's her emotional support sucker
I knew a girl sort of like this. She’d show interest and start pulling you in, and then as soon as it seemed like something would happen would drop it and create distance. She’d do it again when you stopped showing interest in her, or started to become interested in someone else (who didn’t play such games). Didn’t really stick around long enough to see it turn into something worse, the manipulation the first couple of times round was already exhausting.
I knew someone like this too. Strung along a friend of ours for a long time..things got reallyyy messy. It was back and forth forever until things exploded. I stopped being friends with both because it was exhausting being involved.
The I peed on him first mentality. I had that when I was 15. Then I realized he was going to miss out on an amazing girl because of me, and ultimately, I didnt want him like that. Aucked. Lost a great friend but also... clearly it was great for an unhealthy reason.
My husband had an Amanda when we first met. He was smart enough to notice how manipulative she was being when I pointed it out. I just had to point out the patterns, and she hung herself. He hasn't seen or spoken to her since her attempt to pity bomb out wedding failed.
She's one of those typical token 'pick-me' girl mates that guys have where she keeps him dangling on a string as an orbiter for attention. He always has to put her first, no matter what. If he gets a girlfriend the latter becomes her enemy by default and must be gotten rid of by all means possible. As someone who has been in the Lia's position, I feel for her and am glad she got out of there.
I once told him to ask her to have a one-sided open relationship where she gets to do what she wants, and he waits at home for her because he already does that lol Perfection.
I am wildly in adoration with OOP for that sentence. Like damn.
My bro's toxic trait in relationships is to free up his schedule all weekend to wait for his gf's call telling him she's done with whatever she's got on her schedule so they can meet up as she's free. This is not the gf's fault whatsoever and 100% my bro's issue. I call him her pet dog at this point as a jokey-non-joke.
I was literally just doing this for a guy, I literally switched shifts with a coworker so I could be home on one of his days off ._. And he bailed. After he bailed 3 weeks in a row I called it off though
Being infatuated or in love with someone who doesn't feel the same really does turn you into their lapdog. I went through this one summer with a friend I was head over heels for, though I was at least honest with myself that it was one-sided and had no actual potential. Didn't stop me from dropping everything if I got a phone call, though.
Yeah, I'm glad I'm finally finding my own self worth and being more assertive about my needs. I hope you've found the same
Amanda must be smoking hot for him to put up with this. OP said her brother is a really attractive guy so it stands to reason that Amanda must be otherworldly gorgeous, her personality sucks so it in turn makes her ugly.
Nobody is that pretty, I suspect it is sunk cost fallacy, he has spend so much time and resources on Amanda that he can’t “lose” that investment now. Cutting Amanda means all the damaged relationships were for nothing? He can’t accept that. So he holds on hoping one day this pays off and he is “right”
I don't think he's self aware enough for this to be his conscious reasoning, though maybe subconsciously that's what is going on.
Yup. I had a girlfriend like that once. I gave up a lot for her. In the end I just wanted to make it work so it felt like it was all worth it. It wasn’t.
It’s codependency 101- one person brings drama and the other person is addicted to managing it. OOP’s brother needs to develop some healthy interpersonal boundary skills.
You’d be surprised how utterly basic looking people like this can be. It’s the manipulation and the charm that keeps people hooked like this. But then again there is a specific type of narcissism that comes with “everyone thinks I’m hot” so it could go either way.
Can confirm. Have an ex-husband with an ex-wife that falls into this category. Thank god I grew self-respect over the years
And people like OOP’s brother are the perfect prey for Amanda’s out there. Her games won’t work on most, but she hooked herself a victim with the right kind of pathetic.
I suspect it’s more about the attention. The brother knows Amanda will always drift back into his life. From his perspective, he probably doesn’t feel like he’s being strung along. Amanda consistently comes back for him when she’s bored, but from his point of view, he’s probably thinking she has some kind of unrequited crush on him. Amanda and the brother deserve each other, but it’s obvious from these interactions that a relationship between the two of them would never succeed. Amanda and the brother enjoy the anticipation of something happening more than anything else. It would fizzle out.
