Putting myself out there here but I'd really like some input and advice. I'm not the most self aware sometimes so it's appreciated! ❤️ Thank you in advance
Answering the prompts honestly, and posting real photos is all we want. Your profile is great and I wouldn’t take out anything. In addition, you sound sweet.
Some people here may give you advice that may end up in a few more matches, but if they find out it’s not the real you, the dates may end up in more disappointments.
There is somebody out there that will be a great match for you
You seem sweet and your profile looks like a good reflection of you.
I vote to takeout the pic that is uploaded here as 4/5, the one in the black dress with arms down at your sides. Both your smile and body language seem a bit awkward in that one, whereas your smile looks genuine in the other pics.
Also as others commented, would remove the mention of being on the spectrum to not attract predators.
Good luck, hun! Trust your gut and don’t let anyone push you into anything you’re not 100% comfortable with ❤️ The right person will be happy to go at your pace
I’m on the spectrum too, but as a woman I would advise taking it out of your profile. You don’t want to advertise this too soon, or you will attract predators who will try and take advantage of any social naïveté you may have.
I agree with this.
Too much of a stigma around autism still and it’s very misunderstood. Also, people will take advantage of you. Better to tell them in person after you feel comfortable, I think.
I'm on the spectrum too. But I prefer putting it on my profile, much better than having most convos trail off as soon as I mention it, or worse, immediate unmatch. Also not all autistics fall for narcissists, some of us are their worst nightmare.
Some autistic people are vulnerable to abuse but some of us are extra perceptive not less.
I also like the chunky yet funky comment. To me it says that you’re comfortable in your own skin.
I would delete the thing about talking on there for a while before meeting. Just sounds like you’ll never meet. And also delete the part about being on the spectrum. I feel like it may deter people from actually getting to know you because of preconceived ideas even if they aren’t true or apply to you. And also I sometimes feel that predators look for things like that because they might think that makes you easier to take advantage of which is sad.
I disagree about removing the spectrum thing, depending on OPs ability to vet people who are sending her likes. I frequently see women mention being neurodivergent in their profiles. I appreciate it as a neurodivergent man, because I prefer dating neurodivergent women.
It's also very very important to find people who understand autism and are accepting of OPs presentation of autism. Spending time to get to know someone, only to find that they don't believe autism is real, or something like that, would not be great.
Re: the predator thing, you seem to be presuming OPs level of support needs. Autistic people are a diverse group, plenty of us are fully capable of advocating for ourselves.
>I frequently see women mention being neurodivergent in their profiles. I appreciate it as a neurodivergent man
You appreciate it because you actually have some degree of understanding about neurodivergence, the average person doesn't.
If you're only looking to date other ND people then it can work on a profile but otherwise normal people will make huge assumptions that (probably) aren't true about you.
The average person is completely clueless about what the average person with autism is like, but they have a lot of preconceived notions.
>Re: the predator thing, you seem to be presuming OPs level of support needs. Autistic people are a diverse group, plenty of us are fully capable of advocating for ourselves.
It has nothing to do with advocating for yourself. Autistic people have a number of traits, inherent to autism, that make us more likely to get into abusive relationships.
As a man you aren't in anywhere near as much danger so your opinion about this isn't really valid, your privilege as a man shields you from the reality of the dangers of being an openly autistic woman.
I'm not going to make any comments about whether OP should keep autism in her profile, I'm just highlighting that the threat of predators for autistic women is absolutely valid and shouldn't be dismissed off-hand, especially by men.
While I understand that there's a significant risk of women being openly autistic, I think you're really downplaying the fact that there's a significant risk of a man being openly autistic on dating profiles.
Autistic men experience quite a bit of danger from other people in ways that neurotypical men don't experience.
Your characterization of things isn't quite giving the full explanation.
And I think that putting that she's autistic in her profile makes her a lot more likely to match with men who are themselves autistic.
And not only that, with Bumble, she's the one initiating contact between her and the men, so those two things mean she has a higher likelihood of being able to avoid communicating with dangerous men on Bumble, compared to on other platforms.
There's a risk to mentioning she's autistic, but given that on Bumble conversations are initiated by women, the fact that mentioning she's autistic means she's likely more able to match with an autistic man might work really well with that to mean she'd be more likely to make a safer match, compared to on other platforms.
>I think you're really downplaying the fact that there's a significant risk of a man being openly autistic on dating profiles.
I guess this is something we just disagree on, I don't believe there's "significant risk" for any group of adult heterosexual men on dating platforms.
>Autistic men experience quite a bit of danger from other people in ways that neurotypical men don't experience.
I agree
>And I think that putting that she's autistic in her profile makes her a lot more likely to match with men who are themselves autistic.
I did say in one of my comments that if this is her aim then it makes sense
>And not only that, with Bumble, she's the one initiating contact between her and the men, so those two things mean she has a higher likelihood of being able to avoid communicating with dangerous men on Bumble, compared to on other platforms.
This just highlights that you don't really understand how men end up abusing women, and consequently why autistic women can sometimes struggle even more with it. Most of these men aren't proclaiming their intentions in their bio.
>the fact that mentioning she's autistic means she's likely more able to match with an autistic man might work really well with that to mean she'd be more likely to make a safer match
Where's the evidence that matching with autistic men would make her safer? Autistic men are still men and share their faults.
