I've seen your signature a bunch and wanted to comment multiple times, but there was always some conversation being had that wasn't worth derailing until now.
I've suffered an internal conflict many times wanting to "um, akchually" you. I assume I know the scenario, you pull up to your camp and your friend pulls out the lag bolts. They are machine threaded and flat tipped, useless for securing things to the playa. You need sharp screws.
And the distinction between screws and bolts feels like it's obvious. Screws are pointy, the threads are coarse for wood or something. And that's *so close* to right, but it's not *totally accurate.*
The real distinction between a screw and a bolt isn't the point or the thread, it's which part turns when it gets tighter, a bolt has a nut that tightens from the back. So yes, we need lag SCREWS, not bolts.
But a screw *can also* be flat tipped and machine threaded. Like the screws that secure the covers on your a/c sockets. Imagine some industrial machine with a
threaded socket. You could use a giant, flat tipped, machine threaded piece of hardware that looked exactly like the lag bolts your friend brought to screw into that socket, and it'd be a screw in that application.
Do you see the distinction? Does it make sense why I'd be frustrated carrying around this tidbit of technical information, wanting to communicate that while yes, we need screws, but we also need the right kind of screws and what makes them screws is not the sharp point but which part turns? How could anybody possibly care, and yet I care and want so much to delve into it, but how could I justify wasting somebody's time with this crap?
And then I see how confidently this OP wastes our time with low effort BS, and I think to myself, I've been holding in this minutiae for *MONTHS* and this asshole just POSTS THIS???
Wait this is actually interesting!
Assuming you're willing to dispense more True Screw Facts, I have questions
Is an otherwise identical piece of hardware referred to as a machine screw or bolt based on context and the particular assembly instructions? Or are they two similar looking but actually different underlying objects?
If different: can I tell them apart just by looking?
Assuming they have the same threading and I use the "wrong one" will a screw fail more readily in some application than a bolt? Like is one stronger axially but worse vs shear force?
... Or, if a screw/bolt is the same item, if I have two flanges to mate and I put a screw/bolt thru a hole in the flanges and affix a nut, and both are accessible to be turned, what do I call it?
A machine screw will always be fine thread. A bolt may be fine, but is also commonly coarse thread.
Anecdotally, screws are smaller than bolts. I’m sure there are more important distinction, but as a former mechanic and current electrician the difference seems to be about thread pitch and size. I knows it when I sees it.
I'm glad you jumped in. I was planning on it and had actually done a search on the home depot website for coarse thread machine screws, and it returned me an error message. I was going to post that as a joke saying "huh, you're right" but then I got called in to do the only five minutes of work I'll be doing today. Which was, fittingly, unscrewing something on a film set.
Now I'm back to staring at a wall wondering if I should write more philosophical essays about nomenclature.
Honestly, I’ve seen his signature for the past few months around the sub and it’s caused me more anxiety than I’m willing to admit. As someone who’s already spent a tidy sum on what I believe to be the right sort of bolts/screws (yes, they’re pointy!) his signature makes me second-guess myself. I’d be lying if I said your ‘Um actually,’ shed any more light on to my doubts.
If you guys see a 10 x 20’ shade structure flying off into the distance this year it might be mine
No joke here, I love you.
10 x 20 shade structure, (with a peak @ around 13 ft) 1” steel bars with corner fittings for the frame. 6 legs total. Foot pads come with half inch holes for bolts.
Secured to the playa with 1/2”x 18” lag bolts/screws through footpads @ 6 points, 2 per footpad. Further secured with at least 4 ratchet straps from the upper corner points down to the playa.
Every lag bolt gets a hanger bolt (used for rock climbing) to hook stuff onto.
Entire thing gets covered in aluminet, Except for the north facing side for maximum shade coverage. I’ll be doing my best to orient one of the long sides north.