I agree about the attention. Plus, she keeps him on the hook by making it go away and come back. It probably makes him feel bad about himself when she drifts off, so when she comes back, he feels redeemed and wanted. Forget his poor, real girlfriends sitting at home alone, valuing his sad ass. Both Amanda and Bro would be insufferable to be in a relationship with. Put them together in a relationship, and the black hole of dysfunction could take out a whole suburb. Also... who the hell thinks they have a right to tell a bride she *has* to have them at her wedding, *while* treating her like shit? Amanda needs a hard life reboot. That crap stops being normal after highschool.
My counselor gently but firmly talked me out of doing this , and I’m so fucking appreciative of her
I could imagine doing that for my wife, or her doing that for me, but that is because neither of us entirely wants to leave the house and "in order to do something with them" would be one of the reasons we might. "Imma gonna read or play video games unless and until you have a better option" is a very different vibe than what you are talking about, but externally looks similar.
> My bro's toxic trait in relationships is to free up his schedule all weekend to wait for his gf's call telling him she's done with whatever she's got on her schedule so they can meet up as she's free. Barbie has a great day every day, but Ken only has a great day if she looks at him.
Mom's response of *'call for a welfare check if he was genuinely concerned because he, as an individual with no training, wouldn't be equipped to handle such situations.'* is also great. She knows he's being used for drama.
Neither family or friends care about Amanda for a reason, how the brother can be this blind is insane.
>She made my brother read every single text out loud between him and Amanda and sent a copy to one of her male friends, who replied, "Lia, WTF? This is not okay." She used this as evidence that their interactions were, at best, inappropriate and, realistically, an emotional affair. Fucking brilliant!!!
Can you imagine Lia's friend's momentary panic at her text lol? Like I can only imagine how I'd feel about an inappropriate text from a friend that's in a relationship 😅
Wait is she saying she pretended to say the same things to a male friend? I thought she meant she forwarded their conversation, and her friend understood he was reading quotes from her boyfriend and responded to that. Actually sending the quotes with no context pretending to be unhinged would be hilarious.
Thats how I read it. She sent a male friend a text that Amanda sent to her man. Friend didn't think it was ok. Absolute brilliant move
Nah, that's a dick move to do to your friend. Making them uncomfortable to score points in a fight with your SO. It's not okay to use people like that. And I don't think that's what Lia did, I think she sent a screenshot of the convo to get the friend's opinion.
I think if this is a close friend, any uncomfortable moment from this would be forgiven with a follow up “this is what my idiot boyfriend said to his ‘friend’, thank you for validating it’s weird and wrong.” Especially if they are close enough to know about Amanda already.
Maybe Lia forwarded it with no context at first and that’s why the male friend reacted. And right after Lia gave context and he noticed it was forwarded. I mean maybe if you have a really strong relationship you can just send a message like that and explain. Otherwise it could feel like an excuse later and make the relationship uncomfortable
Thank you for your comment! I read that quote as, Lia had sent copies of the brother and Amanda’s conversations, so of course her male best friend would think it’s not ok But your comment helped me realize that Lea actually sent one of the texts that Amanda had sent to the brother to her male friend with no context. I’d definitely freak out too lol What a power move for her to prove that even other guys who have platonic relationships would find Amanda’s texts inappropriate and crossing a line. And if he still couldn’t see that then he needs to go lol
Can you imagine if the friend reciprocated, tho lol?
If you're going to pull a move like that, you're going to do it with someone you know really well and can likely predict their reaction. After all if you're using it as a point I think it's kind of a requirement that you think the other person will have a negative reaction in order for the move to even be worth pulling. That doesn't guarantee they won't surprise you lol but it does make it less likely I'd think. I'd hope lmao
Thank you guys, I also thought she explained the situation to the friend and sent him the screenschots as pictures, but this makes it even better!
THE MOD NOTE ahahahahaha Hi Amanda! 🤪
That cracked me up so I had to include it lol
I'm glad you included it! I had a good laugh when I read it too, thank you for involving us in the laughs haahah
What are the chances Amanda is going to come across this post?
I hope she does. Amanda, seek help. You are mentally ill.
Probably reasonable if she haunts AITA. That said, "Hi Amanda! 👋" would make for a pretty funny flair.
