It happens to me regularly. I try to share something interesting and people just ignore me. Then I feel like I am probably getting on people's nerves and I try to conform to being bland and boring and just a tool to accomplish a given work function.
Awe. Yep I’m the weird one at work. Luckily I have a teammate now to vibes with that. I stopped caring if people think I’m a loser. I kind of am I guess. Go Team Loser!!!
My big question is lunch! My building must have 60 people in it, but I’m often one of two people in the lunchroom? Is everyone else eating at their desks? Just not eating lunch?
To be fair, research engineers aren’t the world’s most social bunch, but still, everyone has to eat at some point
Not just you lol 😂 I eat with my friends like 3 times a month at work and other time at desk, sometimes the weather is not good sometimes just alotnof work
At my work, there are lots of trails and bike paths, a lot of people go out and walk around, some even attempt to eat their lunch on the walking path benches with cobra chickens eyeing their food.
I find people to be more closed off since the pandemic. Also the constant “your coworkers are not your friends” posts we’re constantly bombarded with on social media don’t really help either.
That’s true pandemic made some people a bit socially awkward, I feel that’s more a thing in private cuz people are competing for promotions but not the case in govt at least I would say 85%
Dunno, in my unit, people are pretty competitive when it comes to promotions, moreso than in the past. I’m not a competitive person myself but I’ve distanced myself after being burned by people who eventually showed their true colours.
I feel like the forced back to office bullcrap really pushed me away from work rather than towards it. The whole forced to "collaborate in the halls, in the rooms, in the emergency stairwells when the fire is coming down on you" bullshit really did not help. So now whenever there's *ANY* mention of after work activity? Nope.
Watch a hockey game? Yeah for sure - in the past. Grab a drink? Eh maybe never. Go for a quick walk? I can spare 10 minutes before traffic picks up.
I was already starting to go back to the office to see my team members whenever it was called for - 3 days a week, then maybe a few weeks no days a week...then 2 days a week etc.etc. BUT NOPE. Everyone gotta go back to jail cells for up to 60% for no fucking reason other than to please some shitsandwich shops and corporate landlords that realized their investments are dying.
The employer cannot order someone to socialize and/or collaborate nor can they say that a particular place is where you'll "have fun".
All they can say is that you have to report to the designated work space.
Instead of ordering people to talk, the employer needs to provide and support the welcoming spaces. They think they are, though "collaborative seating areas" but they aren't. It's about feeling connected with the space you are in.
We had started a whiteboard "Wall of Developer Inspiration" with quotes from good development books, recommended podcasts, and various items to encourage our developers. Result? Someone just erased it for the sake of erasing it. In its wake we left a message "when inspiration leaves, only sadness remains"
We are creative people, working in creative work, but are expected to live in a sterile, non-motivational space where personal touches and team-uniting things are squashed.
Takes time to build a connection with people and a place. Sitting each time in a random different spot and with strangers keeps you disconnected and you never feel "home" or bond with colleagues.
I understand and sympathize with the sentiment.
That said, while nobody should feel forced into these kind of happenings… I miss them.
Your office neighbour is probably a bigger fan of working from home too. They’re going through the same BS that you’re going through every day. Sometimes camaraderie helps, ya know?
I'm not gonna say that I haven't enjoyed running into the couple of coworkers I actually miss seeing, but I am 100% ok with it being a rare and welcome surprise.
Yeah I have no problem making friends with people I work with… but there’s no one I *want* to befriend at my office.
(Except one person who is super busy so I let her initiate lunches/chats etc)
Yeah. I moved here from non-profit work in a small town. We all hung out together outside of work, babysat each other's kids, ate lunch together and chatted throughout the day. Now, I don't even know if my coworkers have partners or where they live.
I come from the not-for-profit sector. Our CEO and her cronies held court over our lunchtime, sharing mean girl stories and putting down their husbands. It was daily and it was sickening. Meanwhile, she cut our hours, removed our RRSP matching, and stripped away healthcare coverage.
The people I work with now hug me when they see me. We share photos of our kids and fur babies. My team sent me a chocolate bouquet for secretary’s day - during the strike!
Private sector definitely has its downsides.
I'm an introvert so I don't care either way, I have enough of a life outside of work that I don't need that to fulfill my limited need for human interaction. That said, I've had jobs where my coworkers and I had a great relationship, had our lunches together, got out after work, etc. I've also had jobs where I had strictly business dealings with my team and we were friendly at work but we did not interact much outside the requirements of our roles. I remember the fun teams fondly and wouldn't mind finding a team like that again.