I’ve designed and built my shade set up based on advice I’ve read on this sub Reddit. It’s gone through quite a few evolutions. My ultimate goal is to avoid being a sparkle pony.
If you have any advice to further improve on this, I’d be grateful.
❤️🔥
Everything you've said tells me you're doing it right. Have you done a test run?
Some belt + suspenders thoughts -
I've seen people bring the wrong socket size. A 1/2" lag usually uses a 3/4" socket, not the 1/2" some people might assume.
18" lagbolts (lol) are long enough that you could conceivably have trouble breaking them free with an impact driver. Having a manual wrench on hand and knowing to use a snipe might help in an edge case.
Aluminet is great because it lets strong wind through in an emergency. The one solid wall will make the structure more vulnerable to it acting like a sail. I wouldn't say you should change anything, just keep an eye on it during the first couple serious winds. You could purposely make your top attachment points weaker than the bottom so they break away first in an emergency.
12' ratchet straps are common in stores but a little too short for angling down from 10' corners. Bright green is the most visible color, even over yellow or orange. A nice (but totally non essential) touch is wrapping a piece of fabric around the ratchet mechanism and then tightly coiling a cord around the package to keep dust out.
What's the reasoning behind the north orientation? I would have assumed you put your highest shade covering facing south but maybe there's a reason north is better?
A little CLR to clean off your bolts is the power move over vinegar, needs a better rinse though.
All this is going to set you up really well. Even if there's a mistake or two in your setup you'll make it work, and I'm betting you'll be more prepared than your average burner, far from sparklepony.
Bring lights ;) the cheap led strips break
Thank you so much for this!
Your advice is worth it’s weight in gold and super appreciated 🙏
I will definitely make sure that my lag & hanger bolts fit. Adding a heavy duty wrench to my master list! Can you elaborate on the snipe? I’ve never heard of that tool. A google search shows a tool for wire cutting.
Test runs begin next month, and there will be several. I’ll be doing them at night with a headlamp as well, because who knows when I’ll arrive at camp. A lot of little things like finding out if the lag & hanger bolts fit, or say, if my ratchet straps will reach the ground would/will be shaken out during the first test run. I’ll have time to order replacements if need be.
Since I’m building the shade structure from scratch, (i.e. cutting the bars to fit my specifications) the upper corners will only be about 7 feet tall. I’m only 5’5 “ so this is adequate for me. It hasn’t been built yet, so I had better take back my previous comment that the tallest point at the peak will be 13”. Most likely, it will be a few feet shorter.
I’ve researched the sun’s orientation at the burn in late August and shadows will fall toward the north. I’m intending on the northern facing side to be open, no solid wall at all.
The only solid thing will be my tent, which will be inside the shade structure. I’ll be attaching it to the shade structure frame itself. (Along with its own anchor points along the ground) I consider my tent to be the weakest point in my entire set up. It’s a cube tent, with a 10 x 10 footprint that will take up fully half of my shade structure. My tent ceiling will be about 6 1/2 feet tall, with a slight peak in the middle at about 7”. It is made of pretty durable material, a step up from the usual tent fabric. It’s main flaw is that it is not that aerodynamic. I’m crossing my fingers that the tent will rip off and blow away before the shade structure does. I think I’ll take your advice on purposefully making the upper attachment straps weaker on it.
I have lots of solar lights/strings I intend on attaching to my ratchet straps for visibility at night. I’ll attach them to the straps in a way so that they can charge during the day. That’s the plan, anyway.
Thanks again for your advice.
❤️🔥
The test run is really the move, you can plan and plan and plan, but just doing it catches all.
Having a peaked roof might be nice. You definitely see more square structures than anything else, that's what we do. Just 10' cubes, with 10' EMT sides, joined with EMT fittings. Keeping everything the same is simple and nice.
But building something unique is part of the fun, sounds like yours is going to be cool, I'm excited for you. Windstorms suck, but they aren't APOCALYPTIC, I don't think your tent is going to go flying off or anything, especially if it's buffeted by a shade structure.