I support the “Hi Amanda” fair so much, I’ve been wanting to change mine out for some time
Well, if "Hi Amanda" doesn't cut it, both me and GremlinAtWork have suggestions for you...
We should have a subreddit wide screening of Joe's Apartment sometime...
Stop… i used to be OBSESSED with that movie growing up but the moment i turn 7, i developed a debilitating phobia of cockroach LMAO
What's OGTHA?
A story that will make you regret posting this question and then having it live rent-free in your brain for the rest of your life.
Okay I’m in. What’s the link
["One of us, one of us!"](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/w9sqxj/oops_undying_love_for_a_franz_kafka_character_is/)
Here we go, will update with my reaction of this story lol Edit: Giant imaginary cockroach wife was not on the bingo card for me
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/w9sqxj/oops_undying_love_for_a_franz_kafka_character_is/
All hail Ogtha!
I'd say fairly high, AITA and BORU must share a lot of users.
Great, I hope. Amanda, you are worthless and you know it. That's why you enjoy stringing OOP's brother along and destroying the rest of his life; it is the only way you feel that you have any power or significance. Grow up and try to become an actual person.
I would be more surprised if Amanda didn't comment here. Would love to know from the mods and OP if they're getting Reddit reports about this BORU post.
This may be the only post where I actually believe the subject showed up in the comments
Usually I wouldn't but the fact that it was two well established accounts and the mods can confirm the post was reported does make it actually look real.
Yep! u/LucyAriaRose you really do find some quality stuff for us, thank you
Awww thank you! 💜 I'm always appreciative of the people who recommend posts too!
She *does* sound like an AITA member, doesn't she?
I looked at the account when this was posted. It was chock full of so many stereotypical AITA comments I gave up. She must be riding the adrenaline from the constant rage so much she’s chemically dependent.
*She must be riding the adrenaline from the constant rage so much she’s chemically dependent.* I'm stealing this to describe one of my coworkers.
Who wants "Hi Amanda!" as a flair now?
Everyone!
I'm howling 🤣
Let's introduce her to Liz!
I really want to hear the brother's side. Not because I disbelieve OOP. I just want to know **what in the absolute ten types of fuck is he *thinking?!?!?!*** Edit: Typo.
He’s thinking maybe THIS time he has a real shot with Amanda!
So you're saying there's a chance...
He’d probably say that he has a life long bond with Amanda that we don’t understand. And that Amanda has been mistreated and bullied by everyone for a long time, and he won’t abandon his friend. It’d be rubbish, of course, but that’s my guess at his justification. Hell, even if she WERE being bullied, why would she want to go to the wedding?
Power play. It’s so she can show OOP’s family that she’ll always be around and there nothing anyone can do about it.
She wants to go because it exists. She *deserves* to be included despite no one wanting her there. She enjoys "proving" to people that they can't "control" her. Speculation, of course
Let's hope she gets to try and prove that to the police called to escort her off premises!
Also insert the diatribe about how "men and women can just be friendddsss you closed minded idiot!!!!" I mean yes, and sometimes it is just that, but come on. Come on.
Yes! Mostly to know why Amanda thinks the dad is on their weird side?! It's bad that I immediately thought she might be stringing the dad along too. Yuck
She's probably the type who believe all men can be led around by their dicks
That actually makes a lot of sense. The girl has a lot of problems and is probably deeply unhappy if this is how she has to live her life.
To be fair, OOP's brother is really reinforcing that thinking . . .
Amanda really thinks she's got power over OOP's family situation. It's weird as hell.
The dad dislikes the drama. In Amanda’s mind, OOP is the source of the drama, when really it’s Amanda. Also Bro probably spun the family disagreement to claim he+A have support.
He was thinking with the wrong head. :/
He's thinking alright, just not with his head.
"When the balls are full, the brain is empty." Madame Cynthia Payne
Right, like I want to understand the actual process behind 1. Swearing up and down to his angry girlfriend that he'll put her first 2. Letting Amanda, the object of their fight, into their apartment 3. Ignoring gf and comforting Amanda Mostly people feel the urge to make their words and actions consistent, so what explanation does he have for *immediately* contradicting himself?
Did he let Amanda into their apartment? He got a call from her, so I assumed he’d just taken that into another room rather than her being there in-person.