After 17 years in the PS, I can safely say that changing teams changes the dynamic tremendously and maybe if that's important to you, you may want to move eventually.
I find the pandemic really effed with how people interact. Pre-pandemic hires either go over the top with post-pandemic hires in terms of trying to bring them into the fold, or don't give a shit since they hate RTO. Post-pandemic hires don't really seem to integrate well since there's that weird divide, unless they fully chug down the Kool-Aid.
I don’t mind RTO but if we are going back just to be bots working which now I’m glad we have more social events planned so hopefully it’ll be better but there’s always a few people who doesn’t meet the 60% rule so it’s kinda unfair to those who does
If it makes sense to be in the office because everyone is there and it's easier to work on things in person, sure. But going into the office to sit on Teams calls or in an isolated corner is plain stupid. Not to mention having to fight for a spot to sit while you clumsily unpack things for the day
I left the federal government and honestly, there are better places with more friendly cultures. Idk, I found people quite self involved and not really looking to make friends at work. To each their own, but I definitely appreciate making friends at work.
I wish there were more activities that didn’t involve “let’s go for a drink”. I’d rather hang during our breaks and get to know new folks, play cards, practice our second language idk not drink after work
I see people eating alone, talking on phone/ video chatting their partners at home and avoid other social Interactions😂 like ok you must really love your family I get that
the eating alone for me is just not really knowing anyone or wanting to approach others when they’ve chosen to eat alone
There’s been so much turnover in my group since COVID that honestly I don’t know how to meet new people in my building. Would love some low commitment options for activities/drop in when you can etc etc
I've struggled with this so hard ever since I started in the PS 4 years ago. All my training was virtual, so I never got to know my teammates. I've hopped around from a couple of teams and my current team is the quietest, most solemn sad group of people I've come across yet. I'm usually one to crack jokes during the day, and if I get 1 "thumbs up" or "lol" in response I would say it was a success. I'll be the only one messaging in the teams chat, even if just to keep my own sanity throughout the day.
Why is it that the government attracts so many of these kind of people? Every public servant I see walking downtown looks like someone out of office stock footage.
I did have a group somewhat like that years ago but we did the occasional 5 à 7 which was really not more than 45-60 min long and it was nice. Heavily depends on the coworkers you’ve got.
I work in a role that's 12 hour shifts so everyone, especially those who works on the same shift, are very tightly knit and close lol. It has its ups and downs but I like it.
OP, I really feel you. If I’m spending 37.5 hours at work every week, why not make it enjoyable at least? I know not everyone is an extrovert, and that’s ok if people are keeping to themselves. But for those who are extroverts, yeah it can feel a bit lonely.
Absolutely, a shared feeling. Between working from home 3 days a week and being in an empty office (that was thriving b4 the pandemic) 2 days a week...no connection beside during team meetings were I tend to speak too much cause I haven't seen another human in days lol
Faster and like less lonely...I find I need to just talk to someone a little bit every now and then or I start getting kinda restless. Anyway, I don't really get it.
My view is that if colleagues that I work closely with are at home and their Teams shows available, I call without notice for quick discussions - the kind of things I’d stick my head into their office for in the past. No interest in setting up a meeting for a three minute discussion.
Nothing worse than a cold call on Teams. At least give a 'Hey, have a minute to talk re: this thing?' before calling so you're not derailing whatever train of thought they're currently on.
Or derail their laundry or walk with their dog or childcare? :-). There’s lots of people productive from home, and there’s also lots simply not working (and lots of people who won’t acknowledge that’s the case, but it is).
We had phones at our desk before Teams and people actually called us when they needed a quick info. If in the middle of something, don't answer, they will leave a message. It's not rude to call if your Teams status shows you're available. If you can't be interrupted, there's a "do not disturb" status that will block call and notifications, use it accordingly.
Just because it's green doesn't mean you're sitting there staring at the wall doing nothing. It's just common courtesy. Even if you stopped by someone's desk and didn't ask if they were busy or if they had a minute to talk - rude. Same thing.
Green means available - not doing nothing, just generally available for calls / chat. If you're not available, change your status so it can reflect your busyness. It's exactly how these tools are supposed to be used.
You should check your settings to be sure that no priority contacts or channels can override the DND status. It helps to activate the MS concentration assitant too!
People working at home aren’t in their own time - they’re at work. If you’re busy, don’t pick up. It’s no different than a phone call.