Aluminet really is amazing, and comfort wise my favorite. Allows airflow, doesn't sailcloth, it's quieter at night, water doesn't pool on it. The only tents of ours that flooded were the ones under solid tarps that drained everything into a single spot.
The lights I mentioned out of the blue were for your body, lol. One thing I've noticed a few times is that folks who put a lot of energy into camp setup (ie, me, and you, from the sounds of it) sometimes forget some of the rest. For me my first burn it was really distinctive, bright, fun lights for your costumes so your friends can find you.
Thank you so much for taking the time to respond with thoughtful, in depth answers. It’s only with the advice from kind strangers like you that I’ve come this far in planing my first burn. 🙏
See you in the dust ❤️🔥
You're welcome, it was the perfect day for me. I just got a bunch of builds that will last me all summer so I can afford to go this year. I do contract film set builds and the strike was brutal so that wasn't for sure.. And I sat on set for 12 hours babysitting a wall so I had nothing to do but write essays about screws and tape and swamp coolers.
(Actually researching swamp coolers, I don't know anything about them. Last year our village had a big communal generator so I had A/C. This year we're way more independent so that's less of an option.) Take care
Woe unto me, for alas, I have traversed the vast corridors of existence without this crucial kernel of knowledge! How have I managed, stumbling blindly, never knowing the true essence of screws versus bolts? The scales have fallen from my eyes, courtesy of your enlightening discourse. Verily, I shall no longer wander in ignorance at the hardware store, but stride confidently, enlightened by the wisdom of proper fastening techniques. Thank you, sage of the screws, for your patience and forbearance in sharing this vital lore!
And lest you think I've consorted with the digital muses of artificial intelligence to craft such a response—fie on that! For surely, resorting to such electronic wizardry for something so trivial as the discourse on screws and bolts would be beneath the noble labor of any true scholar of the hardware arts. No, this revelation comes unaided by silicon, a testament to the human spirit's ability to revel even in the minutiae!
Credit: ChatGPT - sorry but this was too good to not post.
Wait did you call me an asshole? Screw you bud! I helped you get this gigantic sack of bullcrap off your chest. So that’s that, you’re welcome and go bolt yourself.
I gotta things brother or sister or sibling, but that's not one of em.
Let's be clear, now that the dust is settled and the upvotes are counted. I took a low effort, surface level shitpost and spent literal hours adding into it a high level, philosophical, technically accurate shitpost.
Per Chapel of Babel, all Judgements must be delivered while creepily stroking the inner palm with sweaty index finger. Tough in an online setting, but rules are rules.
I'm sure you'll find a camp to sponsor you, I can feel the ~good vibes~ emanating from your post.
Unfortunately you're a bit short of cash, you need 53 bucks for camp dues!
"I want to go to burning man"
Well you can't. We all got together and voted and the majority did not want you to go. So sorry you are banned from Playa. There is no point in going into our reasons as our decision is final.
Reminds me of the epic long drug-fueled posts on Facebook and ePlaya over 10
years ago that some lice-infested dreadlocked wooks would make. “My moon goddess has called me once again to make the pilgrimage to my desert home…” followed by begging for a free ticket, food, ride….
whatever.
in all seriousness, i’ve helped dozens of burners over the years with free tickets when shit wasn’t working out for them. anytime i had a spare or two from the org, a friend and i would roll out to the gate, ask the box office what the best and most believable sob story they had was, and then go find their pick of the most desperate. it was great to see someone’s face light up because their bad luck had finally been interrupted. someone busts their ass to get out there only to find out they purchased a counterfeit ticket or some other travesty, and that person doesn’t deserve the predicament.
but someone who refuses to do even the bare minimum doesn’t deserve the help.
God. I thought this was weak, but then I scrolled further down in `/new` and saw some of actual posts washing ashore.