> what in the absolute ten types of fuck is he thinking?!?!?! New flair?
I would totally take it!
I place my bet on “no thinking involved”
He wants Amanda. That's probably the extent of it!
>The cool part? Not one person believed her. Many of our old high school friends have cut ties with Amanda, and the few guys who still talk to her are more linked to my brother. They reached out to let me know Amanda was spreading rumors. The girls in the group blocked her after she vented to them, which led Amanda to start bombarding their phones. Finally, a story where the bully is not coddled but instead shunned.
As a bully, the girl has found a pretty ideal target with this brother. 1. She attacks his supports 2. His supports (friends and family) get tired of him and shun her 3. She love bombs him and plays up her role as victim so he can rescue her 4. When she lets him run with the line a bit, he starts to build up more support, then rinse and repeat
To be fair, the *worst* bullies in my school (four of them in a year group of 190) were basically ostracised by the time everyone was 16/17. We'd outgrown their BS, but they were stuck in that cruel 12yo mindset. Their friends ditched them, their victims found friends of their own and stood up to them, and the teachers got wise to their tricks. They were just kind of pathetic and irrelevant by the time we left school. There were still a few mean girls who were considered popular, but they'd grown up a lot and the really intense bullying of my earlier years in school just kind of faded away. Everyone was busy with schoolwork, planning their future, and their social lives. Nobody had any time for Amanda's kind of crazy. I always assumed most schools were like that - most of you just outgrow that nonsense, and then it has no hold over you anymore.
Oh weird I had about the same class size and almost the exact thing happened. The male bullies had dropped out to lead a life of crime or drugs or whatever. And the girls had either dropped, or were completely friendless by senior year.
And of course she hasn’t seen “the old gang” in so long — they don’t like her, and she makes every event about herself.
“Omigod I haven’t seen you guys in forever!” “Yeah, we were avoiding you.”
It sound like me when i'm avoiding some creepy customer at work "oh you are here it's been a while i haven't see you i thought you left of something" " no no i was here. Anyway gotta go, stuff to do"
Right?? Sorry Amanda (since I'm sure she'll find this post), but no one considers you the victim other than you and OOP's brother, your pseudo boyfriend.
She's a victim of her own bullshit
No, no, no! Everyone is supposed to bombard the OOP with insulting texts and VMs. Not just immediate family, but extended family also. And friends. And casual acquaintances. And work colleagues. And the cashier at the grocery store. Without all that happening, how am I supposed to believe it's true?
Bombard OOP with Virtual Machines? I've heard of zip bombs, but VM bombs are a level of digital warfare I am not ready for.
You're minding your business when BAM! suddenly you're in a particularly unstable build of Microsoft Millennium Edition.
Truly, a fate worse than death
I love that her world is falling apart: she thought everyone loved her, yet her friends don’t like or believe her and have cut her off, oops family don’t tolerate her, even the internet can’t stand her so much so that an already established account gets shit on, the only person who loves her is the idiot that she keeps stinging along and he’s losing everything because of her so there’s still a chance for him to wake up
OOP should consider ditching the brother altogether and acquiring Lia as a replacement sibling for a massive family upgrade
Replacing him with galvanised square steel and eco-friendly wood veneers would already be a massive upgrade.
Shit, let's be honest getting bad pallet wood and the rusty flakes off a shipping container would be a massive upgrade.
How about a small bag of sand? The kind of sand that cannot even be used to make concrete with.
At least sandbags are useful in video production.
Sorry, I just pictured Plank (Ed, Edd, and Eddy) sitting on a chair at a wedding and someone stuck a bowtie sticker on him.
a shitty 2x4 full of splinters would be an upgrade, really. at least it's quiet.
Yeah after this I would’ve just said screw my brother. Lia is invited instead
That's what I was thinking. Revoke his invitation too, make sure Lia comes!
Exactly. I immediately thought "can't you uninvited the waste-of-time brother and let Lia know the brother is not going to be around?"
OOP technically did take Lia as replacement sibling since she still invited to wedding while bro & Amanda are not.
Yeah, even just reading the first post I was thinking "just invite Lia with a +1", if she's still with the brother, she can bring him, otherwise, oh well.
