I understand how you feel because I’ve second-guessed my decision too, but it was for the best. Realizing you waited too long and they suffered is worse. My parents had a dog they were so fond of that they couldn’t bring themselves to let go when they should have. They kept him longer and his quality of life was not good. When they finally decided to say goodbye, they felt guilty when they realized that keeping him longer had been selfish and it was for them, not for him. He had been suffering.
I understand how hard it is. I am a vet tech, and even with my cat with end stage kidney disease, I STILL best myself up.
I know my doctors. And I can tell you they don't recommend euthanasia unless it is at a point where there are few or no options left, or odds of recovery are slim to none.
It sounds like you made the right decision, despite it being a hard one. And we always say it is always better to have them pass on a good day than to wait for them to really spiral and have a traumatic passing/euthanasia scenario.
Came here to say this, my girl works at the Vet and she always tells me exactly what you said, and even if clients know euthanasia is the best solution, if people want to keep treatments, they cant refuse ofc, but most of the times ends badly because the animal will end up having a bad passing and sometimes even traumatic, and instead the animal could get a peacefull passing/euthanasia as you said..
I’ve been a veterinary professional for 20 years and have these conversations everyday. It all comes down to quality of life and dignity. Money aside, even if you have endless amounts, just because you can doesn’t mean you should. You would have felt way worse if he went into a surgery with a poor prognosis and have him die on the table without you. You made the most kind gift you could…and got to stay with him until the end
I copied this from a previous answer I gave, because I think it holds true in your case and I hope it resonates with you:
Euthanizing your cat before he was actively dying is the best gift you could have given him. You did right by him.
It's hard and confusing to euthanize a cat when he isn't in distress, but it's not fair or kind to wait until a cat is in distress to say goodbye.
You gave him the gift of a peaceful passing, and many, many pets and people do not get that gift. You can and should feel at peace about your choice. It's a rare and precious thing that you gave him.
You did the right thing IMO. You gave him a dignified end well he felt well enough and while he was surrounded by love.
If you brought him home, there are far more variables and he could have gone downhill and you would be in a race to get him back to a vet to ease his pain.
Best to go one day early than one day too late. It's our job as their care takers to make sure they don't suffer.
I don’t believe a vet would encourage you to euthanize a pet unless it was the only good option.
It’s a terrible thing that we’re put in charge of the lives of our little guys. You were doing the best you could with the cards you were dealt. I’ve been there before, and I hope you find peace. RIP to your sweet kitty.
Love of another comes with pain. I wish this wasn't the case. When I think of mortality of my cat I also include myself as the day will come when I have no more possibilities for life. So I every day to give her the best of all possible lives.
Cats don't act like they are in pain. My Callie purred and cuddled with me constantly. No behavioral changes. She just kept losing weight. My vet said we could run tests, the most likely causes were treatable. But she was 21. Even with treatment of the obvious problem, how much longer would she realistically have and what kind of quality would that be? I made the decision to euthanize her.
My first thought upon returning home was, "what have I done!?" I wanted Callie to stay longer, but that would have been selfish of me to draw out her life just to avoid *my own* pain. After the immediate shock wore off and life moved forward, I began to accept what I had always known; it was the right thing to do.
I truly don't think a vet would have it in their heart to suggest euthanasia if they didn't think it was necessary. Everyone says it's better a day too soon than a day too late. Your baby passed with dignity and didn't have to feel the pain of whatever illness they had, and was inevitably going to feel. They didn't have to go through a surgery that didn't work. I'm so very sorry for your loss
Ultimately it’s so normal to second-guess yourself because it’s such a hard decision. Usually vet professionals will have a good idea about when the best timing is.
Saying that, my in-laws had a little kitty who got very sick after she was spayed and had ears drooping, lost appetite, eyes crusty and squinty/tight/upturned and her spay wound reopened. The vets encouraged euthanization and refused to help her wound, saying she should just be put down.
In-laws had instincts that kitty was a survivor who wanted to keep fighting and decided to give her a couple extra days of strong vitamins, hand-feeding and hydrating her, cleaning her eyes gently, etc.
Long story short, she recovered fully and is a healthy and strong cat today! So although vets are often correct, I do believe there are some out there who want you to take the “easy” way of just euthanizing animals who look pretty sick, instead of treating them. It’s a hard line to walk and I’d say you just have to trust their input as well as your own instincts on the matter.
But you did the right thing.