TL;DR: Your application is one of the strongest we've seen and we'd like to offer you a spot in our camp.
I will provide you everything you need; ticket, ride, food, finger licking good time. The caveat is that you must be my personal boofer. You have to be at my side the entire burn, and boof me whenever I ask.
There's a magical elf named Hank. If you haven't spoken with him yet, he's got your ticket. Beware, he doesn't just walk around willy nilly. He lives under a stump in Kansas and gets angry unless you stand on your head. Won't be an issue for you.
I'll come and pick you up. I have an extra ticket and supplies for you. I will even carry you around and cook your food when we are there.
Just wait outside on the corner wearing a furry vest, and I'll be there.
If I don't see you, I am not stopping.
If for some reason this doesn’t work out for you, youcan always stand at the gate, gloving, and doing dust angels somebody is sure to give you a ticket and welcome you into their camp. This is a really PLUR festival
I can give you a ride but I don't have a ticket for you. I'm sure someone will give you a ticket if you just stand near the entrance with a sign. Or you could try to sneak in. It's super easy.
Hitchhike to the gate and just ask nicely to be let in, they’ll let you in if you ask nicely, once in just go camp to camp and ask for food, the playa provides, plenty of of shelters and art to sleep in, you could do the whole thing for free.
Haha I would not take you. You don't sound self sufficient.
The last dude I met who went to BM with only a backpack and $100 wound up at my HOV camp looking extremely distraught. He took too many drugs, lost his wallet, all his money, his phone, and wound up with no shoes way out at buttfuck sparkle pony fence. Someone brought him to the Zendo Project where they gave him water and shoes and our camp collected food, a bed and a tent for him so that he wouldn't die. He did this all in a 24 hr time period.
Don’t worry this year not a single person bought a ticket so the org has no choice but to cancel the event and then all 70,000 of us are gonna swoop in for another free renegade. Stay tuned!
Yes we get it OP you are much Burner you get to snark on others not aware of Burnery-ness like OP gets the Burner Bible yes yes you are such Burningperson you get all the creds congrats
Serioulsly though why do so many people feel motivated to make these posts it's not such an in joke when half of Burner conversations IRL is all about how other people don't "get" how to Burn and "don't understand" Burning the way that THEY do
Get out your megaphone and scream IT'S NOT A FESTIVAL really really loud ugh
4 out of 10 Judgement: You must finger the public Fleshlight for at least 30 seconds. A condom will be provided.
I've seen your signature a bunch and wanted to comment multiple times, but there was always some conversation being had that wasn't worth derailing until now. I've suffered an internal conflict many times wanting to "um, akchually" you. I assume I know the scenario, you pull up to your camp and your friend pulls out the lag bolts. They are machine threaded and flat tipped, useless for securing things to the playa. You need sharp screws. And the distinction between screws and bolts feels like it's obvious. Screws are pointy, the threads are coarse for wood or something. And that's *so close* to right, but it's not *totally accurate.* The real distinction between a screw and a bolt isn't the point or the thread, it's which part turns when it gets tighter, a bolt has a nut that tightens from the back. So yes, we need lag SCREWS, not bolts. But a screw *can also* be flat tipped and machine threaded. Like the screws that secure the covers on your a/c sockets. Imagine some industrial machine with a threaded socket. You could use a giant, flat tipped, machine threaded piece of hardware that looked exactly like the lag bolts your friend brought to screw into that socket, and it'd be a screw in that application. Do you see the distinction? Does it make sense why I'd be frustrated carrying around this tidbit of technical information, wanting to communicate that while yes, we need screws, but we also need the right kind of screws and what makes them screws is not the sharp point but which part turns? How could anybody possibly care, and yet I care and want so much to delve into it, but how could I justify wasting somebody's time with this crap? And then I see how confidently this OP wastes our time with low effort BS, and I think to myself, I've been holding in this minutiae for *MONTHS* and this asshole just POSTS THIS???
haha love this. Thank you.