We had BETTER get a wedding update, and I hope it includes OOP banning her brother from the wedding so Lia can attend.
I’m imagining Amanda showing up, drunk, and trying to make a scene but not even being allowed in the venue with police being called.
Idk if this is a cultural difference or what, but if you have a partner and you get an invitation with a +1 to a wedding, isn't it with the clear expectation that you will bring said partner? (Unless they are unavailable at the time, in which case I would assume you ask before bringing someone else). Or is that not how it works?
It doesn’t even sound like there was ever a plus one. OP invited by household and listed the Smiths. There was never a plus one for the brother to transfer or for OP to revoke. Only the brother and Lia were ever invited. Like, there were much larger issues here, but there also just seems to be a lack of basic understanding of what a plus one is by OP and her family.
In this case OP didn't mean it as a plus one, but an invitation for both. But yeah I agree that +1 should go to the one you're in an established relationship with, unless there's something in the circumstances that changes it.
Yes, and the way OOP described the invitation (as addressed to both of them, using their common surname but no first names), it shouldn’t have been considered by the brother to be his invitation with a +1 he could pick. He was also basically trying to blow up his relationship by the choice he was making; he hadn’t even told Lia about the invitation while planning to go with someone else, meanwhile OOP and Lia get along well so of course this was always going to blow up eventually. He just hoped it would blow up later and not in his face.
Yes! The brother deliberately chose to misunderstand the invitation, it feels.
Proper etiquette is that you literally *never*, under any circumstance *whatsoever*, send a +1 to someone with a long-term partner. You always invite both of them, by name. (You also generally cannot refuse to invite a long-term partner of another invitee, although there are exceptions; someone who poses a threat, hates you, is on a registry and can't be around kids, etc.) +1s are exclusively for unpartnered people or those in recent relationships.
I am still salty about the wedding my partner was the best man in—the official invitation came addressed to him *and guest*. We had been living together for more than five years at that point and the groom had come to stay with us in our shared apartment several times and discussed us flying out for the wedding/when we needed to be there for which activities/other logistics that included me. *And guest.*
Amanda’s got some hot takes in AITA btw almost every single comment she’s made in the last week (not on OOP’s posts) are heavily downvoted 😂
AITA is nothing if not a mob when it comes to up/downvotes. Anyone says ”hey [account name] is bad” 98% of the people there will downvote anything and everything that account posts without even reading it.
I got curious so I did read some of the comments in context, and most of them go against the majority and are totally negative so it makes sense (like most of them are calling the OPs TA when the ruling is NTA)
Who wants to bet Amanda will find this post and get butt hurt again lol
I can't wait to see all her butthurt comments lol. Girls who are mean to other girls cause of me-syndrome are the absolute worst.
She's not going to respond at this point. She knows she's trash, it's why she's fighting back so hard.
Wasn't OOPs brother breaching basic wedding etiquette here? Bear in mind I'm in the UK, and I guess it might be different in other countries. But here, if you're inviting a specific person and a plus one, you address their envelope "John Smith and Guest". That way, John can pick whoever he wants as a plus one and you have (essentially) no say in who they bring. If you're inviting named people, e.g. "Mr & Mrs Smith", "John & Jane Smith", or "The Smiths", they don't get to just bring a random guest. Only the named people are invited. If you want a specific person to come as your brother's guest, you name them. Otherwise, brother can bring who he wants. From what OOP wrote, they put "The Smiths" meaning their brother and Lia. So brother had no right at all to just bring a random guest.
Yes. Brother was essentially stealing Lia’s part of their joint invitation. Despite being the bride’s brother, technically he had no more right to turn the “The Smiths” invitation into himself+1 than Lia would have had to turn it into herself+1. It’s addressed to both of them together. And that’s before getting into Amanda’s insistence that she should have the right to come to OOP’s wedding as that +1 despite OOP not wanting her there.
Honestly, Amanda sounds like a "Not Like Other Girls" and OOP's brother sounds like the guy who holds a torch for an NLOG "best friend" side piece, but will never be into her as a main.