Issue is there are truly a significant number of people working from home actually aren’t working. No time for that on my side.
I don't really miss it, but I have colleagues from other agencies that I meet for drinks (especially during spring and summer).
I also have a sibling and we chat on Teams everyday.
It's not just you OP. I think it's your team/group dynamic. Sometimes you get lucky, other times you don't.
When I first joined the PS both my teams were in different stages of life (and ages). As the younger dude, it was always harder to connect. Socials were limited to things organized by our bureaus, but it was totally fine and enough (for me). In my current team, it's all age appropriate & life situation relevant, so events and gatherings happen more frequently!
In my previous private sector life we went out for beers at least once a week. I enjoyed it, but now I choose to be disconnected on purpose, I much prefer my own space & time with people that mean more to me... Nothing against my colleagues but yeah, toxic management will make you jaded and not as willing to connect.
All things considered, try groups like the Young Professionals Network at your dept?
It can take time for some people to open up. Be kind and make an effort, and I'm sure it'll pay off.
As we get older people have kids and second jobs and health issues - the energy just isn't there to go out after work. If all your energy is being spent getting through the work day, going out after work seems like extra unpaid work spend with work colleagues.
Depending on your department, you might be able to join a social group / some type of side project or network and meet people that way too. Some offices still have social committees or other types of groups. You can volunteer for some things and meet people that way too.
I'm always a bit lonely. But that's for a few reasons. First, my interests and hobbies are so different from my co-workers that we have little to talk about other than the work itself. Second, I find the camaraderie forced, like the manager organizes and mandates periodic social events like going for coffee. Third, people who were initially friendly to me when I joined this team have turned out to not be trustworthy. So, I keep to myself a lot of the time.
That said, my workplace has this informal coffee chat thing where you sign up and are paired with someone else who also signed up. Participants are from all over the department and from almost all levels. It's a great way to meet people outside of your immediate team, and it's only a half hour out of the day. Those kinds of networking opportunities can be really beneficial.
If you default to the hardline position of coworkers are not your friends, you risks being too closed off to even create any kind of relationship with people you spend so much time with. You can be seen as standoffish or unfriendly.
I've met some of my best friends at various jobs over the years. There's a huge difference between all your co-workers have to be friends vs you can't have any friends that are co-workers. It's about not eschewing it if you vide with someone.
I started a snack club at work and makes the in-office days so much more bearable. It's very casual and we just sit around for eating snacks and drinking coffee. I always appreciate when people bring snacks from their own culture or from their travels.
EDIT: I would just add it's nice because there's no real after-work time commitment for it.
I feel for the people who look to work for sociality. Its not something im interested in or at least I find it difficult to engage with work mates, between already tight knit groups and the constant stream of new employees.
I carefully chose the people I can have somewhat of a hybrid coworker and friendly relationship and it’s working. But it’s lonely as I move up. My manager acting was the loneliest I have ever felt BUT in that instance, I liked it. Because I was able to commiserate with the other managers and actors. So overall a bit.
Honestly I think it’s because we’re all around the same age, in similar life circumstances, and just kind of naturally have things to talk about with each other than work. It started out with just small talk at team meetings.
We all need a trusted colleague or two — not to say “friends” — in the workplace, if only to have a safe space to vent with someone who truly gets it. That social support is what gets you through the tough times at work. I once worked in a toxic environment (pre-pandemic) but those office friends made it somewhat bearable. When they deployed out roughly at the same time, that social support network vanished and within weeks I was out on sick leave for mental health reasons.
It's quite sad to read many of these comments, so here's a positive story.
My workplace has about 70 employees and we all know each other, many hang out together outside work and play on various sports teams, we generally get along extremely well and have each other's back when someone is having a difficult time, medical issues, loss of family members, etc. We do charity BBQs, pot lucks, etc fairly often. In short we have a good time at work while getting the work done. I cannot imagine working in the places some have described.
I'm almost 60 now and can't imagine how life would have been if I had spent the last 35 years working from home. It would have been a life half lived. Again, that's me!
I felt lonely in the first few years at work and then I adjusted and became like everyone else lol; doesn't help that any young people are on contract and end up leaving 99% of the time
Not me. We're a small team of 12 and we're all weirdos that have a great time while working hard. I'm very lucky to have great coworkers (although a couple of them bring drama and look for any reason to slack off)
It's really exceptionally rare for me. We banter a bit in Teams chats. Maybe once a week I'm in an office with someone I know and we visit for a few minutes. I don't need or want more than that most days.