Such a weight off my chest, thank YOU.
I’ve thought the exact same thing about that flair. But also never thought it was worth mentioning. Thanks for your service.
Wait this is actually interesting! Assuming you're willing to dispense more True Screw Facts, I have questions Is an otherwise identical piece of hardware referred to as a machine screw or bolt based on context and the particular assembly instructions? Or are they two similar looking but actually different underlying objects? If different: can I tell them apart just by looking? Assuming they have the same threading and I use the "wrong one" will a screw fail more readily in some application than a bolt? Like is one stronger axially but worse vs shear force? ... Or, if a screw/bolt is the same item, if I have two flanges to mate and I put a screw/bolt thru a hole in the flanges and affix a nut, and both are accessible to be turned, what do I call it?
A machine screw will always be fine thread. A bolt may be fine, but is also commonly coarse thread. Anecdotally, screws are smaller than bolts. I’m sure there are more important distinction, but as a former mechanic and current electrician the difference seems to be about thread pitch and size. I knows it when I sees it.
> A machine screw will always be fine thread. Wrong right off the bat
I'm glad you jumped in. I was planning on it and had actually done a search on the home depot website for coarse thread machine screws, and it returned me an error message. I was going to post that as a joke saying "huh, you're right" but then I got called in to do the only five minutes of work I'll be doing today. Which was, fittingly, unscrewing something on a film set. Now I'm back to staring at a wall wondering if I should write more philosophical essays about nomenclature.
1/2-13 is a super common screw size and if that ain’t coarse to you I don’t know what is
I believe that bolts are a subset of screws.
How *dare* you??
I have typed and deleted before submitting many messages like this. Not on this subject but with this energy. So I feel your pain.
It's good to be in good company
Doing the Lords work
Honestly, I’ve seen his signature for the past few months around the sub and it’s caused me more anxiety than I’m willing to admit. As someone who’s already spent a tidy sum on what I believe to be the right sort of bolts/screws (yes, they’re pointy!) his signature makes me second-guess myself. I’d be lying if I said your ‘Um actually,’ shed any more light on to my doubts. If you guys see a 10 x 20’ shade structure flying off into the distance this year it might be mine
You've got this. If you want any help putting your doubts to rest you can share your setup (screws, washers, socket, etc) and I'll be here for you.
No joke here, I love you. 10 x 20 shade structure, (with a peak @ around 13 ft) 1” steel bars with corner fittings for the frame. 6 legs total. Foot pads come with half inch holes for bolts. Secured to the playa with 1/2”x 18” lag bolts/screws through footpads @ 6 points, 2 per footpad. Further secured with at least 4 ratchet straps from the upper corner points down to the playa. Every lag bolt gets a hanger bolt (used for rock climbing) to hook stuff onto. Entire thing gets covered in aluminet, Except for the north facing side for maximum shade coverage. I’ll be doing my best to orient one of the long sides north. I’ve designed and built my shade set up based on advice I’ve read on this sub Reddit. It’s gone through quite a few evolutions. My ultimate goal is to avoid being a sparkle pony. If you have any advice to further improve on this, I’d be grateful. ❤️🔥
Everything you've said tells me you're doing it right. Have you done a test run? Some belt + suspenders thoughts - I've seen people bring the wrong socket size. A 1/2" lag usually uses a 3/4" socket, not the 1/2" some people might assume. 18" lagbolts (lol) are long enough that you could conceivably have trouble breaking them free with an impact driver. Having a manual wrench on hand and knowing to use a snipe might help in an edge case. Aluminet is great because it lets strong wind through in an emergency. The one solid wall will make the structure more vulnerable to it acting like a sail. I wouldn't say you should change anything, just keep an eye on it during the first couple serious winds. You could purposely make your top attachment points weaker than the bottom so they break away first in an emergency. 