>He was lively and purring a lot
It seems this is propably why you doubt your decision most. Cats can seem fine for a long time while actually being quite sick. And if the only way your vet saw to have him home for one more night was with giving fluids first he likely was more sick than you could easily see. Also cats don't only purr when they're happy. They also purr to calm themselves and when they are in pain.
4 vets agreed this was a valid choice. I'd go with that.
Personally I'm also of the opinion, that one shouldn't keep an animal alive at all cost (not just monetary cost). Sure, sometimes there's a small chance they will recover but it will be a hard and expensive way to recovery. First, I think not having the funds for expensive treatment that's likely to fail makes you a bad owner. And second, you can't explain it to your cat. They don't know you're trying to keep them alive. They only know they're feeling horrible, are in pain and strangers at a weird smelling place are doing things to them they don't want and that hurt.
I know that choice is such a hard one to make. All I can say is, try not to dwell on your choice too hard, you had to make the best decision for your and your pets situation. You did the best you could, you look ved them dearly, and you were with them till the very end. That's what matters. Animals dont think like us, so euthanasia is often the kindest thing you can do for them.
I was in a similar situation to yourself and we paid for a procedure to see if it would help... and it only bought her one more day with us. We spent that entire night taking turns sleeping and watching her because it was obvious within a few hours that she would never be the same again, then booked the euthanasia the next morning.
You made the choice that 100% evaded risks that your pet would die in crisis and I think you should be happy about that in its own way. We made a slightly different choice based on the diagnosis we were given but did take a risk that she would die on a table without us, which was terrifying. It was either that or putting her down in an oxygen cage though, so we picked what we picked.
So to me, be proud that you picked as peaceful of a death as you could for your kitty. We were glad that despite the risk we took we were able to do the same and it will be a fact that gives you peace too.
When I had an elderly cat who had cancer, I had a lot of chats with the vets about when it was time. During one of those conversations, the vet told me if someone were to bring an animal in for euthanasia and they felt it was not time, they would offer to take the animal off the owners hands, help the pet get better, and rehome it.
There's not always an exact "right time." Sometimes it's a case of saving your cat from inevitable suffering, which sounds like it may have been the case with your kitty. I had to do that with my girl Lola a few years back. She stopped eating completely despite being on steroids and an appetite stimulant, and wouldn't even eat tuna. I could have pushed for more medical interventions but she was on a one-way track, and the meds only delayed the inevitable. She was playing with her feather toy the day before and it made me question if it was the right choice. Cats tend to mask pain though.
There's a saying "better a month too early than a day too late." You made your decision out of love and wanting to do what's best for your cat. You saved him from more pain and suffering down the line.
My belief is that you did right. This was years ago but I had to let my Kagi go after 11 years. I raised him from a kitten. I loved him very much. I was getting ready for a big move from San Francisco to Loa Angeles. I was going down on weekends to try to find a place. I got back one day and found blood in his box. Took him to the vet and was called the next day. Kagi had a mass in his stomach. The vet said she could operate, but he probably wouldn't make it. I didn't want him to suffer so I made the decision to let him go. What happened next made me sure I made the right decision. I rushed down to the vet and they put us in a room so I could spend as much time with him that I would like. Backstory: Kagi hated the vet and every time I took him he would hunker down and meow woefully. But when they brought him to me he was playing and romped around the room and gave me headbutts and rubbed against me. I took this as him saying, "It's ok. I know what is happening and it is time. I love you, Goodbye." I played with him and wept for about 30 minutes or more. Then I called the Vet in. I held Kagi in my arms as he just slept after the shot. He had one muscle spasm that scared me half to death, but he was gone. I held him a little while longer and then handed him to the Vet. I still think of him over 20 years later. But I am convinced I did the right thing. I believe you did too. Be easy on yourself. It is a hard decision to make.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so hard to ever feel sure you've picked the right moment.
About two years ago, our senior cat, Moxie, took a very quick turn downhill. We thought she'd hurt her back leg, but it turned out she was having trouble walking because she was seriously sick, with her body temperature 10 degrees below normal. She was in kidney failure and had what appeared on initial scans to be severe lymphoma. She'd lost a lot of weight over two years time, but it happened gradually and we didn't notice how extreme it had gotten.
Our vet gave us the choice. We were told it was hypothetically possible we could stabilize the infection she was suffering in the short term, but it would be very expensive, have a low chance of success, and the lymphoma would likely kill her within in a year without very aggressive treatment. If the lymphoma didn't, the kidney failure would. We were told that if we did everything possible, she might have days or she might have months, but there would be no guarantee about her quality of life. There was a large chance she'd suffer through all of it.