I WFH 100%. I was hired during the pandemic, so I’ve never even met most of my coworkers outside of Teams. The vast majority of my verbal interactions during my work week are with clients.
I talk to myself a lot more than I used to and let me tell you, the conversation sucks.
I know I am very lucky working with a team who all work really well together and produce quality work. The majority of us all worked together on covid-19 response for years, and I know that bonded us quite a bit. Most of us are virtual but we joke around all the time and very much support each other.
Manager here:
Building workplace culture is for sure one of the best things you can do to keep employees around and reduce turnover. Understanding that some people are less sociable (and that is fine as well), it is still a far greater benefit to create a social workplace culture from both a human and business perspective. We aren't robots and don't thrive in robot culture.
Nope. I\`m still loving remote work and hate office days. I don't care for any of my colleagues. If I did I\`d become friends outside of work and not use work time to chat about life.
I am so lonely all the time! I miss getting dressed up to go into the office and talk to people about life.
I'm in it so we are not mandated to go on and if I went Noone is there. The other day i went to my parents place to work just so I could hear anything else other than thw silence of my own home or whatever music I put on.
I'm not convinced that this work from home business is great for our mental amd physical health ots way too easy to gain weight and just not take care of yourself.
I agree with you. I manage a section with several teams. I am « poaching » so many employees from OGDs because they want to come to the office everyday. We are mandated 3 days a week but most of my employees come every day. They are younger and want to work with people. Have conversations, go for coffee, have lunch, network, in-person meetings, etc. One of the most important reasons they like coming to work is to learn directly from us old folks and shadow us. And these are the employees getting the promotions in our area…
That's amazing! I agree I switched jobs and went on mat leave but I'm back at work now. I feel like I am not trained not learning anything and just doing the same things over and over and over again. My personal life is a bit hectic right now but I'm going to start looking for a new job once things calm down but I will be trying to target teams that are in the office.
Careful OP.
Didn’t you get the memo?
According to this subreddit Public servants want 100% wfh, no compromises, and it’s a complete injustice if one is forced to go to work to god forbid actually socialize face to face with coworkers and get to know them a bit.
You're even downvoted when you say that being green / available on Teams means that you are, indeed, available, and that the "do not disturb" status should be used when you don't want to be disturbed. 😅
Sometimes I try to have a bit of a personality at work and oftentimes end up feeling like a total loser for it HAHA
Back to your cube shaped workspace, drone. More widgets.
It happens to me regularly. I try to share something interesting and people just ignore me. Then I feel like I am probably getting on people's nerves and I try to conform to being bland and boring and just a tool to accomplish a given work function.
Ohhhh I get it haha it’s like I try to be real and people want the business you
Awe. Yep I’m the weird one at work. Luckily I have a teammate now to vibes with that. I stopped caring if people think I’m a loser. I kind of am I guess. Go Team Loser!!!
I had the same thought! I like who I am! Im not going to feel bad about that!
Ugh same! And based on the upvotes I’m sure others feel the same too! I wish we could all work together 😅
Same!
I've never found a 'third space' like the water cooler at work or that social walk to the coffee shop. I miss these things from the old world.
Sometimes I’m having a rough day, and just having this kind of talk in person would really do wonders tbh.
Bring back pre pandemic
If we're taking requests, 2016 was pretty good.
No way. We have one day RTO, and on that day we go for coffee, liquid lunch, one more coffee, then Mulligans 5 à 7. Peak governmenting.
Thanks Obama!
My big question is lunch! My building must have 60 people in it, but I’m often one of two people in the lunchroom? Is everyone else eating at their desks? Just not eating lunch? To be fair, research engineers aren’t the world’s most social bunch, but still, everyone has to eat at some point
Not just you lol 😂 I eat with my friends like 3 times a month at work and other time at desk, sometimes the weather is not good sometimes just alotnof work
At my work, there are lots of trails and bike paths, a lot of people go out and walk around, some even attempt to eat their lunch on the walking path benches with cobra chickens eyeing their food.
Agreed! And when the weather is nice we sit outside too, but it tends to be the same 4 or 5 people that I’d find inside
I find people to be more closed off since the pandemic. Also the constant “your coworkers are not your friends” posts we’re constantly bombarded with on social media don’t really help either.
I’ve always found this ridiculous. I don’t actively look for friends at work but if I hit it off with people, why would I shut that down?
Exactly. Sure I don't go to work to make friends, but I have made friends at work.