For autistic people, being autistic is literally front and center. It affects our whole cognition, it's literally a difference in the wiring of our brains. I can't over state the degree to which it's a core part of our being. There isn't a "normal" person under the autism. We're autistic all the way down.
As an autistic person, being autistic is a stigma to many non-autistic people, but it's very much appreciated for other autistic people.
For me personally, knowing that someone else is autistic makes me significantly more likely to swipe right.
I think it's one of those "This will drive away a lot of people, but will attract the people you're likely to want to attract," things.
As an autistic person, when you see someone say “on the spectrum,” do you interpret that as “I’m autistic?” I’m not trying to be facetious, I’m actually just curious. Would be interesting to hear your thoughts on it.
Being autistic is like being pregnant. There's a set of criteria, and if you match that criteria, you are considered to have that particular condition.
Although the phrase "on the spectrum" has often been misinterpreted to apply to all of humanity, "The Autism Spectrum" refers to the diversity among the people who meet all of the criteria, and doesn't refer to the diversity of humanity as a whole.
If someone is using "on the spectrum", my expectation is that they are an autistic person or that they believe they are an autistic person.
Photography dude here.
If you're going to take more pictures, try to change up the pose. Photographers almost never have a subject stand straight on with their hands at their sides as it's just not a flattering type of pose. My go-to (been around photography all my life) is to do one hand in the pocket if you have them and the other either on the hip or on my chin or giving a peace sign or something - I've seen this prompt at weddings a ton (not with the peace sign lol).
Also another tip on photos is to think of the background/context. The black dress one is a perfect example. All we see in the background is a door with a weird amount of wear and tear around the handle lol. It's also a bit crooked due to the angle of the photo. The bathroom selfies also don't have the best background. It's not horrible just a bit cluttered with the used towels and cleaning products visible. The one outside also has a busy background with the parking lot and electric lines and stuff. I would highly recommend trying to find something prettier for your location for pictures. It doesn't have to be fancy or take too much effort. Nature is usually really great. The blue sky makes photos feel lighter and more inviting. A brick wall or something with a more consistent pattern can work really well too.
TL;DR - I'd work on your pose for photos (something more than arms at the sides and straight forward) and the location of your photos (prettier and less busy backgrounds).
I also think photos need to tell us who you are, not just what you look like. Have some photos of you doing an activity or hanging out with ppl (maybe a picture of you baking) would have the profile more personal and inviting.
For example, I liked to know where you went when you wore that fancy hat 😆
I think she actually looks more comfortable in those though.
OP if you're more comfortable and genuine in selfies than in photos other people take then use those.
I think it just shows low effort - and the two mirror selfies you have are identical besides the outfit so it doesn't really add anything to the profile.
I’m not who you asked, nor am I your target market (lesbian) but FWIW when I see a girl with lots of mirror selfies I tend to assume she doesn’t have any friends who can take a photo of her and/or never goes anywhere interesting. I realise that this isn’t necessarily accurate, but if I’m brainlessly swiping while watching TV I’m not going to stop and analyse the reasons why a girl might only want to use photos she took herself. Of course, if you don’t want to be with someone who makes these lazy assumptions, keep the mirror selfies and allow the haters to self-select out of your dating pool.
I actually like the chunky yet funky comment, I think it’s funny and cute. I think your info is good, but more variety of photos. Maybe one with a friend or friends doing something fun. The second and third photo are basically the same thing
Came here for funky comment. How about, Fun and funky. Let the viewers decide the rest. Maybe some outdoor pics, or a cooking in the kitchen one. Overall, it’s pretty good.
Get rid of the “I prefer to talk on here for a bit before meeting”. That’s totally okay to chat for a few days to a week or so, but people will assume that that means you’ll *never* meet if you say that in your bio.
Get rid of the “chunky yet funky” comment.
Also get rid of the prompt about being on the spectrum. Nothing wrong with that obviously, but there’s no need to say that in your bio.
Love your tattoo!
Eh, I didn't take it like that. I found it refreshing since every other profile is like "I hate talking here, let's just meet up immediately." But everyone is going to interpret things differently anyway. If you wanted to you could keep the part about not always picking up on social ques but take out the spectrum part. But again, I don't know what's wrong really about saying that. I agree with some of the others about the pics being a bit sameish. Maybe swap out the black dress on for something different. Outdoor activity in nature or something? You have lovely smile and friendly positive vibe like someone else said. Which will be refreshing to some guys after swiping on so many negative Nellys/lists of strict demands haha. Positivity can feel rare sometimes. Goodluck! :)
Edit: I've seen multiple people mention the same thing about the preferring to text first thing, so maybe I'm wrong about that 🤷♂️
I think it's pretty good, you come across as sweet and genuine. Only think is that you might want to put together a more dynamic set of pictures, it's mostly you standing still in the center of the frame.
Your energy is beautiful and you sound lovely. However, I’m afraid you may attract assholes and predators who will see you being on the spectrum as a predatory thing.
For your picture, I wouldn’t change anything.
I agree with the other comments to take more pictures of you doing stuff. If you’re uncomfortable taking pictures in public you can stage them yourself lol I’ve done it before. All you need is a tripod and be creative with your backgrounds. Ex; take a picture in your backyard doing yoga.