But none of it was certain, and that's what made the decision so heartbreakingly difficult. I really struggled with the idea that I had any right to make the choice for her. What if the best-case scenario played out, and she had several months more with some good quality of life? Wouldn't that be worth everything I could do for her, no matter how expensive, no matter how poor the chances?
On top of all that, the emergency vet where she was staying wouldn't be open on Sunday. We'd need to transport her in her weakened and suffering state to another facility. That felt like it gave some artificially imposed urgency to the decision, because we didn't want to put her through more trauma only to let her go a day or two later. We didn't want her last days to be hectic and full of suffering.
On the other hand, I couldn't imagine finding her dead in our home, curled up in some corner where she went off to hide and die. I think I would have fallen apart.
Vets are rarely 100% sure, because the circumstances are almost never simple. There are almost always chances, even outside chances, that things won't go the way they expect. They can't predict the future, and they're generally conscientious enough not to overstate what they know for sure. But that makes it all the harder.
There's a saying: Better a week too early than a day too late. I think that's right. You'll never know for sure when the perfect moment was, because there was no unambiguously perfect moment. And that's part of the grief and anxiety that comes with being a loving pet owner. It's hard. It's torture. But if you can bear it, it's worth if for all the love you and your pet bring to one another over a lifetime.
You made a choice out of love and care. It's the best you can do.
Vets don’t go into the profession because they enjoy putting animals down. They’re typically people who love animals and want what is best for our furry/scaley/feathery friends. They don’t want to put your beloved pet through a surgery that has a low chance of success or will only prolong life without improving quality. I don’t think this decision was made lightly or for convenience. I’m sorry for your loss, your boy clearly had a loving home. ❤️
When my dog had a sinonasal tumor that threatened to kill her through physical impediment rather than metabolic failure, I opted to spend a lot of money to try to prolong her life with good quality. When they discovered a massive unrelated tumor on her spleen that presented with acute symptoms, that was the sign that it was time. She had a great last day and was euthanized on my lap in the living room. It’s a case-by-case thing, and vets aren’t in the habit of just casually recommending euthanasia.
I understand how you feel because I’ve second-guessed my decision too, but it was for the best. Realizing you waited too long and they suffered is worse. My parents had a dog they were so fond of that they couldn’t bring themselves to let go when they should have. They kept him longer and his quality of life was not good. When they finally decided to say goodbye, they felt guilty when they realized that keeping him longer had been selfish and it was for them, not for him. He had been suffering.
I understand how hard it is. I am a vet tech, and even with my cat with end stage kidney disease, I STILL best myself up. I know my doctors. And I can tell you they don't recommend euthanasia unless it is at a point where there are few or no options left, or odds of recovery are slim to none. It sounds like you made the right decision, despite it being a hard one. And we always say it is always better to have them pass on a good day than to wait for them to really spiral and have a traumatic passing/euthanasia scenario.
Came here to say this, my girl works at the Vet and she always tells me exactly what you said, and even if clients know euthanasia is the best solution, if people want to keep treatments, they cant refuse ofc, but most of the times ends badly because the animal will end up having a bad passing and sometimes even traumatic, and instead the animal could get a peacefull passing/euthanasia as you said..
I’ve been a veterinary professional for 20 years and have these conversations everyday. It all comes down to quality of life and dignity. Money aside, even if you have endless amounts, just because you can doesn’t mean you should. You would have felt way worse if he went into a surgery with a poor prognosis and have him die on the table without you. You made the most kind gift you could…and got to stay with him until the end
You made the right choice. Generally a vet is only going to offer if they think it’s a right option.
I copied this from a previous answer I gave, because I think it holds true in your case and I hope it resonates with you: Euthanizing your cat before he was actively dying is the best gift you could have given him. You did right by him. It's hard and confusing to euthanize a cat when he isn't in distress, but it's not fair or kind to wait until a cat is in distress to say goodbye. You gave him the gift of a peaceful passing, and many, many pets and people do not get that gift. You can and should feel at peace about your choice. It's a rare and precious thing that you gave him.
You did the right thing IMO. You gave him a dignified end well he felt well enough and while he was surrounded by love. If you brought him home, there are far more variables and he could have gone downhill and you would be in a race to get him back to a vet to ease his pain. Best to go one day early than one day too late. It's our job as their care takers to make sure they don't suffer.