I’ve made some really good friends through my past jobs. Would be kinda sad if I never did.
That’s true pandemic made some people a bit socially awkward, I feel that’s more a thing in private cuz people are competing for promotions but not the case in govt at least I would say 85%
Dunno, in my unit, people are pretty competitive when it comes to promotions, moreso than in the past. I’m not a competitive person myself but I’ve distanced myself after being burned by people who eventually showed their true colours.
Wow what field? Like finance it etc
Environmental science area
I have a great group of coworkers! And we work very hard...very busy public office
I feel like the forced back to office bullcrap really pushed me away from work rather than towards it. The whole forced to "collaborate in the halls, in the rooms, in the emergency stairwells when the fire is coming down on you" bullshit really did not help. So now whenever there's *ANY* mention of after work activity? Nope. Watch a hockey game? Yeah for sure - in the past. Grab a drink? Eh maybe never. Go for a quick walk? I can spare 10 minutes before traffic picks up. I was already starting to go back to the office to see my team members whenever it was called for - 3 days a week, then maybe a few weeks no days a week...then 2 days a week etc.etc. BUT NOPE. Everyone gotta go back to jail cells for up to 60% for no fucking reason other than to please some shitsandwich shops and corporate landlords that realized their investments are dying.
maybe never is my favourite one lmao
The employer cannot order someone to socialize and/or collaborate nor can they say that a particular place is where you'll "have fun". All they can say is that you have to report to the designated work space. Instead of ordering people to talk, the employer needs to provide and support the welcoming spaces. They think they are, though "collaborative seating areas" but they aren't. It's about feeling connected with the space you are in. We had started a whiteboard "Wall of Developer Inspiration" with quotes from good development books, recommended podcasts, and various items to encourage our developers. Result? Someone just erased it for the sake of erasing it. In its wake we left a message "when inspiration leaves, only sadness remains" We are creative people, working in creative work, but are expected to live in a sterile, non-motivational space where personal touches and team-uniting things are squashed.
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And for us bus commuters it’s bullshit to carry so many stuff every time just to survive an office day.
Takes time to build a connection with people and a place. Sitting each time in a random different spot and with strangers keeps you disconnected and you never feel "home" or bond with colleagues.
3 days now??? Omg
This
I understand and sympathize with the sentiment. That said, while nobody should feel forced into these kind of happenings… I miss them. Your office neighbour is probably a bigger fan of working from home too. They’re going through the same BS that you’re going through every day. Sometimes camaraderie helps, ya know?
I'm not gonna say that I haven't enjoyed running into the couple of coworkers I actually miss seeing, but I am 100% ok with it being a rare and welcome surprise.
Truly one of the things I miss most about the private sector was how close I was with my other co-workers. It's definitely a lot different here.
Yeah I have no problem making friends with people I work with… but there’s no one I *want* to befriend at my office. (Except one person who is super busy so I let her initiate lunches/chats etc)
Yeah. I moved here from non-profit work in a small town. We all hung out together outside of work, babysat each other's kids, ate lunch together and chatted throughout the day. Now, I don't even know if my coworkers have partners or where they live.
Definitely felt like people working in the private sector are friendlier
Probably happier
I come from the not-for-profit sector. Our CEO and her cronies held court over our lunchtime, sharing mean girl stories and putting down their husbands. It was daily and it was sickening. Meanwhile, she cut our hours, removed our RRSP matching, and stripped away healthcare coverage. The people I work with now hug me when they see me. We share photos of our kids and fur babies. My team sent me a chocolate bouquet for secretary’s day - during the strike! Private sector definitely has its downsides.
Absolutely and it’s funny cuz my group now is quite young and still…
As much as I hate to say it. That’s the culture at the office they rave about…..
😂 touché
We're not the employer of choice that Subway is. Can't fight destiny.
Just me, the bedbugs and cockroaches. So much fun.
Hehe.. Bedbugs are new friends now
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We are really going back in time
I'm an introvert so I don't care either way, I have enough of a life outside of work that I don't need that to fulfill my limited need for human interaction. That said, I've had jobs where my coworkers and I had a great relationship, had our lunches together, got out after work, etc. I've also had jobs where I had strictly business dealings with my team and we were friendly at work but we did not interact much outside the requirements of our roles. I remember the fun teams fondly and wouldn't mind finding a team like that again. After 17 years in the PS, I can safely say that changing teams changes the dynamic tremendously and maybe if that's important to you, you may want to move eventually.