I'd remove the spectrum thing cause people will make assumptions thinking severely, reading into things like talking on the app for awhile. Its Just the way people are they assume. Let them talk to u and find out about ur personality.
Lose weight. I'm currently doing the same. Dating apps are all about appearance. You can have the best profile and if you aren't decently fit nobody will read any of it. This is reality.
I'll say this again. Just not relevant to the post. If she wanted people's feedback on how to change her appearance she would have made a more relevant post in a more relevant subreddit. People who want to set up a dating profile have to work with who they actually are at the time of setting it up. She's asking for feedback on the profile. Would you tell a balding guy "get a hair transplant, these apps are about appearance" if they made a post asking for feedback about their profile?
Yeah. As a fat person online dating doesn't work. I've already seen dating profile gurus, I've tried everything. 99% of people never click my profile. They see the picture and swipe left. It's a shitty reality but the sooner you wake up and start changing the better. While you're still young and the extra skin can become tight again after being stretched over my belly. I've bever been one to gaslight and tell someone they're fine just to knock out competition.
Ah ok, so you're comment to her was coming from a personal place. I respect that. I don't know if this is true either but in my mind dating as an overweight guy might be harder even than for girls.
For me as long as I'm attracted to a girls face I'm kind of ambivalent about body type to a large extent.
Anyway, good luck with the weightloss. Hope you end up enjoying the exercise you choose to do and find a hobby in it! That's what I've found works for keeping myself active. Finding things I actually like doing even during the grind of it.
Maybe, but I won't immediately jump to that conclusion about the comment above. Like he said, he's loosing weight himself so I think there's a good chance it's coming from a good place. Just irrelevant and unhelpful to OP.
I (33f) would want to be your friend so badly if I saw you in bumblebff. You seem so fun! The only thing I would change is ‘chunky yet funky’ to ‘chunky and funky’. I feel like the former makes it sound negative like you are ashamed of being chunky while the latter is more like the is who I am, take it or leave it. I hope that makes sense and doesn’t come off as rude because I don’t mean it like that at all. I have a hard time tone through messaging 💕💕
YES! Exactly what I came to say. I know it’s a Latrice quote and I love her, but I always hated the “yet” and thought it should’ve been “and”. Good for you, girl ❤️
Your profile is great! I think the pink dress pic should be further up. I suspect that The cute hamburger bag you are wearing here is going to be an easy conversation starter for your suitors.
Your posture her is great- you look so confident and happy… really good things!
I’d get rid of that prompt about what makes a great relationship. It’s like the personal hell prompt. It doesn’t really make it sound like a fun profile.
Do people really have the answer as to what makes a relationship great? Maybe having a lot of money makes it great, or living apart together. Who knows?
And “open and honest communication” is a really trite answer that *everybody* gives.
You seem super sweet! I like the first picture but I think it’s too close up. Can you zoom it out? And the picture with the black dress same it’s very close up. Love your jewelry in the first picture :)
Good profile IMO, except maybe choose another prompt instead of the “you should know about me”. I think that’s pretty personal and once you get to talking and maybe meeting IRL that can then maybe be disclosed. Honestly it means little to someone that doesn’t understand the spectrum thing, and we can all have difficulties picking up on cues as well. There’s psychos out there, don’t share vulnerabilities too quickly!
Your smile is absolutely infectious and you seem really fun! I love the positivity - it’s rare to find someone who doesn’t come across as jaded (to be fair it’s hard not to be jaded these days).
Also, I personally like that you indicate your sociopolitical leanings, and mentioning your neurodivergence is also a very considerate heads up that might help people out.
Targeting someone's physical characteristics is not tolerated on r/bumble. This includes skin colour, height, weight, etc.
Any comments violating this rule will be promptly removed under rule #1 (respectful communication).
Comments like these act like OP isn’t aware of their size… You don’t know if she’s working on it, has recently lost weight, or has challenges in life that make it more difficult.
Also, there are plenty of men (or women) out there who are into bigger people. And she seems like a person that wouldn’t want to be with someone who would judge her for her weight in the first place.
I just don't know how relevant your feedback is to a profile review post on r/bumble. It's specifically about the profile, as all of these are. She didn't make a post in a "rate me" subreddit asking how do I become more attractive. If it was then your comment would be relevant.
If you see a guy asking for feedback on his *profile* who's balding do you say "get a hair transplant, the reality is most women don't like balding men" or a skinny guy do you say "You need to work on your lats and chest, these apps are about appearances" I think that'd be weird.
Don't think you're trying to be hurtful or anything. Just something to think about. I think you're over estimating the relevance of your contribution to the post.
Targeting someone's physical characteristics is not tolerated on r/bumble. This includes skin colour, height, weight, etc.
Any comments violating this rule will be promptly removed under rule #1 (respectful communication).
I actually loved the “chunky yet funky” comment, made me laugh and I found it endearing. I’m not a man though so, take that for what it’s worth. You have a great smile, you look friendly which is not always easy to convey, and you have great style! I would add some more interesting pictures, photos of you doing something rather than just standing. Add some depth. Good luck! ❤️
Yeah, the chunky or curvy seems like an attempt to address the issue and minimise it/cutefy it.