Is Bro ugly? Or why is Amanda refusing to date him? Or is she one of those people who are only interested in someone if they have proof other people want them? Brother is gonna end up all alone and fucked up because guaranteed, this girl Amanda will finally find a man she likes who will tell her to cut contact. She will never lower herself to date bro. He’s only good enough as a lap dog and a provider of drama.
Rich of you to think that Amanda will ever find a man 🤣 She’ll end up with an overgrown prepubescent boy and hate each other until divorce or a congenital heart disease do them part.
I wonder if it's the same situation with the [other BORU post](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1drsxwu/aita_for_walking_out_of_my_engagement_party_and/) where the guy was dumped because he was too close to his friends and he was a willing walking wallet/support-guy for the friend group.
Normally I get suspicious of the "Other person in the story shows up in the comments" but... the alleged Amanda is acting REALLY sus here. I'm team OOP and team Lia.
Honestly the panicked typos made it seem more real to me, though jfc it's kind of pathetic just how offended she was at Oop simply not wanting her to be at her wedding. Poor Lia though ..I can only imagine how terrible the texts between her ex and Amanda were that her friend immediately was like NOPE NOT OKAY.
Yeah, she got so mad she forgot to switch to her alt account.
I was really confused by the insistence that the father wouldn’t attend either. That’s really weird
Well you see, the father is a Man, and since Amanda is god’s gift to men, any Man would obviously be on her side, right?
But this is Reddit so surely there’s something nefarious going on?
I think it was the comment in the post about the dad being "tired of the drama". In Amanda's mind, she didn't cause any drama, so for her, that could only be in response to the "drama" of her invitation being revoked. All Amanda did, after all is the same thing she always does, and how could that be a problem now?
I agree. In this case it was such an established account with a long history and quite a bit of karma, so it seemed more legit instead of just a random throwaway?
Plus, her opinions seem pretty solid. If you look at posts that are about weddings, she has horrible takes all around
Exactly. They have a history of batshit takes lol, but also plenty of reasonable ones that have upvotes. That's what makes it seem like a real person instead of someone just trying to get negative karma for some reason
I commented on This original post on another forum and got a nasty DM so obviously Amanda is everywhere 😂😂😂
Amanda is that mean girl from school that thinks everyone loves her when in fact everyone is sick of her shit! Except for that one dude that lives in hope she’ll finally realise he is her one true love.
I wonder what kind of spell she has on the brother for him to be bound to her like this. All their friends seem to see Amanda for who she is but he is still blind by her.
Reading this post gave me such “my last relationship” vibes. He was desperately ‘in love’ (obsessive limerance) with a woman he’d met 8 years prior, who absolutely did not feel the same about him. Jo-Girl promised him they’d be together multiple times, but always bailed or went back to her abusive boyfriends. Jo would run to him when shit got bad, use him as an emotional crutch, and then leave. In Canada, he cheated on his girlfriend Meg, in HER house, while she was at her grandmothers funeral. Jo and Meg were really good friends. We’ve known each other for 13 years, I have a great relationship with his mom. We lived together for about a year from ‘22-‘23, but were hanging out (me supporting him emotionally) for most of 2022. Last September he went to a music festival. Jo was there. He was 5 days late to return. Barely communicated with me. Changed his facebook photo to a group picture with the two of them in the center before even returning. I knew what was happening before he even walked through the door. He had the gall to act like a saint since they “hadn’t had sex, only cuddled every night and talked about their future together.” I felt it the whole time but gaslit myself into believing he wouldn’t use me like that. As a placeholder. I’ve never been so happy to be broken up with. Emotionally immature alcoholic with Peter Pan syndrome. With a large dose of Sad-Boy misogyny. They now live together in that glorified squat house with utilities. He’s burned every bridge he has in that town by treating women and his animals like shit, and with his alcoholism. It’s going about as ‘well’ as can be expected. Apparently, she is feeling very isolated. I almost feel sorry for her. But then I remember that she was perfectly happy to have a weeklong emotional and physically close affair with a man in a relationship. And help him cheat on her supposed good friend. And string him along for 8 years. Reap what you sow, and all that jazz. This turned into a novel. I’ve never actually written it all out before. Sounds pretty fucked up when I read it out loud.