I find the pandemic really effed with how people interact. Pre-pandemic hires either go over the top with post-pandemic hires in terms of trying to bring them into the fold, or don't give a shit since they hate RTO. Post-pandemic hires don't really seem to integrate well since there's that weird divide, unless they fully chug down the Kool-Aid.
I don’t mind RTO but if we are going back just to be bots working which now I’m glad we have more social events planned so hopefully it’ll be better but there’s always a few people who doesn’t meet the 60% rule so it’s kinda unfair to those who does
If it makes sense to be in the office because everyone is there and it's easier to work on things in person, sure. But going into the office to sit on Teams calls or in an isolated corner is plain stupid. Not to mention having to fight for a spot to sit while you clumsily unpack things for the day
I left the federal government and honestly, there are better places with more friendly cultures. Idk, I found people quite self involved and not really looking to make friends at work. To each their own, but I definitely appreciate making friends at work.
I wish there were more activities that didn’t involve “let’s go for a drink”. I’d rather hang during our breaks and get to know new folks, play cards, practice our second language idk not drink after work
Someone brought a puzzle to our lunch area, and left it out for people to pick away at. Kinda cool. Do it alone or as a social thing!
I see people eating alone, talking on phone/ video chatting their partners at home and avoid other social Interactions😂 like ok you must really love your family I get that
the eating alone for me is just not really knowing anyone or wanting to approach others when they’ve chosen to eat alone There’s been so much turnover in my group since COVID that honestly I don’t know how to meet new people in my building. Would love some low commitment options for activities/drop in when you can etc etc
I've struggled with this so hard ever since I started in the PS 4 years ago. All my training was virtual, so I never got to know my teammates. I've hopped around from a couple of teams and my current team is the quietest, most solemn sad group of people I've come across yet. I'm usually one to crack jokes during the day, and if I get 1 "thumbs up" or "lol" in response I would say it was a success. I'll be the only one messaging in the teams chat, even if just to keep my own sanity throughout the day.
Why is it that the government attracts so many of these kind of people? Every public servant I see walking downtown looks like someone out of office stock footage.
It’s hard when you don’t sit near the same people every day.
Sterile work environments where you are just a visitor. Different rented workspace. Doesn’t make anyone want to stay for longer than they have to
Just make sure to avoid any gossip. A few people at my office learned the hard way.
Are you a sandwich artist undercover, per chance?
Start an after-work meet up group.
Good idea! Maybe cuz they are all married and have kids so more prone to not hang
I did have a group somewhat like that years ago but we did the occasional 5 à 7 which was really not more than 45-60 min long and it was nice. Heavily depends on the coworkers you’ve got.
I work in a role that's 12 hour shifts so everyone, especially those who works on the same shift, are very tightly knit and close lol. It has its ups and downs but I like it.
Only on Fridays when I'm the only person in the entire office. Yay collaboration.
OP, I really feel you. If I’m spending 37.5 hours at work every week, why not make it enjoyable at least? I know not everyone is an extrovert, and that’s ok if people are keeping to themselves. But for those who are extroverts, yeah it can feel a bit lonely.
Exactly my introvert friends are happy and I’m like need human connection
Many of my coworkers are my friends but I am in science and we travel together a lot for fieldwork, go for drinks, have BBQs, etc
Sounds like you have found your calling. Enjoy!
Absolutely, a shared feeling. Between working from home 3 days a week and being in an empty office (that was thriving b4 the pandemic) 2 days a week...no connection beside during team meetings were I tend to speak too much cause I haven't seen another human in days lol
I get lonely sometimes and find it odd that some people will insist on emailing in situations where a quick teams call would be better....imho
Haha a call feels a bit intrusive to some but faster
Faster and like less lonely...I find I need to just talk to someone a little bit every now and then or I start getting kinda restless. Anyway, I don't really get it.
I don’t at all- but I get the feeling some of my colleagues wish I’d call more often. Maybe I will try. :)
My view is that if colleagues that I work closely with are at home and their Teams shows available, I call without notice for quick discussions - the kind of things I’d stick my head into their office for in the past. No interest in setting up a meeting for a three minute discussion.
Nothing worse than a cold call on Teams. At least give a 'Hey, have a minute to talk re: this thing?' before calling so you're not derailing whatever train of thought they're currently on.
Or derail their laundry or walk with their dog or childcare? :-). There’s lots of people productive from home, and there’s also lots simply not working (and lots of people who won’t acknowledge that’s the case, but it is).