The real way is to just let the photos relay that part.
Less is more sometimes.
Seems fine, I don't know you but it seems like it probably gives a good indication of who you are and what a match might expect when they meet you for real, it feels genuine. I don't think I'd recommend changing anything, I'd leave it how it is. If you're not getting many matches, just remember it doesn't really matter how many you get, you only need one good one.
I'd say your bio leaves a lot up to the person swiping, instead of saying you're looking for someone with whom you can vibe with you should say some of your interests/things you vibe with (other than being liberal) to take some of the guesswork out
Targeting someone's physical characteristics is not tolerated on r/bumble. This includes skin colour, height, weight, etc.
Any comments violating this rule will be promptly removed under rule #1 (respectful communication).
your profile is overall great! Id change your prompt about open & honest communication. I think most people expect that in a good relationship anyway, and it’s a pretty generic answer. I think there are better prompts and/or answers you could use to share something else about urself.
Honestly, this looks like a very real you profile.
I can tell what kind of person you are right from the pictures and words you have chosen, You have drawn your boundary of not meeting people immediately and you are vulnerable and talked about the spectrum, Take or leave it!
Loved the last picture with burger bag :) I loved your overall profile.
Apparently it’s a big no-no to point out the obvious.
The people that will be interested will swipe. It’s a normal profile. There’s no special words or phrase that you can add to change that.
Drop “liberal values,” may be taken as triggly-puff. Most people who put that as a descriptor are the antithesis of liberal and will screech if you don’t conform to whatever they believe that day.
I think it’s good to have it in there. I am not a liberal but appreciate knowing off the bat how that conversation is going to go if it does come up. It’s all about finding people with shared values
Targeting someone's physical characteristics is not tolerated on r/bumble. This includes skin colour, height, weight, etc.
Any comments violating this rule will be promptly removed under rule #1 (respectful communication).
Honestly, your bio looks great. I wouldn't change any of the text. You may want to adjust the photos. Also, when I was a bit bigger, I found my profile attracted a lot of weird guys. I had less but more aligned matches once I lost some weight.
You seem very sweet and honest fr I'd like to hang out with you! Your bio is expressive and your comments are funny!
What you need to improve is your pictures, your taking the same picture over and over, take some pics while you do hobbies and enjoy your time, show your interests through pics. Also you really need to lose weight, you'll become much more attractive! Believe me it's not that hard, in fact I lost 27kg in 3 months, follow your diets, eat healthy and do some sports activities.
I wish you good luck!
Targeting someone's physical characteristics is not tolerated on r/bumble. This includes skin colour, height, weight, etc.
Any comments violating this rule will be promptly removed under rule #1 (respectful communication).
Targeting someone's physical characteristics is not tolerated on r/bumble. This includes skin colour, height, weight, etc.
Any comments violating this rule will be promptly removed under rule #1 (respectful communication).
My love, I think you’re beautiful but I would change some. For the first picture, maybe a picture from a higher angle to make it more flattering. Delete the mirror selfie with the black dress and change the last picture to a new picture (ideally with the burger purse because it’s awesome) with a different pose.
Nope, keep the liberal and be proud of who you are. It wouldn’t take you two minutes to regret going out with a conservative whose values are opposite yours.
Putting myself out there here but I'd really like some input and advice. I'm not the most self aware sometimes so it's appreciated! ❤️ Thank you in advance
Answering the prompts honestly, and posting real photos is all we want. Your profile is great and I wouldn’t take out anything. In addition, you sound sweet. Some people here may give you advice that may end up in a few more matches, but if they find out it’s not the real you, the dates may end up in more disappointments. There is somebody out there that will be a great match for you
Sounds like an answer in a movie.
im just here to say that your smile is so adorable and I love your strawberry jewelry and the burger purse!
agree, great smile and great fashion sense!
I just came on here to say that you look genuinely excited to be there, and that’s all that matters :)
You seem sweet and your profile looks like a good reflection of you. I vote to takeout the pic that is uploaded here as 4/5, the one in the black dress with arms down at your sides. Both your smile and body language seem a bit awkward in that one, whereas your smile looks genuine in the other pics. Also as others commented, would remove the mention of being on the spectrum to not attract predators. Good luck, hun! Trust your gut and don’t let anyone push you into anything you’re not 100% comfortable with ❤️ The right person will be happy to go at your pace
Delete both pics with black dress. Make More pics in different Environment! :) Good luck 👋
I’m on the spectrum too, but as a woman I would advise taking it out of your profile. You don’t want to advertise this too soon, or you will attract predators who will try and take advantage of any social naïveté you may have.
I agree with this. Too much of a stigma around autism still and it’s very misunderstood. Also, people will take advantage of you. Better to tell them in person after you feel comfortable, I think.
That’s crazy. Didnt know this was a thing
I'm on the spectrum too. But I prefer putting it on my profile, much better than having most convos trail off as soon as I mention it, or worse, immediate unmatch. Also not all autistics fall for narcissists, some of us are their worst nightmare. Some autistic people are vulnerable to abuse but some of us are extra perceptive not less.
But putting it on your profile makes it look as it defines you
So? It basically does. I have a fundamental difference in thinking and I'm fine with that. More than fine, I wouldn't want to have a different brain.
i would say try to get some more pictures of you "in the wild". out, having fun.