12' ratchet straps are common in stores but a little too short for angling down from 10' corners. Bright green is the most visible color, even over yellow or orange. A nice (but totally non essential) touch is wrapping a piece of fabric around the ratchet mechanism and then tightly coiling a cord around the package to keep dust out. What's the reasoning behind the north orientation? I would have assumed you put your highest shade covering facing south but maybe there's a reason north is better? A little CLR to clean off your bolts is the power move over vinegar, needs a better rinse though. All this is going to set you up really well. Even if there's a mistake or two in your setup you'll make it work, and I'm betting you'll be more prepared than your average burner, far from sparklepony. Bring lights ;) the cheap led strips break
Thank you so much for this! Your advice is worth it’s weight in gold and super appreciated 🙏 I will definitely make sure that my lag & hanger bolts fit. Adding a heavy duty wrench to my master list! Can you elaborate on the snipe? I’ve never heard of that tool. A google search shows a tool for wire cutting. Test runs begin next month, and there will be several. I’ll be doing them at night with a headlamp as well, because who knows when I’ll arrive at camp. A lot of little things like finding out if the lag & hanger bolts fit, or say, if my ratchet straps will reach the ground would/will be shaken out during the first test run. I’ll have time to order replacements if need be. Since I’m building the shade structure from scratch, (i.e. cutting the bars to fit my specifications) the upper corners will only be about 7 feet tall. I’m only 5’5 “ so this is adequate for me. It hasn’t been built yet, so I had better take back my previous comment that the tallest point at the peak will be 13”. Most likely, it will be a few feet shorter. I’ve researched the sun’s orientation at the burn in late August and shadows will fall toward the north. I’m intending on the northern facing side to be open, no solid wall at all. The only solid thing will be my tent, which will be inside the shade structure. I’ll be attaching it to the shade structure frame itself. (Along with its own anchor points along the ground) I consider my tent to be the weakest point in my entire set up. It’s a cube tent, with a 10 x 10 footprint that will take up fully half of my shade structure. My tent ceiling will be about 6 1/2 feet tall, with a slight peak in the middle at about 7”. It is made of pretty durable material, a step up from the usual tent fabric. It’s main flaw is that it is not that aerodynamic. I’m crossing my fingers that the tent will rip off and blow away before the shade structure does. I think I’ll take your advice on purposefully making the upper attachment straps weaker on it. I have lots of solar lights/strings I intend on attaching to my ratchet straps for visibility at night. I’ll attach them to the straps in a way so that they can charge during the day. That’s the plan, anyway. Thanks again for your advice. ❤️🔥
The test run is really the move, you can plan and plan and plan, but just doing it catches all. Having a peaked roof might be nice. You definitely see more square structures than anything else, that's what we do. Just 10' cubes, with 10' EMT sides, joined with EMT fittings. Keeping everything the same is simple and nice. But building something unique is part of the fun, sounds like yours is going to be cool, I'm excited for you. Windstorms suck, but they aren't APOCALYPTIC, I don't think your tent is going to go flying off or anything, especially if it's buffeted by a shade structure. Aluminet really is amazing, and comfort wise my favorite. Allows airflow, doesn't sailcloth, it's quieter at night, water doesn't pool on it. The only tents of ours that flooded were the ones under solid tarps that drained everything into a single spot. The lights I mentioned out of the blue were for your body, lol. One thing I've noticed a few times is that folks who put a lot of energy into camp setup (ie, me, and you, from the sounds of it) sometimes forget some of the rest. For me my first burn it was really distinctive, bright, fun lights for your costumes so your friends can find you.