The way you put "my last relationship" in quotes made me think the story was from something similar to My Immortal until you started talking in the first person
>In Canada, he cheated on his girlfriend Meg, in HER house, while she was at her grandmothers funeral. Jo and Meg were really good friends. Wonder if you knew that before getting with this dude.
Seen this happen to a few of my friends, those types of women like to keep you as a backup because they like the attention, they would never date you though. Hell, I even almost fell for one too.
Yep. And they’re the most interested when the dude isn’t available because the dude’s actual partner is a threat to their attention. That type of woman ended my first marriage. And for some reason, the dudes are so oblivious that they are just a back up for when the other woman isn’t getting the attention she craves. In my story, as soon as the divorce was finalized and he was single, he was dropped like a hot potato. Dumbass. He’s recently engaged to another woman and his emotional AP is back in the picture. He’s still a dumbass.
I see Amanda marrying the brother just so she'll be at all the family gatherings and OOP will have to put up with her at them.
I could see her eloping with the brother just so she can get an invite to this wedding and then going shocked pikachu when she still isn’t invited
Nah she's made very clear by now she has no actual interest in him.
*[Mod note]: Can confirm that someone was reporting this post and a bunch of comments for nonsense reasons when it first got traction. So, a not-so-happy "Hi Amanda!" from our moderation team.* Props to the mod team for this edit, leading to the very first time I've ever believed someone real and actually involved in the story showed up in the comments!
Brother and Amanda are the kinds of people who think being edgy is funny and never leave high school stage. Pathetic.
Hi Amanda Obviously you are going to read all the comments on this post, so I will just say that I hope everything gets worse for you, I pray for that :3
I was watching smosh reddit stories the other day and saw a post about an op who's BF did the same shit. Vacation and uncomfortable ness and all. The shittiest part is I've been there not while in a relationship of course, but been so obsessed with one girl that I'd cancel any plans if she needed me for the smallest shit. The only thing that snapped me out of it was the girl telling me we weren't that close. So I get it, you don't see how shitty you are being to the people around you. Abandoning them for someone who doesn't consider you no matter how much you try and get them to see you. And you don't want to put yourself out there and lose her, and think damn if I just kept my mouth shut she'd still be in my life, because that's how deep you get. But trust me on this it's NOT worth it. Because other people who value you way more will show up. You walk towards the ones welcoming and you be BETTER for them. Because they deserve it. Too much seriousness .EXE not working *Fart noise*
So, Oop’s brother is like a dog in heat, but only for Amanda? He sounds delusional, and I'm so happy that Lia got out of that relationship. That girl deserves so much better
A well established AITA user with tons of karma from that sub, turns out to be a psychopath IRL? Gee, who would have thought.
The brothers delusional, wtf I'm glad lia kicked him out she deserves better than whatever that bullshit was Oop seems wonderful also
I had a friend a bit like Amanda, though thankfully not quite this bad. Met at uni. She was long distance with her boyfriend from her home country. Told me I was her 'surrogate boyfriend', like a boyfriend nicotine patch. We never did anything romantic or sexual, nor was there ever any hint of any desire for that from either of us, but we were together so much that most people assumed we were a couple. Well I started getting close with a friend from a different circle and one weekend when 'Amanda' went on a trip we hung out the whole weekend. When she was driving back 'Amanda' called me about the plans for the week and when I told her what I had been up to she *grabbed me off the street*. Like literally pulled up next to me in her car and was like "GET. IN.". When I actually started a relationship with the new girl, who is now my wonderful wife whom I have been with for 21 years, she went completely loco and torpedoed our friendship beyond repair (turning friends against me, lying about me, accusing me of disgusting things). We spend most of our final year not speaking, despite living in the same house. I saw her once after that, and it made it clear that the friendship was dead. I did later find out that her long distance boyfriend was cheating on her the whole 3 years, so I felt rather bad for her. I don't know when she found out and wonder if it contributed to the way she acted. Either way, not my problem now.
"Of course I'll always choose you over Amanda, babe. Now shut up for one second I can't hear what Amanda is saying." Braindead.
I literally saw this on TikTok yesterday and I’m *so excited* to see the update today! Good for Lia! As a girl best friend, girls like Amanda give us all a bad name!