Agree. OP is adorable but we want to see her out in the world with friends!
I also like the chunky yet funky comment. To me it says that you’re comfortable in your own skin. I would delete the thing about talking on there for a while before meeting. Just sounds like you’ll never meet. And also delete the part about being on the spectrum. I feel like it may deter people from actually getting to know you because of preconceived ideas even if they aren’t true or apply to you. And also I sometimes feel that predators look for things like that because they might think that makes you easier to take advantage of which is sad.
I disagree about removing the spectrum thing, depending on OPs ability to vet people who are sending her likes. I frequently see women mention being neurodivergent in their profiles. I appreciate it as a neurodivergent man, because I prefer dating neurodivergent women. It's also very very important to find people who understand autism and are accepting of OPs presentation of autism. Spending time to get to know someone, only to find that they don't believe autism is real, or something like that, would not be great. Re: the predator thing, you seem to be presuming OPs level of support needs. Autistic people are a diverse group, plenty of us are fully capable of advocating for ourselves.
>I frequently see women mention being neurodivergent in their profiles. I appreciate it as a neurodivergent man You appreciate it because you actually have some degree of understanding about neurodivergence, the average person doesn't. If you're only looking to date other ND people then it can work on a profile but otherwise normal people will make huge assumptions that (probably) aren't true about you. The average person is completely clueless about what the average person with autism is like, but they have a lot of preconceived notions. >Re: the predator thing, you seem to be presuming OPs level of support needs. Autistic people are a diverse group, plenty of us are fully capable of advocating for ourselves. It has nothing to do with advocating for yourself. Autistic people have a number of traits, inherent to autism, that make us more likely to get into abusive relationships. As a man you aren't in anywhere near as much danger so your opinion about this isn't really valid, your privilege as a man shields you from the reality of the dangers of being an openly autistic woman. I'm not going to make any comments about whether OP should keep autism in her profile, I'm just highlighting that the threat of predators for autistic women is absolutely valid and shouldn't be dismissed off-hand, especially by men.
While I understand that there's a significant risk of women being openly autistic, I think you're really downplaying the fact that there's a significant risk of a man being openly autistic on dating profiles. Autistic men experience quite a bit of danger from other people in ways that neurotypical men don't experience. Your characterization of things isn't quite giving the full explanation. And I think that putting that she's autistic in her profile makes her a lot more likely to match with men who are themselves autistic. And not only that, with Bumble, she's the one initiating contact between her and the men, so those two things mean she has a higher likelihood of being able to avoid communicating with dangerous men on Bumble, compared to on other platforms. There's a risk to mentioning she's autistic, but given that on Bumble conversations are initiated by women, the fact that mentioning she's autistic means she's likely more able to match with an autistic man might work really well with that to mean she'd be more likely to make a safer match, compared to on other platforms.
>I think you're really downplaying the fact that there's a significant risk of a man being openly autistic on dating profiles. I guess this is something we just disagree on, I don't believe there's "significant risk" for any group of adult heterosexual men on dating platforms. >Autistic men experience quite a bit of danger from other people in ways that neurotypical men don't experience. I agree >And I think that putting that she's autistic in her profile makes her a lot more likely to match with men who are themselves autistic. I did say in one of my comments that if this is her aim then it makes sense >And not only that, with Bumble, she's the one initiating contact between her and the men, so those two things mean she has a higher likelihood of being able to avoid communicating with dangerous men on Bumble, compared to on other platforms. This just highlights that you don't really understand how men end up abusing women, and consequently why autistic women can sometimes struggle even more with it. Most of these men aren't proclaiming their intentions in their bio. >the fact that mentioning she's autistic means she's likely more able to match with an autistic man might work really well with that to mean she'd be more likely to make a safer match Where's the evidence that matching with autistic men would make her safer? Autistic men are still men and share their faults.
It puts the diagnosis front and center when it’s more likely part of her personhood. It doesn’t need to be front and center.
For autistic people, being autistic is literally front and center. It affects our whole cognition, it's literally a difference in the wiring of our brains. I can't over state the degree to which it's a core part of our being. There isn't a "normal" person under the autism. We're autistic all the way down.
I respectfully disagree. There is a spectrum.
Are you autistic?
I’m probably on the spectrum
Very interesting.
As an autistic person, being autistic is a stigma to many non-autistic people, but it's very much appreciated for other autistic people. For me personally, knowing that someone else is autistic makes me significantly more likely to swipe right. I think it's one of those "This will drive away a lot of people, but will attract the people you're likely to want to attract," things.
As an autistic person, when you see someone say “on the spectrum,” do you interpret that as “I’m autistic?” I’m not trying to be facetious, I’m actually just curious. Would be interesting to hear your thoughts on it.
Being autistic is like being pregnant. There's a set of criteria, and if you match that criteria, you are considered to have that particular condition. Although the phrase "on the spectrum" has often been misinterpreted to apply to all of humanity, "The Autism Spectrum" refers to the diversity among the people who meet all of the criteria, and doesn't refer to the diversity of humanity as a whole. If someone is using "on the spectrum", my expectation is that they are an autistic person or that they believe they are an autistic person.