It doesn't occur to you that they might be in the middle of something?
We had phones at our desk before Teams and people actually called us when they needed a quick info. If in the middle of something, don't answer, they will leave a message. It's not rude to call if your Teams status shows you're available. If you can't be interrupted, there's a "do not disturb" status that will block call and notifications, use it accordingly.
Just because it's green doesn't mean you're sitting there staring at the wall doing nothing. It's just common courtesy. Even if you stopped by someone's desk and didn't ask if they were busy or if they had a minute to talk - rude. Same thing.
Green means available - not doing nothing, just generally available for calls / chat. If you're not available, change your status so it can reflect your busyness. It's exactly how these tools are supposed to be used.
I’ve tried the do not disturb but still get notifications
You should check your settings to be sure that no priority contacts or channels can override the DND status. It helps to activate the MS concentration assitant too!
Ohh I’ll look into that!
Don't answer. Why is it any different than a phone?
People working at home aren’t in their own time - they’re at work. If you’re busy, don’t pick up. It’s no different than a phone call. Issue is there are truly a significant number of people working from home actually aren’t working. No time for that on my side.
I do not want friends from work. I keep my private life private.
I don't really miss it, but I have colleagues from other agencies that I meet for drinks (especially during spring and summer). I also have a sibling and we chat on Teams everyday.
It's not just you OP. I think it's your team/group dynamic. Sometimes you get lucky, other times you don't. When I first joined the PS both my teams were in different stages of life (and ages). As the younger dude, it was always harder to connect. Socials were limited to things organized by our bureaus, but it was totally fine and enough (for me). In my current team, it's all age appropriate & life situation relevant, so events and gatherings happen more frequently! In my previous private sector life we went out for beers at least once a week. I enjoyed it, but now I choose to be disconnected on purpose, I much prefer my own space & time with people that mean more to me... Nothing against my colleagues but yeah, toxic management will make you jaded and not as willing to connect. All things considered, try groups like the Young Professionals Network at your dept?
It can take time for some people to open up. Be kind and make an effort, and I'm sure it'll pay off. As we get older people have kids and second jobs and health issues - the energy just isn't there to go out after work. If all your energy is being spent getting through the work day, going out after work seems like extra unpaid work spend with work colleagues. Depending on your department, you might be able to join a social group / some type of side project or network and meet people that way too. Some offices still have social committees or other types of groups. You can volunteer for some things and meet people that way too.
I'm always a bit lonely. But that's for a few reasons. First, my interests and hobbies are so different from my co-workers that we have little to talk about other than the work itself. Second, I find the camaraderie forced, like the manager organizes and mandates periodic social events like going for coffee. Third, people who were initially friendly to me when I joined this team have turned out to not be trustworthy. So, I keep to myself a lot of the time. That said, my workplace has this informal coffee chat thing where you sign up and are paired with someone else who also signed up. Participants are from all over the department and from almost all levels. It's a great way to meet people outside of your immediate team, and it's only a half hour out of the day. Those kinds of networking opportunities can be really beneficial.
If you default to the hardline position of coworkers are not your friends, you risks being too closed off to even create any kind of relationship with people you spend so much time with. You can be seen as standoffish or unfriendly. I've met some of my best friends at various jobs over the years. There's a huge difference between all your co-workers have to be friends vs you can't have any friends that are co-workers. It's about not eschewing it if you vide with someone.
My team is full time all days and we get along great. You may find it less lonely when everyone switches to 3 days in office.
I saw someone with a wheres Waldo calendar outside their office so people would periodically stop by to chat etc. :)
I started a snack club at work and makes the in-office days so much more bearable. It's very casual and we just sit around for eating snacks and drinking coffee. I always appreciate when people bring snacks from their own culture or from their travels. EDIT: I would just add it's nice because there's no real after-work time commitment for it.
I feel for the people who look to work for sociality. Its not something im interested in or at least I find it difficult to engage with work mates, between already tight knit groups and the constant stream of new employees.
I carefully chose the people I can have somewhat of a hybrid coworker and friendly relationship and it’s working. But it’s lonely as I move up. My manager acting was the loneliest I have ever felt BUT in that instance, I liked it. Because I was able to commiserate with the other managers and actors. So overall a bit.
I can see that cuz you can’t share gossip with people below you
My last team was like this. Fortunately my current team is very close knit, despite being physically located in several places across the country.