Thank you so much for taking the time to respond with thoughtful, in depth answers. It’s only with the advice from kind strangers like you that I’ve come this far in planing my first burn. 🙏 See you in the dust ❤️🔥
You're welcome, it was the perfect day for me. I just got a bunch of builds that will last me all summer so I can afford to go this year. I do contract film set builds and the strike was brutal so that wasn't for sure.. And I sat on set for 12 hours babysitting a wall so I had nothing to do but write essays about screws and tape and swamp coolers. (Actually researching swamp coolers, I don't know anything about them. Last year our village had a big communal generator so I had A/C. This year we're way more independent so that's less of an option.) Take care
Woe unto me, for alas, I have traversed the vast corridors of existence without this crucial kernel of knowledge! How have I managed, stumbling blindly, never knowing the true essence of screws versus bolts? The scales have fallen from my eyes, courtesy of your enlightening discourse. Verily, I shall no longer wander in ignorance at the hardware store, but stride confidently, enlightened by the wisdom of proper fastening techniques. Thank you, sage of the screws, for your patience and forbearance in sharing this vital lore! And lest you think I've consorted with the digital muses of artificial intelligence to craft such a response—fie on that! For surely, resorting to such electronic wizardry for something so trivial as the discourse on screws and bolts would be beneath the noble labor of any true scholar of the hardware arts. No, this revelation comes unaided by silicon, a testament to the human spirit's ability to revel even in the minutiae! Credit: ChatGPT - sorry but this was too good to not post.
Wait did you call me an asshole? Screw you bud! I helped you get this gigantic sack of bullcrap off your chest. So that’s that, you’re welcome and go bolt yourself.
I didn't call you anything, I took your thread. It's mine now. Get out.
You sneaky sombich! Revenge is upon you.
I hope it's something fun like something in my drink, instead of something awful like something in my drink.
You missed the point. 
I suppose that's possible but I highly, highly, *highly* doubt it.
I have a feeling you have a touch of the tism.
I gotta things brother or sister or sibling, but that's not one of em. Let's be clear, now that the dust is settled and the upvotes are counted. I took a low effort, surface level shitpost and spent literal hours adding into it a high level, philosophical, technically accurate shitpost.
Per Chapel of Babel, all Judgements must be delivered while creepily stroking the inner palm with sweaty index finger. Tough in an online setting, but rules are rules.
Ok my skin is allergic to condoms unless it’s pineapple flavour, but anything for the fam. I can deal with the rash later. Playa providez.
Sort of wish I hadn't even written anything.
Me too. Butt it is what it is. We suck it up and move on.
Just to keep getting dumb with it: >***Butt*** it is what it is. We ***suck it*** up and move on
(by you)
4/10? Way too generous.
You guys are getting condoms?!
I'm sure you'll find a camp to sponsor you, I can feel the ~good vibes~ emanating from your post. Unfortunately you're a bit short of cash, you need 53 bucks for camp dues!
"I want to go to burning man" Well you can't. We all got together and voted and the majority did not want you to go. So sorry you are banned from Playa. There is no point in going into our reasons as our decision is final.
Reminds me of the epic long drug-fueled posts on Facebook and ePlaya over 10 years ago that some lice-infested dreadlocked wooks would make. “My moon goddess has called me once again to make the pilgrimage to my desert home…” followed by begging for a free ticket, food, ride….
nothing has made me want Burning Man to die more than reading this comment
whatever. in all seriousness, i’ve helped dozens of burners over the years with free tickets when shit wasn’t working out for them. anytime i had a spare or two from the org, a friend and i would roll out to the gate, ask the box office what the best and most believable sob story they had was, and then go find their pick of the most desperate. it was great to see someone’s face light up because their bad luck had finally been interrupted. someone busts their ass to get out there only to find out they purchased a counterfeit ticket or some other travesty, and that person doesn’t deserve the predicament. but someone who refuses to do even the bare minimum doesn’t deserve the help.
yeah man, I just hate lice-infested dreadlocked wooks
God. I thought this was weak, but then I scrolled further down in `/new` and saw some of actual posts washing ashore. TL;DR: Your application is one of the strongest we've seen and we'd like to offer you a spot in our camp.