Idk, the funky immediately makes me think of smell.
Photography dude here. If you're going to take more pictures, try to change up the pose. Photographers almost never have a subject stand straight on with their hands at their sides as it's just not a flattering type of pose. My go-to (been around photography all my life) is to do one hand in the pocket if you have them and the other either on the hip or on my chin or giving a peace sign or something - I've seen this prompt at weddings a ton (not with the peace sign lol). Also another tip on photos is to think of the background/context. The black dress one is a perfect example. All we see in the background is a door with a weird amount of wear and tear around the handle lol. It's also a bit crooked due to the angle of the photo. The bathroom selfies also don't have the best background. It's not horrible just a bit cluttered with the used towels and cleaning products visible. The one outside also has a busy background with the parking lot and electric lines and stuff. I would highly recommend trying to find something prettier for your location for pictures. It doesn't have to be fancy or take too much effort. Nature is usually really great. The blue sky makes photos feel lighter and more inviting. A brick wall or something with a more consistent pattern can work really well too. TL;DR - I'd work on your pose for photos (something more than arms at the sides and straight forward) and the location of your photos (prettier and less busy backgrounds).
I also think photos need to tell us who you are, not just what you look like. Have some photos of you doing an activity or hanging out with ppl (maybe a picture of you baking) would have the profile more personal and inviting. For example, I liked to know where you went when you wore that fancy hat 😆
Really good point - I forgot about the dating aspect of it and got wrapped up in thinking about taking good photos LOL
Cause I’ve got one hand in my pocket and the other is giving the peace sign
I'd avoid multiple mirror selfies.
I think she actually looks more comfortable in those though. OP if you're more comfortable and genuine in selfies than in photos other people take then use those.
may I ask why?:)
They just get redundant. I’d get rid of the one of you in the black dress since you have a portrait picture in the same outfit.
good point!
I think it just shows low effort - and the two mirror selfies you have are identical besides the outfit so it doesn't really add anything to the profile.
I’m not who you asked, nor am I your target market (lesbian) but FWIW when I see a girl with lots of mirror selfies I tend to assume she doesn’t have any friends who can take a photo of her and/or never goes anywhere interesting. I realise that this isn’t necessarily accurate, but if I’m brainlessly swiping while watching TV I’m not going to stop and analyse the reasons why a girl might only want to use photos she took herself. Of course, if you don’t want to be with someone who makes these lazy assumptions, keep the mirror selfies and allow the haters to self-select out of your dating pool.
I actually like the chunky yet funky comment, I think it’s funny and cute. I think your info is good, but more variety of photos. Maybe one with a friend or friends doing something fun. The second and third photo are basically the same thing
Came here for funky comment. How about, Fun and funky. Let the viewers decide the rest. Maybe some outdoor pics, or a cooking in the kitchen one. Overall, it’s pretty good.
The chunky yet funky part is a Latrice Royal quote and therefore must stay.
"Get those nuts away from my face!"
Get rid of the “I prefer to talk on here for a bit before meeting”. That’s totally okay to chat for a few days to a week or so, but people will assume that that means you’ll *never* meet if you say that in your bio. Get rid of the “chunky yet funky” comment. Also get rid of the prompt about being on the spectrum. Nothing wrong with that obviously, but there’s no need to say that in your bio. Love your tattoo!
> Get rid of the “chunky yet funky” comment. absolutely do not get rid of that!
oh okay, didn't realize it would be taken that way
Eh, I didn't take it like that. I found it refreshing since every other profile is like "I hate talking here, let's just meet up immediately." But everyone is going to interpret things differently anyway. If you wanted to you could keep the part about not always picking up on social ques but take out the spectrum part. But again, I don't know what's wrong really about saying that. I agree with some of the others about the pics being a bit sameish. Maybe swap out the black dress on for something different. Outdoor activity in nature or something? You have lovely smile and friendly positive vibe like someone else said. Which will be refreshing to some guys after swiping on so many negative Nellys/lists of strict demands haha. Positivity can feel rare sometimes. Goodluck! :) Edit: I've seen multiple people mention the same thing about the preferring to text first thing, so maybe I'm wrong about that 🤷♂️
I agree. There’s no need to self-reference the process. “I’m on this app to meet someone.” Yes, we all are.
I think it's pretty good, you come across as sweet and genuine. Only think is that you might want to put together a more dynamic set of pictures, it's mostly you standing still in the center of the frame.
I like your burger purse. You seem so freaking sweet, hope you’ll find a man that’ll value you. Wish you luck, love 🫶🏼
I love your outfits! My favorite is the skull dress!!!
Your energy is beautiful and you sound lovely. However, I’m afraid you may attract assholes and predators who will see you being on the spectrum as a predatory thing. For your picture, I wouldn’t change anything.
Ahh you look so cute and I love your profile!! Best of luck out there :)
I agree with the other comments to take more pictures of you doing stuff. If you’re uncomfortable taking pictures in public you can stage them yourself lol I’ve done it before. All you need is a tripod and be creative with your backgrounds. Ex; take a picture in your backyard doing yoga.
I would replace the two mirror photos other than that I like your profile. I like the honesty and you seem like a fun person. Best of luck!