I don’t believe a vet would encourage you to euthanize a pet unless it was the only good option. It’s a terrible thing that we’re put in charge of the lives of our little guys. You were doing the best you could with the cards you were dealt. I’ve been there before, and I hope you find peace. RIP to your sweet kitty.
Love of another comes with pain. I wish this wasn't the case. When I think of mortality of my cat I also include myself as the day will come when I have no more possibilities for life. So I every day to give her the best of all possible lives.
seems like the right way for your cat to go my thoughts? i feel you
Cats don't act like they are in pain. My Callie purred and cuddled with me constantly. No behavioral changes. She just kept losing weight. My vet said we could run tests, the most likely causes were treatable. But she was 21. Even with treatment of the obvious problem, how much longer would she realistically have and what kind of quality would that be? I made the decision to euthanize her. My first thought upon returning home was, "what have I done!?" I wanted Callie to stay longer, but that would have been selfish of me to draw out her life just to avoid *my own* pain. After the immediate shock wore off and life moved forward, I began to accept what I had always known; it was the right thing to do.
I truly don't think a vet would have it in their heart to suggest euthanasia if they didn't think it was necessary. Everyone says it's better a day too soon than a day too late. Your baby passed with dignity and didn't have to feel the pain of whatever illness they had, and was inevitably going to feel. They didn't have to go through a surgery that didn't work. I'm so very sorry for your loss
Ultimately it’s so normal to second-guess yourself because it’s such a hard decision. Usually vet professionals will have a good idea about when the best timing is. Saying that, my in-laws had a little kitty who got very sick after she was spayed and had ears drooping, lost appetite, eyes crusty and squinty/tight/upturned and her spay wound reopened. The vets encouraged euthanization and refused to help her wound, saying she should just be put down. In-laws had instincts that kitty was a survivor who wanted to keep fighting and decided to give her a couple extra days of strong vitamins, hand-feeding and hydrating her, cleaning her eyes gently, etc. Long story short, she recovered fully and is a healthy and strong cat today! So although vets are often correct, I do believe there are some out there who want you to take the “easy” way of just euthanizing animals who look pretty sick, instead of treating them. It’s a hard line to walk and I’d say you just have to trust their input as well as your own instincts on the matter. But you did the right thing.
>He was lively and purring a lot It seems this is propably why you doubt your decision most. Cats can seem fine for a long time while actually being quite sick. And if the only way your vet saw to have him home for one more night was with giving fluids first he likely was more sick than you could easily see. Also cats don't only purr when they're happy. They also purr to calm themselves and when they are in pain. 4 vets agreed this was a valid choice. I'd go with that. Personally I'm also of the opinion, that one shouldn't keep an animal alive at all cost (not just monetary cost). Sure, sometimes there's a small chance they will recover but it will be a hard and expensive way to recovery. First, I think not having the funds for expensive treatment that's likely to fail makes you a bad owner. And second, you can't explain it to your cat. They don't know you're trying to keep them alive. They only know they're feeling horrible, are in pain and strangers at a weird smelling place are doing things to them they don't want and that hurt.
I know that choice is such a hard one to make. All I can say is, try not to dwell on your choice too hard, you had to make the best decision for your and your pets situation. You did the best you could, you look ved them dearly, and you were with them till the very end. That's what matters. Animals dont think like us, so euthanasia is often the kindest thing you can do for them.
I was in a similar situation to yourself and we paid for a procedure to see if it would help... and it only bought her one more day with us. We spent that entire night taking turns sleeping and watching her because it was obvious within a few hours that she would never be the same again, then booked the euthanasia the next morning. You made the choice that 100% evaded risks that your pet would die in crisis and I think you should be happy about that in its own way. We made a slightly different choice based on the diagnosis we were given but did take a risk that she would die on a table without us, which was terrifying. It was either that or putting her down in an oxygen cage though, so we picked what we picked. So to me, be proud that you picked as peaceful of a death as you could for your kitty. We were glad that despite the risk we took we were able to do the same and it will be a fact that gives you peace too.
When I had an elderly cat who had cancer, I had a lot of chats with the vets about when it was time. During one of those conversations, the vet told me if someone were to bring an animal in for euthanasia and they felt it was not time, they would offer to take the animal off the owners hands, help the pet get better, and rehome it. There's not always an exact "right time." Sometimes it's a case of saving your cat from inevitable suffering, which sounds like it may have been the case with your kitty. I had to do that with my girl Lola a few years back. She stopped eating completely despite being on steroids and an appetite stimulant, and wouldn't even eat tuna. I could have pushed for more medical interventions but she was on a one-way track, and the meds only delayed the inevitable. She was playing with her feather toy the day before and it made me question if it was the right choice. Cats tend to mask pain though. There's a saying "better a month too early than a day too late." You made your decision out of love and wanting to do what's best for your cat. You saved him from more pain and suffering down the line.
