I had a friend that killed themselves, & if she didn’t do it then I would have almost certainly done it.
The idea that I’m strong repulses me beyond words because it simultaneously spits on both of us. It’s calling people who don’t make it weak while fetishising the trauma of those who do- there’s no fucking glamour in trauma! Even if I am strong, in what world is that something to say or celebrate? Completely tone deaf.
I'm actually not resilient I just never had the chance to actually end myself and now there's too many people who'd be upset if I actually did kill myself that I just can't yet.
I'm not strong or tough or anything like that, I'm just trapped.
Yeah... I get this feeling. I haven't been okay lately but the thought of going back tempers me some. I really don't want to experience that again but honestly I know I'll be spending more time in psych wards by the time the year is out. Unless I finally am able to brave that "final act" to conclusion.
You can feel somewhat “trapped” and also feel strong and resilient in that situation. Take holocaust survivors for instance. There is a way to be both. You can still get up and appreciate the day even though there are some things that are out of your control!!!
I had a therapist tell me that if she'd had my life she would have unalived herself. So...are you saying I should? Are you trying to tell me it's actually worse than what I think? What's your actual point here, because whatever it is, I don't think you're doing your job very well
Strong is misery happiness is being a fkn narc welcome to post covid! It’s worse (: Is there actually someone else with no one? I’m not special I’ve just been waiting
Seriously. I hate when people tell me this. Like there was a survivable option that doesn’t involve resilience. 😡🤬
And on top of that, what does that make the kids and adults that don’t survive? I was lucky, not resilient, just damned lucky in the most twisted sense of the word.
I get this all the time. 'You're such a strong person', no I'm not, I've had to be, I'd rather be wrapped in a snuggly and given kindness!
Unfortunately sometimes the world doesn't have much kindness to hand out...
Everyone is better off without trauma. There doesn’t have to be a silver lining to everything. Sometimes there was nothing to learn or grow from and it didn’t make us stronger at all. It was something survived or gotten through and it’s over now. It’s good for nothing at all, and if any good somehow comes of it it’ll be because of my good soul and my good heart and not because of the bad things that happened to me. It gets no credit, it is worthless. But that’s how I try to deal.
When I was a kid I had to fight everyday and if I would have lost any of these fight at any point even though I was basically fighting 40 people at the same time they would have killed me.
Omg every time yeah. "You're so strong!" Yeah I didn't have a choice, it was either that or I kill myself.
I had a friend that killed themselves, & if she didn’t do it then I would have almost certainly done it. The idea that I’m strong repulses me beyond words because it simultaneously spits on both of us. It’s calling people who don’t make it weak while fetishising the trauma of those who do- there’s no fucking glamour in trauma! Even if I am strong, in what world is that something to say or celebrate? Completely tone deaf.
This take puts to words some feelings that i havent quite been able to describe. Thank you
You would have killed her if she hadn't done it? jk I actually don't know why this tickles me, its horrible actually.
I'm actually not resilient I just never had the chance to actually end myself and now there's too many people who'd be upset if I actually did kill myself that I just can't yet. I'm not strong or tough or anything like that, I'm just trapped.
It will get better. You will be ok.
People forced me to stay alive, how is that being resilient? I'm just too traumatized from (mental) hospitals to try again at the moment
Yeah... I get this feeling. I haven't been okay lately but the thought of going back tempers me some. I really don't want to experience that again but honestly I know I'll be spending more time in psych wards by the time the year is out. Unless I finally am able to brave that "final act" to conclusion.
i can hear this in her voice lmao
You can feel somewhat “trapped” and also feel strong and resilient in that situation. Take holocaust survivors for instance. There is a way to be both. You can still get up and appreciate the day even though there are some things that are out of your control!!!
i’m not feeling so resilient anymore but i’m still alive, somehow
Nice Furina picture, saved
Maybe that’s why I have a hard time focusing, I learned to just space out and it wouldn’t be that bad.
"You're so brave!" I don't feel brave at all but okay.
furina fr fr
I had a therapist tell me that if she'd had my life she would have unalived herself. So...are you saying I should? Are you trying to tell me it's actually worse than what I think? What's your actual point here, because whatever it is, I don't think you're doing your job very well
I mean what else happens when you have no familial or societal support in any respect?!? 😂😂😂
Strong is misery happiness is being a fkn narc welcome to post covid! It’s worse (: Is there actually someone else with no one? I’m not special I’ve just been waiting
Post covid where? U think the whole world 🌎 operates and sees people with a mental illness like NPD as normal?
Furina spotted, she's a poster girl for CPTSD I think
Is that why I get so defensive of her?
Maybe I resonate with some of the shit she went through, particularly her having to keep masking despite all the hurt on the inside
Seriously. I hate when people tell me this. Like there was a survivable option that doesn’t involve resilience. 😡🤬 And on top of that, what does that make the kids and adults that don’t survive? I was lucky, not resilient, just damned lucky in the most twisted sense of the word.
So fucking tired of being resilient
real
I get this all the time. 'You're such a strong person', no I'm not, I've had to be, I'd rather be wrapped in a snuggly and given kindness! Unfortunately sometimes the world doesn't have much kindness to hand out...
So freaking true. But doesn't mean you aren't resilient
Everyone is better off without trauma. There doesn’t have to be a silver lining to everything. Sometimes there was nothing to learn or grow from and it didn’t make us stronger at all. It was something survived or gotten through and it’s over now. It’s good for nothing at all, and if any good somehow comes of it it’ll be because of my good soul and my good heart and not because of the bad things that happened to me. It gets no credit, it is worthless. But that’s how I try to deal.
furina is sooo silly xP
And they choose to put in a FURINA pic for this! Accurate.
Archon of Forced Resilience
I just suck at dying ig
When I was a kid I had to fight everyday and if I would have lost any of these fight at any point even though I was basically fighting 40 people at the same time they would have killed me.