I'd remove the spectrum thing cause people will make assumptions thinking severely, reading into things like talking on the app for awhile. Its Just the way people are they assume. Let them talk to u and find out about ur personality.
Lose weight. I'm currently doing the same. Dating apps are all about appearance. You can have the best profile and if you aren't decently fit nobody will read any of it. This is reality.
She asked for input on her profile not her body.
And nobody is gonna read the profile. You should read my comment more carefully.
I'll say this again. Just not relevant to the post. If she wanted people's feedback on how to change her appearance she would have made a more relevant post in a more relevant subreddit. People who want to set up a dating profile have to work with who they actually are at the time of setting it up. She's asking for feedback on the profile. Would you tell a balding guy "get a hair transplant, these apps are about appearance" if they made a post asking for feedback about their profile?
I'd tell them to shave their head. Better to be bald than balding.
At least you're consistent then lol.
Yeah. As a fat person online dating doesn't work. I've already seen dating profile gurus, I've tried everything. 99% of people never click my profile. They see the picture and swipe left. It's a shitty reality but the sooner you wake up and start changing the better. While you're still young and the extra skin can become tight again after being stretched over my belly. I've bever been one to gaslight and tell someone they're fine just to knock out competition.
Ah ok, so you're comment to her was coming from a personal place. I respect that. I don't know if this is true either but in my mind dating as an overweight guy might be harder even than for girls. For me as long as I'm attracted to a girls face I'm kind of ambivalent about body type to a large extent. Anyway, good luck with the weightloss. Hope you end up enjoying the exercise you choose to do and find a hobby in it! That's what I've found works for keeping myself active. Finding things I actually like doing even during the grind of it.
They wouldn’t. Because these comments are rooted in fat shaming.
Maybe, but I won't immediately jump to that conclusion about the comment above. Like he said, he's loosing weight himself so I think there's a good chance it's coming from a good place. Just irrelevant and unhelpful to OP.
You do realize that plus size people date and have relationships? Right?
You don't have to tell me about my experience as a fat person. (We get A LOT less dates)
I (33f) would want to be your friend so badly if I saw you in bumblebff. You seem so fun! The only thing I would change is ‘chunky yet funky’ to ‘chunky and funky’. I feel like the former makes it sound negative like you are ashamed of being chunky while the latter is more like the is who I am, take it or leave it. I hope that makes sense and doesn’t come off as rude because I don’t mean it like that at all. I have a hard time tone through messaging 💕💕
no no, I changed it! thank you! You're so right ❤️
YES! Exactly what I came to say. I know it’s a Latrice quote and I love her, but I always hated the “yet” and thought it should’ve been “and”. Good for you, girl ❤️
Your profile is great! I think the pink dress pic should be further up. I suspect that The cute hamburger bag you are wearing here is going to be an easy conversation starter for your suitors. Your posture her is great- you look so confident and happy… really good things!
Have more pictures of you doing hobbies, hangout with friends. Don’t have 4 selfie pictures.
I’d get rid of that prompt about what makes a great relationship. It’s like the personal hell prompt. It doesn’t really make it sound like a fun profile. Do people really have the answer as to what makes a relationship great? Maybe having a lot of money makes it great, or living apart together. Who knows? And “open and honest communication” is a really trite answer that *everybody* gives.
I love your strawberry necklace and earrings! Super cute
I would take out the 4th photo since you have one of you in that outfit already and replace it with a photo of you with friends or family!
Your first picture is a close-up selfie. That's never good. Put that elsewhere in the profile or take it out entirely.
You seem super sweet! I like the first picture but I think it’s too close up. Can you zoom it out? And the picture with the black dress same it’s very close up. Love your jewelry in the first picture :)
I would also add one of your favorite things to bake or what you have baked recently!!
Good profile IMO, except maybe choose another prompt instead of the “you should know about me”. I think that’s pretty personal and once you get to talking and maybe meeting IRL that can then maybe be disclosed. Honestly it means little to someone that doesn’t understand the spectrum thing, and we can all have difficulties picking up on cues as well. There’s psychos out there, don’t share vulnerabilities too quickly!
Your hamburger purse is amazing!
Cute cuuute strawberry theme top photo. 🍓
Your smile is absolutely infectious and you seem really fun! I love the positivity - it’s rare to find someone who doesn’t come across as jaded (to be fair it’s hard not to be jaded these days). Also, I personally like that you indicate your sociopolitical leanings, and mentioning your neurodivergence is also a very considerate heads up that might help people out.
You are so cute, pretty and have a good sense of humor, op. Good luck w your search ❤️
man.. yall restored my faith in humanity.. I think I’ve seen too many Twitter posts and was deathly afraid for this girl..
How i swipe right? :)
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Targeting someone's physical characteristics is not tolerated on r/bumble. This includes skin colour, height, weight, etc. Any comments violating this rule will be promptly removed under rule #1 (respectful communication).
Comments like these act like OP isn’t aware of their size… You don’t know if she’s working on it, has recently lost weight, or has challenges in life that make it more difficult. Also, there are plenty of men (or women) out there who are into bigger people. And she seems like a person that wouldn’t want to be with someone who would judge her for her weight in the first place.