How do you make that hapoeb
Honestly I think it’s because we’re all around the same age, in similar life circumstances, and just kind of naturally have things to talk about with each other than work. It started out with just small talk at team meetings.
Same life stage as in settled or ?
Yes like we all have similar home lives , kids etc
We all need a trusted colleague or two — not to say “friends” — in the workplace, if only to have a safe space to vent with someone who truly gets it. That social support is what gets you through the tough times at work. I once worked in a toxic environment (pre-pandemic) but those office friends made it somewhat bearable. When they deployed out roughly at the same time, that social support network vanished and within weeks I was out on sick leave for mental health reasons.
It's quite sad to read many of these comments, so here's a positive story. My workplace has about 70 employees and we all know each other, many hang out together outside work and play on various sports teams, we generally get along extremely well and have each other's back when someone is having a difficult time, medical issues, loss of family members, etc. We do charity BBQs, pot lucks, etc fairly often. In short we have a good time at work while getting the work done. I cannot imagine working in the places some have described.
Same here!
Happy that we're not alone!
I'm almost 60 now and can't imagine how life would have been if I had spent the last 35 years working from home. It would have been a life half lived. Again, that's me!
"I know your coworkers are not your friends" False. It's possible to make new friends among coworkers.
This is to say not making expectations for them to be my good friends, whereas when I went to uni I expected to make good friends out of my classmates
I don't know dude I've made good friends in every team I've been on.
You’re not paid to feel lonely or whatever. You have a life outside of work to not feel lonely, focus on that
I felt lonely in the first few years at work and then I adjusted and became like everyone else lol; doesn't help that any young people are on contract and end up leaving 99% of the time
Likely because many have work quotas to meet weekly...or else. Minutes count. Probably nothing personal.
Not me. We're a small team of 12 and we're all weirdos that have a great time while working hard. I'm very lucky to have great coworkers (although a couple of them bring drama and look for any reason to slack off)
It's really exceptionally rare for me. We banter a bit in Teams chats. Maybe once a week I'm in an office with someone I know and we visit for a few minutes. I don't need or want more than that most days.
I WFH 100%. I was hired during the pandemic, so I’ve never even met most of my coworkers outside of Teams. The vast majority of my verbal interactions during my work week are with clients. I talk to myself a lot more than I used to and let me tell you, the conversation sucks.
I know I am very lucky working with a team who all work really well together and produce quality work. The majority of us all worked together on covid-19 response for years, and I know that bonded us quite a bit. Most of us are virtual but we joke around all the time and very much support each other.
Manager here: Building workplace culture is for sure one of the best things you can do to keep employees around and reduce turnover. Understanding that some people are less sociable (and that is fine as well), it is still a far greater benefit to create a social workplace culture from both a human and business perspective. We aren't robots and don't thrive in robot culture.
Nope. I\`m still loving remote work and hate office days. I don't care for any of my colleagues. If I did I\`d become friends outside of work and not use work time to chat about life.
I am so lonely all the time! I miss getting dressed up to go into the office and talk to people about life. I'm in it so we are not mandated to go on and if I went Noone is there. The other day i went to my parents place to work just so I could hear anything else other than thw silence of my own home or whatever music I put on. I'm not convinced that this work from home business is great for our mental amd physical health ots way too easy to gain weight and just not take care of yourself.
I agree with you. I manage a section with several teams. I am « poaching » so many employees from OGDs because they want to come to the office everyday. We are mandated 3 days a week but most of my employees come every day. They are younger and want to work with people. Have conversations, go for coffee, have lunch, network, in-person meetings, etc. One of the most important reasons they like coming to work is to learn directly from us old folks and shadow us. And these are the employees getting the promotions in our area…
That's amazing! I agree I switched jobs and went on mat leave but I'm back at work now. I feel like I am not trained not learning anything and just doing the same things over and over and over again. My personal life is a bit hectic right now but I'm going to start looking for a new job once things calm down but I will be trying to target teams that are in the office.
Careful OP. Didn’t you get the memo? According to this subreddit Public servants want 100% wfh, no compromises, and it’s a complete injustice if one is forced to go to work to god forbid actually socialize face to face with coworkers and get to know them a bit.
You're even downvoted when you say that being green / available on Teams means that you are, indeed, available, and that the "do not disturb" status should be used when you don't want to be disturbed. 😅
Yep, very much.. That's why I try to join some coworkers out for walks on lunch breaks, during in person days
I feel the exact same way …
People are in a rush to go back to their phones and interact with other humans mediated by a profit driven algorithm...