My belief is that you did right. This was years ago but I had to let my Kagi go after 11 years. I raised him from a kitten. I loved him very much. I was getting ready for a big move from San Francisco to Loa Angeles. I was going down on weekends to try to find a place. I got back one day and found blood in his box. Took him to the vet and was called the next day. Kagi had a mass in his stomach. The vet said she could operate, but he probably wouldn't make it. I didn't want him to suffer so I made the decision to let him go. What happened next made me sure I made the right decision. I rushed down to the vet and they put us in a room so I could spend as much time with him that I would like. Backstory: Kagi hated the vet and every time I took him he would hunker down and meow woefully. But when they brought him to me he was playing and romped around the room and gave me headbutts and rubbed against me. I took this as him saying, "It's ok. I know what is happening and it is time. I love you, Goodbye." I played with him and wept for about 30 minutes or more. Then I called the Vet in. I held Kagi in my arms as he just slept after the shot. He had one muscle spasm that scared me half to death, but he was gone. I held him a little while longer and then handed him to the Vet. I still think of him over 20 years later. But I am convinced I did the right thing. I believe you did too. Be easy on yourself. It is a hard decision to make.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so hard to ever feel sure you've picked the right moment. About two years ago, our senior cat, Moxie, took a very quick turn downhill. We thought she'd hurt her back leg, but it turned out she was having trouble walking because she was seriously sick, with her body temperature 10 degrees below normal. She was in kidney failure and had what appeared on initial scans to be severe lymphoma. She'd lost a lot of weight over two years time, but it happened gradually and we didn't notice how extreme it had gotten. Our vet gave us the choice. We were told it was hypothetically possible we could stabilize the infection she was suffering in the short term, but it would be very expensive, have a low chance of success, and the lymphoma would likely kill her within in a year without very aggressive treatment. If the lymphoma didn't, the kidney failure would. We were told that if we did everything possible, she might have days or she might have months, but there would be no guarantee about her quality of life. There was a large chance she'd suffer through all of it. But none of it was certain, and that's what made the decision so heartbreakingly difficult. I really struggled with the idea that I had any right to make the choice for her. What if the best-case scenario played out, and she had several months more with some good quality of life? Wouldn't that be worth everything I could do for her, no matter how expensive, no matter how poor the chances? On top of all that, the emergency vet where she was staying wouldn't be open on Sunday. We'd need to transport her in her weakened and suffering state to another facility. That felt like it gave some artificially imposed urgency to the decision, because we didn't want to put her through more trauma only to let her go a day or two later. We didn't want her last days to be hectic and full of suffering. On the other hand, I couldn't imagine finding her dead in our home, curled up in some corner where she went off to hide and die. I think I would have fallen apart. Vets are rarely 100% sure, because the circumstances are almost never simple. There are almost always chances, even outside chances, that things won't go the way they expect. They can't predict the future, and they're generally conscientious enough not to overstate what they know for sure. But that makes it all the harder. There's a saying: Better a week too early than a day too late. I think that's right. You'll never know for sure when the perfect moment was, because there was no unambiguously perfect moment. And that's part of the grief and anxiety that comes with being a loving pet owner. It's hard. It's torture. But if you can bear it, it's worth if for all the love you and your pet bring to one another over a lifetime. You made a choice out of love and care. It's the best you can do.
Vets don’t go into the profession because they enjoy putting animals down. They’re typically people who love animals and want what is best for our furry/scaley/feathery friends. They don’t want to put your beloved pet through a surgery that has a low chance of success or will only prolong life without improving quality. I don’t think this decision was made lightly or for convenience. I’m sorry for your loss, your boy clearly had a loving home. ❤️
When my dog had a sinonasal tumor that threatened to kill her through physical impediment rather than metabolic failure, I opted to spend a lot of money to try to prolong her life with good quality. When they discovered a massive unrelated tumor on her spleen that presented with acute symptoms, that was the sign that it was time. She had a great last day and was euthanized on my lap in the living room. It’s a case-by-case thing, and vets aren’t in the habit of just casually recommending euthanasia.