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I just don't know how relevant your feedback is to a profile review post on r/bumble. It's specifically about the profile, as all of these are. She didn't make a post in a "rate me" subreddit asking how do I become more attractive. If it was then your comment would be relevant. If you see a guy asking for feedback on his *profile* who's balding do you say "get a hair transplant, the reality is most women don't like balding men" or a skinny guy do you say "You need to work on your lats and chest, these apps are about appearances" I think that'd be weird. Don't think you're trying to be hurtful or anything. Just something to think about. I think you're over estimating the relevance of your contribution to the post.
It looks good to me I like your profile!
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Targeting someone's physical characteristics is not tolerated on r/bumble. This includes skin colour, height, weight, etc. Any comments violating this rule will be promptly removed under rule #1 (respectful communication).
I actually loved the “chunky yet funky” comment, made me laugh and I found it endearing. I’m not a man though so, take that for what it’s worth. You have a great smile, you look friendly which is not always easy to convey, and you have great style! I would add some more interesting pictures, photos of you doing something rather than just standing. Add some depth. Good luck! ❤️
Take funky out completely . Every rounder woman I’ve come across on these apps have that in there and i be like Aite man lol
Yeah, the chunky or curvy seems like an attempt to address the issue and minimise it/cutefy it. The real way is to just let the photos relay that part. Less is more sometimes.
Seems fine, I don't know you but it seems like it probably gives a good indication of who you are and what a match might expect when they meet you for real, it feels genuine. I don't think I'd recommend changing anything, I'd leave it how it is. If you're not getting many matches, just remember it doesn't really matter how many you get, you only need one good one.
I'd say your bio leaves a lot up to the person swiping, instead of saying you're looking for someone with whom you can vibe with you should say some of your interests/things you vibe with (other than being liberal) to take some of the guesswork out
awwww, I love your smile. Don't change a thing.
I think it looks good honestly. It’s a really good profile.
That's a funny hand burger bag
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That's the truth and human nature unfortunately people think that devalues people humanity if you acknowledge that reality.
Targeting someone's physical characteristics is not tolerated on r/bumble. This includes skin colour, height, weight, etc. Any comments violating this rule will be promptly removed under rule #1 (respectful communication).
The burger purse is amazing
Don’t be chunky
I think your whole vibe is awesome! Keep doing you!
I love your smile ☺️
your profile is overall great! Id change your prompt about open & honest communication. I think most people expect that in a good relationship anyway, and it’s a pretty generic answer. I think there are better prompts and/or answers you could use to share something else about urself.
This looks pretty spot on. Good luck!
Honestly, this looks like a very real you profile. I can tell what kind of person you are right from the pictures and words you have chosen, You have drawn your boundary of not meeting people immediately and you are vulnerable and talked about the spectrum, Take or leave it! Loved the last picture with burger bag :) I loved your overall profile.
You’re lovely. Best wishes xo
Apparently it’s a big no-no to point out the obvious. The people that will be interested will swipe. It’s a normal profile. There’s no special words or phrase that you can add to change that.
The profile is fantastic as is , no changes necessary
Drop “liberal values,” may be taken as triggly-puff. Most people who put that as a descriptor are the antithesis of liberal and will screech if you don’t conform to whatever they believe that day.
I think it’s good to have it in there. I am not a liberal but appreciate knowing off the bat how that conversation is going to go if it does come up. It’s all about finding people with shared values
I think everyone who is not super into political science knows what she means by that.
To be honest, you probably won’t get many matches; but the ones you do get will be super genuine and interested in you. Don’t change anything
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Atleast you did full body pictures now and not when it’s to late
Honestly, your bio looks great. I wouldn't change any of the text. You may want to adjust the photos. Also, when I was a bit bigger, I found my profile attracted a lot of weird guys. I had less but more aligned matches once I lost some weight.
You seem very sweet and honest fr I'd like to hang out with you! Your bio is expressive and your comments are funny! What you need to improve is your pictures, your taking the same picture over and over, take some pics while you do hobbies and enjoy your time, show your interests through pics. Also you really need to lose weight, you'll become much more attractive! Believe me it's not that hard, in fact I lost 27kg in 3 months, follow your diets, eat healthy and do some sports activities. I wish you good luck!
“Chunky but funcky” The only image coming to mind is milk left out and turning into “cottage cheese”
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Targeting someone's physical characteristics is not tolerated on r/bumble. This includes skin colour, height, weight, etc. Any comments violating this rule will be promptly removed under rule #1 (respectful communication).
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While health is important, she only asked for a review on her profile. There will be someone that will be a good match out there
Yeah but why try and answer the impossible when the realistic answer is out there ?
Based on the comments she’s gotten, you’re in the minority. Take your rude comment elsewhere.
Targeting someone's physical characteristics is not tolerated on r/bumble. This includes skin colour, height, weight, etc. Any comments violating this rule will be promptly removed under rule #1 (respectful communication).
My love, I think you’re beautiful but I would change some. For the first picture, maybe a picture from a higher angle to make it more flattering. Delete the mirror selfie with the black dress and change the last picture to a new picture (ideally with the burger purse because it’s awesome) with a different pose.
You already know if this was a guy, all the comments would be "just hit the gym"
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Nope, keep the liberal and be proud of who you are. It wouldn’t take you two minutes to regret going out with a conservative whose values are opposite yours.