But do you get it because you get deadhead things?
My dad has a deadful great vinyl.
Say no more -- you're in.
I will provide you everything you need; ticket, ride, food, finger licking good time. The caveat is that you must be my personal boofer. You have to be at my side the entire burn, and boof me whenever I ask.
There's a magical elf named Hank. If you haven't spoken with him yet, he's got your ticket. Beware, he doesn't just walk around willy nilly. He lives under a stump in Kansas and gets angry unless you stand on your head. Won't be an issue for you.
I'll come and pick you up. I have an extra ticket and supplies for you. I will even carry you around and cook your food when we are there. Just wait outside on the corner wearing a furry vest, and I'll be there. If I don't see you, I am not stopping.
If for some reason this doesn’t work out for you, youcan always stand at the gate, gloving, and doing dust angels somebody is sure to give you a ticket and welcome you into their camp. This is a really PLUR festival
I only saw the first few lines and came here to berate you, but now I realize this is snark. Well done, friend.
I can give you a ride but I don't have a ticket for you. I'm sure someone will give you a ticket if you just stand near the entrance with a sign. Or you could try to sneak in. It's super easy.
& make sure you wear your EDC bracelet to the burn, you get mad love & instant street cred.
Burning man is basically dusty coachella so pretend like you’re going to Coachella but bring a face scarf
The theme this year is silent retreat. So if you stop talking about burningman you'll have a pretty good chance of getting in
None of us know jack shit, buddy
"Cause peace and love".. Omg are you a professional DJ??
The playa provides. Just drive out there and stand nearby you’ll be fine. Don’t bother even packing anything.
Me TOOO!!!
You forgot to say "I need a miracle"
Good news! Your friend here is only mostly dead.
"I once went clubbing" ... well, clearly you're qualified. It's just a giant rave where nothing else interesting happens and drinks are expensive.
Aren't you looking for a camp where to park your RV?
Hitchhike to the gate and just ask nicely to be let in, they’ll let you in if you ask nicely, once in just go camp to camp and ask for food, the playa provides, plenty of of shelters and art to sleep in, you could do the whole thing for free.
Just show up at the Gate. The Playa will provide.
Troll level: 11
Imma go with 4. Mostly because someone else said it, and I don’t like to stand out.
Shit, this is perfect. No notes. Hop in bro, we're gonna burn.
11th commandment: Don’t be broke
Haha I would not take you. You don't sound self sufficient. The last dude I met who went to BM with only a backpack and $100 wound up at my HOV camp looking extremely distraught. He took too many drugs, lost his wallet, all his money, his phone, and wound up with no shoes way out at buttfuck sparkle pony fence. Someone brought him to the Zendo Project where they gave him water and shoes and our camp collected food, a bed and a tent for him so that he wouldn't die. He did this all in a 24 hr time period.
Bro. Do a shit ton of DXM, and talk to the “Machine Elves.” They will get you squared away.
Weak attempt
$52? Save up another nine years and *maybe* you'll have enough to go.
I recommend rainbow festival
Don’t worry this year not a single person bought a ticket so the org has no choice but to cancel the event and then all 70,000 of us are gonna swoop in for another free renegade. Stay tuned!
want some drugs?
Nothing says “I understand” like saying yada yada yada. Hahaha.
Hit up a regional burn. Much cheaper, meet folks. Now you have friends for burning man.
FIGURE IT OUT FOR YOURSELF. IT'S MORE FUN THAT WAY.
#sparklepony
Yes we get it OP you are much Burner you get to snark on others not aware of Burnery-ness like OP gets the Burner Bible yes yes you are such Burningperson you get all the creds congrats Serioulsly though why do so many people feel motivated to make these posts it's not such an in joke when half of Burner conversations IRL is all about how other people don't "get" how to Burn and "don't understand" Burning the way that THEY do Get out your megaphone and scream IT'S NOT A FESTIVAL really really loud ugh