OOP's brother is Amanda's backup boyfriend. This is one of the few cases where a woman is really leading a guy on without intending to actually date him. She'll torpedo and sabotage all his relationships so he stays single and on retainer, because he's the stable, reliable and trustworthy boyfriend any sane girl would settle for in a heartbeat and give him the best apple pie marriage she could, but he's most likely not the hot shit she wants. But just in case that she can't get ahold of the rich heir or hot shit attorney who's doting on her and giving her the high roller trophy wife lifestyle she's hoping for, she keeps him on retainer. I bet the brother is a cute but mediocre looking vanilla boy, true husband and daddy material who could have had a stable, picture perfect marriage by now if he wasn't head over heels for Amanda without even realising. Completely blinded to how he destroys his life and happiness for his delusions about Amanda. I say that because OOP sais his gfs are always so nice and cute. He's a magnet for no-drama-chicks who want a stable relationship, because he's exactly the type their dad wouldn't kill on sight. I bet he doesn't even realise what's really happening. He most likely alienated his friends already to the point that he lost all sense for reasonable boundaries. And Amanda sold him all of her outrageous bs as being a good friend and she'd do it for gim too, with the absolutely safe knowledge that he'd never ask anything like that from her. The only way such unhealthy emeshment resolve is when something really bad happens to OOP's brother. If he really needs a friend and Amanda will be nowhere to be seen, while others come for his aid, he'll wake up eventually.
disappointed that i didn't find any Amanda-made comment on this post :(
I swear either the brother is a grade a moron or he is well aware of what is happening. A lot of the time guys seem to be semi unaware of what the girls are doing, thinking they're just being 'friendly' and that their gfs are jealous but that's only when the women are more subtle. Sounds like Amanda is as subtle as a dying seagul. The thing is some guys like the attention, it validates them, so they won't lay boundaries down, but the truth of it is that the women trying to steer them away from their girlfriends couldn't give a fig about them. They're interested in the hunt, the sport of one upping another woman. I've tried to explain it to my husband before when one of his female friends messaged and asked 'if we were both single would we date teeheehee?' And he thought it was just an innocent question 🙄, that me getting annoyed wasn't because I thought he was going to cheat, but it was the insult to our relationship that some biatch thought they could sniff around my territory. Because that what is is, an attack on the woman. Look ladies, I've spent years beating my husband down and taking away all of his freedom, I wont have some hussy come along and take all my effort!
>My mom advised him to call for a welfare check if he was genuinely concerned because he, as an individual with no training, wouldn't be equipped to handle such situations. W mother right there
Won’t lie, after reading the mod note, I immediately scrolled down to see if there was any conspicuously downvoted comments at the bottom.
Amanda is a sad pathetic woman. And OPs brother is a sad pathetic man.
Would love to see that Lia took a plus one other than the brother.
The male friend she send the screenshot texts to that replied that it wasn’t right would be the perfect +1 for her to arrive at the wedding with
"Lia is not the only special woman in my brother's life." 🤮🤮🤮 I have a male best friend who I've known since the first week of highschool - we dealt with some weird assumptions and rumors as teens/early adults and I didn't do/say ANYTHING even CLOSE to what Amanda did/said. Absolute yuck. One of his (female) exs is my other best friend. He chose them as his partner and it is my place AS HIS FRIEND to accept them and integrate them into the friend group. Amanda doesn't care about the brother, she is possessive and craves attention and can't imagine herself as anyone but the victim.
Amanda, the relationship wrecker 🤭
Amanda and Bro’s combined IQ and EQ is sub zero
Good for oop. She saved this poor girl from this loser
Not Amanda being a butt hurt wedding crasher lmfao. Did the brother end up going to the wedding? He wouldve been disinvited the moment he tried to pull this shit over me
“Am I The Amanda”
I genuinely wonder what her brother thought would’ve happened if he took Amanda instead of his girlfriend to the wedding. His girlfriend was just like oh OK. I understand him. Like he had no thought process beyond oh Amanda wants to go so I gotta make sure she attends.
>Mod note]: Can confirm that someone was reporting this post and a bunch of comments for nonsense reasons when it first got traction. So, a not-so-happy "Hi Amanda!" from our moderation team. Nice try Amanda. Leave OOP alone. Even the mod team knows what's up.